The Engineer's Curse

Story by Tehrasha on SoFurry

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#1 of Tales of the Lyandra

A humorous journey into the nightmarish world of debugging, inspired by actual events.

Characters include..

Captain Reginald (Reg) Ferimon, male, lagomorph

Chief Engineer Chief, male, ferret [yes, his given name is Chief, it is also his title]

Engineer's Mate Elrod, male, wolf

Ship's Medic Alda Hender, female, raccoon

Ship's Resident AI, Lance (LNC-4509 Class IV), holographic avatar is a male feline

This is my first stand-alone short story involving characters from my own little furry populated universe.

All previously posted snippets are from much larger as yet unfinished story arcs. Furries in space, et al.


Elrod had only been an engineer's mate for three days and already he had learned more than he had in five years of technical school. He had learned that what was written in design manuals rarely had any bearing on how a system worked in the real world. He had learned that any tool when properly applied was the correct one. He had learned to keep one eye on his clothes while in the shower. He had learned of the difference between a repair, a patch, and a hack.

He had also learned that making repairs in zero gravity soon lost its novelty and quickly became an exercise in frustration when tools and parts refused to remain where he had left them. It was because of this, that while working with the chief, he also learned an entirely new vocabulary of swear words.

With the toe of his boot wedged under the lip of a panel and his fingers stuck in the grating of an air duct, he was able to anchor himself in place while he held the chiefs ankle with his free hand. The ferret lay horizontally up to his boots inside the wall, grumbling about ground crews who couldn't do their job properly.

"Okay, pull me out", came a muffled shout, and the wolf gently pulled at the chief's foot, trying to remove him carefully, without scraping him down the walls of the access port. The ferret emerged, floating into the hallway with a toolbox in one hand and a large roll of yellow tape in the other. Once out he reopened his tool box and verified that everything was accounted for.

"Don't want to leave anything behind in there", said Chief to the younger wolf, who nodded in agreement. The ferret then closed and secured the panel covering the port, placing a large yellow 'X' on it with his tape.

"Hack or patch?" asked Elrod.

"Patch. It will need a proper repair when we get back to port", said the chief as he began to grumble again, "Idiots probably didn't torque the lags, and after who knows how many takeoffs and landings, they finally let go. Ripped the wires right out of the coupling."

Chief secured his toolbox to the floor then maneuvered himself to lay down next to it. Elrod did similarly on the opposite side of the corridor.

"Okay, Lance. Ready when you are", said Chief.

The AI's pleasant voice rang throughout the ship. "Artificial gravity restoration will begin in 30 seconds. Please assume a safe position near the floor, watch for falling objects which may have become dislodged. To reduce disorientation, please refrain from moving about until the system is fully activated."

The Chief and Elrod felt their bodies settle onto the floor, then gradually become heavier and heavier as the system was slowly brought up to normal levels. When Lance signaled the all clear, both engineers sat up, groaning with the effort.

"It always feel stronger when they turn it back on", said Chief.

"Oh good, I thought it was just me", said the wolf.

"Is everything ok, Lance?", asked the chief to the empty corridor.

"The captain is understandably ill, but that should wear off in a matter of minutes. No injuries reported, but the galley is an absolute mess", said the AI.

Chief cringed, "So much for tonights soup."

"What about the toilets?", asked the wolf sounding slightly worried.

"The safety valves engaged immediately, and they were unoccupied at the time of the failure, so there was no 'damage'", replied Lance.

"Oh, good!" said the relieved wolf, "Be right back, Chief", he said as he pounded down the corridor toward the restroom.

Chief smiled to himself and checked his list of repair items on his data pad. "Oh no", he bemoaned, "Is that all that is left?"

"Afraid so, Chief", replied Lance.

"Can this wait until after I retire?", whined Chief as he trudged his way toward the cargo bay.

"Sorry Chief, you brought this on yourself", said the AI.

"I know, I know", grumbled the ferret.


When Elrod found the chief, he was inside the atmosphere positive Cargo Bay Three, carefully disabling the motors on the main pressure doors.

"I swung past the galley on the way back. Glad I don't have to clean that up", said the wolf shaking his head and making a face. "The whole place will smell like fermented soup until we get home and steam clean the place."

With a grunt of exertion, Chief disconnected the last power cable, then capped and locked it off, before dropping it to the deck. When he turned to the wolf, he found him stuffing small spherical objects into his mouth. "What are those?", asked the confused ferret.

