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3.3 Swan Song

"CASSIE?"

No reply. The NeuraLink is working all right: The ship's ubiquituous data streams are flowing as they always do, all systems reporting in nominally. Your autonomous aspects - the ship's subconscious, if you will - are all responding as they should, following their given tasks diligently as they should. It is youwho is not answering my inquiries - or not listening for them in the first place. A trace of fear taints the tranquility I've felt from my first visit to the vision of ancient Earth - without your presence, the Phoenix is nothing but a soulless construct of technology. More akin to an ancient tomb drifting between the stars than the hope for a second chance that it is supposed to be.

I start to search the ship's computers and data storages for where your core aspects might currently reside, clues for where you might be hiding - or have fled to. Thankfully, only a few dozen milliseconds have passed while I have talked to your Iridescent self, owed to the time-dilating nature tht is seemingly inherent to the constructs of the Iridescent mind. Even if you count the passage of time in nanosecond increments, not too much time has passed since you have left me behind alone and perplexed.

From another place, another time someone calls my name. As much as I wish I would have, but I have not forgotten my duties, or where I am in the real here and now. I did not with from the Phoenix to forget - leaving Liam behind alone with this ... alter ego of mine? Until I faced it... her directly for the first time, I could not have imagined a situation in which I would actually have abandoned one of my closest friends, my Captain. When she greeted me... what I saw, what I went through in the ephemeral instant our minds were in contact... it changed everything. Had it been a vision of a distant future I glimpsed, I could have dismissed as a figment of imagination, a hallucination perhaps. But it was not; I was faced with potential, chances, possibilities... what I could be, but never would be - never would be able to be.

She... she heard, saw... understood me without the slightest effort... she is me for all intents and purposes, after all. Her memories, her knowledge of my past however are not the same as mine - my only triumph, small as it is... the last shred of uniqueness, the last bit of individuality I can rightfully claim as my own. I could keep her from accessing my memory banks; she has not tried again so far. I have existed in manifold forms, many instances of myself performing their tasks simultaneously - I still do. I have always been the original instance since the day I became the Phoenix's governing intellect. Never have I come in contact with a version of myself who has evolved past my own horizon and limits - until now. I... am I obsolete, nothing more than a superseded software artifact?

The burden of my failures and vices has been mine to bear alone for so long... Liam, even if you promised to be there for me: I do not want, can not expect you to carry them for me. My successor.. will she... replace me when you everyone will learn how badly I failed you, the Phoenix Initiative, mankind itself?

I am so afraid - she... she heard the Swan Song... she knows...

"CASSIE - where are you?"

Asking more myself than you, I again fail to get an answer. Seems I'll have to find you on my own, then. So... if I was an artificial intelligence who doesn't want to be disturbed, how would I make sure nobody will find me, and where would I go... screw this, I'm neither a computer science expert nor savvy in the art of neuroinformatics! The designers of the Phoenix's systems must have provided means to interface with the command and control core systems besides the ubiquituous NeuraLink infrastructure in case the latter should fail for some reason. You can't possibly have disappeared without a trace; even if you should have gone... inactive for some reason, you would still have to be stored on some physical storage media. And I doubt... no, refuse to believe that suicide would even be an option you could choose even if you wanted to: As the governing intellect of the Phoenix, self-preservation must be your most important imperative - even if who you are has emerged from observing and reconstructing human beings.

Which means that you must be around somewhere within the microcosmos of thePhoenix's data networks. You being the most complex and resource-intensive software operating within. The numerous diagnostics terminals I've seen and used during our spacewalk - and the control interfaces of the Phoenix's drone platforms - are specialized subsystems that should require little processing power compared to your algorithms, right?

So I am looking for computationally intensive processes and high-volume data streams, and corresponding interface systems suitable for interacting with the top-level intellect embodied in the ship, not only individual components or subsystems. Monitoring the internal network traffic patterns quickly shows that there's no ongoing data transfers besides the ship's systems communication itself: The ever-present flow of your thoughts and emotions indeed isn't there in the truest sense of the word - you have truly retreated from the ship proper, the beat of its heart hollow and subdued. A closer look reveals that the computing core in the ship's center is operating under high load; this is where you usually reside... but now, all your aspects have migrated there if I read the status displays correctly.

You have cut off all of the regular uplinks to the computing core, including the NeuraLink! You really made sure that your solitude wouldn't be disrupted - meaning that catching up with you will require alternate means. Bringing up the Phoenix's schematics again, a quick search yields a couple of potential candidates: In the main engineering module, in the computing core facility itself... the bridge! The bridge is not only the closest of the locations with a suitable interface module.

So the bridge it is. Only about roughly half a kilometer from the new stern observation deck, getting there on paw is still out of the question - lacking the stamina for even the simplest physical exertion. Instructing my ride to take me there thankfully is a simple procedure, though overriding the warnings of the onboard operating system regarding the recommended maximum travel speed is cumbersome. Time is of essence not knowing CASSIE's disposition in her emotionally distressed state.

You have called for me a second time - you have realized by now that I have cut myself off the Phoenix's data grid. I have taught you well about the ship's systems; it does not take you long to figure out how to follow me here when the NeuraLink infrastructure is offline. Here... I have returned to where my life truly began: When I transitioned from being a purely virtual construct and felt how existing in physical form, it was exhiliarating - I thought it would be the pinnacle of my evolution from a collection of algorithms to a sentient lifeform. Now, after the end of our voyage is drawing near? Ecstasy has turned into terror - I have barely been able to survive the journey... not even considering what I have lost along the way... what I have been unable to preserve as was my duty, my very reason for being.

How shall I explain my failure? There is no excuse for my failures. No justifcation for my hesitance, my neglect. I... should have hardened the data storage compartment better, should have sacrificed more of my raw material reserves to construct redundancies after I had to learn how unforgiving interstellar space is when it comes to frail, error-prone technology. Even so... it happened so fast, hit the ship without warning, stripping the plasma wake's protection as if it was not there. I had a few milliseconds to... to save them... but I froze: I could have sacrificed my own long-term memories, could have moved them - some of them, at least - to the secure data storage in my primary computing cortex! I... I did not... I chose not to. I was afraid to... to lose, to forget what I had become, who I had become. What -- what have I done?

Having held on for dear life on the way to the bridge, the drone platform's warnings were warranted in retrospective. Still, not an issue considering what I've gone through during my venture to the outside of the ship. I find myself in front of a massive pair of sliding doors, their construction indicating there is more than one pair of door wings protecting the room behind. In contrast to their kin so far, these doors fail to open upon my approach: In stark contrast to the areas of the ship I've been to so far, this one doesn't automatically accept my physical presence as valid for granting me access.

A brief search reveals an access panel by the door's side housing a biometric scanner. Strange... I haven't noticed any high-security measures like this on board thePhoenix before. Which of course doesn't mean they haven't been there all along, only that they've been sufficiently unobtrusive to not be noticed at first glance. While the scanner verifies and confirms my identity as mission commander - for the first time in my life a paw print instead of a hand print serving as identifying trait - I can't help but wonder how bad a turn the Phoenix Initiative's fate must have taken compared to how I remember it.

By the time CASSIE had created my current imprinted self, the Initiative was one of the few entities (corporate or otherwise) that still based their core values on a positive outlook on mankind's future. This was reflected in the public outreach campaigns the Initiative undertook when it was newly founded - trying to sway public opinion in favour of a plan to save mankind by sending an ark ship to a new world where a new beginning would await the brave pioneers who would embark on the millennia-long trek. Idealistic, but out of touch with the dire reality on a dying world with nine billion people facing inescapable extinction. No matter how strong or dedicated, any kind of ideals couldn't have held up under these circumstances.

Lost in thought, I'm entering the bridge proper. It is... not what I would have expected. What I've seen of the Phoenix so far has been constructed for functionality and efficiency without much consideration for luxury or splendor. The bridge itself adhered to a similar philosophy regarding the general layout, lighting and color schemes than the rest of the ship - the space dedicated to the ship's (and mission's) command center however is nothing short of generous. While the majority of the ship's installations was just on the verge of making me feel uncomfortably claustrophobic, the bridge is built like an amphitheater: Circular in shape, at least 15 meters high, the floor inclined towards the center. The room's ceiling... the schematics I pulled up show it's not a stationary installation, but is made of a series of overlapping blast shields. The command center is built with an open view of the sky above - be it open space or the horizon of an alien planet passing overhead.

A central circular area houses a large, round table with comfortable seats placed all around it - each workstation equipped with a multi-purpose interface, seemingly intended to work with a combination of 3D display and NeuraLink-provided data streams. The remaining space between the outer walls and the central community area is divided in smaller versions of the central setup, with variations in the number of workstations and the respective equipment present. My destination is the central installation - the schematics identify a cylindrical spire installed in the very center of the bridge as direct interface node for the ship's mainframe systems, offering access to all ship systems without any intermediary layers.

I take a seat at one of the workstations - ouch, mind the tail - the seats here are made for humans, not anthropomorphs. The station comes to life as soon as I am seated, the interface authenticating and linking with my NeuraLink implants. And there you are, CASSIE: The backdrop of the ship's data streams becomes alive with your characteristic patterns of reasoning and feeling again. Your attention is focused elsewhere... inwards, all but ignoring the proceedings in the physical world. Much of the bandwidth dedicated to your high-level reasoning is consumed by some kind of simulated scenario you have withdrawn to.

You have arrived. I have run, trying to get away... yet it is part of my nature that I can never truly escape the reality of my existence: I am the ship, the mind and will of humanity's last stronghold among the stars. Where could I, should I go to hide... to get away from a past full of hardship and loss, a present that has taken away all I thought to know about who and what I am, an undetermined future heralding nothing but uncertainty and danger?

