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Once Upon a Time...

That's how stories start isn't it? But I don't know how to start this one. Once upon a time there was a woman who... No, how can I merely tell my half of this? I must begin with his.

Once upon a time there was a man who believed that he deserved love.

No, no, that's not right either. Everyone deserves love, after all. He believed that he was entitled to love? He believed that because he was obsessed, a thing he called "love", that the target of that obsession must love him in return, and was merely in denial. I think that's at least close to the truth, from what he told me later.

You were expecting something romantic, my dear? It becomes a love story eventually, but it took a very strange path to that point, and to be honest I suspect most people caught in the sort of obsession-and-terror that your father and I had would never have ended up at "love". Our story is a strange one, and there are reasons I wouldn't tell you much about it until now. But you're old enough to hear some of the stranger details. You seem to be dabbling in that kind of thing yourself.

Oh, don't look at me like that. You have to have noticed your father's collar. And I've seen what you keep at the back of your closet.

Don't worry, I won't judge. I really can't!

But to get back to the story...

Simply put, for twenty years I was terrified of him. And since he was a master magus, as well as a vampire, things got complicated, for that terror was spread out across dozens--even hundreds of worlds. Until the day when I realized I didn't want to be afraid anymore, and stopped running.

The funny thing is that it turned out that the running was what let his magic follow me. When I stopped, he lost my trail. It took twenty more years for me to decide to hunt him down in turn. He'd been doing some growing too, though. While I'd been figuring out that fear wasn't any use, he was figuring out that he wasn't entitled to my love.

I still think he's crazy, mind, for saying I could kill him if I wanted to! But I didn't. Instead I had him use his magic to take me home, here, to Aerievale. That's where the story gets much nicer. Well, I suppose there was still the matter of my revenge. When it came down to it, I couldn't quite let go of all he'd done to me. But you don't want to hear about my torturing your father, I'm sure.

Oh, you do?

Of course, of course. You really are our child, aren't you? And you are old enough for that part too, I suppose.

Very well. Here's how it happened, and how everything terrible that lay between us somehow was transmuted through pain into love...

---

The disorientation of traveling between the worlds faded and Ildri Pyre looked around her. She stood in a forest, as she had mere moments ago, but where that had been the sparse pine and aspen wood of the high desert, this was a rich, damp forest of mixed pines and oaks, covered with moss and ferns; the branches above nearly blocking out the light. It was a forest that did indeed look like the temperate rain forest of her home. She took a deep breath, smelling the familiar moist, rich, loamy scent of forest life. Sunlight filtered down amid the leaves, though the beams were thin given the thick foliage. Some of them still glinted off her vivid, almost unnaturally bright orange hair and sparkled in her bright green eyes. Her skin was tanned, marked with lines of both laughter and fear, though her hair showed no gray at all. Her kind lived nearly forever, and didn't age like humans did, but it was clear she was no longer young. Tynan was intensely, guiltily aware of that fact as he looked at her.

"Here we are," said Tynan. He tried to shake off his guilt and lifted his face to a thin beam of sunlight that slanted down amid the trees. His skin reflected the light like paper, so pale as to be almost bone white. His eyes were pale, pale blue, his hair dark, jet black, and at his back a pair of white wings that managed to be a shade paler than his skin. His stature was slight, almost child-like, and his features made him look like no more than seventeen or eighteen at most, though he was much, much older than that.

Here, in this world, the vampire was protected from the sun as he could never have been in the world he had just left. The magic that guarded him didn't work there. To see sunlight again was a wonder, after so many years, and he smiled and closed his eyes as he tilted his face back to the radiant warmth.

Ildri looked at him, his sun-dappled face unable to show the years as hers did, and she sighed softly. "I suppose at this point I can probably trust you. But forests like this aren't exclusive to my home. I want to see Aerievale, find how long it's been and if anybody I know is still alive."

Tynan's smile faded, and he nodded. "If this went as planned, we should be within a day's journey of the city. If we head west from here we should strike the trade road before long. As for how long it's been... I wish I could say. But your world seems to tend to run slower, so there's a good chance it's only been a few years here."

"Very well. And what then, if this does prove to be my home?"

Tynan looked at her, and even though he didn't look old, suddenly he looked incredibly weary. "That is up to you. I said I would do whatever you wanted. I meant it. If you want me to leave the city, or leave this world entirely, I will do so. If you want me to stay and serve you, I will do that. If you decide to kill me after all, you can. Whatever it is that will do the most to fulfill my debt to you, even though I can never pay you back in full."

Ildri sighed again. She thought of the many elaborate revenge fantasies she'd concocted over the years. But killing Tynan wouldn't give her back her lost life. And as satisfying as playing out those fantasies out would be, killing somebody who seemed to be genuinely remorseful didn't sit well with her. Fantasy could be very enjoyable, she'd learned that when she was much younger and comparatively innocent. But reality wasn't generally so tidy.

She turned over the possibilities in her mind. Sending Tynan away had a certain appeal. She could get on with her life, and never think of him again. But really, could she? Decades had passed. She wasn't the same person, and even if the time ratio had been kind and her human, elven, and avian friends were all still alive, many of them would no doubt have changed, moved away, married, or otherwise gone on with their lives. It wouldn't be the same.

She looked over at the avian vampire, who was standing very still, his eyes lowered, waiting for her decision, and suddenly a flash of rage went through her. He had taken four decades of her life away. More than forty years that she would never get back again. If time had flowed the same here, most of her friends would be doddering oldsters! She'd had so many plans, so many hopes and dreams and he had ruined them all. She wanted to punch him in the face, or draw her dagger and skewer him!

Ildri took a deep breath, calming herself. *No,* she told herself again. *I can't just beat him up, any more than I can kill him. He may not be innocent, but he is repentant. It wouldn't be right. Though...* She looked at him again, her thought trailing off as she really noticed the way he was standing. There was something about the pose, about the lowered head and the hands clasped behind him that was suddenly evocative of another setting entirely. She took a moment to think over their past interactions, and was surprised by a sudden suspicion. *I wonder...*

"You're a submissive, aren't you?" she asked abruptly.

Tynan glanced up, looking startled, and his pale cheeks blushed pink. "Uhm. Y-yes?"

Ildri suddenly grinned, with a note of sadism in her smile. "I thought so." Then her expression turned serious. "Maybe there is a way you can repay me after all. Your actions took away forty-some years of my life. You can't give those years back, but I can take equal years of your life in exchange. You said if I wanted you to stay and serve me, you would. Well, I do want you to stay. But I want more than just a servant. I want you to be my slave. And I don't mean a pleasure-slave either, you'll get no such satisfaction out of me! I mean I want to own you utterly, to take away all your rights and have you be an object, a thing, existing only because I permit you to do so." As Ildri spoke, her tone turned harsh and she could feel the anger bubbling up in her again. She wouldn't kill him, no, and if he really was a submissive he might even enjoy some of what she would do to him, but she would have her satisfaction for all her wasted years, all her fear, all her wandering. She wouldn't kill him, but he might well wish she had. "Are you willing to be owned, to have no life of your own, and to let me do anything at all to you?"

Tynan dropped his eyes again. "Yes. My life is yours, to do with as you wish."

"That's 'Yes, Mistress,'" snapped Ildri.

Tynan gasped and twitched as if he'd been slapped. "Yes, Mistress!"

"Better." She smiled. "It may be petty of me, but I'm going to enjoy this, I think."

