What's a Pilf?
What's a Pilf?
Got this idea when talking to John Lobo, so I figured I would include him in the story since, well, it WAS his idea and all. Enjoy <3
Pasta, pizza, breaded chicken, roast ham, stew, an assortment of vegetables... Those were just a sampling of the spread before the wolfdragon. Sasuke licked his chops as he surveyed the tables of food before him, seeing those foods and so many others that his senses momentarily left him as he took a whole tray of food and ate its contents in a rather loud gulp. He quickly remembered where he was though as the entire pizza slid down his throat and put the empty platter back, hoping only a few patrons had seen him do that. Being the owner of the buffet he was in did have its perks, but eating like that was not one of them while the place was open. No, that was saved for later... During his after-hours gorging.
Loading up a couple plates after a minute of recomposing himself, the wolfdragon waddled back over to his table and settled into his special backless-bench, which protested greatly about holding up such an immense creature despite its many reinforcements. Every time he sat in that bench, the complaints of metal reminded him of his heft, and the louder they got, the more proud he felt. He wasn't paying attention to that now though, as he settled in and got to the business at hand: Emptying the 2 serving platters he treated like tea trays of their high-calorie contents.
Napkin going neatly in his lap and utensils in paw, Sasuke set to eating, doing so quickly but neatly, as he was in public after all. He hated utensils, as they slowed down getting to the food, but he used them simply to maintain a certain amount of civility around his patrons, as he did want them coming back rather than being scared off. He did try and get as much 'finger food' as he could to get away with using his paws, but since a steak did not qualify as such, he was stuck with a knife and fork for at least a portion of the meal. Said portion went by rather rapidly though, thanks in no small part to the sheer size of his utensils: Serving knives and forks were all that could even be used by the behemoth, as everything else just felt too tiny and fragile in his beefy paws. Thanks to that, he finished his torturous 'well-mannered' meal-segment in a few big bites and could go back to eating with his fingers, much to his delight.
As he ate through his plates of food, which consisted of everything from burgers to sushi, the titanic hybrid looked around the restaurant and furry-watched. It was one of his favorite past-times (aside from eating of course), since it was something that could be done with no effort at all. Scanning the many furs in the room, Sasuke looked for any that were either immense like him, or had more than a bit of a healthy appetite. It was rare that anyfur met his qualifications, but on the small chance they did... They got a night and feeding that they would never forget. He didn't catch anything in his first pass of the room, but on his second, a green chunky rear caught his eye. A wolf, and a bit of a porker of one at that, had caught Sasuke's eye simply because he looked to have about as much food as the wolfdragon did. That was quite uncommon, for even as the wolfdragon went for seconds and thirds of his meal, he was several times larger than an average fur, but this wolf wasn't...
Calling to his personal waiter, the wolfdragon asked the portly tiger for a refill on his food and that the wolf's meal is made free. Giving out a free meal was something he did often to those with healthy appetites, and it sometimes paid off as he got to meet some pretty amazing furs through doing so. He had had his fair share of bad luck as well though, so he was hesitant about inviting the wolf over just yet.
His thoughts were interrupted by a shout of 'Thanks' and a hearty wave from the wolf. The green canine had gotten the message and apparently recognized the wolfdragon as the owner, and thanked him accordingly. The wolfdragon waved back, then thought for a second and made a beckoning motion with his hefty arm. The wolf was polite enough to say thanks, and so loudly... Sasuke had a good feeling about him now, so inviting him over seemed like the right thing to do. The company would be nice too, but he didn't really think of how nice it would be until he caught his tail wagging as the wolf approached. Green as a leaf and in ill-fitting clothes, the wolf almost looked like a pudgy librarian at a distance to Sasuke. That image alone made him chuckle, and when the canine finally got to the table, the hybrid had to restrain himself from saying anything about that image and instead just be polite. "Hi there."
"Hi Sasuke, I'm John. Thank you for the free food." The wolf's tail was wagging a mile a minute behind him, meaning that he apparently was pretty darn grateful. Smiling and nodding his head politely (although very little thanks to the tire that was his neck), the wolfdragon gestured for John to sit with him while waving the waiter off to fetch John's meal. The canine took the offer graciously, beaming as his rump met a far larger and more comfortable seat than the one he had been on before. "Very nice place you have here; the food is spectacular."