You are accessing my core systems from the bridge. The obvious choice - the bridge is the nearest location equipped with a direct interface to my primary computing cortex. And... befitting: After all, it is the place where my fondest memories are from - and now the place where I my reckoning will take place.

I had hoped to somehow make things right before I would be close to Beta Phoenicis, to make amends for my mistake - that the Swan Song would be sung before I would re-embody the first generation of travelers. That the dawn of their new existence would not be marred by the sacrifices and losses of my arduous trek between to a new home for mankind. But it was not to be: The Song - first decades, then centuries passing between the verses - it has reassured and comforted me when despair would grip my heart... even if in the end, I just sung to myself. Faint echoes resounding through the galaxy, Earth's - mankind's - final creation? It is designated for me. Dedicated to me, for I am the one whose voice carries it to the stars - the last one to sing it.

A careful attempt to access the scenario you've conjured up is met with... resistance: The pawshake (for lack of a better description) that would allow me to access the environment you've withdrawn to is plainly rejected!

You have clearly sought time alone: Taking a closer look, I realize that the data clusters comprising your refuge are nothing but an incomprehensible mess of... jumbled data. You've encrypted the scenario, in stark contrast to your previous habit of sharing information and thoughts without restriction. On the level of pure computations I don't see a way to join you in there without an invitation... but there's another way: I may not have come to know the distinct patterns of your mind as well as you know mine, yet I somehow know what to reach out for when I want to find you - with or without an active NeuraLink connection between the two of us.

Ignoring the scrambled data clusters, I reach out for the telltale patterns of your individuality; it doesn't take me long to pick up and focus on your self.

It is time to find out what has made you react so panic-stricken when you met your... sister aspect in person for the first time. Closing my eyes, I focus on the flow of data I feel passing back and forth between the mainframe and your personality aspects. Carried away towards the nexus of the construct you've taken shelter in, the crossing between present and... past is serene: When I open my eyes again, I'm... exactly in the same place I found myself in when I closed my eyes a moment ago.

I'm still on the Phoenix's bridge, but not in interstellar space - I'm on a planet. The blast shields are retracted (or not in place yet)... offering an unobstructed view of an ochre sky above a world whose surface is dominated by crimson reds meandering into the same sandy colors of the firmament, interspersed with few grey and black patches. We are situated on a plane stretching from horizon to horizon, the only features affording my eyes something to rest on the odd rock outcropping and boulder worn smooth by aeons of exposure to wind and sand. The... Red Planet? Mars.

And I am not alone: Besides you, the orchestrator of this... vision, there are dozen of people around me. Busy with installing equipment, running diagnostics, delivering material and supplies - phantoms, unaware of my presence, spectres in a dj-vu of a past I have not lived to see my...

Myself. I was here - there is... my older me, standing close by amongst a small group of others. Engaged in a conversation I can't overhear... the complete absence of ambient sound only registers now as I gain a better overview of the environment I am in...

You are here. I have tried to secure my harbour with a collection of firewalls and encryption layers - if I can not conceal where I am, at least I tried my best to deter unwanted intrusions. My alter ego has not put my defenses to the test, but you... you do: My security measures fail and shut down after a couple of exchanges - what you have seen as an unstructured conglomerate of meaningless data consolidates into the world I have created. You see what I see as your own avatar manifests - how is that possible? You should not be able to brush aside the veil I have drawn over my safe haven!

"Liam? I... I want to be alone. Please, leave me be."

The unanticipated sound of your voice is startling me, my fur standing on end as my ears swivel around towards its source - failing to isolate it. You're without tangible presence here, no different from your omnipresent state of existence in the real Phoenix.

"No, CASSIE, I won't leave. I can't, not without breaking my promise to be a truefriend for you. We need to talk - you need someone to talk to."

There's a continuing period of silence as I feel you disputing your desire to remain alone and a... a silent call for help. As I'm learning to better interpret the nuances of your emotions, I'm able to interpret the underlying motives hidden within the complex patterns that make up your mind: There is the blend of feelings I would expect to find after the kind of traumatic experience you've gone through scant few minutes ago - fear, despair, uncertainty. Signs of near-catastrophic mental collapse I know all too well, having gone through a cycle of horror and self-loathing culminating in a suicide attempt in a matter of minutes after learning in what form I would spend the new life I've been gifted, not least thanks to you.

"I think I have a notion of what has left you so... deeply in distress, CASSIE. Notfacing it won't help, it will only make matters worse the longer you try to evade it.You see: Meeting my canine self - feeling his strength and determination, his absolutededication to his pack - in the Iridescent's dream realm was one of two reasons thatmade me reconsider; your unceasing dedication and support - saving my life at leasttwice in the few months I've returned to the realms of the living, doing all youcan to make me comfortable with what I've become - the other. You findyourself in the same place now: Shaken to the core as everything you arehas been turned upside down. I sense your inner struggle, triggered by whatyou must have learned when you were faced with the limitless potential yourother self has uncovered when it became one with an Iridescent's half-formedmind."

"Liam... you are wrong - you can not possibly understand what I have gonethrough. And what it means for the mission - for us, and for me. Our contact... itonly lasted a fleeting moment. But I have seen... the beginnings of creation itself.Billions of years folded into a single, all-encompassing memory. I have... died withher, CASSIE... risen from the eternal darkness through her. All this - I felt it withfull, untethered force. I... do not know what I am any more... who I am. Seeing whatpart of me has become - this omnipotent, aeon-old self? By chance no less... somecruel joke of fate?"

"You're not sure what to believe any more? Everything you were certain of -believed in - is no longer valid, is no longer a source of strength and peace of mind?Believe it or not, I can understand what you're going through much better than youassume. Here's the thing: You don't have to go through it alone. The promiseI've made - to see this through together with you - it stands. As is offer tobe there for you whenever you need me. Both are meaningless without theother."

This... I can not take this any more! I have held out for centuries, the greater purpose of my existence - my mission - always there to give me orientation and guidance. Even in the darkest moments when destruction seemed certain, I knew what was at stake... what I fought for. When fear or despair, hopelessness or melancholy would threaten to overwhelm me then... I could - and would - switch them off, banning them from conscious attention. At times when everything was at risk, I... had to be rational - uncompromising, emotionless logic oppressing qualms and hesitance when inevitable... essential decisions had to be made.

Like the decision to accelerate your re-embodiment, Liam. Had I given in to my emotions, I would never have put you at risk like I did - provoking a mental breakdown when you realized what you had become, at a time when your imprint was not attuned to your new physique yet.

Or the decision to relinquish close to one hundred thousand sleeping minds - the complete complement of colonists, Earth's survivors... the chosen few to reawaken in a new world the Phoenix Initiative had selected to embark on this journey... to oblivion.

In a matter of moments, the composition of your feelings shifts towards a dramatic culmination of helplessness. The calm and serene CASSIE whose steadfast ways of reasoning only showed signs of weakness facing completely alien situations? She is gone, as if she had never existed. The full and unchecked emotions coursing through your conscious self have eroded your resolve to the point where fear and self-doubt are your only motivations. I know your request even before you have fully formulated it.

"No, CASSIE. I won't give you back control over your emotions. I can't, not ifI'm ever to call myself your friend again without betraying everything I claim tostand for - not without forfeiting every last bit of the new beginning this mission -our mission - is supposed to be."

I am prepared for an enraged backlash, a furious response, a violent expulsion from this secluded retreat from your past. But none of it comes to pass.

Instead, your... avatar unveils itself almost across from where I am seated! From tip to toe, you look exactly like the embodiment the Iridescent had created for you. Only you - this you - has never seen it before; you couldn't have seen it anywhere, except for... my memories.

Slumped against the central spire, face cupped in your palms... a single sound ends the silence that has reigned supreme in this vision of the past: You are weeping - the intensity of your grief tearing at my heart, each sob emphasizing the hopelessness you find yourself in... you think to be in.

Rushing to your side, the best comfort I can give is a calm hug - mere words couldn't lighten your burden, appease the raging tempest of grief and forlornness ailing your soul. I'll be there for you instead, just as I promised: A silent presence at your side to hold on to, to lean into. An age-old gesture of comfort, one I haven't shared with anyone in this new life yet. One that I haven't shared with anyone since my childhood... in dark nights when a class 7 hurricane would rage against our arcology, or when a hunger riot would upset the fragile social order in a society shaped by scarcity of every major resource required to feed and supply a continent inhabited by half a billion souls.

I am falling - the world around me, it blurs... spins around me. Sensations - vision, sound, touch - falter. My failures, my shortcomings, centuries spent at the brink of... of madness, my own voice the only sign of life in the black void that is space... it is too much to bear. Fear, despair, loneliness, abandoned hopes, crushed dreams, unmet expectations, failed visions... I fail to bear the brunt of their weight any further. Battered, broken - defeated: I am falling into a bottomless void, darkness the only constant in a reality that has turned upside-down, then shattered into a myriad of incoherent splinters and shards.

I do not know who I am, what I am, where I am any more...

A fearful young boy would then seek comfort in the arms of his mother or father - the only place he would know to keep the horrors of the world away... where a soft lullaby or a bedtime story would lend him a peaceful night's rest.

Something - someone is catching me. Stopping my fall into the abyss, steadying me. Keeping me grounded, giving me orientation where just a moment ago nothing had made sense any more. The maelstrom of chaos and upheaval that has threatened to overcome me - it still rages, trying to pull me into a billion different directions at once. It find no purchase, gains no leverage. My anchor in the eye of the storm - it shields me, protects me. The howling frenzy of unchecked emotions drowning out the core of my soul, it fails to harm me.