"Whatever pleases you, pleases me, Mistress," said Tynan softly, and for a moment Ildri felt the same wonder she'd felt before, when he'd knelt to her blade, proving he would let her kill him. It seemed impossible that the terrifying vampire-wizard she'd fled for so long could be this small, quiet, submissive being.

"Good," said Ildri. "But we're getting ahead of ourselves here, really. Let's go find the city, and see how long it's been."

---

It took less than an hour of tramping through the forest to reach the road. But the sun set while they were still amid the foothills, miles away from where Aerievale should lie, if they were even on the right planet at all. The contours of the hills along the road were familiar to Ildri, and the mountains ahead had the outline they should, but in the infinity of possible worlds, that meant very little. Even finding the city wouldn't be a sure sign they were in the right place. She would have to find somebody she knew in order to be certain.

They made a rough camp near the side of the road. Ildri's backpack carried a few basic supplies, and Tynan needed little to be comfortable. They set up camp largely in silence, each alone with his or her thoughts. Tynan was mostly dazed. First he'd been certain that he was going to die, then he'd thought he was going to have to leave Ildri forever, and now he was committed to serving her for the next forty years? He knew that she would probably take out a great deal of her past anger on him, and it wouldn't always be pleasant, but it still seemed too good to be true. To be with her... It was the thing he wanted most, and had expected least.

Ildri was dazed too, but in a different way. Her head was whirling with scenarios and she was almost giddy with a mixture of power, anger, and sadistic delight. All those years of terror, and the later years of hatred, and now the object of those emotions was utterly within her power. Again and again she ran her old revenge fantasies through her head, and even better, she was beginning to fully realize the possibilities that lay before her. Tynan was a vampire. He was nearly immortal, and though some of the things she'd long pictured would kill him, and all of them would likely do serious harm to a normal avian, many of them would not kill, or even permanently scar a vampire. A part of her was horrified at the thought of deliberately torturing another sentient being, but it was a very small part, and even that voice of conscience was largely quieted by the recital of Tynan's past wrongs. No court could ever sentence him for what he had done, but she could administer her own form of justice, giving the vampire what he had long deserved.

Ildri's sleep was restless as her dreams echoed her chaotic thoughts, and Tynan slept little, his own thoughts keeping him awake far into the night. He sat and watched Ildri sleep, wishing as she tossed and turned and sometimes made soft, distressed sounds that he could hold her, comfort her. But he knew that she would not be comforted by his touch, so he merely sat, and watched, until only a few hours before sunrise he finally drifted off into a shallow slumber.

---

The sun had only just lipped the horizon when Ildri rose and stretched. She was tired, and uneasy, aware that she had dreamed disturbing dreams, but unable to remember the details. Trying to sleep longer wouldn't help any though, and she was eager to reach the city. She prodded Tynan, who had fallen asleep sitting up with his back to a tree, with one toe. "Wake up."

"Mrf?" He blinked drowsily up at her.

"Come on, get up!"

He blinked again, shaking off his sleepiness. "Yes, Mistress."

Ildri smiled, a little thrill of power going through her to hear him say it. "Good boy."

Tynan gave her a tentative smile in return as he climbed to his feet. A little thrill of a different sort went through him to hear that he had pleased her, even in so small a way.

They walked briskly along the road, Tynan following behind Ildri, and by the time the sun was at its zenith, they had come around the last bend before the sloping valley that held Aerievale. The city lay there, just as Ildri recalled it, spilling from the great temples and palaces near the mountain peaks to the shambles of the poor quarter on the valley floor, to the merchant's quarter along the river that passed through it. Her memories were old, but as far as Ildri could tell the city was the same as when she had left it. Or if changed, not by much. The greater houses all looked just as they had, and the chaos of the lower slopes was impossible to sort out clearly from this distance.

With a shrug she continued forward, Tynan following obediently behind her. It wasn't long before they were threading their way among the increasing traffic of the city itself. Aerievale had no city gates. Gates in a city of avians would be ridiculous. So the forest gave way gradually to the farmed valley floor, which gave way gradually to the city itself. As they approached the city proper, Ildri paused and turned to Tynan. "While we're in public, you probably shouldn't call me Mistress. Cosmopolitan as Aerievale is, that might still cause more trouble than it's worth. Call me ma'am or stay silent."

"Yes, ma'am."

They continued on, passing the blurry boundary between farmland and city proper. Here among the outskirts, Ildri thought she noticed differences. It was hard to be certain after so long, but some of the houses seemed new, while others she thought she recalled were absent. But they were small changes, things that might have happened in only a few years. She started to be more hopeful as she made her way through the streets, with Tynan trailing behind.

when she stood at last in front of a very familiar house, she smiled. It still looked exactly the same, from the patched roof down to the ancient couch sitting on the front porch. The couch was, perhaps, somewhat more stained and decayed than it had been, but if it had been forty years, it would have been nothing but a heap of mouldering splinters, if it still sat there at all.

Ildri mounted the sagging stairs and lifted the wrought iron door knocker, which was a suggestive abstract shape, its artistry at odds with the weathered and run-down look of the door it adorned. From inside there was a sound of hurrying steps, and then the door swung open and a middle-aged woman wearing a black satin dressing gown, with silver threads through honey-blond hair, stood in the doorway. A puzzled look crossed her face, and then her eyes widened. "Ildri Pyre! Sweet Mother! What in the world happened to you?"

"Quite a lot," said Ildri

"I can imagine! We all thought you'd been killed by that crazy stalker that was after you, when you didn't come back. But wait, you should come inside, we don't need to stand here letting all the world overhear us." She stepped back to let Ildri inside, and noticed Tynan standing there. "Mother of Life, that's him right here with you!" She stared from Tynan to Ildri and back to Tynan again.

"It's a long story, but he's not any threat to me at all now, don't worry about him," Ildri said as she stepped inside, Tynan still silently following two steps behind her.

"If you say so, dear," said the woman dubiously as she shut the door behind the pair. "Here, come sit down!"

Inside, the house was much less decrepit than outside. In fact it was rather luxurious. Dark wood paneling and tasteful wallpaper coordinated with heavy, stylish furnishings. Curtains were mostly drawn, the rooms lighted with burning lamps. The blonde woman settled herself on a couch in a book-lined parlor just off the entry hall, and Ildri sat down on a matching stuffed armchair, setting her pack beside it. Tynan glanced around, and though he saw a backless couch meant for avians, he settled himself instead on the floor at Ildri's feet. Ildri smiled and patted his head, and he felt a happy little thrill to have pleased her in even so small a way.

"Before we do anything else, I need to know... How long has it been since I left?"

Anne looked puzzled. "It's been six years. But surely you know that?"

"As I said, it's a long story," said Ildri, "But no, I don't."

"Well then tell, tell! What happened? Who is this apparently subby avian who was stalking you? What's the story?"

Ildri chuckled. "I suppose I should start with introductions. Tynan, this is Anne. Anne, Tynan. Anne is an old friend of mine who filled in a great deal of my practical education in being human when I was younger. And Tynan... Well, Tynan was indeed a creepy stalker, though he's now mended his ways, it seems." Ildri leaned back, keeping one hand on Tynan's bowed head, enjoying the pleasantly shivery feeling of power it gave her, and proceeded to tell a somewhat simplified, but still rather long, version of the story. Hearing it from her point of view, Tynan felt guilty all over again. *How could I have been so selfish?*

When she finished, Anne shook her head. "I'm not quite sure I can believe it. But you always were too honest for your own good, so I suppose it's probably true."

Ildri smiled. "Can I ask you a favor, Anne? Or two favors, I guess."

"Ask away, dear."

