Notes For Julius
I'll still post the occasional story here for now but I'm pretty much done with SF for everything else.
Subject Name: Julius Aurmorn
Age: 9
Grade: 5
Sex: M
Species: Rabbit
Julius was referred for counseling in response to his extremely quiet demeanor, lack of social skills, and high intelligence. Julius was advanced from 3rd grade to 4th grade during the previous school year. Julius lives with his mother and his father (stepfather?), along with two brothers and three sisters.
Julius immediately began to smooth and adjust his clothing when he sat down.
Had a very difficult time convincing Julius to engage with me. Silent for my first several questions. Answered quietly when I asked for just his name.
Expressed interest only in reading. Reads at a very high level, spells better than all other students (and most teachers).
Noticed Julius tucks his ears back behind his shoulders very frequently.
Struggles with eye contact. Possible anxiety.
Would only shrug on questions related to family.
Julius behaves as if he feel he is either being graded or disciplined.
My initial session with Julius yielded little in the way of actual answers but I feel I learned quite a bit about him just in what he didn't say. He rarely made direct eye contact and seemed to think he was in trouble. He may be influenced to keep to himself, especially about matters related to his home life. I hope to learn more with today's session.
Little response when given standard toys such as a squeeze ball or toy car. Slightly more engaged when given mini maze toy.
More ear tucking.
No response when asked about friends. Presumably the answer is no.
Still struggles with eye contact. Notably, he does not seem to fidget much otherwise, as is often the case with anxiety sufferers.
Asked about relationship with father, responded "he doesn't really talk to me." Something to explore.
Still not finding out much about hobbies other than books.
When asked about what he was reading, replied with Gods in the Window. Definitely not a school assignment.
Asked him what he likes about Gods/Window, replied with the 'juxtaposition of the Abel character's constant push toward future endeavors against the house's symbol of being chased by the past." He mispronounced 'juxtaposition' just a bit.
While I've continued to have trouble getting a response out of Julius regarding more personal matters, I did have some success asking about his books. Reading seems to mean quite a bit to him, perhaps due to the escapism. He remains distant and we've yet to establish a feeling of trust. I am not yet comfortable enough attributing his behavior to autism despite his high academic performance. So far, Julius seems less of a savant and just seems to be very, very smart. At the risk of stereotyping, I've come to expect high achievement from rabbit youths, likely attributed to cultural and environmental factors. Likewise, I've come to expect isolation and emotional distance. Today I intend to establish a greater sense of trust between us.
Julius agreed to a game of checkers, although with some apprehension.
Hyper-focused during game, very difficult to get response to my questions.
Julius appears almost nervous before every move he makes. Despite his apparent lack of interest to play, he seems determined to win.
Julius tucked his ears back again when we started. Leaned forward while focusing on the game, and his ears fell in front of his shoulders again. He was very quick to hide them once more. I also notice a 'feminine' nature about him as he does this. Could be a source of his alienation.
Asking questions was impossible while Julius was making his move. I learned to ask my questions during my moves instead, when he wasn't as laser focused on the game. I asked if his brothers and sisters go to this school. He said no. I asked why he doesn't go to the same school as them. He said 'I don't know' but I felt he was holding back more.
-When asked which subject in school is his favorite, Julius responded with 'I'm good at math." When I asked if he likes math, he said, "I'm good at it."
- Julius wins the game. Should be noted that I wasn't trying my hardest. He looked relieved. Asked him if he likes winning. Responded, "it's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Julius is slowly talking a little more but certainly couldn't be described as chatty. He exhibits a pressure to achieve despite a lack of enjoyment or passion. In addition to tucking back his ears, I notice he adjusts or smooths out his clothing very frequently. Whether or not this is a matter of grooming, I've yet to determine.
Gave Julius an egg maze to play with today. Made sure he knew it was just for fun and he wasn't being graded. He still seemed determine to succeed.
Asked Julius if there were any girls in school he liked. Very quickly answered 'no.' The question seemed to make him uncomfortable. Perhaps still too young.
Once again tucked his ears back. I asked him why he does it. He said he didn't notice he'd just done it.
Asked what Julius likes to do at recess. Unsurprisingly, he said he reads. He claims he sits against the side of the campus, where there is shade.
