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Limestone Pie was already up and ready before the sun was peeking up over the horizon. It was another day on the rock farm and with grim determination she strode out to begin the day's work. She was in charge seeing as The rest of the Pie family was off to visit Pinkie in Ponyville.

Just the way she liked it.

A number of orders had come in recently for pet rocks so today would be an exceptionally busy day harvesting and mining the various rocks in the quarry. She nodded stiffly to herself, nothing she couldn't handle. She had complete control over the farm and it would soon be hers anyways.

Even on a regular day distractions would not be tolerated. Which was why she found herself exceptionally annoyed to find something not only touching the family heirloom, but something outright sitting on it.

Resting on Holder's Boulder was a napping dragon.

"YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET. OFF."

The pony's shrill voice cut through the morning air like a razor. While the slumbering birds nearby fluttered away from being so rudely awoken the dragon just rolled over.

Temper rising she picked up a rock and flung it directly at the dragon's face only for it to swifty slap the projectile aside. It lazily opened an eye and stared at the rock farmer.

"Sup?"

"DON'T YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO ME. GET OFF!"

She threw another rock, and another but each missed or were brushed aside. The intruder regarded his assailant with an air of amusement.

"So, can I help you?"

"YES. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE?!"

"But why would I do that? This is clearly not yours."

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?!"

The dragon sat up and gently stamped on the rock with his paws, "Can't you tell you silly pony? This is actually a dragon egg and your family clearly stole it."

That did it, Limestone broke her own rule and jumped. Using Holder's Boulder as hoofhold she leapt up and attempted to swat the dragon off. But by the time she ascended to the top of the rock he was nowhere to be seen.

Confused, she looked around and found nothing. Satisfied, she jumped back down only to hear him again.

"YEE-HAW! GIDDYUP!"

He had somehow gotten on top of her, and was riding the pony as if she was some cheap ride at the fair. Limestone bucked in hopes of dislodging the wannabe cowboy but he merely timed his wing flaps to coincide with her movements, negating much of the force.

She spun around, ran in circles, jumped over some of the other stones, bucked again but to no avail. The dragon clung to her like glue and in all honestly it sounded like he was enjoying himself.

"GET OFF OF ME."

"WHOOOOOOOOO!"

Which only infuriated the rock farmer even further. So much that she didn't notice how dangerously close she was to a cliff at the edge of the farm until it was too late.

"Ok, I'm off now. See ya."

With a little push of his snout Limestone found herself careening off the ledge and crashing into everything along the way.

Groaning she pushed herself up and inspected her body for damage.

Fortunately nothing was broken, or at least, felt broken. Plenty of bumps, bruises, and a few scratches but she would survive.

Whether or not the dragon would survive her wrath was an entirely different story though.

Anger renewed the pony attempted to scale the steep cliffside, especially when she saw his stupid little head peek over and sneer at her. Ignoring the aches and pain Limestone roared as she climbed upwards towards the source of all her problems.

Normally the pony was grateful that the rest of the family wasn't around but even she could have appreciated an extra set of hooves in apprehending this interloper. The dragon flew into the family home and even from this distance she could hear the characteristics clatter of things being knocked over.

"YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE REPTILE. WHEN I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU!"

She grabbed the first tool she encountered on her way to the house and mallet in mouth she strode in to confront the trespasser.

Calming herself down as so to not alert the dragon to her presence she crept through the hallways as quietly as she could. Though she was having trouble controlling her breathing, she was basically fuming at this point.

"Nothing on the first floor... Where are you...?"

Cringing at the squeaky staircase up to the second floor Limestone did her best to check the bedrooms without giving away her position. And there, a giant lump under one of the bedsheets. Oh, so Holder Boulder wasn't a good enough place for you to sleep so now you're in Maud's bed?

Not on my watch.

Heaving the mallet as high as she could she slammed it down with a satisfying BOING.

Boing? Her confusion quickly turned to pain as the mallet slammed her back in the forehead. Limestone teetered for a moment before dropping her weapon and collapsing on the floor, nursing her new wound.

Even from this angle on the floor she could see the comically sized spring bouncing back and forth. A trap? With what resources? This quickly? How and why? She didn't have long to contemplate this as the dragon burst out of her sister's closet laughing.

Chasing him out the door while still seeing stars, she crashed into a door as she stumbled out to confront him at the end of the hallway.

