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Working at a petting zoo was a okay life for Dallas Bowman. He would have prefered to not have to work there, but when he wrecked his car, he was (un)lucky enough to not die immediately. The Non-Feral Animal Transformation program exists as a last resort option to save lives. It turns a human body into a completely healthy talking animal. You might not have hands anymore but it beats being dead.

Dallas wasn't ready to die at 25 years old and was glad he signed the consent forms for such a procedure when he visited a petting zoo as a teenager. He happily traded his uncertain future to enjoy a VIP pass that got him into the Zoo for special events and discounts on admission.

Being forced into working at the petting zoo was the unfortunate side of signing the form. People didn't think it would ever happen to them, until it does. Dallas didn't want people who knew him to know what happened to him, so he went by the stage name Flappy the Harpy Eagle.

Things were okay for a while until that dickhead Mr Hamilton decided that he wanted to sell the petting zoo's land to a developer for a sizeable profit. Flappy joined the rest of the birds and went on strike. They were people who only looked like animals, but Mr Hamilton treated them like pets to be traded off to another master on a whim. The mammals and reptiles couldn't just fly away at the drop of a hat. The silver haired devil convinced them to stay and participate in the disgusting slave auction he called a team draft.

Flappy the Harpy Eagle, Rudy the Parrot, and Melinda the Bald Eagle watch the slaves from a roof top. Melinda says, "Look at that bastard with his shit eating grin. He is enjoying every second of their misery." Rudy says, "They are lined up like meat on a conveyor belt. Waiting to be dumped into the grinder to make hot dogs." Melinda asks, "How happy can they possibly feel after being treated like hot garbage?"

Looking at the seven park directors dividing the slaves, Flappy says, "I can't stand to watch my zoo family get callously divided up like cuts of meat." They watch the last round of the draft and the animals spend a few minutes saying goodbyes to each other. Mr Hamilton sees the birds watching and calls out, "I have assigned all the birds to new zoos. The info is posted in several windows, so you have no excuses to say you didn't know. Tell all your buddies that they have one week to fly their way to their new jobs." Flappy yells, "Fuck you HamFace!" Hamilton waves his middle finger at them and walks off.

A few birds fly around the empty zoo in a panic. All the nest boxes are torn down and strewn across the ground. Mark the Raven cries, "I never learned how to survive in the wild!" Flappy tries to comfort him and fails to find the right words.

The afternoon sun is high in the sky and some of the birds fly off to a local bar to come up with a plan. The bouncer carries the birds inside, two by two, and places them on the backs of chairs at the long bar. Hot Wings the Vulture says, "Screw HamFace, he can't force us to relocate all across the region." The waitress holds up a thimble sized shot glass. Flappy takes it in his beak and downs the burning liquid." The birds bitch and moan about the zoo closing down until the sun goes down.

After several drinks they start telling stories about why they became birds. Flappy tells his story about signing the petting zoo consent form and then one day waking up a giant ass bird. He cries and tells about how much he loves griffins and that was what he wrote as his number one pick. Hot Wings the Vulture says, "I heard a rumor of a guy who specializes in non-traditional animals." Rudy exclaims, "Bullshit, ain't nobody can make a griffin. They are just fairy tales." Hot Wings replies, "It's true! I heard some people talking about him one time. They say he's an actual sorcerer and understands the forgotten magic that powers the transformation booths. He can create new animals." Flappy asks, "What's this sorcerer's name?" Hot Wings lowers his voice and says, "Nobody knows, they said he magically erases your memory after he does his work."

Being skeptical, Flappy states, "Nobody knows how to do magic. The transformation booth is just a mass produced fluke that people still don't understand." Hot Wings asks, "What if it was true? Would you find him and ask to be a griffin?" Flappy doesn't know how to feel about such a fantasy so he replies, "Sure. But how would we even find him?" Hot Wings replies, "They said, you have to have a strong enough desire to call him to you. Then he will come find you." Flappy puffs his chest and says, "That's some make believe child shit."

