FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I walk on a gravel path and only the sound of my soles coming into contact with the ground reaches my ears. A fairly dense, low vegetation, but provided with some large trees border this path, wide enough so that my shoulders do not touch any branches. The smallest shrubs being at eye level, it is impossible for me to see what is hidden behind this vegetable dam. I look up to see that almost all of the natural light is filtered by the millions of leaves of these gigantic trees. I have the impression that I have been given an honor guard but only in order to study myself under all my seams. However, strange as it may seem, the place is not unknown to me, without being so familiar; perhaps I have already been there when I was a child?

Anyway, I keep moving forward, slowly, but with the certainty that I will undoubtedly end up somewhere. After a few moments, I stop and listen to what the nature has to tell. To my great disappointment, no wind makes the foliage shiver nor murmur, not even the breath of a single animal breaks this heavy silence. However, the taciturnity of Mother Nature soothes me; it would be wrong to believe that i don't like the sounds of free and wild places, but it allows me to close my eyes and look at what's deep inside me. A noise. Weak, but consistent. It's my heart, and its beat reminds me that I'm alive, like the trees around me. I smile and now feel carried by a overflowing and contagious lightness and serenity.

It suddenly makes me want to run on this bottomless path. My legs received the order from an unknown and probably supernatural force not to stop and obey without asking a question. I run, always faster and without getting out of breath; I don't even notice that the sunrays are gradually succeeding in lighting my way and the surroundings. I now go at such an intense speed that I no longer feel my feet while the brightness is practically becoming blinding. But still, I keep moving towards the light that now encompasses my whole horizon and stretch my arms backwards, like I'm about to cross the finish line of a frantic race. When I finally cross and drop the ribbon, the light invades my whole view and immerses me in immaculate whiteness.

My eyes open again, but I am plunged into almost perfect darkness again, my alarm clock reminding me, with its shrill and dying cry, that I am no longer in the dream world, but in reality . After quickly stifling this abominable invention, I stand up and mechanically head for the coffee maker. After activating it, I jump into the shower still a little cold, perking up my senses and hurry to remove what was left of yesterday, to better be able to face what today will bring me.

I get out of the shower and check the time: I still have twenty minutes before I leave home to go to work. I'm happy, I made it faster than usual this morning and can have my lunch by checking out what's going on on social media. I get dressed quickly; my clothes having been prepared beforehand before going to sleep the day before: shoes, pants, jacket, shirt and tie, all neutral in color and my madness of the day, pink stockings with yellow polka dots. You have to put a little sparkle in this gloomy universe after all, don't you think?

I put two slices in the toaster, pour myself a hot cup of coffee, decorate it and go sit at the dining room table. A first sip and the tasteless news, more often than not, of social networks scroll on my mobile device. My consciousness is overwhelmed with information that does not concern me, but I feel that something is trying to direct me on another theme, but of which I ignore the subject. After a few moments informing myself of the most recent presidential nonsense and falling in love with the cutest pets, my attention turns to the huge bay window facing me, which shows me the first rays of sun, starting to illuminate the horizon. While drinking my coffee, my mind wanders; I'm trying to remember the dream I had, just before being interrupted by this damn clock.

I remember that I was calm, but that I was just running. What does that mean?

I look at the bottom of my cup, my reflection, in brown and gray, returning the neutral look that I throw at him, try to find an answer to this question ...

I have often been told that I walk fast! Not because of any gift for the sport, nor because I had longer legs than average, but only, because I had a gait with very fast steps. Some will see it as a primary quality in the eagerness to do well and of a worker who is hard at work; and others will see someone selfish who only thinks about what will happen to himself and does not take the time to look around him; and that this person does not take the time to live, in general.

I get up, my coffee now finished, I grab my keys, the two toasts that I forgot in the oven and grab my briefcase, to head for my car, located in the garage. But I cannot forget this allusion to running in my dream. Is this a message my dreams, my subconscious, are trying to send me? However, I find that going faster has given me a lot of satisfaction, and above all has allowed me to stand out from the crowd, and thus climb the ranks within the company in such a short time.