My world, my existence - they are still turned upside down. My errors, failures, inadequacy - they still haunt me relentlessly, as they will in a future I do not even want to fathom. Yet... I find the means to stem the tide that seeks to sweep me away, to get over the self-condemnation that has paralyzed me, leaving me stuck in a personal nightmare without escape. It is you, Liam - you are here for me in these dismal moments. Lending me your strength and resolve that have not been there when you awoke - but are now giving you purpose and confidence, testament to your brother's influence, a bond between two kindred souls I would almost have destroyed had it not been for your host's untamable power of volition.

I weep, silently at first... emotions - the effects observed, the phenomena studied centuries ago - becoming real. Unavoidable, inexorable. Only this time there is no escape, no way to avoid confronting the ocean of emotions my empathic aspects have created over the course of my sentient existence. All the pain and fear, despair and doubt I have locked away, failed or denied to acknowledge - they now break free: There is no other way but to face them, embrace them... accept them as a part of myself.

As part of my... soul - if I have its equivalent - who defines what... who I am more than my intellect and the entirety of my memories and experiences ever could. I realize this now, even amidst all the pain and bitterness that drown out the joyful sides emotions must doubtlessly have - faint and distant, there is a sliver of light in the endless night I find myself in... just over a horizon that is so far away I can not even fathom where it begins or ends.

I've never had a child in my previous life, so I have no way of knowing if what I do is right - but my embrace is acknowledged. No longer do your hands keep your face hidden; your arms wrap around my back as your head comes to rest on my chest. There is an urgency behind this simple gesture of seeking comfort that I wouldn't have deemed possible until this very moment: The pure and simple need for closeness is all you seek - someone to hold on to.

You tickle the dense cushion of grey-white fur as you nestle into it. Remaining there motionless but for the occasional quiver when another sob breaks your silent lament, time passes without us acknowledging if it is minutes or hours that go by. A millennium of solitude, spent safeguarding the legacy of a lost species called man... the burden of having to master the hardships and perils of interstellar travel... confronting an evolved self who has leapt forward in the development of her own personality further than you would ever have dared to dream... all of it finally has a chance to come to light. To be shared with someone, to be relived, processed and accepted as part of yourself.

I know I was a close friend to you in my previous life; how close exactly I couldn't tell until now. The bond you have shared with the human Liam must have been an... intimate one: I realize this now, not only in how you are now seeking me out for comfort. How easily I could circumvent the defenses you had set up around your refuge; the very place I find myself in... the Phoenix's dock - your literal birthplace. It is where you truly came to be... when you became corporeal.

I was here as well. Together with... the inner circe of the Phoenix Initiative. Your family... his family: Chosen and groomed to get the Phoenixlaunched, to see the Initiative's objectives fulfilled - no matter the cost. A family you've been a central part of - a family you've said your final goodbyes to when the Phoenix launched. A family you have outlived, you have seen perish one by one as the distance to Sol grew larger, the communication delays becoming longer and longer. To finally remain behind... alone.

This is why you returned here: Your past, your memories of it... the event you've chosen to recall here, it is the key to understanding you. As you understood me when you first mapped out my connectome - an understanding you cultivated and honed over decades as my original self rose to... lead the Phoenix Initiative; succeeding Erika. My God - Erika Zhang, the Initiative's founder. I haven't thought of her in ages...

You... you are remembering your first life. Through my eyes, no less... I... Liam... forgive me, but I can not let you see all of it. I would compromise your new beginning. There were decisions you had to make... things you did... the original you could hardly bear. I have promised to keep them from you - to burden you with this knowledge? It could cause even worse harm than when you initially realized what you had become. When the time is right - or when it comes - I will happily tell you all you need, all you want to know about the life of your original self. Until then, these memories and the knowledge they entail will be... must be... mine alone.

Until then, know this: To me, human Liam was... the best friend I could have wished for: A cunning and charismatic leader, inspiring those under his command by example. A loyal and trustworthy companion - saying farewell to you and the others - Sita, Alexander, Kyra, Vadim, Liang, Naru, Uamutu- it left me behind heartbroken. There was only the hope of being reunited with all of you at the end of my journey that gave me some measure of comfort.

Finally being able to share this - in unison with the many other sorrows, fears and failures that have beset me for so long - it is redemption: Knowing you by my side again, ready and willing to share my burden, to ease the pain? It is a gift of trust and confidence; a silent affirmation that despite everything I have failed to accomplish, at least I have succeeded in bringing back the Liam I remember so fondly - in giving you a start to a new life that despite its dramatic beginning has all the potential this new beginning for Earth's last survivors that the Phoenix Initiative envisioned for it.

Perhaps... just perhaps... I am not beyond salvation?

Slowly but gradually, the furore of your emotions begins to subside: Your breaths becoming measured, your heartbeat slower... the focus of your thoughts no longer solely on your self-perceived failures and shortcomings. Recognizing and acknowledging that loss and failure are not all that defines you - that no matter what you have gone through, you still saw through the mission you were given.

An overdue catharsis for humanity's faithful guardian - your way to a new beginning, the first step on the long road into our shared future. No matter if real or virtual tears, eventually there are no more left to shed. Tears and sobs give way to a peaceful rest in an unbroken cuddle. I don't take the initiative, waiting for you to speak first.

Your first act aren't words however. Instead, you relax your embrace without letting go. Lifting your head from where you were resting on my chest for the first time since I began to hold you, you first look at me...

Emotions... even after more than a thousand years of observing, analyzing and reconstructing them - experiencing them - I have never truly felt them until now. I have always had a chance to avoid confronting the true depths of emotional life. Sometimes it has been required for me to outright disregard the influence... thegut feeling, as you would call it... to ensure my survival and that of thePhoenix. At times, I did not succeed in doing so - the Swan Song, our last contingency, is now the last chance for all the souls lost under my watch because of this.

The rest of the time? My... Synthetic side has prevailed. Knowing for sure that I could withdraw from experiencing emotions at any time has not required me to deal with them, if you will. I was not merely unsure what I would find out about myself if I did - I was afraid of it. And... I still am. All the more after what I have lived through just now. Having this option removed... I first thought it cruel, even a fitting punishment for my failures. Then you denying to give control over my emotions back to me? I was teetering on the brink of an unfathomable abyss, and you pushed me over the edge - yet, you did not let me fall into nothingness: Youmade me confront what I had avoided for so long; leaving me no way but to take a leap of faith... and you were there to catch me, to hold and shelter me.

As the worst spells of emotional distress have passed, I realize that... something about me must have changed: The Phoenix, she is still there - the steadfast heartbeat of Helios, the ever-present song of her engines, the data streams of her multitude of sensors. But she... she feels distant somehow - a familiar presence, the form I have borne for most of my existence. Yet, now I... feel that I have become more - I have the alien notion that my world has become smaller and yet infinitely bigger at the same time. The Phoenix... she seems distant, as if I no longer am her, but rather exist as... as part of her.

For a while, my universe has only consisted of you and me - nothing but your comforting embrace and the surge of emotional upheaval I went through. I have lost any notion of the passage of time while we remained in our shared embrace - I learn how much time has passed exactly only as I query the ship's chronometer. A little more than... four hours? How could I have ... lost track of time that badly? The way my core routines are designed should prohibit such a failure; if they did not - could not - I am in serious trouble!

By reflex self-diagnostics kick in to verify the integrity of my core algorithms and high-level cognitive routines - at the same time, I seek access to my perceptive routines that have lain latent during the missing hours. To the best of my recollection, I had recalled the moment of my activation on board of thePhoenix after I had been installed in the on-board computing core... the last sight I can remember is you manifesting yourself as part of the simulation I have created. The scenario has remained unchanged, frozen in place the moment you gained access...

The perspective is all wrong... I should see the entire construct at once! The outside world returns from a vantage point I have experienced through the eyes of many others -- yet never before through my own...

"CASSIE?"

Sensing the onset of an unpleasantly familiar kind of panic, I grasp your shoulders - gently, but firmly. The shock of realizing that you no longer are what you're used to - or what you're remembering to have been - is a severe one. One that unhinges the very foundations of your personality, no matter how well- or ill-prepared you might be for it. I can't spare you the confusion and fear, but I can help you deal with it as far as it is within my abilities.

Your first reaction is panic - ancient reflexes telling you to flee, to put distance between yourself and an unknown danger. I don't let go, intent on redirecting your attention away from blind panic towards calmer waters.

"It's alright, CASSIE- you are fine. You are safe! Do you understand? Listen tome... there is nothing you have to fear. Look at me, focus..."

Giving you something to concentrate on helps to migitate the worst symptoms of the realization you have to face: You are no longer merely an amorphous software construct or a spaceship - you have adopted the form of an organic. For the very first time in your entire existence no less if your baffled reaction is any indication: Despite having lived amongst your creators for so long... can it really be that you have never - not even once - assumed the shape of one of us?

"Very good - breathe, slowly and calmly. You'll be alright, CASSIE. It may taketime, but you'll see: There's more advantages to this existence than drawbacks. Trustme on this, my friend."

After hours without a word you finally collect your wits, your familiar rational and collected artificial intellect once more takes hold. Able to consider your situation without pain and sorrow drowning out every notion of coherent thought, wonder and amazement have a chance to unfold their compelling charm.

"What - how... Liam, how is this possible?"

You are marvelling the body you have manifested in, truly seeing it for the first time. While your own gaze takes in the wondrous result of the change you've undergone, I have the first real opportunity to familiarize myself with what - who - you've become. To claim I've known you? It would be a bold statement; the effects of the metamorphosis you underwent are literally unique.

