The Adventures of Sabin Diggs
Okay, this is my very first time writing for this site. But I love writing stories and I've been writing stories about animals for a while now. Anyway, if you can give me pointers and tips of improvement on my writing if you can, from plot to characterization, let me know.
The Adventures of Sabin Baker
** Chapter 1- The Howling Dunes**
Sabin Baker hated travelling through arid regions like the Howling Dunes. It was a dangerous place that only few people lived because of the howling strong winds, the intense heat that could fry more than just an egg, and the mirages that appeared from the mind playing tricks on the traveler. Despite the negatives of this place, the young jackal, garbed in ragged trousers and shirt, learned from old tales that many treasures were buried under the knee-deep sand. And he was intent on finding something to sell at the local market.
He had roamed the sands for only two hours, scavenging any trinket, coin, or item worth item, but so far fortune had not smiled on him. There has to be something around here, anything! He thought in frustration.
But there was something around that he would find. Not a trinket, jewel, or treasure, something he never thought he would find.
As Sabin crested one of the dunes, ignoring the hot sting of the red brown sand, he gazed around at the dips and rises in the landscape. He admired how the wind would kick up clouds as if exhaling a breath of life, how some of the thorny cactus remained steady in the ground, and how the sweltering heat could be seen as wisps of steam.
Suddenly, Sabin's eyes caught the sight of a supine form lying face up in the sand. He couldn't distinguish who or what it was but decided to take a closer. Carefully, he edged downhill, wondering who the mysterious strange could be or whether he had treasure. However, when he finally reached the individual, he realized it wasn't a male-but a female.
Eyes closed and chest faintly moving with breath was a beautiful arctic fox. Sabin had never seen one before since most usually lived in the snowy Cross Bone Mountains and looked at her in wonderment like a child opening a new toy for Christmas. She was dressed in an embroidered bodice, blue cloak, and knee length trousers, golden bangles around her bare ankles and wrists. Her ivory fur was unkempt and caked with red brown sand.
Sabin couldn't bring himself to steal from the girl. He was too curious to find out why she was wandering this desert on her own. Not to mention, she needed medicine, water, and shelter. Kneeling down close to her head, Sabin reached for the leather canteen on his side. He popped the cap off, peering to make sure there was some water in some, thinking it was all gone. Instead half of the water remained.
He brought his left paw behind her head and held the canteen in the right. Meticulous not to waste a drop, he brought the canteen to her lips and poured the water in her mouth. At first the water merely trickled down her lips, but after five minutes, the arctic fox coughed up a little, but didn't open her eyes. She's alive, but barely, Sabin told himself. I have to get her back to town soon...
Putting away his canteen, Sabin leaned down and lifted the arctic fox by the shoulders and hoisted her onto this back. He could feel the faint breathing and dim heartbeat coming from her and knew time was of the essence.
Swiftly, the young jackal began to trek back up the dune and towards his homeland. He just hoped that he wasn't too late in finding the arctic fox. He had so much to ask her.
Along the trek across the desert, Sabin did everything possible to make it bearable for the arctic fox that still didn't stir but merely breathed. He used his own shirt off his back to cover her, not caring about the heat or if anyone saw him. That is if anyone had. He fed her precious cactus water in between stops, giving her much and taking little, while filling the rest in his canteen.
Nearing the borders of the Howling Dunes, homeland in sight, Sabin noticed that the arctic fox show signs of life. Her breathing came heavier, the heartbeat was stronger, but she was still too weak to make any signs of movement. Even the splotches of sand were blown off by excess winds. Still Sabin needed to get her to a shaded area.
And as he crossed the thresh hold into soft green grass leading back to town, Sabin heard her murmur something soft, but understandable, "Prowler."
"What does that mean?" he asked himself quietly. Was it some kind of code, an item, a group?
Whatever it was, Sabin would have to find out later. He breathed a sigh of relief, relishing the cool shade of the trees as he ambled up the winding dirt path, muscles aching and panting. Despite all the exhaustion taking over, the young jackal fought it.
When he finally reached the everglade, he smiled looking at the bustling city before him. Stone buildings with black shingled roves huddled together in rows. Wolves, coyotes, and foxes walked about in tunics, dresses, robes, and trousers, some baring wares of their trade. Others communicated sharing laughs, stories, and gossip. In the distance, the landmark of the town was a bell tower glistening in the sunlight, its golden bell ringing ten times. He knew this town as Bone Bell City.
"Home sweet home," Sabin said smiling and making his way toward his home with the fox on his back.
Thornwick growled menacingly and threw his glass at Snickertail's head. With a yelp of fear, the coyote duck and cowered knowing that she was going to get punished harshly. But the venomous look the black wolf gave his subordinate was more terrifying than whips or a gash in the gut by a broad sword.
"You lost the Prowler!" the wolf snapped. "Sometimes, I wonder if you're any use to me."
"I'm t-terribly s-sorry, sir," Snickertail said. "She used a decoy on me and I lost sight of her in the Howling Dunes."
Without warning, Thornwick struck her across the face with his meaty paw and then grabbed her by the head fur and pulled her close. His hot breath stank of rotting meat and wine. She looked into her master's amber eyes, ears flat against her head, terrified of what magic he might use to punish her.
"Time after time, this fox has evaded your grasp by chance," Thornwick said, "each time you're close to subduing her. Tell me, Snickertail, how many times have you chased her?"
"Four, sir," she replied.
"And how many times have you failed to capture the Prowler?"
"Four," she repeated, trembling.
"Such incompetence cannot be tolerated without punishment."
"No, please, I beg you."
He slapped her face again and the coyote fell silent again. "Speak only when I gave you permission! Now as I was saying, punishment will be in order. But instead of beating you senselessly I have another idea."
Pushing Snickertail backwards, he reached down and unbuttoned his pants. He pushed them down to reveal a long, huge pink member and grinned wickedly at her. The coyote backed up, realizing what she would have to do. But Thornwick was quicker than her and grasped her head and pulled her towards him; face inches away from his member.
"You will please me as your punishment for you incompetence," the wolf said. "I will grant you one more chance to catch the Prowler, but first come here and make your master happy. Now!"
Snickertail, relieved to get another chance, bowed low and kissed his clawed feet before moving up to his member. She slowly gave it tentative licks, causing the wolf to groan in pleasure. Then she took the erect nine inch cock, past her lips sucking. Thoroughly enjoying the warmth of her tongue, Thornwick seized a fist full of hair and urged on, thrusting in and out.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Sorry to leave you hanging right there, but that's all I got for now.