For Charity
A friend of mine wrote a story. For charity.
Heyo, y'all.
The following is a short role-play between Drigil (myself) and DiggerGallin (that guy). I play as Darren, the bully character from Donny and the DNA Disease, Chapter 1, and Digger plays as Kerry, a drug-dealing black marketeer business-teen.
Because I like to keep my stories clean and child friendly, I have censored out the more adult words, and will let the older and more mature audiences exercise their ever creative imaginations instead.
Without further ado, here are our characters:
Darren wrinkled his nose as he slept. The scent of raw asparagus and dried carrot wafted out his open window, only to be rejected by the wind outside, which blew in unannounced an unhappily. If he had ever changed his bed-sheets once in a while, he wouldn't smell nearly as much like his own sweat every morning. But it was his preferred smell, as he found it the most effective smell to get what he wanted.
Darren, in short, was a bully. No, he wasn't a poor misunderstood child who only ever wanted attention. Those were both his parents, and they were never cured of it. Instead, they raised their son with the professional help of various alcoholic "assistants". They implored upon him their unrefined beliefs so that he did not know or care about anything different. Throughout his life, he was raised on the ideology that it was a dog-eat-dog world out there, and usually the bigger dog was the one that feasted that night. Either he thrived, or he didn't. Plain and simple.
Darren took that advice quite literally. He was huge. Over six feet tall and nearly six feet wide, he gorged himself off the school lunches he "obtained" from the weaker, more easily intimidate kids. long, greasy blonde hair partially obscured his beady brown eyes and thick nose plastered on his face like it was punched on. His shirt was two times too small, but it was his favorite, and just like his bed-sheet, he didn't dare risk losing its charm in the wash. Only his jeans seemed to fit correctly on him, tightened around his pudgy waist and helping to keep his bullying kid-friendly.
He was the school menace. The kids knew that, and secretly regarded him as the sort of mob leader of the school despite him not having a gang. it was so much easier to work on his own. He didn't have to share with anybody.
However, this sort of show of force was all he really cared about. He never did he homework, nor paid attention in class. Even gym class saw him rejecting his teacher's orders and paying for it with pushups - something he decided he would much rather do anyways, and the instructor really couldn't complain.
The only thing he was actually good at was pretending. Pretending to pay attention in class. Pretending to listen to his parents. Pretending to follow the directions of his counselor whom he had met on a weekly basis. They were bigger than him, and he knew that if he lashed out at them, they would team up and overwhelm him with sheer numbers and experience. So he got on their good side with a well-practiced smile of innocence and a carefully chosen palette of polite words.
His pretending landed him the duty of hall monitor, a responsibility his counsellor believed to be just what he needed to start respecting responsibility. Of course, just the opposite was happening. He would hunt down kids who simply couldn't hold it in, and with the extra leverage that they were on a very slim timer, had no problem extracting what he wanted. Be it money, food, homework, or simply the satisfaction that his fists still remained harder than their skin.
Did they tell on him? He didn't care. He denied everything, stopped his actions for a while if he was put on probation, then started up again after the heat died down. His parents never knew how to do that. He would become better than them one day.
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I am Kerry. The local dope dealer. I am the richest kid in school. And still I deal dope. I just turned eighteen. Orange hair. Green eyes. A roughly average look.
I am the one kid in a business suit and a briefcase. I even wear a fedora. I dress like an adult businessman. Little do my parents know I deal dope.
I pretty much am the weed connection. The entire school. And the suburb and mall surrounding it.
I don't actually smoke dope. I realize that stuff is bad for you. I drink alcohol. And have awkward teen sex.
My parents have no idea I deal dope. They just think I'm another rich and popular kid
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Alright, now for the setting:
The sun reflected off the many windows that outlined the sides of the William Garostaph High School. Named for its founder; the son of a wealthy banker, built solely in the hopes that building a high school would build up their reputation as a bank that looks out for society. The media would often try to convince everyone otherwise, but there is no force greater than the word-of-mouth that connected the citizens of Kalepston like a neural computer network.
What were the builders thinking? The bare minimum, apparently. The school was almost a perfect rectangle, stuck in the middle of a field of concrete, surrounded by the occasional struggling tree or piece of foliage in plots of dirt a mere third of the size they need to thrive. The gym was set in the center of the building, surrounded by a loop of grey-tiled hallways that connected to classrooms on either side. Classrooms, or the extended rooms that took up the space of multiple classrooms for more public features like a cafeteria, teacher's lounge, or everyone's favorite; the two sets of bathrooms on the opposite sides of the building. Once nature called, the "no running in the halls" clause was a mere guideline.
Fortunately, its dull monochromatic metal exterior and inner layout was the only thing bad about it. It hired good teachers for fair pay, class sizes were moderate and within reason, and it contained more than enough facilities that warranted the foundation of different clubs and after-school activities.
One of the smaller yearly events that helped gather everyone together was the food drive. Or, as they loved to call it, the Peaches for the Poor Festival.
The concept was a simple one. Throughout the course of a week, students all brought a number of items from home or nearby stores to donate to the drive. Depending on the type and amount of food donated, they received points that could be put toward a prize, like a toy, school supplies, or other crafts generously donated by, naturally, other students.
