Poor Lex
"Poor Lex, do you know what's wrong with him now? I know he's been under a lot of stress, but he won't return my calls and when I see him at school and in classes he's very brief with me, Most of the time I have to get his attention because he always has music playing in his ears. I'm worried about him, next time you see him just tell him I'll be looking for him." Zeno asks over his cell phone, laying on his bed trying not to weep for Lex's sake, Zeno's tears fall on deaf ears, tears wept then forgotten.
"To tell you the truth Zeno, the last time I saw him was when we went to the park, which was weeks ago. He looks so sad now, he's stuck in his shell and he can't come out, we can't get through to him, we're losing him to something, and none of us know exactly what it is." The distant voice of a deeply concerned Queue comes clear through the receiver.
"Well, I'm going to call Cal, and ask him if he knows anything more than we do, Maybe I'll call Lex after, and at by some chance he answers me," Zeno pauses not knowing what to say or ask or even talk about if Lex answers. "I don't know what I'll say Queue..."
"Be sure to call me back tonight, regardless if Lex answers, okay Zeno? I'll be up till midnight, till then" Queue doesn't wait for a response from the other end, Zeno's already hung up.
Zeno scrolls through his contacts of his phone and finds Cal's name. It rings and rings for a while and Zeno gives up. Zeno dips into his contacts again, and sees Lex's name, taking a deep breath he calls. The phone rings for ages and just as Zeno is about to hang up the ringing stops.
"Lex?" Zeno says quickly not knowing if he's talking to someone or just got cut off from the line.
A tired, timid, small voice answers back slowly almost rasping, "Zeno..? Why'd you call me?"
Zeno lets out a silent sigh of relief hearing Lex's voice, "Lex, I'm worried about you, we all are. I'm your best friend and you know that, I want to meet you somewhere, anywhere, I need to talk to you and see you, alone..."
Zeno can hear talking in the background, but thinks nothing of it figuring it's a television running. "we have class at the end of the day together, we'll go take a walk if you want to skip that class, maybe we could go to the football field I don't think there will be anyone there..." Lex's voice almost cracks, hearing Lex hold back his tears the amount of emotions in his voice without him realizing it while Zeno's flow freely the feeling is indescribable. Zeno felt lost before talking to Lex now he is sad but at least tomorrow he'll have something to look forward to.
"it's good to just hear your voice Lex, you have no idea how worried I am for you, you....aren't yourself anymore...since that weekend..." Zeno's heart sinks; he shouldn't have said that, Lex hung up on him without hesitation. Why did he have to bring it up, why? Zeno now gets to go to bed crying, sadder than he ever though he would be, do his friends feel the same way about what's happening? Do they let their tears fall so freely? Doubtful.
That weekend, it was Zeno, Lex, Cal, Queue and another whose name he had forgotten because they met him that night. It was a boring Saturday and the five spent their time sitting at their favorite park, Yosimate, just talking. Cal and Queue in each other's arms loving one another, and the three others sitting around in a circle talking about what ever came to mind at the time. Time past and the sun dipped down below the horizon, Zeno remembers the sound of the crickets, and the owls clearly, the dampness of the ground on his bare feet as he walked home alone, leaving the other four to their own devices. The only thing after that that he got from the interrogations of his friends was that Lex had to go home after getting yelled at by his mom for two reasons, for not telling her where he was before hand, and for staying out past the sunset, and that the other one that they met that night offered to walk Lex home upon hearing of his departure, and off they went. He seemed so nice Zeno didn't think anything of it, but Zeno got to thinking, that must have been it, something must have happened, why did he trust him? Why did Queue and Cal trust him just the same? Maybe Zeno's just over thinking this, drawing up ridiculous scenarios in his imagination. Lex wouldn't have let anything happen to him, after all Lex knows better than to be trusting to someone.
On a previous affair months ago, Lex was chasing the tail of Queue's sister, Sael, who might have handled the situation extremely badly, but that's not for Zeno to decide on, after all it's not his business. Queue told the story he had gotten from his sister the following day, telling the story once Lex left to talk to his teacher.
