Task Force - Change in Plans
#16 of Task Force
I wanted to rebel so badly right now. I wanted to just give the government the bird and tell the others to stay, but I couldn't. Both arguments went against everything I had ever been taught in training. Whoever had decided this was an ignorant ass who knew nothing of comradery and team cohesion. There was no use arguing now though. What was done was done. Now Jessica and I would have to do the best we could with just the two of us.
Presently she stepped back inside the bunker, securing the large door behind her. She walked over to the table where I was sitting and sat in a chair next to me. I had no idea how long we sat there in silence. It felt as if a physical part of me had been ripped away. As if, in taking my squad mates, I was now missing an arm or leg. Finally Jessica broke the silence.
"What do we do now Harper? What's the plan?"
"We'll get orders, complete the mission, and go home. That's all we can do for the moment."
Eventually she got up and retired to her quarters. I sat alone for a while longer before doing the same. I lay in my bed staring at the concrete ceiling. Everything about this seamed wrong and I didn't know why. There was something going on in the background that I wasn't being told about. I had no evidence to support this theory, but I had a feeling. I had learned within the first year of training to trust my feelings. They usually served me better than my other senses.
Finally, after lying awake in the dark for an hour, I climbed out of my bunk and walked back out to the main room. I sat on the small couch and picked up my book. I didn't get far because a few minutes later, Jessica came out of her room as well. She looked startled to see me.
"Can't sleep?"
"No. Mind if I sit with you Kirian?"
It was one of those rare instances when she used my first name which meant something was wrong.
"Sure."
She walked over to the couch in her smooth gait and sat down next to me. Her light hair was pulled back into a short ponytail and, as always, she was bare foot. Her blue violet eyes were turned towards the wall, but appeared to be looking beyond it.
"Something's wrong here Kirian."
"You felt it too?"
"I felt it the moment I was finished recovering from the bio alterations. We've been so busy down here I never had the chance to think about it. Now it all comes back, only worse."
"I agree, the task force has changed. I don't know why or how, but something is different. It's no longer what I had expected and experienced."
We fell silent until Jessica spoke up again.
"Do you think we'll ever have the chance to go back to our old lives? Before we came to Center Seventeen?"
"I still haven't decided if I would ever want to."
"I know what you mean."
This statement brought back a question I had wanted to ask Jessica a long time ago, but had been driven from my mind for years.
"What did you give up when you left the academy? I never saw your parents at the funeral. You were the one who seemed the most willing to start over with the task force."
"My parents weren't there because I ran away from home when I was seven. They were rich pricks who had no time for me. I felt I hardly knew them when I left and never cared afterwards. I lived in an orphanage for about a year when I ran from there as well. I ended up hiding in the store room of a public library. One of the librarians found me and took me in, but I preferred living alone. He hid me there and allowed me to stay. I began reading again during that time. My parents had paid for private tutors, and I swore I would never learn again. I had no idea how much fun it was when I wasn't having all their information shoved at me forcibly. I started at A and worked my way through. In the three years I was there."
"You read an entire library? By the time you were eleven?"
"Yup. It was then when the librarian died of a stroke. Social services took me and put me back in school. I was back in everything I hated. I put up with it now though. I began learning computers, and started programming. It wasn't long before I was hacking to fix grades for classmates. I was almost thrown out, but one of the few social workers I liked pulled a few strings and convinced them to let me stay, under a personalized education program. Senior year I decided I didn't want to go to college. One of my friends was in a program called R O T C. I didn't know what it was, but I talked to the commander and he told me about the academy. We became close friends and he personally helped me study and get in shape for the applications. He was the only person I knew who showed up at the funeral."
She fell silent at this point. I had never known any of that about Jessica. She never talked about her past.
"I don't have anything to go back to if I get out, so I see it as a chance to start a new life. No strings, no connections. Why wouldn't you want to go back? You have your family and friends and Traci."
"Perhaps. My family thinks I'm dead. I only had a few friends, my closest being Teague since we were both five. Who knows what Traci is up to any more? Probably married."
"Don't worry about it Kirian. Everything will work out for you, no matter what happens here."
"How can you know that?"
"Because I know you."