The four female supervisors of the event took it on themselves to go around the school reminding everyone of the event and helping to take donations from those unable to get to the small, wooden stand positioned just to the left side of the school building. Within the shade (to keep the food cool, of course), a large white tarp-covered tent stood shielding the small wooden trailer that folded out into a three-directional booth. Donations went inside, and when it was full, it was merely hitched up to the sleek black pickup truck, taken away, and then returned to begin the process anew.
It was always a very successful event. One of the few that actually were. On the other side of the spectrum, the rat race they attempted to hold in the gym last April did not at all go very well, and three teams of exterminators got a very good bonus that day. Was it luck? Was it the skilled leadership and flawless coordination of the four sisters that ran the drive throughout various areas of the city?
Or was there another reason so many people were enticed to donate to a greater cause?
______________________
we have been stealing. from the charity festival. just pocket change. we get busted. by the principal
______________________
...
OK, then. Let's begin.
Man, I'm not a club teen. The nerds can have their sissy friends, and the debaters can yak until their voices grow hoarse and their lungs fall out. Which I really hope happens one day; that'd be real funny.
Nah, the way I see it, they're just a bunch of three-legged deer banding together because none of them are better than the other and they can all relate in some way. But when a predator comes in, it's every guy for himself, and despite their companionship, they are still three-legged deer. Ain't gonna last long.
I'm the predator. I don't need nobody. I got all my legs, and my arms, and every inch of glorious muscle they've got with them. Mwah. Mwah.
I don't even care that they cover the halls in those awful colorful fliers, march around in groups giving handouts in the hopes of adding to their numbers, and host those school-wide get-togethers where classes are put on hold so we can all gather in the gym and listen to people talk about stuff we can pretend to care about. Mere nuisances.
... but DANGIT I HATE THAT$#&ING FOOD DRIVE!
Comes out of nowhere because nobody ever tells me, has double the number of adults wandering around, and nobody's got any extra food cause they all DONATE it away! Food for the needy, my%#- I AM THE NEEDY THAT NEEDS THAT FOOD!
So now I gotta starve for the week. It's just the worst! I can't take yet another one of these fasting weeks!
... on the other hand... oh shoot, I'm thinking of stuff. Out! Out of my head, nerdly thoughts, I can't...
No. This is food. Food is the most important meal of the day. I will need to compromise. Just this once... I will think like a nerd... nobody has to know...
Maybe I'm looking at this wrong. It's not that the shrimp don't have anything to provide me. It's that they do. Much more than usual. And they've put it all in one convenient location just for me. All I'd need is a minute, and I could score enough food to last me the entire week all in one go. Heck, I wouldn't even have to go back to school for the rest of the week!
Brilliant! I guess that's why nerds like thinking. I'll remember to respect them a bit after I clock their faces in.
So that's where I'm going. I took my usual morning bathroom break in the middle of class (weak bladder; the adults will believe anything if I do it enough). Fewest people then. Easy for fishing. But unlike the usual morning, I know exactly where my target is.
Heh. Look at this. There's only one of those skinny gals there; the others usually go around the halls, peeking into classrooms to remind everyone that they are there. As though the flashy white tent wasn't enough.
For food drive folk, they are ridiculously thin. i could probably floss my teeth with their arms. Ah right, they donate all their food, so they got none to eat. Morons.
I approached casually from behind. She's still looking out toward the crowd of people in the main courtyard. She didn't even notice me. This can't be this easy. But hey, I'll take it. I'll just crouch behind this counter here.
There it is. The large cardboard box with my prize. Ooh, it's already nearly full! I can't believe I never thought of this each time I've repeated the tenth grade (they don't just 'let you pass' - go figure).
Wooden cart. Darn thing's so old and rough you can't even touch it without getting splinters. But since when does that stop a lion like me? I'm invincible. Simple fact.
Still ducking behind the counter, I thrust my hand through the crack in the back. I felt around. There's the cardboard. There's the lip. My arm can go in up until the shoulder. Let's see what we've got. Tin cans... cardboard boxes... metal... come on, there's gotta be something plastic and tear-able. Cardboard... ooh, paper, maybe that-
Hold on, is that... a human hand? What the-
"And what do you think you're doing?"
The #$?! The chick got eyes in the back of her head?
"Was jus' lookin'." I replied, turning on the charm, "Yer've already got so much. Gonna break yer record again?"
"That is the plan." she said, letting go and allowing my hand back out of the crack between the door and the counter.
"Got trouble seein' far away." I shrugged, "My bad. No harm, no foul."
"Mmm..." she hummed, pressing her lips together, "No, I think there's a bit of foul here."
"Alright, I'm sorry." I shrugged, looking at the ground (I've got this #$%@ rehearsed), "I was just hungry. I won't do it again."
Slowly, she opened the door. Slowly, she stepped outside. Slowly, she leaned forward and looked me in the eye. I don't back down for nothin', and that helps me feign innocence, so I didn't move.
"Oh, it's not that I don't believe you," she smiled, grabbing my wrist once more and pulling me over to the door, "It's just I would like to hear it from somebody I believe more. A second opinion, if you will."
"Woah, wait." I said, trying to pull away, but for tiny thin fingers, they were STRONG! It was like she had my wrist in a web of fishing line!
"I... I don't think that's necessary." I said, "Really, I won't come by again."
"I just like taking precautions, that's all." she smiled, shiny white teeth reflecting sunlight. #%^$, they could've been glowing; they were bright!
