Surviving on Dreams
It's been a long time since I uploaded anything onto here. I decided to upload this though. This was supposed to be a prologue to another story series I was trying to work on but failed to come up with any half decent ideas for. There's no yiff in it, and I don't remember anymore on if I was going to put any relationship status into the story other than just a friendship thing. As I put in my journal today, a song that comes to mind for this actually was "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo, even though, like I said, there's no relationship in this. Anyways, here's the story, so please enjoy.
===================================================================================
Panting is heard as he ran from the school grounds. It was too much, he couldn't take it anymore. Why is it they hated him so much? Why do they constantly see him as a darkness incarnate? What did he do to them? An outcast of outcasts. Nothing more, but possibly something less, though he had no idea what that might be. He tripped as he ran across the road; another inch and the van would have hit him.
'I have to get out! I can't do this anymore! It hurts! It hurts too much!' his mind screamed as he ran.
He tore from the side of the road and cut across the small field of sorts, making a straight line to his house, dodging trees that became obstacles in his path. Not slowing down, his heart pounding, his breathing having become a sort of rasp as his chest heaved, his body begging for air.
'What did I do to them!? Why am I like this!? Why can't I be someone else!? It hurts!'
The gray furred fox almost missed dodging a tree as he clenched his eyes shut from the pain in his chest. As he spun to the side though, his back pack slammed against the tree with enough force to tear one of the straps at a seam on the top, the sudden impact causing him to spin off too much and fall to the ground as the other strap flew off of his shoulder and from his arm. He scrambled to his feet and began running again, leaving the back pack behind as small bits of mud flew off of his clothes.
He got to another road and saw his home in sight. Already running at full speed, he pressed on, tears staining his fur before falling from his face. When he rounded to the front of the house, he saw that no one was home. All the better, he couldn't let them see him like this. It's not like they had ever bothered to check on him before, but in his state, he didn't even want to risk it. Too much pain had built up; it was too late to help him.
He got inside the house after fumbling with his copy of the house key and ran up the stairs to his room. Bad mistake, especially with his current mood. A very bad time to notice the blade collection he had. He threw off his coat onto the floor and began looking around his room. How had he seen it before? It was with heat.
He scurried around the room. He burned incense from time to time, so he always had a lighter handy around the room. Aromatherapy though wasn't going to help him. His mind was so strained, his heart so torn that the pain was completely real. There was no chance of just relaxing it away; he had to stop it soon.
He reached for a nearby fantasy dagger and tried igniting the lighter, cursing loudly as the flame jumped to the side and singed some of the fur on his fingers. He managed to light it again and heated the edge of the blade. It was dull; this would take a little more heating. His mind continued racing though, the tears still falling down his face.
'What am I doing!? It hurts! There's no one around! They all abandoned me again! It hurts too much! Why does it hurt so much!?'
The edge began to appear black as the flame licked smoothly against the blade. He dropped the lighter to the floor and walked shakily to the chair at his computer and sat down. He looked to the blade in one hand for a moment, then to his wrist on his other arm. Using the fingers that weren't holding the blade's handle, he pushed some of the fur on his wrist aside, looking for a good point to cut. He began to get even shakier when he found a vein. He slowly brought the dagger to his wrist, feeling the heat wave from the blade. He squeezed his eyes shut as he bit his lower lip. The blade was pressed to his wrist.
******************************************************************************
... ... ... Darkness.
'... Did I do it? ... Am I dead?'
"No, you aren't. Didn't think I'd make it in time." What sounded as a sigh of relief was heard.
The fox opened his misty blue eyes. He looked around at this... space, which he was in. What looked like the reflections of light from the waves of water danced around in the darkness. He looked around confused.
"You know, you're a hard headed person. It was a bitch trying to get to ya. Um, hey. Behind you man."
His eyes drifted off over his shoulder as he slowly turned around, sitting on the... ground, or whatever it was he was on. He sat in awe at what he saw.
