Weird 2

Story by Razil8 on SoFurry

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#2 of Weird series


Weird 2

To my readers: I will continue my stories my stories about Weird. I will keep role-playing some Kayla episodes. Kayla Ackart, Anne the raptor girl, Ninne Sac'kral, Mark the reptile (in Kayla's story # 12) and Mrs. Rembrandt belongs to Professor Bob. Tony, Abby, Black wolf and Jessica the were-fox belongs to me. This work is only a parody and should not be taken as a guideline for a 'penitatas' episode. The muse betrayed me and I couldn't think of anything unique. Again, THIS IS ADULT MATERIAL and you shouldn't be watching it if you are underage or where is forbidden. If you are caught don't blame me, and don't try this at home or you'll be thrown out of the American continent!

Tony was utterly destroyed. He never thought that Grand Ma Parker would die. It was all so sudden, and at some point, so stupid. He couldn't believe it when her mother told him between hysterical sobs. She was recuperating so well that he thought that in no time she would be sharing the Sunday afternoons and spoiling him like she always did after Sunday mass. He didn't thought that something so trifling like a urinary infection would kill her. On top of all that his mother almost fainted during the funeral, breaking up all his emotional resistance as he started to cry hysterically as well. It was a good thing that with all the commotion about his mother no one paid attention to him as he ran to cry in a public restroom. He knew he would never see her grandma again. He would miss the way she spoiled him and shared with her some good moments. And her smile...

So Tony kept busying himself playing a first-person shooter video game on his Playstation 3 to get rid of those sad thoughts while 'Pantera's -Mouth for war' was blaring on the stereo.

Tony's mother knocked the door and told him: 'Tony, we have to bring uncle Richard back to the airport so he can travel back to Atlanta. I know that you had plans for tonight but you'll have to take care of your sister and you can't go without a responsible adult to a party. Oh, Tony don't look at me like that! I'll promise I'll make up for tonight, I promise!'

Tony sighed as he covered his face with his hand: 'Aaww, fuck! On all the nights, Mom had to bring a babysitter on Halloween night! I wont be able to go anywhere. She promised that she would make it up. Yeah right! During the last New Year's eve party I drank half a bottle of Grandma's Jamaican rum and barfed my stomach on the fountain's water. Dad hauled me out and I had to sit for the rest of the month with a pillow under my blazing butt!'

Suddenly, the cellular phone rang and Tony picked it from the floor beside him. "Jessica! I'm so glad to hear your voice again! But what happened to you? It has been months since last time I saw both Black and you! What did you say? Where and when is this party going to be? I wish I could go but we are supposed to be kept by a babysitter and she won't let me go! Huh?! How did you managed to deceive them to allow you that? Well, in that case I will be glad to join the party. A thousand kisses and blow-jobs to both Black and you".

Tony's sister, Abby was puzzlingly looking at his brother as he smiled to her: "Abby, tonight we will be staying at home. A baby-sitter will come here to keep us company." She replied: "How come you look so glad that somebody will be baby-sitting us tonight?"

Later, when Tony's parents went to the airport...

Tony's mother gave the last instructions to the baby-sitter as she gave the young girl her phone and emergency phone numbers. "You are allowed to raid the pantry and here you have some money for buying food for the children and yourself. Bye. I will pay you when we return".

They interchanged pleasantries with the new baby-sitter before departing to Atlanta.

Tony's mother gave a last order: "Children! Come here and meet your Baby-sitter. And obey her commands!"

The young girl whispered to the matronly female: "Don't worry, they look like well-behaved children".

When the parents started the car and went away, a small wicked smile of triumph appeared on the sitter's face. Jessica took off her straw hat, dark glasses and brown wig. She shook her head and let free her copper-red hair as Tony grinned like he just won the million-dollar lottery. As soon as Tony's parents went away, both Jessica and Tony shared a wild kiss, while he fondled her breast. Abby looked incredulously.

She began to chant mischievously: "Tony's got a girl-friend! Tony's got a girl-friend!" She stopped chanting when she smelled her: "She has the gift of the children of the night?"

Tony smiled to her and whispered: "She's the one who gave us our feral nature, Abby".

Jessica kissed Abby in the mouth as she began to fondle her nether regions. Any normal child would have recoiled, horrified. But this wasn't a normal child but a wolf pup wearing a human skin, which is the true nature of these were-creatures. Soon she opened her legs wide to welcome the new sensation as she began to moan. Soon, a young Goth in his early twenties came inside the room and took the girl from Jessica's arms. He began to finger-fuck the girl in both the rear and front. She yelped in pain and bared her long fangs, biting Black wolf in the arm while the onlookers laughed hysterically.

