The Psychology of a Crush
The Psychology of a Crush.
Fuck...What was with all of this noise.... Some kind of song, like a REALLY loud song. My eyelids fluttered as sleep began to subside from my consciousness. My entire body felt like a large SUV had been parked on top of me during my sleep. My furred arms refusing to accept the signals from my brain that it was time to get up. The song.... What the heck is it? It's right on the tip of my tongue but I can't place it...My eyes jolt open within milliseconds, the heavy feeling in my limbs replaced with the heart pounding realization that has now dawned upon me.
"FUCCCCCK! My classes are in the morning now!" I howled out as I flipped the covers off of my bare, furred body.
The cold morning air that settled onto my hardwood floor sending shivers up my spine as my paws contacted the freezing surface. I didn't have time to worry about literal cold paws though. Picking up my phone and pressing the power button at the bottom of the screen my fears were confirmed. The display read 10:55, also notifying me that the alarm has been going off for 30 minutes. Damn it, unless I drive like......142 miles per hour I was NOT going to be making it on time. I let out a heavy sigh, my stomach almost deflating with the amount of air I pushed out of my lungs. Quickly, I grabbed a pair of khaki jeans from my dresser along with a fresh pair of underwear and a random black base layer shirt from my top drawer. I made my way out of my bedroom, walking through the living room of my small 2-bedroom house in nothing but a pair of loosely fit boxers (Not having a roommate DOES have its positives). After a couple seconds of waiting for the water to warm. I was in the shower, the running water doing wonders for waking me up more. I was already completely wet though by the time I realized I was out of fur shampoo though. Having to settle for simply washing the sweat, dirt and musk out of my fur with a regular bar of soap. The warm water was supremely relaxing though as the soap ran off of my body. The liquid ran over the top of my sheath, the tip of my manhood slipping out of its furry home slightly. Having to actively concentrate on not becoming aroused right now turned into my priority however. I could not afford the time for a "quick" jerk AT ALL. I shut the warm water off, drying my fur with a towel hanging off the wall. I stopped for a minute in front of the mirror, in the steamed-up glass I was just barely able to make out my grey body. Honestly, I wasn't bad looking at all. My bone structure itself was extremely sturdy, I took after my dad in that respect. My naturally wide shoulders and masculine canine muzzle contributed to the commanding air I could have (When I am not splaying my ears for even 5 seconds). The rest of my body wasn't exactly what you would call up to body building standards though. I had a decent amount of muscle on my frame with my biceps matching well with my wide shoulders and my pectorals just barely defined in a tight shirt. Owed to my time spent in high school football years back. The muscle however, was starting to be covered up by the pudge I had going on. Since I stopped exercising, my diet has started catching up to me. I didn't have a typical "belly" or anything, but I was certainly gaining a little bit of fluff. If I'm honest though I didn't completely mind the extra fluff here and there, I thought it made me look homely. Still, I was acutly aware of social expectations today, so often I would be reluctant to pull my shirt off in locker rooms. Despite not really looking particularly "fat" in the traditional sense. My body was covered in a pattern typical of German shepherds. However, unusually, my fur was a light grey color as opposed to the traditional golden/brown coat of my breed. My head fur was the same color as my body fur, starting to come just barely into my eyes with its length_. I might need a haircut soon_. My chest was covered in a thick white fur coat, owing to the husky side of my heritage. My eyes also reflecting that side of my family. My left eye was a deep ice blue with occasional splotches of grey. My right eye however, was a somewhat unusual light grey, matching my fur nicely. I was glad I got my mom's unusual fur and eye coloring though, made me look somewhat unique. I already looked so much like my dad in every other respect, including my height of 6'2. After admiring myself in the mirror I opened the drawer and furiously started scrubbing my sharp fangs with my toothbrush.
Within the next few minutes my entire outfit was hastily slipped over my still slightly damp fur. A snow jacket sloppily slipped into, a pair of simple Converse attached to my paws for a little added protection and a scarf slung around my neck as I stepped out my front door into the snowy landscape. Trudging down the snow-covered walkway leading up to my house I pressed the unlock button on my 12-year-old black Audi S4 Avant before practically leaping into the driver's seat. With the car now started I was rubbing my paws together to create some type of warmth while the engine warmed up. The whole process made even worse since I had to step back out into the snow to push the excess snow off my windows. God, even being a fairly thick, furred guy the weather in my town was still fucking freezing to me. Doesn't get down to 9 degrees in Texas, that's for sure, I though internally. Making my way back around to the driver's side I sat back down in the heated seat, instantly glad to be back in a warm environment. I looked down at the time which now read 11:12 before placing my car in reverse gear.