A male wolf stood there behind him, his fur of a light yellow with what looked like crimson on his tail. His eyes were of a rich green. He had something behind him, but the fox couldn't tell what it was, whether it was a dark cloak or even wings. His clothing seemed that of a Gothic style, his baggy pants black with silver chains hanging off of them, his shirt looking like a sort of sleeveless muscle shirt that was also black. He had some boots on that looked like combat boots, but they were worn and faded. For some reason though, his figure seemed somewhat... transparent.
The fox continued staring at him, something about him attracting his attention so much that he forgot that, just a moment ago, he was about to kill himself. A feeling of fear and nervousness washed over him, but at the same time, it somehow made him calm; someone who seems like they've seen their share of damage and pain and seem like they wouldn't hesitate to use it on someone, and yet at the same time, he didn't feel very threatening.
The wolf chuckled softly. "I take it you're usually a shy kit, huh? Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you." The expression on his face changed to a more serious one though; the sudden change caused the fox to cringe. The wolf sighed before speaking again, "I saw what you were about to do man. I have to admit, I almost followed that damn path once. I can tell you're someone who's constantly alone, who feels they've been abandoned."
The fox looked at him in surprise and confusion. He had never met this wolf before, much less seen him. How did he know what was going through his mind?
The gold wolf continued, "Just do me... a favor. ... Wait one day. If you're set on taking that path,... then I won't stop your stupid ass. However, just wait one more day." He smiled as he finished, his figure fading out. "... There's still someone who's there for you."
******************************************************************************
The fox's eyes slowly opened as a loud buzzing went off from his side.
It was morning.
He groaned as he tried picking himself up from the floor, stumbling to his bed to turn off the alarm on his radio. He looked behind him and saw the dagger on the floor. Puzzled for a moment, he then remembered his dream. Who was that wolf? How did he just pass out like that? Six in the morning... meant he was passed out on the floor for almost 15 hours. He continued staring at the dagger for a moment until a certain anger overtook him.
"... One day, huh? I don't even know who the hell he is, and he wants me to wait a day to k-?" He stopped short. The thought of it went through his mind. Was he really going to do that yesterday? The anger got stronger in him as he began looking for some clean clothes to wear for the day.
His dark attitude this morning having gone unnoticed, which the fox was very thankful for, he left the house and retraced his steps to school. 'Idiot!' he thought to himself. Storming from the school yesterday and going back today was something only a complete moron would do. As he walked, he came across the field where he had lost his back pack. After searching for a couple of minutes, he finally found it, though the condition of its contents was another story. The clouds yesterday suggested rain for the evening and night, and apparently it happened. His mood worsened as he picked it up and continued walking for the school.
The day went by slowly. None of his classmates even bothered to look at him, as though he didn't even exist.
Before, them doing that was something that was hard to understand. Now, during his third hour class, he felt he deserved it, just like he deserved that dag-
The whole classroom looked in his direction for a few seconds as a loud bang was heard from his desk, his hand throbbing.
When his fifth class ended and lunch break came, he went to a table in front of the high school. He sat down and looked at the tabletop, looking at the new "art" that decorated it. It was annoying that other kids just wouldn't give a rat's ass about things like this and would do it for fun, but those thoughts were much better than his thoughts from earlier.
His study of the table came to a halt though when the outcast group of the high school came to his table. It would be his luck that, every time he moved to a different spot, the outcasts would follow him to that spot to give him more hell for no apparent reason. He moved from the table before they even got there this time though and moved to the railing that separated the parking from the "leisure grounds", since it was only tables, a gazebo, and a basketball goal that made it seem too ridiculous to even call it a playground.
As he sat, more people who had gone to the cafeteria to eat began filtering down to the front of the high school, most of them in groups, those not in groups joining the ones who were out front already. 'Wait one day. For what?
Watching all of these groups come down? Preps, jocks, outcasts,..." His stomach began turning as he watched them all come down like nothing.
He pulled a media player out of his pocket that he had, thankfully he thought, left at home the previous day by accident. As he put his headphones on and began searching through his music for something to listen to so to get his mind off of everything,...
A familiar color caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He glanced over and saw someone he recognized.