Flappy feels like he's going to barf. He flutters to the ground and stumbles towards the bathroom as his talons click against the floor. He kicks the door open with his talons, leaving gouges in the paint. With a good hop and a single flap, he perches on the sink. Looking at his large bird body in the mirror, he gives a few dry wretches into the sink and nothing comes out. He looks into his eyes and drunkenly says, "Great and powerful sorcerer. I beg you to help me. I want to be a griffin. I feel like only half of a person without the rest of my body." Flappy drunkenly looks down at his feet. His orange Non-Feral Animal identification bracelet dangles on his right leg. He always thought of them as hands. He felt like a man without legs walking around on his hands.

Flappy loses his balance and falls into the sink. He twists to lay on his back in the large sink and waves his 'hands' in the air. The vomit finally comes and he leans his head over to spray it right in the floor. He looks over to the mirror and says, "I didn't want to be a eagle. I wanted to be a griffin. They made me like this against my will." He cries to himself and lays in the sink in pity.

Into the bathroom walks an old man. He wrinkles his nose at the mess and walks around it to stand at the urinal. Flappy yells, "Yeah, I puked in the floor. You gonna say anything about it?" The man says, "I know better than to argue with someone that has claws bigger than my fingers." Flappy says, "Damn right!" The old man finishes and says, "I heard about them closing down the petting zoo. What you gonna do now?" Flappy thinks to himself for a minute and says, "I dunno, maybe find a nice bell tower to haunt. I could survive on eating pigeons for a while."

The old man laughs and replies, "A big bird like you deserves something better than that." Flappy lays his head on the edge of the sink and says, "I could get a job at an airport chasing away birds from the runway." The old man washes his hands in the sink next to Flappy and asks, "Is that really what you want to do?"

With tears in his eyes, Flappy answers, "No! Maybe I'll just fly as high as I can into the air and dive bomb into the asphalt. It wouldn't hurt too much if I made sure to hit the ground head first." The old man says, "That would be a terrible waste. I'm sure you'll figure something out when you sober up."

With a sigh, Flappy looks back at his reflection in the mirror. His piercing eyes scare children and adults alike. He fumbles around in the sink to stand up. He looks down at the puddle of puke on the floor and hops around it to return to the bar. Melinda the Bald Eagle brags, "I can sell my eggs for $10 a pop. They taste like America!" The birds all laugh at the silly idea. Flappy jumps up to his chair and looks around. He waves his head to the waitress and she asks, "What can I get you?" Flappy replies, "Just some water, I need to sober up and do some gliding to think."

Rudy the Parrot asks, "Where we gonna sleep tonight? HamFace really fucked up our nests." Mark the Raven answers, "I think I saw a cosy looking patio we can crash on." Melinda retorts in disgust, "I'm a bald eagle. I deserve better than that." The birds argue for another half hour and get off topic. Flappy walks towards the door and asks the bouncer for a lift. The burly man picks up the giant bird and carries him to the sidewalk. He uses both hands to do an underhanded throw and Flappy spreads his huge wings to fly away.

The warm streets give a nice updraft as Flappy aimlessly follows the streetlights down the roads around town. He hears a train and says to himself, "That would be a good place to nap. I could be hundreds of miles away from here without breaking a sweat." He turns towards the tracks and listens for the train whistle in the night's sky. He turns towards the noise and doesn't have to fly very far to find the long train.

Matching the speed of the train is easy work and Flappy lands on a handrail of the powerful engine. He looks in the window and the engineer opens it and exclaims, "Buzz off bird." Flappy replies, "I'm no trouble. I just want to hitch a ride to anywhere but here." The engineer replies, "Oh, you're not wild? Sure, whatever. Just don't shit everywhere." Flappy jumps to the window and looks around at the cockpit. He asks, "Mind if I sit over there?" The man nods and Flappy nests on an empty chair.

The roar of the diesel engine and the soft chatter of the conductor's radio is just what Flappy needed to put him into a deep sleep. Flappy wakes up a few hours later and asks, "Where are we now?" The conductor says, "We just passed Springfield a few minutes ago. How far you planning on running from your problems?" Flappy replies "How far you going?" The engineer answers, "This train is going to the east coast." Flappy tucks his head down and says, "Wake me when my problems don't seem so big anymore."