Tony began to suck on Jessica's nipple as she whispered: "You just couldn't wait for Chinese food, didn't you?" "Well, let's get dressed and we will fetch some burgers".

The children yelled happily as Jessica took her coat and drove to a very particular food establishment.

But to Tony's dismay, the group traveled in an old piece of junk with four tires. Tony didn't wonder if this car passed inspection, but when the vehicle would fall apart. The automobile rattled like a paint-mixing machine and the only thing holding the car together were spit and wishes. The car was also leaking oil like a woman in one of those days of the month.

Abby complained: "Jess, you couldn't get a better car than this junk?"

Jessica replied angrily: " Just stop bitching out! This was the only car I could get because I wrecked the other one. I'm tempted to send you back home if you keep complaining, so shut the fuck up!"

Abby was very upset, and frowned. She used her finger to play tic-tac-toe on the dirty glass window. Ten minutes later Jessica wondered why people kept staring and laughing every time they stopped at any red light. Have all the lunatics escaped from the asylum? Then Jessica noticed something written on the dirty glass. She became both angry and horrified when she saw what was written. The message reads:

"ARE YOU IN NEED OF RELIEF? GET INSIDE AND START THE ENGINE!"

Jessica wished she could murder the girl. Black roared with laughter when he realized that Abby compared Jess's car with a giant vibrator. Later, Tony was puzzled when Jessica drove to a 24-hour dinner inside a food warehouse, instead of a place like Mc Donald's.

As the group walked in he saw horrified how Ms. Redfield, that nosy bitch was staring at them while Jessica took a number and waited in a 24-hour dinner for sandwiches. Tony decided to tell Jessica about what happened and she told him to just act normal. Tony gave her his best smile and waved his hand to her meaning 'hello'. The woman just looked confused and walked away fuming. She never liked the boy, and thought that she caught him doing something 'out of the line'.

She gave the signal to a nearby girl who sat near them with a couple of children. Those children were using the same teddy bear disguises that him and his sister were wearing. Not only that but that girl looked just like Jessica! Did Jess bribe the sitter? He said nothing as he walked away while his sister and Black waited in the car. Jess and Tony passed thru rows of meat hanging from hooks as they opened a really massive refrigerator door. When they opened the door they found... what looked like an improvised porno film studio, with a bed in the center, mirrors on the ceiling and all the spotlights aiming at the bed? Now that was fun!

But they didn't stop at the improvised studio, but to a small storeroom with no visible windows and only one door. When they turned on the lights they saw that the room was filled with rows of school seats and a small desk, nothing more. The room was cleverly painted in such way that it mimicked in all details the interior of a schoolroom, with "cabinets filled with textbooks" neatly painted, "children's drawings" and a painted "world globe", a make believe "blackboard" and simulated "windows" on the walls, and so on. A rail mounted camera hanged from the roof.

A group of girls, boys and werewolves a year or two older that Tony sat all dressed in Catholic school uniforms. Some other young humans were dressed in disguises of diverse animals and had body paint imitating fur all over their naked bodies. Jessica walked outside the room as she whispered to Tony: "Welcome beloved blood-brother and happy initiation". He stood in the corner while the rest of the group covered his naked body with orange paint. Minutes later she came in clad in a teacher's uniform that had a navy blue business jacket with a matching mini-skirt, reading glasses and a white buttoned blouse, but no bra (or panties): "Good morning, children"! she said.

"Good morning Mrs. Rembrandt!" the youngsters greeted in unison. Tony went pale when he heard the name of one of the characters in Kayla's story. He knew perfectly what was waiting for him, but he knew what would happen if he tried to escape. He didn't want to share the same fate as Anne the reptile girl when she tried to escape her first grade welcome paddling. They were role-playing a part of Kayla's stories as part of the initiation! Jessica went on: "I will read the names of the students and they will come and get their welcome spanking. If I see any erection or wet pussy, the offender will get twenty-five more swats!" As he heard the first names, Tony began to get aroused when he saw dozens of nude girl assess being spanked (and boy's asses too!).

