Making furries a reality...

Story by Raxmo on SoFurry

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#1 of Thought experiments

What would it actually take to make furries a reality? Let's think and find out.


Preface

So, this isn't a well researched scientific paper or anything, just some years of thought put into it, so if you are expecting a detailed explanation of the precise methodology and diagrams, you are looking in the wrong place. This is a rigorous thought experiment though, with years of thought put into it, and thus, should be rather close to a full on peer reviewed and published paper, just without the peer review or publication. This is more for entertainment, but with some "real" science put into it.

So, what will be covered?

Well, this... paper will hopefully answer "How do we make furries real?" In it, I'll be covering the 5 methods for creating furries that are actually grounded in reality. Sorry, but there is no platform 9 3/4... okay, people aren't running around fighting dementors in the streets of London. Okay, there's an app for that, but there's no spell to magically poof a person into a non-human like half the adults in Harry Potter. Fine, magic is a perfectly valid method to making furries. We'll call it method number i. Or maybe e/pi.

Method 1

So, the first method's actually not far from method i. It is to simply sit back, and let the cosmic randomness make furries for us. There's actually nothing in biology, or science that says that this is strictly impossible, just that the time it would take for it to happen, or for us to actually encounter them would be so long that we'd likely see the heat death of the universe first. And for the religious peeps, one could argue that if God wanted furries, he'd have made them by now. So, method 1's pretty much out.

Method 2

Okay, so we can't rely on the cosmic chaos to make furries, but we could speed things up a bit and make both Darwin and the Elizabethans quite proud. Method 2 is simple, we breed dogs (or cows, foxes, chickens, horses, anything with the genetic trait to be able to be domesticated really) until we get an anthro breed. This is actually well within the realms of biological possibility, and depending on the base animal, wouldn't even take all that long.

Let's take dogs for example.We would pool together 1000 breeding pairs for the process and maintain those 1000 pairs each generation. This will maintain a large genetic diversity to help reduce and prevent genetic complications in the resulting anthros. Now we would also want to start with a breed that is already large, like pit-bulls, German Shepherds, dobermans, etc to give ourselves a head-start. Each generation, we would take the closest 1000 males, and 1000 females, make a new pool of breeding pairs, and continue on. Dogs of that size generally enter maturity at about 2 years, this would also give us time to asses their attributes for qualification in the process. Given that their maturity would start at 2 years, and our target would be similar to humans (12 years) this gives us an increase of 10 years over the course of the process. Assuming that this is linear, and that it would take about 50 generations to finish, this gives us a 345 year experiment. So if this were to begin in 2020, we'd have furries by 2365. Just in time to have a full colony on Mars. And the Moon (according to NASA).

Now, say we do this, and it is successful, we would have some issues on our hands during the processes. For one, how would we handle inter species relations? I mean, at some point, we would have mostly intelligent furries running around, and likely well before they reach human levels of intelligence. Not to mention, once they reach human intelligence, what rights would they have? Would they all just be considered pets? That just sounds like slavery. While yes, there is a general distinction between petship and slavery, it would be a very fine line that is also quite blurry. This doesn't exactly bode well for the quest for making furries.

Method 3

Okay, so it seems that the sheer length of time it takes for breeding to be successful causes problems, so if we could do it faster, we would have a fast enough genesis to make the necessary changes to iron things out, right? There is a way to make it all happen faster. MUCH faster. we could make chimeras.

No, I'm not talking the mythological creature, I'm talking organisms with tissues of various origin. We've been able to grow human ears on rat's, so, why can't we grow rat ears on a human? That's the idea behind this method, grafting other animal's stem cells onto a human to turn them into a furry. Now there are potentially two ways to do this as well.

First, we do all the grafting at the embryonic stage, which would actually increase the chances of success. The other is to graft the tissue on an adult human, which could be more problematic medically, but less problematic socially.

Okay, let's tackle the first method, method 3.1. So the idea is to take a human embreo, and replace bits with bits from the target animal, like head, skin, legs, and tail mostly, and then you let it develop and pray that the resulting furry doesn't self-destruct from an auto-immune response. Now, socially, and morally, this raises all kinds of issues. Mainly, the whole "no human experimentation" thing is a bit of a problem. Not to mention the only real benefit would be maybe advances in auto-immune disease treatment, and not much else.

Okay, then what about method 3.2? Well, at that point, the patient would be consenting to the procedure, and there is a chance that there is a window of opportunity for adult humans to even have the procedure be successful. Now we would still have the whole self-destructing body problem from before, so... still an issue.

Method 4

So, what if we didn't use chimeras, and instead wrote an entirely new genome for furries? See, NOW you are thinking! That's what method 4 is: genetically modifying humans or animals to make furries. This would require a LOT of research, 50-100 years of genetic research. Give or take, maybe even less. But hey, sure beats waiting 350 years for breading, or having your skin trying leap from your own flesh.

Now this method is a bit of an interesting one, mainly because we would gain knowledge of the genetic algorithm that would help us use genetic therapy to solve all kinds of issues, from HIV, to sickle cell, to potentially even cancer. All of these could either be cured completely, or at least much better treated and even caught much sooner.

This is all well and good, but we still have a problem: humans aren't becoming furries, we are still just sitting back and looking at the pretty furries running around (hopefully) happily.

Method 5

So, what is this mythical, magical method 5 then, hm? Well, let me tell you: total bio-genetic re-assignment. that's right, overhauling an entire person's genetic makeup and forcing metamorphosis in a human. This method would take the most research of all of them, and would have that hardest time getting off the ground, but would come with the most benefits of all. Mainly, if we could pull it off, we could re-grow lost limbs, or have true gender re-assignment. Many issues in the medical field would become nearly trivial with this kind of technology.

So what would the steps be? Well, for one, you would take the patient's DNA, and analyze it. Then, we would take that DNA, and the DNA of the target animal, and find the difference necessary to make the result give us a furry. Then, we would use a retro-virus to edit in the changes and finally, we would induce metamorphosis through activating a portion of the new DNA in the patient and put them in a metal cocoon for 6-9 months while the magic happens.

Okay, cool, all that sounds good, but if we can change the DNA of a person and even who they are physically, then criminals could do a crime, like murder, leave all the genetic evidence they want, then just change themselves and be done with it, right? Well, yes. That's why there could only be one facility who would be allowed to even do the procedure, and they would have to log EVERYONE's DNA pre and post op. This way, if anythi8ng comes up, law-enforcement could cross-check the database to see if they had changed their genetics or not.

now, if there can only be one facility, then only one country can have access to the technology, and while each country wouldn't necessarily be opposed to another country having the tech, they also don't want it in their own country due to the logistics and potential corruption that could easily blow up out of control.

Okay, so, solution? Yes, easy, start up a whole new country, from scratch, and put the facility there. Now given the fact that this paper is on making furries real, and not making a new country, I'll be covering the whole country thing in another paper.