His eyes went wide as he saw the wolf who had "spoken" to him in his dream last night playing hack sack with a small group of "popular outcasts", a group of outcasts who still had some sort of sociality in them.
Thoughts about everything that happened though swam through his mind at high speed again. He looked back down at the ground in anger, comparing himself to a wolf, a lone wolf.
After sitting there a couple of minutes, he saw some steps come short of him near the base of a tree he was close to. He glanced up and saw the wolf again, this time looking straight at him. The silver and dark turquoise furred fox looked at the wolf for a moment. The wolf responded with a "How are you doing?" The fox just looked back down at the ground, not answering the wolf who just stood there until the bell rang, signaling the end of recess.
They went their separate ways, the fox still never acknowledging him. The last two classes of the day went by slowly as well, the fox thought. After they were over, he left the building and began walking for home again. He saw the wolf up ahead, looking like he was waiting on someone. The fox just walked by him though, not even bothering to nod or even say anything as he passed. After walking about ten or twelve steps, he heard steps behind him over the quiet music he had going from his media player. He glanced over his shoulder and, sure enough, found the wolf was following him. 'Great, he's pissed because I ignored him,' the fox thought as he picked up the pace, not really hoping to get into a fight on his way back home. The wolf followed suit and picked up his pace, but he kept a certain distance between him and the fox. After walking about a half mile, the fox broke out into a full run, the sudden burst putting a strain on him since he hadn't eaten anything over the past couple of days and only rarely drank anything during the time period. He looked behind him, thinking the wolf would give up following him. He wasn't surprised though when he saw the wolf slowly start building his speed before he was running as well, easily matching the speed that the fox was running at.
The fox was only able to keep running like that for a quarter of a mile, almost stumbling as he slowed down to a walk. As his chest heaved, his body begging for air or, to be more precise, energy, he looked behind him; the wolf was still following him, slowing down to a walk as well, but the short run didn't affect him as much. The fox growled lowly, cursing under his breath. He decided to just wait it out, to see what happens. He continued a normal pace of walking back to his house. As he rounded the corner to go to his house, he looked behind him again to see if the wolf would turn to another direction, but he was still following the fox's path. After a time, the fox finally got to his driveway. He was expecting to still be followed by the wolf, still expecting some sort of altercation. To his surprise though, the wolf slowed down at the end of the driveway, took note of the fox's house, closed his eyes and kept walking. 'If he would've gone uphill from the school, he could've gotten home a hell of a lot faster. Why did he follow me this far on a different route from his house just to walk past it?' He dismissed it when he got to the front door though, thinking the wolf was probably going to see someone else on the same road. There hadn't been any moving vehicles on the road the fox lived on, so he knew the wolf didn't live on the same road.
The fox got back to his bedroom and dropped his stuff on the floor. When he did, he glanced to the floor. The dagger was still there. He sighed as he picked it up. Without hesitating, he drew it close to his wrist; however, he was stopped short. He couldn't bring it to touch his wrist. His mind wrestled with the idea, but he couldn't bring himself to do it now. He cursed out loud and threw the knife to the other side of the room.
"I was so set on doing this yesterday. What the hell changed!?" He sat at his computer and leaned back, trying to sort out his thoughts again. "Hmm,... that wolf. ...He didn't ignore me. What was it he told me?" He leaned back forward and began looking around on his computer aimlessly for something to do. "'There's someone else who cares?' What did he mean?" After a moment, he shook his head. "Why am I even worried about it? He's just like all the others, no doubt about it." He sighed softly at his last words. "... No doubt, but... he still followed me so far out of the way. ... ... ..."
He left the topic alone for the rest of the day. When his family hollered for dinner time, he chose to wait until everyone else had eaten. His sudden change in attitude would cause a controversy, so he decided to let it lie instead. Came nighttime, he went to bed; when he did though, his mind thought back again to the events that had happened. He thought about it quietly though before drifting off to sleep.