"I need somewhere to stay while I get back into the swing of city life, for one. Do you have any of the upstairs rooms open?"

"Yes I do, though just the one. But you can stay as long as you like, dear, there are some characters here just now that I'd throw out long before you, even when they're paying their rent. And don't worry about the rent, I can put you up for at least a few months without straining things, business has been good lately."

"Thank you Anne. It really helps a lot. The other favor I need is the use of one of the basement rooms. The soundproofed one, if you still have it. Not right away, but... soon."

Anne looked from Ildri to Tynan for a moment, then nodded. "I can do that for you, yes. House rules though, I have to ask if you're going to be doing anything that counts as edgeplay."

Ildri nodded and bit her lower lip, hesitating before replying. "Yes, most likely. But... This is personal, Anne. I know it's against the usual rules, but I need to be alone. And he's a vampire. It's not like I can do him permanent damage, he's more or less immortal."

Anne gave her another long look, but smiled. "There is that. All right, dear. I wouldn't do it for just anyone, but for you, yes. The soundproof room is still there, pretty much just like it's always been, and there are a few free slots in it up for grabs in the next couple of weeks. Though only a few, like I said, business has been good."

"Thank you." Ildri got to her feet. "I've been on the road for a long time, and if you don't mind, I'd like to get a bath and some sleep."

"And what about him?" Anne nodded in Tynan's direction. "I don't have a room for him, there's just the one."

"He'll be staying with me," said Ildri, her hand still possessively on Tynan's head.

Anne gave Ildri a long look, then shrugged. "If that's how you want it, dear. Your room will be the second room to the right at the top of the stairs there. You can probably find it on your own. I'm going to go see about having a bath drawn for you. I trust you won't insist on your sub coming with you to bathe?"

Ildri chuckled. "No, I think I can manage that on my own. Thank you again Anne." Ildri took her hand off of Tynan's head, and he stood obediently and followed her as she made her way out of the parlor and up the stairs at the back of the entryway. The second room on the right proved to be a cozy little room painted white, with a bedspread, curtains, and throw rug in pastel blue. Ildri dropped her pack on the floor beside the bed and sat down on it with a sigh.

"Home. I almost can't believe I'm really here. And only six years. Long enough that some of my old crowd will probably have moved on, but still... Anne is still here, and I'm sure many of the others will be too." She let out a long breath, relaxing for the first time in what seemed like forever. Then she looked at Tynan, who was standing uncertainly in the doorway. "Oh come in. Close the door and sit." She pointed at her feet.

"Yes, Mistress," said Tynan softly. He shut the door and crossed the room to sit down at her feet. After a moment he hesitantly leaned his head against her knee. She rested a hand on his head again, looking down at him. He seemed so different now. His mannerisms had changed entirely, not just between when she'd first met him so many years ago and now, but between when she'd seen him in the high desert world and now. He had knelt before her then, but it hadn't been in submission, it had been part of his attempt to convince her. Sincere, perhaps, but calculated as well. But now... She stroked his hair. He was kneeling now not because it would impress her with his sincerity, but because it would please her. And his voice was softer now, and his expression too was softer. He no longer carried himself with the easy confidence of a skilled mage and warrior. Though it wasn't that he was no longer confident, it was rather that he no longer seemed to want to project his confidence. He was quieter, and almost...serene. And yet he was sometimes a little hesitant, and a little shy, as though he were afraid of her. She continued to stroke his hair absently as she thought and planned, and he sighed softly, a contented sound, and settled himself more comfortably against her leg.

"We'll need money, first thing," she said, musing aloud. "There are a few things I need; they probably won't be too expensive, but they won't be cheap either. And we need to pay Anne for the room, I can't just live on her charity. I can probably find something in entertainment, I am a bard and storyteller, after all, and after all my adventures I have an immense supply of stories. You can probably find some way of bringing in income too, I'm sure." She paused and in a less absent tone added, "Which you will be giving to me. Slaves don't own money or property, they are property."

"Yes, Mistress."

"Good boy. I have to admit that it's more enjoyable that I would have thought, having you under my control like this. And you seem to be enjoying it as well, yes?"

His head stayed bent beneath her hand as he answered. "Yes, Mistress. Very much so."

She chuckled. "You may not enjoy it that much once I get the things I need for what I have in mind. But ah well. Enjoy it while you can, I suppose."

Anne's voice floated up from below, "Your bath is ready, Ildri dear," and Ildri got to her feet. Tynan stayed sitting on the floor, but lifted his head to look up at her.

"Stay here. I probably will be a while, but I expect to find you in the same place when I return."

"Yes, Mistress," he said, nodding and lowering his head again. He stayed there, holding himself very still, as Ildri left and shut the door. He heard her footsteps down the hall. His hearing was supernaturally good, and he could hear everything in the house. Including a number of people going about ordinary activities on the upper and ground floors, and some very peculiar and interesting sounds coming faintly from further down. He could hear the splash of water as Ildri got into the bath. He couldn't help but picture it for a moment, how she would look as she climbed into the water, how beautiful she was... He shook himself. Dwelling on those sorts of thoughts would only leave him frustrated, and dangerously prone to doing something stupid. She had said he would not get any such pleasures from her, and he believed her. He was her slave, nothing more. He stared at a little patch of sunlight that leaked in past the drawn curtains, and focused on it, directing his attention to sight, not hearing. He dropped into an almost meditative state as he watched it creep across the floor and begin to slowly vanish as the sun set.

He succeeded in distracting himself until Ildri was finished with a very leisurely bath, and her increasingly loud footsteps approaching the room managed to catch his attention. He checked quickly to be sure he was in the same spot and hadn't moved. He didn't want to disappoint her in even the smallest thing.

She opened the door and smiled to see him still sitting in the same place. She walked over and patted his head. "Good boy."

He shivered. He didn't even know how to describe how good it felt to hear her say that. It seemed to get better every time, too. He shifted from a sitting position to a kneeling one, resettling his wings with a fluttering of feathers.

"Thank you, Mistress," he said softly.

Ildri chuckled, amused to be thanked merely for a head pat and a few words. "You'll sleep tonight on the floor at the foot of my bed. Were it a bit larger I'd let you sleep on the foot of the bed itself, but there'd be no room for my own feet then, so it will have to be the floor. But now I need to get dressed for bed, and you're not to look, close your eyes."

He obediently shut his eyes, though his ears told him when she shed the borrowed dressing gown she'd been wearing after her bath, and he was quite certain she wasn't wearing anything under it. He bit his lip, hard enough to hurt, though not quite hard enough for his fangs to draw blood, and tried not to think about it. There was a rustle of cloth as she pulled out something else, but then she paused. He heard soft footfalls that halted before him as he knelt, eyes closed but able to picture all too well what he would see if he opened them. He bit his lip harder, tasting blood.

Then he felt fingers brushing against his cheek and he flinched. Ildri chuckled again, the sound throaty and dangerously alluring. "You remind me. Here, my slave, is the first of the things you will not enjoy at all. You are not only not to be a pleasure-slave, you are not permitted any such pleasure at all without my express permission. Not with another, and not by yourself. Do you understand?"

He shuddered. "Y-yes Mistress."

"Good." She stepped away, and the rustle of cloth resumed as she dressed herself. Then he heard her lie down in the bed. "You may open your eyes now."

"Thank you Mistress," he said, still shivering with the conflicting feelings of wanting to serve her and simply wanting her. His desire to please and serve her was stronger, but the other impulse was strong enough to make him quiver with the tension of holding it back. He crawled to the foot of the bed and curled up on the floor there. Finding he was panting, he held his breath and tried to calm himself.