"But, your cart!" I exclaimed, pointing, "Shouldn't you look after-"
The door opened, and another of the girls came striding out. In a bit o a hurry, it looked like.
"Janice, take over please?" my captor asked.
"Of course, Beth." she replied without even looking at us. She didn't even pause her stride. It was like... she already planned on doing that...
I couldn't speak. What were the chances of that? I thought my timing was fantastic, but it was the absolute worst!
She pulled me through the halls, refusing to let go of me despite every last argument I had against it. i prayed with all my soul that nobody was around to see this.
Nevertheless, I scrunched my face into as neutral a face as I could. This was fine. I wasn't in trouble. I wasn't getting detention. I just had to get somebody higher up... maybe the principal, to vouch for me, and she'd release her wiry fingers. Easy. The guy's a bit of a nerdy wimp himself. He doesn't like confrontation.
Yup, principal's office. Big surprise. She hauled me over to the three waiting chairs. Principal was no doubt busy. She sat on the close end, leaving me to sit in the middle (because she STILL... WON'T... LET... GO...).
There was another kid seated on the other side of me. Same age. Kinda pale. ... ohh, very pale. If the kid wasn't a zombie, I'd be very surprised. Better watch that he doesn't bite me.
I'll talk to him. Guilty people always avoid all eye content. If I talk to him, it'll show that I'm relaxed. ... dangit, I'm still nerd-braining. I'll double my pushups when I get home. That'll teach me.
"Yo." I said, "Whatcha waitin' for?"
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Yo sup the name iz Kerry yall! An I am 18 years and a teenager and an adult and Im like all rich and stuff. I deal with drugs and I sell them on the school and nobody knows and thinks I am just a rich kid businessman but actually a teen. So one day I get caught an all and Im like **** and stuff and the girl is a witch and she takes me to the principal an Im like "hey man dont ****ing do that" an shes all "i hasta you ****er" an now Im in big trouble becuz she saw me dealin' **** and **** and Im gonna get punished real hard!
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Oh my flying... ah, *ahem*... um...
Unfortunately all I got from the teen next to me was a low grunt. From under his dark grey fedora, he stared into the space in front of him, mouth dangling open a bit, and drool trickled down onto his seamless grey suit. The briefcase leaning against his denim pants was slowly sliding down the tiled floor, and any second now would clatter to the ground.
For what little it was worth, I scooted away from him. Was the guy really a zombie after all?
"Uh, ma'am?" he asked the girl with the iron grip, "Is he OK? Does he need help?"
"Ah, that's just Kerry." she replied, parting her long black hair with her free hand so she could see him better, "We caught him trying to deal drugs just around the corner from us. We did not want him to ruin our reputation as a family-friendly outlet."
I just couldn't take his eyes off the boy. How was there not a pandemic out for him?
"Isn't that more serious than what I did." I asked, "Why did you let go of him?"
"Oh, Melissa he figured that he wasn't going to go anywhere, so we let him stay here." she said casually.
A thought crept into my mind. Any more overtime and my brain was going to overheat. Huh. I could get used to this.
"You didn't... drug him or anything, did you?" I asked. I felt my lip trembling a bit. Muscles or not, I know the danger a single hypodermic needle could pose. The school had some very effective (and catchy) public service videos. Sometimes I even found himself ironically humming the tunes as I scarfed down the lunches I "took" from other kids. Annoying.
"Of course not!" Beth exclaimed, surprised at such an accusation, "Surely you jest at the very idea we'd do a ridiculous thing like that!"
"Jus'- just makin' sure." I stammered, "I don' wanna get made into a vegetable either."
Beth chuckled. For a considerably short amount of time. Then she grew silent. Suddenly my entire left side grew cold. I spun to look at her and could swear I just caught of glimpse of Beth deep in thought before she quickly relaxed her face and tried to look innocent.
I know how to pretend to be innocent. I recognized that look. She wasn't innocent. Far from it; it looked like she had suddenly gotten the most brilliant idea.
"Yer- yer not going to do that to me, are ya?" I asked quickly.
"It IS an idea..." she murmured.
The sound came out of my mouth before I could stop myself; "WHUH?!"
A swift whistle got both of their attention before the conversation could continue.
"The principal is raaaady to see y'all now!" the secretary called out, her large mouth flapping wider than it should be.
Beth stood up, hoisted me to my feet (not like I couldn't do it myself), and then crossed over and grabbed Kerry's wrist and pulled him up just the same. Kerry stood up obediently, his pale face wincing. She hauled both of us into the office together, as though we were partners in crime. The nerve; I've never met this guy.
Before I knew it, I was once again standing in front of the large oak desk, being gazed upon by the all-powerful eyes of the principal.
...
Just kidding. The man's a wimp. He'd probably let me go even if I did confess to every single time I slugged a shrimp in the schnoz for talking back to me.
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So the big man's all like "yo, what'd ya do this time" an Im all "I didn do **** old **** suck my ***** and a ****** ***** ******* plastic *****" an he goes "right thats it yer done outta here ****face!" an cuz the girls are witches they went an turned us into trees an Im shoutin "hey turn us the **** back ****ing *******ing ********ers" an they laugh at us and say "you both deserve it" and Darren goes all "**** man we're *****ed!"
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... ...