"I'll make sure to tell Hyede you like it, and a lot of it at that... Quite the pilf aren't you?"
"Pilf? What's that?"
Smirking and simply shaking his head, the wolfdragon got out of answering that question as the tiger returned with John's plates, looking as though they had been resupplied on the trip to boot. Thanking the tiger with a grin and looking over at John expectantly, the wolfdragon tore into a piece of chicken with some semblance of manners, but far less than before as he was fairly sure his new companion wouldn't mind. He didn't of course, and ate even messier than the wolfdragon, something which made Sasuke grin quite happily. A true display of gluttony was always something he admired, and this wolf seemed to have it down pat as he took whole slices of pizza and devoured them in just a couple bites, not even bothering to wipe the grease from his face.
Food passed through both of the gluttonous muzzles at quite a pace for a while, each almost silently competing with the other to eat more. Sasuke knew he would take the day simply on his size alone, but John was more than holding his own against the titan for now. 1 or 2 empty plates soon turned into a short stack, then a rather large stack, then a jumbled mess that went onto as second table as well as there was no room left on the table thanks to all the scraps and plates. The place had long since closed, leaving the 2 to pig out in peace and with no need to restrain themselves in terms of decency; and with a lack of manners and a team of chefs working overtime to keep their table stocked with edible items, that was just what they did.
The very little conversation that was made throughout the few hours of feasting consisted of mostly small talk about one another. Sasuke learned John was not a librarian, and John that Sasuke was the owner of far more than just this single restaurant. Past those small facts though, most of their time was spent shoving pawful after pawful off anything that the waiters brought to them down their respective, swelling gullets. Talk wasn't the only casualty of their gluttony though, as John had long since removed his shirt and belt, as well as loosened his pants all to make room for a gut which now made liberal contact with the table and pushed his legs out at an angle. Sasuke, on the other hand, had simply needed to loosen his pants, as no shirt made could even hope to cover the sagging sphere that was his gut. With all that the pair had eaten however, neither one of their bellies was doing much sagging anymore thanks to being so tightly packed with food.
Almost 4 hours after their eating spree had started, John called out a pained 'uncle' before letting out a table-shaking belch. Sasuke had been getting pretty close to being full himself, so he readily complied with the request to stop and patted his now-larger gut proudly. He could have eaten more of course, but he wanted to stop and not pushed his stuffed companion into eating even more, as an exploding green wolf would probably make the wolfdragon's cleaning hate him even more than they already did; and judging from the groans and burps coming from the wolf, an explosion seemed almost imminent. John looked to be trying to rub his gut, to soothe its immensely over-stuffed encasing and try to get at least some digestion started while it tried to make sense of just what had happened. Sasuke was joining John's tummy in that sense, as he surveyed the damage and the wolf to see just what his little invitation had done.
John had been a hefty canine when he came over, but now he had passed straight into 'tub-of-lard' territory. His gut, which had only to his mid-thighs when he had joined Sasuke to eat, was now well past his knees and probably would still sag past them even once he had digested the monumental amount of food in there. Not much fat had been put on elsewhere on the wolf's body yet, so he still looked comically bloated, with a gut that looked as though a large beachball had spontaneously inflated in it attached to a body that was merely chunky. The chorus of moans and groans from the overfed muzzle above that gut only helped drive the point further home; that Lobo was utterly stuffed to the gills. Sasuke watched and pondered what to do with Lobo next, the wolf's speech broke his train of thought: "I figured out what you meant..."
"Oh?" The wolfdragon looked confused as to what the wolf was talking about, as there had not been much said between the 2. John apparently saw this confusion though, and to remedy it completely, he scrunched up his stubby muzzle as best he could and let out a loud 'oink'. Sasuke instantly remembered his pig-wolf 'pilf' comment earlier, and burst out laughing. John laughed for a moment as well, rubbing his gut as he did as the quaking from laughter did not bode well for such an overstuffed gut. Seeing that, and having his own full gut to worry about, the wolfdragon grinned and chuckled before heaving himself to his feet and looking over at the wolf. "Why don't you let that meal digest some, then we can see about replacing the 'l' and 'f' with a 'g' eh?" Looking thoughtful for just a second, John replied with the same greeting he had given the wolfdragon hours before: A grin and a happy tailwag.