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Of Taurs and Energy Drinks by Zmeydros (edited by Tiliquain and Journeymanic)

The cherry-colored wood on our bedside table had faded nearest the window. Signs of wear had been haphazardly hidden, like the rip in the mottled brown carpet we'd found underneath the taupe recliner in the corner. Everything about this "Wild West" tour was a joke. As I put on the last shirt I packed, a tight purple long-sleeve T-shirt, I thanked the Lord that we were flying out tomorrow morning.

"You know that's a women's top, right?" my wife said with a raised eyebrow. Her dark brown hair contrasted her alabaster skin making her eyebrows very expressive.

"It's not my fault women's tops show off my pecs so well. Plus, this fabric is just so soft." I ran my hand over my right sleeve. "How can you even tell it's a women's top?"

"It's more form-fitting, the arms look a bit tight on you, and the neck hole is a lot wider." She slipped her light-yellow T-shirt over her modest-but-pert breasts.

"Well, I've got no ass, so I doubt anyone will wonder about my gender." I chuckled.

"You've got a nice curve to your ass, don't sell yourself short." She put on a tan cardigan.

"I don't know where you're getting that from, unless you're viewing my ass under a microscope." I put on my skinny jeans.

After rolling her eyes at me and scoffing, she said, "You're the most impossible person to compliment."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I quipped.

Putting on a pair of grey yoga pants, she said, "You would."

I walked over to the battered coat closet and grabbed a can of Nucleic Acid: Cheetah Charge.

"Hey, we've had six already this week," she warned.

"Oh, come on! Do you think either of us will survive this day without some caffeine?" I popped the top.

"I dunno, the directions say no more than six cans a week. I don't think they'd put that on there if it didn't matter." She sat on the bed.

I took a sip and then reached into the closet and got her a can of Nucleic Acid: Zebra Zip. "Warnings on energy drinks and stuff are for old fogies. It's not like either of us has a heart condition."

She took the can and popped it open. "Ugh, fine, I don't want to sleep through the minigolf. It might be the only thing on this whole trip that we actually enjoy."

I could already feel the caffeine, and whatever random junk they'd thrown in with it, hitting my system. My eyes were no longer half-lidded. "Knowing this trip, it'll be an open field with a plastic cup in it and we'll all take turns throwing golf balls to see who gets a hole in one."

After a big swig, she said, "No, it'll be a paper cup that someone stepped on."

I laughed as I headed to the bathroom. "Let's get out of here so we can figure out which one of us is right."

After washing my face, I grimaced at the dark circles under my eyes. My blond hair looked even lighter when compared to them. Combined with looking haggard from all the early mornings, the extra weight I'd gained from a year of being a baker's apprentice made me pretty homely. After our vacation, I was gonna have to work some on my appearance. I knew Kayla would stick with me through anything, but I wanted to feel like I deserved her.

We were out the door after Kayla used the restroom. The continental breakfast went by with us talking as little to the rest of the tour group as possible. All of them had at least a decade on us and looked like they'd spent most of their lives in casinos. Sure, some of them were nice, but we'd had an entire week to discover that we had nothing in common with them.

The bus had speckled light grey seats that hid grime well. It was pretty clean, but if one started giving it scrutiny, one could find gum and coffee stains. The sparse South Dakota landscape was incredibly dry near the Badlands, which we kept driving through without actually getting to walk around in them. We'd assumed the tour would go there, but it turns out our tour was made for minimal walking and effort. At least we'd gotten to see the beautiful bands of brown, red, orange, and even a bit of purple in the landscape at a couple lookouts we'd stopped at. I stared forlornly at a trailhead as we passed it.

I shifted in my seat. It seemed impossible for Kayla and me to sit still this morning. The long-haired husband and wife folk singer duo across the aisle kept giving us incredulous looks due to our incessant fidgeting. On top of my restlessness, I felt jittery: not "I had too much caffeine" jittery, more like, "I took meth for the first time" jittery.

As we were turning off the highway to follow signs for "Wilde West Mini Golf," Kayla leaned in and spoke softly. "My breasts are really tender."

"Oh?" I said. "Is it painful?"

She massaged her chest as discreetly as she could. "Not exactly? You know...it's almost the same as when I was in puberty."

"Like the same tenderness you had when they were growing?" I asked.

"Sometimes you're such a guy," she said.

"Umm, because I *am* a guy?" I tilted my head.

She scoffed. "No, I mean, you're acting more guyish than usual. The moment I mentioned they're tingling, you got your hopes up about them getting bigger."

"Hey! I should at least get credit for listening to you rant about puberty," I protested.

"Huh..." She squeezed her tits. "My bra feels tighter."

I rolled my eyes. "Now you're just messing with me."

"No, I'm not." She grabbed my hands and put them on her chest. "See?"

Touching her mammaries in the middle of a crowded bus got me blushing. "I'm not sure, they might be bigger?" I took my hands away.

