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The ride home was anything but relaxing for me. I thought things over and everything my grandmother told me seemed to make sense. That it's not a wrong thing. It's not and I know that, but it's a lot harder to live with, especially when people around you wouldn't understand any of it. I kept thinking about it and before I knew it, I was home. The moment I opened up the fence gate, I saw a silhouette moving along the kitchen window. That's not a good sign if Catherine was standing there... Looking at the display of my mobile phone, I noticed it was half past ten... And five missed calls from home... "Fuck, I knew I forgot something..." So I quickly closed the gate and locked it, placed my bike in the shed, locked that door as well and made my way to the kitchen door. A gentle click was heard, the door opened up and there she was, standing in the doorway, looking very pissed at me... She quickly nodded and that basically meant that I had to get my ass inside... When I got in, Catherine closed the door and locked it... And then she faced me...

'Just where have you been...?! Do you even realize what time it is...?!'

'I was at grandma's house and yes, it's half passed ten.'

'And you couldn't even give us a call...?! You haven't been home all day...!'

'I'm sorry, I just forgot the time!'

'I called you five times, Ceylan, how could you not notice it...?!'

'Uh, because I was talking to her and got so carried away in that conversation I didn't even hear my phone?'

'Well, some conversation that must've been... What were the two of you talking about anyway? What's so important that you can't discuss with us?'

'About people who meddle too much with other peoples lives...'

'You think I'm meddling with you're life...?!'

'Alright then, nosey people...'

And at that point, I turned around to walk away to get upstairs to my own room. I was tired, had a shitty day and wasn't in the mood to keep listening to Catherine's bitching... But apparently, she wanted to continue...

'You get back here...! Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!'

'Just what the hell do you want to hear from me?! I was at grandma's, we talked about something that's not any of you're fucking business to know and I forgot time!'

'You watch you're language there, young lady!'

'This is so ridiculous! Why the hell you're always doing this?!'

'Because you live in my house and under my rules, Ceylan!'

'You pretty much disallow everything I want to do! I don't call that "rules", I call that "preventing Ceylan from having a good time!" I'm not allowed to go out with friends and now I'm not even allowed to hangout with my own grandmother on a Friday evening!'

'That's not the point! The point is that you should've called!'

'Yeah, I know that already! How many times are you gonna repeat that?!'

'For as long as it needs!'

'Well, thanks for the trust. I get the point. I'm not a fucking cub anymore...'

'Keep up that attitude and you'll be grounded 'till the end of the year!'

'Whatever, I'm going to bed...'

This was just one of the countless arguments and fights that we had. It was like this almost every day and I didn't know why she was always so overprotective. I couldn't hang out with my own friends in the evening, afraid that I was "getting into trouble again". As if she was ashamed of me or something...

And with that, I walked away from her to get to my own room and closed the door behind me. When I closed the door, it felt as if I was entering my own sanctuary... No one was allowed here... No one could disturb me... And just like that, I closed myself down from the outside world... When I took off my clothes, it felt as if I was being liberated... Flopping down on my bed naked only made the feeling more intense... I love being naked and alone... It makes me feel like I'm the only one on the planet... Most of the time, it caused me to play with myself a little, but not that night... My mind was empty and the only feeling I felt that night was that overwhelming sense of freedom again... The bed-sheets feel so soft on my fur... Feeling it where you normally don't feel it... Feeling it between your legs for example... I curled myself up in bed, holding on to my tail... Gently caressing the white tip of it, cuddling it, as if it's the only friend I have on this planet...

Things started to change after that... Simon and I had our talk as usual and Catherine also talked to Simon about what happened. And Simon actually agreed with me. Catherine was being way overprotective... So she reluctantly gave in to give me more "freedom". That basically meant that I was allowed to do what every normal sixteen year old teen would do. Except I wasn't a "normal sixteen year old girl". So I got back to Mikaela and Sarah as often as I could... Mikaela and I were fucking each other each time we got together... So nothing really changed when I started to spend the night at her place again... But things didn't last long...