I... had no idea what was going on. One moment Kerry was standing there, bobbing his head around, and the next he suddenly went off on a great big mood tangent. He staggered toward the principal, called him some choice words, and before he could stammer out a response he threw his head back, violently vomited all over his desk, and passed out, dragging Beth down to the puke-filled with him.
"Oh my God, someone get this kid to a hospital!" the principal exclaimed, leaping away from his desk as though it caught fire.
"It's fine, it's fine." Beth smoothly assured him, although she did not like her predicament one bit. I was starting to think that she had nothing to do with Kerry's condition. He staggered back to his feet, his suit now stained with more colors than a suit should ever have, and returned to his docile, undead state.
They left the room while three men in thick rubber suits marched inside with several litres of bleach and stained towels.
"So, what seems to be the trouble today?" the principal asked, standing in the doorway as authoritatively as possible.
"Oh, just a couple of troublemakers." Beth said casually.
The short grey-haired man stroked his short beard and looked the two of us up and down. Figured, the dude barely recognized me. Nobody rats ME out.
"What, these two? Troublemakers?" he asked in disbelief. I couldn't hold back my smile.
"This one's a drug dealer and this one's a thief." she explained, nudging us respectively, "Surely you don't encourage these sorts of acts in this school."
"Wha- nonsense!" the principal said, "Beg your pardon, ma'am, for not believing you, but these two are some of our finer students. Darren here is one of our more ambitious hall monitors and Kerry helps to keep the student economy running through good business practice."
Beth's eyes squinted. Her tone of voice dropped an octave.
"Kerry sells dope undercover in the shadows of the school building," she said sternly, "And Darren robs other students of their lunches, beating up those who don't obligue."
The#%$? How the hey did she know I did that? No, don't show surprise, Darren. Look confused.
"What're you talkin' about?" I asked for added effect.
Our principal leaned even closer. His nose wrinkled at Kerry's suit's newly squired smell.
"Is this true?" he asked, the most serious I've ever seen him. Which really is saying something.
"No!" I said, desperately hoping I had the right tone of voice, "No! I never!"
Even Kerry shook his head. Seemed he was there with us after all.
The older man sighed and closed his eyes.
"OK, then." he muttered, "She says you did, you say you didn't. Let us pretend... hypothetically, that Beth here is telling the truth."
I didn't like the sound of that at all. He was using big long words and it sounded like he was siding with this strange woman.
"Would you be content with me expelling the two of them?" he asked the woman.
Her eyes widened.
"Expulsion?" she asked, "Oh goodness me, I don't think that's really necessary! Far from it! Expelling a student from school is like punishing a kid for crashing their bike by refusing to give them a bandaid!"
"Then perhaps they are told not to do it again and they not bother you for the rest of the week?" he crossed his arms.
She laughed to herself through her long, thin nose. Silent. Subtle.
"No, I believe some sort of punishment is in order." she said, gazing up toward the ceiling, allowing herself time to think, "You are a busy man, so why don't my sisters and I handle this ourselves and let you get back to work?"
I held my breath. I was already creeped out by this quartet of black-haired women with fingers as strong as steel chain. What would they even do to us?
The principal's eyes widened just as much as hers did.
"No, I could not do that to you." he quickly and politely declined, "You are already working so hard as it is. It would be unfair to make our problems yours."
Beth's smile dropped a bit.
"Oh, but we simply must insist!" she asked, making a pouty face that adult ladies usually used in order to try to charm a man. Ohh, I really hoped it wouldn't-
"Absolutely not!" he said, "This is my school, so they are my responsibility. I could not possibly let you have to deal with this."
I had to cover my mouth to hide my smile. Yessss! He was getting rid of her! Whew! For a moment there, I thought that we were going to be-
"COFFEE!"
We all jumped (except for Beth, but that no longer surprises me). Another one of the black-haired girls strode into the room holding a tray filled with paper cups and lids. Small wafts of steam were barely visible from the lids.
"Coffee for the principal?" she asked, her voice a bit raspy and dry. She really needed a drink of water.
"Oh! Why thank you, Sammy!" the principal said, taking one of the cups. The woman then swept over to the secretary, who grabbed two of the cups and gave her a look of jealous disgust.
"Really, though, sir," Beth tried again, "It's no trouble at all. We can handle these boys and you won't have to worry about having to write anyone up. It would be our pleasure."
The man held up his free hand.
"I'm sorry, Beth," he said, putting his foot down, "But I must follow the school regulation. If these boys really were breaking rules, then I need to note it in their records and punish them appropriately. If, in fact, they really were breaking rules, which we will need to investigate in due time."
No, he won't. It would be way too much trouble for him. Good job, principal sir! Maybe I'll bring you a candy bar once all this is over.
He brought the cup to his lips and drank. Despite the steam, it wasn't nearly hot enough to burn his mouth, and he downed several gulps.
"Not too hot?" Beth asked, her eyebrows slanted.
"Mmm..."
There was a long silence. I felt her grip tighten slightly. It had loosened a bit a while ago and I had forgotten it was even there.
"Uh, Beth, you can let go of us now." I tried once more, "I ain't gonna run away from the principal or nothin'."
"Mmm..."
The principal was still humming. His eyelids drooped and his head swayed for a moment. Weird, I thought coffee was supposed to wake people up. Was this a different kind of coffee?
"Last chance." Beth said, "Are you sure you are not willing to let us handle this ourselves? Save you some paperwork? I promise it would be worth your while."