The sun rises and the conductor pokes Flappy and says, "It's shift change. You can't be in here." Flappy yawns and the conductor opens the window for him. Flappy hops up and jumps out to fly circles in the sky. He spots some movement in the grass and decides it was a free breakfast. He swoops down to grab a large rat. He quickly wolfs it down and heads back to the train. He lands on the rail and watches the conductor climb down to the ground. The new conductor says, "That's the biggest fucking bird I've ever seen." The other conductor yells up to him, "Don't mind him, he's just another train hopper who thinks running away will solve his problems."

The new conductor looks at the big bird and says, "My name is Anton. What's yours?" Flappy replies, "Flappy the Harpy Eagle." Anton smiles and orders, "Okay Flappy, If you want to hitch a ride, make yourself useful and scout the train for boxcar hobos."

Flappy flies alongside the parked train and looks at the graffiti on the boxcars. The train is empty and Flappy flies the length looking at the colorful words and images. He pauses and circles around when he sees a graffiti picture of a griffin. He lands on a post and takes in the details.

The griffin in the picture has black and white feathers just like Flappy. The lion body connects perfectly to behind the front legs. It's golden fur stirs a longing in Flappy's brain. He looks at the griffin and yells, "Sorcerer, hear my call. Help me regain the half of my body I have been missing. Make me whole." Flappy watches the griffin for a while until the train starts to move. He jumps off the post and flies beside the griffin. Flappy feels like he is looking in the mirror at what he should look like.

In small red letters beside the griffin is written, 'They are real. -Z." Flappy talks to the griffin as he flies beside the train, "I used to be a normal person before I was reincarnated as half a griffin. What do I have to do to become whole?" Flappy speeds up and cuts across a field to catch up to the train engine as it goes around a bend.

Anton calls out the window, "When you didn't come back, I assumed you wandered off." Flappy replies, "I'm so far from home right now, I might as well keep going." Flappy hops on the window frame and sits on a corner of the dash board. He looks at the track ahead and asks, "Do you know anything about the griffin graffiti signed Z?" Anton smiles and says, "That caught your eye too, huh? It does kind of look like you, now that I think about it. Graffiti like that started showing up on trains a few months ago. Dragons, Griffins, Unicorns, and mythical animals like that. Whoever drew them is wasting their talent on petty vandalism."

Flappy asks, "Do you think Griffins are real?" Anton shrugs and replies, "Sure, why not? You're a talking bird. I'm sure somebody out there knows more about how you NFAs are made." Anton takes his phone out and pulls up a picture of a graffiti deer with tree branches for antlers. Anton shows it to the Bird perched beside him and asks, "What kind of creature is this? The artist must be getting bored of the common myths." Flappy looks at it and asks, "Enlarge the signature." Anton swipes at the phone a few times and says, "It says, ideas take root. -Z"

Anton frowns and says, "If it has trees growing from it's head, the root must be strangling the brain. It doesn't make biological sense." Flappy thinks for a minute and says, "Magic doesn't have to make sense." Another train passes in the opposite direction and Flappy jumps to the open window and watches the graffiti intently. He sees a Cockatrice labeled, 'They are real -Z.'

Further down the train is a car with a picture of a very cactus like cat labeled with 'look but don't touch -Z'. Anton exclaims, "I like that one. You know the legend of the Cactus Cat?" Flappy nests down in the chair beside Anton and says, "No. Is that a real thing?" Anton smiles and explains, "It's a bobcat covered in cactus thorns. They like to get drunk on fermented cactus juice and scream into the night. I have seen a few painted on boxcars." The train continues down the track and Flappy tries to stay out of the way.

The east coast rapidly approaches and Flappy bids goodbye to the friend he made along the way. He fly circles around a town he doesn't know the name of and spots a few birds that don't look like they would normally hang out together. The are perched on the tall building's room. With nothing else to do, he lands on the other side of the roof and approaches them. The birds eye him and Flappy introduces himself, "Good morning fellows. My name is Flappy. I just flew in from the midwest."

