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The Search for Sethis

Kilkaja

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** ** Despair. Pain. The colony was thick of it. It was choking me like a thick smoke. My empathic sense took it all and it overwhelmed me. It would be reduced to a crying wreck if it wasn't for the suffering around me. It used all the suffering to keep me strong, but I wasn't sure this tug of war would last. All this sensation was very new to me and I was afraid that despite all the help, this was the thing that I needed to conquer myself.

The pirates were still raiding Arkari and took many of the Vyrnians when the attack fleet from Orlonel came and disabled their ships. Many pirates were caught, and we seemingly won the day, until it was revealed that no Vyrnian hostages, not even their bodies, were found among the destroyed space pirate ships. We thought the Orlonel attack fleet was too ruthless, but there were simply none. The ships that took the Vyrnians departed into safety while the rest were used as a distraction.

This fact was the main cause of the continuing despair after the Orlonel fleet came. I wanted to help and try to ease their suffering, but I knew I would only be a nuisance. They needed to sort their loss themselves and among their friends, not me. But one erratic emotion stood above all else: Arcturus's.

As I taught myself to develop my empathic senses further, I could identify unique emotions, and right now, I homed in towards Arcturus's emotions. Something in his emotion did not make sense. It felt like two distinct personalities mixing and matching like a drink. No emotions could do that, unless he was being attacked.

I was worried, so I ran towards Arcturus's direction while Sel and Astha followed. We were trying to find the rest of the Saukauri survivors when I felt Arcturus's erratic emotions, along with a rather audible roar that only a Vyrnian could make. I ran and ran until I found the ruined square of Arkari where Arcturus fell to the ground, twitching and lashed around as if possessed. Andrates, who was also heavily injured, tried to move to his son, but Zarya stopped him.

"He got a seizure," said Zarya as she moved Arcturus into a more comfortable position. She then turned towards Andrates and said, "What happened here?"

The more I heard what the older Vyrnian had to say, the more I became confused. So, Andrates was responsible for everything, but at the same, he wasn't because he fell into a Trikelian control and was only saved by what the Vyrnian called a Burst. He then proceeded to explain that a Burst was an ability to quickly expend every last bit of stored converted energy in the body. This move was risky because one false Burst and they would end up sapping their life energy, killing themselves.

"But has it ever caused anyone seizures?" asked Zarya with a desperate tone.

"I taught my son how to do it and I did it a couple of times. Even medical reports did not indicate seizures. This is something else."

That was the source of the erratic emotions mixing within Arcturus. I quickly pointed this out to the others just before his eyes opened up and grabbed me by the throat. I started choking. Vyrnians may only have three fingers with one of them being opposable thumb, but that grip...it hurt me.

Sel tried to help me, but whatever's possessing Arcturus clearly had complete control of his body, and even beyond. I felt a strong killing intent from one of the mixed emotions and tried to warn Sel, but at the last second, the other emotion took control and quickly moved his fatal attack aside so it only swatted Sel. Even so, the strength was enough to throw her a couple feet away.

"A-Arc," I said as I gasped for air. "Fight it. Fight whatever's in your head."

"He must make the choice himself," said a voice that's both Arcturus and the other being. "That is his role...as the Visitor of our Realm."

"Who...are you?"

"A Shackled Beast locked out of its domain and stuck in this three-dimensional prison," it said. "His choice will determine your fate. Will he...reject me and doom you all or choose himself as my prison."

I knew the choices were clearly bad for Arcturus and for us, and this creature clearly got us. Realizing that we could do nothing, I said, "Arcturus...make a choice. Please."

Just then, he slowly loosened his grip. As I coughed for air, the creature said, "Wise choice, Domel Arcturus. Wise choice." A moment later, the glowing green eyes were replaced with Arcturus's peculiar yellow-blue eyes. He looked around and said, "What the hell was that?"

As Zarya talked to him about what happened, I sensed his emotions again. For the first time in my life, I could not sense his emotions. It was like a chaotic pool of emotions swirling around, completely obscuring Arcturus's real emotions. The being's influence changed Arcturus, and I felt uncomfortable with that. For me, hidden emotions and feelings were the truth. Now...the truth was muddled and even chaotic. Clearly, I could not comprehend that creature, and Arcturus was no longer readable.

Thinking that he needed to sort this thing out first, I checked Sel. She was hurt, but not too apparent. In fact, she seemed to only sustain the injuries she got before she was thrown. I knew she had not returned to life because she would be like new, and possibly changed her appearance much like how her eye color changed.

As she said she was alright, I turned towards Astha.