"Cookies! Or at least they're supposed to be", he said while chewing. He tossed a couple to the chief and explained that they had been in the oven when the gravity failed and had come out as little balls of toasted batter. "And since they were in the oven, they were the only thing not contaminated by floating soup", said the smiling wolf.

"It must be bad down there", said chief as he popped one of the spheres into his mouth.

"I hope you like protein bars", said Elrod, "They might be all we get for awhile."

The wolf examined what the chief had been doing while he was away. "Why did you disconnect the pressure doors?" he asked, when he saw the large disconnected cables on the floor.

After eating the last cookie the chief approached a massive panel at the front of the bay and began releasing the catches on its door. "Because of this."

"What is it?", asked the wolf, dusting crumbs off of his hands

"The engineers curse", replied Chief in a dark tone as the door unlatched and swung open with an deep metallic groan that echoed ominously through the cargo bay.

Behind the door was a stack of horizontal meter wide palettes, each on telescoping rails which allowed them to be pulled out, so the arrays of relays and valves on them could be accessed. Chief unlocked one of the pallets and pulled it out from the wall until it reached its stop, then allowed it to pivot downward till it was nearly vertical. The exposed panel was covered with little fluttering strips of yellow tape.

He did the same for the palette located above it, though this time folding its hinges upward till it locked. Now a wall of yellow flags stretched from floor to ceiling. Elrod's eyes grew wide. "You have been busy", said the wolf.

"Not just me," replied Chief as he pointed out several blue flags and a couple orange ones hidden within the sea of yellow. "The blue flags belong to Reg, back when he was the chief engineer, before he became Captain. The orange ones predate him. All were put in place long before I ever came on board."

It's slowly dawned on Elrod that he was looking at over forty years of repairs. Patches, on top of patches, on top of patches.

"Engineer's law. You cannot remove another engineers flags unless your repair brings the system back to its original configuration, or your repair negates theirs", quoted the chief solemnly. "You are looking at a living nightmare. A hack which has withstood multiple attempts to repair it properly."

There was a small pop from the speakers in the cargo bay as they went live. "Isn't he a little young to be showing him this?", came Reg's voice from the bridge.

"He has to know what's out there. What he might find", replied the ferret.

"But Chief, this is bordering on abuse", said the captain, "I couldn't sleep for a week after I stumbled upon it. Just ask Lance."

"Actually you can't", injected Lance, "The only thing I have on file for this panel and Reg is him requesting that I forget that he ever attempted it. Which I apparently did."

"Come on, it can't be that bad. It's just an array of logic gates", said Elrod looking incredulous.

"Yes, logic gates that have so far stumped four engineers", said Chief.

"Four?", asked Elrod, pointing to the colored flags, "You, Reg, and orange. That's three."

Chief pulled out his flashlight, narrowed its light to a near pencil thin beam, then aimed it back into the panel where the pallets had been sitting. Attached to the bulkhead at the back were two wires, one black and one blue. Each had been severed and reattached to the other, blue to black and black the blue. Each was wrapped and flagged with white tape. Chalked in large heavy letters on the bulkhead next to them was the single word 'DONT'.

"Four. Nobody knows who wrote that. It might have even been the manufacturer. But that is the starting point", said the chief.

"Two crossed wires?" asked the wolf, beginning to think he was being put on, and that this was all some elaborate prank to play on the new guy.

"Yes, two crossed wires. They run the length of this cargo bay and connect to a single switch at the far end. That switch tells the system that the door is closed and sealed", said Chief.

"That's it? Just swap them back", said the wolf. The sound of Reg's laughter was abruptly cut off as he disconnected the audio feed from the bridge.

The chief handed the wolf his toolbox. "Have at." he said very seriously, "See how far you get. If you come out of this with fewer patches than before you started, you will have earned this", he finished, while handing the wolf a roll of green tape.


The next morning Reg found the chief in the galley munching on some dry cereal, while admiring the abstract soup patterns left on the floor, ceiling, and walls.

"How goes?", asked Reg, taking a seat opposite his chief engineer.

The chief just stared blankly.

"That well, eh?" replied the rabbit, "Well it's only been one day, and he's young."

Lance's image flickered into existence, standing next to the table. "He is doing well, inasmuch as he is doing it by the book, but we all know where that will end up."

Reg and Chief both nodded knowingly.

"I will keep an eye on him and make sure he gets at least minimal food and sleep", said the AI.

"Thanks, Lance. The last thing I want is Hender telling me how I am working him too hard", said the chief.

"And don't let it spread", added Reg, "Keep the blasted thing confined to the cargo bay."

"Oh gods", exclaimed chief, "Don't even joke about that."