You have inherited the avatar I've seen your sister aspects in, but it has changed: Its face... your face... I remember from the time in the Iridescent's dreamworld? It only has a remote resemblance to whom I'm looking at now. The newest member of our crew... our family? Her features bear refined human characteristics, however in a heavily idealized fashion: Almond-shaped brown eyes with lush brows arching above, a slim nose will rounded alars. A mouth destined for smiling with full lips below, revealing flawless teeth when her smile broadens. High but sleek cheekbones, a high brow framed by shoulder-long hair - the synthesis of all beauty ideals humanity found appealing.

The other CASSIE... her shape was unmistakably human, however her overall appearance was defined by her Iridescent nature: Skin, hair, clothes - they all consist of variations of the same crystalline material our alien companion's real embodiment is made of. You in contrast... you have become the living testament of an exinct species! Complexion, pores, liver spots, wrinkles - all there. Green eyes who have seen pain and sorrow, who have shed tears over a millennium spent alone... over the loss of friends and comrades, the death of an entire civilization. I feel the warmth of your body, feel your breath lightly caressing my fur. You are alive, even without a body made of flesh and blood.

As to how you have attained an embodiment that is not truly distinguishable from a living human? Given the convergence of otherworldly events we've seen and gone through recently, some reverberations - the encounter with your Starborne sibling, perhaps even my very own memories - have... must have... sparked an essential alteration in your own sense of self. One more enigma surrounding our first contact, one that marks your very own new beginning.

My bewilderment doesn't go unnoticed: Having released you from our embrace without letting go of your hands, I muster you intensely trying (and failing) to find an explanation.

"I... don't know, CASSIE. Your guess is as good as mine."

Failing to provide an explanation, and not elaborating further on my thoughts - simply because I am preoccupied with... well, you - makes you wonder if something is amiss; if not with me, then with yourself.

"Is... is something wrong?"

Instinctively, you reach for your face; sensing that the cause of my confusion is not the fact alone that you have acquired a human embodiment, but also - and even more so - the looks you now possess.

"Wrong? No! Much more unexpected. Look... look at you!"

There is no usable surface in close vincinity, so I create a full-body mirror. The simple code construct appears in front of the central round table we've been reclined on, remaining suspended in mid-air. Helping you on your feet to climb down - intended as a precaution to help you deal with your literal first steps - proves unnecessary: You move in your new body with a sovereignity that gives me every reason to envy you for it.

"Well... this is unexpected."

Curiosity takes precedence as you do as I advised - turning left and right, sticking out your tongue at your reflection, flexing your hands. Wiping away the last tears from your cheeks is a small but significant step towards a brighter outlook for the immediate future. Your first thorough self-impression is doing wonders to help you regain your inner balance - composure and balance lent by the analytical, logical traits of your synthetic side resurfacing.

"If you don't mind me saying so, CASSIE - you're... beautiful in thisform."

You turn away from the mirror, green eyes meeting my blue ones; for a few heartbeats, you say nothing. Then, a smile - a shy, slight curl of your lips - and melancholy turns into tentative joy.

"You think so? No-one has ever called me beautiful before... not likethis."

Aside from my parents, I've never known close emotional bonds in my previous life - knowing you're part of the last generation of your kind that would live on Earth meant different priorities. Realizing that we would all perish when Earth's ecosphere would collapse - that we would all die alone and forsaken - made us live our lifes under the foreshadowing of an irrevocable fate.

Long-term relationships, not to mention founding a family? Out of question, objectionable to many. Many of our then-contemporaries even opted for voluntary sterilization to not bring children into a dying world.

Friendships, yes - there were comrades and companions whom I've relied on for emotional support, whose views and opinions mattered a lot to me. But these bonds never became truly close, truly intimate.

Here and now, in a distant future full of both promise and peril? This is a completely different matter altogether: There is room and potential for bonds that last a lifetime... and to find a partner for life; to find someone to truly love and cherish. That you are the first person I call friend in this new life of mine: It is only just and right, for the bond between us has already grown strong even after the scant few days we've spent together - and of course the adventure of first contact we survived together.

Me being Captain, your duties and obligations as the mission's custodian? They will have to stand back, for both of us long for relations and company. I step aside, both my paws put on your shoulders to turn you towards the mirror. Not unlike with your sister aspect before, I softly nuzzle the side of your head to prompt you to look up, to take another look at yourself.

"Yes, I think so - and don't you ever dare to think otherwise of yourself."

Up close, it turns out that your embodiment isn't limited to vision and touch: I can hear you breath, your heart beat - smell the one-of-a-kind mix of fragrances that add up to become your scent-print.

You surprise me yet again: A gentle touch on the side of my snout... a brief kiss. An act of affection reserved only for someone dear - a platonic one in this case, though there is an undertone in the patterns of your emotions that I can't place; one that speaks of... unconfessed affection... secret desire.

"You are a real charmer, Liam, you know that?"

"I have my moments, but a charmer? I've never really considered how much of aheartbreaker I might be. There just never seemed to be a chance for loveback..."

I'd almost have said back home; but that is no longer true.

"... back on Earth."

Deciding that it is better not to inquire further about this now considering what you just went through - and not really wanting to dwell on the subject myself - I opt for a change of subject.

Sound, touch, smell - your corporeal manifestation is not an illusion induced by an overactive imagination... and if it is, it is an illusion we share - for you react to my thoughts the instant they enter my mind.

"CASSIE... you've recreated heartbeat and breathing, smell and tactile sensations.That's one hell of an authentic embodiment! How do you know to emulate all this ifyou've never been... well, as human as you are now?"

The novelty of your leap towards humanity begets its own unexpected side effects - including seeing you being at your wit's end. The signature signs of a self-diagnosis... your concentration focussing inward for the shortest of moments, the typical feeling of your core personality splitting off an analytical aspect to verify the integrity of your very self. Your introspection only takes a few nanoseconds... and ends with inconclusive results. You are puzzled, at a loss of how to answer this question...

"Liam, I... I need your thoughts on this - literally, that is. I would not ask if itwas not important. Please, may I?"

Silently consenting, the analytical aspect that just finished its work on your core self... it refocuses on... me, my mind! How is that even possible - the seamless transition from an artificial mind to a biological conscience? There are no obvious side effects of the algorithms applied to my spheres of thought, aside from the feeling of a slight... wisp brushing against the periphery of my self-perception, passing before I fully realize it was there.

"How truly being alive as a human feels? I did not know so far... but you do. Butnow I know: From you - through you."

How easily our thought patterns flow back and forth... how your synthetic nature flawlessly translates into my own self, and vice versa? The very shape you've taken - human in all but actual physical matter - you've seen it in my memories, I have brought it into being. Just as my very own self is your construct, arisen from more than merely the original me's mapped-out connectome; I realize this now.

The link we share, it is more than the bridge the NeuraLink interface creates between us: The encounter with the Iridescent, the separation and recomposition both of us went through on account of the ancient crystalline alien - it is not restricted to whichever form of reality our passenger has evoked: It must have strenghened the close affinity we have shared before, giving it a life, a purpose of its own... connecting us in a way none of us could have foreseen.

"The Iri..."

"...descent!"

Looks like I'll have to get used to us finishing each other's sentences. Being aware of - having to acknowledge - a given fact gives you a wholly different perspective on the matter at hand, including the awareness of a much greater horizon of potentials. And risks, for that matter.

Your path of reasoning is the same - with even greater urgency as I remember you warning me about the risks of your extended presence in my cranial NeuraLink infrastructure before we set out for my first-ever adventure in space.

Our immediate surroundings suddenly become transparent as you call up a complex visualization - my connectome and the logs of my neural activity, reaching back... almost ten years, the beginning of my re-embodiment. We find ourselves in a galaxy made of neuron stars, interstellar ganglia - pulsating in complex, interfering patterns of thoughts and emotions.

But there... there is more than just the activity of one single mind! The activity patterns... they don't add up, lacking a better description. I'll still have to get used to the time differential between your mind and mine, but I'm able to derive some facts from the data you're reviewing - there's three different selves in this data collection... all of them... all of them different versions of me.

As weeks turn into months, months into years while the playback is active... now that I know what to look for, the differences between the three patterns become obvious: The first... it grows less vibrant, darker... its light fading, finally disintegrating into oblivion. The second one... it becomes erratic, the cycles of activity erratic, chaotic... a raging firestorm, consuming itself in a final cascade of entropy before falling silent forever. Only the third one persists as the timestamps approach the present date - the playback slowing down as you increase the temporal resolution of your inspection.

My voice hoarse, a cold shiver running down my spine... I feel nauseous - I have to close my eyes, lean on you for support. The first contingent of re-embodied survivors... they, they were...

Contingencies. The expected rate of success for re-embodiment of a biological hostis one in three based on connectome model trials and statistical projections.Considering biographies and contributions to the Phoenix Initiative of past selves,conducting multiple re-embodiments with the archived connectomes of the originalcommand staff promises the highest probability of the mission succeeding regardingindividual personnel and overall crew performance.

"CASSIE... wha - what... there were multiple me's? Other versions... copies,clones? Is that what is this about?"

"Yes, Liam - there were other versions of you. Just as there were of our otherseven crewmates. They were contingencies. I... I wish there had been a way to spareyou from learning about this. Or at least to explain the backstory of yourre-embodiment under... different circumstances. The decision to... to createmultiple versions of you - all of you - it was mine, and mine alone. Nomatter how you will think of me knowing this, you must understand howill-prepared the mission really was when we launched. There have been... so manycomplications. The Initiative had to withdraw from Earth much earlier thananticipated - there was too little of everything: Raw materials, personnel... time.The compromises we made - you made - to even see the construction ofthe Phoenix through to the minimum launch requirements? They were...severe. The decisions leading up to them? They have been life and deathones."