"I wonder what will happen with us."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you, me, Teague, Tank, Trestan. The time we've spent together, our experiences, our connections, it's not exactly something that just ends."
"I guess we'll see if the time ever comes."
The two of us fell silent again. My mind continued to race as it had always done. Somehow I never had complete control over my thoughts when I was in this state. My brain was programmed for heightened perception and didn't like being idle. A question came into my mind, one I had not thought about for a long time. It seemed odd, and fitting that it would return to me now. I tried to forget it again but it wouldn't go away. I didn't want to think about it, but something told me that I had to ask it, I had to know. Especially with today's events and the situation we had been put in.
"Jessica, do you trust me?"
"Unquestioningly. Why would you have to ask?"
"Because I need to ask you a question, and I don't want you to think I'm crazy or anything, and I need you to take it completely seriously."
"Okay, what is it?"
It was amazing that I could take a bullet without flinching yet a simple question made me scared.
"Do you love me?"
She looked as though the question had taken her off her guard. Not as if she had to think of the answer, but more like she had to remember how to say the answer. She recomposed herself and looked me in the eyes. In a calm, serious, and tender tone, she answered.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I know you... and I know you love me."
How she knew that I had no idea. I couldn't remember ever expressing any emotion towards her since that night in the hospital. She continued.
"I know you didn't want to. You tried had to keep your emotions free, as you knew you needed to. In the end, you accepted it, but knew you would never need to express it. It was knowledge for you and you alone to contemplate and comprehend."
She said this all in that same voice, as if trying to express that it wasn't just blind passionate love for each other, but a trusting, calculated, mutual, emotional connection that we would need now more than ever. She was right.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because, you asked me not to, in your own way. Neither of us was ready, even though I wanted to be. When the time was right, we would both know."
"Sorry it wasn't as soon as you would have liked."
"It's better this way. Now I know I'm ready."
I leaned over and kissed her. We fell asleep on the couch, Jessica's body curled up in my arms. It had been a strange day, and undoubtedly more were to come.
I woke the next morning, still on the couch, Jessica still there. Ours was a strange relationship. We both knew how we felt, where we stood, and what it all meant. It required no explanation to ourselves, or to each other. I slowly tried to extricate myself from my position without waking her. This became particularly difficult when I noticed my tail was pinned. Eventually I was free, and Jess was still asleep.
I noticed the blue light flashing on the com consol, the signal for a new text document. I sat down and powered on the projectors. Text appeared suspended in the air in front of my face. I focused my vision and scanned the first few lines. It appeared to be an order describing out next set of missions. I scrolled back to the top and began reading it closely this time.
The further I got into the document, the more I worried about the contents. All of these operations were a load of crap. They were all small, insignificant targets which would have absolutely no effect on ending anything here. I began to realize what was going on. For some reason, someone was trying to split the team, and then keep us apart. I reached the bottom where Dr. Hall had written a hasty note.
"Though I was strictly prohibited from showing you this, I feel that the task force has become something I never designed for it. Everything is out of my paws. I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I'm leaving the final decision about the fate of the squad to you Kirian. What happens now is in your paws. They all trust you, and will understand and follow your decision. Good luck. I hope to see you again someday."
I read the document one more time, printed a coppy and then erased all traces of its existence. I knew what I had to do now. Dr. Hall was right. This series of missions would turn us into something we had never agreed to do. We had joined knowing we would make a difference in saving Jardinian lives. Now we would be endangering them, if not directly terminating them.
Jessica woke up and looked over at me.
"New orders?"
"In a way. Dr. Hall sent us the next phase of operations for both Blue and Red teams. I'll let you read through it and see what you think. I've already made up my mind."
I went out to the weapon racks and pulled out my sniper rifle. It was time to finish this, once and for all. I began adjusting the set up for the next mission, my mission. I heard Jessica pound her fist on a counter. She must have finished the document and came to the same conclusion I did. The door opened and I turned to see her standing there, a determined look in her eyes.
"What's the plan now Kirian?"
"We finish this. We finish this and go home. I can't make you come with me, but I could use a spotter. Are you in, or out?"
She walked over, wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed me. That was all the answer I needed.