I asked there's anybody in school he wishes to become friends with or reach out to. He didn't answer at first but when pressed said he 'kind of liked' this boy in his class named Westin. Asked what he likes about Westin. Quietly responded "I just do."
When I steered the conversation back toward Julius' father, he seemed to look harder at the puzzle. Asked if he likes his father. He said "I don't know." Asked if his father likes him. Did not respond. Asked if he likes his mother. He said "I guess." Asked of mother likes him. A shrug.
Julius finished the puzzle, one of the faster completions I've seen in a youth. He placed it carefully on the table. His ears fell over his shoulders. He tucked them back again.
Asked Julius if his parents are happy about his grades. He says they don't mention them much. I asked if he wishes he received more attention from them. He didn't seem to know how to answer.
Told Julius to draw a picture of a typical scene in his house for next time. He insisted he doesn't know how to draw. I told him he can use stick figures but he seemed almost panicked at the prospect of the drawing itself. I reminded him that he will not be graded and that I am only interested in what he draws, and not the artwork itself. He seems very reluctant. It's my hope that he elects to finish what is framed as an assignment more than fret about his performance.
On today's session I hope to gain a clearer picture of Julius' home dynamic and his relationship with his parents as well as his siblings. Up to now Julius has proven to be a bit of a mystery, and I am not comfortable making any particular assumption about his condition or lack thereof. He avoids making statements too consequential. I suspect that there are richer answers to the questions he has refused to answer at all.
Julius presented his drawing to me, but made sure to mention that it 'wasn't good.' The drawing depicts the outline of a house and what he identified as himself, his parents, and his five siblings. The five siblings are generally mingling about the house, notably all grouped close together. The two parents appear in one corner of the house with angry expressions. The figure meant to be Julius is isolated in another corner near what appears to be a book. Julius has put virtually no detail into his mouth. Most notably, Julius is the only one in the drawing depicted as lop-eared.
Asked Julius what his parents were doing in the drawing. He said "talking."
When asked about his siblings, he said he didn't know what they were doing, but they were all doing it together.
Julius describes himself as not trying to make too much noise.
I asked what Julius' parents 'talk' about. He said things like finances, work, each other, and then trailed off. I asked if they ever talk about him. Julius didn't answer.
Asked if there's anything about the scene he would change if he could. At first he said it would be 'drawn better.' When I clarified my meaning, he stared at the picture for a moment before saying he couldn't picture it being any different.
Julius became silent on this matter soon after. I was forced to change the topic in order to convince him to speak again. He expresses the most apprehension to talking about his family. I told Julius his drawing was very nice. He very flatly responded "I don't think so."
Asked why he doesn't believe the compliments I give him, he said he thinks he knows what he's good at.
I told Julius he is one of the smartest students in the entire school (Very likely the smartest, actually). His reaction was slightly different, more like he didn't seem surprised but wasn't proud, either.
I decided to ask Julius' teacher and other faculty members about him, and what they've observed. Julius' teacher, Brighton Gibbins, described Julius as high achieving academically but struggles a lot with socializing. She describes Julius as doing as much as he can unilaterally during group projects. Brighton says she's taken to allowing Julius to work alone on what would otherwise be group projects if the number of students allows for it. She told me that Julius has been made fun of for his effeminate demeanor. She also said students have commented on his messenger bag, calling it a 'purse.' Brighton says that Julius usually knows the answer to a question but rarely raises his paw to answer.
The physical education instructor Gemma Hurst describes Julius as disinterested in her class, which isn't very surprising. Gemma told me that Julius does enough to avoid being scolded but is not putting in the same effort here as he does in his other academics. She described a particular situation during an indoor game of kickball, where Julius, after kicking the ball, made what sounds like a half-hearted attempt at running to the first base, before being tagged out. Several members of his team yelled at Julius for what they perceived to be repeated setbacks in any team sport involving Julius before directly requesting to Gemma Hurst that Julius be excluded from the rest of the game. Gemma said that she tried at first to calm down the other students before Julius himself told her it was okay with him to sit out of the game. Gemma told Julius to keep playing but he allowed the other students to take his turns.
Damien Slatt, who frequently carries lunch monitor duties, paints a predictable picture of Julius, sitting as isolated as he can, often reading instead of focusing on his food. Damien said that Julius does not always have lunch at all, though when he does it appears to be from home rather than provided by the school. He also observed Julius using the lunch period to do his school work.