Tony unconsciously began to stroke himself when he remembered Jessica's instructions and took what was left of his ice-cold coke and bathed his nuts with it! It hurt like son of a bitch but it kept his rear safe. As Tony saw more nude bodies he thought that if he stayed for more time he would have the worst case of blue balls in the last five decades. Jessica snickered as she kept spanking 'penitatas' students. (Was she teasing him?) Tony couldn't help himself and became hard again. She nodded to him as each other remembered their part: 'Well Kayla, I'm sorry but I have to punish you!' Tony began his role-play: 'I'm sorry for hacking all those people! Don't punish me!' Then the fake teacher took Tony by the arm Jessica didn't slow down when she switched him mercilessly fifty times and soon he joined the rest of the whimpering class with an ass lit ablaze.

She began to apply some lotion to everyone's butt (and finger fuck some male asses and pussies as well) while the students began to grind against and feel each other's bodies when they stood facing the corner. She took a remote control and activated the camera, a portable set of disco lights and a small boom box, which played Marilyn Manson's 'Dance of the dope hats'. She began to strip-dance at the music's rhythm as more and more hungry hands began to fondle her. The students began to shout catcalls and indelicate names to Jessica, as she ripped off a 'raccoon' girl's school uniform.

Both girls started to strip-dance for the audience. Soon the stripping girls started to penetrate each other's cunts with fake dildos as they kissed each other's lips, and then they licked and sucked on each other's breasts. In no time the role-play turned into an orgy as the males and females began to be licked, fondled, sucked and penetrated by opposite and same sex partners. Some of former humans began to scream and howl savagely as they transformed into wolves. That didn't keep them from fucking with other werewolves and the remaining humans.

In the meantime, at Jessica' car...

Black and Abby were getting rid of the garbage from the last meal as they began to get dressed. Black was glaring at the panty-clad girl as she was trying a catholic school girl uniform. Black took the girl by the arm as his hands were fondling the girl and fingering her cunt. Soon he took off his clothes and her uniform, as both were naked in the deserted parking lot. Black thought: "This is my chance! I'm beginning to feel like Stephen Galmar when he wanted to rape Kayla". She yelped when he roughly yanked her clit, causing the girl to bare her fangs and start hissing like a wild cat. Black was completely surprised: "I wonder how Galmar felt if he had to fuck a rabid wolverine".

The cell phone rang: "Yes, Jessica. Yes, I see the girl with the bait. Okay, I'll give her the keys just as Abby finishes dressing herself".

Black yelled: "Hurry up, we have to join your brother!" Black gave the car keys to the original babysitter with the kids.

She said: "Take my Acura in the employees' parking lot. Here are the keys. I'm going to pick up my boyfriend and let that old fart follow me. When I'm sure I've lost her, I'll pick up my car in Tony's house. You'll find Jessica if you follow the loud music".

So Black and Abby went inside the party and both got the surprise of the lives as they saw males on top of males, females licking each other's cunts. Some females were even raping with strap-on dildos their male couples in plain sight. Black told Abby to go back to the entrance but she kept looking mesmerized at everything around her. She saw a red headed boy penetrating a cute raven-haired boy as they grinned to her.

The other "penitatas" encouraged her to explore the boys' bodies. After the boys finished their lovemaking, they stripped and penetrated Abby in both her cunt and ass. Soon they began to fondle and lick her gleaming, sweaty body. The boys began to kiss her all over her body, beginning with her face and neck as they continued to kiss and lick her salty skin on her chest, belly and back. Finally, they separated her ass checks and labia as they licked and inserted their tongues in her naughty regions. She started to moan and squeal in pleasure. Soon the boys penetrated her in both ends as she cried in blissful pain.

Meanwhile Tony, Black and Jess were licking and peeing all over two other boys as the boys performed a hot sixty-nine. Once hard, the blonde boys penetrated both Black and Tony as the later sighed happily. Little the four of them knew that Jessica planned for them. Acting fast, she strapped the young lads around Tony and Black while they were still joined at the hips. Grinning wickedly, she took an oak switch and swatted the boys until the rears became crimson and purple. She kept going while Tony and Black humped back making the blond boys squirm in lust. Soon the four lads began pumping as they developed a good rhythm. The young boys came inside Tony and Wolf before they were untied.

As the orgy continued Tony took Abby's hand and went to the film studio. Abby was still sore in both ends when Tony applied some ointment in her labia and ass, but he did not penetrate her with the fingers. He began to kiss her tenderly on the mouth as she parted her lips. They embraced each other as Abby wrapped her legs around him. Soon, passion took over as their hands traveled all over their bodies. He embraced her protectively and began to rock her back and fort. Tony did not want to hurt her so he kissed her all over her back and buttocks. The he began to rub his penis around her closed armpit as she fingered her cunt. She began to moan quietly as he licked her ear lobe.