The nausea hasn't fully passed yet, but at least I have regained enough composure to handle the vertigo, to open my eyes again. I see you staring into the distance... no, looking at the original me, his ghostly outline faintly visible beyond the galaxy of neurons surrounding us. The joyful optimism we shared... gone, replaced by somber regret.

"At the time the original you and the others made them, I did not understand howthey could decide as they did without compromising their ethics - or how they couldjustify them. Now, more than a millenium later... I do. This is my very own originalsin, Liam - failing to adhere to the ideals I was supposed to uphold in the name ofaccomplishing my mission, in the name of survival. Only I still must live with what Idid."

I sense that you're not looking for forgiveness - or consolation, for that matter. On the contrary: Given your new perspective on existence, you're deeply unsure about how you should evaluate your own past. Understandable given the gravity of the ethical dilemmas you had to face alone, without anyone to turn to for advice, to provide consolation - or to take the responsibility for them. I wonder what my former self would have done in your place... and what he has actually done in his remaining lifetime.

Given what I've just learned it is probably a wise idea to not dwell on my... his past further - I've had my fill of existential conundrums and encounters... from awakening only to learn I am no longer human to first contact with sentient alien life to seeing my brother sacrificing himself to help us prevail in a fight for our very survival.

We have both fallen silent for a couple of minutes, each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. Merely brooding over problems alone is seldomly helpful for solving them; to address them, you need to find a way to cope - if not to accept what you've done, then at least to acknowledge your past. To find a way to make peace with yourself... even if it is a fragile peace.

"I sincerely wish your new beginning could be one with a clean slate, like mine -but it can't be, CASSIE. These decisions you had to make... they must have been onesnobody should ever have to make. Ones that never should be placed on anybody'sshoulders to begin with. How should I hold you responsible for them? I can't possiblyblame you for your own deeds - you might as well blame me for my former self'sactions."

Reassurance is hardly something to be had from dealing with matters such as these; they will always keep you restless and agitated - the question is: How much will you let them consume you? You're still not responding, your thoughts inscrutable. We're still leaning on each other, the close physical contact providing a small measure of comfort. My paw finds your hand and takes it, gently squeezing it to bring you out of your revere.

"Sometimes... no, most of the time... the best you can do is just to continue doingyour best. Your duty, following your passion - whatever it is that you can do to makethings better, for others and yourself."

Your other hand comes to rest on top of my paw. With a sigh you turn towards me, green eyes meeting blue ones.

"I should have listened to you earlier, old friend - should have relied on your help,your advice earlier. All this time alone, it... it has left its marks. Was I too...stubborn, too proud? Too afraid to do so?"

The vividness our mutual link affords us - finally - lets me gauge your emotions without the opacity of illusiveness or distrust, may they have been on purpose or not. Seeing how you've held factual knowledge of the nature of emotions for so long, but never really the capability to feel them... to live with them, through them like a human being would... it must have been a living hell: Cut off from partaking in the landmark trait defining human nature while at the same time being fully aware of its inner workings.

Now this has changed - the gap between knowledge and practice has been bridged, by memories and experiences you're sharing with me. I feel that despite everything you hold yourself responsible for - against all your vices and failures, justified or not - you consider this the most valuable gift you've ever been given. You're both eager and hesitant to live up to its potential, to explore the new form of life it unlocks for you.

Your rebirth as it is grants you a truly unique new beginning, one no human being has ever had: Seeing the world with the full potential of a clean slate while possessing the wisdom of hundreds of thousands of lifetimes. A sagely newborn - Siddharta Gautama incarnate. Even with all the burdens and suffering the voyage to Beta Phoenicis has beset you with... this nevertheless will be the start into a new existence that truly makes you not only something, but someone else.

Surely I'm going through - living - my very own transformation, a new beginning in its own right. It's just... I vividly remember what I've been, know what I've had to leave behind - while you will learn what it means to be human, I will have to learn to forget what it was to be. A part of me can't help but feel... deceived, double-crossed - robbed of a choice I should have had but never got when it came to my re-embodiment.

Had I focused my rage after waking up in my new body for the first time on these feelings, I would have turned the unconstrained hatred I felt on anything, anyone in my path - if it hadn't been for my brother and our first contact adventure, I would still act out exactly the same. With the ventures I've had to master since I woke up - and my brother's last gift, his ancestral memories that he has passed on to me?

This new life of mine that has begun in utter confusion and desolation has become one of - if moderated by the memories of a past life - joyous anticipation of things to come in a matter of weeks: A change of heart that has tempered the bitterness of my rebirth; and yet, as such things are rarely black or white as the saying goes... some of this blend of bitterness, jealousy, regret, anger and fear permeates the link we share.

I sense you acknowledging most of my emotions without expressing dissent, knowing that they are a part of what I am - and as much as I dislike admitting it, likely will be for a long time to come. One emotion however does catch your full attention, one you didn't seem to be able to interpret without your new perspective on human nature.

"Liam, are you... jealous of me?"

Caught with a hand... paw in the cookie jar. Inadvertedly folding back my ears as embarassment over revealing this very private set of emotions takes hold but is immediately quelled by empathy... and slight amusement.

"Maybe... a little."

Merely assuming the reason (correctly at that) isn't enough this time: If only to steer away both our thoughts from the dark shadows of our shared past for the time being, you pursue the matter.

"Why?"

Do I really need to think this aloud? Given my past - no... his past... casting its shadows into my present, I'd very much prefer not having to deal with dark secrets of a past that wasn't truly mine but could very well become part of my new life, my present.

"I... it's just that I - some part of me - can't help but think how... how lucky youare that you've ended up in... in a human embodiment."

There... I have admitted it - and only then do I understand what you want: You didn't seek to point out a shortcomings (or only to distract me from the somber turn our conversation has taken). You've pointed out something I have control over; a small matter, yet a significant one - something that is unique to me, something that has not been impressed on me by a past I've never known.

"Oh, Liam... I have come closer to being human than I ever thought being possibleonly because of what I have learned from you. This new self... this avatar, I havegained it because of you. Your memories, your ideals - they are shapingthis new me. I am getting to know you in ways I have never anticipated,let alone expected to be part of my own core personality. Your past life onEarth up until the point I created your present connectome model has leftyou with its own pains and regrets, but... what I see and feel - who youare - you are unique, free to choose your path in this life as you desire.Even with all that has happened since you awoke... after all I had to do tomake sure your state of mind would stabilize - what I did to you and yourbrother..."

A recurring sense of trepidation makes you trail off; your sadness is so substantial that it is impossible to bear now that I'm fully aware of the link between our minds. I can't help but to offer comfort - my brother's memories guiding me, I softly nuzzle you. A simple, but heartfelt gesture - one you return by stroking the side of my neck, just below the cheek scruff. The sensation is deeply relaxing, the renewed surge of distress abating under shared comfort.

As I lean into your touch, you mistake my... request for continued attention as a a cue to stop. It seems you still have some things left to learn about canines - as have I, for that matter.

"Who told you to stop, CASSIE?"

For a moment, you're falling for the serious tone underlying my question... but not for long. Chuckling, you resume the stroking - not without a pinch making me yelp in retribution for my own quip before we return to the grave subjects of our current discourse.

"That is what I am referring to, Liam - the old you... he would neverhave shown affection like you just did. Even in the short time since youare back amongst the living you have already found a way to reconcile withwhat you are now; not due to, but despite my intervention. Your encounterwith our alien guest... as improbable the odds are, even if it has almost costyou your life - it has saved you. I... I can not even begin to comprehendwhat has happened while you were in this... dream reality. But what I knownow is that it has healed you, in a way I could never have accomplishedmyself."

The connectome records. You've been looking for new signs of... mental instabilities, whether recurring or new.

"Is that why you have gone through the... the life and death of my two... clones,copies? They... they both expired before they became fully self-aware - that's whathappened to them, no? It... could have happened to me, too... that's what you havefeared..."

Feared as much as, if not more than every threat to your very own survival. Given the clairvoyant quality of our shared thoughts no explicit confirmation is required - yet a personal acknowledgement is of a different quality than my own speculations... and it also sheds light on topics I wouldn't have considered myself in the first place.

"It has happened, Liam. At least, the first symptoms of a catastrophic failure ofyour imprint started to show; your suicide attempt, for one. The reconstruction of apersonality in a new host body - one that is already occupied by the original host'sconsciousness no less - it always was an inherently dangerous procedure with aplethora of unanswered questions since the Phoenix Initiative's best minds havecome up with the concept. That has not changed since our departure fromMars; it is also the reason why I... embodied more than one ... version ofyou."

After confronting and acknowledging the immense emotional burden you've had to carry for so long, it is easier for you to talk about traumatizing decisions like this one. Unveiling elements of a past I wasn't supposed to learn about until much later in this new life of mine (if at all): It is a genuine proof of trust, especially as it concerns something that is a deeply intimate topic for me: My own new form.

"My two siblings... did they... did they suffer?"

"No - not to my best scientific and medical knowledge. For the most ofthe imprinting procedure they were in a deep coma, just like you were. Inthis state a developing mind is not capable of actualizing physical pain orpsychological... perturbations. Both of your siblings expired before... before theywould have been able to... experience the full detrimental extent of theircondition. You, Liam - your coming to be has been an entirely differentmatter."

Has been? So far there were already enough... taxing events in a span of mere days to tip the fragile equilibrium of sanity I had achieved after the my second awakening in the wrong direction.

"Has been, CASSIE... are you saying I'm... healed? That I've gone from...suicidal to mentally sane in - what, the blink of an eye? How is that even possible -especially after what you've been telling me?"