"Let's go find your comrades, Astha," I said. "They are still in this colony. I know they are."

"Yeah," said Astha. "But I'll be honest with you. I don't expect them all to be alive."

"We won't know until we find them," I said. "Stay optimistic. I had enough negative emotions for a day."

I couldn't bear to endure yet another despairing individual, so I kept Astha's hopes up. He agreed to it and said, "You're right. I won't know until I find him."

That's one of many that needed something to help them keep optimistic. I wondered how other Nuoevans could bear the empathic feedback from the suffering of others. Maybe our psychic powers countered the feedback, or maybe it's just me being more sensitive due to untrained senses. I had no answer for that then, especially because I felt compelled to help Astha.

We ran around the colony, witnessing death and despair along the way. Many of the captured pirates were rounded up and put behind force cages as the Orlonel fleet, along with the reinforcement from neighboring colonies, restored order. We found a couple of Saukaurs trying to help the Vyrnians, though because of the shock of this big attack, they were mistaken as pirates and got into trouble with the guards until we approached them and told them about this.

"I think it's how you dress," said Sel to Astha. "No one's going to trust someone who's not wearing pants."

"At least it's less constricting than that skintight suit of yours," he said. "Seriously, how do you bear that suit with that famous Felinian coat of yours?"

"It's a personal taste."

"Well, given that you've played the 'personal taste' part, I'll just back away and assume quietly," said Astha while shaking his head.

"Really, Astha. That big mouth of yours will get you into trouble one of these days," she said.

"Then it's not gonna be the first time."

I knew their banter was rather friendly than antagonistic, considering Sel's past with Saukaurs, but I could not help but think that maybe the tension might lead into something else that might affect me in a personal way. In other words, I started to think that Astha was passive-aggressively _flirting_with Sel, if that's the right word.

I wanted to tell Astha to back off, but I also think that maybe Sel did not think of me that way, especially not after that dinner date back on Lekan. I know it was just me being paranoid, but that's love for you. Given my own past and my unconscious need for friends who cared of me, I wasn't sure if it could work out. Trying to shrug it off, I asked them to continue searching for Sethis.

Arkari wasn't a big colony, so we managed to get around the colony in an hour. However, we hadn't start with the interiors. We found at least ten Saukaurs, with at least 2 of them seriously injured. Two, unfortunately, were fatally injured. They later died before help could be given to them.

The twelve Saukaurs accounted for did not include Sethis, so we started with the buildings when I overheard a Vyrnian talking about the Saukaurs inside the communication building. I was intrigued since he did mention two Saukaurs fighting against the Saukauri and Felinian pirates invading the building, which made me approach them.

"What happened to them?" I asked. "The Saukaurs. What were they doing inside the building?"

"They tried to contact help," said a Vyrnian. I knew him as the one who contacted the Vyrkaya. I think his name was Welfer.

"Then what?" asked Astha.

"We...don't know," he said. "There was a maintenance corridor behind the comm room that the pirates did not know. I led the other operators out while the two Saukaurs stayed."

"Who are the two Saukaurs? Tell me!" said Astha. I felt the distress in his heart. I knew he assumed the worst.

"It's Shennesi, the frequenter, and her acquaintance, I think. I didn't quite catch his name, but he looks like you. I almost thought you're him until I saw your clothes."

Astha had this shocked look and quickly ran towards the building. Welfer was confused and surprised by this. He, however, still had time to say, "Hey, wait! The guards haven't checked the building yet! There might be pirates in there!"

I could not leave Astha alone. I ran towards him, but I was stopped by the Vyrnian.

"What the hell's going on?" he asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"That Saukauri is his brother. His twin brother," I said, emphasizing on 'twin'.

"Twin? No wonder they look identical."

"Let go of me," I said, with a hint of persuasion. "Please."

Welfer seemed to understand and let me go, during which I ran towards the building with Sel following. The building was damaged by explosions and fire. It quickly became apparent that a bloody battle happened inside. There were dead aliens on the floor in various forms of death, ranging from being burned to being decapitated.

We caught up with Astha, who frantically looked around and climbed the stairs to find the main comm room. I knew he was trying to confirm that nothing happened to Sethis and the Saukauri girl he was talking about, but with the damage around us, I doubted they went out unscathed. I hoped they were not dead. Sethis was like the other side of the coin for Astha, and without him, Astha would be consumed by rage, much like Arcturus. Back then, I did not want to see people fall into despair, because unlike most of us, I would feel the pain as much as the person itself. My empathic sense was both a blessing and a curse, something that all Nuoevans did not really care about. I cared, because I vowed to not let suffering be my power.