Fifteen minutes had passed at the speed of light, since I had left the garage and spun, hair in the wind, in my convertible sport of the year. My cold breakfast was gone to fill the low appetite I have in the morning and now I was trapped in the usual morning traffic jam; cars treading water. I imagine that is the price to pay to get away from the city ... The radios of the neighboring cars emit thunderous musical noises; but I especially pity their hearing, which must suffer horribly. To forget this cacophonous ordeal, but also the looks of people who envy, either my car, or my advantageous financial situation, let's be frank, I tune the first classical music channel that my satellite radio captures and forget myself in this break that life seems to allow me.

I immediately recognize the first eccentric outbursts of Ravel's noble and sentimental Waltzes and let myself be carried away by this pretty melody. Time then seems to stretch and slow down; I take advantage of the moment and nothing seems to bother me in my momentary ecstasy. The car moves slowly and the traffic jam slowly dissipates, allowing me to gain the intended parking in the first basement of the building in which I work. So it's with a smile and a light but quick step (as usual) that my day begins.

When I arrive, I greet the secretary, who returns the favor to me politely but also with a touch of embarrassment. I always found that the boss perverted them with a very suggestive dress code and bordering on good taste, but preferred that investors get lost in the cleavage of the secretaries, who came to bring them a cup of coffee, rather than finding the little clauses in the contracts they signed. Over and over again, he reminded me that one day when I in turn run the box, to remember that a wealthy customer will be tricked every time; and that under the circumstances, I will have to be creative in order to make the fish bite! I therefore address this luscious secretary a little wink, before continuing on my way to my office. As I pass by, several of my colleagues send their hands to me, but I don't really have the time or the taste, honestly, to have a chat with people, who, in the end, do nothing but their day ...

I finally arrive at my desk, my smile widens at the sight of what occupies most of the furniture: a large cup of steaming coffee already fills the room with a subtle, but intoxicating scent of hazelnut; the newspaper is also waiting for me, folded well next to the drink. All reports are stacked on the left, while business prospects and schedules are placed on the right. As I sit down and squeeze myself in my leather chair, a note left by my assistant catches my attention. While bringing my lips on the hot porcelain cup, the missive tells me that I have an appointment with my boss at nine o'clock. I put the container down, decidedly still too hot and expire deeply. I am very fortunate to have been able to find such a dedicated, but above all gifted assistant. Fresh out of school, the youngster will go far, I know it!

After a brief moment, I look at the huge window, which occupies the entire exterior wall; the sun now illuminates the whole city and exposes it at its best angle. The Brazilian roast drink reaches my lips again and I'm back in my head. With my eyes lost and not focusing on anything in particular, I wonder and remember the whole journey that led me to this chair, at this precise moment.

I sneer softly, at the idea that a little over fifteen years ago, the carefree and spotty young teenager that I was, was finishing his high school education. And like most of my friends at the time, I had no idea of the educational path in which I was going to set foot and go headlong. I finally opted for the first idea that crossed my mind, and never again did I look back. All my years of higher education were successful, and everything went smoothly in the meantime. Before I even finished my university, the company I still work for hired me as an intern, but I quickly impressed my superiors with my liveliness and hard work ...

How time flies and how pleasant it is to lead such an existence!

The efforts I have made to reach this seat, on which my gluteus rests, are the fruit of years of dedication, determination and self-discipline, which today are rewarded; few people can boast of being so easy at such a young age!

When I think about it a little more seriously, though, I admit that my life has always taken a fairly straightforward and unobstructed path to hinder it. As if I was walking the path that someone had already traced for me, and this, since my birth; a beautiful path bordered by trees, bushes and flowers, each one more beautiful than the other, guiding me such when I go for a walk in a nearby park. Anyway, I really don't have to complain about my case.

An alarm on my mobile device pulls me from my reverie, I realize that I will be late for my appointment with my boss if I do not help myself. So it's in a hurry, that I'm headed upstairs. For the others, who see me blowing, it's just a day like any other.

