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Greetings once again, my dear audience! Ah, for you, today, I have quite the delicious treat to share, yes! The story you find here was written alongside a commission I made from [url=https://bassybird.sofurry.com/]Bassybird[/url]. He is a most excellent fellow to work with, as I learned much about formatting and general collaboration talk with him, and a [b]fine[/b] artist indeed, as your eyes may clearly enjoy! Both of us had great fun and experiences with each other, and I wish him and his wife the best of luck on his future travels.

This, however, is the alternate, "less blushy" version. If your soul is but saucy enough to fancy a full body blush, [url=https://bassybird.sofurry.com/]I'd advise you to click right here![/url]

One more thing: Special thanks to [url=https://dukeferret.sofurry.com/]DukeFerret[/url] for his tremendous help in editing and vibe checking in the early stages of this story!

Right, then! [b]On with the story![/b]

How to Find the Last Jiggy

"I knew I shoulda asked what 'public indecency' meant first...."

Banjo already had his lips pressed firmly as his confusion had finally caught up to him. Sitting naked in the back of a taxi, his teeth chattered as he slinked further into the brown, leather cushions, peering out the window while his hands covered up his shame. The color of his own fur seemed to blend in with the seats nicely, but all the tan bits were now tinted in pink behind the darkened car window. He hissed as a thousand faces passed by in a blur...it was like they were already inside the vehicle with him.

"It's just going outside, doing all your normal stuff, except naked," Kazooie answered. "What's so hard about that?"

It sounded polite on paper, but her tone was far more sardonic than Banjo had prepared for. She sat with crossed arms to his left, mustard fingers overlapping while her scarlet feathers ruffled over her yellow chest.

His eyes narrowed. "Lemme check if it said something different."

She reached a feathered head into Banjo's trousers' left pocket, fingering around until she pulled out the crumpled piece of paper. Casually, she handed it back to the bear, his hands shaking as he unfolded it to the full sheet. To himself, he read the lines again, in their crudely scribbled words:

THE END OF THE PUZZLE SHALL BARE NO SECRECY

_ A MILE IN STEPS OF MALE PUBLIC INDECENCY_

_ ONLY FOR YOU, BUT EXPOSED FOR THEM ALL,_

QUARE CITY IS WHERE THE JIGGY WILL FALL!

Banjo crumpled up the paper again before handing it back to her, furling his brow as he looked back to the window. "I always hated poetry."

Kazooie took it gladly and stowed it back in his trouser pocket. Being a nudist already, this was hardly a challenge, but the honey bear proved to be a lot more finicky. He was fine about it at first, even supportive, but she knew he'd crack eventually. That's why prior to the drive, she had stripped him of everything: his trousers, belt, shark tooth necklace and backpack, and was now holding them for herself. Banjo tried to protest against it, but if they were going to commit to this, they might as well go the full way, and that was about when the argument between them ended.

"Well, you can't back out now!" she quipped impatiently. "There's no mistaking it! If we want to get to Gruntilda's Lair, you've gotta walk around naked in public."

Sighing, he solemnly looked back to her. "Well, uh...are you sure I can't be...'publicly indecent' with pants on?"

Disappointedly, she shook her head. "No, Banjo...that's like robbing a latex store with a water balloon."

He groaned and put his palms to his eyes. "But I just feel so embarrassed already!"

"And I feel impatient!" she quipped, motioning to the driver. "Here's our stop!"

The taxi cab skidded to a halt between two cars as it fit itself neatly by the side of the road. The startled honey bear leered backwards and looked out the window in shock. Not only was he about to be utterly humiliated in public, but that was the most amazing parallel parking job he had ever seen. How did he do it so eloquently?! Mind in chaos, he was so caught up in being distracted and anxious that he was hardly keeping track of himself. The worst mistake he made of the day was fidgeting with his fingers behind his back, because in a moment's notice, his wrists felt two binding rings snap and click around them.

"Guh-ho, whoa!" he exclaimed in surprise, whirling around. "Kazooie! I can't move my arms!"

"That's the point," she teased confidently as the car door on Banjo's side came rushing open, prompting him to whirl its way. "Can't have you coverin' up your nuts and bolt. Now, lean forward."