A Duck, a Hawk, and a large Bat sit on the ledge. The Bat says, "Names Leta. That's Bernice and Nicole. What's a big fellah like you doing migrating east?" Flappy tells the truth, "The petting zoo I worked at closed down and I decided to go on an adventure." Bernice the Duck asks, "Petting Zoo? Your one of those sellouts." Flappy understands that people who get transformed into birds where extremely rebellious and the freedom of being able to fly only enhanced that. Flappy tries to defend his job by saying, "I only worked there because I signed an emergency contingency plan consent form in exchange for benefits."

Nicole the Hawk exclaims, "They tricked ya did they? Ya know, the doctors sometimes get lazy and just say you're a goner because they don't feel like spending several hours putting humpty dumpy back together again." Questions race through Flappy's head since he never actually saw the medical forms detailing the extent of his injuries from the wreck. Leta explains, "That's what happened to Bernice here. You think she wanted to be a plain brown ugly duckling? No offense Bernice." Bernice nods and replies, "I know I'm not pretty like the male ducks are."

Flappy looks over the ledge of the building and says, "I didn't even want to be a Harpy Eagle. I wrote Griffin on the form and someone decided that Eagle was close enough." Leta, Bernice, and Nicole laugh at the explanation. Flappy exclaims, "I know there has to be a way to become a griffin! The transformation booths are magic that no one understands. But someone had to understand how they work to build the first one!" Leta leans in and says, "I heard a theory that the person who made the booths, made everyone forget how to do magic. Made everyone forget everything about magic. Don't you know, they don't repair the transformation booths. They just scrap them and order a new one."

Thinking on that, Flappy replies, "But there has to be someone that knows how they work. How can they even make them if they don't know?" Leta thinks for a moment and says, "I'm betting that fellah Dr Zion Zaytsev knows how to make you a Griffin. He runs the factory where the booths are made. It is guarded more than the federal reserve. So you know that's where they keep all the secrets." Things click into place for Flappy and he asks, "You ever seen any graffiti of mythical creatures signed with a Z?" The trio shake their heads no.

Nicole asks, "Ya think it's connected? I doubt the old doctor is going around tagging walls for kicks." Flappy says, "I'm going to that factory." Leta laughs, "They will never let you in." Flappy asks, "You know the bird motto?" Nicole replies, "Aim your droppings for their hair?" Flappy says, "No, the other one." Bernice answers, "We are free to fly where ever the fuck we want." The group laughs.

After getting directions to the factory, Flappy waits on a freeway sign for something to hitch a ride on. He watches vehicles for several minutes and sees a pickup truck hauling a fishing boat approaching. Flappy takes off and starts climbing into the sky. He looks down at the freeway and spots the truck approaching under him. With brave daring, Flappy tucks his wings into a dive and rockets towards the ground. He spreads his wings at the last moment and glides onto the boat. The driver didn't seem to notice him.

Flappy hopes the truck continues north for at least a few hours. He hops down to the floor and looks around. Flappy gives a happy wave of his head as he spots a cooler. Using his beak he unfastens the lid and flips it up. The ice is fresh and a few fish are packed in. Not being able to resist, Flappy uses his beak to pull one out and enjoy it. He hasn't eaten this good since the Zoo closed down. Flappy uses his beak to throw the mostly eaten fish body overboard when he is full. Flappy gives a happy murmur and grabs an icecube in his beak to suck on.

Having nothing else to do, Flappy nests on a life jacket laying on the floor and drifts off to sleep. He awakens to the boat driving slowly down a suburban street. Flappy pokes his head up and is unsure where he is. He hops up on the edge and spreads his wings to catch the wind and be lifted away from the boat.

Following the standard bird logic, Flappy looks around for the tallest thing to perch on. That was usually the hangout spot for NFA birds. Everything is pretty flat except for a mobile phone tower in the distance. He heads towards it, scanning the homes for signs of other birds to ask directions from. Landing on a catwalk of the empty tower, Flappy reads a few names scratched into flat surfaces and finds a blank spot to scratch his own. Using his talon he slowly writes, 'Flappy the Griffin'. With self satisfaction, Flappy jumps off the tower and heads north to try to find a better clue where he was.

Finally he comes across a highway. He swoops low to read the signs and is surprised that he only had a few more miles to go to reach the factory. He follows the directions Leta gave him and the miles pass quickly. The massive complex is in sight and Flappy tries to come up with a plan to meet Doctor Z. From the rumors Leta told him. Nobody has seen him in years. The doctor lives in the complex and never comes out.