At the end of this meeting, which was, from a strictly professional point of view, of a disconcerting banality, the bell of the church, adjacent to the office, begins to ring, announcing that the dinner hour has started. A colleague, with whom I have good relations and who also attended the meeting, invites me to grab a bite at the restaurant-bar a few blocks from here. Having not brought the remains of my supper from the previous day, I therefore accept his request and decide to accompany him.

The hour had passed at lightning speed! The food was friendly and so was the waitress who took care of us. The topics of conversation we had, my colleague and I, were varied and entertaining; the few beers we had allowed ourselves to consume, inevitably colored our discussions. But, like all good things to an end, I realize that we have already exceeded the allotted time by a good fifteen minutes. We therefore pay hastily and go out to the race. We both laugh like children, having committed a stupidity which they are proud to have executed. Then I feel lighter, as if defying authority and arriving late gave me a feeling that I had practically forgotten, so much had I ever allowed myself to go wrong.

The alcohol undeniably facilitating this feeling of lightness of being, I run faster and faster on the sidewalk, ignoring what surrounds me; a little lost in my intoxication. With each step, my pleasure seems to reach new heights, helping me to propel myself further. I can no longer hear my colleague who now seems to be trying to bring me to order. I reassure him, shouting over my shoulder, that he doesn't need to worry and that all-

A pain!

Very brief, but intense!

I don't have time to realize where this evil comes from, because suddenly, a white light completely envelops me and projects me into a void, which seems infinite. I have no point of reference as to where I am, but most of all, the impression of being in free fall makes me fear an imminent and abrupt end at the bottom of this glowing chasm. The temporality in this universe is, moreover, completely unknown to me. I look frantically around me; my movements are fluid, my consciousness is alert ... What's going on?

"But what a fool you are!"

The male voice that had just thundered made the whole body vibrate and the impression of endless descent faded at the same time; as if gravity had ceased to exist and now cradled me in an imperceptible chair. However, the authoritarian tone, which commanded a seemingly irrefutable respect, terrorized and paralyzed my entire being. Not a sound came out of my mouth, which was a rare phenomenon.

"Look what a mess you got stuck in!"

Instantly, before I could even ask myself a question, a gigantic screen invaded my field of vision and was already projecting images of a city intersection crowded with people. All eyes seemed to converge on the same point; the traffic momentarily stopped, the motorists got out of their vehicle to see what was going on. Not far from the crowd, the engine of a van was still running, slight traces of blood stained the radiator grill; while its driver, who was leaning against the door, looked in all its forms. In the midst of all these people, an inanimate body. Its position indicated that the collision had been impactful; his left leg having adopted an unorthodox position.

"But my God, it's me!"

My horrified voice sounded so loud that the ensuing echo would last for long seconds, which I naturally didn't take the time to count. My hands hiding half of my face, I had just realized that I had committed the unforgivable.

"Does that mean I'm dead?"

However, the question remained unanswered. The screen, too, disappeared, plunging me back into blinding whiteness; only the nonexistent gravity effect remained.

"Will you tell me why you did this?"

The intonation of the invisible person had visibly subsided, but a tinge of frustration was still perceptible.

"I have no idea."

The surprise effect of the new environment around me having faded and the suddenly less intimidating nature of my interlocutor allowed me to regain, a little bit, my means.

"Don't play smart with me, you knew very well what you were doing!"

"And who exactly are you?"

"Someone who wants to understand why you decided to be so reckless."

"It doesn't really tell me who you are ..."

"Everything in its time. So tell me what went through your mind to put you in front of a van? "

The ideas then jostle in my head. I, who is generally very disciplined, even a bit too serious, got carried away in a childish frenzy, which ultimately cost me my life. A single tiny course error would have been fatal to me?

"Stop tapping your mind on all these questions!"

The voice picked up again, breaking the growing silence and bringing me back to the present moment.

