FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

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CHAPTER 30

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"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Khaine snorted at me as I sat on floor.

I ignored him. I had collapsed to my knees after my last defeat at the paws of the Deity of War. She wore a cruel smile of amusement as she stared down at me. Her words, which she repeated once again, telling me to run; were full of condescension. I rubbed my neck, where she had sliced through in the previous vision. Did she know? How had she known where I'd be!? Then it struck me. She was having the visions as well!

Her words when she had appeared, hours before she should have, suddenly made sense! She had known that I would retrace my steps, and return to that spot to confirm the vision I'd had were real. So that last death was also just a vision. Just like the first one, it had felt so real! I had no idea that they hadn't been real until I had reappeared in the tower.

"What... is going on?" I muttered.

"What the hell are you talking about!?" Khaine spat, he was going to say more but fell silent when Callen placed his paw on his shoulder and shook his head.

"Calm yourself Little Wolf!" Davina said as she sauntered over and stood before me. I stared up at her, she looked like a giant as I stared up at her from the floor. "You want to know if what you're experiencing is real?"

I nodded.

"It is and it isn't." She smiled.

"What the hell does that mean!" I growled as I stood up to face her.

"The events you experience are real, in every sense of the word. You feel the pain and struggle of each and every death you experience. But once you die, Kira's power kicks in, and you return to the point in time which she has marked."

"What does that even mean?" Khaine asked.

"You don't remember the passage of time Little Wolf. Malakye remembers them because Kira has cast her power on him, but for you each time he returns, the memories you experienced are lost, because you mortals are unable to retain the memories of multiple potential futures."

"Then why does he remember them?!" Khaine pointed at me.

"Because he is at the epicentre." She responded. "And each time he is killed the trauma allows him to remember the events leading up to it. But a word of warning!" She turned and looked me dead in the eye. "Eventually the memories of all these potential futures, and the trauma you experience will take a toll on your mind!" She warned me with a serious tone. "Which is a grave concern for someone in your position."

She was referring to the spirit. I had trained all this time to create and reinforce my mental barriers, to buy me time while I gained the strength and knowledge, I needed to combat them. But if those were somehow irreparably damaged as a result of this test, then defeating Jan'Zar was the least of my worries.

"As I'm sure you've come to realise, Jan will not be going easy on you." Davina said sternly. "While I still stand by my earlier statement, that you are our best hope to prevent the potential future I envisioned from coming to pass, you are not our only option."

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course. There are numerous possible futures that avert disaster!" She smirked. "If you feel that your best course of action is to forfeit, and end this challenge, you simply need to break Kira's spell."

"Wha...?" I glanced over at Kira.

"Fret not Little Drake! You need not kill her!" She chuckled. "You simply need to ring the gong. That will shatter the spell, and you will no longer be trapped within the endless cycle of potential futures!"

"Gong?" I looked around the large chamber, and sure enough at the far end, standing in a dark corner was a large gong. I hadn't noticed it before.

"Once the gong is sounded, your perception of time, as you know it to exist, shall return." She confirmed. "You will go back to your training, and we shall select another to take on the mantle to stop the curi'nakra!"

"There is no shame in that choice Malakye!" Callen piped up. His voice full of worry and concern. "Your wellbeing is more important than the need to send you on that quest!"

"Of course you'd say that!" Jan'Zar scoffed.

"Shut it Jan!" Callen growled at his sister.

"At any rate, time is ticking away, and if your still here when the time for me to begin my hunt starts, you'll just be making my job that much easier!" Jan'Zar said with a wicked, intimidating smile; her gaze locked in to me.

I felt a cold shiver of fear go up and down my spine as I met her merciless gaze. I already knew that she would kill me without hesitation. My neck tingled at the memory of the cold sharpness beheading me in an instant. I steeled myself. There was little chance that I could win against the Deity of War, but at the very least I had to try. Now that understood what I was experiencing, I could plan accordingly. Also, it wouldn't do for me to give up so soon, Jan'Zar herself would lose any respect she had for me if I did!

"I'm not giving up!" I declared. "I will find a way to beat you!"

"Good luck with that!" She smirked. "I look forward to experiencing your struggle to achieve that goal!"

I grabbed my spear and turned and walked out of the tower. I had preparations to make if I was going to have a chance of defeating her!

***********

The familiar sound of a bell chimed echoed deafeningly in my head, and I was once again standing in the tower. I fell to my knees, still in shock from my last death. How many times had it been now!? I'd lost count! Time and time again I had fought in vain to defeat Jan'Zar. I'd tried every strategy, ability and trick I could think of to give myself an edge in combat. But time and time again she defeated me.

She'd broken countless bones, beaten me to within an inch of my life numerous times before finally finishing me off. In my last attempt I had been drowned in a river. I could still feel the cold water filling my lungs, and the burning heat in my chest as I suffocated. It was by far the worst death I had experienced so far; it was horrific!

"What are you waiting for?!" Jan'Zar scoffed. "RUN!"

Those words, which she had said each and every time after she had ended my life, now struck a fear deep inside my chest. I couldn't help but quiver in fear under her gaze and screamed! It was a deep primal scream, born of the anger, frustration and fear that had built up with each and every death I had experienced. Tears streamed down my muzzle uncontrollably.

"What the hell is wrong with him!?" Khaine exclaimed.

"MALAKYE!" Callen ran over and embraced me. "JAN! This has gone on long enough!!"

"He has the power to end this." She countered.

That's right... I did. All I had to do was ring the gong and this whole ordeal would be over. But I couldn't move. Even Callen's warm embrace was not enough to calm the overwhelming fear building inside of me.

"What is going on?!" Khaine demanded. "Why is he screaming like that!? The challenge only just started!"

"To you Little Wolf, it appears that the challenge has started." Davina replied to Khaine. "But in reality, Malakye has been killed no less than nineteen times now."

N-nineteen?! Had it truly been as few as that!? It felt as if this challenge had been going on forever!