Flappy decides to just fly high over the complex to scout it and pretend he didn't know what the building was if he got in trouble. The razor wire fences don't look inviting as Flappy lazily flies above the complex. Flappy looks down at it and asks, "Sorcerer, can you hear me? It's Flappy the Half Griffin. I came for you to make me whole."

The guards either didn't see him or didn't consider him a threat as Flappy finishes his recon. There was a nice looking courtyard in the middle of the complex. Maybe if he landed in the tree there, he could listen in for clues. Deciding that was the best course of action, Flappy tucks his wings and dives towards that area. He feels a flutter go through his body as he nears the ground. Flappy spreads his wings and tries to glide as quietly as he can into the tree. The plan is a success and Flappy listens for alarms to start ringing or people to start running towards him.

The courtyard is quiet as two people exit one building and walk under a breezeway towards another. Flappy looks over the buildings and waits. He finally sees a large blue tiger wander by and notices the tiger doesn't quite look like any species he has seen before. It has sabre teeth. Flappy looks curiously at the tiger as it sits under the tree. It licks it's paw and says, "You can come down now little one. You're not the first to get the insane idea to infiltrate our facility."

Flappy is frightened and asks, "You're not going to hurt me, are you?" The tiger casually replies, "No, but if you try to fly away before I get answers out of you, very bad things will happen to you." Flappy decides that the armed guards at the gate weren't the only guns hanging around. With a gentle glide, Flappy circles the tree as he descends. He lands on the ground in front of the tiger and takes in it's glowing blue eyes. The tiger smiles and asks, "Why did you come here?" Flappy squeezes his talons into the grass nervously and answers, "I want Dr Z to make me a Griffin." The tiger looks at the bird curiously and asks, "Why do you want to be a Griffin?"

Flappy is nervous that the saber tooth tiger didn't laugh at him or tell him Griffins aren't real or have any other reactions that Flappy has gotten. Finally Flappy answers, "I never wanted to be an eagle, I wrote down Griffin on my form and when I almost died in a car crash, I woke up like this. I feel like I'm walking around on my hands and my lower body is missing. I feel like I am already half a Griffin. I need help finding the other half of my body."

The Tiger says, "The Doc shouldn't be disturbed, but this is too interesting. How about we go see what he can do for you?" The Tiger stands up and motions for Flappy to follow. Flappy is overjoyed and runs behind the strange tiger. The tiger rubs up against an ID scanner and the door opens automatically.

With trepidation, Flappy follows the blue tiger into the building. Flappy asks, "What is your name?" The tiger looks back at him and bares his giant fangs, "Fang." Flappy replies, "I'm Flappy." Fang smiles and says, "Okay, Flappy Bird. Go through this door and knock on Dr Zaytsev's door." Fang presses the microchip in his back against another scanner and the door pops open with a friendly beep.

Flappy looks up at the tiger and then looks towards the open door. Despite being an apex predator, Flappy is frightened of what he will find. Flappy walks into the long white hallway and looks back. Fang waves a paw for him to keep walking. Putting on a brave face, Flappy channels his inner eagle and marches towards the next door. He reaches the metal door and uses his beak to peck against it in a knock. Noises can be heard behind the door and it opens to a pure black humanoid shadow with glowing purple eyes.

Flappy takes a few steps backwards in terror and the figure reaches an arm out to grab his neck. The touch causes Flappy's body to go limp and the black figure drags the bird into it's room. Flappy cries in terror at being tricked.

The inside of the room is pretty sparse. It contains a few tables littered with books, a bed, and a transformation booth. The figure roughly sets Flappy on his back on the table and spreads each wing. Flappy is paralyzed from the neck down as the Shadow places a pile of books on each of his spread eagle wings to pin him down. Flappy asks, "Are you Doctor Z?"

