My Great Big Brother- "DON'T. TOUCH. MY STEREO."
Disclaimer: Don't read this if you are underage, meaning if you are under 18 SHOO! NOW. And I know you aren't gonna listen because I did the same thing when I was 16. Sigh, so just make sure you lock the damn door so your parents don't catch you, a'ight? All characters are mine. Also, this story contains Incest in it. For the record, I don't condone it and sure as hell don't recommend it. So listen up kiddies and don't try to bang your sis. Got it? If not, your ass is grass and your dad's foot is a lawn mower. Oh, and any copyrighted names I used belong to their respective owners and I was not paid to use them. Go Steelers! And also Go Gators even though I don't go to that school. =)
May 29th 12:58 P.M. EST - Kyle's Room
"Holy shit!" exclaimed a Black Arrow mercenary as the lights in the room suddenly went out and he was plunged into darkness. A second later a 5.7x28mm bullet connected with his skull and he fell dead to the floor.
"Do they always talk like that?" Katie asked as she lied next to Kyle on his bed, watching him play a rousing game of Splinter Cell Conviction.
"Yeah, they do. It gets kinda repetitive, but I guess I've just learned to ignore it," Kyle replied.
Katie nodded and continued to watch Kyle play. She hadn't liked Modern Warfare 2 that much, but she had played it with him just so she had an excuse to be near him. However, now that their relationship was known to their parents, she just lied next to Kyle and tried to enjoy watching him play. Only it was very hard to enjoy watching him since the enemies in Splinter Cell Conviction uttered profanities every five seconds, usually after Kyle shot out the lights in a room or they found a dead body. Kyle had offered to play split screen co-op with Katie, but she declined since this game wasn't very appealing to her.
Still, it wasn't all bad. Kyle was happy to just be able to cuddle with his sister, although after having been caught earlier that day he was pretty sure he wouldn't being doing anything more than that. John and Eliza had still gone to Lowe's, but they left Shelly behind to keep an eye on them. That meant Kyle had to keep his door open, and Shelly had to stay upstairs and play lookout. Needless to say, neither sibling was happy with this arrangement. After all, Kyle craved yiff, and Shelly craved to go hang out with her friends at the mall.
Feeling the mood was a little dull at the moment, Kyle leaned to his left and turned on his stereo. A few seconds later "Where Eagles Dare" came playing through the speakers at a blaring volume, as usual. Even though the song didn't really fit with Splinter Cell's atmosphere, it was Kyle's favorite metal song and that was all the reason he needed to play it. And of course, the fact that Shelly could hear it was all the reason she needed to leave her room and walk into Kyle's to demand that he turn down the music. Just as the guitar solo hit its peak, Shelly walked in as expected and began yelling for Kyle to turn it down.
"What? I can't hear you!" he shouted back over the combined sounds of music and gunfire.
"TURN DOWN THE MUSIC! If you don't I'm gonna call dad and he'll be home in like ten minutes," Shelly shouted a second time.
Kyle paused his game, and then reached over and paused the music. "Okay, first of all I can play my music as loud as I want so long as mom and dad aren't home and Katie is wearing the earplugs I got her," he said with a smug grin while patting next to Katie's ears to show that she was indeed wearing a pair of orange rubber earplugs. "Second, I know you won't call dad for a number of reasons."
Shelly folded her arms across her chest and snootily replied, "Oh yeah? And what reasons would those be?"
"One," Kyle said while holding up one finger, "I know you're bluffing. Two," he said while putting up a second finger, "Even if you did call, Katie and I haven't done anything so you'd just be grounded for lying. And three," he said while leaning over to his left, "I have a gun." With that he rose back up and revealed he was now holding his standard issue Berreta M92 pistol that he'd sneaked back from Afghanistan. He then pointed it at Shelly and cocked back the hammer. "So I suggest you leave. Now."
"Oh my god!" Shelly shouted while twisting around and falling to the floor, scrambling to get out of his room in a mad panic.
Kyle just laughed and then pulled the trigger to reveal the gun had no ammunition in it.
"That was kinda mean," Katie said looking over at Kyle.
"I know, but I just had to do that to get back at her. I mean if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have had your dad stomping me in the nuts," he replied. "Besides, you know I wouldn't do anything to really hurt her, right?"
Katie playfully rolled her eyes and said, "Sometimes I wonder."
"Dad! Kyle tried to kill me!" Shelly exclaimed into her cell phone as she called John.
"What?! How?" John replied, panic surging through him.
"He pulled out his gun he brought back and tried to shoot me with it!"
At this point John stopped panicking. He knew Kyle had illegally brought home his M92, and had agreed not to tell Kyle's superiors on the condition that Kyle give up all his ammo. "Shelly, I know all about his gun. I took all the bullets away from him; he was just messing with you."
"Say what? He doesn't have any bullets?" Shelly asked in disbelief.
"Yes. Now I don't know what you two were fighting about..."
"His stereo," Shelly interrupted.
"Err, right. That sounds like something you two would argue over. But yes, there's nothing to worry about. He can't shoot you."
"Okay. Thanks daddy, I'm gonna go back and make sure they're not doing anything."
With that, Shelly hung up and went back to Kyle's room, as he had unpaused his stereo and "Where Eagles Dare" continued to pour out of the speakers.
Shelly simply marched in without a word and walked over to Kyle's stereo to unplug it. However, just as she reached for the power cord she heard the click of the M92's hammer as Kyle cocked it back.