"What do you mean killed!?" Khaine demanded. "Nineteen times!? How does this make any sense!?"

"I have explained this to you numerous times now, but as I always explain, you will recall none of this. Speak with your spirit if you do not believe me!"

After that Khaine fell silent. But I still could not move, my mind on the verge of breaking, it was taking everything that I had just to stop myself from falling into insanity! It felt as though my very sense of self was fractured, and the slightest wrong movement would cause me to lose that. I could feel the spirit pressing against the barriers I'd created, but they were holding for now, but if my mind shattered, what would happen to those defences?

"It's all right Malakye. I'm here." Callen whispered sweetly to me.

"Whether you are here or not, it will not stop the challenge!" Jan'Zar said coldly.

"JAN! I will not stand by and watch him suffer like this!"

"THEN LEAVE!" She snapped. I felt Callen flinch at her words, but he held me that much more tightly in response. "If you stand in my way dear brother, then I will deal with you in the same way!"

I zoned out at that point. I couldn't tell you what was said, or who said it, the only thing I was aware of Callen's warm embrace around me. I was totally lost in my own thoughts, trying to cling to what was left of my sanity, trying to gather the strength and ware-with-all to stand up and ring the gong in order to end this torture!

The next thing I was aware of was, was the chime of a bell. The same chime that happened each time I died, but there was one other time I heard it as well, which I had eventually realised marked the exact moment that Jan'Zar would begin her hunt. But I was still sitting on the ground, like a pathetic new-born runt, helpless to defend myself.

"JAN, NO!" Callen yelled as he tightened his grip around me.

I looked up past Callen's defensive embrace and saw Jan'Zar, her weapon aloft poised to strike, and before I could even try to do anything the blade pierced my chest. As the sensation of the cold steel entered my body, the sharp pain exploding from my chest, and my ability to breath was replaced by a torrent of red-hot blood spewing from my maw. One bell chime later and the pain vanished. The chime rang long and hard in my head, causing a splitting headache. I clutched my head and fell to my knees. The chime just wouldn't seem to stop, I screamed in agony until eventually it vanished. Only the lingering echo of the pain remained.

"It would appear the side effects of extensive potential futures are already having an effect." Davina sighed.

I reached up and wiped the blood that was pouring from my snout. The fragile feeling that I had vanished along with pain, and I was filled with an unbridled rage! I grabbed my spear and thrust it at her. I saw her eyes widen in surprise before she stepped back, out of range of my attack. She was just too damn quick! I drew upon both my own nen and the spirits power and created a powerful gale within the chamber. Kira shrieked in shock as she was nearly knocked over from the gale, but I didn't relent, my focus was purely on Jan'Zar.

"Khaine! Protect Kira!" I heard Callen shout, both of them immediately moved to standing between me and Kira. Khaine began his transformation into his beast form.

I charged at Jan'Zar, firing a powerful burst of wind at her. She braced herself against the gale, and swiped my following attack from my spear away with her halberd. While she had successfully deflected my attack, it had created a small opening I hoped to capitalise upon. She seemed to realise this the same moment that I did, and despite my best effort to strike her in the chest, she sidestepped my attack. I twisted my body to ready a defence of the attack I knew would be coming; I knew she would strike before I had found my proper footing, so when I blocked the blade of her halberd with the shaft of my spear, I was sent tumbling.

How she was able to generate such force behind such an attack, that could send me flying just from striking the spear I held, was beyond my comprehension! Time and time again I had felt that unnatural force during our battles, but I still could not fathom how she did it or how to counter it! The only conclusion I could come to was that it was an effect of her powers as a deity! A power beyond mere mortals; beyond even the most powerful of k'tan.

I rolled through the tumble into a crouch, managing to keep a grip upon my weapon as I did; blocking her attack had felt as though the spear was trying to rip itself from my grip! Using a firris stone hidden in the bandages on my wrist, I fired a powerful wave of flames at her, spread over a large area. An attack like this would not harm her, but it did block her view of me for a moment, but I could still track her as she was still within range of my nen bubble. I took flight, leaving behind a dense pocket of the spirits power, mixed with my own nen where I had stood. She sliced through flames, parting them with the sheer force behind the move itself.

As I plummeted down towards her, I registered the twitch in her expression, of momentary confusion as she realised, I was not where she had expected me to be. The pocket of nen and the spirits power had tricked her; just for a moment, but long enough for me to get into position. I took a small amount of satisfaction from her reaction, despite how well she had tried to hide it. My spear struck the marbled floor with an audible chink, as the tip bounced off of the surface; my attack had missed, sending a painful vibration up through my forearms.

She had moved at the last possible moment to avoid that attack. It was not the calm, measured reaction of someone who had been prepared to dodge the attack. Her balance was noticeably off, an immediate counter-attack nearly impossible for her, giving me the time I needed to rally. But I didn't need my spear to follow up. I had been prepared for this outcome! I had fought her too many times now, not to expect her to be able to avoid my attack. I used ren, a combination of two common techniques used by k'tan and tai'lar. I had supressed my nen in order to hide my approach, a technique known as rii, while she had been distracted by my decoy, while building up a large amount of power in my body, a technique known as ken. When used together, the build-up of power is hidden, allowing you to surprise your opponent with a powerful attack, but also allowed for a moment of explosive power!

I struck her with a powerful wind burst while she was off balance. She couldn't dodge it! She was sent flying, tumbling over the floor, her weapon clanging loudly off of the ground as she rolled. She was propelled nearly ten yards away before she had managed to right herself. She levelled a glare at me, which I won't lie, struck a primal fear within me, but I stepped forward, stomping the urge to run into the ground and readied myself. I wasn't prepared for what happened next however; she smiled.

A smile, which when combined with her intense gaze, was menacing to say the least. I'm sure any normal fur, that had not trained extensively as a warrior, would have fled the moment they laid eyes on such a sight. She looked less like a deity and more like a demon in that moment.