*She's right, I won't entirely enjoy this,* he thought to himself. *But this isn't about my enjoyment. This is about my debt, about serving her. I am her slave. I am hers.* And that thought, that he was owned, that he belonged to her, calmed him. That was a connection as real as any lover's bond.

---

The next few weeks passed uneventfully. Ildri made the rounds of her old friends, finding who was still around and who had moved away. She also found enjoyable employment playing soft background music at an upscale restaurant on the higher slopes. She was able to rent a nice lap harp, and found it soothing to sit and play all the soft and mellow tunes she knew for hours on end. Tynan also found work, and shocked the Master-class mage who ran a small enchanted items store by proving he was a Grand Master.

"Why on earth would you want to work for me when you're a far better mage than I am?" he asked.

Tynan shrugged. "To set up my own shop requires the investment of funds I don't have, and to run it requires a reputation that I also don't have, not to mention a lot of time I don't have, and a lot of business skills that I don't care to develop. I'm not interested in fame, and I don't want to be rich either, I just want to live comfortably. This is easier."

"Well, I won't say no, my own reputation is going to benefit greatly from your work here."

It didn't take long for them to earn enough for Ildri to pay Anna for their room, and when the next week's pay after that arrived, Ildri set out to get what she needed to finish her plan.

---

"Tynan?"

"Yes, Mistress?" He sat in his accustomed place at her feet as she sat on the bed and counted out their funds.

"Before I go and buy anything, I should ask... I know part of what I want is quite possible, I've seen it done before, but the other part..." She considered how to put it. "I can command you to do what I want, but you're still physically many times stronger than I am. I would prefer it if you weren't. Since your strength is supernatural in origin, can supernatural means remove it? Is there a spell to make it merely human, and if there is, can it be cast permanently on an item?"

Tynan considered. "I'm not aware of any such spell already written, but in principle it should be entirely possible. Give me a week or two and I can probably come up with something."

Ildri smiled. "Good boy. And if you cast a locking spell on something, can you do it so that you can no longer undo it from the inside?"

Tynan shuddered. That question brought back his old life, and all the bad memories from it in a flood. He'd cast such a spell before. *But this is different,* he told himself. *I trust her, where I could never trust that other.*

"Tynan?"

"Sorry, Mistress. That just... reminded me of something. But yes, I can cast such a spell. I have cast one before."

For a moment Ildri almost asked. There was something in his voice that suggested that things had not gone well, that previous time. But she didn't quite know how to ask. Although in some ways they were tied closely to each other, in some ways they were still strangers. So she just got up and said, "Time to go shopping then."

With directions from Anne they set out in search of a leather worker and a metalsmith who would make what Ildri had in mind.

The leather worker's shop smelled strongly of leather, chemical dyes, and a whiff of the urea still sometimes used in tanning. The owner listened attentively as Ildri described a pair of wrist cuffs. He smiled knowingly at her, and pushed aside a display of more mundane items to show her examples of various restraints. As they discussed the design she wanted, Ildri had a sudden thought.

"Tynan?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"How well does leather hold magic?"

He shook his head. "Not very well. It's one of the worst things for it, in fact. Wood is slightly better, metal better still, and the best thing is stone."

"Stone, hmm?" She turned to the leather worker. "What if we set stones here, and here then? Perhaps onyx?"

He nodded. "I can do that for you, yes. Onyx will add a little to the price, but not too much, and I think it will look very nice with your design."

"Excellent! We'll be back at the end of the week then, to pick them up."

From there they went to the metalsmith, where Ildri this time described a collar, made of steel, to be made in two pieces and joined by magic. The man smiled and nodded at the request, not surprised at all. *But then anybody that Anne recommended,* thought Ildri, *wouldn't be surprised.* After having measured Tynan's neck to make sure it would fit, he told them that it would be done in a few days.

Ildri smiled, a little thrill of terrible anticipation going through her as she made her way through the busy streets back to Anne's. *Soon.*

---

Less than a week later, Ildri swung open the door to Anne's special soundproofed basement room. She carried the two halves of the collar and the two cuffs in her hand. At her belt she wore a dagger. In her pocket was a set of steel spring clips and a pair of ordinary non-magical cuffs. She would need nothing else, though Anne had offered her a full selection of toys. Tynan followed behind her, carrying nothing.

The basement's walls were bare stone; the soundproofing was magical, invisible. But when Tynan shut the door behind them, all the other sounds of the house were cut off completely. They were suddenly utterly alone, in their own universe.

All the mundane arrangements had been made. The room was theirs for the full night, a gift from Anne, who said that since they'd been so good about the rent she could more than afford to give them all the time they needed. Neither of them had to work for the next few days, so there would be time to recover from whatever took place. There was nothing left now but for Ildri to carry out her long-planned revenge.

"Before I do anything, I need to know where your limits are," she said, turning to Tynan. "I don't want to permanently damage you by accident. Normally during an edgeplay scene there would be somebody else here, to make sure nothing went wrong, but Anne is letting us bend the usual rules. So I don't want to push your limits too hard."

Tynan nodded. "Thank you, Mistress. But you don't have to worry much. I will heal from anything that doesn't kill me. Beheading is fatal, or anything else that destroys the upper spine or brain. Blood loss can be if taken to extremes, but that's only a problem if I bleed out more or less completely, and isn't likely. Uhm. The stake through the heart thing only works if it's left in there, if it's pulled out within the first hour or two I'll be fine. That's pretty much it, really. Oh, fire. There's the last one. I can burn to death just like anybody else, though I heal well from non-fatal burns. Other than that, I can heal from more or less anything. Though, er... I'd prefer it if you didn't amputate anything, as far as I know I won't grow it back. And if you would permit, I'd like to be able to feed soon after, so that I can heal fully and won't have to spend the whole night in pain. But that's up to you, Mistress."

She looked at him standing there, eyes lowered, face still and serene. What he'd just said revealed that he knew exactly what sort of thing she had in mind, and he still was willing to let her do it. She had a moment of hesitation. What she was about to do amounted to torture. She'd never actually tortured anybody before. Little sadism/masochism games, yes, when she'd lived here with Anne as a young woman and in a few other places across the worlds she'd traveled. But those weren't really torture, the "victim" had enjoyed the relatively mild pain inflicted. This would be different.

She shook her head, reminding herself of her lost years, and felt the familiar flame of anger start to burn brighter. If he didn't mind her doing this, well that was just one more reason to go ahead and do it without any guilt!

She took a quick survey of the room's contents. There was a bed, of course, freshly made up with clean bedding, that stood against one wall. The opposite wall held a cabinet, which could have been well stocked with all sorts of things, had she requested it, but which instead stood empty. The wall opposite the door was set at varying intervals and heights with sturdy iron rings, driven into the stone quite firmly. She nodded. Everything was ready.

"Kneel," she said, and Tynan sank obediently to his knees, his hands resting on them, wings folded to his sides with the long primaries trailing out on the floor, his head bowed. She stepped up behind him, placing her hand for a moment on his head, feeling again that thrill of power at how completely he submitted to her. She set the cuffs down, and took the two halves of the steel collar in her hands. Tynan had already set the spell on it this morning. When the halves touched, they would fuse together, making the collar one piece, and the whole thing would be wrapped in a spell that would prevent it from being filed or cut off. Tynan's own magic would be unable to touch it from the inside, and the spell was so finely crafted that even from the outside it would take another Grand Master mage to remove the spell. And then you'd still have to file the collar off.