I told Julius we would play the Mirror Game. I held the mirror in front of Julius and asked him what he saw there. Instead of answering, he immediately started adjusting his appearance, such as straightening the collar on his shirt and trying to smooth out wrinkles, or even just smoothing down his fur. And of course, he fixed his ears. I've seen him do this before but it was especially apparent here. Going to switch gears and forget about the game for a moment.
I asked Julius why he adjusts himself so aggressively. He didn't seem to understand why it would be strange. He stressed the importance of good grooming. I asked if his ears are part of the grooming. He said he doesn't want to look "silly."
Asked why he thinks they look silly, and after some pushing, he said 'some people think they look stupid.' I asked if other students told him that. He said no. He shook his head when I suggested his siblings. When I asked if his he got the idea from his father, he looked away from me.
I already know that this is a hard topic to engage with Julius. I gave him the second egg puzzle, explained to him that it's a bit harder than the first. Hoping he will let his guard down a bit while he's playing with it as he did before.
Asked Julius if it was okay to assume his father told him his ears looked stupid. Julius seemed uncomfortable answering before indicating that his father didn't say it directly to him. He said of his father, " he doesn't really talk to me."
I told Julius that I think he's handsome and his ears are cute. I can only describe his reaction as bewildered. I told him that lop ears have long been considered a popular feature. He said "I don't see why."
Julius completed the second puzzle. I congratulated him, although he predictably didn't seem very proud. I explained that maybe next time I'll give him the third, hardest puzzle. He seemed agreeable.
Before the session ended I asked Julius about lunch. He confirmed that he prefers to sit alone. I asked him if he would mind if I joined him some time during the week. He didn't seem very thrilled about the idea, tacitly referring to the other students seeing me there. I asked if he would be okay joining me in the counselor's office instead, just the two of us. He seemed reluctant but did agree. We will try for Wednesday.
For our lunch together, my goal is to ask Julius fewer questions about his personal life and school life and instead just ask about himself, and try to have an overall casual conversation. I admit that it does seem unlikely, and I can't expect Julius to want to completely open up to what he probably perceives as just another teacher. I just hope to get even a brief idea of his mentality in a more traditional conversation.
I met with Julius outside of the cafeteria to escort him to the office. I attempted to break the ice by asking how he was doing and similar questions. Julius mostly stuck with single word answers. He appeared to be a bit uncomfortable which is understandable. I told him not to think of this as a normal session and that we're free to talk about anything. I asked about books again and he said he finished Gods in the Window, moving on now to Letterwood City. I told him I read that one in college. He surprised me when he asked me if I liked it, though it did sound as if he did it out of social convention. The truth is that even though it's a classic, it wasn't my favorite, but I told him I thought it was an interesting read. I'm curious as to where Julius gets his reading recommendations, given that he doesn't appear to talk to family or even other students.
Once inside the office, I tried to keep things simple, asking Julius what he brought to eat. He was very descriptive, saying he brought spinach veggie wraps containing romaine, tomato, red onions, and other ingredients I can't quite recall. He also had some dental biscuits with him and a small container of juice. The wrap was very neatly made. I asked him who makes his lunch, and he revealed that he usually makes it himself. I asked if all of his siblings make their own, and he didn't answer that question directly, but revealed to me that he had made his own lunches a few times when his parents didn't have the time, until his mother told him that he is welcome to make his own lunches from then on. I wanted to follow up on this but wanted to make sure this continued to come of as a casual lunch for Julius. I did find it interesting that he packed his own biscuits, in my experiences, rabbit and rodent youth often have to be firmly reminded to chew. My understanding is that the dental snacks aren't always popular with kids. I told Julius I was impressed with how neat he'd made his lunch. Like before he responded as if it was expected of him, as opposed to the idea that he'd done anything exceptional.
Julius nibbled at his lunch throughout. I don't know if it was because he was uneasy to be eating with me or if he just eats lightly. Julius went quiet for a bit so I asked him what he likes to watch on TV. He told me that he doesn't watch much television, which is normal for the household as a whole. When I asked if that means he doesn't even watch cartoons, he told me that while he doesn't see them a lot, he liked them more when he was younger. I asked if he outgrew them and he surprisingly said no, and that it was just that he never sees them anymore and reads more, instead. I suspect that Julius reads for the escapism more than anything, so I suggested that for the best of both worlds, perhaps he could look into graphic novels. I explained to him that they're not all super heroes and jokes and some might have the storytelling he is after. He didn't seem closed to the idea but said he didn't have money to go find any. I suggested that he could try the school library although I admit I'm not sure they have what he would be looking for.