"Mmmm..."
His eyes opened. His pupils looked a little glazed, and he stared not at Beth, but at the wall behind her.
"You know, you are... you are a very nice lady." he said, "And it... it would be rude of me... to refuse... letting you do such a good deed for me."
My jaw dropped. Kerry's eyes widened.
"Please, if it really is no trouble..." the grey-haired man droned, "I will leave the two of them to you."
WHAT THE #^$%!?!
"None at all. Thank you, sir!"
"No, no... thank YOU..." he said, and he turned back into his room, forgetting entirely there was an entire clean-up crew within. The strong scent of chlorine burst through the door for a moment before he closed it behind him.
Beth's grip tightened again.
"And that's that." she smiled, spinning around and yanking us out of the office, "Let's go boys. Time for your punishment."
My heart was beating like a snare drum. Sweat poured down my forehead and soaked my shirt. What did this crazy lady have in store for us?!
__________________
Bet took us both by the hands and she made us outside an stuck us in the middle of the big field and said "now you pay for your mistakes!" an I said "get away from us you ****face we *****ing did no ****** bad thing!" an Daran say "Yeah we good kids, ******" but she says "no yer evil and bad and naughty an evil and now you pay" and she waves her hands around and the other witches waves their hands and then we were trees and I yelled "noooooo change us the **** back you *****ing ****** ******er ****** nose ***** ******* pea ******** skin ******* **** *******" and Daran said "you cant ******ing do this ***** ******, ******!" but she laughed and they all laugh for hour and then we greww fruit all over our branches and they started picking the fruit and it felt so *****ing GOOOOD and I said "more more *******!" and they said "yes ***** ****** yes!" and they pick all the fruit and it was the best ****** ***** like ****** ******** a ***** ***** *** ******** ****** all over ******* ****** ******** swiss cheese ******* ******* ***** ******* ****** armpits.
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... *sigh*... OK, so all that actually happens, but just a couple minutes before all that:
She hauled us outside. I had tried time and time again to convince her that we really didn't need punishing, but each time I tried to appeal, she just got more and more excited about the whole prospect. When we went through the silvery metal doors to the outside, I could no longer think of anything to say, and instead locked my gaze with Kerry, hoping he would have an idea.
Upon getting hit in the face by a bright blast of sun, I could see color returning to Kerry's face.
"Woah. Woah, where the &$%^ am I?" he asked, spinning his head around wildly.
"Dude, you alright?" I asked.
"Y-yeah, I think-" he stuttered a bit, "I was... I was just, doing my business outside, and then... it's like this great white fog came over me and... suddenly I'm here and- wait, where are we going? Who-"
He looked at Beth.
"Who the %&^# are you?!" he barked.
"Wow. Ruuuude." she spat back.
Behind the school there is a field and goal posts for sports events. Soccer, football, track and field, and a jogging track. A large rectangular field of grass with fading white paint. To separate it from the surrounding roads and parking lot, they had planted a series of bushes and trees all along the outside perimeter, sat in a large bed of wood chips. Plus a wire fence, just in case.
Beth pulled us over across the whole field to this perimeter, and when we finally stopped walking, we were stood atop the wood chips that kept the dirt that the bushes needed to live from being trod upon by kids who liked taking shortcuts. Specifically, we were stood on a small empty patch, where some of the bushes had been cleared after a crazy driver accidentally plowed through the fence and crashed into the large cedar tree several feet away.
This was it. We were stopping, and we were a considerable distance from the school. What the $%^& was she going to do to us?
"Uh, ma'am?" I asked meekly, "Whu- what are you going to do with us?"
"Yeah, what the %$ ing #$%^, lady? Let us go!" Kerry added. I wanted to stamp his foot, but she was holding him her full arms-length away from me.
"Your punishment..." she announced.
... and then let go of our wrists.
"Is to stand here until I come back." she said, her eyes meeting ours with the fiercest of gazes.
Nobody moved. A long silence followed as we processed the instructions. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the nearby cedar. I felt the sun shining through the cracks in the clouds above.
"Um... sorry, what?" I asked.
"You will both stand here, and not move from this spot until I come back." she repeated sternly.
Kerry and I looked at each other. Was she for real?
"You... just want us to stand here?" Kerry asked.
"Yes. That's it. Nice and simple for you two."
"Like, super-still?" I asked, "We can't move our bodies or anything?"
"No, no, you can move your arms and everything." she laughed, "You just can't... walk around."
... really?
"We... are we not allowed to talk to each other?" Kerry added.
"Oh, you can talk all you want." she smiled, "You are just not allowed to step away from where you are standing. That's all."
We exchanged glances again.
"We just stand here and not walk away until you come back." I confirmed.
"Correct." she said, "That's not so hard to do, is it?"
Kerry chuckled. It was contagious. I chuckled too.
"Yeah, sure, ma'am." I said after I was able to breathe again, "I think we can do that."
"Yeah, of course!" Kerry added, "Not a problem!"
"Good! See you two later." she said with a gleeful smile, and then she hurried off in a brisk jog to return to her duties.
I let out a sigh of relief and breathed easy. That was really all. She had just put us in a timeout. The most babiest of punishments. Was she really belittling us like that? What was I going to learn from this? If anything, this would just give me time to think about how to better steal her stash.
