Fat Bunnies
#12 of Dumb Stuff I Wrote on the Fly
For the week-long holiday I'll probably miss.
So, Arglot, Junkfood Depository, is all about a greedy scamp who reigns over his garden and demands cadbury cream eggs from his underlings. The oppressed rablets get rolled over and squashed by Arglot if they do not comply. Welp, one day, they get the idea to overfeed him. They promise a neighboring state that they will return a thousandfold the food that they borrow. Thus, the neighbors fork over all their food, which is forced down the Arglot's gullet through heavy machinary until he explodes. Instead of a reign of food, though, it's a reign of rabbit pellets. Not interested in the fertility value of the crap, they chase the rabbittoners with torches and pitchforks. Because get real, who wants to eat yucky plants and turnips?
Tale 2. Hmmm... Papa rabbit? So, the kids all wonder what the Easter bunny wants with all those damn eggs. They've outgrown arts and crafts and they want to know if spraining their wrists over the frickin easter projects is worth their while. So, one day, they reject curfew and watch as the Easter bunny, named Literally Easter Jackson, hops along to take his dues. Take his taxes, as it were. "Sorry East. No labor this year." Easter stomps his food and threatens to send his cousin Wester after them. They shrug. He leaves and flings dirt towards them threatening that they'll be sorry. The rest of the story follows Easter, looking for some leverage he can use against the kids. He spies on them as they study for finals... this story is bullshit, isn't it?
Well, basically, the kids actually discover that Wester bunny is a false threat, then give Easter an egg to eat, but April Fool, it's a secret compressed air tank that releases the air when eaten. Easter inflates in the shape of an egg, then he floats to the planet Chicken where he is hatched into something the space hen rejects. We don't know what it is, though. Space hen kinda sucked at descriptions.