In seconds, a slender figured appeared out of a corner: "So, there you are! I though you were with the group".

Tony smiled: "Sorry, Jessica. But... Amanda needed a rest so we thought we could get some privacy". Jess nodded: "She looks very sore down there. Tony, you didn't finish your part of the initiation".

Tony's frowned: "Are you going to whip me?"

Jessica said: " I won't. But you'll have to try these and make each other come".

Jessica handed to both children a pair of brown restraining suits with the shape of lizards.

Tony replied: "But we won't be able to use our hands or feet!"

Jessica answered: "That's the idea!"

So the children played the part of Ninne (the raptor girl) and Mark the reptile as they engaged in another hot sixty-nine, then they began to lick each other bodies like a pair of pups cleaning themselves. Jessica activated the camera with the same remote control she used at the party and the filmed the youngster's hot action. Both shuddered and squealed on top of their lungs as they came. Tony tried to mount and penetrate her, but he couldn't hold his penis and spread Abby's nether lips. So Jessica guided Tony's penis inside Abby's vulva.

Tony just loved seeing his sister's pale, round ass as he humped her. They came, but not as hard as before as they enjoyed the warmth of their bodies. Both youngsters were quite excited when they saw how Tony's penis slid in and out of Abby's cunt. The feeling was exquisite, as the tip of the penis became hotter by the seconds. Then Abby's vulva started to contract, milking her brother's penis as fire started in her mound, then radiated thru the pit of her stomach, igniting her body like a wildfire sweeping over dry grassland.

Both of them came and fainted while they were still joined by the hips. Jessica caressed their bodies and gave them her milk. Tony and Abby's exertion gave them an incredible thirst, and they suckled Jess' breasts like starving wild pups. Jessica hugged and kissed them tenderly, like these children were her own pups. Just when the wild orgy ended, the bodies of the remaining humans began to change shape as their pain-filled cries turned into an eerie chorus of howls.

Their limbs, heads, bodies and internal organs began to reshape. Vestigial tailbones grew into long tails with a plume of fur at the end. Fur grew on their bodies. In a moment dozens of gleaming yellow eyes were seen as a wolf pack padded thru the hallway. They tore and ate huge chunks of meat and leaved a bloody mess as the wolves trotted away with full bellies.

When the group came to Tony's home, the grown-ups gave some orange juice to the children and carried them to their rooms and tucked them to bed. The fake baby-sitter gave the car keys to Jess and joked: 'Thanks! It was a fun ride for both my boyfriend and me, but the back seat is soaked with cum'. Jess rolled her eyes and said sarcastically: 'Very funny!' But, before they when away, the couple scattered some toys around the patio to give the false impression that the children were playing outside. Jess forgot her purse in the porch.

Black asked: 'Did you give some sleeping powder to them?' Jess replied: 'Sure, they drank all the juice, but what if they have nightmares?'

Black slapped his own face: 'It didn't occur to me that the children would be more susceptible to the drug. I'm praying to heaven that their nightmares will not wake up their parents'.

Apparently, Black wolf's plead wasn't heard because not only that happened but the children bit both parents in panic when both of them went to calm down their children. Tony apologized and tried to explain to them what happened to him.

Tony said: 'Dad, I don't want to alarm you but... There have been some funny changes in my body that you wouldn't understand!'

Tony's mother said: 'Son, if you want to discuss the facts of life and how the flowers and the bees...'

Tony replied: 'NO! Mom, I'm a werewolf! I am affected with lycanthropy'

The parents laughed hysterically, but their laugh didn't last as they felt the first symptoms of the transformation. Tony's dad was nervous and went to the back porch to smoke and calm himself.

Tony's mother was seething with anger as her tail flickered furiously: 'Why didn't you tell me that you had this condition and hide this from me? Answer me young pup... and STOP wagging your tail and smelling your sister's butt!"

Tony lied: ' I'm sorry mom, but Jess just licked my scratched knee like a dog would and I got infected.'

Abby interrupted while she was devouring a box of dog biscuits: 'Well, it's not so bad. You can see in total darkness!'

Tony sighed and his mother felt like she wouldn't take anything else: 'We will discuss it in the morning!'

Tony's dad entered the room with a brown purse: 'Look what I found!' The face of Tony's mother brightened.