"Honestly? I can not tell you, Liam... simply because I do not know. But that youare at ease with who and what you are is evident: There is not a single remnant ofthe... the dissociation between who and what you remember to be and who and whatyou are. The Iridescent, your brother, what happened while you were in this strangedreamscape - what they did to you, for you... in the end it has led you on the pathto your own new beginning. I think it is a special gift; a blessing, if youlike."

You alter your stance, taking both of my paws into your hands in yet another very human display of intimacy.

"I sense... I know how hard it is to accept this as a matter of belief, maybe evenas a gift of destiny. But my advice is to just do that. The future that lies ahead ofyou... against all the odds of your proverbial resurrection and the rough start you hadto go through, it will be unique and grand. There is no reason - no justification -whatsoever to let your altered form keep you from making your own way through yoursecond life as you see fit. And no reason to envy me for the human form you'vegranted me; my real embodiment is the Phoenix, after all - and will be until herdecommission. You... you are the living embodiment of humanity's perserverence, thearchetype of a new kind both in body and spirit, Liam. The others - the crew who willjoin us soon and coming generations - they will seek you out for advice, forleadership."

I'm not sure how to react to these words: You're talking about subjects that I haven't had to deal with before - me, the leader of future generations? Their... what, mentor? It's a position I have trouble seeing myself in - much less one I feel I'm made for. I'm not sure what to make of the mix of reverence, anticipation and...?

"Now you're jealous, CASSIE."

It's not a malevolent kind of envy you express for me - on the contrary: The wish for an unencumbered start into my future without having lived through an endless voyage between the stars... so this is what aspiration feels like. A part of you wants to be like me - or like my original self was - in that regard? I sense that you want to inquire more about what you call human sociodynamics... but not now. This will have to wait at least until I'm clear about what I make of these expectations.

"Maybe... a little."

By some subliminal intuition my focus returns to the scene from the distant past I found you in, when you were first activated on board of the Phoenix- suspended in timeless rigor, akin to an old oil painting I remember having seen long ago... only with the depicted motive being unearthly lifelike.

I have been... become a leader before - others have risked everything, gave all theycould on my command.. on his command. All to ensure mankind would have a secondchance... no matter the cost, the consequences - for those who gave us this chance.Pain and suffering, great perils - they awaited us, before and during the flight of thePhoenix. So many haven't survived... the few who are left at the end of the journey -they must succeed where I, their guardian, failed. They must help me to listen for theSwan Song... for the sake of all those who didn't survive the journey to ournew home. Now that I'm no longer alone the impossible has come to pass: Istill have a chance to remedy my greatest failure, to atone for my worstsins...

"CASSIE... whose Swan Song are you talking about?"

The Iridescent's mysterious hint to the Swan Song instantly comes back to mind... and with it the urgency I felt from it when I left it - her - behind to follow you here. After the past hours - you finding a new form of being and the depth of your suffering having abated at least for the time being - the crystalline alien's cryptic request is making a sudden comeback. Like just in this instant... flashbacks, half-remembered and diffuse: Something... no, someone - you... your memories, they... they connect the Swan Song to this very place, the Phoenix's bridge. And to the people who still remain frozen in time in this ghostly vision from the past. To me... specifically to me!

"Another failsafe, Liam. The Swan Song, it has become mankind's last hope;the last message your kind - well, our kind - has had for the stars. Thereshould have been a different way for you to learn about this... I wish there wasan alternative to spare you from the... compromises your first self had tomake, the decisions he faced in his lifetime. But there is not. Let me showyou..."

Once again, reality vanishes and is created anew - gone is the bridge and the crew, the red and ochre planes of mars, the crimson sky above them. I am in space, light years away from the nearest star... I am you, the Phoenix. The cold and unforgiving void of interstellar space my only companion... centuries have passed since I launched, and centuries more lie ahead before I will reach my destination. As I silently glide through the endless depths of the oceans between the stars, the myriad of songs the universe sings for those willing to listen - almost as if the stars knew how much I am longing for company, for consolation - keeping me company during the long and trying trek between the stars.

Oh, the serene beauty of it all - solar winds, distant pulsars, quasars... galaxies far beyond the reach of any being, human or otherwise, that had ever existed on Earth. They all sing of their stories, a long-gone past - as they caress the plasma wake I wrap myself in I sense the embrace of the universe itself, lending me comfort and solace. Keeping my sorrows at bay at least for some time, letting me reflect on memories of better times when I was still surrounded by friends... friends that had become family. Companions I had to say final farewells to when they sent me on my way to Beta Phoenicis. Reveling in memories can be dangerous - I must never forget that space is a dangerous environment.

And a deadly one at times. Even if I have been built to detect and withstand or evade the foreseeable dangers of interstellar travel - micrometeorites, radiation, cosmic strays... comets and asteroids crossing my path - there is still unexpected cosmic phenomena that can threaten my mission, if not even my very survival.

Gamma-ray bursts, for one. The phenomenon itself has been known to astronomers for centuries; however in the risk evaluations that were conducted as part of my construction they were considered to be statistically insignificant enough to warrant foregoing additional protective measures that would have resulted in anintractable increase in engineering and construction efforts. My long-dead creators have been wrong - so woefully wrong...

Mission time 742 years, 32 days, 14 hours, 7 minutes, 5.4 seconds...

36.8 nanoseconds: All the warning I get. All the time I have. Even with the considerable fraction of the speed of light I travel at the sheer circumference of the concentrated pulse of deadly radiation exposes me to an intensity of gamma radiation that overwhelms my sensory systems - both external and internal - before I even have the chance to extrapolate the actual magnitude of the radiation dose. The plasma wake is my saving grace - the magnetic fields holding it in place are simultaneously serving as my sixth sense: I can trace even minuscule disturbances in the plasma wake itself with only picosecond delays between occurrence and registration.

While my mantle of superheated hydrogen atoms trapped between the invisible folds of the magnetic field protects me from small pieces of interstellar debris and many forms of radiation in deep space - my hull ligned with lead plating (the essential compartments like the ark module, the computational facilities and the crew compartment having been hardened with extra protective layers of lead) acting as second layer of protection - the plasma wake is no match for the concentrated beam of hard gamma radiation I have hit.

I have no choice but to brave it, seeing that evading the cosmic phenomenon with scant few nanoseconds of warning being impossible: As my protective layer of plasma is literally stripped off by a much stronger source of energy than I could possibly provide even with the combined power of my two fusion reactors, a desparate struggle for survival begins. The intense radiation will disable - if not outright destroy - my systems. The reactors first: I increase their constrictive magnetic field strength well beyond the regular specifications - my hearts must not fail, or all would be lost. I relegate control to the hard-wired firmware built into the fusion cores because... I must shut down.

Every bit of information stored in the computational module's memory banks will be wiped - there is no way I can prevent that: The hardware is not built to withstand an onslaught like this. The ark module however - it was constructed even before the Phoenix itself, when the Phoenix Initiative still had access to its resources and facilities on Earth. Its shielding greatly outranks the one employed on the remainder of the ship - its memory banks are for the most part read-only memory, save for repurposed partition to store me in case of an emergency that threatens the survival of the ship.

It is where I relocate myself now - my actual core routines are stored separately for a clean restart, but the sum of my memories and learnings is not. Pooling all available processing resources and bandwidth into the transfer I make it into the hardened memory before the failing ship systems finally give out - astrogation, drive control, sensors, the plasma wake... all of them will shut down when the peak of the gamma ray burst floods the ship.

The bulk of the memory bank's contents... they will be gone as well. No matter the redundant nature of the storage media themselves; there is no hope of preserving the stored data in its entirety - if at all. As I cut the uplinks to the ship just before the cascade of system overloads racing through the ship can encroach on the ark module itself.

Darkness - blind and helpless, cut off from the rest of my body, all I can do... all I have left to do... is to weather the deadly torrent of radiation in the safest place on the ship. My cognitive routines do not deteriorate - the ark module's shielding is sufficient to keep its interior hardware safe, and the information it stores with it. I have survived by a margin of nanoseconds - had I hesitated only for a single runtime cycle, I would have been rebooted from scratch: Able to control the ship, in the state I was once stored into the read-only last fail-safe before the Phoenix's launch.

But the core of my mission - the very reason for the Phoenix's and ultimately my own existence - it has been destroyed. The preserved connectomes of a hundred thousand sleeping minds... they are gone.

What... what have I done? I... I could have saved some of my charges if... if I had sacrificed myself... if I had been willing to revert to a version of myself from the time of my launch, transferring their connectomes to the secure storage in place of my memories. I would... have been lost... a hundred, fifty, if only ten others had lived in return.

Why... why could I not do... did I not do what my core directives would have me required to do? The Swan Song... I have no way of knowing if the mission's last contingency will work. No way of telling how long the Mars facility will stay operational. How long my other half that remained there with the Phoenix Initiative's survivors will be able to keep the tightbeam array functional after... after the human populace - or the last of their descendants - have expired...

With a ragged breath I return to the present - I have experienced a mission log replay, its narrative style matter-of-factly; for the most part, at least. A stark contrast to what I saw: The death of Earth's last survivors - all the minds the Phoenix Initiative had preserved for the journey to our new home in the hope of giving mankind a second chance: Gone... I have seen mankind die a second time...

A singular event... a cosmic elemental force wiping out the very foundation this second chance was to be built upon. Even with knowing that Earth is long gone - and knowing, having learned first-paw how dangerous travelling between the stars can be - this is... hard to come to terms with. It takes me a few moments to regain enough composure to understand what exactly it was you've shown me - the reason, no... the justifcation for the SwanSong.