The Shadow ignores the question and feels around the bird's body. Flappy watches uncomfortably as the monster molests his feathers. After checking the bird over, the shadow replies, "Yes. I am the doctor. Why are you here?" Flappy replies, "I wanted to become a Griffin." Dr Z runs his finger across Flappy's tail feathers and replies, "It's going to hurt, a lot. Are you sure you want it that bad?" Flappy tries to look down at the shadow's purple eyes and replies, "Yes! I've wanted this ever since I became a bird."

Dr Z reaches into a cage under the table and holds up a white lab mouse by it's tail. Flappy looks at in confusion and says, "No thanks, I'm not hungry." The shadow places a hand on Flappy's head and gently strokes. Flappy starts feeling the energy leaving his restrained body. The doctor places the mouse on Flappy's chest and it glows purple. The mouse looks at it's paws and squeaks, "What the hell, I wanted to be a Griffin and you made me a mouse?" Flappy's eyes widen. That sounded a lot like his voice.

The mouse looks up at Flappy and asks, "If I'm in this body, who's in my old one?" Flappy replies, "It's still me in here." The mouse turns around to look at Dr Z and exclaims, "What are you doing?" Dr Z picks up mouse flappy and sets him in the transformation booth. Mouse flappy asks, "You making me a griffin now?" Dr Z answers, "Only half of one." He shuts the door and presses his black hand against it. The booth hums to life on it's own. Flappy looks at the booth in terror as all the safety procedures are skipped.

With a flash of light, the booth cuts off and Dr Z opens the door. Flappy the Lion looks up at the featureless black man shaped shadow with glowing purple eyes. Flappy the Eagle looks down and says, "Okay I think I see where your going with this. What is the part that is going to hurt?" Dr Z runs his black hand through the mane of the lion's head. His Purple eyes glow brighter as he says, "Combining you both to make one creature." Flappy Lion walks over to the table and looks at Flappy Eagle pinned down with stacks of books. He runs his lion tongue across the bird's body and says, "I'm ready if you are." Dr Z replies, "Good."

The Doctor claps his hands together then presses them to the floor. A pattern flows across the concrete like water being spilled. Flappy Lion takes a few steps back as it reaches towards him. The pattern stops to form a large purple glowing circle on the floor. Dr Z orders, "Lion, sit on that circle." Flappy Lion complies with the doctor to sit in the larger of two circles within the circle. Dr Z looks down at the Eagle on his table and lifts the books off the bird. Flappy rolls over and looks at the pattern on the floor.

Flappy can't help but ask, "This is real magic? The kind everyone says doesn't exist." Dr Z replies, "With boxes that can turn people into talking animals, why do people not believe in magic?" Dr Z points at the smaller circle and Flappy takes the hint that he needs to stand in it. He hops down from the table to stand looking at the lion version of himself. The lion asks, "If we are both the same person. Who would win in paper, rock, scissors?" Flappy Bird was thinking the same thing.

Dr Z ignores the childish question and orders, "Bird, turn around and lay down." Flappy Bird does as he is ordered. A thought crosses his mind that he is about to have a lion crammed up his butt. The lion version of himself has the same thought about cramming his head up a bird's butt. The black shadow says, "This is the messy part. It's better if you close your eyes." Both Flappy's close their eyes tight and hope they can make it through the pain.

The shadow pulls out an obsidian knife from behind a stack of books. He presses the knife to the back of his hand and it slides through. Holding the knife up, Dr Z watches purple liquid drip from the blade sticking out of his palm. Swinging his hand with inhuman speed, the shadow slams it down into the forehead of Flappy lion with a sickening crunch. The lion convulses and falls to the floor as the knife pierces it's brain. Energy flows through the lion and Dr Z places his other hand on the back to pull it's head and front legs away.

Flappy doesn't want to think about what he's hearing. The Doctor lifts the front half of the lion by the knife anchor and throws it out of the circle in a bloody heap. Dr Z turns to Flappy Bird and grabs a handful of tail feathers. He uses the impossibly sharp knife impaling his hand to slice the rump off the bird. Flappy screams as he is cut open and blood pours into the circle. The blood runs across the circle to the lion half. Dr Z works quickly and slides the screaming flapping bird towards the lion rump. The two wounds reach out towards each other and glow purple. Flappy's entire body burns as the two halves of himself attach and fight to equalize and adjust. Dr Z pumps more magic into the bird as his body grows to the proper proportions to the lion half.