The next morning, the baby-sitting couple went back to Tony's house to get the purse back. As the young adults greeted the parents, both Black and Jess noticed that something was amiss as both parents smiled like the cat that ate the canary.

The mother asked: "So, how is the coffee?"

Jess replied: "It was good, but for some reason I feel dizzy".

At that moment both Black and Jess started to see a blurred, double vision. Black fainted.

Jess was horrified just before she fell: "What did the four of you did to my boy...f-friend. Aahhh...!"

Jess and Black woke up hours later only to find themselves tied, gagged and lying on the sofa, wearing no clothes. They were surprised to see Tony's parents wearing only their fur, both of them gripping bumblebee paddles.

Tony's mother said coldly: "You infected my son with lycanthropy. So... What do you have to say in your defense?"

Jessica gave a muffled sound as her eyes begged for forgiveness.

The mother said: 'I know you are sorry, but you will have to pay!'

Tony's father interrupted: 'Look what I found in the car's trunk!'

He held a strap-on with a monstrous rippled, purple dildo that would put any horse in shame.

The mother asked incredulously: 'Do you use this with your boyfriend? I hope that you will have enough good judgment to keep your love making away from the eyes of my children.'

Both babysitters nodded frantically, not wanting alpha female to know what they been up to or in what kind of activities the kids were voluntarily involved. Tony's mother adjusted the strap-on dildo on herself as she gave Jess' furry butt a gentle stroke with the paddle.

She said: 'Get ready, because after this punishment I will use this big toy on both of you!' Tony's mother fingered Jessica's cunt and sucked nectar filled finger. Jessica trembled like a leaf and actually started crying. Jess whimpered and braced herself as Tony's mother raised her paddle. WHAP! WHAP! SLAM! Aaarroooooo!

********

Did you think that I would leave you with a short erotica? NOT

It was past one hour before sundown as Tony and Abigail were playing football in a back alley. Then, Abby's throw missed and the ball landed inside Ms. Redfield's rose garden.

Tony protested: "Abby, next time make sure that you aim at Ms. Redfield's garden so the ball will land elsewhere!"

Abby lowered her head: "Sorry!"

Tony muttered angrily as he climbed at the ornamental fence and used nearby tree as a monkey-swing to jump into Ms. Redfield's garden. Tony threw the ball to the deserted street, but a light in one of the mansion's window caught his attention. He used some hanging vines to climb and peek thru the window. His heightened werewolf senses made him fell a bad sensation on his aura. He shuddered when he saw a black cauldron filled with knives, gold coins, nails, Voodoo dolls, some human and dog skulls, and even a few handguns, bullets and a hand grenade. If that wasn't enough to make him shudder, there was on the floor the figure of a pentagram with five red candles at each point.

There was some dried blood in the center of the pentagram and the whole room was illuminated with red and black candles. Tony saw some books lying on the floor: "Basic repair and maintenance for zombies, Learn Voodoo in thirty easy lessons, Witchcraft for dummies, En-suck-lopedia of demonic entities". Somebody was crazy in this house or Ms. Redfield was a practitioner of black arts. Suddenly, he felt a huge red claw that grabbed him by the cuff of his neck and lifted him like a rag-doll. An hour later Tony yelled to Abby to run to their house on top of his lungs. She panicked as both ran to the house and slammed the front door as they entered. They bolted to their rooms and both covered their fear-stricken faces under the blankets. Tony didn't tell Abby a word about what he saw inside that house.

The next day Tony sat in the porch, waiting anxiously for an exclusive video game that he has ordered. When the mailman came to deliver the letters

Tony asked him: "Mister, do you know about a customized video game that was supposed to be delivered five days ago?" The mailman digested what the boy said and realized that he screwed up. He delivered the package in the wrong place.

He lied: "Sorry child, but the video game had the wrong direction and I - I delivered it to a house three blocks away".

The displeased boy began to growl like a rabid dog. At the same time, Abby was in her room, brushing her hair when a piercing scream caught her attention. She looked thru the window and saw that Tony was chasing the mailman... going after him on all fours?

Tony barked furiously and he cornered the incredulous man.

The grown-up thought: "Is this boy crazy? If I survive this I will tell his parents to inject him with a bucket-load of Ritalin and put him in a straight jacket!"

The mailman stood frozen with fear as Tony sniffed him, and to the adult's surprise, Tony got on all fours and unzipped his fly. He barked happily as he cocked his leg and urinated on the mailman's leg, soaking his pants.