"This is the opportunity you've been looking for for some time now ... In your inner heart, you wanted to make a significant change in your life, to do something that would change people's perception of you, or to help you to take a new direction. "

"By throwing me in front of a truck?" My life is perfectly full, if you ask me, dear stranger! "

My voice was filled with a certain misunderstanding about what the voice, which had taken on a more composed tone, had just revealed to me. Fists clenched, my eyes feverishly sought a clue in this colorless decor, thus being able to indicate the position of my interlocutor, in vain.

"Besides, if you want my opinion, I would have done well for a tête-à-tête with a ghost, who hasn't stopped lecturing me since earlier."

"You will see in due course that I am right, insolent young man."

The stranger continued, ignoring what I had just told him. As I prepared to retort again, a box-like object appeared in front of me. Completely red and of a size similar to a cereal box; the weakly sealed cover was the only obstacle preventing me from seeing what was inside.

"Before you see what's inside, but above all, touch the content, let me just tell you that you are not dead!"

The voice exclaimed as the screen returned, but this time without images.

"Naturally, considering the seriousness of your accident, your current condition is quite fragile ..."

Following these words, I was finally able to see what was happening on the projection; and what a surprise it was when I saw my body lying in a hospital bed, plugged into a huge number of machines to keep me alive.

"This is your current life, but a week after your accident. Doctors believe it was a miracle that you could have survived such an impact. "

After a slight pause, he resumed.

"As you can see, you are indeed in a deep coma, therefore between life and death, if you allow me. And like the vast majority of people who are in the same situation as you, they are not insensitive to the world around them. It's even a fundamental aspect dictating the victim's will to make a choice between letting go or going back and trying again. "

The more the voice explained to me what I saw, the more I seemed to lose the thread of the subject. The view I enjoyed overlooked the entire room I was in and was above the headboard, as if a surveillance camera had been installed there. The slightly angle of view did not allow me to see my face, but only the shape of my body, hidden under a blanket.

"What should I do then?"

My attention then turned to the little red box that was just around the corner.

"You have to choose between life and death of course."

"The choice is obvious, right? I want to live!"

I then grab the box and open it suddenly, the seal offering no real resistance. A surprise awaits me when I take a look inside: two push buttons, one green and the other red.

"So don't be stupid and wait until I have finished explaining to you what is coming your way!" First of all, why are you in such a hurry to return to Earth? "

"It's simple, because I don't want to die now!"

"And why is that?"

"Because I feel like-"

Suddenly, the truth hit me head on. It is true that my strongest desire, at the moment, is to continue to exist, but I am convinced that I have so many other things to live in this low world, that my existence will not be only one series of footprints, already drawn for me. The stranger snickered at the apparent amazement on my face.

"You said yourself that your life was only made in a straight line. Well, I can assure you that it has just put a very good curve across your path! I have not met anyone here, to whom life has only given gifts; everyone lives with their own problems, some with heavier burdens than others. But what differentiates those who go to the end and those who give up at the first obstacle or who take pleasure in ease, is the strength of the individual to want to surpass himself, to want something better for himself. "

The words he said were so deeply embedded in me that it was impossible for me to retort anything; my eyes were on the screen, where there was absolutely nothing going on. No one at my bedside to see if I'm doing well.

"So I offer you the opportunity to redeem yourself, seeing that deep down in your being, your soul was crying out for a change to occur, because in theory, this collision would have been fatal! Naturally, if you choose the green button, you will return among the mortals, while the red will close your lights forever. However, let me tell you that the life you have known will undergo significant changes. To prove it to you, before you can press the green button, you will have to wait until your body is ready to open your eyes ... "

When he said these words, a digital dial appeared above the screen and indicated: 00: 087: 21: 13: 56, and the more time passed, the more the number on the right decreased.

"This my dear, is the time it will take for your body to be able to receive your soul or consciousness again, if you prefer. So you have a little less than three months to decide whether your life is worth living to the end or not. Consider yourself lucky, because some people have to wait years before they can press the green button. "

"So if I understand correctly, I have to wait three months, without doing anything, to ultimately have the right to come back to life?"

I asked the question, even if this stranger had been very precise in his explanation. Despite this, my disbelief at this daunting challenge, which was the inaction of my whole being for so long, made me shiver with fear.