A feeling starts to cut through the ludicrous amount of pain as the lion's legs start to flop around. Flappy looks back in amazement as he feels his new legs move around behind him. The twisted Doctor Z takes a few steps back and pulls the knife out of his hand. He proclaims, "This is my best work yet." Flappy looks across the room and cries when he sees the dead lion half. Flappy struggles to breathe with his strange new body. His internal organs burn as they continue to combine and work themselves into new forms. He croaks out, "What did you do to him?"

Dr Z says, "It wasn't really you, just a copy to prevent the mouse from rampaging as a lion." Doctor Z uses the knife to cut off a leg and asks, "You don't mind do you? I feel really drained." Flappy looks away as the monster starts taking inhuman sized bites from the lion flesh. The monster says, "You can see yourself out now. When everyone asks, just tell them you participated in the alpha testing program." Flappy crawls across the floor by his front legs. The horror at what that monster did to him starts to sink in. Flappy tries to make his back legs work and manages to stand up. He pulls the door open and limps out.

The corridor is quiet as Flappy limps down the hallway. He spreads his wings and touches the sides of the hall. Folding them up again, he starts to get the hang of four legged movements. Flappy tries to get his tears under control before he pushes a button beside the door and it swings open.

Fang is sitting across from the door and doesn't seem as large as he used to be. Fang exclaims, "Congratulations, the doctor loves the rare chance to experiment. Follow me and I will get you all set up." Flappy is amazed that a few people look him over but don't say anything as they head down the hall.

Fang directs them to a lab. A human technician greets them and exclaims, "Wow! I can't wait to go over the data from this fellow." Fang waves a paw towards a transformation booth and says, "We just need to give your body a scan." Flappy doesn't have the energy to argue, so he lays down in the booth to get a full body scan. The technician is giddy as he looks at the data coming out and types on the keyboard rapidly.

When the door swings open, Flappy climbs out of the booth and the technician starts feeling up the large Griffin. Flappy watches the human's hands trace around the seam that fuses together a lion and eagle. The man asks, "Any lingering pains in your new body?" Flappy feels mostly normal. He looks back at his body and swishes his lion tail. Flappy waves his butt and says, "No, but this is going to take forever to get used to. Can I still fly like this?" The man replies, "Yes, didn't you notice you have a considerably larger wing span?" Flappy shrugs and says, "It looks the same size as always. But the world feels smaller."

With a smile, Fang holds a paw up to his eye and covers up the lion half of Flappy. Fang announces, "You grew a lot in size. I'm sure once you get a feel for it, you'll be back to barnstorming in no time." Flappy spreads his wings in front of him and looks at the massive feathers. The eagle half of him looks the same but bigger. He's actually the same size as the giant blue saber tooth tiger now. The technician says, "Okay I'm all done with you." Fang replies, "Thanks, we'll be going now."

Flappy and Fang walk down a long corridor and discuss whats next. Flappy says, "My wish was granted but, I'm still homeless and unemployed." Fang asks, "What did you do before you came here?" Flappy answers, "I worked and lived at a petting zoo." Fang smiles and says, "Nothing wrong with that, I have two sisters that work at a petting zoo. Why did you quit?" Flappy stops and nervously stamps his back legs, "I kind of got caught up with the rest of the birds going on strike when it was going to be closing down. I guess it wasn't as bad as I convinced myself it was."

Fang waves his tail in excitement and says, "I bet you could renegotiate your contract now that you look like this. Any petting zoo would pay out the ass to get a real life griffin." Flappy cheers up and replies, "Hamilton wouldn't have any choice but to get on his knees to beg me to work for him. A man like that only sees dollar signs when he looks at animals." Fang escorts Flappy to the parking lot after coming up with a plan to get him home. Flappy hops in the back of a truck and waves goodbye to Fang as he pulls out of the gate.

After a friendly wave goodbye to the driver, Flappy hops out of the back of a truck and strolls up to the front gate of a air force base. The soldiers at the gate unsling their rifles when they see the griffin approaching. Flappy spreads his wings and says, "I have an appointment." The soldiers don't even ask Flappy questions as one talks into a phone. Fang explained the plan to hitchhike on one of those huge cargo planes. Flappy thought it was strange, but Fang assured him that in exchange for a few pictures with some pilots, he could get a free ride home.