"Welp...Still only 12 minutes past 11.... Late on the first day, this will look good." I sighed in a gruff and still groggy voice as I gently reversed before turning my car around and driving down my long snowy driveway and towards town. I Pushed the play button on my car's radio system, letting the cabin be filled with an upbeat soft rock song. Gotta love those Bose speakers....
The drive went by fairly smooth, despite the roads where I live not being snow plowed yet. I made it to my university parking lot only 20 minutes after the time I was already supposed to be in my Psych class. The whole ordeal was made worse since all the parking places near the science building were already taken. Forcing me to park in the upper overflow parking lot. With the clock continuing to work against me I quickly took my Psychology book out and swung my back pack over my shoulder, jogging to the front entrance of the building. After running across the entirety of the large parking lot I was almost out of breath by the time I reached the two front doors, stumbling lazily into the building. I barely had time to move a couple feet in the door when I came into contact with a wall of fur and muscle. I let out a labored "OOF" before being deflected back onto my ass, my book sliding across the floor. Bringing myself back up onto my paws I rubbed my butt, a steady throbbing pain now being sent across my body. As I looked up to see who I ran into though my eyes widened once I made eye contact with the individual. My ears almost immediately being pinned against my head and my tail threatening to go between my legs. Standing in front of me was a HUGE polar bear. His face, typical of ursine species, was wide, extremely heavy and masculine looking. He was thick in every manner of the word, his arms like barrels as he stood in front of me, arms crossed. He had on some kind of football hoodie so it's safe to assume he was a lineman or something for the school team. He had a frown transfixed on his face.
"Watch where the fuck you're going dog. I'd hate to have to teach you a lesson in manners." He practically growled the last word as he leaned in closer to me.
"L-listen, I'm just in kind of a hurry. I wasn't trying to cause trouble or nothin' man. Sorry I ran into ya'." It took a monumental feet of ear control, but I actually managed to bring my ears back up in a small display of confidence.
"Well, COUNTRY boy. You might not be trying to cause trouble but you touch me again and ill-"He was now fully growling the words at me as he poked his fat index claw into my chest, inciting a slight growl out me as he did. Why the fuck are you trying to antagonize him?! He's at least a couple inches taller than you and probably like 150 pounds heavier! His sentence, and response to my behavior, was interrupted by a new voice behind him though. Deep and baritone but with a slight hint of concern, weirdly. The bear stopped poking me and turned around to face the noise.
"He said that he was sorry Travis, lay off already." The voice sounded like it had a slight Hispanic accent, laced with a variety of emotions. As I peeked past the bear's large frame I saw another canine, like myself. He was a Doberman by the looks of it, not much shorter than the bear in height, which was surprising for his breed. He was certainly more toned than the bear though, his chiseled muzzle flowed down the rest of his visage and into a more tightly fitting football hoodie than what the bear was wearing. His sleeves were rolled up most of the way on his forearms, giving a great view of his dark black and brown furred arms. His strength was apparent even from the tiny view I had. His right ear flicked in annoyance as his gaze met that of the polar bear's, transfixing the ursine with a cold glare. After a small staring contest, the bear grunted and turned towards the front doors, somewhat annoyingly grazing my shoulder with his and pushing me aside as he opened the two glass doors and exited the building.
"Whatever man. Take the assholes side." He whispered under his breath as he passed.
I glared at the back of the bears head until he left the lobby. My ears twitched slightly, betraying my currently angry mood, until I heard heavy footsteps behind me. Once I turned around I was greeted by the Doberman. His muzzle curled into a dopey, but friendly smile. He held my psychology book in his paw, extending his appendage in front of himself as he presented me with the object. I reached my own paw out and gently took the book from his grasp, the text easily gliding from his possession to mine. Despite my somewhat tall height I still felt a little short compared to him. He probably only had a couple inches on me, but I suppose his extremely wide, muscled shoulders and vast frame contributed to the feeling I had about him being larger. He must work out or something too, because even with a hoodie on he still looked like stud-ly muscle dog. He gave another warm smile as he looked down to me slightly, seeming like he was about to say something. I was the one to speak first though.
"Hey uh....Thanks for ya' know, helpin' a brother out." I said that in the shakiest voice I probably could have. My ears unknown to me pinned against my head again with the return of my insecurity. Strangely enough though, he just gave an amused smile and cocked his head to the right slightly.