Of course, I started thinking; how long would we have to stand here? But my brain, still drunk on the prospect of intelligent thought, deduced that if she did not come back, all we had to do was wait until the girls had left in their pickup... which we could see from where we were standing... and we could make a break for it. Otherwise... what, maybe an hour or two of standing around doing nothing? I do that in the hallway all the time.
Naturally the biggest hurdle here was my stomach. It made a low grumble. I had not been able to pilfer anything from any of the kids today, so I was lasting on breakfast alone.
Well, so be it. This week was gonna suck anyways. I was prepared for that. Sorta.
Kerry, on the other hand, didn't seem to keen on standing around. He fidgeted and wrung his fingers together.
"Man, this blows." he said, "Why do we have to listen to that $^%, anyways? I sure as $%^# ain't afraid of her."
"Look, dude, we'd better listen to her." I explained, "There's something really weird about the four of them. I don't wanna cheese them off, y'know?"
"And who the $%^# are you, anyways?" he asked.
I did not like his tone. Did he not sleep at all this month?
"Look, they did something." I said, "To you, and to the principal. It was like... mind control. The principal was like a totally different person."
Kerry stared at me.
"Wait, to me?" he asked, "What'd they do to me?!"
I tried to recall. It wasn't at all a pleasant experience.
"You were like a zombie, Ker!" I explained, "You were all pale, an' you freaked out, an' you threw up all over the principal's desk!"
He stared at me as though my hair turned purple. He looked at the school building, then to me, then back at the building.
"You serious?" he asked.
I nodded, my lower lip over my upper.
____________
**** MAN, WHY YOU ******ING GOTTA BE SO ***** AND *****? YOU AIN'T ***** ****** FOLLOWING MY ****** STORY YOU ******* * ******* ******** CAKE ******* ******** WORM AND A ****** ****** DON'T EVER ******** SQUIRREL ***** ******** ****** ****** OSTRICH-NECKED ** **** *** *** BURN YOUR ***** **** TO ****! I **** ******* ****** TREE *** ***** *** ***** PICKED MY APPLES AND **** ** ******** ***** YES ***** EACH TIME I *** ***** ***** GREEEAAAAAAT! *****!
____________
Ah, the joys of stranger-based role-play.
Kerry had thrown his head back and bellowed a whole bunch of things up to the sky. I was watching the side of the school where the ladies continued their charity work, but they were so distant that I couldn't tell what they were doing, or if they were even responding to Kerry's outburst.
Fortunately, it wasn't long before he found himself out of breath.
"Man, you know what?" he said, "Screw this, I'm outta here."
"No, dude, you shouldn't do that!" I said, "They can see you. You're just gonna get in more trouble!"
"Yeah?" he barked, "Well they'll just have to catch me first. Screw them all, I'm just gonna go home and stay there the rest of the week. I'll tell my parents I want to set up my old lemonade stand and I'll donate the proceeds to charity just like they're doing."
I looked at Kerry. He sensed my gaze and turned toward me.
"Are you actually going to do that?" I asked.
He glanced toward the school and lowered his voice.
"Pph. No." he whispered, holding a hand beside his mouth to shield it from view from the school, "I'm gonna sell my product under the counter. Lots of kids on my block take charity week off."
Sounds like this guy had it all figured out. I found myself starting to get a bit jealous of him.
"You can't wait, like, half an hour for them to forget about us?" I asked. The guy may have street-smarts, but I've got adult-smarts.
But he turned his head away, leaving nothing but his orange hair glittering in the shards of sunlight.
"Nope. Sorry, Darren, but I don't got time for this noise. I'm outta here." he said.
And so he turned and... stood there. He stood there for several seconds. He looked down at the ground, perplexed. He continued to stand there.
"I... thought you were going?" I asked.
"I... can't." he said.
I smiled and exhaled loudly.
"Good." I said, "I'm glad you came to your senses. See, when I get in trouble, I find it important to-"
"No, $^%@ you, Darren!" he said, "I actually can't!"
"Wait, whuh?"
"I can't lift my #$%^ing feet!" he said, "They're stuck! They're $%^#ing STUCK!"
His knees were wobbling back and forth, but his feet remained planted on the ground.
I looked cautiously toward the school. Three of the girls were there, but they were chatting away at the counter. Not a single one of them was looking toward me. ... but of course, I remembered how one of them caught my hand. ... no, maybe they just heard it. No way they can see behind them or hear this far.
I walked over to Kerry to see what was wrong with his-
No! I couldn't either! I tried to lift my foot, but it wouldn't go up! It was like my shoelaces suddenly weighed a tonne! I tried jumping, but that didn't work either! I was actually stuck to the ground.
"I'm stuck too!" I shouted.
"WHAT THE *$^&ING #$*^?!" Kerry screamed.
"Ya think they prepared this?!" I asked, "Like, made puddles of glue here so that we couldn't move even if we tried?"
Kerry looked down at his feet. He couldn't even twist them.
"AAH, they'd BETTER not have ruined my $700 shoes!" he shouted, flailing around.
They were nice shoes, I had to admit, but $700 for shoes?! Dang, maybe I chose the wrong line of work. I'd be lucky to get $20 in a month. The loser kids here weren't exactly rich.
Kerry shook and shook and shook, rocking on his knees, his orange hair fluttering around.
"Kerry!" I shouted, trying to get him to calm down.
He muttered loud curses, shaking his fists, trying desperately to yank at least one of his legs out of his shoes.
