A Light in a Sea of Dark
For in the beginning, there was naught but dark and void...or so it was thought
Turns out, the void isn't as void as we thought. It has Tony the Dragon. Hell yeah.
A short comedy piece :o Enjoy!
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
But there was also a sick as hell dragon there, right besides the light. He was red and blue twisting down his snake-like form, tendrils of gold waving away from his body. Four legs sprouted from the trunk of his body, short claws tipping each one. He also had some rad as hell sunglasses on.
"Sup," said the dragon, worming his way around the light.
God stared at him. "What," he mandated, divine glory filling his words, "Are you doing?"
The dragon snapped his fingers and grinned. "Oh, you know, basking in this tight-light. You do this for a livin'?"
God stared at the dragon, confused. "Who even are you?"
There was no answer.
"Hello?"
The dragon pulled down his sunglasses and looked behind him in the infinite black of the void, then looked back at God. "Wait, were you talkin' to me?"
God stared. "Well who the bloody else would I be talking to? Answer me!"
The dragon's grin grew even wider as a laugh escaped his uncoiling body. "Oh man, oh man, you ain't gonna believe this but I..." The dragon turned to face God in his entirety, his draconic form uncoiling to encompass all of creation. "I'm Tony."
God pointed His fingers at Tony. "Now you listen here, ya scrap fingered scale bucket. I? I am God, and I have a universe to create. If you don't mind, move, or I'll have make you move."
Tony looked at God grin still splitting his face ear to ear. "Mister, I've had a rather tired few eternities, so if you don't mind, can I ask you to just hold off for, oh..." He trailed off. "A couple billion years?"
God was speechless for a moment before regaining his composure. "Move. Now."
Tony's grin weakened as he gave his response. "No."
God raised his hands, tendrils of light materializing from below the void, forming tipped spears, moving at the speed of creation. He grew in size as rage coated His being, armoring Him.
Tony's grin finally dropped for good. His voice grew steely as he said: "I think you misunderstood."
God flew back as his spears of light were cast aside by willpower, his armor of rage dissipating. God faced a single tooth as big as Him, Tony's body surrounding God. "I may call myself Tony but don't be fooled."
The darkness around them faded away as hundreds of lights revealed themselves, creation dotting the not-so-empty-void. "You aren't alone here."
God panicked as he stumbled around, trying to get away. But Tony's body wrapped itself around God, blocking out the lights once more and trapping God to a small space.
Tony said, "And you know what?"
God, fear in His voice, the once divine, commanding decrees reduced to a stammer, said "What?"
God's radiance lit Tony's leering, grinning face as his head came into view. "I've been getting hungry."
A light faded.