"Yeah, you know how Lex has been chasing my sister's tail? Well I'm not sure what happened fully, but I heard her yelling to him over the phone through the walls. Saying that it wouldn't happen, nor will it ever, and that she doesn't return the favor, or something like that. It was really late and I was trying to fall asleep..." Queue went on and on about it, talking with his hands and making eye contact with all of us. The day following and from then on it seemed that only Zeno respected Lex. The others didn't talk to him as much, and Lex became quieter than usual. Lex was always an outgoing person, but it seemed to leave him where he sits. His eyes got darker, and he always stared down at the ground like he was lost in his own mind, trying to think of something to say if he was addressed by his friends. Of course, Lex seemed to brighten up when Zeno was around, the only time he looked happier, he looked uplifted just being around his best friend. That's how it was before that weekend when all of them were together, then broke away. Who knew that Lex wouldn't be the same person after that?
Things have become very different; Zeno's friends seemed distant for some reason, something that goes on unexplained. Maybe because Zeno's still best friends with Lex, anyway Lex's other friends, or rather ex-friends, have no right or reason to become so unsociable towards him, and for that Zeno feels malice towards them all, why do this and further the destruction of an already broken down Lex?
Zeno's mind wanders in his dream state, but when he wakes up the next morning he can't remember what he dreamed about, only that it was an important dream that he should remember, if that is at all possible to remember what was already forgotten. After Zeno is woken up and already walking his way to school, he sees Sael, so Zeno picks up his pace to walk with her to their school.
"Saaaaaael!" Zeno shouts out quickly getting her attention.
"Oh...hey there Zeno, nice day out huh?" Sael likes making small talk.
"Yes it is. Say....Sael...have you seen Lex lately?" Zeno picks his wording carefully. Sael pauses.
"No I haven't, I heard that he hasn't been himself. Well, I should rephrase that, he's not himself after last, last weekend. I thought he was back to normal and with reality after the whole ordeal between him and me. I mean he called me on the phone and just started confessing himself to me, what was I suppose to do about it? The feeling weren't returned." Sael sighs heavy at seeing the top of the bell tower of the school ground. "What happened that weekend? I wasn't with you guys, all I heard was that Lex left to go home."
"Before that Saturday...Cal, and Queue, and the others that hang out with us, after....what happened between you and Lex, did you notice, how distant we became?" Zeno includes himself, just to include himself; even though he knows he has always been Lex's loyal friend.
Sael stops in her tracks, "Well...now that you mention it, we did kind of move apart...distance ourselves from him. But Lex did this to himself, it's not our fault he's such a shut in closet case that can't show his emotions properly." Sael becomes very blunt with what she's saying, how she really feels about Lex and how Zeno's sure the others feel too.
"Alright, well I'll talk to you later." Zeno feels disgusted that Sael even said that, thankfully they arrived at their school or Zeno would have said something he might regret saying. There was hurt behind her words, and she meant it to hurt, she wants to hurt Lex further.
And now sitting in his first period class, Zeno has to keep himself from spiting on the ground even recalling what Sael said. The thought of 'now she shows her true colors' comes to Zeno's mind. His class ends, and walking to his next class, he sees Lex, just as sad as depressed as ever; he tries to hide his face from Zeno with his sweater's hood, to no avail. Zeno makes eye contact, and can see tears in Lex's eyes. Zeno stops in his tracks, his heart sinking down with his stomach; he grabs Lex by the arm and hugs him tightly. Lex is tense, unbelievably tense, but he melts...melts in Zeno's arms. Students pass by them not thinking of it, hurrying off to their next class as if their life depended on it. Lex slowly, almost unsure of himself, wraps his arms around Zeno's back, burying his face into his neck, Zeno feels the warm, wet tears on his skin and starts to cry himself. Zeno closes his eyes and lifts his head to the sky; Lex's tears were silent until now, now Lex tries not to sob.
"Lex...please, it's okay, here...walk with me..." Zeno coos
"i...i...h--ave...to go to...class..." Lex's voice breaks, he chokes on his words.
Zeno looks down at Lex who slowly looks up at him with bloodshot eyes, cheeks stained wet. Zeno releases Lex from his arms and puts his hand on his shoulder,"Walk with me, everything will be fine, we'll walk, it'll be fine..." Lex doesn't say anything but nods slightly and starts walking with Zeno to the football field. There they sit on the bleachers, looking to the field, the sky turning gray.
"They don't like me anymore...I know it, because of what... I said to Sael...I don't know what made me think it was okay to...tell her how...I felt" Lex says in a remarkably calm manner. Zeno has his arm around Lex's shoulder. "And after that...everyone...I could tell they thought less of me..."
"Lex...what happened that Saturday after I left...?"
