Cheeky Digger - Commission for Flamesofsorrow

Story by Sir Thaikard on SoFurry

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#13 of Commissions

Yet another commission for Flamesofsorrow. Rarity is desperate need of inspiration and unable to secure help, sets out alone to an ancient temple to find a legendary gold diamond of epic proportions. Things however don't go as planned in a multitude of ways as the diamond has more than one thing intent on protecting it from unworthy hooves.


"I cannot believe you have the audacity to abandon me after you had promised your assistance! I have a schedule and product line to maintain you know!"

Rarity was furious, and her stomping around in the back of her shop was not putting Spike or Sweetie Belle at ease. They awkwardly exchanged glances before trying to soothe the belligerent pony again.

"I'm really sorry, I mean it!" When that didn't work, Spike tried again, "It was an accident that I burned someone while sending a letter to Celestia! And Twilight insists that I help that pony heal up before I can do anything else."

"What I want to know is how bad can it be?" Rarity was throwing things all over the room looking for appropriate adventuring gear. Already a pair of goggles were strapped to her head while a single saddlebag rested by the door.

"Umm... It can be pretty painful Sis..." No one noticed the filly gingerly rubbing her hindlegs together.

"And how would you know that? It's just a burn! We all have gotten burned by the sun or while cooking. It's not to the point where it would necessitate serious medical attention. Where did you even burn her?"

"The butt..."

"Oh the derrière! The most vital of organs are stored there! What would one do if they were to suffer a wound in their butt?!" The pony fished out a beige leather jacket and considered it in the mirror.

"Well, Twilight's going to be mad if I don't do it so..."

"Fine, go. I'll take care of this myself." She didn't even turn to watch Spike scamper out before he incurred anymore of her wrath. "I've been to the temple before, what's a few traps anyways?"

"How about you Sweetie Belle? Why are you so sympathetic? And would you be intere-oh." Hm, it seemed that her sister had already run off. Why was no one willing to help her today? How vexing.

No matter. Rarity slipped the jacket and saddle bag on and after one more moment of self admiration she set off. If you want something done right, you do it yourself.


The light was dim in the lobby of the ruined temple, making it harder to read the book she had borrowed. If the texts were true then there should be a second hidden basement within the structure which housed a solid golden diamond.

Was a block of gold molded in the shape of a diamond? Was it simply a giant yellow diamond? Perhaps it was a diamond that had been gilded. No matter what it was, it was certain to be shiny.

Perfect for inspiration.

Rarity grumbled to herself as she poked and prodded at the wall. If she wasn't reading the blueprints upside down then there should be a blocked off hallway here, somewhere.

If Spike or Sweetie Belle weren't so worried about hindquarter burns this wouldn't be a problem. They were excellent assistants who were excellent at grunt work and menial tasks.

Less excellent was the gunk and dust getting stuck into even the deepest grooves of her hooves. Ugh, she stamped about a little, trying to shake it out. If only she had managed to find her boots in time this wouldn't be a problem.

With one final stomp she sent a dust storm up causing a coughing fit. Ugh! She was about to give in to her frustrations when she noticed a plus side to her attempts at hoof cleaning. The tiniest specks of light were coming out of the floor where she had slammed down on.

Perhaps it was a staircase? She gingerly pushed the rubble aside and there it was, though it was more of a hidden passage. Barely able to contain her excitement she congratulated her genius and continued onward to the end of the tunnel.

And almost fell into a cavernous pit.

Skidding to a stop the pony gave herself a moment to catch her breath and slow her racing heart down. On one hand, she was grateful that someone else had taken the time to light up the surrounding torches. On the other hand, it meant that someone else had recently been here and was covering up their tracks.

Determined not to lose her beautiful gold diamond to a stranger, Rarity examined her surroundings. Pillars of rock extended upward from the darkness and were the only form of transportation across the chasm. Using her horn she threw a rock into the chasm and watched as it got swallowed by the darkness.

"Hmm..." Each pillar was a sizable distance from one another. As much she loved magic there were times when being a pegasus certainly had its advantages. Maybe she should have asked Rainbow Dash to come along, she liked adventures right?

But now was not the time for what ifs. She plotted a reasonable path across the bottomless pit and backed up. One... Two... Three...

She leapt to the first pillar and did her best not to look down. Swivel to the right and jump to the next. And the next. And the next. Just don't look down. Pray that the previously lit torches keep providing light. Jump to the next. Focus on the other side.

Jump. Jump. Jump. Oof!

Rarity felt the air leave her lungs as the miscalculated leap and resulted in landing stomach first on a protruding rock formation in the center of a pillar. Desperately she tried to resume some semblance of normal breathing as her eyes watered.

But hey, she made it relatively safely so far and it was almost over. With one final jump she collapsed in a heap, sending ancient dust and dirt in a cloud all over the place.

When she was done coughing at the nuisance the pony pulled her notes out. If her interpretations were correct then her prize should be close by. That is, if her mysterious interloper didn't get to it first.

She scowled as she knelt to examine the hoof prints in the dirt. Not hers, and these were fresh too. She needed to pick up the pace.

