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12.

A pebble flew through the air and skidded over the water surface, causing ripples that quickly distorted and disappeared by the continuous turbulence caused by the small waterfall. I sat on one of the boulders that littered the small beach, feeling sad and numb. Part of me was relieved because I was back where I felt I belonged. But the loss I suffered left me scarred and depressed. Immediately after we had returned to the pack grounds a few hours back, I wandered off to my old den, even before the other wolves of the pack and Mowgli could come up and greet me, telling the others that I had to be alone with my thoughts. Of course they respected that. Saying hello's and re-establishing bonds would be for a later time. My thoughts went to Alexander. His warmth, his fatherly love. His companionship. And Tabaqui. The hyena deserved a fate better than what he got. I felt responsible for his death, because I felt that I had lead Shere-Khan straight to the den. Even that stream apparently wasn't enough to cover my scent-trail. Unless that tiger had literally followed me in my footsteps. I did not see or hear anything during my hike, but I was only human. My senses were no match compared to the stealth of an apex predator like a tiger. He could literally have been meters behind me, without me even noticing. A violent sob shook my body, and I threw another pebble into the lake. While immersed in thoughts, I hadn't heard the rushing of the branches and twigs of the bushes that isolated my den area from the pack's old grounds. A snow-white wolf had crawled through the hole in the scruff and was standing behind me, perhaps five of six meters away. "Oh you", she softly said. "Always isolating yourself when you're feeling bad. I figured you'd be here after the others said you had wandered off." A shock went through my body when I heard that familiar, motherly voice. I looked in her bright eyes, unable to say anything. She gestured me to come to her, and she sat over me. I held her paws and pressed my face into her soft, white fur. We sat there in the same manner as we did when she asked me to become her adoptive son. My pain and sorrow made place for the warm and blissful feeling of belonging and being looked after, a feeling I had missed so, so much. "I am so glad that you're alive and that you've returned", she whispered and reached down to tenderly lick my face. "Come, you shouldn't sleep all alone."

The pack had made their new den area in the part of the forest opposite of Council Rock, compared to the old grounds, close to the cave that was Baloo's den. Most wolves had dug out their own den, but at the request of Bacchus, the pack also dug out a large communal den which was semi-underground, under the roots of an old tree. It functioned as a nursery for the cubs, and a place for wolves just to lay, snooze, or socialize with each other if they felt like doing so. "We'll sleep in Bacchus' dent", Luri said, and she nudged me to go in. "Where are the others?", I asked while looking around the dark interior. "Mowgli is sleeping with Sura and Akru, and Lala, Maki and their cubs are out for a night time nature call and a bit of play. They'll probably join us later on, as their mates are keeping Mowgli company fo the night. "Mates?", I asked surprised. "Lala and Sura are mates now, and Akru has met a wolf named Maki. Lala and Maki had cubs last Fall." "So much has happened", I sighed. "And I've missed you so unbelievably much." The white she-wolf took my left hand in her muzzle and gently tugged it down towards the ground. I lay down on the den's soft floor. "I've missed looking after you. You haven't changed much. You look almost the same as you did just before you left." I stared up at the den's root-covered ceiling. "A curse of being human. Our life-spans exceed that of a wolf. Two years in my life aren't that much. I'll out-live you, Bagheera, Baloo, Sura, Akru, their cubs, their cub's cubs, and so on. A lot of sad goodbyes." "It's the nature of life we're all subject to. And you will get to know others who you'll get to care for and love, once we are gone", she softly said. Tears itched the corners of my eyes. Luri reached over and licked my cheeks. "You've been through a lot. Bagheera and Vermillion have told us everything." "I thought I'd never see you and the pack again. Sura was so cold to me when I got back. And then seeing the old den sealed with rocks. I thought you died."