She said nothing. She didn't need to. Anything that she could have said was clear to see to anyone who looked upon her face. She was enjoying herself. I had landed a blow, one of a few in our many exchanges, but nothing that had done any lasting damage. I wasn't sure if she was enjoying my futile efforts to fight her, or if she was genuinely impressed by my last move. But I knew that our next exchange would be fatal if I made a single mistake.

I could not match her in speed, power or skill. She was just that much more powerful than me. I had sparred with her many times in the past during my training, but it was not until this challenge that I realised just how easy she'd been on me. I now understood why a legendary warrior such as Garr, who had been in her service for more than two millennia, had never come close to beating her even once!

After witnessing, and experiencing, her skill time and time again, I understood just how far beneath her I truly was! Just how powerful the Guardian Deities and their Champions were! And I thought I could reach that level!? That I myself could become a Champion?! What a fool I was!

A flash of movement, a clash of steel, as we exchanged blows once more, an exchange which ended with a sharp stabbing pain when my wrist used to be. A splatter of blood, and a soft thud followed by the sharp, metallic clang of my spear striking the floor. I gasped in shock, my eyes locked on the bloody stump at the end of my left arm, my hot crimson blood spurting forth, cooling quickly as it rolled down my arm to my elbow. I didn't feel the pain. I knew what I should have felt, it was not the first time she had severed one of my limbs. But this time the pain of the amputation was dulled as I felt my mind fracture; cracks forming throughout my mind as if it were a mirror.

Next thing I knew I was in my mindscape. Only the familiar campsite was no longer here. The ground was fractured, giant fissures surrounded me, and all I could do was stare up into the colourless void above, as the ground fell away around me. I knew what had happened, my will had shattered. The last of my will to fight had been put into that last exchange, and with the loss of my paw I also lost my will to fight, the desperation and depression from so many defeats, and painful losses that had built up during this challenge had finally taken it's toll.

The overwhelming emotions had rendered me helpless. Once my mindscape had fully collapsed, I would become a shell of my former self. I had been warned of this. The moment my mindscape completely vanished I would be vulnerable to the spirits attack. Even with time slowed to a snails pace in the real world, I had mere moments here in my mindscape to stop this collapse from happening.

The collapse was caused by the emotions that were flooding my mind, I could barely think straight as a result, but in these last few moments I still had the awareness to do something about my current predicament. But what could I do? I couldn't change the overwhelming emotions just because I wanted to... but I could stop them! Jan'Zar had spent months teaching me how to supress my emotions, and while I had never fully suppressed them, I knew how to do it in theory. But this was not so much as supressing my emotions, as temporarily eradicating them. Until the effects wore off, I would feel nothing. Love, hate, sadness, jealousy, desperation... they would not exist within my psyche. I never wanted to use this technique, but now it seemed like I had no choice! If I wanted to save myself then I had to use it!

"So you're going to turn yourself into a zombie?"

"I don't have time to deal with you right now!" I snarled impatiently at my doppelganger, who was now standing on one of the few rocky outcrops remaining within my mindscape, a wide, bottomless ravine stood between us.

"I can see why." He smirked in amusement, looking around at the self-destructing world. "Even if you do stop the collapse, your mind has been weakened by this event. And eventually you will no longer be able to contain me. Sooner or later I will be free to complete my duty!"

"Your duty?" I muttered, but I didn't have time to ponder his words. "JUST GET OUT!" I yelled indignantly, unleashing a powerful wave of golden light in his direction.

He didn't try to dodge the attack, and the light engulfed him. A few moments later he was gone, banish from my mindscape. But he had just stood there with a smile the whole time. And that irked me somewhat. But I pushed that aside and focused on the task at paw. I gathered as much spiritual power as I could, amassing it all as a golden mist in the air before me. I formed the spiritual energy into a chest; a golden, transparent chest.

Now came the most difficult part.

The chest popped open in response to my will, and I focused on the channelling my emotions into that chest. The weight of my emotions was incredible! But I couldn't just put the negative emotions in the box, this technique would fail within a matter of minutes if I did, I needed to put everything I had in here! By doing so I would buy days, perhaps even weeks, for my mindscape to properly recover before dealing with the negative emotions.

I strained as I pushed everything I had, everything that I was, into the chest. I opened my eyes to see a swirling mist of darkness falling into the chest. It was working! But I couldn't let up now! I closed my eyes and redoubled my efforts. Once I felt like a hollow husk of my former self, I willed the chest shut, and locked it. A golden chain formed around the chest and it then I pushed it down into the inky darkness of the ravine.

I believe I had been successful. I could feel a weight being lifted from my shoulders, but I also felt hollow. It was a relief and also very disturbing, but even those feelings quickly vanished as the memories of what it was like to feel emotions began to fade. I closed my eyes and left my mindscape.

I opened my eyes and I was once more looking at the bloody stump at the end of my arm, where my paw had once been. The pain remained, but I was no longer in rendered motionless by the shock of the event. I glanced to my left and saw the figure of Jan'Zar out of the corner of my eye, her posture suggested that she was poised to strike; likely planning on landing a finishing blow. There would have been little problem with taking that blow from her, I would simply return to the starting point of the challenge once more, my paw still attached at to my arm. That would be the logical thing to do.

But my body reacted by itself, following my natural instinct to survive! I leapt up, narrowly avoiding being skewered by her halberd. She was quick to follow up with another attack, a wide sweeping attack which I backflipped over. As I was mid jump, I corkscrewed my body so I spun in the air, sweeping my bloody stump in the direction of her face, splattering her with my blood. She winced and retreated several steps as she was blinded momentarily. I landed, somewhat clumsily, but quickly gathered a large amount of nen in my remaining fist and struck her in the gut with as powerful a punch as I could muster.

