A mind is a terrible thing to waste

Story by onewhoknew on SoFurry

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Poor Terri has made herself a bit of a mess, and needs a good clean washing. I swear, I didn't see the obvious metaphor until I was halfway through writing it, and then it got away from me a bit. This has a lot of niche fetishes: modular (dissassembly), brain removal, brainwashing, personality influence, trash/thrown away, actual rubbish, depression/dark thoughts tending to almost suicial ideation. It all ends up okay, though.


A mind is a terrible thing to waste

Terri folded the bag of flour she had been making cookies with closed, and stepped back as a cloud of white dust shot up into the air. 'Every time!' she thought to herself. 'Every time I forget that's going to happen!'

The vixen waved her hand in the air above the kitchen counter, trying to dissipate the cloud. However, her efforts weren't quite enough. A little of the dust got in her nose, and she felt the beginning of a sneeze. Placing a finger between her mouth and her nose, she tried to tamp it down. That still wasn't enough, and she took a couple of breaths before letting out a cute little squeak, then another. She sighed, and turned away from the counter before the last sneeze hit her, far more powerful than the rest, and with much more powerful effect. With a loud 'TCHOOOO!', her head flew forward with such force that the top of her skull flipped open, and her brain flew out. It splatted heavily against the wall and slid down until it hit the kitchen bin, the top swinging for a few seconds as the vessel of her self disappeared from view.

This was not as bad as it sounds.

Luckily for the missing contents of her head, Terri was a modular fox. She could pull off and replace parts of her body at will, swapping out arms and legs every day. Her parts were difficult to damage as well, and her brain would be just fine, even if it had bounced against the wall rather hard. Her body would even instinctual seek her brain if it went missing unexpectedly, just like this, and before the bin lid had stopped winging, it had begun to lurch forward, eyes half lidded and mouth drooling mindlessly. Which it was.

Clumsily, Terri's hand hit the top of the bin. Without a brain to work out how to open it, her hands slapped at the bin until eventually it flew off and clattered on the floor. The foxes' brain was inside, nestled on old limp lettuce leafs and broken egg shell that dripped from her grip as she picked herself up and jammed her brain back in her open skull.

"Oh!"

The vixen shook her head a couple of times, blinking hard. She could feel an odd breeze inside her skull, and reached up to close her skull. She shivered a little as her mind connected back up with her body. "That feels a bit... fuller than normal," she muttered to herself.

She put her hands on her hips and looked around. It was pretty normal to feel a bit disconnected after having you brain replaced, but she felt a bit more off than she had when her skull had been emptied out before. That, and irritated. Not only was there flour settling on every surface in the kitchen, but there was rubbish spread out all around the bin, and now she'd got her trousers covered in rancid water from the bin. "Damn," she said. "Oh, how did I make such a mess?"

Muttering to her self, she washed her hands and put the cookies in the oven. Wetting a paper towel, she ran in over the handles and tops of cupboards to pick up the flour that had layered there. "I knew this would happen, but did I take any care, noooo, I just went ahead and *puffed* the flour bag and made such a mess-"

Terri paused, shivering a little as a spike of rage at her foolishness ran through her. That wasn't normal, not for a calm and normally happy woman like her.

She tossed the paper in the bin and frowned. Something was wrong. She felt a bit... funny in herself. Maybe she was coming down with something? That would explain why she was begin careless... why she was so stupid...

A wave of disgust washed over her, hating how she was. This was wrong, she knew. Shaking her head, she tried to concentrate. "Right! Need to clean this up, then wash the floor."

It didn't take long for everything to go to shit.

Terri slumped in the corner of the room, away from the spreading pool of water on the tiles. She'd caught the bucket of water and detergent with her foot, spilling it over the kitchen. Cursing, she grabbed for a towel, to try and stop the water soaking into the baseboard of the cupboards, but as she pulled it off the hook it caught. The thin plasterboard gave, tearing the hook out of the wall and pulling her off balance. Combined with the slippy spill underfoot, the vixen fell heavily, landing with a horrible 'CRACK' on the arm that wasn't outstretched. The sudden shock of pain was completely overwhelming, for a couple of seconds she couldn't even breathe as her body froze. Then she let out a agonised wail and splashed onto her back in the water, groping for her shoulder.

One of the many advantages of being modular was that in cases like this, she could simply pop her broken arm off, and the pain would stop instantly. There were a couple of spares in her bedroom, hung up on the wall, which she normally attached when she wanted a few extra hands, and any one of those would make a fine substitute while she fixed the broken arm. And yet...

...Did she deserve to avoid the pain?

Tears pricked at her eyes, not just from the pain, but the feeling of uselessness and stupidity. She was such a waste of space, can't even do something as simple as clean the floor without tearing down walls and breaking herself - such a useless piece of garbage -

And the her arm was in her hand, taken off at her shoulder. The pain was gone, but the feeling of self loathing - this wasn't like her! She staggered to her feet and stumbled out of the kitchen, leaving her arm broken in the puddle on the floor.

