FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Mela woke and stretched an arm across the bed to find herself alone. Not uncommon, but they had gone to bed together and Niv usually slept longer. His pillow was missing too. She squinted at the clock, blinking a few times to clear the fuzziness in her vision. 5:17AM. Might as well get up, she thought. She stood up, stretched and yawned, her fingers flirting with the ceiling. She sat back down on the edge of the bed and felt around the floor for her pants. All she found was her underwear, but she shrugged and pulled them on anyway.

She carefully made her way downstairs, having grabbed her phone to light the way, but as she reached the landing she noticed there were no lights on. Not in the living room, the kitchen, or even back yard, all of which she'd have a clear line of sight through had they been lit. As she walked through to the kitchen, no light filtered in from the adjacent rooms either.

She flicked on one of the smaller kitchen lights, squinting and blinking as her vision adjusted. She set her phone on the counter and poked her head into each room.

"Niv?" She called softly, her brow furrowing when there was only silence. "Where are you?" She asked herself, concerned. Just as she passed the back door, a small flicker of light jumped in her peripheral. Her head swiveled, eyes locked on the spot, now lost in the dark blanket of black that was the early morning. It was right about where the workshop should be. She grabbed her phone again and set out through the yard. The door was unlocked when she tried the handle, which was affirmation enough.

Though not at the opposite side, the little shed where Niv worked was still a good distance away. Far enough for the clanking and banging not to reach the house. She tapped gently on the door as she opened it a crack

"Niv, honey? Are you in here?" Mela called into the dark. Listening for a reply, she heard a muffled humming and sniffle coming from a corner. She stepped into the little shop, brow furrowed as she looked in the direction of the sound. She flicked on the light. Curled on a bench in the corner, Niv sat with his headphones on, the loud music muffled as it hummed rhythmically into his head.

It was the briefest moment before he opened his eyes, but it was long enough to see. His eyes were shut hard, the corners of his mouth down-turned. The small twitches of a person concentrating, fighting hard not to cry. It evaporated the instant his gaze rested on her. All of it that he could hide, he tried his damnedest to. He sat up, took off his headphones and tried to look expectant, but his eyes were too red and too wet. He watched that stern, searching expression soften into concern and understanding. That face that said "You poor thing". The façade dissolved.

They locked eyes. He wanted to make an excuse. He wanted to brush it off with a joke. He wanted to pretend this hadn't just happened. He knew it was too late to try. Those eyes pierced him with knowing. His gaze dropped slowly to the floor, his eyes welling up as he slouched into his seat.

Mela quietly padded over, sitting next to him without a word. She placed a hand on his, both resting on his lap, gently rubbing with her fingers. He sniffled and wiped his nose with his other hand.

"I'm sorry." Niv said as calmly as he could manage, but his voice was weak and quavering.

"Sshhhh. It's okay." Mela said gently pulling him close.

"I'm sorry."