Hades and Philos: January
#6 of Hades and Philos
Philos is feeling melancholy, so his husband sets out to bring him happiness.
My Queen's fifth month began with happiness, only to slowly descend into hidden melancholy.
I noticed Philos had often stared into the distance with sullen silence. For a while, I tried to convince myself this was only part of the beginning stages of the emotions we experienced each year. Each time we neared the end of our time together. However, I knew soon enough that his fallen ears and quiet mornings had nothing to do with him missing his mother or walking through a forest while the sun draped over his face. No, it was something else entirely.
I knew it one day when we were at our thrones. At first, Philos remained aloof at his post, confirming each judgement of a soul made by either Minos, Rhadamanthus or Aeacus. Then out of the blue, after listening to the pleas of an elderly vixen to be allowed to be with her dead children when they too passed, Philos suddenly began to weep. It started emotionless, then soft and finally loud with emotion.
My ears immediately perked high with worried, and I led my deer out of the throne room into a nearby corridor, ordering all servants not to disturb us.
"What is it, beloved?" My voice whispered, paws rubbing his back as I held him gently in my arms and close to my bare chest. "What troubles you so much, Philos?"
"It is nothing, Hades..." he hiccupped. "Please do not worry. I should not be thinking of silly things either way."
"Whatever you desire should never be silly," I grunted, caressing his paws. "What is troubling you this much, my husband? What has trapped you in such sadness, my love?"
"...I want us to have a cub."
My ears perked up high. "You do?"
"Y-Yes," he whimpered, "but I know it is impossible since I am male. No matter what I wear or how I act, I will always be male. Yet I still wish to raise a cub that is ours..."
My ears fell with seeing him drenched in sadness. Rather than torture my Philos any further, I brought him to our bedchambers for a blissful nap whilst I returned to the throne room, approving judgement as I pondered on our situation.
Me? As a father? Philos? As a mother?
The thought of us raising a cub did not sound too bad. As we lay together in bed that night, my arms draped around his body like a protective blanket, I pondered further on the idea. If our cub were male, I would gladly help him find his strengths in what kind of god he would be. The same would go for our cub if she were a female, though I would wholly believe she would be more inclined to follow in Philos' footsteps.
The very next morning, when a hint of comfort could be seen in my husband's eyes, I decided that we would indeed raise a cub together, and I would search for a way for it to be ours. I waited two days before venturing from the Underworld, leaving Philos in the care of Cerberus while I went to my younger brothers on Mount Olympus for advice.
To say they were surprised would be an understatement, yet Poseidon and Zeus did not hesitate to hear my troubles in the latter's andron within his palace.
"Why not simply take a cub from the mortals below?" Zeus suggested without regret. "When they become of age, simply have them drink ambrosia?"
Reclining into my pillowed couch, I drank once more from my cup of nectar, mixed with some fruits from my realm.
"Do not be crass, Brother," I rolled my eyes at the impulsive wolf. "It is not enough. Philos wishes to have a cub that would be our own in flesh, fur and blood. Another god."
"Hmm..." Poseidon mused aloud. "If you two were not gods, then it would certainly be difficult. However, even we have been able to change the genders of mortal furs in the past."
"Leto has accomplished one instance in Crete," Zeus remembered. "Big brother, have you heard of the tale regarding poor Leucippus, daughter of Lamprus and Galatea? They were too poor for a dowry, and thus Lamprus threatened to kill their unborn cub if it were revealed to be female. Fortunately, while Galatea's cub was indeed female, she gave her a male name and raised her as a boy, hiding the truth from her husband. Afterward, she traveled to Leto's temple and prayed for her daughter to be made a son."
"But what if it is only temporary?" I pondered aloud. "Philos is perfect as is. Maybe have him become a woman until after we have our cub?"
"Oh, I think I can discuss a possibility with my daughter Eileithyia," Zeus replied with a smile. "Her being the Goddess of Childbirth, she must know of a way to make such a transformation only selectively temporary..."
"However," Poseidon warned me, "there is such a problem for you, Brother: Demeter."
That alone nearly destroyed any hope I held. The Goddess of Fertility and the Harvest would rather let the world shiver into cold than let her offspring remain the Underworld, let alone become pregnant with the Underworld's ruler's cub. She would most likely have another temper tantrum and keep the cub with her, or maybe even stand her ground to renegotiate the terms of Zeus' agreement.
Even so, I did the one thing I prayed I would never do: I willingly went to visit her.
Rather than let my Queen worry himself, I told a white lie to the deer that Zeus wished to talk to me once more. Instead, I commanded my chariot of undead steeds to fly to the mortal realm. If not on Mount Olympus during the Winter, she would be found wandering along the coastline of the Aegean Sea, either near Athens or Sparta depending on the unknown levels of her solemn mood. If I wanted Philos to experience the joy of having us raise a cub together, one of our own flesh and fur and blood, I needed to ensure no harm or defiance would come from my mother-in-law.
"Afternoon, Demeter," I greeted her on the banks of the darkened coast. "I must speak with you."
When she saw me and did not cease her walks, I blocked the doe goddess' path.
"Demeter," I growled impatiently, "listen to my words."
"Get out of my sight, Hades. I will not ask again."
Rather than provoke a fight, I decided to get to the point. "Philos wishes for a cub."
If my presence hadn't earned her direct attention before, my words did now.
"What?"
"Philos has been somber these past weeks," I explained to her. "He wishes to have us raise a cub together, yet he knows it cannot be physically done. So, I have been speaking to Zeus and Eileithyia on Olympus--"
Her ears raised in alarm and anger. "What will they do to my daughter--"
"They might create a concoction that will temporarily turn Philos to womanhood, and thus, will be able to give birth," I further told Demeter without stopping. "It is up to my Queen if this is what he wants, but I must be guaranteed you will not interfere."
"..."
She did not speak for some time, her eyes switching between a deadly glare directed at me, and mournful helplessness.
"Should Philos agree to this proposal," I finished, "you will not harm the birth of our cub while he is back in your care. Do so, and I will make it my eternity's mission to--"
She gasped in insult. "I would never do such a thing to my own blood!"
"You and I both know that is untrue!" My tail bristled at every memory of her anger. "Ever since the first winter, you have made it a personal hobby to never acknowledge my marriage to your son. I have seen the hate in your eyes. I have tolerated it for long enough, but I will not let your jealousies interfere with the well-being of your grandcub!"
"...grandcub?" Her face suddenly softened slightly.
The only sounds that could be heard were the distant crashing waves nearby, or the western winds of Zephyros wailing across the seas. Sprays of mist hit the sides of our muzzles, but neither I nor Demeter looked away from each other. We could not determine what the other was completely thinking, but I understood the expression currently in her eyes: nostalgia.
"I take it you have an interest now?" I decided to sweeten such an idea for the doe goddess. "Imagine your daughter returning to you, not as a male in female's clothes, but as an actual woman. Surely the Goddess of Fertility will find benefit and joy in helping her daughter during pregnancy in my absence?"
"You really are Zeus' older brother," she chuckled shortly, closing her arms around her when a cool breeze passed us by. "But you are more convincing and subtle in playing to another god's emotions."
A heavier silence lingered between me and Demeter.
"It does sound nice, to help Philos during pregnancy..." she admitted, "However, I must request one final thing to accept the proposition. Agree to this, and I promise to never even think of preventing my daughter from giving birth to...birth to...your..." Demeter sighed. "Your cub."
I raised an eyebrow. "What is it you demand then?"