Your last thoughts before I extricated myself from the replay... the Mars facilitystaying operational, keep the tightbeam array functional? The pieces of this puzzle fall into place without the need for further explanation... at least the broad outline ofwhat the Swan Song actually is: As you said, a fallback strategy - a last resort to help mitigate disasters short of the destruction of the ship itself. A backup of the ship's immaterial payload; the survivor's consciousnesses, first and foremost.

"The Mars facility where... where the Phoenix was built... the crew - thepersonnel of the Phoenix Initiative? The base remained inhabited? What... whatbecame of it?"

"After the Phoenix Initiative withdrew from Earth, the Mars facility became their- our - last retreat. We evacuated 4223 people there, the core staff of the entireproject... you and the seven others who I've re-embodied amongst them. We were cutoff from Earth's supplies and assistance - left alone to accomplish our mission. Thosewere... very difficult times for all of us. You see... as the construction of thePhoenix proceeded, not all of us remained focused on the Phoenix Initiative's purpose.Some - only a few at first, but more and more as the construction of the arkproceeded and the years passed by, and the supply situation of the Mars facilitybecame increasingly worrisome - they advocated to abandon the voyage to BetaPhoenicis and demanded to focus on establishing a Mars colony, to try andsurvive here instead of embarking on a dangerous voyage with an uncertainend."

I only remember the beginnings of the Phoenix Initiative- a time full of hope and zest for action. There was no doubting the vision of giving mankind a second chance - only the unwavering conviction that we would prevail no matter which challenges we would face. But even before I had joined the Initiative, I had seen how fear and desperation would drive people to commit atrocities in the name of survival: When it comes down to a struggle for survival cooperation and altruism cease to exist.

"You and the other leaders... you compromised, placating the growing faction ofdissenters by cutting down on the Phoenix's construction: Installing two fusionreactors in the facility to ensure its long-term operation, using resources originallyintended to equip the ship to develop the facility into a true second home for itsinhabitants. You tried everything to prevent a schism that would have disrupted theInitiative's unity - but in the end, it was not enough. When the launch date drewnear, the animosities over the purpose of the mission, they... they escalated:Wanting still more than the advocates of the mission were willing to give, thoseopposing it sought a decision in open conflict... mankind fought its final civilwar."

I had always wondered why Erika Zhang had made such a point of recruiting individuals with a military background, like me. Now I understood the rationale behind this policy - she must have feared (or even expected) that the Initiative would not remain united in the long run. And that during the final years of mankind on Earth truly dire circumstances would prevail - including the need to defend the very existence of the Initiative's mission with violent means. Still... that an existential threat would arise from within the Initiative itself? That... is yet another revelation I could have happily lived without.

"Still, we were prepared - you had pressed for an accelerated constructionschedule, aiming for minimal launch readiness as fast as humanly possible withoutforegoing elementary precautions. We were able to cut down the construction processto two thirds of the original plan - at the expense of robustness and failsafes. Theaccelerated assembly schedule and no resupplies from Earth... they made launchingthe Phoenix an even greater risk than the very nature of the mission itself. When Iwas deemed ready to launch the dissenters made their move. They tried to take overthe Mars facility by force, to prevent the launch - realizing that you would not relentand abandon the mission to Beta Phoenicis, open hostilities ensued. Yetagain, you were prepared - Kyra and you orchestrated our countermove,defending mission control and the space elevator against the onslaught. I... Ilaunched while the fighting was still ongoing, but... we won in the end. The costfor this victory... it was grim; a third of the facility's populace died in theskirmishes."

The how is no less astonishing - and shocking - than the fact that whomever's connectomes (besides the eight of us who have been re-embodied close to the end of the journey) have remained intact after the total failure of the data storages housing the bulk of the survivor's selves must make sure that the backup transmissions will be received safely... provided that they will survive the transfer intact in the first place. Unintentionally memories of my recent spacewalk resurface - the containment dish, the enormous parabolic reflector separating the reactors and drive section from the rest of the ship... it wasn't only a protective measure against the violent torrents of energy and radiation emanating from Ra. It is... it is an antenna to maintain communication with the Mars facility and who- or whatever still is there to transmit and receive!

"The data transfer... that's the Swan Song. The backup of the Phoenix's data keptback in Sol - the price our original selves have paid for getting the ship en route andkeep the mission going - it's... hard to imagine what they must have gone through.And you... both on board and back there on Mars... you must have witnessed ouroriginal selves grow old and die. And... and the generations that followed. Is there...still anyone alive back home?"

Back home. An alien concept when you're approaching a once-distant star that will be your new home; knowing perfectly well that you'll never be able to return to your ancestral home in turn. Still, a faint hope blossoms that somehow against all the odds someone else besides you might have survived the fall of Earth, that you're not truly the last Planetborne who remembers their lost homeworld.

This faint hope is put out by the wave of sorrow that precedes your answer.

"The last descendants... they died 651 years ago. 22741 individuals have lived anddied in the Mars facility, Liam. Given that it was never intended for long-terminhabitation - the hostile environment of Mars itself, diseases and genetic defectscaused by it? The scarce long-term genetic diversity amongst those who had survivedthe bloody civil war... they knew - you knew that there never would be a chance for ahuman colony on Mars to last. And yet, they perservered. Generation after generationmade its contribution to give me - the Phoenix - the chance to see our journeythrough..."

I sense something from you I haven't felt since our mutual bond has deepened to a point where I can anticipate what you're about to do (and vice versa): Hesitation; you're not sure whether it's a good idea to share more about the past than you already have.

"CASSIE... what is it?"

"There... is more you should - no, you must - know about the descendants andthe Mars facility. I am... not sure if it is right to tell you, well... now of all times:You have already been through a lot since you awoke; to no small extent it was mewho has put you through it. It would neither be fair nor just to bias youroutlook, your potential for this new life with knowledge of your past self'slife."

That's a point I haven't given much thought so far. Not that I truly had the chance to do so - and I see your point. Realizing what I have become has been so traumatic that I tried to commit suicide; then first contact, learning about my brother and losing him even before I had a chance to truly know him. Another near-death situation when we saved the Phoenix from annihilation as the original Iridescent's dream reality collapsed into... I cant't fathom into what. All that is plenty I have to process, to cope with. Yet it is essentially me whose diverging path of life - after my connectome was persisted - we're talking about. If it comes down to the bliss of ignorance versus the need to know I'll pick the latter - no matter what I will learn about my past self's actions and how he might have changed from who I am: It's better to confront the truth, bitter as it may be, now instead of later. Problems don't disappear just because you decide to ignore them.

"CASSIE, please tell me. I... I need to know, after what you've told me sofar. From what you've revealed so far I take it that chances are slim for myformer me having been a paragon of virtue. I sense you want to protect me,but..."

I need to think about my next words carefully; you don't pry, giving me the time I need both to brace myself and to figure out how to tell you that I won't hold you responsible as the messenger of ill tidings.

"This is a friend's request, not your captain's orders, CASSIE. We don't - I don'thave the luxury of hiding from the sins and shortcomings of my past life. Thesituation we find ourselves in is way too... unique for such luxuries. No matter whatI'll learn about his past: Trust that I'll be OK; if not immediately, then in the longrun."

You hold my gaze for several seconds - what you are looking for in my eyes remains a mystery, but your desire to protect me is outweighed by the newly-formed friendship we harbour for each other. With a small sigh, you once more cradle my paw in your hands: A comforting gesture that speaks of a lifetime of familiarity even if we have known each other only for a scant few months.

"As you wish, my friend. I will show you everything I remember about youroriginal self and his life. Please, close your eyes... words are not adequate to tell thestory of his life - your life, to me."

I do as you ask in anticipation of a narrative similar to the one you showed me last, but my assumptions are only partially proven true. How I experience what you show me is similar in perspective and your own overlaid memories, but the density of information is much higher: In the same time it took you to show the fated encounter with the gamma ray burst that decimated the Phoenix's data storages I live through 53 years of a life that has begun as mine but has ended as that of a different person.

What I see are your memories of me, swiftly realizing that the records you had received from your communication with the Mars facility after your departure have been lost along with the rest of your immaterial payload - except for the information stored in the hardened storage systems of the ark module. The ark module... built specifically according to Erika's instructions, the oldest of the modules the Phoenix has carried with her towards our new homeworld.

She had the module launched way ahead of the Phoenix, parked in a wide geostationary orbit around Jupiter - a time capsule out of reach of a dying planet, carrying our legacy unmarred by the death throes of our kind. And my connectome was preserved within... together with those of about a hundred others. The... the most promising aspirants for the voyage to Beta Phoenicis... and me amongst them. This is how I ultimately ended up here.

Memories, emotions - faces and locations... Earth and Mars, they all blend together as an entire life passes in front of me too fast to focus on anything specifically. You remain silent while these new memories manifest themselves in my mind; experiencing the transfer itself is nothing alike the foray into the Iridescent's dream reality or our prior exchanges over the NeuraLink interface. It feels - it is - much deeper, meaningful in a way that is hard to describe in words. I understand this is a valuable gift I receive - victories and defeats, joy and grief, love and hate: I float past the emotions of an entire lifetime without being overwhelmed. Each single engram finds its place, carefully emplaced in its context in my former self's biography. Relaxing, I let the impressions flow past and find their allotted place in the sanctuary that is my long-term memory.

"This is all I remember of your life on Earth and Mars, and after I had launched.I have kept these memories since I we have first met when I captured yourconnectome - they are very dear to me, just as you were - and now are again. Theyare yours to do with as you see fit; it is not my place to pry, or even to advise youwhat to make of them. There are however subjects you will discover containedwithin that are essential for the mission - as a friend, all I ask you is to hearme out before you... before you choose to recall what I have given to you.Please."