"After Alexander and Bagheera didn't return from trying to find you, I was devastated. The pack needed a strong leader, and Sura volunteered as a candidate. Most of the pack agreed, and because Alexander was the pack's alpha, I, as his mate, had the final saying. Sura was to become leader of the pack, and I'd be there for counseling. He was very badly struck by loosing you especially, but despite his sorrow, he made a good alpha. We all decided to move the dens to the area opposite of Council Rock. I just couldn't be in our old den any more. Sura, Akru and me wanted, and needed closure. We didn't know for certain whether you, Alexander and Bagheera were alive, or dead. So we decided to seal up the den as a monument for you three. When I learned about your return and the cold reception by Sura, I got very angry with him and made him step down. He'll make a fine leader some day, but he shouldn't have banned you from our pack. He owes you a life debt. Twice." "My response to him wasn't good either", I sighed. "Sura is your brother, always remember that. He would never, ever hurt you. Even if when he's very angry with you." "I found out about Alexander when I saw his remains. They're up on a small mound somewhere in Shere-Khan's territory. He took great joy in showing me after I was captured." Luri nuzzled me and exhaled. "That must have been terrible, finding it out like that. Shere-Khan must have thought the truce he made with Mowgli and us was broken after he found out about you living here, so he found it just to take revenge." "So it all comes down to that day when I stumbled upon Bagheera in that cage and those two poachers. I should have walked away after dealing with those two and setting Bagheera free. I might have been dead, but at least this all would never have happened." The white she-wolf shook her head. "Now listen to me. You have saved Bagheera's life. You have saved Sura's life twice. You came back to the pack after hearing about Shere-Khan making a kill in the human town, out of concern for us. Despite Shere-Khan capturing you and hurting you badly, you persevered. Thanks to you, Vermillion and Bagheera are now back with the pack. You find Mowgli, and save his life by your willingness to sacrifice your own to hold Shere-Khan back long enough so that Mowgli can escape and find his way back here. The pack now is whole again thanks to you, and everyone is grateful for that. Don't question your importance and contribution to the pack." I rest my head against the white wolf's flank. Before long, I was asleep.

Tree trunks, branches, leafs... I floated up higher and higher. The vast forest spread out underneath me with in the far, hazy distance, the outlines of Balaghat. I looked around me. Nothing. My feet were floating freely in mid-air. Suddenly, I started to move. First at walking speed, but I started to fly faster and faster. A pathway that turned into a gravel road, visible through gaps in the forest canopy. Then a jerk to the left. I saw the river underneath me. I descended and flew through the gorge like a jet-fighter through a canyon, zigzagging and banking from left to right. I climbed out of the gorge. No more river, but a stream. I turned left and now floated at ground level through the forest. A dense group of trees and vegetation appeared in the distance and got closer and closer. The pathway. The slope downwards. My feet touched the ground. "Why am I here?!", I called out. Silence. A small hole appeared in the soil in front of me. It got bigger and bigger. "No! NO! Please!" I cried out. The putrefying stench of decay filled the air. The hole deepened. Ribs appeared. A claw. Two words started to echo around. Barely understandable at first, but with every completed sequence they got clearer and louder. "Your demise. Your demise. Your demise." I screamed and pushed myself off against the ground, into the air as hard as I could. I flew upwards. Clouds, sun, then clouds again. Trees. I crashed on the forest floor. Two empty eye sockets stared at me. Horrified, I pushed myself back. Alexander's bones lay in front of me. Something in a taller patch of grass to the side caught my attention. Another skull. A feline skull. A panther's skull... Crushed. "Your demise." A loud tiger's roar. Luri looked at me. Pain in her eyes. Her bleeding muzzle opened in a desperate attempt to breathe. The tiger's jaws around her neck clenched. A snap. Her bright eyes turned dull. Her body dropped to the ground. "Your demise." A foreboding stare.

With a powerful jerk, I awoke from my nightmare and got on my hands and knees, panting and sweating. "Shhh. It's alright. You had a bad dream", Luri softly shushed. "This was more than just a bad dream", I sighed while laying back down on the ground, covering my face with my hands. "It's as if that tiger is in my head, giving me the most horrifying nightmares." "What did you see?" "Tabaqui's grave. I buried him in front of Bagheera's den. The ground opened up and his remains appeared. Then I flew to the mound where Alexander's remains are. Bagheera's crushed skull lay next to Alexanders'. And... that wasn't all. I saw you. Shere-Khan's jaws were around your neck. And he killed you right in front of me." Luri soothingly licked my chest and stomach. "You loved Tabaqui, didn't you?" "Yes. Even if he was Shere-Khan's minion. He lost everything he had left when he saved me from that tiger. He was so caring and friendly. He deserved better." "Did he know about your feelings towards him?" "Yes." "That is all that matters now. Please keep that in your thoughts. And about Shere-Khan, You can trust me, that will never happen." "I really don't know. That tiger is pure evil." "Like I said, trust me", the white wolf said. She licked the sweat off of my face. "Now, go back to sleep."