She took a deep breath, and closed the collar around Tynan's neck. With a faint click the ends met and fused, leaving a single piece of gleaming steel. "You're mine now," she said with quiet intensity. "Mine completely and utterly. Mine forever."

Tynan shivered as he realized she hadn't said anything about the forty years. She had said "forever." Something was changing between them, and he could almost dare to hope that after she had had her revenge, there might be something more, something other than simply paying back a debt. "Yes, Mistress," he said softly, almost whispering it. "I'm yours, in every way. Forever."

She smiled. "Stand."

He got to his feet, and held out one arm for her as she picked up one of the leather cuffs. She buckled the heavy band around his narrow wrist, and turned it so that the steel ring attached to a plate and hasp on one side was facing out, the two large onyx stones that held the spell he'd concocted set on either side of the ring. He held out his other wrist and she buckled the second cuff on. He felt no change, but he knew that the spell was working, that he now had no more strength than his slight frame would suggest.

"Now, let's test it out," said Ildri, and with a grin she twisted her hand in his hair, and shoved downward, forcing him back to his knees. He resisted instinctively for a moment, surprised by her sudden move, but she was more sturdily built than he, her muscles toned by her years of travel and hard work, and she overwhelmed the brief resistance easily.

"Very nice," she said. Then she pulled him back to his feet and shoved him towards the far wall. He stumbled, nearly falling, completely unused to dealing with someone who was stronger than him. It had been close to two centuries since he'd last had merely human strength. He recovered and took the last few steps to the wall on his own, but before he could turn to face Ildri, she had grabbed his shoulder and spun him around by main force. Her other hand grabbed his throat above the collar and pushed him back against the wall. "Stay," she snapped and let go of him. Wide-eyed and still mentally off balance, he froze in place, panting. His body might not actually need air, but the psychological response was still there. Had his heart been able to beat it would have been racing.

Ildri retrieved the steel spring clips from her pocket and, grabbing Tynan's wrist and pulling it up above his head, she used the clip to fasten the ring on his cuff to one of the rings set in the wall. A moment later the other wrist had received the same treatment. Then she knelt and attached the other cuffs to his ankles. She clipped them to the wall as well, then stood back. Tynan tugged experimentally against the restraints. Steel and leather were strong materials, and even had he still had his vampire's strength they might have held him, at least for a while. As it was, he was definitely not going anywhere. He shivered as he tested them. It had been a lifetime ago now, more than a century, since the woman who was twin to the one standing here had chained him up like this. The memories were worn, but still strong. But though they rose up around him now, they had no power over him. This Ildri was utterly different from her twin. Tynan trusted her. More than that, he loved her and wanted to please her. She needed her revenge, her catharsis, and he needed it too. And so he was able to banish memory, and banish fear as well.

Ildri drew her dagger, an eight inch double-edged blade, kept razor sharp. Tynan watched the gleaming blade, unable to keep a certain amount of nervous anticipation off his face. He was not afraid. But he suspected he would not exactly enjoy what was to come. For now, though, she merely used it to cut through the fabric of his shirt. She slit it neatly here and there, and then pulled it free and tossed it aside. Tynan shivered, feeling the faint, chill touch of steel against his skin and knowing what would come next.

Ildri stepped back, and for a long moment she simply looked at him, her feared tormentor, her hated enemy, her possession, helpless there before her. Then she raised the dagger and stepped in close. With the steady, strong hands of a bard, she drew the tip of the blade across his chest, leaving only the faintest of pink lines that healed almost as soon as the blade had passed. Tynan held his breath, and held very still, his only movement the faint trembling of his half opened wings, which he couldn't fold properly while pinned against the wall. She moved slowly, deliberately, the blade barely breaking skin as she traced it over and up and down, drawing abstract patterns across his chest. It was only a little bit painful, something which Tynan would have enjoyed had he not been sure it was going to get much worse, and he remained still and silent, his head tipped back against the stone wall, eyes half closed. Then she dug the blade in enough to draw blood, her next line edged with droplets of red. Tynan gasped softly, but continued to keep still as she drew patterns of tiny red beads that stayed on his skin even as the lines healed up behind the blade's path.

She took her time, tracing the painful patterns back and forth, moving slowly, and then at last she stepped it up again, pushing in harder, the blade digging in perhaps an eighth of an inch now, the red trails no longer merely droplets, but streamers of blood that trickled down his chest. He let out a whimper of pain, a shudder going through him as he fought to keep still. Movement would only end up hurting him more, he knew, but all his instincts wanted him to struggle, to pull against his restraints and try to escape the mounting pain.

Ildri continued to draw the dagger slowly across his chest, leaving red ribbons and wounds that were much slower to heal behind. She savored the soft sounds of pain he made, his whimpers every bit as satisfying as she had imagined.

Then she dug the blade in hard and drew it in a sudden, savage slash, deep enough that the tip scraped against bone across his ribs. He cried out, jerking against his restraints. She smiled, her teeth bared in a harsh grin, and went back the other way, this time with excruciating slowness, drawing a second bone-deep gash just above the first. Tynan cried out again in agony, unable to keep from trying to escape the pain, pulling at the restraints with no effect save to make the line of Ildri's cut broader and more jagged. It went on and on as she cut through his flesh a millimeter at a time, blood streaming down his chest, and the red line behind the dagger showed the white of bone as the dagger's tip grated across his ribs.

Finally she stepped back again, letting the dagger drop to her side. Tynan slumped against the wall, trembling. After a moment he looked up at her, hoping that it was over. Ildri had been calm and deliberate when she began, but she was panting now too, and a savage light in her eyes told Tynan that she wasn't done yet.

With a snarl of sudden rage she stepped in, putting her full weight behind the dagger, and drove it point first into his stomach, so hard that the point struck the stone wall behind him, the dagger buried to the hilt. He screamed, a sudden, shocking sound, and jerked against the restraints hard enough that the heavy cuffs bit into his wrists and drew blood there too. His wings thrashed ineffectively as he fought to somehow get free. He stilled then, whimpering, trying not to move, because movement only made the pain worse. Ildri's face was inches from his, the savage, nearly insane light still in her eyes, and with another snarl she started to twist the blade. He screamed again, struggling futilely, and then again and again as she continued to twist the blade in a full circle. She was panting hard, completely lost in her old hatred, and a savage glee filled her as she twisted the knife further, making Tynan scream again. Then she yanked the dagger out and paused just long enough for Tynan to think that it might be over, and then slammed it into him again, making a second wound beside the first. His scream this time was hoarse and broken, and he started to sob and plead.

"Please Mistress, please, no more. Please!"

She twisted the knife again, wringing another hoarse cry from him.

"Please! Gods... *Please* Mistress, please, no more! No more..."

Suddenly the sound of his very real pleading sank into her, and the rage drained out of her completely. She pulled the dagger free of him, and stepped back. He went limp, hanging from the restraints, still sobbing and making broken sounds of pain. "Gods," she whispered, suddenly shocked at what she had done. The bloodied dagger fell with a clatter from her hand. She quickly moved to free him, releasing the steel clips from his ankle cuffs first, then releasing his wrists, having to catch him as he fell forward from the wall. She lowered him gently to the floor and sat beside him, putting his head in her lap.

"It's over, it's okay," she said, and stroked his hair. He curled up, putting one hand over the bloody mess at his stomach, but with the other he clung to her leg, pressing himself against her, shuddering, his wings trembling in distress. "Shh, shh, it's okay, it's over, it's over." She cradled his head in her lap and stroked his hair soothingly as he trembled and shuddered, not knowing what else to do.