In the bedroom, Terri tore off her shirt awkwardly, only having one hand to manipulate it with. It made a soggy slap on the floor when she dropped it. She slumped at the foot of her bed and hugged her knees to her chest. What was wrong with her? She wasn't like this. Something had changed... She was broken, in more ways then physical. She was useless, and deserved to be thrown away...

She gritted her teeth as the tears began to flow.

***

Terri had been rocking back and forth for more than an hour when the smell came to her. Something was burning - the cookies! Franticly, she dashed to the kitchen, and slammed the oven open. The cookies weren't quite on fire, but they were blackened and completely ruined. As she reached for them, her one hand covered in the oven mit, the weight was off, and charred lumps spilled onto the floor, making sizzling splashes in the water.

She let the tray fall to the floor with a clatter, cooling in the water spill. Weeping, the vixen scooped up one on them and tossed in in the bin. Fuck, she though. I'm so useless. I should throw myself away, too.

It was easy to tear one leg off and stuff it in the bin. For the second, she perched half on the bin, so that when her other leg popped off, her torso slid into the filth and rubbish. She pulled the leg in with her, tucking it down by her side. She had a bit of leverage from wrapping her arm around it, and pulled against her torso until her arm came loose as well. Her head was more difficult to disconnect. She needed to wedge her muzzle against the lip of the bin and really strain her neck until it gave, her head sliding down her torso the end up wedged between her breasts, nose down towards the rest of the rubbish. The thoughts telling her she was nothing but rubbish quieted.

She was where she belonged.

***

"Honey, I'm home!"

There was no answer. The fox put his bag down on the floor, and hung up his coat. "Terri?" he called. "Are you home? Your car was in the drive..."

Quietly, he added through the rooms, stopping to pop his hands against his hips as he surveyed the mess in the kitchen. "What happened here - are those legs in the bin?"

Todd knew what good care Terri normally took of her spare parts. Finding bits of her in the bin was odd, to say the least. He pulled out a leg, and there was a muffled squeak from the bin as something tumbled down. "Terri?" he said, and pulled her head out of the rubbish. "...What are you doing in the bin?"

"It's where I belong," she muttered. "I'm a trash person. You should just throw me away."

"Hmm." The fox furrowed his brow. "Well, in that case I need to go through the trash to sort out the recyclables, okay?"

"I guess..."

He tiptoed through the cold water on the floor, and placed Terri's head on the draining board. "Let's see what we have here," he said, and flipped her skull open.

"Oh, no wonder you don't feel right, you're full of rubbish!"

Before she could say anything, he reached in and yanked her brain out. It was covered in grime and dirt, he picked a banana skin off as he held it up. "Oh, honey," he said to the empty, blank eyed head. "You've got coffee grounds in your cerebellum and eggshells in your amygdala. If you fill up on garbage,you're just going to end up feeling like garbage!"

He peeked into her open brain pan. "Oh, I really need to clean that out. And I need to give your-"

He paused, and sighed heavily. "I hate that I have to say this, but - I'm going to need to give you a good brainwashing, alright?"

The fox didn't wait for an answer from the drooling head at his side. He placed Terri's brain back on the draining board, and ran water until it was comfortably warm. Taking the brain in one hand he gently rubbed it with the other, he softly cleaned all the dirt and grime from between the folds of her cerebellum, caressing the spaces in her mind.

He checked the state of her skull before putting her brain back. There was grime smeared on the sides from her messy brain, and he wiped it out with a cloth. Then he slipped Terri's mind back into its place, and closed her skull. She blinked several times, and licked at her lips, wiping the vacant expression off her face. "Oh!" she said. "That feels.."

"Better, I hope?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Mind telling me what happened?" Todd asked, gesturing to the mess of water, plaster, and burnt cookies spread over the floor.

"Uh," said Terri, trying to peer over the counter. "I had a bit of a sneezing fit, and dropped my brain in the bin, and then I pulled in out, and when I tried to clean up the mess I made, I only made it worse, and I got really down and thought I should just throw myself away, so I ended up in the bin."

"...Huh. Your mind was covered in stuff from in the bin, that would explain clumsiness, and I suppose you knew rubbish belonged in the bin..."

"Oh! I didn't think that my mind was dirty! Hm, what could I have done about that? I couldn't take it out myself, and the preprogram function on the remote wouldn't be delicate enough - all I could really do is take my brain out and leave it in the sink until you got home, I suppose..."

Todd crossed his arms. "And you're feeling better now? You seem a bit... bubbly."

"Huh!" Terri crossed her eyes, like she was trying to look into her own head. "I do feel a bit... lemony fresh!"

"Oh no." Todd sniffed at the cloth he used to clean Terri's head. "I think this had a bit of soap left on it..."

"Well that might be why - I am all being bubbly!"

Todd smiled. "Okay, as long as you don't feel bad!" He pulled a leg out of the bin. "Now, let's put you back together, then you can go have a shower while I clean up in here. Then, we can see just how long you're feeling bubbly for!"

Terri giggled as he hauled more of her out of the bin.