With that, he bent his head outward, like he was told. He was now eye level with the red avian's yellow pussy as he felt a ring of fabric travel over his enormous snout, down his face, and settle around his neck. It brought a wave of confusion through the stubborn bear's mind. When she backed up, he saw her full, naked body carelessly posing in the open air like there was nobody around. Seeing this made him instantly envious of her form. In her left hand, she held a green dog leash that formed a loop around her clenching fist as it led its further out to Banjo's collar. In her right, a belt looping around her fingers, which then traced his eyes up to her shoulder. Once he saw it, his stomach dropped. Draped over it was his trademark yellow trousers, held out proudly to everyone around it like a sash of honor. He whimpered for them back, but they remained unanswered as she walked by the passenger seat to throw a few bills in the driver's open passenger window.

"Just drive a mile down and wait!" she told him. "We'll catch you there. Come on, Banjo, let's get movin'!"

Like shutters, he snapped his eyes shut as he stepped out of the car, instantly blushing from head to toe when his bare toes touched the hard, gritted pavement. A little groan and a wince, he started leaning back into the car, but one quick tug from the leash around his neck was sure to put him in his place. He opened his eyes, and in an instant, he could hardly take it. The sight of the city was breathtaking - literally. The arrays of tall buildings stretching on forever were like towering billboards shielding him away from the forests beyond it. Its radiant, thick silver walls gleamed patches of sunlight that could've blind a man, and Banjo could've used that right about now.

Full of regret, the embarrassed bear trembled in his first full steps out onto the open city streets. The taxi's engine roared, and in an instant, became a fading yellow shape in a sea of concrete and nice suits. Banjo was already beginning to blush. As he walked, he felt hot with anxiety, feeling his six-inch flaccid penis flopping about like a rubber pendulum as the shame brought weakness to his thighs. And though he tried to keep his mind on the jiggy, he still could feel the discomfort of the warmth that toasted his crotch and bare buns.

And that was before anybody noticed him.

The boring bus stops and crowded bookstores made this one of the quieter streets. A head turn. A few shoulder nudges. Whispers. An amphibian couple with matching sweaters spotted his flopping cock, and shielded each other's eyes with a giggle. Still, nothing major. But the tension was destroying him inside.

"Jeepers creepers," Banjo mumbled, "what's with all the peepers?"

"I dunno," Kazooie wondered. "Maybe they've got a plane to catch."

"I just wish they weren't looking at me...." he said. "Why don't some of them look at you?"

"Maybe 'cause I'm the one with the leash?" she answered hotly. "Or maybe it's because they're too distracted by their damn phones."

"Oh...," Banjo mumbled. "That sure does say a lot about this society."

She went silent for a good while after that as she let Banjo soak in the exposure. At the same time, she was feeling it, too. But for her, the whole experience was freeing and careless. Like there was never even a mission. And on top of that, she gets to have a little fun with the guy who seems to want to use her like a weapon in battle. All those eggs seriously seemed to scrape up her throat overtime....

As Kazooie thought it over, she tightened her grip on the leash, and her smile grew far more erotic.

"Either way," she mused at last, "It's nice to finally have you by the throat, for once. "

Banjo gulped. "Y-you mean it?"

Kazooie shrugged. "I didn't bring the fuzzy cuffs for nothin'."

His lip quivered for a moment as he thought up another question for Kazooie, but he shut it quickly when he thought about the consequences.

They turned the first corner, providing a whole new line of gawkers and curious eyes, activating a hiss through his teeth. This one was far more crowded. His cranium ached as he fought to keep himself small and steady, as if he was anything but a butt naked bear walking down a city street. Not everybody was as distracted as they wanted him to be.

Keep it together, Banjo,_he thought hard. _It's not so bad! Maybe if I just stay quiet, no one will notice!

So, he tried many different strategies: slow walking, tip-toeing, shuffling...but no matter how hard he tried, there was still the problem between his legs. Each step made him uneasy as his long penis flopped around like hot salami, smacking repeatedly into his balls and thighs. He fought to keep back the words, but in the end, the words won:

"K-Kazooie...?" Banjo squeaked. "D-do you think they can hear my ding-a-ling?"

"Yeah, probably," Kazooie rolled her eyes, "Marcus Heckinberry already brought it up three times."

Nohomo.

The heat of embarrassment on his face was unbearable as the cars and chatter escalated, intensifying, the city beginning to take notice of his naked body. They had hardly gotten three steps before the jingle of the clothing store's door to his left sounded like a bomb. Out strutted a group of six adult avians, who all gasped the same way upon seeing the naked honey bear. Banjo grit his teeth as their eyes bugged out at him, their faces becoming flushed and amazed.