"Mistress," he whispered hoarsely, and clung to her tighter.

Ildri flinched to hear him say it, wondering how he could possibly still wish to be owned by her after what she had done to him. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have," she said, finding that tears were trickling down her cheeks.

"No." He took a deep breath and blew it out again in a long sigh, his shudders ceasing. "No, it's all right. It was necessary, and I'll be okay."

A burst of hysterical laugher escaped her. "You'll be okay? After that?!"

He shifted, moving to pull himself painfully into a sitting position. "Yes." He pulled his hand away from his stomach and inspected the wounds there. Another shudder went through him, and he resettled his wings and took another deep breath. "I'll heal. See?"

Ildri looked down, and where there had been a glint of bone across his rib cage, there was now a pair of half-healed scabbed lines, still raw looking, but no longer the deep gashes that had been there just minutes earlier. The two ragged holes below that, though, didn't seem any better than when she'd made them. She shook her head. "I'm still sorry. I went too far."

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door, the only sound the soundproofing spell would allow through.

They exchanged startled glances. They were supposed to have the whole night. It should be many hours yet before anybody disturbed them. Ildri got to her feet and went to the door, opening it to find Anne standing outside, looking worried.

"Is everything...all right in here?"

Ildri gave her a flat look. "You were listening, weren't you?"

"I... Er... Well, yes. You can hear what's going on in here in my office, if you need to. I don't use it very often, but you two were alone and I was worried. And then I heard..." She trailed off as Tynan walked up slowly behind Ildri, his hand pressed to his stomach.

"I'm all right, ma'am. You don't need to worry about me."

Anne's incredulous look took in his blood-streaked chest, and his by now blood-soaked hand pressed to the bloody mess of his stomach. "You're all right?"

Tynan smiled, his fangs just barely showing. "I'm a vampire, ma'am. We're notoriously hard to damage. Though I could use a little water and a washrag, I'm kind of a mess."

"I... Oh. Uhm. Well, all right." Anne looked between the two of them for a moment. "Right. Yes, there's water upstairs. But maybe Ildri can go fetch a bucket? I'm not as young as I used to be, and hauling water down those stairs is a bit much for me these days."

Ildri gave a disbelieving snort, but went willingly enough. She knew perfectly well that was only an excuse, but she was happy enough to let Anne and Tynan talk alone for a minute or two.

"Are you sure you're all right, dear?" asked Anne, still looking worried.

Tynan smiled. "I'm fine."

"You know, it's always been my policy that nobody here should ever be coerced in any way into doing something they don't enjoy. I know you feel that you owe Ildri something, but that doesn't mean you ought to let her abuse you."

Tynan shook his head. "If you were listening, then you'd know I'd be lying if I said I'd 'enjoyed' this, but... I needed it. It was my expiation, my eye for an eye. My suffering for her suffering. Hers was longer, mine more intense, that's all. I don't believe that I've actually paid my debt, but at least now I've paid something. I've suffered for my sins. That's necessary before one can repent of them and gain forgiveness." He smiled. "That's what the god of my youth used to teach. I was willing to let her have my life itself, if that would make her happy. This small suffering is nothing. And Ildri needed it too. I am selfish enough to want to be with her, but having me here was a reminder to her of all the times she'd been afraid, and felt weak. Now she knows she is stronger than I, and that she doesn't need to be afraid, or to hate me. Perhaps if we were wiser, we would have found another way for her to work out her hatred, but we're not." He sighed softly.

"If you worry about abuse, well... You came down here, all concerned, because you heard me screaming for her to stop, no doubt. But she did stop, had stopped before you knocked. She asked for my limits before we began, and she didn't push beyond the limits I gave. If I gave her rather over-generous limits, that was my fault, and not hers." He smiled then. "And I've *been* in an abusive relationship before. I know what they're like, and this isn't one."

Anne shook her head. "I suppose I'll just have to trust you two. But I hope this particular event will be a one-time thing. I appreciate a good torture fantasy, but the real thing I don't like so much, and I know enough to tell the difference. This was real."

Tynan chuckled softly. "I suppose so, yes. But no, I don't think this will happen again."

Their conversation ended there, as Ildri descended the stairs, carrying a bucket and a stack of wash cloths. "I'll leave you two to it, I suppose," said Anne. She gave Tynan one last worried glance, then shrugged and made her way back up the stairs.

Ildri smiled and stepped into the room, pulling the door closed behind her. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." She helped Tynan over to the bed, where he gingerly lowered himself and lay down. She dampened the cloth in the bucket of warm water and starting cleaning the blood off his chest. Most of the bloody trails now had unmarked skin beneath them, but the two deeper lines and the jagged puncture wounds down lower were still not fully healed. She cleaned those out with the utmost care, though Tynan twitched when the cloth went over the raw flesh. The cloth was stained, and the water turned pinkish by the time she was done, but Tynan looked much better with most of the blood gone. *Anne might not have been so horrified if I'd managed to clean him up before she saw him,* thought Ildri with a wry smile.

"And did Auntie Annie give you the speech about not staying in an abusive relationship?"

"More or less, yes," said Tynan, smiling up at her.

Ildri's expression sobered. "You really aren't obligated to stay with me if you don't want to, you know."

Tynan looked at her silently for a moment, then he carefully sat up. He slid off the bed and dropped to his knees before her, lowering his head, and said softly "There is *nothing* that I could possibly want more than to stay with you, to serve you, to make you happy, Mistress."

Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt her eyes tearing up. She placed her hand on his head, then bent and kissed the top of it. "I can't think of anything else I could possibly want either, my slave."

They stayed there for a long moment, Tynan kneeling, Ildri sitting on the bed with her hand on his head. Then she sighed softly, and lifted it. "Is there anything else I can do for you? You said you'd want to feed... What do you need?" She realized that she knew almost nothing about him. She didn't know the details of his vampirism, she didn't know his past, she didn't know his likes and dislikes, she didn't even know his last name!

"Well, blood obviously. Animal will do. I generally can get my own, Mistress, but I will at least need clean clothing so I can do so without getting stares on my way."

"Animal blood will do, you say. Does that mean human--or were-lion--blood is better?"

He hesitated a moment. "Yes Mistress."

"I see. How much do you need?"

"Well... Healing takes a lot out of me. To be completely in top shape probably a pint or two. To take the edge off and let me finish healing enough to not be in pain, about a cup, I think?"

She looked at him for a while, considering. He knew what she had to be thinking. He wasn't sure if he should be encouraging her or discouraging her, so he stayed silent. Blood sharing could be a very pleasant, and very intimate thing, but it could also be painful and difficult.

"I'm sure you can guess I am considering letting you take blood from me," said Ildri finally. "How do you feel about it?"

Tynan sighed and shook his head. "I honestly don't know, Mistress. Blood sharing is...complex. When taken from an animal blood is just food. But with a sentient it's different. There's an empathic connection that forms. We would be able to sense each other's emotions and personalities. It can be one of the most enjoyable and intimate things possible, or it can be one of the most horrible and painful things possible. It all depends on the mental states of the two involved. I think both of our mental states are a bit unstable just now, so I'm honestly not sure what it would be like."

She chuckled softly. "Unstable is probably the word, yes. But... I'm not ready to leave here and go back out into the world yet," she said. "And that's what we'd need to do to get you dressed and send you to find something. But I also don't want you suffering. You have suffered enough, more than enough, tonight."

"It's not that bad, Mistress."

She snorted. "I don't think I believe you."