"I'm not joking. If the path leads him outside the bay, it's done. No more. I'll have the entire cargo bay replaced before I let that spread any further through the ship", said the Captain.

Lances image nodded, "Yes, sir." then vanished.


On the fourth day chief decided to look in on his protégé, to check his progress and his health. He was not prepared for what greeted him. The pallets had been completely disassembled, their individual modules laid out on the floor with jumper wires running between each of them. Several strips of yellow tape had been removed and stuck to the surface of his toolbox but just as many, if not more, green flags had taken their place in various locations.

The young wolf sat at the center of it all, with the wiring schematics laid out before him. Chalk lines had been drawn on the floor between several of the modules, with scribbled notes next to many of them. It almost looked as though he were performing some arcane rite, or exorcism on the system, to rid the ship of this curse.

The chief smiled at that thought 'I should have tried that', he said to himself. "How goes it?", asked the ferret aloud.

The wolf startled, so lost in thought that he it had not heard the door open when the chief entered the room. "Fine, fine", replied Elrod in his usual cheery voice, now tinged with fatigue.

Chief knelt down to examine one of the modules. "You know this should be over here", he began as he reached to pick up a power relay.

"TOUCH NOTHING!" growled Elrod in an unworldly voice, that so startled the chief that he fell backwards onto his ass. "I know where everything goes", continued the wolf in his normal voice again, never once turning to face the chief.

"Why don't you take a break? Come down to the galley and share a beer with me and Reg?" asked the chief, as he cautiously picked himself up from the floor.

"You go ahead, chief. I think I've almost got this", said the wolf still staring at the schematics.

The chief backed his way out of the cargo bay. Once the door closed he shook his head and made his way to the galley, where he found Reg and Hender. After grabbing a tray of food he picked a chair opposite the Captain.

"And?", asked Reg.

"He's definitely got it", said the ferret while biting into some fruit.

"Who's got what?", asked Hender, worried that some disease might have gotten aboard.

"Elrod, the wolf. The new engineer's mate.", said Reg, "He has the curse."

Hender gave Reg a sideways glance, then turned the same look to the chief, who only nodded. "Males don't get the curse, they aren't equipped", stated Hender flatly.

Reg nearly sprayed his drink across the table, and only just managed to control himself enough to swallow, then devolve into a coughing fit. The chief just looked at Hender, utterly confused.

"The Engineers Curse!" Reg finally managed, once his coughing had stopped. "Have you ever treated a patient for an illness, only to have the symptoms suddenly change to something else? Each time you change the treatment, different symptoms appear?", asked Reg.

"I have never personally treated such a case, but some autoimmune conditions present like that", said Hender.

"Well, the engineers mate is currently treating such an illness right now. But it's the ship that is sick, and has been for at least 60 years." said the Captain.

The Raccan looked incredulous, "How is the ship sick?"

Chief and Reg took turns explaining the situation, and how every repair to the system simply caused another error somewhere else. Sometimes across systems that were not connected in any obvious way. While the initial error could not be found, it could be confirmed that each change being made caused the appearance of each new symptom.

By the time they were finished, Hender was rubbing her forehead. "I'm not even an engineer, and this gives me a headache."

Reg nodded, "That's what the kid has now. A headache brought on by logical paradox. Everything he has been taught is telling him that what he is seeing is simply not possible, yet there it is staring him in the face. It's maddening."

"And you attribute this to an unseen curse?", asked Hender, "Do you really believe in superstitions like that?"

Reg and Chief both looked at each other, then the Captain pointed to the religious icon the medic was wearing around her neck. "Do you?"


On the fifth day, Elrod wandered into the galley and found it empty. "Where is everyone?", he yawned.

"Most of the crew is asleep. Breakfast is not scheduled for another six hours", replied Lance's voice.

"Breakfast? What time is it?", asked the exhausted wolf.

Lance informed him of the current time, date, and year, just to be safe.

"Thanks, Lance" replied Elrod sarcastically, as he picked up a tin cup and dribbled the last of the left-over coffee into it. It had probably been distilling itself since yesterday morning and was noticeably thicker than usual. Cringing at its bitterness he leaned against a support pillar and closed his eyes. He could still see it all in his mind. The relays and modules with wires criss-crossing between them, the blinking lights that shouldn't, and the dead indicators that should. He lightly tapped his forehead against the pole in frustration.

Then a smell tickled his nose. 'Food?' he thought to himself. Opening his eyes, he was disappointed to see the pole he was pressed against was still coated in splattered soup residue. Part of him was half tempted to give the stain a lick, but then his eyes fell upon the notice board hanging on the galley wall. Usually the board was covered in lost&found messages, or pictures of exotic places the crew had recently visited, or more often, the exotic and scantily clothed people they claimed to have met there.