On one particular night when I was with Mikaela, we only had sex for a short period of time. And I thought it was weird because it normally wasn't like this. She was very quiet that night... Throughout the night, she seemed to be carried away in thoughts... I saw something in her eyes that night that seemed to be more of an issue than I thought each time I saw her... Loneliness... Sarah, Kevin and Jason weren't home that evening... They stayed at her aunt's place that night... But for some reason, Mikaela never interacted with her relatives, nor did she ever mention them... And after we fucked each other, there was nothing but silence for a long time... I was holding on to her hand while we both stared at the ceiling but I felt her hand was shaking... It only seemed to get worse by the minute...

'Are you alright...?'

'Yeah... Y-Yeah, I'm fine, sweetheart...'

She gave a weak smile, but the shaking didn't stop... After a moment, she sits up right in bed and opened up her nightstand drawer. She gets out this small plastic bag filled with pills and takes one from it... She puts it in her mouth and swallowed it and after that, got out a different bag, filled with green and brown stuff and a large transparent rolling paper... Mikaela puts some of that stuff on that rolling paper and carefully rolled it... But because her hand was shaking, she dropped it and everything fell down on the floor... 'God damn it!!' Mikaela kicked her nightstand out of frustration, making her bed light fall down and it broke into fragments... Letting out a deep and depressed sigh, she looked down for a moment and picked it all up... It took her more than ten minutes to roll a stickie with her hand shaking and all, but she was being more careful than she was before. And then she got out a lighter, twisted the paper on top and lit it up... Mikaela took a deep inhale, held her breath for a moment and blew the smoke through her nostrils... And then she faced me... After she took the first puff, she finally seemed to calm down...

'You want a hit...?'

'Sure...'

So... Yeah, I've been smoking cigarettes ever since I've been with her. But I never smoked a stickie before. The moment I inhaled, there was this kind of tingling going through my head. And the moment I exhaled, I felt very light in my head and I started to have some nasty coughs... I felt very dizzy when I opened my eyes again...

'How the hell can you smoke this shit...?'

'Drugs are our mates, Ceylan... They keep us sane in times of insanity...'

Mikaela got down on her back again and stared at the ceiling while taking another hit. She looked over to her nightstand and gently rolled her stickie in the ashtray to get rid of the ash...

'Have you ever wondered what it's like to take your own life...?'

'What...?'

'Have you...?'

'No, why'd you ask...?'

'It looks so simple to do...'

'Why do you wanna kill yourself...?'

'Oh, don't mind my ramblings, Ceylan... I'll be fine... I just do what I always do...'

'Which is...?'

'To ask myself that question to why I'm here and what my purpose is in life... I know what it is... And each and every day, I get confronted with it whenever I'm looking in the mirror... It's disgusting, really...'

She takes another hit from her stickie, held her breath for a moment and exhaled through her nostrils... Mikaela had these little coughs and scraped her throat while she continued staring in blank space towards the ceiling... And it stayed silent for a while again while I noticed the tears started to roll down slowly from her cheek... So I moved closer to her and rubbed my cheek against hers while giving her little kisses every now and then...

'I feel like giving everything up... I don't wanna live anymore, Ceylan...'

'What about me, then...?'

'Heh...'

She didn't really think about that... She gave a weak smile and caressed my cheek, followed by kiss...

'You and my siblings are the only reason, you know...'

'What do you mean by that...?

It stayed silent for a long time as I wiped the tears away from her eyes. I placed my head on her chest and felt her soft fur... Her heartbeat... Her loving arm clenched around me, holding me close... She got hold of my hand and firmly squeezed it... And then she started talking...

'I was never happy, you know... I wasn't raised by my parents, but by the fucking nanny, seeing as my parents are rarely home... And whenever they were home, we only saw them for as long as they liked. They think we're just some fucking objects that can be put away whenever you don't need it. They wanted kids but just don't want to be around them... But we thought they'd actually love us...'

'Heh...'