"Yeah, for sure. It was no problem at all man." He said with a warm smile. "Listen though, I'm sorry that Travis was acting like such an ass. I just want you to know that he isn't usually like that. He's just going through a lot of personal shit right now."
"Oh, well I mean shit... I kinda feel a little bad for just bumpin' into him then" I admitted as my tail drooped slightly lower.
He just chuckled and shook his head. "Eh it's not really too much of an issue, he'll get over it fairly quickly..." His eyes opened slightly wider, as if coming to a sudden realization before he held out a paw to me. "Oh! Jeez, kind of rude of me. Name's Hector it's a pleasure to meet you uh...."
I quickly grasped his strong paw, noticing the firm yet gentle grasp as he engulfed my own and moved his arm up and down. "It's Tanner. Nice to meet you Hector."
After the gentle handshake he removed his hand and shook his wide muzzle once more, chuckling as he did so. "You can just call me Tor if you want, most people do, especially friends". He gave another charming smile that sent a wave of happiness across my body. My tail flicking slightly in response. "Hector just makes me feel super old, you know?" He chuckled and let his arms drop to his side. His shoulders relaxing as he kept speaking to me, I found myself doing the same.
"Well Hec- I mean, Tor. I don't wanna to cut the conversation off or anything but I kinda of have to get to class. I'm already running late."
He gave a amused laugh and gestured to my text book with his index claw, causing me to turn my head to the side slightly in confusion. "You wouldn't happen to be heading to Mr. Larks Psych class, right?"
I raised one of my eyebrows inquisitively. "Uh, yeah actually. I am."
He made a tsk sound with his tongue and shook his head. "I just came from his class, he finished going over the syllabus with everyone and let the class out early".
"Oh fuckkkkkk. He's probably going to drop me." I let out a labored sigh mixed with a slight whine at this information. I saw a slight flicker of concern in his eyes for a brief second.
"Oh lo seinto.... You could always try just talking to him? He should still be in the classroom, there were a couple students staying after to ask questions." His deep voice was methodic and extremely comforting to listen to, his slight accent just accentuating the feeling. Focus tanner, you can't crush on every straight jock you see.
"Yeah! Your right! Listen, thank you so much for all your help Tor! I should go try to salvage this situation though." I turned to walk past the Doberman, giving a slight wave but turning back for a second. "Maybe I'll see you around?"
His ears perked up at the question and his smile returned. "Yeah for sure! See you around dawg." He gave his own wave and started to turn to leave but also swung back around quickly, holding his index claw out as if he just remembered something he had forgotten. "Oh! Derecha! The professor said we should probably find study partners for tests and quizzes and stuff. Travis isn't in psych this term so uh.... Did you, want to maybe study together?" Intriguingly he scratched the back of his neck in a somewhat nervous gesture. Maybe he's just shy?
"Yeah! Sure! Here give me a second." I reached into my pocket and grabbed my smartphone, my tailing wagging behind me slightly as I exchanged numbers with him. We both placed our phones back in our pockets, trading warm smiles and finally heading separate directions. My tail continued to sway idly behind me as I walked down the deserted hallways of my new university. Even though my day didn't start off exactly how I planned, at least I made a new friend. Moving states might not be the worse after all. He's pretty good looking too...._I felt my checks flush with heat as I thought about it. _Yeah, no he's good looking. If I hang out with him ill look more attractive to girls as well by association, right? It's simple Psychology. Lying to myself wasn't really beneficial but I couldn't really handle another meltdown about my actually sexuality right now. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I continued down the hallway to my psychology classroom.
My professor did eventually agree to speak to me. I explained the situation to him, lying and saying that the snow plows didn't get to my house in time, preventing me from getting out of my driveway. The older mountain goat simply looked at me with a pitiful gaze, shaking his head idly. Eventually though, he did agree not to drop me for nonattendance and handed me a printed course syllabus. who even uses physical copies anymore? I took the paper and accepted the hit to my employability grade, thankful I wasn't dropped.