Though it might be a good idea to perhaps slow down for just a second. The pony grabbed a lit torch from the wall and waved it around. It was almost comical how predictable the next challenge was.

There were clear lines in the dirt where things had recently moved, holes in which dart and arrow traps could spring out of, and of course, the cracks in the floor indicated where something heavy had been dropped many times in the past.

What was this, amateur hour? Rarity half expected to see the half-mangled skeleton of a pony dangling in the ceiling somewhere. She tossed to torch into the center and watched it get eviscerated by a set of spears.

Amateur hour indeed.

She may not be as magically gifted as Twilight but that didn't mean she wasn't as competent as the unicorn. Trotting forward she sidestepped the spear trap and stopped the oncoming projectiles up ahead before they even left their holes.

"This is child's play! It's as if a bunch of idiots designed the security for this diamond! Were you even trying? I truly wonder if there even is any treasure at the end of all of this!"

Rarity waltzed around a pit trap and stopped right as a heavy weight plummeted from the ceiling and landed in front of her. The pony was hysterical now, laughing as she rolled, skipped, and darted through the rest of the hallway as if it were nothing more than a filly's obstacle course.

Finally, the end was in sight. A crumbling pony statue sat at the end with what looked like a bowl in its lap with a stream of fresh water draining into it from various holes in the ceiling.

A drink wouldn't be bad, she did exert herself a considerable amount. Maybe using the water to wash out some of the grime from her hooves would be a good idea too, the dust was sticking everywhere.

The last and final hindrance were a number of sizzling coal pits. Rarity smirked, really? There was plenty of space to step over the embers. She tapped the edge with the tip of her hoof, these were barely warm enough to cook an egg on.

Hop, skip, jump. Too easy. The finish line was just a hair away and she could taste victory.

And then everything went to shit, or rather, to flames.

A wall of fire spewed up from the cracks in front of the statue stopping her in her tracks. And from the back, pillars of ash were popping up. The pony paused for a moment, the first real problem of this temple had finally shown itself.

"I must have accidentally triggered something... Which means I just need to deactivate it..." Rarity traced her steps back and examined the bricks and tiles. Now was not the time to panic, even as the advancing columns of soot were transforming into pillars of flame.

Tiptoeing around the coal pits also revealed a sudden increase in temperature. Even standing at the edge she could feel an uncomfortable amount of heat blasting out. Had she been lured into a false sense of security? She bit her lip, this was not looking good.

But as she walked far away enough from the statue she noticed something interesting. The fire wall only went so high. If there was a way to climb up and over she might be able to escape unscathed...

The walls looked frail, and this was confirmed when the pony punched it. Running back as close as she dared to the flame barrier she began creating unstable but usable hoofhold and quickly scampered up, punching more grooves into the old tiles as she slowly ascended.

She patted herself on the back, bet the temple creators didn't think about such an unorthodox method of clearing this puzzle. She could see over the tongues of fire now, just a little higher and she'd be able to hop over the edge.

And then things really went to shit.

Perhaps the trap designer wasn't so oblivious after all, all the hoofholds that Rarity were so proud started to erupt flaming oil, starting from the bottom. Had she accidentally punctured the fuel line for the fire in this climb? This wasn't good, the flame pillars had fused to become more akin to a fire tornado and with no way down she needed to commit to a jump over the wall.

Rarity steeled her nerves, slapped her protective goggles over her eyes, and jumped,

She may not have been the strongest of the Mane Six, but she was still a pony. Rarity's hindlegs propelled her into the air but even from this angle she knew she wouldn't clear the defensive inferno.

In midair she began evasive maneuvers. Arching her back she twisted around just enough to feel the heat singe the skin before she tumbled over and collapsed in a heap on the other side.

"I made it? I made it! Of course I made it! Hahahaha!" Sure the landing was less than graceful but no one was around to witness it so it was her word against theirs. Her butt was a little sore and uncomfortable, but that made sense, given the unusual muscle usage and the landing.

The dust from the landing however had gotten everywhere. The pony set out to wipe her goggles clean as best she could while also wondering why the muscle soreness from her rear was not dying down. And what was that smell?

"Celestia! I'm on fire!"

Rarity didn't even need to look, she already knew. The barrier had readily seared her when she left her ass in it and now it was the only thing she could focus on. The sudden realization of pain and heat resulted in a series of unladylike screeches as the pony ran around in half-blind circles, her headgear never having the chance to be properly wiped.

Wait, the water, the water, the water! She scampered as fast as her numb legs would allow and dunked her rump into the surprisingly cold basin. Rarity was even more grateful that no one else was around to see her in such a state and simply relaxed as it soothed her scalded nethers. Tendrils of steam lazily puffed from her crotch and into the ceiling.

"If there's a goddess of irony she must surely be laughing right now..." The pony mused at how not so long ago she was having a conversation with her sister and Spike about this very scenario.

Still, soon it felt as though nothing had ever happened. The pony allowed herself a derisive sniff. See? She too had been burned in unmentionable places and it wasn't that bad, what was their excuse? With a hop she jumped off and quickly shook herself dry, there was treasure to be found.