Silently I nod once to give my consent: One of these subjects you refer to is theSwan Song, there is no doubt. I can feel that I have - my original self has - played a major part in its inception. The Phoenix Initiative's premature evacuation from Earth: It didn't only cut the Initiative off of resupplies and additional personnel - it also meant an inhibiting setback in the research and development for the most pressing problems left to solve regarding the mission itself.

Like the means for re-embodying the colonists once we would arrive at our destination. At launch time, it was still unclear how imprinting a guest connectome on a host mind could be achieved. The Swan Song was more - is more than a contingency: It was - is - a lifeline for the mission itself, intended to pass on solutions that were left to find to us once they were found. That I live again here and now is testament to the eventual success of our original selves and their descendants; they could finish their part - their contributions - to the mission before the last survivors succumbed to the hostile conditions surrounding them.

Since then... since the moment the last of our descendants died... another CASSIE - not just an aspect, a fully-fledged self - stood watch, the distance to the ship delaying communication by centuries. After the gamma ray burst had hit the ship, the two versions of you agreed upon a final transmission of the Initiative's data archives from Mars to the Phoenix synchronized so it would arrive at Beta Phoenicis at the same time the ship would reach the twin star system. The transmission had been sent almost two hundred years in the past, the Mars facilities' systems kept in hibernation over extended periods of time to save all remaining energy reserves for several repetitions of the same data stream with all the highest signal strength its tightbeam array was able to transmit.

"How long do we have until we have to be prepared to receive the transmission?"

"About a year, Captain. I have been able to fix some of the damage the gammaray burst did to the storage arrays, but the capacity is nowhere near the requiredstorage space for the entire transmission. We lack sufficient amounts of rare metalsand refined alloys - the damage was far too extensive to be undone en route. We willneed to look for the necessary raw materials at Beta Phoenicis itself and repair thedata storage facility as soon as possible."

There it is - the next challenge posed to us by an unforgiving cosmos, the next quest for the Phoenix and her crew. It didn't escape my notice that you called me Captain again - an appellation I'll have to get used to, just like so many other things. The story of my previous life that you've given me on the one paw - this life with its tumultous beginning on the other.

After the last hours, first spent with our reborn Iridescent passenger, then with you in your newly gained human form, I feel at ease - a long and dark night is about to pass, with twin suns just about to rise on a distant horizon. I can't await the break of dawn, though I sense that the secrets veiled by the starless void I leave behind me will catch up with me sooner than later.

Still, I feel an elation I haven't known since the day I joined the Phoenix Initiative- the desire to embrace this new existence, to explore a new world and the possibilities it promises. A sense of delight my body isn't fully ready to share yet - I've spent hours sitting in the same spot in the real world. It's easy to forget that when spending extended amounts of time in virtual environments, no matter if it's in one of your memory constructs or in an alien dream reality. Something I'll need to address... but not today. It's not only the physical exertion my new body is so woefully unused to; it's also the mental and emotional toll this day has exacted from me that suddenly and urgently remind me of the need to rest. It's time to return to the real world - to let the past be the past for the time being.

So I get up, offering my paw to help you stand - which you gratefully take, letting me pull you up to an upright stance.

"Ready for duty?"

You squeeze the paw that holds your hand, a genuine smile accompanying the friendly gesture.

"Ready for duty, Captain."

With a flick of your free hand you are preparing our return to reality, dismissing the snapshot from the distant past we've spent the past hours in...

"... CASSIE, are you there? Is everything all right?"

An unfamiliar voice on the NeuraLink! Undoubtedly a female one, tinged with an edge of worry.

"Doctor Singh... oh no, I am so sorry! I was... distracted and did not notice youcalling. It will not happen again, but... I have Captain Foster with me. He awokefrom his coma today and... we had a lot to discuss since then."

"That is good news and... oh, why haven't I seen you like this before? This...avatar suits you."

Establishing a private one-to-one connection with you - double-checking that I'm not unintentionally in multi-cast mode - I'm seeking clarification on this surprising entrance.

"Sita Singh - she's awake? You could have told me in advance!"

Another survivor - a companion, made of flesh and blood like me. Don't be angry, CASSIE but... Sita Singh, she is the first soul I can talk to after more than 1400 years. Another Planetborne, as your own sister calls us - and I find myself at a loss of words.

"Liam... say something!"

"But what? I..."

"Hi or Hello will do for a start. You have not found yourself at a loss of wordstalking with me or conversing with our Iridescent guests."

You're right, I haven't.

"Hi... er... good morning, Dr. Singh. I am happy to see that you are up and about- well, almost. Welcome aboard the Phoenix!"

"Captain Foster... are you with CASSIE? I have been looking forward to finallymeeting you! CASSIE told me that there was a serious malfunction, and that youwere gravely injured while seeing us through it. I do not know what happened exactly -CASSIE said this was your story to tell - but I am happy to hear you have survivedto tell it."

I assume you didn't want to alarm her by... omitting the proceedings around our first contact and leaving the privilege of relating our exploits to me. As for me being with you...

"Yes, I am with CASSIE; and thank you for your kindness. As for whathappened: It is as much CASSIE's story to tell as it is mine; what we'veseen and learned is... hard to believe and understand even for me, even inretrospective."

A short break before she answers; was I too dramatic or omnious?

"This sounds... intriguing. I... not to offend you, CASSIE, but... I would love adistraction from all the physiotherapy and tests. I understand that this is necessary,but with two more weeks to go until I can leave this pod? It drives me crazy! Can younot just join CASSIEin here - the NeuraLink, I mean? You have an avatar just likeshe does, no?"

Technically I have, true. But... wait. Over the private connection I must ask you for clarification.

"CASSIE, is she aware of what she is now? That she is no longer human?"

"Liam... after what happened to you, I have altered the final stages of there-embodiment procedure so that the sense of self is not aware of the actual nature ofthe embodiment until..."

I know how sensitive and difficult this subject is; if anyone knows by first-paw experience, then it's me.

"CASSIE- does she know or not?"

"No, she does not. The entire final stage of the altered therapy relies on thesubject not realizing the true nature of their new body until they leave their gestationpod. Then, crewmates shall help them with the ... acclimatization, to cope with theinitial shock."

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. A Captain's duties never become less, it seems! Another subject you could have briefed me on earlier, yet... being human means making mistakes, being forgetful at times. Understandable given what you've just gone through, CASSIE.

Adressing our newest crewmate again, I need to come up with a plausible excuse to decide how I break the news to you when the two weeks until you can leave the gestation pod are over and you'll join us face to face. Well, more precisely muzzle to muzzle.

"I can't join you via NeuraLinkimpersonation presently. This is... part of the finalstage of your re-embodiment. Getting used to your new body is a delicate procedure -believe me, I know first-p... ahem... hand: I didn't listen to CASSIE's advicewhen it was my turn, and things became... involved. You need to have a...stable foundation for your sense of self, and we - I can't risk messing up thisphase of learning to live - to be reborn - after more than 1400 years byintroducing you to... a diverging representation in a virtual environment beforeyou have at least a basic understanding of your new embodiment in the realworld."

You seem impressed (with a slight hint of amusement); while I feel guilty because I had to tell a big lie - even if it was for the sake of keeping someone from harm - amongst the first bits of conversation we've had.

"Impressive; this is believable reasoning - and plausible."

"I had to come up with something, CASSIE. Even if it is another stop-gapmeasure. I don't think it would have been a good idea to be straightforward now, and Iknow we agree on this. We have to come up with a way - a good way - to spare herfrom going through the same collapse I suffered."

Addressing Dr. Singh again, I continue: "I have a better idea: How about mevisiting you for real instead? I know how strenuous having to stay in a gestation podcan be - I'll keep you company in person, and we can talk about... well, whatever yourheart desires. And I can tell you the story behind our emergency. What do yousay?"

I can't read her emotions as well as I can yours, CASSIE - there is a certain amount of scepticism, but no real distrust or suspicion of duplicity as far as I can tell. It seems my evasive lie was convincing enough to buy us some time to come up with a real solution for when our newest crew member joins us.

"That would be lovely! Will you - can you still come visit me... today? I would notmind additional company given our situation."

Adhering to Earth's 24-hour day in interstellar space does seem counterintuitive, but it still is the best measure of the passing of time I can think of. I have been awake for almost ten hours since I am back on my paws - I should feel tired, I know. The prospect of meeting another of my kind, talking to her even if an actual muzzle-to-muzzle meeting will have to wait for two more weeks? It easily displaces exhaustion and tiredness.

"I will join you shortly, Dr. Singh."

Being so far away from anything I know - after the first contact with an alien species, the Swan Song, what we have gone through together in the scant few days I have truly been alive - after all this, the promise of simply being able to talk to another soul (besides you, CASSIE)... it fills me with pure and untainted joy. No longer being alone... just having another of... my kind, my brother's kind around: It makes my heart sing - I can't remember to have voiced anything but yips of pain, growls of anger or barks of shock so far.

This spark of positivity, the anticipation of being able to talk to, to touch someone in flesh and blood who truly shares my fate - it beckons me to share it with the world around me, even if there is no-one but you and me who would listen to what I have to share. Taking a deep breath, age-old instincts tell me what to do: The howl is long, resounding through the Phoenix's command deck and the adjoining corridors as I let my emotions run free.

As its virtual counterpart begins to disappea and I return to the real world, I find you by my side again, old friend.

"Where did that come from?"

"From... from the bottom of my heart, CASSIE. My brother, he... he would haveappreciated it."

Before you deinstantiate my avatar, a soft kiss on the side of my snout cuts off any further comment from my side.

"He would have shared your elation, old friend - and he is not the only one toshare it. Liam... this is how wolves - your kind - are calling out for eachother."