FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Admin called you in to his office today for an experiment. You were pretty excited - Admin office time was rare, highly saught after, and almost always a lot of fun. You waited eagerly outside his office, lacking the clearance to get in meaning you had to wait to be allowed entrance.

Finally, the door slid smoothly open and Dr. Nex, the Administrator of Nex-Vinyl Labs, smiled and beckoned you inside. You happily trotted in after him, and he gestured for you to take a seat in the middle of the room, on an ominous-looking chair. You did so, and the second your arms and legs were in place, tight restraints clicked around your wrists and ankles. You flinched, looking down at your wrists in surprise. When you looked into up at Admin, the neck restraint also clicked into place, and you were completely bound.

The entire time, synth doctor was leaning over a desk, carefully turning a screw into a machine shaped like an orb.

"Uhm." You said, and he flicked his tail slightly and lifted a finger.

"One moment, Subject." He beeped. You waited patiently as he lifted the orb, inspecting it and giving it a shake to (presumably) test the integrity of the thing. He turned and nearly dropped it as he saw you in full restraints, quickly setting it down behind him and hurrying to the chair's control panel.

You sat patiently, giving him a reassuring smile as he pushed a few buttons and got a small error sound from the chair. You smile faded a little bit. Just a little bit!

"It seems... you are behind on your experiment quota." Admin said.

"Experiment quota?" You repeated.

The Administrator nodded.

"But- do we even have quotas?" You asked, a little concerned.

"Nope! That's why this is so odd!" He said, returning to his desk and opening a drawer.

"Oh! Okay." You said, at first relieved that you weren't unaware of something so important and then once again concerned that you were strapped into a chair that seemed to thnk otherwise.

"Okay!" Dr. Nex said, lifting a screwdriver triumphantly and stomping back over to the chair's control panel, which he screwed open to reveal... another control panel.

He noticed your raised eyebrow and smiled sheepishly up at you. "It's the advanced panel." He explained, before you could ask. "I don't usually need it."

He booped and beeped a few buttons. The chair buzzed, seemingly upset, in reply. Admin frowned, swishing his tail up behind him.

"The chair wants you to conduct a few experiments." He said, clapping his hands together. "So we'll just do that, before we get to the main event!" He said, lifting his tail and swapping it to a needle. "Are you afraid of needles?"

You shook your head, but mumbled that they did make you nervous.

"That's fine!" He said, pacing around behind you so you couldn't see it coming. You felt a little prick on your shoulder, and then a rush of warmth. Were it not for the neck restraint, you would have fallen completely forward, your mouth hanging open and beginning to drool heavily as your your senses being completely reshaped into pure pleasure. You could hear him talking to you, but he sounded far away - distant, unimportant.

Another little pinprick, and suddenly everything was back to normal, except the lights of lab seemed much brighter, more harsh. You squinted and looked down and away, blinking and squirming in discomfort.

"Feel alright?" The Admin asked you, and you nodded meekly.

"Lights are really bright." You mumbled, only noticing just now that your tongue is numb. "My tongue is numb." You added.

"Light sensitivity. Numbness of the tongue." Nex repeated, makign a note of it on his PDA. "And, the first injection, you weren't responding to my speech, why is that?" He asked, pulling a slider down on his PDA to dim the lights so you could look up at him comfortably, and you did so. In the dim lighting of the lab, practically all you could see was the glowing of his face display. It was a little eerie.

"Uhm." You began, trying to explain the feeling. "Your words felt, uhh.. unimportant, I guess? Not like - because they were from you, just like... it seemed like they weren't directed at me, almost."

"Nice!!" He said, writing that down carefully. Probably verbatim, given how long it took for him to write it all down. "Okay!" He said, marking you down for two more experiments and then pressing the release button on the chair again. No dice.

"Hmm. Oh!" He said, trotting past you to grab a helmet from a shelf, and placing it carefully on your head and adjusting it for comfort. He gently grabbed your chin to make you look straight ahead, dimming the lights a bit more for your comfort as he made sure it was on straight. "Okay!" He said, pushing a button and causing you to jolt as the helmet came online.

"Okay, seems to be working! How do you feel?" He asked you, leaning in close to monitor your facial expressions.

"Ddo yrev." You replied, then blinked twice. "Yllamron kaeps ot elba eb I dluohs...?" You said, a little concerned.

"Yes!" Admin replied, switching the helmet off. "I guess that one still has a few bugs." He said, making a note of it.

"Oh. Okay." You said, mostly just to test if you were back to being able to speak forwards. You were! Which was a relief.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Admin said, running excitedly over to a little metal ring he had hanging on a hook. He pulled the helmet off your head and gently set it on the floor next to him, setting the ring in its place. He flipped a switch on the side of it, and it began to hum and vibrate slightly.

"Now! I want you to try to just focus on how many arms you have." He said, watching you with much anticipation. "Four, right?"

"Yeah." You replied. "Four."

He smiled and swished his tail excitedly. "And - And - How many eyes?"

"Two." You said.

"No! Four!" He replied.

"Right! Four." You said, nodding along. He was grinning so wide it made you a little nervous.

"And your name! What's your name?"

"Anon." You replied.

"Actually! It's Nexisgreat!" He said, giggling with excitement.

"Yeah?" You said. "What about it?" Sure, it was a bit of a coincidence, being named "Nexisgreat" and working for "Doctor Nex" but you didn't think it was THAT far fetched. Admin seemed to think it was hilarious, though, until he centered himself and took a deep breath. Without another word, he switched the little metal halo off, and you felt suddenly very dizzy.

"How many arms and eyes do you have?" He asked you.

"Wh-Wha?" You asked, causing him to be a look slightly concerned, his face still being the only thing you could really make out with the lights so low.

"Feeling okay?" He asked, looking slightly guilty at his eagerness to write down everything you were about to say.

"Dizzy." You replied. "Really dizzy."

"That's normal - probably, anyway. Can you focus on your arms? How many arms do you have?" He asked you again, with some more urgency.

"F-... Two." You said. You almost said four. You were so sure you had four! Why did you think that?"

"Eyes?"

"Two." You said, though you were also somewhat surprised by that.

"And your name?" He said, though he sounded much less concerned now.

"Nexisgreat." You said, nodding slightly in your neck restraint.

"...Are you sure?" He said, back to looking concerned.

"...Yes?" You said, also concerned. Why wouldn't you know your own name?

Without explaining, he flipped the device back on and explained to you very carefully that your name was actually "Anon". Which you thought was really strange. Like, obviously you knew that. Why wouldn't you know your own name?

One more wave of dizziness later, and he ran you through the questions one more time, just to be sure. Satisfied, he wrote it all on the report, and the chair restraints clicked open.

"Oh!" He said, sliding his PDA back onto his belt and carefully lifting you to a standing position. "I guess that's all you were behind on! Don't worry, I'll have that patched out before anyone else gets locked in here. Thank you so much for being such a good subject!" He said, walking you to the door. He held you firmly, making sure you didn't trip over anything and that you were steady, all the way out the door.

"Until next time, Doctor Nex." You said, as he gingerly let go of you, tensed and ready to grab you if you started to fall again.

"Until next time!!" He sang back to you.

Just like that, you were on your way, turning around to wave at him as you shuffled back to your office, feeling like you could really use a nap.

Dr. Nex sighed contentedly, turning the lights back up and turning around, only to freeze, eyes fixed on the orb-shaped machine, the entire point he'd called you in that day, sitting just where he'd left it.