If the mailman could only have a bumblebee paddle: "You little mother-fucker!"

In a strange twist of destiny (or not) the mailman stopped just in front of Ms. Redfield's home. He hoped that any one would let him use the bathroom to clean his pants.

He knocked the door: 'I hope that there's somebody home'.

An obese woman wearing a fedora answered: 'Ooohhh... What can I do for you mister?'

The mailman answered: 'I would like to use your bathroom if it's not a problem, Ms. Redfield. May I?' He blushed because of slack's urine stain. She misunderstood his reaction and fell for him like a ton of bricks.

She asked: 'May I offer you a cup of coffee?'

His face brightened: 'Thank you!'

Seven minutes later his vision became blurred, and he felt dizzy. He fainted and fell like a timber. She removed her bathrobe to reveal a flimsy black nightgown, which revealed a gross, disastrous figure with lumps of fat over fat. Ms. Redfield began to chant in a mysterious language as her skin turned gradually to scaly red. Small arm-like appendages and a red membrane sprouted and grew from her back as a scaled tail was forming on her spine.

Tony felt like Benedict Arnold. He shouldn't have accepted that money from Ms. Redfield to lure that poor guy inside, even if Ms Redfield threatened to kill and swallow him whole, which was a poor excuse. A piercing scream was heard in that infernal room. Was the mailman sacrificed in a macabre black mass ceremony? Tony crept into the mansion with a baseball bat on his paws...to fight a demonic sorcerer?

He didn't stand a chance but he would try to save him at least. Tony watched incredulously as a red female dragon inserted her tail in the mailman's ass as he screwed her cunt. Tony couldn't stop laughing as he saw the mailman covered from head to toes in dragon cream. Cute, they sure make a beautiful couple. The dragoness began to shudder uncontrollably as she came, banging the poor guy against the floor. She made a dent in the wooden surface with the mailman's body.

The unfortunate bastard was knocked out cold and the dragoness began to cry desperately. "WAAAaaahhh-ha-ha-ha! Now I'm still horny and I can't come!"

She discovered Tony from his hiding place and said: "Would you like another two hundred bucks?"

Tony frowned: "Is it legal?"

She said as she lifted her tail and exposed her huge winking asshole and plump, wet pussy lips: 'You already have the perfect toy.'

He thought with disgust as he pumped the bat in the dragon's cunt: 'The things I have to do for money!'

The dragoness farted and covered Tony's face with hot nauseating ass air. Tony's got a hard on and covered himself with his hands.

She said: 'Is that erection for me? Come and give me a hug!'

Tony thought: ' I'm royally screwed (figuratively and literally) and I do not even have a football helmet!'

At the following night Tony had to apply a bag of ice on his back and swallow painkillers one hour before going to bed.

He thought: "Oh! Somebody tell that motherfucker to stop jackhammering my back!" Lucky for him that Black wolf has stretched his ass enough. The next day Tony found the mailman delivering in another route and both apologized to each other.

He said: 'Sir, I'm terribly sorry for deceiving you into going to the arms for that horny fat bitch. Did that horny walrus hurt you?"

The mailman said: "Not permanently, but thanks for intervening anyway. Before I fainted I saw that you carried a baseball bat. But I don't think that hitting her in that gargantuan dragon form would do anything to her'.

Tony replied: 'I put you in this trouble, so I had to get you out. I bought your liberty, but DON'T ask how'.

The mailman was silent but he imagined the terrible price that Tony had to pay.

Tony exclaimed: 'Now I recognize you! You were a talented minor-league baseball player! But you were supposed to be strong candidate for the Mayor Leagues'.

The mailman said: 'I was, but a car accident got my left leg badly injured and I couldn't make it. WHY do you think I'm working here if I could be a millionaire?'

Tony exclaimed: 'Wait here!' Ten minutes later Tony went to the porch wearing his minor league uniform, a cap and a yellow box with one pair of brand new balls inside.

He said: 'May I have your autograph?' The mailman smiled warmly at the boy's request. The autograph of an injured minor league player with less than average stats wouldn't be worth a penny but the mailman knew the lad wanted to make amends. He signed the boy's shirt.

Tony took off his pants and underwear as he said: 'Please, sign for me TWO pairs of balls'. The mailman said: 'But I only see only a yellow box containing one pair of new... Oohhhh!'

The End

-Dedicated to all fur-fiction writers

(The details about the iron cauldron are based in Afro-Cuban voodoo)