"I GOT YOU NOW. NOWHERE TO HIDE YOU UGLY LIZARD."

She was seething, even more now because he didn't look the least bit fazed. He was about to get pummeled to an inch of his life and he wasn't even worried? Was he underestimating her? The mere thought made her blood boil.

"I think you need to cool off for a bit Miss Pony. Bye bye." With a snap of his claws the scenery changed and Limestone found herself in the vast desert next to the rock farm.

Tumbling through several sand dunes a cluster of cacti were kind enough to finally stop her descent. Also fortunate was that no one else was within screaming distance as their ears might have pickled from the vocabulary that she used.

Limestone had landed rump first directly into the mass of spindly needles and as she waddled away she continued to curse the dragon with each breath. She was doing her best to prevent the barbs from digging any further but all coordination was difficult also due to so many somersaults.

When she finally dragged herself up and out she collapsed on the ground, finally able to catch her breath. Her butt was sore and the needles had managed to dive deep between the cheeks but for the most part it seemed fine. A cursory examination with her hoof discovered nothing actually punctured skin or was sticking on so that was a plus.

Now all she had to do was make it back. Today was not going according to plan and this was just another wrench in the works. Her hindquarters were raw from the cactus encounter but she could still walk, albeit painfully.

"One step at a time Limestone.... One step at a time..." She used her rage to keep pushing forward. This indignity would not go unpunished.

---

By the time the pony found her way back it was approaching noon. Half the day just gone and wasted on this dragon nonsense. To her relief though Holder's Boulder was still in its same place when she got back to the farm. What wasn't good was the sound of running water from inside the family home.

Also the front door was locked.

If the other Pies had returned early they would have been worriedly looking around for her, not taking a shower. This could only mean that the dragon intruder was still here to mock her.

The stupid idiot hadn't taken the care to lock the backdoor however, and Limestone quietly snuck in. She could hear the humming of some insipid tune and confirmed that it was indeed him in the shower.

"SURPRISE YOU STUPID LIZARD!"

Even while injured she demolished the bathroom door with a single kick of her hindlegs. The dragon let out an uncharacteristic squeal as he scrambled to get out of the tub while being pelted with chunks of wooden door.

He hastily wrapped a towel and chucked the bar of soap at her, missing entirely. The pony allowed herself a cruel grin. He had nowhere to run now.

She lunged at him while he was trying to climb out. And when her hooves were inches from his face she slipped and suddenly found herself staring at the ceiling. As she nursed her head on the bathroom floor the dragon took the opportunity to escape, dripping the entire way out.

The bar of soap. A single, errant, bar of soap from the dragon's bath had allowed him to get away. How lucky did this thing have to be? When was she going to have something go her way?

Limestone's frustrations were beginning to get the best of her. As she stood she charged after him again, completely forgetting about the soap on the ground which conveniently got stuck in her hooves as she stepped forward.

"COME BACK HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!" She was gliding around the house uncontrollable, barely dodging every piece of furniture and sharp corner until she crashed. Groaning, she tried to stand only to find herself completely stuck.

"Looks like someone is in a bit of a pickle..." Limestone froze. The lizard was in front of her and a quick glance revealed she was somewhere in the kitchen. "I mean, how does one even get stuck the way you do? Are you stupid?"

"SHUT UP!" The pony strained to get out again but failed. Where was she? Why did he look so smug? Only when the metallic clang echoed through the kitchen did she finally realized where she was.

"Oh? Finally figured it out? Maybe now you'll show me a bit of respect." She was in the old wood burning oven. Somehow she had landed butt first into the oven and now her head was sticking out. What was with her and her butt getting her into all sorts of trouble today?

"DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN ME YOU, you, you..." The dragon only had to puff the tiniest plume of flame from its snout and Limestone was reminded of the predicament that she was in.

"You were saying? What am I again?" It wore that shit-eating grin on its face. The pony swallowed her pride as she slowly tried to wriggle her way out of the grating.

"Let me out Dragon." It was a good effort, all things considered with how furious she was. But it wasn't good enough. He just shook his head and smiled again.

"Please let me out. I'm, I'm sorry?" She was sweating now. Tiny tendrils of smoke were puffing up from under his lips and he was playing with the grate in the front. The squeaks of the hinge were growing more obnoxious.

"Nope. Try again."

"You! You, you are.... You are a... are a lovely dragon." The pony even did her best to smile. Forcing her lips upwards with the barest hint of teeth she continued to widen it until it hurt her face.

