If I only could make that deal
A/N: Alright. This was just.. Something I came up with while waiting in the plasma donation clinic a while back. Yes, it's a short story. That's because I wrote it on my iPod. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to write novels on that god damn thing? x.X; I was listening to Placebo's Running Up That Hill while I wrote this because it suits the relationship Vincent and his guardian angel share. This is human form stuff, by the way
If I could only make that deal
Vincent's Point Of View:
I sat alone. Well I wasn't really alone. There were loads of people of different races, heights and weights. So many people. I watched them all. But I was still alone. I knew none of them, nor did I really want to. They were all different in their own way. Some were gangsters, others were goth. Then there were the regular looking people, but you and I both know none of the people here are normal.
I was the only one that wasn't human. Oh what I would do to be human. To not know of the trials and failures of the other realm. I was... Not human. I have never been human. Though I used to think I was when I was little. But I knew I was different in my family and small collection of friends. But everything awoke when I was in third grade. There was an angel in my mind that shared housing with me and I didn't even know it! The idea of sharing thoughts and memories with someone so... Glorious was intimidating. But he wasn't a good guy. He was anything but. In my dreams he told me of what crimes he had committed in his past lives and in this other realm. But I never remembered them. I never even remembered he existed. I did, however, remember the black outs I had frequently. I would be bullied one moment, then the next I would come to and be at home.
Upon being older and knowin of his existance, however, I would always try to make a deal with him. To me, it was like making a deal with someone who was like a god. Someone who could not die as long as he stayed safely tucked away in my thinking space. He smelled of rain and wind, had short blue hair and these intimidating yet calming silver eyes. I would try to convince him to trade me places. He was my god. My haven that helped me deal with problems after Josh died. Xavier was the voice in the back of my head that told me what to do and what to say. He kept me safe.
Xavier had large black angelic wings, tattoos and piercings. He was a rather neutral person unless his path was crossed incorrectly. I knew not to anger him. He knew of the demon that waited dorment in my inner mind. He knew not to cross hairs. As I became more aware of who I really was, I started meeting others in my mind. None impacted me like Xavier though. They all were different. An angel woman named Charin. A vampire fox male named Krystofer. Twin wolf demons named Asamire and Alectan. Xavier's brother Christopher... I grew fond with all of them. But I really only trusted Xavier.
I started to realize why I trusted him. This angel was my guardian. My own protector. But I still wanted to make that deal. Xavier would cradle me in my mind when my problems were overpowering. He would whisper sweet nothings to me, as if the two of us were lovers in the most romantic relationship possible. I was happy to have him and from the looks of it, he was happy to have me. I started to get friends in highschool an as of now, a few of them are the best things that have happened to me. I loved them all, but only trusted a few of them. Nathan, Rose, Leon, Krys... They all seemed, an still seem, to care.
When Xavier was slain by a grim, Nate and Rose were there to give me comfort. So I had a shoulder to cry on.. I ended up only sleeping a couple of hours the night Kristoph showed me Xavier died. I laid between Nathan and Rose and stared at the wall, my emotions fillig my head. I ended up waking Nathan up by accident and just crying on his chest. He whispered to me just as Xavier did. Just as Josh did. His voice had the soothing ring that I remembered Josh having. The romantic intensity might not have been their like it was with Xavier, but surprisingly enough, what Nathan was whispering softly sounded like something my dead god would say to me and me alone.
I felt empty without Xavier though. He was my angel and I felt like I let him down. Nathan told me not to fret, that his death was not my fault. But I still felt like it was. I had a freshly opened gaping wound in my chest, and scabbed up cuts on my wrist. I let myself break and my inner demon seize control two days before. I let myself slit my wrists so I could avoid the pain of my missing angel. But it really wasn't myself. It was my inner demon who had done it. But since he is apart of me, maybe I really was to blame. But it still happened two days before I had found out. Mind you, I didn't know he was dead yet. I just thought he was mad at me. But when Kristoph showed me the vivid image of my God's death, I allowed myself to be overcome with the pain and agony I had only known with Joshua.
Now my God is back but the image of him I once knew is twisted and mangled into a sick and psychotic God of lust and passion. To be honest...
I kind of like it.