Now the majority of the board had been taken over by an intricate betting pool, with outcomes listed down the side, and the betting odds and amounts populating the grid. It took him a few moments to realize that he and his current task were the subject of the betting. There were bets on whether he would fail or succeed. Bets on how many days he would last before giving up. There was even a column suggesting that the job might kill him. The odds did not look to be in his favor, though he did notice at least one person had bet on him succeeding, though the bet was only for one credit, and the odds were one-thousand to one.

The smile that gave him was quickly wiped away by the next sip of the viscous coffee, which made him shudder. Invigorated by the potent drink, and the knowledge that someone had faith in his abilities, however small, he poured the rest of the black liquid down the drain, and returned to his task.


On the bridge, Chief was desperately trying to find anything to do, that would take his mind off of the activities taking place in the cargo bay, but morbid curiosity kept drawing him back to the security cameras. 'To make sure Elrod was safe.' he kept telling himself, though he knew it was a lie. The curse still had a hold on him as well, and this latest attempt to conquer it had only reminded him of its existence, and reawakened the demon that had remained dormant in the back of his mind. He wanted to be down there with the poor boy. To help if he could, to give him sage advice and prevent him from chasing shadows, or even just to let him know that he wasn't alone in his frustration.

A warning buzzer went off, accompanied by a blinking red light on the panel to the Chief's left. The figure on the security camera suddenly became very animated. Stomping around in circles while waving his arms about, it was obvious that he was livid. Even with the audio muted, the chief could hear the words in his head, as the wolf continued to flail and make rude gestures at the open panel. Then the chief cringed as he watched the boy haul back and kick his toolbox. It didn't move much. Tipping sideways and spilling some of its contents across the deck, as the wolf continued to howl and curse, hopping around on one foot.

"How many does that make?", asked Reg as he stepped onto the bridge.

"What?", asked the chief, startled at the captains sudden appearance.

"How many times has he triggered the pressure doors?", asked the rabbit again, pointing at the blinking red light.

"Oh, I don't know. I've lost count." replied Chief.

"Lance, what's the score?" asked Reg.

"The main pressure doors have been asked to open twenty three times since he started. The lights in the bay have gone out eight times, and the fire suppression system has been triggered twice", replied the AI, "There have also been fourteen separate unique anomalous errors which have not repeated themselves as yet."

The captain sighed.

"Why are you on the bridge, Reg? Your shift doesn't start for another four hours" said the chief.

Reg hooked a thumb toward the security monitor, where the wolf was now laying prone, pounding on the deck plates with his fists. "Couldn't sleep. Same as you." said the captain with a knowing glance.

The chief nodded and slumped back into the command chair.

"Do you think he will give up?" asked Reg.

"I don't know. I didn't expect him to last this long", admitted the chief.

Reg frowned. "As much as I hate to do it, I'm going to have to call a stop to it after today", said the Captain, "We reach port in two days, and I need that cargo bay to be back in operational condition."

The chief nodded. "I'll tell him. Then I will help him put it all back together."

Reg gave the ferret's shoulder a squeeze. "Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" he asked with a grin.

The chief smiled.


After his shift on the bridge ended, Chief went down to the cargo bay to deliver the bad news. When he entered the bay, he found most of the modules back in their racks with Elrod busily reconnecting the wires.

"Hey, Chief! I'm done. No more. I quit. I'm going to put all of this back the way I found it, and you can leave me at the next port of call." said the wolf. He sounded his usual happy self again, as though an enormous weight had been lifted from him, and seemed genuinely happy to be leaving.

"Wait just a minute. Nobody said anything about you leaving", said the chief, "You aren't the first engineer to be defeated by this..", he waved his hand in the general direction of the panel, "This.. thing."

The wolf slumped against the panel. When he looked up at the ferret, he looked lost, his eyes full of tears and shaking as though about to panic. "Its just a pair of crossed wires!" he whined before breaking down into sobs.

The chief pulled the wolf to his chest and patted him on the back reassuringly. "I know, I know", he repeated, "Let me help you get this back together, then we can both get some rest, ok?"

The wolf nodded, and the two men set to work.


Reg stopped in to check their progress just as the last module was being mounted to the rack. Leaving the wolf to weld it in place, the chief informed the captain that everything would be 'normal' again in just a few hours.

The rabbit nodded and had just turned to leave when a fresh wave of swearing erupted from Elrod. "Dammit! Reset the welder, would you Chief?" asked the wolf.