Sweat dripped from his chest and his belly to soak his fur while a rising lump in his throat told him his dignity was running thin. With every fiber of his being, he wanted to hold it back. But in the end, he just couldn't take it:

"D-DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEEE!!!"

Kazooie rolled her eyes the moment she heard it. In seconds, there was chaos in the streets, seemingly increasing the humidity of the outdoors as the attention of onlookers from the sidewalks and vehicles was hijacked. Couples talking, payphones buzzing, cars honking, it seemed that all the attention was turning towards him. In one fell swoop, he had the whole side of the street laughing, groaning, yelling and asking questions.

Banjo twisted his knees, pulling back against the leash, only to be tugged at once again down the populated sidewalk. His arms reflexively jerked forward to covering himself up, but was caught midway, shoving a red mark in his wrists. Kazooie stared back at him and giggled as she heard the metal clink against itself, then muffle in the fur of her boyfriend's furred back. His lip quivered as he leered his eyes away from her, biting his lip down at the camera flashes and laughter that surrounded him.

"Aaaaahhh! K-Kazooie?" Banjo peeped. "A-are we there yet?"

She turned around and smiled. "Oh, Banjo! We haven't even made it down the block yet."

All he could do was breathe an overwhelmed sigh and walk forward, endlessly shy in the wide-open city. Perhaps he needed something different. He closed his eyes tight while he walked and imagined a lush, green, leafy forest around him. He imagined the honey practically seeping out of the bee hives hanging from lush trees, strolling through the shadows of the peaceful outdoors. Perhaps it'd be okay if he was naked in there! That's what he convinced himself. He sighed calmly, forgetting all about his surroundings.

"HEY, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, YOU FUCKIN' PERVERT!"

He shouted out a low-pitched scream in sudden shock. His eyes snapped open, to the edge of a sidewalk loaded with citizens all around him. The squawky female voice who yelled at him came from a middle-aged looking toucan, drawing his attention to the nervous, yet oddly intrigued crowd beside her. Banjo's face lit up two shades darker as he fervently wished to turn around for some time to reflect.

"B-b-b-but I'm all leashed up, Mrs. Bird!" Banjo protested. "This isn't what it loo-"

"Eyes up, Banjo," Kazooie grinned, "we're about to cross the crosswalk."

The squawker walked him 'cross the crosswalk as the flock on the block gawked and mocked her awkward man-thot. Cross eyed, cross legged, Banjo strode as best as his weak knees could while the party around him started to multiply, mixing with the passersby of other entrances. There must have been at least sixty people in one place witnessing his naked body. Whimpering in shame, his wrists jangled against the handcuffs once again, looking for an opening to slip out for a moment of grace, but of course, it was no use: he was completely, utterly surrounded in an army of staring eyes.

Kazooie hollered out an amused laugh and gave a couple rough tugs on the leash. By now they were at the end of the crosswalk, dragging a searing red, flustered bear along with her. His emotions were as plain as the sneer on his face as he repeatedly pivoted away from the onslaught of cameras from the smirking, staring men and women. Now, there was truly nowhere to hide.

At once, right when he stepped onto the next portion of sidewalk, the onlookers suddenly swarmed them like angry bees. Their mixed apparel of suits, Hawaiian shirts, designer clothes and casual wear seemed to block out the sun, encircling him until he felt little room to breathe. Thrashing in the leash, tugging at the handcuffs, Banjo shouted and cried out for mercy, leaving a disgruntled Kazooie to fight for a slot through.

"Kazoo-iiiiie!" Banjo pleaded. "I don't wanna be naked in public anymoooore!"

"Hey, hey, I'm _walkin'_here!" Kazooie yelled at the anthropomorphic obstructions. "Can't you see I've got places to be?"

Much to their surprise, the dozen or so people faced towards her quieted down a tad. Despite being twice their size, her rowdy, nasally tone seemed to catch them all off guard. Banjo looked forward for a moment, duped, but mostly impressed. She always seemed to have that sort of energy to shut everybody up. Having a chunk of their attention, Kazooie yanked the leash and marched forward at the wall of people ahead of her, outstretching a feathered arm to brush them away.

As she trudged forward, a hand suddenly touched her left shoulder, closing its fingers around the one piece of fabric in her arm. In one motion that made the poor, naked bear's heart jump, she was suddenly playing tug of war with the suited bystander.