"Looks like I'm not the only one going through puberty." She gestured toward my crotch with her eyes.

Seeing a tent in my jeans, I covered it with my backpack.

Kayla laughed at me.

That only made me more embarrassed. "You should be flattered," I complained.

"Oh, I am." She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I turned my head to meet her lips to make it a proper kiss. She grabbed my head and pressed her mouth against mine hungrily. My hands went to her tits and she moaned softly into the kiss as we made out so fiercely neither of us was in control of our actions. Her breasts were feeling more full in my hands and couldn't help but thrust lightly against my backpack as our tongues wrestled.

Someone clearing their throat next to us got me to look up. My eyes widened as I saw a familiar long dour face with a cloud of fine frizzy grey hair above it. It was our tour guide, Larry, and he was not pleased. Thankfully, all he said was, "Would you like to join the rest of us outside?"

It had been said far too firmly to be a question, but I said, "Yes," anyway.

"Splendid!" Larry's response was so soaked in sarcasm that Kayla and I cringed.

My erection wouldn't go down, so I held my backpack in front of my groin as we got out of the bus. Every one of the twenty other people in our tour group was looking at us and about half of them were whispering to each other. We withered under all that attention, hunching and keeping our arms in front of us to defend ourselves from the weight of their stares. Luckily, the acute awkwardness got my erection to stop throbbing as hard.

Larry cleared his throat to get everyone to turn around and face him. He could clear his throat more loudly than anyone I'd ever met, an expert throat noise attention getter. "As I was saying: have your prepaid tickets for the course ready. The half of you with an odd reservation number will start on the front nine while the other half will start on the back nine. Any questions?"

The guy in the red sweatshirt who was part of a tall skinny couple from Scandinavia raised his hand. "Won't we lose our ball on the final hole?"

"Yes you will, but if you go up to the window, the attendant will provide you with a second ball." Larry impatiently looked across the rest of the group, "Any more questions?" He waited two seconds and then said, "Okay, you know the drill. Line up at the window in order of your reservation number."

We had decided to sign up for this tour group on a whim, so we were dead last in line and we had an even number, so we had to go to the back nine first. People in the group kept pretending to look at the scenery while stealing glances at us as if we were going to suddenly start making out again. It was a good thing we were too fascinated by the mini golf course to cause another scene. It was an odd blend of Victorian era English elegance and the Wild West. Every hole had a theme, an English manor house, a giant filigreed cowboy boot, a peacock motif, the Oregon trail, a Wild West town, a cattle ranch, and finally, a scale replica of Buckingham palace. All of it was covered in paisley patterns and intricate woodwork that made it look more like it belonged in a museum than at a mini golf course.

"The only thing I don't understand is why they put an E at the end of Wilde," I thought aloud.

"It's right here on the brochure, the owners are huge fans of Oscar Wilde." My wife pointed to a paragraph on the inside of the brochure.

"Oh! The poet guy who died young?" I asked.

"Yep, very quotable guy," my wife said.

"Oh? What's your favorite quote of his?" The conversation was making our wait in line less tedious.

"I can resist everything except temptation," she replied.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" I smirked trying to ignore a prickly sensation all across my lower body. Maybe I was getting allergic to the new forest spring scent detergent we'd started using? It was a bit much, honestly.

She stole a grope of my ass. "Let's just say I'm looking forward to when we're back in our hotel room."

"Me too!" I groped her ass back until a woman with a near-spherical perm glanced back at us. "Do you feel odd? Like you have more energy than you should?"

"Yeah, it's like that energy drink worked better the seventh time." She drew my attention to her breasts with her eyes. "And the tingling hasn't gone away. Do they look bigger?"

"Your blouse looks tighter than it was this morning." I looked down at my pants. "Were my jeans this tight before we left?"

"I don't think so..." She leaned in and whispered in my ear. "You look really feminine right now. Those jeans fit you like a glove."

Blushing deeply, I leaned in and whispered to her, "I don't know why, but that makes me really happy."

"Oh? Have you been feeling more drawn to women's clothes lately?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, actually. Mens clothes were boring me and I've been experimenting when you're not home," I admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was embarrassed."

"Well, don't be, you look fantastic!" She gave me a kiss. "Wear as girly of clothes as you want."

I looked good in women's clothes? I was filling out my jeans?! We'd missed something very bizarre. "Kayla?"

"Josh?" she raised an eyebrow.

I grabbed her hand and put it on my ass. "I have never had hips, or an ass. What the hell is going on?"

She gaped as she groped my round, feminine ass. "Wh-what the hell?"

"Maybe it's the energy drink?" I blurted out.

Kayla laughed so hard she roared. I started laughing with her, it was such a silly idea. I had no idea what I'd been thinking. The few couples still ahead of us in line watched us with concern wrinkling their faces.

When we recovered, Kayla said, "You know, maybe we're just high? Like, maybe one of the ingredients starts being hallucinogenic if you get too much of it in your system or something."

"We'd have to be tripping balls to think our bodies were changing, right?" I said.