"Indeed, if it's too much for you, on the other hand, the red button is accessible at all times. But you will see, the more time will pass, the more your choice will become clearer. And if after the allotted time, you remain uncertain, nothing prevents you from waiting longer. But knowing you, I doubt that you will choose this option. "

He laughed softly again, and after a brief silence, he sighed slightly.

"I'm going to have to leave you briefly, because I have other people to go see, people who are more or less in the same situation as you. Don't worry, I'll come back to you from time to time to see if everything's all right, like I've done so often since you were born. See you soon!"

Without being able to add a word to this astonishing and intriguing revelation, I felt his presence disappear, as if this room had emptied of its essence in the space of a second. So I found myself alone in this borderless place and looked up at the screen again. Everything was still in the room. I wonder if someone will come to visit me soon ...

Ten interminable days had passed, and nothing, strictly nothing, happened during this time. Besides the pretty nurse who comes in every two hours every day to see how my vital signs are going and take care of my needs, but also the doctor, who came twice during this week and a half, to write remarks to his notebook; not a visit, not a single one! Me, however, who thought I had a few friends or family close enough to come to visit me at least once, but I realize how much I was wrong on their account! Would my life have been just a masquerade ...?

More than half the time is now behind me. However, I still have forty days to wait before the clock time is up. Despite the rare, but constant visits from my mother (a mother will always love her child no matter what he does, so it counts more or less) and my sister, only a few colleagues have come to carry flowers on one occasion, this which testifies to the small place I occupy in their hearts. However, the nurse who has looked after me from the start recently started staying longer with my bed and talks to me about everything and nothing. I do not know if it is out of pity or empathy, but one thing is certain, I will try to thank her for the excellent services she offers me. The stranger comes to visit me once every two days to talk to me and avoid over-dramatizing what the world thinks of me. Fortunately he is there, because I think I wiould not be in this world if it was not for him. It is sometimes very difficult to think wrongly, that nobody likes you ...

"The last hour on the clock has finally started, how are you feeling?"

"Well. I realize how selfish I have been in the past and that I was so self-centered that I didn't know everything that was going on around me. "

"And did this time of reflection allow you to draw a conclusion on the way you still have to go?"

"I now understand a little more about life! I feel like I used to live in a baricaded closet, but now I can open that door and explore what's going on outside. To stop trying to run away from all the problems that come my way and face them, no matter what the outcome. Accept the unexpected that life has in store for us and not always take the easiest way out of trouble. In short, to take life as it comes! "

"Everyone, through their gestures and actions, is part of the history of humanity, whether it occupies a preponderant or more discreet place. Use your many qualities to do good, but above all, make sure that you inspire the people who are near you! "

The last seconds passed and the green button slowly lit up.

"My work with you is now coming to an end, but know that I will always be there to pat you on the back when you need it. Consider this passage with me as an apprenticeship and apply the reasoning that you have found in your life and everything should be fine! "

And while the dial displayed 00: 000: 00: 00: 00, I took the box in my hand and looked at the green button, then the red, but already, my idea was made. With my hand a few inches from the button, I looked up and around the white room.

"Tell me, who are you?"

"Someone you may have met before or will meet in the future, but know that I always have an eye on you!"

"And if I have doubts, how do I get in touch with you?"

"Don't be afraid! Continue to believe in life, and it will make you happy! "

An invisible force then helped me to press the button and my whole vision was plunged into total white, once again.

My eyes opened on a small room consisting of four turquoise walls and a large window that let in the first rays of the morning sun. When my senses returned to them, at the same time, the door to my room opened. The nurse who had been dedicated to me for the past three months entered with a tray, lightly laden with medicine and a cup of water, but as soon as she saw my eyes watching her, she dropped everything, amazed, but immediately threw himself at me; as if to make sure I was awake.

"Hello Mr. Lachance."

She said to me with a radiant smile.

"How do you feel?"

His smile continues and waits for an answer. I return her smile then, I want to thank her so much for all that she did, but I can't; the words are forming in my head, the mouth however refuses to pronounce them ...