The blow elicited a quiet grunt from her as she staggered backwards. I felt as though I should have been more satisfied than I currently felt. It was the first solid blow I'd landed on her since the challenge begun. Regardless of how I felt, or lack of feeling, I readied my next attack, drawing upon the firris stone hidden beneath the bandages on my wrist I struck her with a torrent of powerful flames while she was still blinded and reeling from my last attack. The flames struck her, and she leapt away, slightly singed but otherwise unharmed. But that attack had just meant to buy me time.

I drew upon the spirits power and channelled it into the flames. The flames turned blue, as they burned hotter than before in response to the spirits power, and I hurled them at Jan'Zar. She regained her sight at that moment, I felt a surge of power from her and with a powerful sweep of her halberd she split the mass of flames in two, the two fiery masses flew past either side of her, striking the ground a short distance behind her. Our eyes met and she charged me.

I calmly watched her approach, and focused on the flow. Since suppressing my emotions, I could sense it just that much more keenly than before. I leapt to the left to avoid her opening strike, and then leap back to avoid the following sweep of her halberd, before stepping forward and thrusting the wind blade at her chest. She deflected my attack by striking my forearm upwards the shaft of her weapon as she spun it. I weaved to the right to avoid her following kick and then ducked to avoid the backwards sweep of her weapon. I rolled backward to create some distance, but she was upon me immediately.

I weaved my body to avoid the thrust of her weapon, but even using the flow I was too slow to avoid it entirely, the edge of her blade sliced into my scales across my left shoulder. I winced in pain and lashed out with my own attack. She sidestepped and weaved her body to avoid the wind-blade I'd swung at her, and brought the blunt end of her halberd across my snout.

The impact from the blunt steel knocked me to my knees. Stars exploded into life at the edges of my vision, and the side of my muzzle stung painfully as it began to swell, and blood poured from the gash the attack had left. I shook off the daze and tried to stand up, only for pain to explode in my back, knocking me flat to the ground. I cried out in pain, only for the cry to be stopped as I began choking on my own blood. I spat the blood onto the floor, wheezing desperately to breath and turned my head to look up, seeing Jan'Zar standing there, her halberd impaled in my back. Any strength I had remaining drained out of me as I lost more and more blood. I had been reaching my limit in regards to blood loss already from the amount I'd lost from losing my paw. I stared up at her until I no longer had the strength to hold my head up, and then lay down and closed my eyes, allowing the cold heaviness to take me.

A bell chimed loudly, echoing into the distance, and I found myself once more standing in the tower. I looked down at my paw, checking that it was still attached, and that the bloody stump was gone. I looked over at Jan'Zar, who wore a look of mild curiosity.

"You were different this time." She smiled.

"Yes." I nodded. It appeared that the seal on my emotions was holding, even after being reset to the start of the challenge.

"Malakye?" I turned to face Callen, who slowly approached and looked me in the eye. "What's happened? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." I raised my arm to show my reattached paw, but the gesture went unnoticed, or was ignored as I seemed to misinterpret the question he was truly asking.

"You did it, didn't you!?" He asked. "You really did it!" His tone was not one of amazement and wonder, but one of mild disappointment; but the disappointment was not aimed at me from what I could tell.

"He did what?" Khaine asked, obviously confused, since he never retained any knowledge of the past events.

"He sealed away his emotions." Jan'Zar smirked, striking the butt of her halberd off the ground in a gesture of celebration. "I never thought you'd actually do it!"

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked. "You taught me how."

"Your quite different this way." She smiled.

"Am I?" I asked curiously.

"You always thought sealing your emotions away was a fate worse than death!" She retorted. "I seem to remember you claim that you would never willingly go that far."

I remember that conversation. I remember feeling quite adamant about it. As though losing my emotions was the worst possible fate, one that I had feared. But now I felt indifferent to that thought. And the memory of my resistance seemed like it was another fur. What I did was perfectly logical, even though I my past self would have berated me greatly for becoming what I am now.

I looked at Callen. I remembered the feeling of love and admiration each time I'd looked at him. Each time we'd embraced, kissed or made love. The sound of his rhythmic breathing as he slept had brought me great joy. But now looking at him, I felt nothing. I didn't yearn to feel his warmth against my scales. To feel him cum inside of me as we fucked. I could feel the echo of those emotions as I recalled those moments in my mind, but those echoes faded as quickly as they came.

"Shall we continue?" I asked Jan'Zar, readying my spear.

"No. I do not believe we need to continue." She smiled. "I concede. You may undertake the mission, if you still wish to do so."

The mission? It took me a moment to remember why we had been fighting this whole time. The mission which Davina had named me as the best candidate to hunt down a curi'nakra. I remember I felt driven to accept the mission, and forced myself to go through this challenge to do that mission for Callen. To use it a stepping stone towards fulfilling the prophecy of becoming his Champion. I'd wanted that more than anything else. But now, I felt nothing about that goal. It would either happen or would not. So that was not a factor towards my motivation to accept the quest in this given moment. While I felt no drive to accept it, I had none to reject it either.

"Am I still your first choice?" I asked Davina.

"You are." She nodded with a smile.

"If I am the best chance of success, then there is no reason for me to refuse it." I declared. "But why are you willing to accept my participation now?" I asked Jan'Zar.

"You were willing to sacrifice your sense of self for victory." She replied. "Proving that you are willing to do anything to succeed. That combined with Davina's recommendation, is enough for me to accept it."

"What of the others?" I asked, referring to the other Guardian Deities who had been unsure of my candidacy.

"They left the decision to me." She smiled. "Either you would best me in combat, or you'd prove yourself worthy to be given this important task. I still have my concerns, but we will aide you as best we can, by giving you the tools you will need to accomplish this task."

"Tools?"

"I have given them a list of requirements, that should you undertake this quest, that you will need. Without them, you would undoubtedly fail in your attempt." Davina explained.

"I understand." I nodded.

"Wait?! That's it?! The challenge is over!? But he didn't do anythi..." Khaine began ranting but then suddenly stopped. A wave of understanding coming to his eyes. His spirit was likely explaining the situation to him.

