The Script of the Murray Scene from Joker but It's Waluigi
#14 of Memes and Shit
When you're so bored that you edit the script of the Murray scene from Joker so it's based on Waluigi's anger and depression at not being a playable character in Smash Ultimate.
Joker (c) Warner Bros.
Waluigi and all the characters in the script (c) Nintendo, obviously.
- Jamie
Waluigi : Knock knock.
Sakurai : Who's there?
Waluigi : It's the police, Ms Goomba. Your sons have been jumped on by plumber. They're dead!
Sans: *makes a wah-waaah sound on a trombone*
*Daisy: * Oh no, no, no! No, you cannot joke about that!
Sakurai: Yeah, that's not funny, Waluigi. That's not the kind of humor we enjoy around here.
Waluigi : Okay... Yeah, you know whah? I-I-I'm sorry. I know. It's just, you know, it's been a rough few weeks, Sakurai. Ever since I... Killed those three annoying Villagers.
Crowd: *murmurs and a few gasps can be heard*
Sakurai: Okay, I'm waiting for the punchline.
Waluigi : There is no punchline. It's not a joke.
Sakurai: You're serious, aren't you? You're telling us you killed those three Villagers off camera?
Waluigi : Mm-hmm.
Sakurai : And... Why should we believe you?
Waluigi : I've got nothing left to lose. Nothing can hurt me anymore. My life is nothing but a comedy.
Sakurai : So, let me get this straight. You think that killing those guys is funny?
Waluigi: I do. And I'm tired of pretending it's not. Comedy is subjective, Sakurai. Isn't that what they say? All of you, the system that knows so much, you decide whah's right or wrong. The same way that you decide whah's FUNNY... Or not!
Mario : Get him off-a!
Sakurai : O-Okay, I-I think...I-I might understand it. You...Did this to start a campaign? S-So you could become a fighter?
Waluigi : C'mon, Saku-raaaaaai. Do I look like the kind of wah that could start a campaign? I killed those guys because they were awful. Everybody is awful these days. It's enough to make anyone crazy.
Sakurai : Okay. So that's it, you're crazy. That's your defense for killing three Villagers?
Waluigi: No. They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives!
Crowd: *boos*
Waluigi: Waaaaahhh! Why is everybody so upset about these stupid Villagers?! If it was me dying on the sidewalk, you'd walk right over me! I pass you every day, and you don't notice me! But these Villagers- Whaaaah... Because LUIGI went and cried about them on TV?!
Sakurai : You have a problem with Luigi, too?
Waluigi : Yes, I do! Have you seen what it's like out there, Saku-raaaaaai? Do you ever actually leave your office? Everybody just yells, shouts, and screams at each other, NOBODY'S CIVIL ANYMORE!!! Nobody thinks what it's like to be the other guy. You think men like Luigi ever think what it's like to be someone like me?! To be somebody but themselves?! They don't. They think we'll all just sit there and take it like good little boys! That we won't werewolf and go WAAAAHLD!!
Sakurai: You finished? I mean, there's so much self-pity, Waluigi. You sound like you're making excuses for killing those poor Villagers. Not everybody, and I'll tell you this, not everyone is awful.
Waluigi : YOU'RE awful, Sakurai.
Sakurai: Me? I'm awful? Oh, yeah, how am I awful?
Waluigi : Playing my video. Inviting me on the show. You just wanted to make fun of me. You're just like the rest of 'em.
Sakurai : You don't know the first thing about me, pal. Look what happened because of what YOU did. What it led to. There are riots out there. Two players are in critical condition...
Waluigi: _ _*laughs*
Sakurai: You're laughing. You're laughing! Someone was killed today because of what you did.
Waluigi : *giggles*_ _I know! *pause* How about another joke, Sakuraaaai?
Sakurai: No, I think we've had enough of your jokes.
Waluigi: Whah do you get...
Sakurai: I don't think so.
Waluigi: ...When you cross...
Sakurai: I think we're done with your jokes, that's it.
Waluigi:...A mentally ill loner with a SOCIETY THAT ABANDONS HIM AND TREATS HIM LIKE TRASH?!?!?!
Sakurai: Call the police, Daisy!
Waluigi: I'll tell you what you get!
Sakurai: Call the police!
Waluigi: YOU GET WHA' YOU FUCKING DESERVE!!!!!! *throws a Bob-omb somewhere random out of anger and it explodes*