******************************************************************************
The fox groaned softly as he picked himself off of the ground. When he opened his eyes though, he found that it wasn't ground he was on; this was the place where-
"About time you woke up here. Damn, you're a heavy sleeper, you know that? Even in your dreams. Now that's saying something."
The silver fox whipped around and saw the wolf standing there. His demeanor had changed though, or at least seemed slightly different.
"You know, it's rude not to talk to someone, especially if they ask you a question." He smirked softly though as he spoke. "Well, at least you didn't go through with it after all, huh?"
The fox stood his ground, a mix of emotions coming over him. His mind was hollering for him to speak because of all the questions he had, but his "dream body" wouldn't cooperate.
The wolf sighed as he continued, "We'll talk later. I was only able to do this one more time to check on you. Now go around saying, or even thinking, that no one gives a damn about your sorry fur ball ass." Everything was bathed in a bright flash followed by a sharp pain on the fox's head.
******************************************************************************
The fox woke up, his teeth clenched as he held the top of his head. Apparently he had managed to fall off of the bed, his head bouncing off of the support on the side of the old frame. The loud buzzing from his alarm clock didn't help his headache any; he reached over and jerked the plug on it.
This day went about the same as yesterday: slow dull classes consisting of lectures upon lectures. He had learned how to hide his headphones and did the work as the teachers lectured, not caring to sit there and die of boredom.
Just like yesterday as well, he went out front instead of dealing with the cafeteria food. He usually felt sick just from the smell of it, so eating it was something he didn't feel like even trying. Of course, when the outcast group came down, he moved to the railing again. He looked around subconsciously; he knew who it was he was looking for, but he didn't understand WHY he was looking for them. Eventually, the group who had been playing hack sack the day before came down. The wolf was with that group again, laughing, joking around, carrying on conversations with them like it was nothing, like he had always been here.
After a time, the fox looked back to the ground in front of him. Of course, when he did that, the wolf's feet appeared near the base of the nearby tree. The fox looked up to see him leaning against the tree again. "What's up?" the wolf asked in a calm attitude.
The fox just glared at him, though he seemed unphased by it. The fox looked back down at the ground, noting that the wolf was standing there up until the bell rang.
The day finished out the same, even with the wolf following him back home again only for the wolf to walk past his house again when the fox go to the driveway. Once again, the fox continued in his mind, thinking, pondering, trying to figure out why the wolf was doing what he was.
The next day was also the same, leading all the way up to lunch break. The wolf appeared by the tree near him again, but this time, the wolf didn't say anything; his face, however, showed concern. The fox looked at him oddly for it, trying to decipher the expression on the wolf's face. He didn't say anything to the wolf though, and when the bell rang, they went to their separate classes. The fox spent his last two classes thinking about the wolf, his dark mood having been melted by the wolf's concerned face.
When school was over, the silver fox began walking back home again, but this time he noticed that the gold wolf wasn't waiting to follow him this time. This strangely bothered the fox somehow, but he went ahead and began walking for his house. He chose to use a shortcut to get to his house and cut across the field he had ran through only days ago, only he took a more wooded path this time.
As the school disappeared from sight, he felt someone watching him. He looked around, but he didn't notice anyone around. He shrugged and dismissed it, thinking it was just from having been followed by the wolf for the past two days. As he continued walking, he heard a limb snap behind him.
When he turned, he was greeted by a fist of a red tiger and knocked sprawling to the ground. The tiger just laughed at him. "Hey, dumbass! You should watch where you're going." The fox heard two others join in on the laughter; when he finally managed to open his eyes, his vision was blurry but he could make out the figures of a reptile and of some blackbird. He had a good idea of who they all were though, seeing as how he had problems with them since he first came to school here.
The red tiger was Pato. He worked out quite a bit and was known for his sometimes violent nature. An A-class bully, he was known to challenge those who seemed a little weaker than most.
The reptile was a black lizard with neon green hands and back trail; his name was Itren. He was known for breaking into a fight and act like he was a good guy, but he'd always use embarrassment as a weapon against whoever they gained up on. Basically, he was the one who would sneak in a last punch in a fight, even if he wasn't involved.