"Let's go home." Callen forced a smile. "You will be exhausted after all of that."

"It will take a couple of days for preparations to be complete." Jan'Zar added. "Until then your time is yours to do with as you wish. I'd recommend that you get plenty of rest."

"I understand."

"Then let us return!" Davina clapped her paws, and suddenly a resounding clang resonated throughout the chamber.

I turned to the source and saw a robed fur next to the gong. Likely a priest stationed here at the tower. AS the sound of the gong washed over us, I felt the subtle spell that had been cast by Kira's boon break; the gentle sound of bell chime shattered in the back of my mind. With that Callen, Khaine and myself returned to the temple, while Jan'Zar and Davina went to consult with the other Guardian Deities over the results of the challenge.

Almost immediately after our return I felt immense fatigue wash over me. While next to no time had actually passed, in essence I had been awake for over twenty days with little to no sleep. The mental exhaustion had been building up this whole time and had suddenly hit me. When it hit me I felt woozy. Callen caught me in his arms before I collapsed.

"Here, let me help you upstairs." He said with a tone of mild concern.

By upstairs, I knew he meant to his room. Although it had essentially become our room, since I can't remember the last time I had not slept in his arms since we had rekindled our relationship. But it made more sense to head for my own personal chamber, which was much closer. I regained my balance and stepped away from him.

"It's all right. I'll manage. My chamber is closer anyway." I assured him before walking towards my room.

I didn't need to look back to know what I'd see. Even without being able to feel emotions I knew Callen too well at this point. He would be staring at me with pain filled eyes. Eyes that would have made me feel guilty and regretful. Feelings that would have made me run to him, embrace him and apologise for hurting him in such a way. It was strange knowing that that was how I would have reacted before and yet not feeling the need to actually do so. I considered if I should do it anyway, but I knew he'd forgive me for this. He knew the condition I was in, and he wouldn't hold it against me. I just needed to get some rest.

************

I opened my eyes to see a beam of sunlight pouring in through the small window above me. I lay there in drousy bliss for a few moments before my stomach grumbled painfully at me. Breakfast would be getting served soon. The thought of food was enough to drag me from my bed and open the bolt on the door of my room. I stepped into the corridor, a few acolytes were currently in the process of making their way towards the dining area. I stretched for a moment and then turned to follow them.

"Malakye!" Someone behind me called. I instantly recognised the voice.

I turned to see Goku, his large Masrur frame towering over all the other acolytes around him. I waited for him to catch up to me and continued walking towards the dining hall with him.

"How unusual it is to see you here my friend!" He smiled warmly.

"We see each other nearly every day." I countered.

"No." He chuckled. "I mean down here. Normally you stay in Lord Callen's room correct?" He said that last part quietly, so as to be discreet. But everyone had heard the rumours by no and it wasn't much of a secret.

"True." I acknowledged.

"Did you and Lord Callen... fall out?"

"No." I assured him.

"Then why are you down here?" He seemed puzzled.

"Should I not be?"

"There is nothing saying you can't be." He smirked. "But I know that if I had the choice of joining Lord Callen each night, I wouldn't be down here."

"I was just tired." I forced a smile.

"Are you all right?" He asked.

"I'm fine."

"If you say so." He didn't sound entirely convinced. I guessed that I was acting slightly differently with my emotions sealed away and he was picking up on that.

"I assure you I am quite fine. But I will be leaving in the next couple of days."

"Leaving!? Why?! Is this something to do with... I apologise. It is not my place to question..."

"You're fine." I cut him off. "I have been given a mission. I will be leaving to complete it and then returning to complete my training here."

"A quest?" He asked quizzically.

"Yes." I nodded as we entered the dining hall. The others noticed us and waved at us. Goku waved back as we went to go and grab our food.

"You don't need to tell me." He said.

"I don't mind telling you. I was not told to keep it a secret. And even if you don't mind not being told, we both know that Jasmine will want to know."

"Quite true." He sighed. "You may as well tell all of us at the same time then."

"Makes sense." I nodded as I grabbed a bowl of oatmeal from the server.

We made our way over to the table to join the others. Thinking on it, I was doing this out of habit, not the desire to be sociable. But I knew that if my emotions did return to me, I would feel guilty about not telling my friends where I was going, and would feel worse for leaving them without warning. But the familiarity of the situation resonated with something deep inside of me. Was this the emotions I'd locked away already starting to spill out? It was possible. The seal I placed had been made in a moment of desperation, so it was possible the seal was imperfect. The seal was not a permanent one in any case. My emotions would slowly return over time, and my mindscape had already recovered considerably. I should not be at any risk.

"Malakye?"

I turned to look at Jasmine. She and everyone else was looking at me with minor concern.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No... you just kind of spaced out." She quirked her head and let out a strain chuckle, obviously meant to relieve the tension of the moment. "Guko says you've got something to tell us?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I have been given a mission. I shall be departing in the next couple of days to complete it."

"A mission?" Jasmine's eyes sparkled with an intensity you only saw when she heard a juicy rumour. She was quite tenascious when it came to rumours. "What's the mission!?"

"I am to return to the Mortal Realm and hunt down a curi'nakra." I replied before taking another bite of my oatmeal.

"No way..." Kero went wide-eyed with panic, his beak slightly agape as he stared at me.

"They are meant to be incredibly dangerous!" Jrano commented.

"Normally such a mission would be led by a Champion, and often escorted by a squad of Rukan'dokra. They;d only send Rukan'dokra on such missions if they hold the rank of Var'tan." Goku commented. "Who shall be accompanying you?"

"As far as I'm aware, no one." I replied.

"T-that c-can't be right!?" Kero stuttered. "Why only you!? I know you're strong... b-b-but..."

"Davina claimed the best chance of success was if I was sent to hunt them down." I cut off Kero's ramblings.