Lex sinks into Zeno's arms, starting to cry again, "after you left...my mom called my phone and yelled at me to get home...so I stood up and was starting to leave, and...the person we met that day...Duke...offered to walk me home, and I let him. We were walking though an alley, we were making small talk the whole way there...just talking...and it was nice, he was nice to me...then in the alley...he pushed me against a wall...and held a knife to my throat...and said not to say anything...he...he was grabbing at my pants buttons...he got them undone when...a car started at the far end of the alley...and I was blinded by the headlights off in the distance...and the next minute, he was gone..." Lex sighs heavily and starts to break down, holding onto his only remaining friend for dear life, sobbing into his chest quivering against Zeno. "i...I just redid my pants, and kept walking...and when I got home...my mom yelled at me, and got my dad to shout at me too...I just stood there nodding, waiting for them to stop, and when they did...I just went to my room...and sank into myself...I--I knew what he was going to do...what he would have done if that car hadn't driven by..."
Zeno becomes lost for words, he thought he could handle hearing what happened to Lex, but he was wrong. His Best friend just confessed himself to him, and he has nothing to say, all he can do is tighten his arm around Lex, and at least be there for him while he's crying so badly. At least Zeno's here for him, not like his other so called 'friends' who what? Abandoned him? Sael's voice is still in his mind, how could she have even thought of what she said let alone speak it so freely? At least now Zeno knows who his real friends are, he'll be with Lex for this, and he'll be with him and soothe him. The only one of Lex's friends that at least has the decency to meet with him as see what is wrong. Zeno puts his chin on Lex's head, letting Lex bury his face into his chest, still crying but at least the sobbing is over.
"Lex...I...I'm sorry...you should have phoned the police or at least told your parents about this...you can't keep it inside...I care about you Lex, I really do. More so then the others, Sael proved that to me on the walk to school today...I didn't know they could ever be so disrespectful, especially to something like this." Zeno tries the best that he can to console his downtrodden companion, but he doesn't think he's helping much. Deep down Zeno knows it's not the fault of his friends, they don't know what happened, but at least they could have taken the initiative to find out what is wrong, or maybe at the very least take the time to sit and listen and maybe understand.
And then, this thing hits Zeno, it cannot be described, he starts questioning himself exactly as to why he's staying so close and near to Lex, why he didn't follow the way of his other friends, why he was so out of place why he felt like his mind was spinning out of control not knowing what Lex was feeling and dealing with, and why he cares so much about his friend crying into him. Zeno shivers, holding his friend tighter and feeling tears start to well up. What is Zeno thinking? The same thing Lex was thinking towards Sael? How could he even think that this is what he's feeling, they're friends, best friends and that's how it will stay.
"Zeno...thank you so much for being here for me...thank you...thank you...thank...you..." Lex looks up at Zeno, tears still falling, but Lex is smiling now. One second Lex was sobbing and breaking down, and now...he's smiling, and it's not fake, it's really not. "Sael and i...I thought that she returned the feelings, but I was foolish. We have only known each other a few weeks, and not much time was even spent with each other, I was hopeful, and I don't know what I was thinking, what I was feeling at the time. I wanted to just be with someone, to hold them like I am now, with...you..." Lex stops himself from speaking anymore, and Zeno feels him slightly pull away from their embracement. Zeno puts a stop to Lex's reluctance quickly, pulling him back in by the back of his neck.
"Lex...it's okay. Today...is a happy day, don't feel like you have to run from this..." Zeno says smoothly, calmingly and lovingly. Lex takes a deep breath and stays silent for a minute. Zeno enjoys this, the comfort, the feel of his friend and himself together again after weeks of depressing sadness. Zeno can think of a few instances of this happening, of Lex getting really sentimental and silent towards him, saying nothing but just giving him a long hug. This feels wonderful, just being. Zeno realizes how many times this has happened, how he got the same feeling before when he was with Lex as he does now. Lex giggles a little bit in Zeno's chest.
"You are...the nicest person I have ever known, Zeno..." Lex stops speaking again, and just sighs a little bit and goes back to hugging his best of friends. Lex giggles some more and makes Zeno laugh a little too.
The school bell rings, Zeno gives another squeeze and Lex catches his motions to stand up. "I forgot it's a short day today...that was the bell for break. "Would you want to walk with me some more...? Is there anything that you had to do today?" Zeno asks as they walk down the bleachers onto the field.
"No...I don't think I had anything due today." Lex maybe be lying, but would one day really matter? And so they walk on further to the front of the school, just under the bell tower and onto the front sidewalk, where they turn and now wait for the light to halt the traffic of the mid-morning.
