Baker's Recipe: Getting Schooled by Tik Tik
#22 of Tik Tik in the Big City
Eshere and Baker have no idea where babies come from. Looks like it's up to Tik Tik to explain it all to them!
"The Adventures of Tik Tik," is a fantasy erotica series starring a kobold woman seeking to learn more about the sexual nature of different cultures and creatures of the fantasy world she lives in. In this series, I like to delve into interesting characters and mix storytelling, character analysis, and sexy scenes to make an interesting read for all involved, and its all made possible by the support of my generous patrons. If you'd like to see more Tik Tik, please consider funding me at any level. Different tiers grant you more content and more input on the creation process of these stories, but I'm always looking for feedback on my work, so please, also consider joining my discord server.
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Cover by Heckabun: https://twitter.com/heckabun
Tik Tik slammed her book against the table. "Listen!" she yapped. "Egg no make baby if no sperm. Need sexy time make egg that grow to kobold! Or, whatever make that egg! Boy and girl, see?" She held up one hand, making a ring with her finger. With the other, she stuck her finger in. "Like that."
"Sex makes babies!?" Baker gasped, clapping one hand over his mouth. "Does that mean, Lady Aldevan... she wanted a baby?"
Tik Tik sighed, slumping down. "No, no, not all time... Baker not know a lot about sex?"
"Well, I'm a construct, I'm programmed with an understanding of the world only as much as my makers want me to have. I'm not ignorant in the ways of sex. I am Anteronian, after all."
"Make construct for sex and baking?"
"Oh, well," he waved, "No-No, it's just I decided to get into baking and- hey wait!" He pointed at Tik Tik, taking on a wide stance and clenching his other fist. "If this isn't a kobold egg, then that means you DO lay them!"
"That's right!" I added, slipping in front of Tik Tik. "I've known you for so long, and I've never seen you lay an egg!
Tik Tik giggled at that. "Oh, easy reason for that. Kobold only make egg when lots sexy time. Body need think man putting seed in Tik Tik to lay egg."
"Wait... so our sex wasn't enough?" I asked. "That's..."
"Feel bad?" Tik Tik said. "Sorry hear that. We friends. Tik Tik no think Eshere want breed her."
"Tik Tik," Baker said, stepping up beside me. He placed a hand upon his chest and bowed. "I would very much love to see one of these kobold eggs I keep hearing about. If there's any way I can get my hands on one of them, I would be most grateful, and I will do whatever I can to help you in your quest."
"Well, Tik Tik can't just make, she need-"
Baker scooped her up, dropping the egg onto the carpeted floor beside him. He pulled Tik Tik up to an embrace, pressing his blank, slime-coated mouth to her snout.
Tik Tik squealed, wrapping her tail, arms, and legs around him. Her tongue rolled out, licking over the wooden mouth area to get a little taste of me herself.
The kobold growled, flicking the slime back into her mouth, her eyes going half-lidded. Tik Tik hid her desire to check out this construct well, but she was a trapmaker by trade, and her instincts to enjoy well-constructed mechanisms translated here in a way she had never considered before.
"Tik Tik might make egg," she growled. "If Baker show Tik Tik what make him Tik."
"I'd love that, darling," he whispered to her. "But what about my bakery?"
Tik Tik flicked her wrist, and a spectral hand grabbed the sign, flipping it from "open" to "closed."
"Today," Tik Tik began, "Baker work on different kind of bake."
Baker carried Tik Tik away from the prying eyes of the quiet street beyond, but that left me by myself with that egg. I leaned in, poking it with my finger. It wobbled a moment, but then stopped. There was no response. I leaned in and whispered, "Are you a living slime?"
No response.
How strange that slime would be encased in such a hard shell. It's not something I could digest, at least, not that I thought I could. I picked up the small thing, noticing only the slightest of cracks on its exterior from where it landed. I shrugged and opened my mouth wide, tossing the object in.
The egg sunk into my jelly, floating around for a bit. My protoplasm gurgled, which sent my core spinning. Nope, can't digest that.
I scrunched up, shivering and condensing my being around it until the pressure of the slime around it is enough to crack the egg open. The oozy substance floated out among my green plasm, spreading and dissolving into my being. And that is when I tasted it.
"Aaaah!" I couldn't help myself. I spun around on the floor, clapping my cheeks. "This is... this is wonderful! I've never tasted something so amazing. If only I knew before I could break open something and find delicious juices before! What other treasures exist out there in the culinary field? What other delights exist behind seemingly impenetrable structures!?"
I stopped my happy squealing, realizing that I must get to writing down all of my thoughts on the matter. Whatever eggs may be, I know one thing for sure. They are delicious! This whole time, I had been contenting myself to eat strictly for survival. I had never dreamed that there could be more out there--that flavors exist outside what is there to live. Is this truly the promise of Anteronia, I wonder?
He wouldn't mind, then, if I sampled another one of his creations. The counter is right there, after all, and my slime can easily slip in under the case and take a taste. I'll choose the small thing labeled "cupcake," and see just what that is like...
Is this made from eggs and powder? Coffee is one thing. I can understand the heating of beans flavor the water, but to transmute something from simple grounded up materials into a fluffy form that dissolves to the touch... is this what Tik Tik talks about when she speaks of magic?
I must learn more. To that end, I cannot just have one...