"Lady Davina!? The Oracle herself ordained this?!" Jrano said in wonder. He was quite a fan of hers, and was working towards serving her. "Such an honour!"

"This all happened after you left us yesterday?" Goku asked.

"Yes. And plenty more besides."

"Such as?" Goku asked.

"There were some objections in regard to Davina choosing me as the one to undertake this mission." I explained. "In order to assuage their worries, I was given a challenge."

"What challenge?" Jrano asked.

"I believe it was the Trial of the Hunted." I replied.

"I've not heard of that before." Jasmine commented.

"Neither have I." Kero nodded.

"You went through that trial?" Goku asked. "Who were your opponents?"

"You've heard of the trial Goku?" Jrano asked before I could reply to Goku's question.

"Yes. It is rarely used. It is rumoured to be the most difficult of challenges that can be given to a warrior. Even among the Rukan'dokra, it a trial regarded with much fear. It has broken many warriors, even those among the Var'tan regard it with much trepidation."

"And of course Malakye here beat it!" Jrano laughed.

"Technically not." I said.

"Wait, how are you still going on the hunt for the curi'nakra if you failed the challenge?" He asked.

"While I failed to complete the challenge itself, I was successful in convincing Jan'Zar that I had what it takes, and accept Davina's recommendation that I take on the mission."

"How did you do that?" Jasmine asked.

"It does not matter." I assured her.

"If I may ask once again, who were your opponents?" Goku asked once more.

"If you weren't able to defeat them, then they must have been pretty strong." Jrano agreed.

"I had a single opponent." I explained. "The Deity of War herself."

"You fought against Lady Jan'Zar!?" Kero said with mild panic, as if he had just been told he was to face her himself. Jasmine pulled him back down into his seat, bringing him out of his panic, and he looked around sheepishly; many of the other acolytes looking at our table due to the spectacle he had just made.

"Yes. She is an incredible fighter. No matter what I tried, or how many times I tried, I could not defeat her. She killed me each and every time."

"What do you mean she killed you!?" Jasmine scowled in confusion. "You mean she defeated you right?"

"No. I meant what I said."

"So the rumours are true." Goku muttered. "There were rumours that the deities use their powers so that during the trial, the challenger can be resurrected. That they can die countless times, and that the challenge only ends when the win, or concede defeat."

"That is close enough to the truth." I acknowledged. "I'm still not entirely sure how they do it."

"But they killed you!?" Jasmine whispered furiously. "Literally killed you! Stabbed you!?"

"Yes." I said calmly. "In many different ways. If I recall correctly, the most unpleasant death was when she drowned me."

"She drowned you!?" Kero fluttered nervously.

"How many times did you die?" Jrano asked.

"I don't recall the exact amount myself. But I was told it was just shy of two dozen."

"Two dozen..." Jrano went wide eyed. "I don't know how you can act so normally after experiencing such a thing!"

"I don't know how you can be so calm!" Jasmine snapped. "If someone killed me, even once, I'd be pissed off! How can you be so calm?!"

"It would explain why you seem a little off this morning." Jrano commented.

"I'm acting strangely?" I queried. I had thought I'd been acting relatively normal, but I suppose without any emotions I would react differently to situations than normal.

"Nothing that I'd say was strange, but you're not quite your usual self." Kero muttered.

I explained to them in detail what actually had happened. How I had sealed away my emotions to save myself. What that meant for me, and how I would eventually get my emotions back. Of course, they had plenty of questions for me, so many that they still had many to ask me when our time together ran out, and they had to go to their scheduled duties and classes.

I was given free reign of my remaining time before my departure, so I didn't need to attend classes or training. I had considered going to class, but I wanted to know more of the mission that I had accepted. I decided to go and find someone who could give me answers.

I walked towards Davina's tower. There were two temple guards standing at the door that blocked the staircase. They were dressed in full armour; I couldn't tell what species they were. But they didn't make a move there was no mistake that I was attempting to pass through the doorway. They both turned, their paws coming to a rest on the hilt of their swords.

"HALT!" The Guard to my right declared. "You do not have permission to enter the tower!"

"I am aware." I agreed. "I request permission to enter."

"I am not capable to authorise that!" The guard retorted.

"I am aware."

"Then..."

"Please inform Lady Davina that Malakye is requesting an audience." The two guards exchanged glances. It seemed my request was not one they were expecting, or one that was commonly requested. "I have been chosen for a mission, named by Lady Davina herself." I explained. "I wish to speak to her."

"Be that as it may. We cannot grant you permission. Only a Priest, a Champion or..."

"Malakye?" A gentle voice cut off the guard.

"Lady Kira!" Both guards saluted as I turned around.

It was indeed Kira; Davina's Champion. The white pelted fox smiled warmly at me.

"Are you her to see Lady Davina?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Very well. I shall take responsibility." She declared in a soft tone, but her words carried significant authority.

The guards immediately returned to their original positions, now content that I was allowed to enter. Kira walked towards the door, and with a gentle push the doors swung open. I was impressed at how easily she opened those heavy doors. I followed her up the long stairwell to the top of the tower.

"Thank you." I said.

"Think nothing of it. Lady Davina was hoping to speak to you."

"She was?"

"Quite so. She has a vested interest in you." She looked over her shoulder at me with a smile. "You seem quite capable. I'm sure you shall live up to her expectations."

"And if I don't?"

She didn't reply with words. She just smirked at me, as if she knew something. But it was apparent that she had no intention of telling me what it was. It took several minutes to climb the stairs. She escorted me to Davina, who was lounging on a pile of pillows, a goblet in one paw and a vine of grapes in the other. She looked up and smiled at me as we approached.

"I've been expecting you." She smiled.

"Did you have a vision, or am I just that predictable?" I asked.

"I'll let you decide that for yourself." She smirked. "So, what do you want to know?"

"Don't you already know?" I countered. She just met my gaze and continued to smirk at me. "Tell me about the mission. Where will I find the curi'nakra?"