"KERRY!"
"$&! WHAAT?!" he bellowed.
Suddenly I lost all train of thought. How was I going to get him to calm down? I had to say something. Anything!
... oh. I had something now.
"You've got a twig in your hair there." I said, pointing to his scalp.
He ran his hand through his air until his fingers grazed the small brown stick caught in the strands.
"$%^@, man, don't screw with me." he said, bowing his head and trying to untangle it from his hair.
I looked back toward the ladies and squinted my eyes. Were they looking over our way and laughing at us? ... man, it was hard to tell. Wait, no, they're still chatting to one another. Or they're talking to somebody else behind the wall of the building. I couldn't see the front of the school from where we were standing.
I looked back at Kerry, who was still bent down, trying to undo the knotted mess his hair had become.
The twig was still there.
And it had leaves now. Large, dark leaves.
"Woah, what the #^?" I asked.
Kerry peered up at me. His mood had not improved in the slightest.
"You gonna laugh at me?" he asked, "Yer head's not so #$%^ing tree-free yourself."
My eyes bulged. My hands shot up into my blonde hair. Within my silky smooth locks, I felt it. A thick rough bough of wood. And leaves.
I breathed. I wasn't going to freak out at the sheer coincidence. It was just a branch that was blown over by the cedar. I was going to get it out. I just had to find the larger end and slide it out. Yeah, my awakened brain was really helping me out here!
I felt my way down the branch. I felt it separate off into smaller leaves, and instead worked my way back. I felt it going back, back down toward the back of my head. I felt it getting thicker. I felt...
I felt the back of my head. No, there should be a branch end there! It shouldn't be-
"AAAAUUUUGH!"
That was Kerry. I looked back up at him. He had seized the branch in his own hair and gave it a yank, but it made his own head jerk forward and he nearly fell down. His hair fell down the front of his head, and for a moment, just a moment, I saw it.
The branch was coming out the back of his head.
"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
That was me. I released my own branch and... well, I would've staggered back had I been able to lift my feet. Or bend my knees. But all I could do was lean back a bit. It felt like I was leaning against an invisible, upright recliner.
Kerry had released his branch from his head, but rather than fall away, it stood straight up, stretching almost two feet above his head, brandishing large, round leaves in all directions. It wasn't even a branch anymore. It was a sapling.
"Yo- YOU TOO?!" Kerry bellowed, staring at me... no, staring just above me.
"I CAN'T BEND MY KNEES!" I shouted.
Kerry didn't need second telling. For a moment he stood there stock still, the leaves in his branches fluttering to a stop, and his eyes widened even more. With slow, hesitant movement, he bent down at the waist, grasped the legs of his long dress pants, and yanked them up as high as he could.
We both screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!"
Where we both expected to see bright, pale skin and otherwise bony legs, we saw wood. Brownish-grey wood, covered in small ripples and wrinkles.
My belly groaned again, but this time it didn't stop. I felt my shirt getting tighter and tighter, and I pressed down with both hands. But something was very wrong. It felt too smooth. Too weird. Too much... rustling.
I pulled my shirt up. Oh, how I so wish I hadn't.
Like a blossoming flower, a great splash of leafy branches spilled out from under my shirt, spreading all around me like a grass skirt. With both hands, I tried to bat them down and yank them away, but doing so caused great pain. Like I was trying to pull out my own ribs. Fear and pain battled viciously in my mind. Everything about this was wrong!
It was spreading fast! I saw vines creeping up Kerry's neck. His dress-shirt was also expanding, and thin, wiry branches were poking out from between his buttons.
"WHAT DID YOU #$%^ING DO TO US?!" Kerry screamed his loudest toward the girls, shaking his green-covered fists, "WHAT THE$%#ING #$^@ DID YOU #$^%ING DOOOOO?!"
I couldn't help myself. Screaming was all I could do anymore.
"STOP THIS, YOU $&*^#ES!" I bellowed, feeling something crawling up my spine, "CHANGE US BACK!"
"CHANGE US BACK!" Kerry added to the chant! "CHANGE US BA-AAAUUCK!"
"YEAH!" I shouted, "CHA-UUOOOMMMPH!"
A thick vine suddenly rocketed in front of my face and clamped itself against my mouth, gagging me. I couldn't speak! I couldn't breathe! I swung my arms around, but I felt them growing thicker and stiffer by the second. They were being pushed upwards!
Kerry shook every part of his body that still moved. His dress shirt tore open and an explosion of branches rocketed up his body and enshrouded his head. They rustled violently, engulfing his entire upper body in a mess of entangled wood and leaves.
"MMMM! MMMMMM!" I hummed as loud as possible before strands of my own stretched up all around me, and the words sank into darkness.
And it all faded away. I couldn't hear Kerry anymore. I couldn't hear myself anymore. I couldn't hear anything anymore! I couldn't hear!
I couldn't breathe! I couldn't see!
I couldn't... I can't... I...
I...
...
...
...
... cold...
... so cold...
... am I... am I alive?
There's nothing. It's all blackness. Darkness. Not a sound. Not a sight. Not a tinge of light. No smells. No taste.
All I could do was feel.
I felt heavy. Stiff. I tried to inhale on purpose, but it was just superficial thought. I felt I no longer had a mouth to breathe with, nor lungs to take in the air. I couldn't move. I didn't have anything to move. No nerves. Nothing.
