Yea, life sucks...
I drifted in and out of consciousness. The blinding bright light, the deafening silence in the darkness. I kept recalling everything. All the spoken words made my stomach churn.
"... you're dead to me..."
How could I have said that to her... I felt my own betrayal tear me up slowly on the inside.
~~~
The blinding light, it struck me again. I felt something, it was more like a sense but I knew it was there. Something was caressing the fur on my arm, I ached to know who it was.
"Ugh... hee-ee-el...." I felt my jaw close in mid sentence. I needed hydration, water... anything!
A faint voice began to speak.
"Dear... Doctor, will he be ok?" It sounded feminine to me, soft and angelic.
"Yes ma'am, he'll be perfectly fine. Maybe just needs something to drink." The second voice. It sounded more deeper, gruff.
I began to regain feeling in my body. For a second, it felt heavenly, but that was until the blood was rushing through my veins. They felt like hammers pounding at the back of my mind. I panicked, I know that my physical self didn't even budge, but in my mind, I screamed out in agony. The scenes, they flooded my mind again.
"... you little fag..."
The straw that broke the camel's back. I guess I took it the wrong way. I should've just stayed shut. No, I got sick and tired of her useless ignorant ranting. I had to eventually stand up for it. That just happened to be the wrong time. Stood up for myself... ended up hit by a car.
The dreadful moments. The good thing about my subconscious is that I don't only have bad memories.
"Oh my God! You got two 4s on the state exams! I'm so proud of you!"
She, my mother, embraced me in a huge hug and bought me ice cream afterwards.
I grew up without a father figure. Yea... mom needed him, but I didn't, for sure. I grew up thinking he was a bad drunk. He would drive his cock into his own ass if it weren't attached to him.
Mom, she was a very needy person. At times when she felt she had everything she needed, she wanted more. An insatiable hunger for possessions.
Me, I grew up a humble wolf. I never wanted anything. I only asked for the things I needed. I felt like the only sane person in my life. Like if insanity were the 'normal' things in this world.
"... you're a waste of space and time..."
That was my mom. I walked in on her in midst of her angry drunk sex with Luke, my stepfather. I was 13 at the time. I held my jaw open in awe and backed away slowly. The next day, she got into an argument with me about her privacy and stuff. She then called me a waste. I felt hopeless, empty. I just needed a person who even remotely showed that they cared...
~~~
I woke up again. The pain was still there, it was probably worse then before. I felt the tears roll down my face as I tried to roll over . I managed to only turn my head, but I saw the most heavenly figure ever.
She was a human. She had medium long brown hair. She was staring at me. Her eyes for the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Soft, metallic silver eyes. She got up and rushed over to me, embracing me in a hug.
The light was poking in through a shade. From the looks of it, it was probably dawn, maybe around 8 in the morning.
"Good morning..." I could barely speak. She caught distress and went over to get me a small cup of water. I drank it greedily as soon as it reached my hands. I cleared my dry throat and looked at her once more.
"Good morning wolf. I've spent these past 6 weeks waiting for you to wake up..." She let that sentence die at the tip of her tongue.
"Oh really? Well that's sweet of you..." I was wondering about my mom. Did she even know about what happened to me?
"Uh... hey... did someone else come to visit me?"
"Uh.... no, I actually came with you to the hospital, no one but me..." She ran her soft hands through my fur and smiled faintly. I looked up to her and looked back down to her hands.
"Oh... thanks. So....how long have I been here?"
'Ummm.... about 6 weeks actually."
"Ugh.... damn. That's a long time." The pain hit me pretty hard afterwards. My paws raised up to hold my head. All of a sudden nausea hit me. Every force in m body worked against me, rendered me into silence.
"Oh my god! Are you ok?!" She reached over to touch my shoulder.
She was about to head out when I grabbed a hold of her hand.
"Please.... don't leave me here alone... I've been gone for too long... I might leave forever this time..." I looked at her wit a sad look in my eyes. I've grown attached to her even if I barely knew her.
"Please don't... I've heard you talk during the nights. Who ever mistreated you, doesn't deserve you. I know that all you want is to love and be loved... please don't sleep again."
My translation to her words: I love you, don't leave me, I need you.
My heart bursted with joy when she spoke those lovely words. I felt the tears stroll down my cheeks, wetting my fur. She reached down kissed me softly before she headed out the door, in search for a doctor.
I rolled around in the bed. All that pain was unbearable. I wanted to close my eyes. Everything blurred up around me again. A soft buzz, a loud hush, and the steady beep of the heart monitor. Everything went black and was rendered unconscious once more.