He smiled up at her. "Well... Then I'll say I've felt worse. I'll be all right."

She sighed. "And I'll be feeling guilty and fretting as long as you're still in pain. We've been risky already tonight, I think we could risk this too."

"Yes Mistress," he said, and found that he was not at all unhappy with her decision.

"How should we do this?" she asked.

"Well... I should probably take from your wrist. Neck biting is generally for more...intimate circumstances. You can use your dagger and make a shallow cut there, or I can do it with my teeth. I am quite good at being relatively painless, so it shouldn't hurt you, Mistress."

"And there's no physical danger involved? You said you would need quite a lot, ideally."

Tynan shook his head. "No, Mistress. I have no troubles with *that* kind of self-control. I won't take enough to hurt you. You shouldn't even feel light-headed or anything."

"No troubles with 'that' kind of self-control? That implies you have troubles with some other kind."

Tynan flushed.

"And what kind would that be?"

He blushed more deeply. "I... You are very beautiful, Mistress. I want to please you, and I would never... But... You are very beautiful." He looked down at her feet.

She stroked his hair, unable to keep from smiling. "See that you don't. Although I don't think you could." She glanced down at where the heavy cuffs, bloodstained now, still circled his wrists.

He shivered at the reminder. "No Mistress."

"Good boy. Well, let's go ahead and help you heal, then. You can use your own teeth." She held out her wrist to him.

"Thank you Mistress." He took her wrist in his hands, glanced up at her, then bent his head and bit down. His teeth cut in cleanly, quickly. Ildri gasped at the double pinprick of pain. But the pain immediately faded away as other sensations flooded into her. The first thing she was aware of was calm. A deep calm, like a still pool. Other emotions might flicker across the surface, but the calm foundation was always there beneath. But then she became aware of something deeper. Underlying the peaceful calm was sadness. An ocean of sorrow and regret. *Because of me,* she thought, suddenly feeling more guilty than ever. *He feels that because of what he did to me. I didn't need to punish him for it, he's punished himself more than I ever could.* Then she became aware of his pain and her guilt increased. He was suppressing it, but it sparked and flared through him despite all he could do.

Ildri's emotions washed over Tynan as he fed. He could remember, though it had been well over a century, what that other, his first love, had been like, and she was very different. At her core was determination. A hardness and toughness that came from hardship. His first love had had a gentler life. *Gentler! Anything at all would be gentler than getting kidnapped, mind-raped, and then thrown across reality to try and make your way home when you didn't even know where home was or if it was possible to get there! I'm sorry,* he thought again, the old sorrow welling up in him. *Sorry a million times, however inadequate my sorrow may be.* But as he continued to slowly feed, and their connection deepened, he sensed her other emotions. Guilt was foremost of them. Guilt, no doubt, over what she'd just done to him. She didn't need to feel guilty, he knew. He was glad that it had been done, he had needed the catharsis as much as she had, perhaps more. So he reached out to her, projecting his own feelings. He called up the memory of her hand on his head, her praise, and his pleasure at it. He called up also his love, though he hesitated now to use the word after how he had misused it, and his devotion to her, and kept them foremost in his mind, letting her know that she had no reason to be guilty.

She felt it, felt how deeply and utterly he cared for her, and for a moment she felt a flicker of her old fear, the confused terror at this stranger who said he loved her, who followed her, would not leave her alone, seemed to be obsessed with her, but that was gone as soon as it came. She had long ago left fear behind and now, feeling how utterly he cared for her, her guilt faded to be replaced by a kind of wonder. This was not obsession, it was real love, the kind of love would be offered regardless of whether she returned it or not. He would be content, even happy, to merely serve her, as he did now, forever, and get nothing in return but an occasional kind word. And he really was telling the truth when he said he didn't mind what she had just done to him. The pain was already fading as he fed, and there was no resentment, no sense of trauma or anguish, only that desire to serve, that joy at her touch, her praise.

He lifted his head, and tenderly kissed the two tiny puncture marks on her wrist. She looked down at him, still feeling their connection, still feeling wonder at what she sensed, and she knew, suddenly, that he was stronger than she, not physically, but emotionally. She might command him, but it was only because he wanted it so. And yet he wanted it so because it pleased her... The thought circled around in her head, and she wondered for a moment if she really wanted this. She had him collared and chained, but she had a real sense now of his age, his experience, his depth, and knew that she could never keep him if he decided to leave, or stop him if he decided to harm her.

But he lowered his head again, leaning it against her leg, and with a sense of release, of final decision, she placed her hand on his head. She could feel it, the warm glow of his pleasure, his joy, at merely being allowed to touch her, at being reminded he belonged to her, and she felt that she had done the right thing. "Thank you Mistress," he said softly, with a contented sigh.

She stroked his hair, and the feeling of his pleasure grew even stronger. "This is how you've always felt about me?" she asked.

She felt another wash of that deep sorrow. "No Mistress. When I first met you I was selfish. There was...another person, long ago, who was very much like you. I... You were so like her that I thought..." He sighed. "I thought we were destined to love, and that if I could just somehow make you see that we belonged together, it would all work out. I was thinking only of me, of what I wanted. I assumed that you would be happy once you understood. I was foolish, and selfish."

"Who was she, the other person?"

He shrugged. "I don't know if it matters. She was, well...you. You know there are infinite worlds, infinite variations on them. She was Ildri Pyre from a different world, with a different past."

"And she loved you?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"What happened then, that you went looking for another version of her?"

"There was another..." He shook his head. "The first woman I loved was...not like you at all. She was, I suppose, your exact opposite. Evil. She did things like this," his glance took in the nearly healed scars on his stomach, the room, the bloodstained cuffs, "for no better reason than she thought it would be fun, and would feel no guilt about it after. I said I have felt worse than this before. She was...not kind to me. But then I was not kind to her either." He shook his head. "And because of some of the things we did, the games we played, those that we preyed on summoned two heroes, to try and deal with us. Yet they were... I don't know. He was a mage, and an avian. He was everything I could have been, but wasn't strong enough to be. And she..." There was a very long pause. "She felt sorry for me, I think. I took advantage of that. I did a horrible, selfish thing to her, and she forgave me, loved me anyhow. But she loved him more, and he was certainly more deserving of her love. So they left, together, as they had come. And I... I couldn't stay with...that other, any more. I had changed, but she had refused to change. So I left, and was alone. There was a girl, for a while, and we had a sort of love, but she was only human, and never really liked or understood my vampirism, and she died eventually. And my daughter..." He paused for a long time, then finally said, "She died too. So I was alone. I kept remembering *her*, what it had felt like to know she loved me, and I was so alone, so... I went looking. I looked for a very long time, and then I found you. But I hadn't really changed as much as I thought. I had been being good mostly because I had no reason to do anything evil, not really because I was a good person. I was better than I had been, I didn't take pleasure in the pain of others the way I once did, and I enjoyed helping people, but only because it made me feel good to do so. I was still selfish, thinking only of my own wants, and not of others', of yours." He heaved another deep sigh. "And you know what happened then."

"Yes..." The single word trailed off into a long silence. She could still feel the connection, had felt the jumble of his emotions as he talked about his past. Guilt, pain, regret, grief, longing, loneliness, all tumbling over each other. And she realized that she too felt sorry for him.

He shuddered as he felt her sorrow, and tears began trickling down his cheeks.

"Oh!" The soft sound was almost a gasp of pain. "Oh, don't cry..." She slid down off the bed to kneel beside him, put her arms around him. "It's okay, don't..."