"You got a better explanation?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

"Then, let's just enjoy the ride and hope we don't do anything we regret."

With a grimace, I said, "Like laughing like maniacs in front of the whole group?"

She nodded while trying not to giggle.

Her holding back a giggle made me giggle, like an actual tittering feminine giggle! We really were high...

My prick was still half hard by the time we got up to the window. I was glad Kayla was paying attention, because I was distracted by tingling across my chest. She handed me a blue ball and picked up a purple one for herself. Then we grabbed putters of the proper size and walked to the tenth hole. To get there, we had to go through a replica of one of the arches from Arches National Park and past the intricate train set that decorated the ninth hole.

The tenth hole was the one that was themed after the Oregon trail. You hit the ball through a covered wagon and the hole was in the center of a circle of wagons you had to putt through. As we waited for our turn, Kayla kept pressing her legs together and biting her lip.

Eventually, I said, "I'm sure there's a bathroom. You still have time before we start."

"It's not that." She wrote with her little pencil on her score card. "My p***y is going ballistic. I wish we could go back to our room right now."

"Well, my pants are even tighter now," I said aloud.

She stifled a moan as she rubbed her legs together. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen her do. For her to be that needy...I got painfully hard and had to turn away from the rest of the group to avoid them spying my bulge.

Or Kayla's bulge? I swore the crotch of her pants was straining against something. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought she stuffed a sock in her panties. I stepped in front of her saying, "Okay, we may be too high to play mini golf. I'm hallucinating that you have a package."

Furrowing her brow, she said, "Like FedEx?"

I pointed at her crotch as discreetly as I could, "No, the other kind."

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" She yelled loud enough for everyone to hear and, when they all looked our direction, she grabbed me and pulled me against her front.

"Uhh, Kayla, I can actually feel it. I don't think it's a hallucination," I said quietly as the warmth from her pulsing, impossible, equipment radiated through my jeans. I was hard as ever and the whole space between my legs was burning. My pants felt too tight!

She clutched me against her whispering, "Maybe it's a dream? Or...I don't know, but I'm running out of room and I have no clue what to do about it."

With every hastened breath she took, that swelling in her crotch grew. As I struggled to find a solution to our predicament, the tour group went back to playing mini golf. It probably looked like we were just sharing an innocent hug. The hug got far less innocent as I felt something press up past her waistband and under my shirt.

She ground what could only have been a prick against my bare belly as she huffed and shuddered.

"This can't be happening," I said.

"Were both LSD and ecstasy in the ingredients?" she asked between pants.

"I highly doubt it." I spoke very softly. "I'm hallucinating that you're growing a cock."

"What? I'm hallucinating the same thing." She thrust hard against me. "And it feels incredible."

There was weight on my chest now. "Does it feel like I'm growing breasts?"

With a nod, she said, "And your pants feel even tighter than before."

Her dick was now passing my belly button and showing no sign of slowing down. The seam on the back of my jeans tore, relieving some of the pressure. I tried to mention it to her, but my words were stolen by my tailbone aching so much I hissed in pain instead.

"This can't be a cock." She thrust it against me, now it was getting thick enough that it was pressing hard against both our bellies.

"It's gigantic!" I marveled as it slid even further up my front. A bead of pre on my cock soaked into my underpants as I shuddered. I was pressed up against the base of her prick and it felt amazing despite the suffocating tightness.

She hissed in pain similar to the way I had and my hand felt a rise in the back of her pants. I reached in, grabbed onto the base of her growing tail, and fished it out of her pants.

As the tour group members ahead of us gasped in surprise at the sudden sight of her tail, I said, "This is getting bizarre."

Touching her tail got a long moan from her and she licked up my neck. She then reached into my pants and freed my tail getting another gasp and energetic whispering from everyone that could see us.

She said, "There's no way this is actually happening."

"But how is it possible we're hallucinating the exact same things?" I said.

She tried to reply, but a growth spurt hit her cock and it pressed up between my breasts! Looking down at it, I saw the head of a horse cock and blinked before looking again. It was still there and quickly making its way up past my breasts.

The seams on her pants started tearing and I tried to talk to her to try and figure out what to do, but she started humping my front so powerfully I couldn't manage it. Feeling our breasts mash together, her thick shaft fucking my cleavage, and my jeans start ripping apart was overwhelming. The crotch seam of my jeans was pressing against a sensitive area behind my balls which gave me intense pleasure.

Kayla looked directly into my eyes as she grabbed my head and pulled it down toward the head of her prick. "I need your mouth!"

(( End of preview. The rest is up on my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/31716946

Every month, I write a story based on the votes of my patrons on Patreon. Of Taurs and Energy Drinks is the sixteenth one! It won't be available anywhere else until February. You'll also get access to all fifteen Patreon shorts and early access to all my stories.

Voting for the next Patreon Short opens tonight! Become a Patron so you're ready to cast your vote! www.patreon.com/zmeydros ))