"Shelly, if you so much as touch that cable, it'll be the last thing you ever lay your paws on," Kyle said in a overly serious monotone.
"Ha ha, very funny Kyle. Dad already told me he has all your bullets, so I know you're just bluffing with that gun," Shelly smugly replied.
"You wanna bet?" Kyle said as he more carefully aimed down the sight and brought Shelly's face into view.
"Go ahead, I know it's empty."
"Okay, one sec. Katie, cover your ears please," Kyle calmly asked his mate. Then, once Katie had both paws over her ears he brought the gun up, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger.
BLAM!
Shelly hit the floor in panic. "OH MY GOD!" Two seconds later she was sprawling out the door on her hands and knees. However, as she was halfway back to her room she heard both Kyle and Katie bawling with laughter. Growing incredibly angry, she walked back and shouted, "What the hell was that! You almost kill me and you're laughing?!?"
Kyle tried to regain his composure, and after a few seconds he managed to say, "Shelly, I gotta tell you that was priceless. Oh my god hahahahaha!"
"You selfish SOB! How can you just sit there laughing at me after you almost shot me!?" Shelly fired back.
"Because...because that wasn't a gunshot. I just taped a firecracker to the side of my bed and lit it with a BIC lighter when you weren't looking. Oh man, I wish I'd videotaped that so I could put it on YouTube or Break.com or something."
Shelly looked over at Katie who was still stifling her laughter. "Katie, you knew about this?"
"Haha, sorry sis, but that's what you get for borrowing my iPod and not recharging the battery when you're done working out," Katie pleasantly replied.
Shelly rolled her eyes and then said, "Oh yeah, veeeeeeerrrryyyy funny guys. But you know what? You're outta tricks now, and I'm unplugging this freaking stereo!"
Just then Kyle's favorite tactical knife-the one he stole from the sniper who shot him-landed in the wall a foot from Shelly's head. "EEP!" she gasped as she fell backwards and just stared at the blade.
"Kyle!" Katie gasped in shock at what had just happened.
"What," he replied, "I didn't hit her." Both of his sisters just glared at him. "What? I wasn't trying to hit her...even though I was technically aiming for her." Katie just rolled her eyes while Shelly's expression was the facial equivalent to giving him the middle finger. "Let this be a lesson to you Shelly; DON'T TOUCH MY STEREO, or next time I'll aim for the wall and hit you instead."
"Pff, yeah right," Shelly replied. "With skills like that it's a miracle you even got back here in one piece." With that she unplugged the stereo. Kyle's ears went flat across his head.
"And it's gonna take a miracle for the police to identify you after I'm done beating your face in! C'mere!" Kyle then leapt off the bed and proceeded to chase Shelly out of his room. Even though she was small, she was also quite quick and was able to make it back to her room and lock the door before Kyle could reach her. Kyle simply stood outside Shelly's room, smiling to himself as he then walked back to his room and locked his door as well.
"Got your earplugs sis?" he asked Katie. She nodded happily.
And with that, Kyle plugged his stereo back in and cranked up the volume. Deciding to go with something lighter than metal, he chose Eddie Money's "Two Ticket's To Paradise," as it was both a good song and a soundtrack in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas-one of his favorite games of all time. A few seconds later the opening notes began playing and the whole house shook each time a bass note hit. Shelly opened her door and peered angrily into the hall. Why that little...!
Shelly charged down the hall and tried to open Kyle's door, only to find that it was locked. "KYLE! OPEN THIS DOOR!" Kyle just laughed to himself as he resumed his game of Splinter Cell and went back to beating the crap out of terrorists in the dark.
Katie tapped Kyle on the shoulder and said, "What if tries to shut off the circuit breaker like last time?"
"Don't worry sis, I took care of that little problem," Kyle replied with a wink.
Meanwhile in the garage, Shelly was on the verge of opening the circuit breaker when she noticed a sign hanging from it that read, WARNING: OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK. Yeah right, Shelly thought to herself. However, when she touched the metal door to the breaker, she felt a painful zap and quickly pulled her paw away as she realized she'd just received and electric shock. "OW! What in the hell...how'd he do that?" Shelly asked herself while rapidly shaking her paw to get the feeling to return. Dejectedly, she returned to Kyle's room and politely knocked on the door. Kyle answered it a few seconds later.
"Yes?"
"Fine. You win Kyle. Just please turn down the music and I'll quit trying to unplug it," Shelly solemnly asked.
"You got shocked trying to hit the circuit breaker didn't you?" Kyle snickered. "Very well, I'll turn it down to a dull roar since you asked so nicely. Just remember, I can do all sorts of things to keep you from turning off my stereo, so if I were you, I'd learn from this whole experience."
"I'm learning right now that my sister is in love with a deranged sociopath who happens to be her step-brother," Shelly angrily muttered back.
Kyle just laughed and shut the door as he walked over to his stereo and turned down the music to where Katie almost didn't need earplugs.
"Kyle, how did you booby trap the circuit breaker anyway?" Katie curiously inquired.
"I took one of my 9.6 volt airsoft gun batteries that put out 1200 mAh [milliamps per hour] and wired it to the metal latch so that if she tried to touch it she'd get tazed. A neat little trick I picked up from one of my friends who had a problem with his older brother stealing his Cokes out of his mini-fridge."
Katie giggled at this as Kyle lied back down next to her and gave her a quick kiss on the muzzle. She knew today wouldn't be very exciting, but for the moment she was happy because everything had returned to normal...at least, by the Blackmon family's standards.