Astha ran and ran, looking around to see where Sethis could be. Then, we reached the comm room, where the Vyrnians last seen him. He took a quick scan around the room before he said, "Fuck!" and smashed his hands on the console.

"Sethis is not killed, Astha," I said. "We didn't find him."

"How the fuck can you be so sure, huh?! I know my brother more than you are and you think you know what happened to him?!" he said as he glared at me with his reptilian eyes.

"Being erratic won't solve things, either," said Sel. "Astha, space pirates do not carry around dead bodies. They don't need their bodies unless they have a price on their heads. I may not know your brother, but I know pirates."

"Except your pirates is not like these pirates! Don't assume it's the same thing!"

"You don't know anything about pirates, Astha," said Sel. "And besides, I found his badge."

"What?" Astha looked at Sel and quickly grabbed what's in her hand. He looked at it closely, examining it as if he was trying to determine its prize. It was then I felt the despair in his heart slowly vanish, replaced with a sense of hope that was accompanied by a feeling of gladness.

"That cheeky shithead," said Astha with a smile on his face. "I guess I underestimated him."

"Uh...I don't get it," I said.

He turned to us and showed the thing in his hand. I recognized that badge as something Sethis wore on his armor back in Aurelis Three. I assumed that it was a good luck charm or maybe a badge of command since he was in the military.

"This badge is our 'link'," he said. "It's something each of us hold dear and promise to keep so we know that we're both safe. The only time it is not in our hands is when we are in danger and we don't know each other's whereabouts."

"So, there's a tracker in that badge?" said Sel.

"Part of which is one of his hood piercing," he said. He then pointed towards one his own hood piercings, which was a set of silver earrings (or hood rings. I don't know. Saukaurs don't have ears). "The half of this one. He knew something would go wrong, so he dropped this badge to show us that he's in danger or in peril. However, this badge is linked to mine. His tracker is linked to my receiver."

I did not know what he meant until he pulled out a locket. I never saw this locket before since Astha tucked it inside his armor. It was clearly different from the badge in design, but it was as personal as the badge.

"There is a catch, though," said Astha. "The trackers are low-tech so no one will suspect anything. If we want to boost the signal, we need a compatible interface, which happens to be a Saukauri hunter ship."

"Then point us to a ship and we can get on," said Sel.

"Okay, look," said Astha, holding up his hand. "My ship's back home, alright? Several light years from this planet. Also, this does not concern both of you. Seth's my responsibility and it's my job to rescue him."

"Oh, no, don't do this to us, Astha," said Sel. "Sethis's a friend and an ally. He's the first Saukaur I've ever trusted after ten years and I want to maintain that. Saukaurs like you two are rare to find. At least for me."

"My reason's...a bit more personal," I said. "I want to make sure Sel's safe and...to get away from Arcturus. Right now, that Vyrnian scares me."

"Besides, compared to them, we are less credible and shady," said Sel. "Kaj's a former slave, you're a hunter with an attitude, and I'm a former pirate. Not only that, I bet the only way to find Sethis is through criminals. The pirates are involved, so the only way we can get to him is through the black market. I still know some contacts that can be helpful and being declared dead helps with fake identity. But, uh...I don't like to do this. It's already hard for me to get out of that life. Now, I'm drawn back to it."

I knew what caused Sel's reluctance. She once told me that she met the Vyrkaya crew when she was almost killed of being exposed in space after her old pirate crew threw her of their ship because she was covering for others. I knew Sel had this rebellious nature of her, but she was not a bad person, at least to those who treated her in kind. Finding Sethis would require her to return to a life she managed to leave behind, especially since it would cause her to meet the reason why she got out of it in the first place: a certain Felinian pirate by the name of Michl Feper.

However, she was not going to do this alone. Aside from Astha, I would accompany her. It was true that I had nothing else to offer beside my empathic sense and my rather untrained psychic abilities, but it's better than nothing. Also...back then, I couldn't bear worrying about Sel or even got myself separated from her. You could call it an obsession, but in my defense, you did not get meaningful and personal interaction when you were a slave, so I felt like I needed Sel for support. It's not that I did not trust the others. It's just...I felt a connection with her. Not that I'd push George aside, of course. He helped me make that connection stronger. Also, she's pretty. What other reason I could give?

Astha looked at us and rubbed his fleshy hood. "Ah, well," he said with a sigh. "If you insist. The more the merrier, right? Besides, you're right. I won't gonna find Sethis without a little help at this point. Even hunters need pointers, too, right?"