'And as I got older, I noticed things. I noticed how my friends were getting along with their parents and why we couldn't. When I asked my dad one day, he told me that they've got business to attend to, being the executive and all, travelling around the world. Pssh... Fucking lame excuses... It's bullshit... And it's the reason why Sarah, Kevin and Jason are so close with each other... And then one night, my dad came in my room and closed the door... I woke up when I felt that he was caressing my ass while whispering in my ear that daddy's little girl's ass was so matured... And how bad he wanted to feel my fresh tight pussy lips around his hard cock... So he pulled my panties down... And when I started to struggle, he turned me over on my stomach, firmly grasping my arms... I screamed out loud when I felt the unbearable pain but... My screams got muffled by the pillows... And when I told mommy... Well... Mommy just fucking watched each and every time it happened...'

'Oh...'

'I became pregnant when I was sixteen... Carrying his baby... They forced me to take an abortion when they found out... And I only humiliated myself more than I already was... I told the doctors I had sex with a friend because I was too ashamed to tell the truth... Even though it was my father's kid, it does something to you when you loose your own child... It felt as if a part of me died that day... My family found out that I was pregnant and my parents told them I fucked a friend and that it was an "accident"... So my relatives didn't support me because it was all my fault... They all disapproved of the things they thought I did. And they don't know the truth... My parents wanted to keep it like that... To keep it a secret... It could cost them their jobs if everyone found out... So they gave me loads of money to stay quiet... The only reason that I'm still here in this house is because of Sarah, Kevin and Jason...'

'Why'd you never go to the police...?'

'In all honesty, Ceylan... If your own family doesn't love and support you in the first place, how the hell can you expect an outsider to do so...? I gave up on that a long time ago...'

'I see...'

'You, Sarah, Kevin and Jason mean the world to me... I've got nothing to live for if it weren't for you guys...'

Despite everything she ever told me about herself, I never changed my opinion about her... And I guess that's the reason why she loved me so much. People all around her changed and that's the exact same thing that happened to me. And I guess that's the reason why I stayed with her... You get to pick your own friends but you can't pick your own family. And I too, never chose for this... If my family was still alive, how different would things have been...? And again, I was the outsider for not being part of her family... But I showed her more love than anyone ever did... No words could take away the loneliness in her eyes and to ease her heartfelt sorrow... So I held her close and did what seemed best for me to do... Gently wiping her tears away...

Things at high-school didn't really change. Except me going to the principal every now and then whenever I insulted yet another teacher or whenever I was beating someone up for looking funny at me... I was really moody that morning... More then I normally was... I was messing around in my locker and when I looked to my left, there was this cougar girl messing around in her locker as well. I've seen her around... Oh yes, she looked so beautiful, being the most popular girl, with her long blonde hair and thought she was the hottest thing around... Wearing tight jeans and an even tighter top to make her tits look bigger. She still had bigger tits than me though, so I figured I should do the same to make my tits look bigger. One of her friends joined her and they started giggling and talking... I can honestly say that it was really pissing me off because her friends laugh was so annoying... But I know her kind all too well... The cougar girl walked away and the other girl was also messing around in her locker not too far away... These are the kind of girls crawling around on the floor of the supermarket in search for the lowest prices... So fucking stupid and innocent... I slammed the door of my locker and picked up my bag. And when I started walking, that girl turned around too, causing her to bump into me and to drop our stuff. 'Watch where you're going, you stupid cunt!'

And with that, I gave her a push. Buuuuuuut... A little bit of a rough push. I don't know my own strength... She fell down on the ground and when I picked up my bag, I noticed that cougar girl again...

'Hey! Why the hell was that for?!'

She got to us and helped getting her friend up. And then she walked towards me and struck some heroic pose, as if she was trying to intimidate me.

'That was uncalled for! What the hell is you're problem?!'

I wasn't even responding to her. I walked right passed her and all of a sudden, she pushed me instead... 'Hey! I'm talking to you!'

'Push me again and I'll break you're hands...'

'Go pick on someone your own size!'

'Who, like you?'