"In the North Eastern region of the Tribal Lands." She replied. "I cannot give you an exact location. But they are participating in the war currently being waged there."

"Are they dragon or wolf?"

"I do not know that either."

"Are you really an oracle?" I frowned, mildly frustrated at the lack of answers I was receiving from her.

"I can assure you that I am." She chuckled. "But as I said, I see multiple futures. I have not yet seen the curi'nakra, something is hiding them from me. Likely the Demon Lord they have made a pact with has taken precautions and protected them from my gaze. But I have seen the destruction that will come if we do not stop them. From there I worked backwards through the events which occurred in the vast majority of the potential futures, following the thread, and traced them to one of the five settlements surrounding the Northern part of the Zangarian Mountain range."

"They are in one of the settlements?"

"Yes, or at the very least are operating out of one of them."

"So how exactly am I meant to find them? I doubt that they are going to be obvious about it."

"That is down to you." She smiled. "I have however arranged for a tool to aid with your search."

Almost as if on cue I heard the door to the chamber open. I turned around to see Callen and Jan'Zar entering, followed by another individual I recognised from the meeting of the Guardian Deities. If memory served me right, he was Gallium; the Guardian Deity of Craftsmen. His current form was that of a drake with thick black scales. Scales that looks so thick that a spear would never pierce them! He rivalled Garr in size, but he wore simple leather and dirty cloth clothing; what you'd expect from a smithy.

"Excellent timing!" Davina smiled.

"Malakye? What are you doing here?" Callen asked.

"I came to ask Davina some questions." I said. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't reply, he just looked at Davina.

"So this is why you asked us to bring his equipment?" Callen asked her.

"What matters is that you are here." She said with an amused tone.

So she had summoned them, knowing that I would be here when they'd arrive? I guess she was an oracle after all. I had only decided to come and speak to her a short time ago, there was no way for her to arrange this by coincidence; not if she asked them to bring the equipment for me.

"As promised, I have arranged a few tools for your journey."

As if this scene had been rehearsed, Gallium stepped towards me, his heavy steps echoed throughout the chamber. He held out a sword to me as he approached. This close to him his scent reminded me of Zangar; more precisely the smithies and their forges. The scent of fire and steel. The scent clung to him like a heavy cloak. He had been at a forge recently. I bowed my head in thanks as I took the sword.

The first thing I noticed was the swords weight. It was perfect. Light enough that I could easily bear the blade in a single paw, but with a heft to it that gave me confidence in its quality. I didn't need to pull the sword from its scabbard, perfectly polished to mirror like sheen, to know that this sword was of the highest quality. I pulled the blade from its prison, and just like the scabbard the blade itself was black, and was a one-sided blade with a slight curve. I had never used a sword like this before, but I had seen one of the var'tan use one similar in design. They had called it a katana. Just looking at it you could tell how strong the blade was. It would not break easily. Unusually it did not have a guard, a fact I found a little odd. The hilt itself was made of high-quality black leather, that criss-crossed over a red ribbon that trailed from the bottom of the hilt.

"It is beautiful." I acknowledged.

"Thank you. This was crafted for you and you alone." Gallium relied stoicly.

"You made this?"

"Of course!" He smiled. "Even here in Aaru there are few smiths who are capable of forging a weapon like this, let alone in such a short amount of time. And even they are incapable of applying runes to it."

"Runes?" I looked at the blade once more. I could see nothing engraved on the perfectly smooth surface of the blade.

"They have been folded into the blade itself. They use the natural effects of the metal and enhance them."

Suddenly I realised what the blade was made of. Gallium. The same metal named after the Deity of Craftsmen himself. A metal that allowed k'tan, and anyone capable of using nen, to channel and store their nen in the blade. Even in the mortal realm the metal itself was incredibly rare. Weapons that were relics of the ancient war, all of which had been crafted by Gallium himself during the great Demon War. My father carried the remains of such a weapon, but it had a gallium core rather than a blade made entirely of the metal itself.

"The blade will not only enhance your capability in battle, but you will be able to use it to help control the spirits power." He explained. "So long as it has a sufficient supply of your kii, it will also repair minor damage it receives over time, and will remain as sharp as it is now."

"That's incredible!" I exclaimed. Looking at the blade with new found awe and respect.

"It is a weapon worthy of a Champion." He said bluntly. "Do not misuse it!"

"I will not. I shall cherish it."

"I had intended on making you a spear after hearing that it was your favoured weapon." He rumbled. I looked at him curiously. "But Lady Davina was infuriatingly insistent on you have a sword such as this."

I look from him to Davina. It was strange that she would be so specific about the weapon I was to receive. I was far more proficient with a spear than I was a sword. But I had received considerable training with swords as well, so I would be able to use it in a fight. I'm sure she had her reasons for such a request; she was an oracle after all.

"And so, we move on to the second tool at your disposal!" Davina said cheerfully, motioning towards Callen.

"With the authority of the council, I hereby confer upon you a title." Callen declared in a tone I'd only heard him use when addressing a crowd. Whatever this was it was an official declaration. "The council has approved Lady Davina's recommendation to bestow upon you the title of Daemon!"

Daemon!? That was the title held by legendary k'tan. Ones recognised by the Guardian Deities by their deeds during the Demon War! Their deeds had been immortalised in stories for centuries. Why was I being given such a title?!

"Why..."

"Don't let it go to your head twerp!" Jan'Zar barked. "Davina's recommendation only just managed to garner enough support from the council for you to be allowed to hold such a title! I don't believe you are worthy of it! No matter who recommends otherwise!" She shot a glare towards Davina; one that held a great amount animosity behind it.

"I shall endeavour to not besmirch the honour of those that have held the title before me." I replied.

"Other than the original k'tan, only four other furs have held that title! You do not understand its significance." Jan'Zar growled.

"Jan." Callen sighed. Jan'Zar huffed at him but it seemed it was enough to cease her angry tirade.