I woke up finding beige fur around my face and feeling something around my chest and stomach. Two human arms. There was warm skin against my back as well. I looked around to find Mowgli sound asleep, spooning me from behind. Akru was laying against me from the front, my head snug in between his front paws and against his chest with Sura laying crosswise, us laying against his flank. My stirring had woken the two wolf brothers up. Akru yawned, and clamped his open muzzle over my mouth to wish me a good morning, followed by Sura. After the beige-black wolf let go, I looked around the den. Daylight shone through the gaps in between the huge tree roots, which partially made up the wall of the big den. I counted seven wolves. Vermillion, Bacchus, Luri, who was sleeping a bit further down the den together with Lala, and a green-white furred wolf. Four wolf-cubs were sleeping at various spots on the den floor. One close to where we were, two on the far side with Bacchus, and the last one close to Lala. Mowgli had also waken up and was rubbing my chest and stomach with his hands before pressing his cheek against mine. He shifted until he lay over me, and suddenly pressed his mouth onto mine. I was shocked at first, but quickly realized he just wanted to greet me and wish me a good morning the proper wolf way, like Akru and Sura did, so I gave in, and he took me in a warm and tender kiss. Lala, Vermillion, Bacchus and the green-white wolf were awake now and crawled over to us to say hello.

Lala sprawled next to me, followed by one of her cubs, who found his way to one of the nipples between the red wolf's rear legs, and eagerly started to nurse. I watched the cute scene for a little while. Of course, my interest in her nursing cub and not gone by unnoticed, and the red she-wolf invitingly raised her rear leg up a bit further, "Does the overgrown wolf-cub want to suckle as well?" Her relentless teasing about me being a cub had always annoyed me in the past, but now I just could not get angry with her. She giggled and mouthed my nose and cheeks. Vermillion cuddled up against my back and licked my ears and neck. "I'm so sorry about Tabaqui. Even if I had my doubts about him, he most certainly did not deserve an end like what he got. We're so glad that you're alive", he softly said. I reached back and rubbed my face against his cheek. "Thank you. It is so good to see you and Lala together." He smiled and rubbed his muzzle over my mouth. The white-green wolf came up. "Shall I take Rusty outside for a nature call, Lala? Mine both need to go." "Oh, thanks Maki. It means that I'll have my full dedicated attention for this big wolf-cub here", she grinned. "I am sure he is in need of some extra care after all this time", she added while licking my face and chest. Maki chuckled and nuzzled my face while winking to Lala, "Oh and what a cutie he is! Though I can take him off of your paws as well for a nature call?" I exhaled and grumbled. "Here we go again." Vermillion laughed. "The big and fierce human who has fought Shere-Khan several times and survived still is a cub. Now the shocking truth is finally out!" I gave him a blank stare. "You're starting this as well? This is great, now I have two big, red teasing wolves to deal with. I do need to go out for a nature call, you were right about that, so I might as well", I said to Maki, "At least I'll be ridden of these two", I grinned while working my way out from in between the wolf-pile. Lala paw batted at me. "Silly human."

I crawled through the den's exit, out in the morning sun and shivered. The fresh and damp morning air felt cold on my skin, which was still wet from the wolves' saliva. "Where can I relieve myself? I knew all the spots in the pack's old grounds." Maki gestured me to follow her. I watched her help the cubs to do their business and found a brush to relieve myself. "Do you want me to clean you?", she kindly asked after finishing tending to the cubs. "I figured it would be hard for you to reach all the way down there yourself", she added after seeing the expression on my face. "Uh...Um.. No. I tend to clean myself when I swim in the little lake at the other side where my den is." "Alright", she smiled. Bagheera and Baloo came walking up. "So have all the wolves finished with cuddling and slobbering you so that you can come spend some time with your old feline and ursine friends?", he smiled. Maki chuckled, "Oh, I would not mind looking after him for a bit longer." The black feline grinned. Maki raised herself on her rear legs and playfully nipped my nose before leading the cubs back to the communal den. Baloo nudged me and Bagheera. "Come, let's go to my den."