The cackling crow was Rasch. She wasn't like the other two in that she did little of the physical bullying. Instead, she'd use little mind games to hurt people. She was also known as a little tramp who was owed favors for the "favors" she gave others.
The fox looked at the group as his vision focused. He could hear the crow say, "I'll watch out on the roads, boys. I know what you two have planned. I'll pass on that, but I won't get in your way." She gave a wink to them before walking off.
"What they have planned?" He was still so dazed that he didn't notice himself ask that out loud.
"Don't worry, runt. We'll take good care of you." Low chuckling could be heard from the tiger and the lizard as the fox tried standing. He thought he also heard something like a zipper, but before he could even think of it being anything, he was laid out on the ground again. The tiger burst into laughter again. "Aw, come on. Don't tell me that this is gonna be so easy! I enjoy it better when someone's in pain." Another chuckle could be heard from the tiger as the sound of what seemed like a zipper was heard.
Even after he was struck, the second time was more distinct. His mind tried to put two and two together, but the two punches to the head kept him from being able to finish adding it up. It didn't matter what it was they were planning; he had to get out of it somehow!
His balance was almost completely gone, but he managed to get to his feet, his back to his attackers. The tiger came up behind him and grabbed his shoulder to spin him around. As soon as the fox was facing him, Pato drew his fist back to punch him again. As soon as the fox saw the fist coming, he let his knees buckle under him, causing the red furred fist to go over his head and into the tree behind him. A loud yowl pierced the wooded area as the Tiger pulled his fist out of the tree, the cracking of his knuckles being heard faintly by the fox. He didn't have the energy to fend them off, and now he's just made Pato pissed off. The fox knew it; there was no getting out of this.
The fox just allowed himself to fall flat on the ground, surrendering to his fate. However, the plans that these three had in plan for him, or at least the two males, were changed into something more brutal. As the tiger recovered his senses, continuing to hold his fist, he proceeded to kick the fox in the side instead. Itren came over and began beating the back of the fox's head. Rasch was back by now and saw some of what happened, particularly to Pato's fist. She decided to work on the fox's legs, immobilizing him in case he found the energy to even move.
The fox felt life leaving him, his energy fading as the pain shot through his whole body; the pain gradually became weaker as darkness began to take his vision. The only thing he could think about was that...
Even though he never really knew him, he failed the golden wolf. The wolf offered a hand to him, and he was too consumed by anger and hatred to accept it.
His lips moved slowly, forming silent words as darkness enveloped him.
"... I'm... s-sorry..."
Not even a few seconds later, he felt a weight lift from him. Every movement against him stopped. Thinking he was finally dead, he opened his eyes to see what fate death had for him. Instead, he saw the gang who was beating on him. However, between them and him were two other feet.
"Get the hell out of here before I tear your limbs off, cowards!"
The fox managed to move his head slightly. His eyes caught the glimpse of the gold and crimson tail. 'Is he...?'
"And who are you supposed to be? By the looks of it, you'd be as easy a target as that runt!" Rasch lashed out at the wolf.
"It doesn't matter who I am! What does matter is the fact that your lives are now shit because of this!" The wolf charged at the group in a sudden burst of speed. The first punch tore into Pato's face, sending him flying back into a tree. Itren swiped his clawed hands at the wolf, but he grabbed the lizard's arm swiftly and brought a knee to the elbow, snapping the lizard's arm in the opposite direction. He finished getting him out of the way by slinging him into a tree next to the tiger who was rolling on the ground in pain. Rasch, however, pulled out a small knife and sliced at the wolf. The wolf dodged multiple slashes at him before he grabbed her arm, taking the knife from her and driving it into her arm. A loud scream of pain rang through the area before she was thrown onto the lizard. By this time, Pato had managed to stand again and lunged at the wolf. Caught off guard, the tiger's fangs dug into the wolf's right forearm. The wolf looked at him, his eyes seeming to change from the rich forest green to as crimson as parts of his fur. "If that was supposed to hurt, compare it to this!" His hand came around and pinched the back of the tiger's neck, catching a lot of nerves that caused the tiger to release the wolf's arm from his mouth, replacing the arm with another loud yowl. He followed this with swift kick to the side behind one of the tiger's legs, bringing him down to the ground on a knee. He brought the same leg around and kicked the tiger in his open crotch area, causing him to fall face first to the ground in pain.