And she pushed me once more but this time harder, so that I fell against the lockers... Of course, I got pissed off by that so I got up and punched her right in the face... She fell down on the ground and I saw a little stream of blood going down her nose... I got kinda startled by that... She jumped up, clenching her teeth while looking very pissed... She threw a punch at me but I managed to dodge it and instead, she hit the locker... I thought I saw a little dent in there too... Now I know these lockers weren't high quality steel or metal or whatever but she wasn't showing any signs of pain... And at that point, I learned a valuable lesson. I know I was gonna regret hitting her... Seemed to me that I'm not the only feline with a short temper who knows how to fight... "Oh shit..." After that, I received a kick in the waist followed by a punch on the muzzle..."She's good... Way too good!!" It looked nothing like a girl fight, more like the K-1 World Championship Tournament. I managed to grab her arm and I swung her against the lockers, followed by a punch in her stomach... She managed to hit me in the face several times as I tried my best to block her attacks... The fight only lasted for a short moment because we got separated by teachers. I looked at her and noticed that cougar girl had several cuts on her face and when I wiped my mouth, I noticed blood on my hand. And well... I got beaten up pretty badly by her... Of course, we got sent straight away to the principal after our little showdown... Hehehehe... The principal told me that she was wondering when I was coming... So we told the principal what happened and she was calling Simon and Catherine... But that cougar girl didn't get off the hook so easily as well. The principal thought she did well by sticking up for her friend but that it shouldn't have been answered with violence. So her parents got called up too, seeing the severity of the fight and well... How much it got out of hand... Except I was most likely to be expelled and she wasn't. So after we both went to see the school nurse, we had to wait in the waiting room in front of the principal's office for our parents... It stayed silent for a long time while we were both staring in blank space... And she got up and walked towards a vending machine... She inserts a fifty cent coin and got back with a Kit-Kat... She opened the package and looked at me...

'Want one...?'

'You're offering me a Kit-Kat?'

'You want one or not?'

'No.'

'M'kay...'

So she started eating and within no time, she gobbled it up... And then she threw the wrapper in the garbage bin next to her. Her hand was covered in chocolate the moment she wiped her mouth... I was studying her for like five minutes and I came to my own conclusion. She's not that much of a girly girl or a miss goody good two shoes like she appeared to be... At some point, she noticed I was looking at her...

'Look, I'm really sorry for what I did, but you deserved it... You really acted like a bitch back there.'

'Hm...'

'This is the part where you're supposed to apologize as well.'

'To you?'

'Yeah! My friend didn't do anything and you just pushed her! You just had it coming!'

Having inconsiderable amount of time to think her words over, I came to the conclusion that she was right. I overreacted... A simple insult would've been enough...

'Well, you started pushing...'

'I know and I'm sorry for that. But I wouldn't have done that in the first place if you just apologized... I'm just so sick of people like you...'

'Whadda ya mean, people like me?!'

'Bullies! People who think their so cool when their picking on other people!'

'I'm not a bully...'

'Well apparently, you are... You deserved it... And now you're dragging me down with you.'

'Hehehehe...'

'What's so funny?'

'You are...'

'Yeah well, you're the one getting expelled for a week; I'm just for the rest of the day expelled.'

'True...'

'Hehehehe...'

'I'm sorry...'

'What?'

'I said I was sorry...'

She let out a deep sigh and looked down for a moment... People were walking by and some of them got something out of the vending machine. To be honest, I felt hungry and wish I took that piece of Kit-Kat from her...

'Heh... Doesn't really matter now we both got in trouble for this...'

'Yeah...'

'Still... You fight good... Pencak Silat...?'

'No, Tae Kwon Do... You?'

'Kickboxing... Been doing that for years now... I got the orange belt...'

'I got the green belt for Tae Kwon Do...'

'Sweet...'

'Hehe...'

'You're actually not that bad when you're not getting into a fight...'

'Excuse me?'

'I've seen you around, you know... You, getting into a lot of fights.'

'Oh... I never look for trouble... Trouble always seems to find me instead.'

'Hehe...'

'Myeah...'

'I'm Samantha...'

'Ceylan...'

Moments after that, her father arrived to pick her up... And it's actually kinda of funny to see. Samantha's looking all tough and got this big mouth attitude but the moment her father arrived, she wasn't saying anything and tried to look as innocent as possible. The moment she left, she looked at me and smiled while I smiled right back at her for pretending to be so innocent... But that smile got wiped away pretty quickly when I saw Simon...