A man comes running up to the gate and says, "Guys let him in!" A soldier opens the checkpoint gate and says, "Keep it on the ground at all times while inside the base." Flappy replies with a, "Yes sir!" The man waves Flappy to walk with him and introduces himself, "I'm Colonel Mason. You must be Flappy. Nice to meet you. When Fang called, I was excited to get a chance to meet you. The work volunteers like you do, will go a long way in the future." Flappy doesn't understand what Mason is referring to and simply replies, "Thank you."

Mason gently runs a hand along Flappy's feathered shoulders and says, "Every pilot dreams of one day getting to fly without needing his aircraft. Could you imagine the terror of having a squad of griffin calvary, armed to the teeth, flying towards you?" Flappy mentally frowns at the thought of being weaponized for war. Mason opens a door and says, "This way please." Flappy enters the building and several airmen gape at him. The airmen act like kids as they pal around with the griffin and take pictures with him. Flappy remembers the feeling of inspiring children with his impressive Harpy Eagle body back at the Zoo.

The men and women take turns riding on his back and Flappy answers questions as they examine his strange new body. A female pilot says, "If the men had their way, the Griffin Corps would be all women in chainmail bikinis. Swinging battle axes while making sexy poses." A man says, "You've shown me pictures of you in a bikini several times." She replies, "I know. We would be the fiercist bitches in the entire airforce." Everyone chuckles.

Flappy has a genuinely good time as he hangs out with the airmen. After a while, Mason looks at his watch and says, "Time to go." He leads Flappy to a huge cargo plane beside the runway. Flappy takes in the massive size of the plane. It was an impressive sight to behold. They walk up a ramp and Flappy is introduced to the crew.

They walk around the spacious cargo hold and Mason explains, "It's only a minor detour to get you where your going. We make these runs every day. Find yourself a spot out of the way while the flight crew is going through final checks. Mason says something to a crewman and exits the plane. The crewman holds a hand out to Flappy. With care, Flappy holds his front leg out for the shake. His talons dwarf the little human's hand.

Flappy lays down to wait for the plane to get going. It doesn't take long for the ramp to close and they are in the air heading west. The hours pass slowly as Flappy waits to get to his destination. The crewman feeds Flappy a ration pack halfway through the trip. After a few more hours, he comes back to yell over the roar of the plane, "The drop is coming up soon." Flappy yells back, "Drop? We're not landing?" The crewman laughs and flaps his arms like a chicken.

Flappy gets nervous, he was used to flying in his old body. Besides stretching his wings out during the drive over to the air force base, he hasn't had a chance to test out his new body. Jumping out of a moving plane scares him. Flappy looks out a small window at the rising sun. At least he wasn't about to do this at night. The crewman clips himself to the wall and starts to lower the back ramp. He listens on his headset and Flappy stamps his feet as his adrenaline starts pumping. He yells to himself, "I can do this. I'm a freaking griffin!" The signal is given and flappy charges down the ramp.

Flappy can't help but squawk in panic as he reorientates himself. To the pilot's credit they were nice enough to fly low and slow. Flappy tucks in his lion body and spreads his wings experimentally. He sees the wide open field of the new petting zoo he was assigned to. He holds his wings out and glides down. Flappy drags his lion ass through the grass as he makes a less than graceful first landing.

Bill the Striped Hyena, Ian the Maned Wolf, and Barnaby the Dik-Dik watch from a distance. Ian exclaims, "What the heck? That thing looks a lot like Flappy the Eagle." Barnaby asks, "You think that he disappeared for a week to get a lion sewed to his ass?" A crowd of animal starts to gather in the early morning zoo.

Flappy looks around at all the unfamiliar animals and spots Bill, Ian, and Barnaby. He exclaims to them, "Guys! How you been?" Bill replies, "What the hell Flappy? How did you become a griffin?" Flappy turns sideways and stretches his lion legs, "This old thing? Let's just say, I went on an adventure to find myself and actually did."