The wolf took a breath before reaching for the yowling Pato's neck and raising him into the air. He snarled as he said, "I don't ever want to hear of your 'gang' doing anything like this ever again. If I do,..." He looked to the other two and threw him on the pile of injured. "... I won't stop at dislocated limbs. I'll move on to dislocated lives." He turned around and picked up the fox in both arms and began running off.
The fox remembered the feeling of being picked up, but he eventually passed out as the wolf ran, carrying him to where ever it was that he was taking him.
"...his... -ly kn-... ere?"
"...ame...here... didn-...ime..."
The fox groaned softly at hearing voices near him. His whole body was sore, his mind trying to recollect what happened but getting nowhere as he heard one voice that sounded familiar and one that didn't.
"Sounds like... awa-... nally."
"...ey. ... Hey. -an you hear me?"
The fox nodded his head slightly, although it was a bit of a stiff nod.
He heard a sigh that sounded like one of relief. "That's... -ood. ...was worried that... ou wasn't gonna wake up."
The fox's eyes slowly opened a little, his vision still blurry though. His mouth tried forming words, but pain was still keeping him from doing anything. Apparently the wolf he was looking at figured this out and shook his head. "Don't speak man. After a beat down like that, you need to just rest. I'll let your family know what happened, alright?"
An older woman's voice was heard. "No, you stay here. Your dad should be home soon, so you can tell him what happened. I need to go to the store anyways. Where does he live? I'll let them know."
The fox closed his eyes again, hearing faintly the wolf and the woman, who he guessed was his mom, talking.
When he opened his eyes again, everything around him was dark. Figuring it was night time, he tried to move. His body responded with shocks of pain, causing a loud hiss to escape from his mouth.
"Hey, not cool man. Stay there." The golden wolf came to the fox's side quickly, kneeling beside... whatever it was the fox was laying on. There was a back on it, so he guessed it was a couch or something, not particularly concerned about it.
The fox nodded weakly and relaxed back into the couch, his eyes slowly beginning to come into focus in the dark.
He could make out the green eyes on the wolf again, helping him relax a little more.
The wolf sighed lowly as he studied the fox for a moment. "You know, for someone who doesn't look like much, your ass still managed to stay in one piece." He looked at the fox's face and noticed his eyes. He saw he said something he shouldn't have, causing him to sigh again. "Hey, don't worry about it. You're tougher than you look, though why you took that group on was beyond me."
The fox closed his eyes, tears sliding down the sides of his face. The wolf grabbed his arm softly, trying not to hurt him any more than he already was. "You're alright right now. We'll take care of you for now. My mom explained what happened to your family already. They said you could stay here for now." He went silent for a moment before adding with a small chuckle. "Well, after getting into a little debate about what would've been a better idea, dragging you over there or letting you rest here."
The fox looked up at the wolf again, his expression like that of a nervous kit. The wolf smiled at him reassuringly. "I promise you right now, I won't let anything happen to you, alright?" This brought more tears to the fox's face; ignoring the pain for a moment, he flung his arms around the wolf's neck. Of course, the wolf was caught off guard by this, but he dismissed it since the fox had been through a lot of hell already.
Trying to think of something to talk about instead of just sitting there in a hug, the wolf finally spoke up. "That reminds me, I don't even know your fucking name." This brought a quiet laugh from the fox, to which the wolf chuckled back in reply. "You don't know mine either I bet. Name's Ronin. Yours?"
His voice was slightly muffled in the wolf's shoulder fur, but it was still audible. "M-My name's... Kino." He winced slightly though, the thought of the pain coming back to him and reminding him of his injuries.
The wolf chuckled again. "Yeah, definitely hard headed as hell."