"And now for your third and final tool." Davina said, obviously in an attempt to change the subject. "A knife given to all Daemon, crafted from what your kind called a perception stone."

A perception stone was a tool used to read the affinity of the k'tan who channelled their nen through it. A useful tool in helping to train young Zangarian k'tan. But how would such a thing help me discover the identity of the curi'nakra? Gallium offered a sheathed knife in his outstretched paw. I bowed my head in thanks and took the knife. I pulled the blade free and examined it. It looked like it was made from glass. A moment later a faint white light flicked from within the blade itself.

"The blade is made from a purified perception stone." Gallium explained. "It will react to the nature of the one who holds it, without the need of them being able to channel their kii into it. When the blade turns blood red, the one holding it has been corrupted by demonic power. If it turns black, then you will know the identity of the curi'nakra."

"That will be useful. Thank you." I bowed my head once more to him.

"With these tools at your disposal your chances of success are improved dramatically. However, it is down to you to decide how you use them!" Davina declared.

"I shall do my upmost to ensure that I succeed and that I live up to the trust you have given me!" I declared confidently.

"You shall depart tomorrow. I recommend that you complete any preparations you need for your journey before then."

"I shall help you." Callen offered. I nodded my head to him in thanks.

I knew he was wanting to spend some time with me before my departure. I still could not reciprocate his feelings, but that did not mean I did not understand them. Allowing him to help me was as much a kindness to him as his offer of help was to me.

After leaving the tower Jan'Zar stormed off by herself. Gallium excused himself, leaving Callen and I by ourselves. With his help I gathered enough supplies for a few days' worth of food. I had asked him about some armour, but he had to decline my request, even though I could see he wanted to give it to me. It was apparently one of Davina's requests that I was not given any armour to take with me on my journey, nor any coin to be able to acquire any. I was allowed to use armour if I was able to procure it otherwise.

There was no conceivable reason why I was not allowed even basic leather armour. But this was Davina's request, and often times oracles did things for unfathomable reasons that more often than not remained a mystery. I was given a hooded travel cloak, standard issue for Rukan'dokra that departed on missions. It was light and effective against the rain, but not particularly warm, but that was not really an issue for me; I was able to use my fire bending to regulate my body temperature so that cold weather was not an issue.

After we had finished our preparations Callen asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I didn't mind, but he seemed to want it, so I entertained his suggestion and we began walking around the temple grounds. It was strange, not feeling the emotions I remembered feeling in his presence. It almost made me question if they were really my feelings at all, or if they had belonged to someone else. Looking at him I could see how someone could be attracted to him, but I felt no such attraction in this moment.

We eventually came to the Eastern Gardens. An area filled with trees and flowers, and was a popular place for furs to come and lose themselves in their own thoughts. I had spent some time here myself and got lost in my own thoughts, trying to work things out when I felt overwhelmed. As we rounded a corner Callen suddenly pushed me against a tree and pressed his muzzle to my own.

After a few moments he slowly pulled away. The kiss had been intense and lustful on his part. I had just stood there and accepted it, hoping that it would sate him; knowing that it wouldn't. He looked me in the eyes with a pained, longing expression.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"No... I'm sorry." He sighed. "I shouldn't have..." He stepped back, his ears flat to his head, and his gaze looking everywhere except at me. He eventually looked me in the eye and asked, "Do you really not feeling anything?"

"No." I shook my head. "I remember the feelings I used to feel, like echoes, but even those fade."

"I see." He whimpered.

I was not used seeing him so vulnerable. Did my current state truly upset him so much? Even when we were alone, where he would openly show his emotions to me, I had never seen him like this. There was a part of me, deep down, that desired to comfort him. But it was not a strong enough feeling to act upon.

"This is not permanent." I reminded him.

"I know. It doesn't make it any easier." He forced a smile. "You are leaving on a dangerous mission, one where you could die."

"I'm not going to die easily!" I declared. "I have been thoroughly trained!"

"I know that."

"I will complete my mission and return."

"I know that."

"Then why are you so worried?"

"BECAUSE!" He exploded, catching himself. "Because I don't know what I'd do if I did lose you! The thought of this being the last time we speak to each other..."

"It's not the memory you want if it's the last time?"

"Yes. I know it sounds selfish!" He admitted. "But you must understand, I have cared about many mortals, for many different reasons, but time is a cruel mistress."

"Because we die and you don't." I understood.

"Yes. And I don't want my last memory of you being like this."

I stood and thought about what I could do to help him. If I could feel emotions as I once had I knew I'd be able to console him; but that was the problem wasn't it? Now, in my current state I was second guessing each and every idea I had. But there was perhaps one thing I could do for him.

"I will spend the night with you." I stated.

"You will?"

"Yes. We can make love as well."

"Is that because you want to, or because you think it will make me feel better?" He asked. I wasn't sure if I should lie or tell the truth. I had no desire to sleep with him. Sex seemed entirely unappealing even though I knew how pleasurable it could be. I took too long to reply, and he seemed to realise this for himself. "I see. Thank you for the offer. But if you don't want to do it, I don't want to either."

"Sorry." I apologised.

"But if you would, I would appreciate sleeping next to you one last time."

"Until I return." I reminded him.

"Until you return." He smiled.

"With my emotions returned." I pointed out.

"Hopefully." He smiled a little more. "But even if they haven't returned by then, I will be happy to see you return back to us, safe and sound." He leaned in a gave me a gentle kiss on my brow.

"I will return safely."

"I'm going to hold you to that!" He smiled. He was obviously feeling better now. "Well then, why don't we go get washed up for dinner? The Priests are preparing a special meal in honour of your departure."

"Are we going to be having meat?" I asked curiously.

"Yes."

"Goku will be happy." I said, remembering Goku's pleasure on the rare occasion the acolytes meals included meat.

"HA!" Callen laughed heartily. "Yes, I'm sure he will be."