"Sure thing", replied Chief as he checked the device. The safety had not tripped, all of the connectors were tight, and there was still power to the unit. The ferret cycled the switch anyway. "Try now." he called to the wolf.

"Nope, still nothing", came the response.

Chief walked over to the wolf, who handed him the welding tip. The ferret shook the handle violently, banged it on the floor a couple times, then dragged the probe across the deck plates, but there were no sparks. He walked back to the welder and shook its chassis. There was still nothing, despite the display indicating that power was available. He was about to power cycle the unit again when Elrod gave a blood curdling scream which made the fur on the chief's neck stand up, and Reg came sprinting back into the cargo bay. "What happened?" shouted the captain.

The wolf was standing in front of the panel, both paws clamped over his muzzle, and his eyes open wide in shock. The chief and Reg both approached him slowly as he cautiously raised his hand and pointed a finger at the open panel. All of the relays were green and operating normally as they should be, and the pair of crossed wires at the back of the panel, had not been changed back yet. They were still wired 'properly', black to black and blue to blue.

"What did you do?" gasped the chief.

"Nothing! Since the welder was dead, I was about to manually crimp this last connection, when I noticed everything was green. But.. but.. the wires!" he shouted, still pointing a shaking finger.

"Yeah, I see it. Which wire were you crimping?", asked the chief.

"This one" he said, pointing to the tiny red wire which was only barely making contact with its relay.

"Pull the wire off." said Reg.

"What?", shrieked Elrod and Chief in unison.

"Pull the red wire off of the relay", repeated the captain, softly and calmly.

The wolf looked at the chief nervously and the ferret nodded. The moment the wire came away from the contact, half of the relays in the panel went red, and the photonic welder came to life, its probe tip arcing and sparking as it danced across the metal floor.

"Now put it back." said the captain.

Elrod reconnected the wire and everything turned green again, and the welder fell silent. Its display still indicating that it was powered up, but the probe tip was no longer attempting to weld the deck plates together.

"Now crimp it in place." said Reg, just as calmly.

The chief handed Elrod the crimping tool and the wolf locked the wire into place.

Reg then casually walked over to where the welder was plugged into its power socket, and jerked the cord out of the wall. All of the relays remained green.

All three men looked at the welder, then at each other.


"Clear a path! Make way!", shouted Lance's hologram, as it floated down the corridor like a ghost, in front of Reg and Chief as they pushed the welder along. "Coming through! Captain on deck!" Elrod followed closely behind, carrying the trailing bundle of cables in his arms.

Reg ran ahead, passing through Lance's image, and had the airlock door open by the time Chief arrived with the welder. The two men shoved the machine into the airlock where it skittered to one side, then fell over with a heavy clang. Reg already had his key inserted and the safety disabled when Elrod flung the cables in after it, kicking the tail end of one through the door as it was closing.

The moment the door sealed itself, Reg smashed the 'purge' button with his fist. The outer doors snapped open and the welder was sucked silently out into space, with its cables writhing and flailing about behind it.

When the outer doors closed, the chief and Elrod both slumped against the bulkhead panting. Reg was smiling to himself when he turned to congratulate the pair, but standing between them was Hender.

"Did I just watch three grown men, and an AI, throw a piece of repair equipment into space, in the hopes that it took some kind of evil curse along with it?" asked the medic.

Reg straightened his flight jacket, then kissed the tip of his finger and pressed it against the Tree of Life she wore around her neck. "Yes. Yes you did." he said with a smile. "Beer is on me!" he shouted to the curious crew members who had gathered in the corridor.

There was a loud cheer from the crew and everyone began to flock to the galley. Chief kissed his finger, and pressed it to her necklace as he passed, just as the captain had. Elrod made to kiss his finger, but thought better of it when the raccoon scowled at him.


That night, with the decades long nightmare behind them, the three engineers were finally able to get some restful sleep. Reg in his own cabin, the chief, strapped into the command chair on the bridge, with his feet up on the steering yolk, and Elrod, still fully clothed, sprawled across his bunk.

Lance, who never actually slept, never the less found himself restless. Calculating the mass of a photonic welder, combined with the ships velocity and bearing when it was ejected. Trying to figure out what planetary systems and gravity wells existed in its future path, and where it might end up.

Hender was also unable to sleep. She lay awake on her bed, idly toying with the silver talisman at her neck. As she felt the cool metal moving between her fingers, a tiny part of her was questioning how much faith she had in her own belief system, while the rest of her was busily trying to decide how she was going to spend one thousand credits.