But within a few steps a tingling sensation returned. And after a few more the burning pain returned with a vengeance. Rarity wobbled on uneasy legs and quickly darted back for a second cooling.

She sighed with relief but while there was some comfort the fiery torment continued to persist this time, as though the water was just muffling the damage. The pony wiggled about, as if to shake the pain away.

It barely helped. And Rarity was exceedingly cognizant that time spent in the bowl was time that she was giving her competitor to get to the diamond first. She made up her mind, she would just need to endure the pain for now and deal this burn later.

From the front, it looked like a dead end. But from her current vantage point she could see a number of tracks leading behind the statue. Another hidden passage? The pony hopped down, wincing at the landing and moved in for a closer inspection.

It was a crawlspace, just barely noticeable thanks to the way the torchlight shadows danced around making it look like a part of the surrounding mural.

Crawling around in the dirt was one of Rarity's least favourite activities. But being burnt had made it even more unpleasant as the movements caused additional chafing and she could feel the dirt getting into the scorched skin.

Grains of rock were already dropping into her butt crack from the roof of the tunnel, and they were aggressively rubbing against her charred cheeks with each forward movement. Not that below wasn't any better.

Bits of soil were smearing themselves against her vulva. While she had initially believed her genitals to have been spared, that was proving to be more and more incorrect with each second that she wasn't cooling herself in the water. A messy, grainy paste was now forming in-between the folds and was likely causing further inflammation.

Fortunately the tunnel just cramped and soon she found herself in a small altar room. And in the middle of the largest altar sat the golden diamond.

It was beautiful.

Even when viewed with a flickering torch it elegantly captured each ray of light, magnifying and expelling it in every and any direction. It was easily the size of her head and flawless no matter what angle she viewed it from.

But this was not the time to celebrate, there was clear evidence that someone had just been here. For starters, someone must have lit all these torches. And someone had been careless enough to knock over an urn, its contents lay freshly expelled and dusty on the ground.

There had to be a reason why the other individual didn't take the diamond first. Was there a deadly trap around the treasure? Was she walking straight into an ambush? Or was she simply being overly cautious? The searing pain in her bottom was not doing her any favours as she tried to analyze this little puzzle.

Screw it. She was already tolerating one injury, she could handle another. Skipping forward as fast as the discomfort would allow, Rarity reached out and grabbed at a yellow afterimage that rushed past with the diamond.

"HEY!"

Rarity turned and a yellow pony landed with dramatic flair, diamond in hoof. It took a moment to recognize the other pony without her iconic pith hat.

"Daring Do? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you..." The adventurer was handling the gem with surprising nonchalance. "I was hoping to engage with Ahuizotl here and now to stop his plot but it appears that it was just you."

"Ahuizotl? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He desires this crystal for whatever reason. And I cannot allow that."

"Welp, he isn't here. So if you'd be so kind Daring, I'd appreciate the diamond, crystal, jewel, whatever, back."

"I beg your pardon?"

Daring Do took a step back and hugged the colossal diamond closer to herself while Rarity approached. "I found it first, it will be wonderful inspiration for my new collection. Please relinquish it."

"Someone out there is trying to use this for evil means and all you can think about is hoarding it for yourself?! Do you have any idea what this is? The untold destruction that is capable with its misuse? Also, how did you find it first? I've been bunkered down here for days setting up an ambush!"

"And a lot of good it did you! This evil villain of yours never even showed up. If you won't use that diamond, I certainly can put it to better use."

"You can't be serious. I'm going to keep safeguarding it until I can be certain that it won't be misused."

"Trust it with me then!"

"How can I trust you?! Your intentions are selfish and vain! The diamond is going in the only safe place I know; my own home where I can personally keep an eye on it."

"And how am I supposed to trust you? Just hand over the gem before anyone gets hurt." Rarity was dangerously close now and her horn had begun to magically glow.

"I acknowledge your standing as a member of the Mane Six. However, I will not hesitate to fight you."

"So be it."

Rarity may not have been as magically inclined as Twilight, but that didn't mean she didn't have a few tricks up her sleeve. The words had barely left her mouth and a barrage of energy bolts lashed out at Daring Do.

The bolts didn't even have time to travel far and with another yellow blur the adventurer was in front of Rarity. And then the room was spinning as Rarity found her legs wiggled useless as she flew through the room. She landed hard on her back and all the air in her lungs were painfully exhaled.

"That was just one kick. You're in no condition to fight. Stop this now." Daring Do approached calmly and at the last second Rarity threw herself in a last-effort attack, only to be thrown over the shoulder and into an intricate column.

The pony didn't even have time to recover. A myriad of pain exuded from every part of her body, by the injury from the fire was the worst of all. A hoof pressed into her, pinning Rarity against the pillar.

"Enough. I'll be going now and taking this where it'll be safe."

And Daring Do was gone.


It took a while for Rarity to drag herself out of the altar room and back into the reservoir of cold water to wash out her scalded skin again. She sat there in quiet contemplation, perhaps Spike and Sweetiebelle had a point. This entire experience had been excruciating to say the least.

Daring Do had been kind enough to completely disable all the traps on her way out. So the pony sat there, there was no rush, not anymore.