"Look out!" Banjo shouted frantically.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Kazooie yelled, tugging it back. "These pants aren't traveling anywhere but with me, you got that?"

The battle was tough, but the thief's grip was too loose as it snapped back into the feathered bird's arms. Scoffing, she flicked him off and finally pulled Banjo with her out of the circle, leaving a chuckling, amused, photo-supple crowd as she went. Light headed, but still willing to walk, he followed eagerly behind her, now loosening up the slack as his pace picked up with his alleged dom.

"What the hell do they want with your pants?" Kazooie complained. "You know what they say; finders, keepers."

Banjo groaned, looking downward. "I want to take a big ol' nap...."

"There'll be plenty of time to take one in the taxi, Banjo," Kazooie mused, "but that's a long way away, so march!"

He tilted his head acutely. "But it's April!"

"Ugh...." Kazooie groaned as she walked him through the next block.

____________________________________________________________________________

Waiting for the end of the walk was like watching honey roll down a mountain. His heart thudded through block after block of confused stares and flashing cameras aimed at his naked body. The utter embarrassment he felt was absolutely indescribable. But Kazooie loved every minute of it as she waded him in and out of the blazing sunlight, which seemed to hide and return within the seams of the passing buildings. There was never a point when there weren't at least a few dozen people staring at his flustered, shuddering body. And when she finally turned her head, she was still smiling at him.

"Almost there!" she winked, "Just one more block!"

For the first time since he got out, Banjo managed a smile. If it hadn't been for the positive reinforcement, he would have presumed that this kind of action was illegal. Now, it all seemed a little bit okay.

The last block was a true testament of his skills. The road had split off to the side and reconnected further down, leaving a hall of marketing places for high end companies. The plentiful stores stretched to the skies and lined up and out, separating in a "Y" shape before them. Above them were a line of electronic billboards that flickered incohesive advertisements for cheap clothes and perfume seemingly at random. And betwixt them, a horde of bustling shoppers and workers unlike anything they had ever seen.

"Kazooie, NO!" he pleaded. "I can't be naked in front of that many people at once! I'll probably burn up and die!"

"Too bad," she hotly dictated, "we're going through here anyway. Besides, the jiggy can't be too far!"

He tilted his jittering head. "How d'ya figure?"

"Remember what the riddle said?" she asked. "The riddle said we had to walk a mile. Surely it must end with a hustle through an obscenely large crowd of people right at the end, right?"

"B-but that's embarrassing as heck...." Banjo mumbled.

"Oh yeah, you're right," Kazooie pondered, scratching her chin before she quickly shrugged. "Welp, it's worth a shot!"

And in a few more steps, the bare Rareware bear was their shining flare on the square. All at once when he entered the masses, he felt the thunder spread across his whole body, practically barreling through the packs of people. Cameras flashed, questions were thrown, some even hurling insults at his crude public indecency. All of their words seemed to blend in an unintelligible blur that mimicked his headspace. Blushing furiously, he kept walking on, dick swinging and head held low while he prayed and prayed and prayed for the jiggy to appear.

"When's it gonna show up?!" Banjo yelled impatiently.

"Should be a few more steps!" Kazooie called back. "Any second now...!"

She was right. Off to the left side of the square, an image of their yellow taxi faded in and out of their view in a swarming sea of suits, ties and fancy hair dyes. Banjo felt an inkling of hope seep across his heart.

"Faster, Kazooie, faster!" he pleaded frantically.

"Relax, relax!" she yelled over the commotion. "It's not like they're gonna put you on national TV or something!"

Suddenly, out from beneath the people pushed through a line of cameramen, all of which boasting their logos of the most popular news stations. Their large, dark grey, cinder block sized cameras were pointed directly at the naked bear, and were quickly flicked on, as their red dotted lights indicated.

"Ohhhh nooo!!" he yelped. "How much worse could this possibly get?!"

Suddenly, there was a blanket of shadow that seemed to cover the whole side of the street. Loud and growing amidst the pandemonium was the sound of chopping blades. The duo both looked up to the sky and saw it in an instant: the indigo, shining shape of a monster helicopter. Its window was turned to the walking duo as it lowered ever so slowly to the ground, causing waves of wind in its wake.

Lost in wonder and terror, he squinted at its glaring window, like he was expecting it to open up. Just in the nick of time, the glass began to shift downwards, and it finally began to lift Banjo's spirits.