She held him tightly, and he clung to her, still crying. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Ildri, Mistress. So sorry..."

"Oh, Tynan." She held him tighter, and he buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed.

Eventually he cried himself out. The bond between them was starting to fade, but Ildri could feel, faintly, the peace that comes after a moment of catharsis. He sat back and wiped at his eyes, then smiled at her. "Thank you, Mistress."

She smiled back. "Are you really sure that you want to stay my slave? I asked you to because I wanted revenge, but... I don't any more."

Tynan lifted his hand to the band of steel around his throat. "We would have to go to a very great deal of trouble to get this removed, Mistress, particularly given that there are no other Grand Masters that I know of in the city. I knew that when I made it for you, and let you put it on me. I am committed to this, to belonging to you, for as long as you wish to have me."

"I do wish to have you," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry of my asking makes you think otherwise. I just still feel a little bit guilty, I guess."

He shook his head. "You really don't need to, Mistress." Then he smiled. "I'll keep telling you that until you believe it. I know you feel that you did something terrible to me, and are probably thinking that your actions weren't just or necessary. But I needed this, Mistress. I needed it even more than you did, I think. I can't even express... For so many years I have regretted what I did, and felt guilty for it, and been unable to forgive myself, or to even think of asking you to forgive me. Why do you think I was willing to let you kill me, back on that other world? I needed to suffer for my sins. The old priests knew that. Suffering allows one to be free, to feel expiation, redemption, justice. And then forgiveness is possible."

She hugged him again. "I do forgive you. I think I understand, a little, why you did it, and in any case it's long since past, over and done with. It's time for both of us to move on with our lives."

Tears gathered in his eyes again as he looked at her. "Thank you," he said, almost whispering. She smiled, and didn't correct him for leaving off the "Mistress" this once.

After he had blinked the tears from his eyes, and was looking calmer, she said "So what now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, Mistress. Do you mean tonight, or...?"

"Both, I guess. I... I can forgive you, and even trust you and care for you, but I don't think I could...could love you." She shook her head. "It's too much, too soon. I need to get used to things the way they are, be sure of myself, be sure of you..."

Tynan nodded and smiled. "I understand Mistress. And I don't mind. Love isn't really what I need, I just...need to know you're happy, that's all."

She shook her head, still amazed at how he could be so content with so little from her. "For tonight..." She considered. "You know I don't even know what your last name is! Maybe we should just talk, get to know each other."

He chuckled. "It's 'Grayson', Mistress. Though some people have called me 'Darkangel.'"

That startled a giggle out of her. "That's rather melodramatic, isn't it?"

He grinned. "*I'm* rather melodramatic sometimes." He looked over at her and added, "Maybe you should get back on the bed, Mistress? The floor is cold, you can't possibly be comfortable."

She stood, and stretched, suddenly feeling the cumulative impact of everything that had happened tonight as a physical thing. She felt shocky and light-headed, in a way that had nothing to do with Tynan's feeding. She shook herself and sat down on the bed. Tynan scooted in close and leaned his head on her leg again. "You just said the floor is cold," she said. "Are you going to spend all night sitting down there anyway?"

He shrugged. "I don't feel the cold."

She chuckled. "And your subby self likes sitting at my feet, no doubt. But if we're going to be talking the night away, you should come sit next to me, here." She patted the bed by her side. He smiled and gave in, standing, stretching as she had, his wings spreading wide. She blinked at the full span of them. She'd never seen them spread before. All avians had impressive wings, but his were very large for his small size. Each wing alone was longer than he was tall. They touched the walls of the room, and it wasn't a particularly small room. He folded them in again, though not quite all the way, and sat down beside her with his feathers trailing across the bed behind him.

"So where do we start?" Ildri asked.

Tynan shrugged. "I don't know. I, uh...probably know too much about you." He reddened. "Creepy stalker tendencies and all. What do you want to know about me?"

"Everything!" She laughed. "But... I guess tell me about where you were born, where you grew up. How did you become a vampire? You must have been very young when it happened..."

He smiled. "I actually think I was born in that desert world we were last in. I'm not sure. If not there, then a reality very, very close to there. But...a long time before. Before there were vampires there, when there was high technology. I recognized places I had been as a child in the ruins there. It was sad, seeing it like that. I'd never really thought I'd go home again, but I'd imagined that if I did, it would be pretty much the same. I suppose after how long it had been I should have known better." He shrugged.

"Anyhow... I grew up surrounded by everything I could ever want, in a prosperous world, at a prosperous time, in a prosperous country. I was more than a little spoiled. But I didn't know it. All I could think was that my life was boring. I wanted more. And then I got it. I was pulled out of the world by what I think now must have been a storm of wild magic, torn away from my easy life, from my family, from everything I'd known. Only the 'here' that I came to was a place sort of...at an angle to this place. It was very much the same, but a lot of things here were reversed there. The Eternal Queen was a tyrant, for one. She ruled half the continent by terror, but there were places in her good graces where things were fairly pleasant. Aerievale was one such. I found myself there, and found that I had a gift." He held out one hand, and blue fire flickered around his fingers. He smiled. "I found I could do magic! I'd always wanted something like that, something to make me powerful, different, better than everybody else. I was a very shallow person in those days. But then I was only fourteen. Teenagers often are. I got an apprenticeship, began learning. I was good. One of the best. But... Just as the endless plenty of my home had bored me, magic began to bore me. I was nineteen when I met...her."

"The evil woman you loved?"

He nodded. "Yes. I was bored, and she was...fascinating. She caught me like a fish on a hook, and reeled me in expertly. She taught me the pleasure that can come from the pain of others, she helped me learn the forbidden magics, that I had always resented being barred from. She twisted me, and nearly broke me too, I think. And it wasn't just teaching me, she also liked to play with me." A little shiver went through him. "I had...made the mistake of making her something like this." He touched his collar. "She used it against me, used it to keep me helpless while she played with me. She enjoyed giving me hope too. She'd let me loose, tell me she'd changed her mind, that she wasn't going to torture me any more, that she wanted me by her side, and then she'd start up some new sick game, and I played along with those games willingly enough. It was during that time that I became a vampire." He laughed then, a short, sharp bark. "I shouldn't say 'became', as if it just happened. No. I went out and deliberately infected myself with it, killed myself so I could come back. I thought it would give me an edge over her, but it just gave her another way to manipulate me." He shrugged. "I told you what happened next. I was forced to see what I could have been, what I'd thrown away by letting myself be twisted like that. I changed a lot then. But not enough."

Ildri put her hand over his. "That's in the past now though."

He smiled at her. "Yes."

Suddenly Ildri yawned. "I'm tired. I'd planned to stay up late talking, but I think I'm all done." She started removing her boots.

Tynan smiled over at her. "And where shall I sleep tonight, Mistress?"

She chuckled. "Well, I think this bed is quite big enough. Sleep at my feet, my slave." Her expression turned regretful and she added, "A lot has changed between us tonight, but..." She shrugged. "I'm not quite ready for anything intimate, even so small as sleeping next to each other. It would be too strange. Too much, too soon."

"That's all right, Mistress." He pulled off his own boots. He eyed his bloodied trousers, and with a shrug he peeled them off as well. There was an extra blanket folded over the foot of the big bed. He picked it up, and curled up under it, wings tucked in tight.

Ildri walked over and blew out the lamp that lit the underground room. Then she crawled under the covers, and settled herself in, finding that Tynan was in just the right spot to warm her feet. She smiled. "Goodnight, Tynan."

"Goodnight, Mistress."