Sel nodded as she smiled. I smiled, too. It seemed that we got ourselves a new journey of our own. This would be the chance for me to prove that I'm an independent Nuoevan capable of being good. It was the start of my own change.

I wanted to tell George and the others about this decision of ours, but I was still rather wary around Arcturus. He had calmed now, but after he almost choked me to death, I...did not want to be around him, not with the creature he chose to harbor. In fact, I could see his expression sometimes overlapping with the creature when he came to me to say sorry. I no longer felt safe around this black-scaled Vyrnian despite being his friend. It was as if his identity was no longer Domel Arcturus, but also the one calling itself the Shackled Beast. So, I kept away as I beckoned George to follow me to somewhere private. After we found a place. There, I told him my plans with Sel and Astha.

"Are you sure?" he said. "Not that I don't trust Sel and Astha in keeping you safe. I'm just worried that you won't be able to save yourself."

"I know I cannot fight properly, and my psychic skills are basic," I said. "But I am no longer the same Kilkaja you met on Lekan. I don't fear them."

"And they don't fear you. I am not talking about courage; I am talking about you. That world you're going to will see you as nothing more than a slave, and you just got out of it."

I already knew that. There's bound to be Nuoevans involved and they'd know that I'm a former slave at first glance, even without a collar to show it. At this point, I started to have second thoughts about going with them in the first place. But...there's also another drive that made my decision: the drive to prove myself. If I could not find it, I would not go forward.

"I may not have the necessary courage," I said. "And I know the world is harsh out there. But you know what? I learned that no matter how hard life is, you always find solace with your friends."

That sounded very cliched, especially when George pointed it out later. However, George saw something in my four eyes and smiled. He then patted my shoulder and said, "Then try not to get yourself in trouble. Find Sethis and get back to us."

Now that I finally set myself straight, I got a question for George. What would he do in the meantime?

"Me?" George scratched his hair. "Now that you say it, I don't know. Arcturus needs time to recover and deal with the creature. We also need to straighten things up with the colonists on Arkari about Andrates. Then...we'll try and find more allies to fight the Trikelians."

"You have anyone in mind?"

"Not...sure. Of course, I can't involve Earth in this. I have read the exploits of many heroes of the past, but I am sure that without magic, they wouldn't stand a chance. There is also the matter of their pre-space status. For this one, I'll just keep aside and let Arcturus and his dad sort it out."

"How about Xilna?"

"She will be ready to help. Not sure about the other colonies. There's going to be a lot of work for us and I feel like we're not ready."

"Then don't rush," I said. "Find your bearings. I know your heart's conflicted and slightly shaken after this. You won't win against the Trikelians without a strong heart."

I was never someone who gave a suggestion before. Given that autonomy was something new for me, this felt like a step forward, especially when George looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I can do that, too," he said with a smile. You're right. This is the first time I felt rather...uncertain. I might go home later, if I can. But...someone needs it more than me, and I'll help him however I could before I do. Earth's not going anywhere, right?"

He did have a point. George went and helped many of us cope. He helped me move on from my past, helped me find understanding with Sel, and now...it's Arcturus he's going to help. Humans have a tendency to help others. Even without empathic sense, they could understand feelings and tried their best to help others.

Knowing that George would make sure Arcturus recover, I said, "When the time comes, we'll meet back here."

"Yeah. Stay safe."

"You too. Oh, and George...thank you. For everything."

"Make sure it's not for naught, alright?" he said with a smile.

Clearly, he did not want all his hard work be lost. He saved me and gave me hope. Now, it's my job to make sure that hope stayed with me. No matter what the galaxy threw at me, I would face it. It's time for me to find my own path, starting with this mission of ours.

We told Arcturus and the others about our plan. While I still feel Arcturus's feeling and its unnatural state, I tried my best not to be intimidated. We couldn't borrow Zarya's ship either, so we asked one of the Vyrnians for a ride. He did not want to take us to the Saukaur's home planet, citing the risk of being caught in the civil war. He agreed, however, to take us to a safe colony somewhere nearby, and from there we were on our own. For Sel and Astha, it wasn't a bad deal, especially since he was still willing to get them that close. I wasn't all that sure, however. I did not know what's the state of the Saukaur's home planet would be, and I surely had no idea on how we could proceed after the home planet. Sel knew a couple of people from her pirating days, and Astha, being a hunter, was a good tracker. I had an empathic sense to tell if someone's hiding something or not, which became the most crucial ability during our search for Sethis.

I did not know what we would find, and what this journey would do to me, Sel, and Astha. The galaxy was big and still mysterious, and my journey's just beginning.

My only hope was that we got through this...and return to Arkari as promised.