"Yeah no, I don't believe you." And with a fwoosh he ignited the oven and slammed the panel shut.

Immediately Limestone started to panic. Even though the flames hadn't quite reached her yet she could still feel the heat intensifying and smell the hair on her tail start to smolder.

"YOU DESPICABLE TADPOLE! YOU ROTTEN GECKO! YOU MONSTROUS NEWT!"

"Hey, hey. I thought I was supposed to be a lovely dragon?" He barely dodged the pony's spittle as she spat out another wave of insults. "Well, I suppose I can just do this."

Another plume of fire surged into the stove and this time, they immediately found their mark.

The direct inferno provided the pony with all the motivation she needed to finally force herself out of the top of the oven and into the kitchen. Screaming bloody murder she raced to the kitchen sink only to find that she was stuck just out of hoof's reach.

Half of her hooves were caught in, what was this? Tar? Molasses? Either way it was sticky and as she struggled to escape the burning sensation in her rear felt worse with each passing moment.

The dragon leisurely hovered nearby, watching with rapt interest as Limestone strained to free herself from the trap.

"You know, I think you need just the right amount of motivation to get moving. You know what I'm saying?"

"GO TO HELL!" She could smell her tail smouldering and her bum was definitely getting a rash, maybe some blisters. All this tension was not doing her any favours as one hoof was finally loosening up a bit.

He shrugged and with his next exhale a miniature tornado made of fire swirled on his nose. They locked eyes, her panic was clear as he tipped his snout and the whirlwind ignited the corner of the adhesive.

"Whoops? Did I do that?" The dragon's eyes were the very picture of innocence as the blaze crept closer and closer to the panicking pony. She could feel the tongues of fire lapping away at her already singed skin.

And then her entire rump was engulfed.

In Limestone's defense, the kitchen floorboards were already ruined and were kind of old. And what she did was still a fairly impressive feat. But the rest of the family would probably be concerned as to why the floor near the sink was now all ripped out.

With planks of blackening wood glued to her ass, the pony smashed into the sink and obliterated the faucet. A fountain of cold water sprinkled the area while the rest of the kitchen began to fill with smoke.

Coughing, the pony tried to angle herself to allow the spray to splash onto her burnt skin. But all it was doing was creating steam and dampening the wood. If she wasn't in such pain, the pony would have taken the time to maybe loosen the tacky substance and free herself but as it was all she wanted was some relief.

And then she saw it. Right outside the window, at the pump were perfectly good, full, buckets of cold water.

Her instincts kicked in again as she leapt from the counter and towards the door. Stumbling about in fear of the sizzling wood roaring back to life she punched the front door open and ran outside.

And got stuck in the door.

An incoherent stream of curses streamed out of her mouth as she continued to sweat and pull. The wood had effectively trapped her inside and after so much running around Limestone was finally running out of energy.

"I don't really ever get tired of this you know."

The pony panicked and before she could respond the dragon expertly incinerated the offending floorboard. With a loud snap the pony broke through and hurtled out, landing face first in the dirt.

It was a disgraceful sort of crawl as she accelerated towards the buckets of water. But she had more important things to worry about than her outward appearances. Like a butt that was on fire.

She tripped and sent the first bucket of water directly into her head. In the ensuing chaos all the other buckets ended up spilling over, readily soaked up by the thirsty ground surrounding the rock farm. However, one bucket managed to flip up and land directly on her hindquarters, finally providing the sweet relief she desired.

"You know, originally I just wanted to play." The dragon was somewhere nearby. Limestone couldn't see him, what with the pail on her head, but she could hear him just fine.

"If only you weren't such a jerk! I even lied about your stupid rock, it's nothing special and I don't even want it."

The pony didn't have the energy to get mad. Now that she had finally had a break all the fatigue in her body caught up to her all at once and she collapsed unconscious.

---

Limestone woke up with a horrible headache and prickling pain in her hindquarters. Everything seemed like an awful dream but the discomfort was definitely real. Twisting around she could see how her tail had become blackened and even from this angle she could see how red and raw her butt had become.

She'd need a mirror to get a better look. With a sigh she stood up, wincing at the pain, only to collapse back down.

She was back in the middle of the desert.

Gritting her teeth, she began the awkwardly limping back home. If that dragon was still there, he'd better be ready for round two.