But... I felt... I still felt myself move. Just a little. Very slowly. I felt the top of me move a little more. It was colder up there...
No. It was warmer up there. Much warmer. That was nice.
It felt awkward, though. Very awkward. Like I was starting to tip over in all different directions. Like I was going to stumble and fall down in every single area around me. I had to be strong. Solid. I did not want to fall-
Oh? What was that?
Suddenly, a small part of me felt much lighter.
Oh, it happened again! Oh, and again! That... felt much better! So much lighter! Yes! Please, do that! Whatever was doing that, please keep doing that! Help make me lighter!
Please... help me... make me... lighter...
...
...
____________
YEAH *****ING NICE FINALLY IM A *****ING TREE NOW ***** YES PICK MY *****ING FRUIT NOW YEAH ***** PICK IT ***** OH MAN I FEEL ****** SO ***** ****** GOOD YES ******* PICK PICK PICK PICK ******** OH MAN IM GONNA ******** ***** LOVE *** ****** BBQ **** ***** MUSTARD **** ***** **** PONCHO ***** ****** MORE CUPCAKES ******* ******* ***** SOUTH AMERICAN **** ***** ******* ****** NICE **** **** ****** **** **** COCKROACHES!
BEST DAY EVER!
____________
Dorothy was ten years old, with gorgeous brown hair and a twinkle in her energetic hazel eyes. She wore jeans a little too tight and a t-shirt a little too loose. She didn't mind that they came from a thrift store. To her, getting clothes of any kind was like a gift from the heavens above.
At such a young age, it was only natural that her body was not nearly the height of her parental counterpart, who stood at an impressive six foot two. Her mother, tall and a little on the plump side, exercised the caution that years of experience had taught her, and escorted her young daughter across the road safely. With her height benefit, the large black pickup truck was able to see the duo just in time to stop at the interaction and wave them on by.
"Hi, girls!" she greeted them from the sidewalk, letting go of Dorothy's hand and crouching to peer into the open passenger-side window. She knew Dorothy was educated enough to not only avoid stepping onto the road, but to also stay close-by.
Janice parted her long black hair from her face and returned the smile.
"Hey, Jaz." she greeted, "On your way home?"
"Yup." she replied, smiling wide with bright teeth, "Dorothy's excited for the weekend. She's having a sleep-over!"
"Wow, isn't she a lucky girl?" Janice laughed, "You'd better make sure they actually go to sleep this time."
"Ha ha, yeah." Jasmine laughed. She eyed the rough wooden cart hitched up to the pickup's rear.
"Mommy!" a little voice called from a ways away. Jasmine didn't hear.
"How much did you break your record this year?" she asked expectantly. It was no longer a question of whether they actually did it or not.
"A whole whopping 15%!" Janice said, beaming. Behind her, Beth high-fived Samantha in the back seat.
"Mommy!"
"That's fantastic!" she said, "I must know; how do you do it?"
Janice smiled and shrugged.
"Hard work, good effort, lots of passion, and positive energy." she mused, "Oh, and fantastic support from the community. They really came together this year!"
"Oh, that's so wonderful!"
"Mommy!"
She finally turned, deeming that her daughter was close enough to warrant her attention without shouting like an ill-mannered rogue.
"Yes, dear?"
"Can I have an apple?" Dorothy asked, pointing excitedly down the sidewalk.
"A wha-?"
She looked and saw, to her surprise, a whole new addition to the school's field perimeter. Beside the old cedar stood a couple of tall, hardy trees with glistening dark leaves and a great array of shining red apples. They bloomed with a great amount of color to compliment the greyish building behind them.
"Oh my goodness!" she nearly shouted, "Where did those come from?"
"They were a donation!" Janice smiled, stealing a quick glance at Beth, who could not contain her smile, "A nice surprise to the school and the community."
Jasmine eyed her daughter. How could she say no to such a sweetheart?
"They're good to eat?" she asked, "And they're publicly available?"
"Perfectly! Go right ahead!" the black-haired ladies urged.
"Wow! Thank you all so very much!" Jasmine said, waving them a farewell and allowing them to clear the intersection before a line of cars formed behind them.
Her daughter skipped around her feet as she approached the still, lumbering trees. They were only about twice as tall as she was, but they still bore enough fruit to fill baskets. How on earth did they get them transplanted there so cleanly?
"Mommy, can you reach?" Dorothy asked.
She picked out a large, juicy-looking fruit and pulled. It wouldn't come loose. So she yanked it, and the branch snapped off with it.
"Whoops." she said apologetically, "I didn't mean to do that."
"That's OK, mommy!" Dorothy said, "It will grow back!"
She nodded as she handed the prize to her daughter, who started rubbing it against her T-shirt.
"Yes, I suppose it will." she agreed.
The little girl was about to take a bite, but she glanced up toward the two trees.
"Mommy, the tree is moving!" she said.
Jasmine looked. The leaves rippled energetically.
"It's just the wind, sweetie." she smiled.
"But there is no wind, mommy!" Dorothy complained, looking around at the sky for a cloud to survey.
She knelt down and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Trees are very good at finding wind, Dorothy." she wisely said, "They can feel it much better than we can."
Dorothy would've complained or exercised her ego, but then remembered she had an apple that simply needed eating, so she completely forgot about the subject and dug in.
It was delicious.