The large bear sat down against a big sloping rock in front of the cave's entrance. Bagheera sprawled down next to him and I found a spot in between the bear's rear legs. I leaned back against his soft belly. I shook my head. "That Lala. And now that green wolf and Vermillion are in on that whole cub thing as well." Bagheera laughed. "Lala always loved to tease you about being a cub. It's good to see not much has changed while we were gone. She loves you to bits, she really does. It's just your response she finds hilarious. Maybe you should just say yes when she teases you again and see how serious she is about it. I am sure that would be the last thing she would expect. I'd love to see her reaction", the panther grinned. "Yeah, right", I grumbled. "Maki is a very caring wolf. Akru is lucky to have found a mate in her", the brown bear said. "She wasn't teasing you when she asked if you needed to be cleaned, you know", he added with a smile. "She only wanted to help you out. This is not the human world. You don't have to be ashamed of these kind of things here." "It's making me feel so awkward." "That's the human in you. You're among wolves now", Baloo smiled, pulling me snugly against his chest and belly. "Did you sleep well?", Bagheera asked, changing the subject after seeing my discomfort. "No. I had a terrible nightmare." "About Shere-Khan?" the black panther asked. "Yes. It was very disturbing. I saw Tabaqui's grave and the ground opened up to his remains, and afterwards I was at the mound where Alexander's remains are." I looked at Bagheera, "I saw your skeleton right next to Alexander's, and your skull was crushed. Shere-Khan appeared with his jaws around Luri's neck and killed her right in front of me. All the time, the words 'Your demise' just kept on echoing through my mind."

Bagheera crawled up against me in between Baloo's paws and licked my face. "That must have been agonizing. But Luri was there to comfort you, at least." "She said that I could be sure that my nightmare would never become reality. But I'm worried. That tiger wants to destroy me. If not by killing me, it is by hurting me by taking those that I love." "Let me tell you something about Luri", the black panther said. "You've only known her as the very caring and loving mother she is to you, to Sura, Akru, and Mowgli. I've known her for very long, and know a different side of her. She's a brilliant strategist, a fearsome fighter, and can be a cold blooded, merciless killer if you're on her bad side. When Mowgli got orphaned and came to the den for the first time, Shere-Khan tried to take him. She fought and chased Shere-Khan away all by herself. He fears her, for a very good reason. She's probably the only wolf of the pack who would stand a chance in a fight against him. She keeps it to herself though. She's not particularly proud of that side of her. But that's why she assured you that what you saw in your dream will never happen. I've also seen you fight. First the poachers when you rescued me, then against Sandah, and yesterday Shere-Khan. You are a force to be reckoned with yourself, my human friend. And Shere-Khan knows this. That is why he went for Tabaqui, and not you, tragically." I exhaled. "He would have fallen into my machete, Bagheera. I could have ended him." "You mean too much to me. I couldn't get it over my heart to see you get hurt any more, my friend. I've told you that. Even if that meant letting Shere-Khan escape." Baloo slowly lay down on the ground, pulling me and Bagheera along with him. "Seems someone else also is a bit of a cuddle monster", the panther chuckled, while making himself comfortable against me in Baloo's tight bear hug. The bear tongue bathed Bagheera, who surrendered to the affection. The feline rumbled contently with his eyes closed as Baloo licked his chest and belly, before he started to gently nip and nibble my right ear and cheek. Baloo turned to me, licking me with long, slow strokes all the way from my lower belly to my chin and over my face. I felt bliss, being together with Bagheera in the bear's tight embrace. "I really can't put to words how happy I am to have you both back again", Baloo said. "That feeling is all mutual, my ursine friend", Bagheera said dreamily. I could only nod in agreement.