I told Julius that he could stay with me if he wanted to or go out to recess if he wanted to read instead. He seemed unsure of what to decide. I think he probably wanted to read but didn't want to seem rude. He said he was fine staying there. I told him he doesn't have to keep talking if he wants to read. He said "we can talk if you want." Again, I think he just wanted to be polite, but I decided to go ahead and take the opportunity to get to know him better. I brought the conversation back to books and told him that I like adventure books, especially ones that take place outdoors. I also told him I like romance books, but made sure to point out that they don't portray realistic relationships most of the time. I asked what kinds of books he likes. We went back a forth a little until he told me he looks at characters more than the theme itself. When I asked about that, he said that he likes character work in books "to help him understand why people do things." When I told him people in real life aren't entirely the same as the ones in books he said "I noticed."
As I walked Julius to the door for him to return to class, we had perhaps our most significant interaction, despite its brevity. Julius asked me if he was "being weird." I asked him why he thought so, and he told me that his parents told him to stop "acting weird." He said that he figured kids who are sent to me must be weird. I told him there was nothing weird about having a talk. I'm not sure he believed me. He then returned to his class.
I believe I may have gained just a little more of Julius' trust after our lunch together, though I wouldn't expect him to call me a friend. I believe the key to his behavior lies at home, with his family. At the risk of getting too eager, I want to try and ask more about his relationship with his parents and siblings in today's session.
Today when I asked Julius how he's doing he said "I'm okay." It's notably the first time he's actually answered the question.
I asked Julius about the day's routine from when he woke up to arriving at school. He described a strict regimen, including waking at around 5:00am in an effort to use the shower before anyone else is awake. If he has time afterwards, he goes downstairs for a quick breakfast before heading back into his room and waiting until it was time to go to his bus stop for school.
Julius still will not say much when asked how he feels about his father. When asked directly if his father feels positively toward him, he responded "I don't think so." When I asked about his mother he said "She says she's tired, a lot."
After some time talking, Julius indicated that he just wanted to do 'the right things' according to his family. He said his parents like the good grades his siblings get and want them to keep clean bedrooms and grooming. I asked him what they say when he does this things. He didn't seem to have much of an answer before indicating that he intends to continue 'doing it anyway.'
I told Julius that he's good enough just the way he is. He didn't seem to understand, so I repeated it. He seemed almost upset at the notion. After that point, I struggled to get meaningful responses out of Julius. He seemed almost disoriented.
We were contacted by Julius' mother with explicit instructions for me to stop seeing her son. It's unclear to me if Mrs. Aurmorn was unaware of our meetings or had a change of heart. Regardless, I've been immediately instructed to cease any further sessions with Julius.
My final assessment of Julius is somewhat inconclusive. Apart from possible depression, there doesn't appear to be any specific condition factoring into Julius' behavior. Julius appears to be a naturally shy child but based on what he's told me, his behavior heavily influenced on his interactions at home and perhaps here at school. I sense a deeply contentious home environment that Julius himself was unwilling to reveal to me. The unexpected lack of cooperation from his parents seems to indicate that perhaps he knows more than they want him to reveal. Unfortunately there isn't much I can do about this. Julius is an exceptionally bright and perceptive child. He is articulate and very well behaved. There are no signs of physical neglect nor any signs of learning disabilities or destructive behavior. With this in mind and my limited time interacting with him, there's nothing in particular I can recommend for him aside from more counseling, which appears to be impossible at the moment.
EDIT: Julius came to by office today during what was supposed to be his recess. I told him that I was unable to see him any further per his parents' request. Julius seemed to both know this and not entirely understand. After a moment he told me that he never got to try the third egg puzzle. I hadn't realized he'd taken to them so well. The puzzles themselves belong to me and not the school, so I made the decision to bring the puzzle to him. I told him he could keep it. He didn't seem to know what to say. I told him once again to remember that he's good enough just as he is. He looked toward the floor for a moment before scampering away down the hall, taking the puzzle in both paws. After he was a ways down the hallway he stopped at looked back at me. I told him he was welcome. He then turned the corner and left.
-P. Alden