The rest of my day wasn't really that eventful. My other classes were really much of the same. Just a whole lot of syllabus explanation and a variety of name games to force us to socialize with our peers. I didn't really mind all of the social interaction but almost all of the smiles I gave were at least a little bit faked. It felt like I was the black sheep of the herd here (Not to be speciesist or anything, it's just an expression bro). The most annoying aspect of all of these games though was the almost constant comments on my "accent". All of these west coast furs are acting like I was a cowboy or something. By the end of the day in my criminal courts class my smile had slowly been eroded into a slight grin. My energy for dealing with all the questions and automatic assumptions fading fast. It was especially hard with my current group. The male ram who's name I found out was josh and Lexie, a female lynx, seemed to pick up on my growing annoyance and started friendly conversation on another subject. A vixen in the same group though, Rebecca, seated directly across from me in the circle just kept asking and asking.... She even gave me a series of suspiciously flirtatious winks. My tight fitting black long sleeve probably not helping my whole position with the her at the moment either.
"So, do you know how to shoot a shotgun?"
"Yea."
"Do you know how to ride a feral horse?"
"Ya'."
"You have a pair of those SUPER cute boots?"
I gave a quick sigh. "Naw. Not right now."
She wrinkled her muzzle as if confused for a moment before jumping back into it.
"Do you drive a pickup tru-."
Thankfully her last question was cut off by the professor giving us a final message before dismissing the class. I took the opportunity to evacuate the premises before the vixen ended up holding me hostage with more questions, giving a short and sweet goodbye to Josh and Lexie before putting on my snow jacket and hurrying out the door. The drive back to my home outside of the town was significantly easier than the morning, owed to the fact that the powder had been plowed off of the road and a significant amount of the packed snow had melted. I pulled into the driveway, parked my car and sleepily shambled into my house. I lazily shed my snow jacket, khaki pants, leaving me in just my tight boxer briefs and black base layer top, throwing my clothing onto the living room couch. I collapsed on my bed and deflated my lungs in an extremely vocal sigh of frustration. I would have probably drifted off into sleep but my slowly closing eyes jerked back open to the notification sound of a text arriving on my phone. Grunting in slight annoyance, completely expecting it to be yet another message from my mother. I shimmied myself through the living room and to the pocket of my khaki pants. Taking out my phone and raising it in front of me to view the message.
Messages:
Tor (Hector)-
Hey amigo! Hope I'm not bothering you or something in class. I just wanted to let you know that Professor Lark just posted on the website about a book introductory quiz on Friday. Did you maybe want to get some studying done on that? I could really use the help if I'm honest... ????
Despite the exhausting day I'd had the little text he sent caused my muzzle to shift into a slight grin. My tail once again betraying my mood and waging behind me. I quickly typed out a message to him.
Hey man! Yeah, I'd totally be down to get a little studying done. Sorry, my week's pretty packed until Wednesday...What time would work best for you though? Oh, and I'm home so don't worry about the time lol.
I was somewhat surprised when the message was almost instantly read and the 3 dots showing he was typing showed up.Dang, quick responder. I quickly exited out of the message's app, not wanting to seem like I was waiting for his text. The notification came only moments later.
Tor (Hector)-
It's alright my week is pretty packed too. How about Thursday evening? I get off of practice around 5 that day ... so does around 6 work for you?
After about 5 Mississippi's I opened the messages back up and texted him back. Sitting on my couch as I did. Slightly chilled by the cold leather, but nonetheless unfazed as I eyed my phone intently.
Yeah, 6 should work out perfectly. I only have two classes in the morning that day. Gives me plenty of time to do my homework
His response came quickly again, this time I didn't even have time to exit the app.
Tor (Hector)-
Awesome! Well I'll see you on Thursday then. We can meet at my apartment if you want. It's the campus owned ones right down the street from the football fields.
I typed out my response at the same pace he was. It's doesn't seem to matter much anymore.
Sounds like a plan my man! I'm looking forward to it!
_ _
Fuck! "Sounds like a plan my man?" what are you, 12?! That was wayyyy to many exclamation marks for normal bro conversation! His message came just as fast as the others.
Tor (Hector)-
I look forward to it too! See you then amigo! Or you know, unless we run into each other again. Good night amigo.????
Goodnight Tor! ????
I held my phone close to my chest for a while as a warm feeling overcame my body, it felt nice to be talking to such a nice dude. I honestly wasn't expecting to be this social for my first week. I had sort of hoped that I would fly under the radar for another week. I was glad things worked out this way though. I Stumbled off of the couch and weakly shuffled back to my bedroom, laying down on my bed. Well, you got "plans" for Thursday at least. Now you just need to survive college calculus tomorrow.... With those thoughts sinking in I slid the alarm button on my phone to the on position and let the heavy sensation around my eyes overcome the resistance of my muscles. The lids gently closing and the sensation of sleep falling over the rest of my body.