_"Kazooie!"_he beamed, motioning upwards to it. "The jiggy! I think it's about to-"

Out poked a black circle from behind the glass, which reflected the same glare as the window as it zoomed in even further. Then, as if on cue, a small, red dot of light perched along its top right corner.

Banjo's eyes widened in that exact moment, as all the billboards fizzled to a neutral grey screen. When they came back, though, his jaw dropped in fright.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

In each and every one of them, he saw himself naked, live on the big screens, walking as the shock in his face was projected to the whole city. The poor bear quickly noticed that it wasn't just hooked to the helicopter, but to all the cameramen around him, too, exposing his every angle of his bound nudity. One of them showed a side angle of his back, showing his butt on full display. Another was directly in front of him, perving on him from his nipples to his shaking kneecaps. He cringed the hardest when he saw the screen to his far right, which showed a zoomed in picture of his bare genitals.

Below each and every screen was a caption display in brilliant, crimson words, bold and unmistakable:

"HE'S NAKED."

Banjo's face lit up like a firework, his tummy and cock growing almost as red as Kazooie as they were forced to continue the humiliating walk. The hurling comments were completely inescapable as the laughter grew to the sound of fog horns overtime. He looked down to the bird amidst the eruptions of entertainment, but she seemed just as confused as him. Her arms were crossed, and in her feathered left hand she held a piece of parchment.

"I just read this over again," she told him. "You said it was Quare City, right?"

He gulped an overwhelming lump down.

"Y-yeah?"

"Did you even read it?!" she demanded, shoving it in his face. "The damn note says '_Square_City'!"

Banjo went silent. He leered his eyes around the overwhelming masses that recorded and mocked him.

"I think I had my thumb over the 'S'..." he sighed at last.

Kazooie slapped her palm across her face, and swiped it down her cheek, revealing the lowered, annoyed face beneath it.

"Come on, let's go!" the frustrated bird yelled, tugging on the leash again. "We've got a taxi to catch!

The enormous crowd almost seemed to cheer amidst the shock and awe as each of them pushed their way to the other side. Some people behind him were even trying to shake the paws in his handcuffs as he continued to trudge on. Many of them even ran up and shoved their phones at his crotch to take a picture, saving it on their timelines forever as their evidence for witnessing the poor, naked bear walk in the streets of Quare City. And even so, the cameras above were still recording Banjo, boasting his ever naked angle for the whole city to see. Banjo was simply mortified.

_ _ After countless shoves and pulls, they finally arrived at the taxi. The crowd was now dispersing around it, leaving a hump of space for the duo to stow themselves away. Banjo was still hollering for some privacy, and thankfully, he was about to get it. The red avian opened the door and pushed him in, giving the middle finger to the crowd as she went through it, herself and shoved it closed. She then had him turn around, undoing the lock of the handcuffs at last.

As the taxi drove off, the ambience got considerably quieter. The two were basking over the rumbling engine, happy that the storm was finally over. Banjo was swaying side to side with a sleepy-eyed look, like he was on the verge of collapse, or perhaps imitating the motion of the car. After a while of nothing to say, he finally opened his mouth:

"Well....," he sighed in a huff, "at least we're not Bubsy 3D."

Kazooie nodded in solemn approval.

"At least we didn't overdo anything," she pointed out. "And hey, it's okay! Turns out, Square City's on an island that's a couple hundred miles away from here. If we move fast, we can still get that jiggy!"

"Oh, what a relief!" Banjo sighed happily. "Does that mean I can have my pants back now?

Kazooie shrugged, empty handed. "Nope! I lost 'em in the crowd by accident."

"Wh- what?!" he gasped, open mouthed. "How could ya do this to me, Kazooie?! Those were my only trousers, for some reason!"

"_And_we probably won't be headed home for a while," Kazooie shrugged. "But I'll make it up to you. Tell you what: I'll let you have your backpack if you buy me a frosty!"

The flustered bear pouted, crossing his arms in sheer annoyance. He tilted his eyes up to the roof of the car as if he was doing calculus in his head, until he finally settled on an answer, and grunted a low, but distinct, "Ffffine."

"Get ready for your closing line, Banjo," she beamed radiantly as she wrapped an arm around him, "because we've got a plane to catch!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as the taxi accelerated off onto the highway, rolling up dust in its tracks as it grew smaller in the distance, fading into the horizon.