"Zeno!" Queue's voice rings out behind the two, the peace has been broken. But Zeno, sighing, has to turn around and greet his friend at least give him the time of day.
"Hey Queue." Zeno gives a twitching smile, trying not to glare but maybe failing to an extent which Queue, in all his glorious ignorance, doesn't notice at all.
"What're you doing man? We get out in another two hours, you know? Shortened day? Or have you forgotten?" Queue interrogates in a baffled sort of way.
"Today, does not feel like a day for school, don't you think so?" Zeno tightens the hand around Lex's waist. Lex stays silent, looking at things that look interesting at that moment in time.
"You could always take tomorrow off and have more time to sleep and hang out with us, when it's a regular day."
"Yeah, I could. That's it then?" Zeno cuts the 'conversation' off noticing the light changed, and the lighted up walking man beckons them to cross.
"Alright, later Zeno." Queue turns around and walks off with his back pack slung over one shoulder.
After that slight conversation, the sort of hater for his friends grows slightly more. Queue, not even having the slightest amount of decency or respect to acknowledge his friend, who was right there in front of him, not a hello, not a good-bye, not even eye contact.
Lex and Zeno walking onward, neither of them giving any second thought about their 'friend'. Zeno still has his arm around Lex, and Lex returns the favor.
"So, Zeno...where do you want to go? We can't very well walk around this whole time while school is still going on." Lex looks up at Zeno with a smile, and a tilt of the head.
"We could go to the park, the grass would feel nice, or we could go to my house if there are too many people at Yosimate."
"The park sounds nice, yes, if there aren't a lot of people already there."
Just as Lex finishes his sentence, they take a sharp turn on the next corner. The only thing ugly about Yosimate is the chain link fence surrounding its boarders, which have become clearly visible. Walking adjacent to the metal frame Zeno looks down the steep hill to what the students at their school call, 'the skate circle.' Of course it wasn't a circle at all; it's just a flat concrete area full of skate marks.
Staring down Zeno's stomach sinks down to his feet, the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and he tenses up just a little bit. There he is, Duke! Just sitting there, sitting there! As if he's waiting for something, waiting for someone to come along. Zeno has a phone in his pocket, it would be so easy to see that rat bastard put away, but the scum hasn't done anything wrong, at least nothing that they could prove ever happened. Never again will either of them have to sully themselves at even the sight of this low life.
Zeno puts himself in between Lex, blocking out his view of the downward slope, and of the skate circle, and of that mother fucker. Zeno can think of nothing else but of his friend, and making sure that he doesn't notice either the trash or of his slightly changed demeanor. But alas, Lex is paying too much of detail to Zeno.
"Are you okay Zeno? You got tense..." Lex questions in a low, soft voice.
"Yeah Lex, I'm fine. But I just had a thought. Haven't you been hearing about the police checking the parks during school, trying to catch the ditchers? You know our town's police; they have nothing better to do." Zeno makes something up, which wasn't really made up because their police force did, in fact, have absolutely nothing to do, save for the occasional slow speed chase that crosses over their town's jurisdiction. And this lie better put, a distraction, worked.
"You know, you're right, we are ditching after all, no matter how short the day is. Your house is close, we can go there."
Zeno nods, and smiles a big smile while Lex does the same. They get to the park's corner, and Zeno decides it would not be best to walk adjacent to the park, and to take the next street.
"Aww, not this street, the hill's so steep." Lex protests but still walks with his arm around Zeno without the slightest hint of wanting to stop. After a grueling hike upwards they get to the top of the hill, and then, the two friends both had pits in their stomach.
There he is, leaning against the street light on the corner of the intersection with a dirty smirk on his face. Lex just up and freezes, his hand falling limply off of Zeno.
"Hey there Zeno." Duke grins maliciously, then turning and staring down Lex with a crazed look, "Hey there Lex, How have you been?"
Zeno, with all his might pulls Lex to move, having to pass right by Duke in the process.
"Aww, I see how it is not even a hello or good-bye? Well I guess I'll see you real soon." Duke continues to just stand there. 'Well I guess I'll see you real soon' that statement made Lex almost stop again, but they get to the next block which seemed forever. And they now turn onto Zeno's street.
The two friends walk with an increased pace, walking up Zeno's flagstone walk way and standing outside for half a second while Zeno unlocks his front door. They step beyond the threshold and Zeno shuts and locks the door again.
"Tha--that...was..." Lex is still speechless.