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My Name is Beautiful

By Andrew Todachinnie

The fantastic journey of a young anthropomorphic fox on his quest for self-discovery.

Chapter One

This is Home

The sky began to brighten, turning gold and blue as the sun made its way to the horizon. The songs of distant birds filled the air as the earth came alive. At first glance the land resembled a turbulent sea, but further examination revealed rolling hills covered with stands of pinion and juniper trees. Their steppes were surrounded by sage brush, as well as a variety of grasses and forbs. The hilltops are the first to receive the morning light as the sun overcame the horizon. Small valleys snake their way between the hills where mud huts, called Hogans, laid nestled below. Each with its own swath of land where corrals and shade houses stood. Smoke rose from fires burning in pits near each dwelling as the inhabitants started cooking their morning meals.

On the outskirts of this sleepy little community stood a Hogan of special interest. Light made its way through the doorway and brightened its interior. Although from the outside these Hogans appear circular, a step inside showed flat walls of stacked logs forming an octagon with a ceiling that tapers inward. The top featured an opening for ventilation and on the ground, in the center, was a fire pit with clay dishes on one side. Blankets cover the ground along the edges. A variety of tools and jewelry were carefully placed against the walls.

Sunlight poured through the doorway until it rested on a lump on the opposite side which groaned and tossed uncomfortably. A call echoed through the cool morning air and into the hut. The lump rose from his bed, walked to the entrance and into the warm morning sunlight.

His conflicting demeanor causes confusion, leading people to form misconceptions. At first glance he seems like a clean, confident, demanding, domineering fox. But his smile, along with his soulful emerald eyes, convey a strong sense of empathy and love. Others might assume that given his shiny clean fur, he is the kind of fox that hates anything that might get him dirty. However, the young fox is considered irreplaceable when it comes to his work ethic, often times outperforming the adults. There are still chores he dislikes but he does them anyway without complaint or reservation. Despite his appearance he is surprisingly strong and has proven himself on several occasions. Yet, his slim physique causes members of the community to jokingly worry about him being lost in a gust of wind.

The young fox stretched, yawning as he did so, his fur shone red in the morning light. His tail curled slightly as he milked this stretch for all its worth. He bent over to touch his toes and dug his claws into the dirt, the smell of it rising to his face. Straightening himself, he looked out at the horizon and breathed in the fresh morning air.

"Goooood Morning!" The little fox was so startled he fell flat on his face as if the salutation was a force of its own. A taller female Gray Fox appeared in the doorway. Her peppered fur lacks the same sheen as her, now horizontal, brother. But as far as Gray Foxes are concerned, she is very attractive. Her perky attitude makes up for her slightly annoying tendencies.

She looked down at him with a quizzical expression. "Nizhoni?" He grumbled at her from the dirt. "Are you ok?" She asked and received another grumble in response. She smiled and happily said "Ok great!", stepping over him to head towards the fire pit where two older and greyer Gray Foxes were seated, preparing the morning meal. Large logs formed a circle of seats around the pit. The pit itself was surrounded by a thick clay wall, about knee height, which served as a cook top.

Nizhoni got up and dusted himself off as he walked. The old male fox was known as Songaa among the adults and father or grandpa among the youth, looked up at him as he approached and nodded. Feeling annoyed that his morning stretch was nullified by his sister's antics, Nizhoni nodded back and grumbled "Morning."

The old female smiled and with one hand passed them each some fire cooked bread and meat while cradling a tiny cub, "Good morning little ones. The corn meal is ready whenever you like". Her voice was rough yet caring. To other adults she was known as Waneta but to the younger foxes she's either mother or grandma.

The young female smiled and waved at the little cub "Good morning Aditsan" The cub smiled back and cooed.

An outsider might look at this scene, a family enjoying a morning meal, and see Nizhoni as nothing more than a visitor. His bizarre appearance compared to the gray foxes around him. His shiny red fur stands out like an apple among limes. However, if one were to ask a member of the community they would gladly point out "Nizhoni is part of the family and a blessing to the community". And yet, there are some who would say the same, but with a tone of resentment.

Songaa started to speak, his voice was monotone and low, "I see Aleshanee managed to startle you. How was your fall?"

Nizhoni opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by Aleshanee, "oh dad don't rub it in."

Without saying anything Nizhoni started tearing into the ribs his mother had handed him. He ripped the mutton off the bones until they were left completely clean. His mother always gave him ribs. She knew how much he enjoyed pulling the meat off. Although to him it was more about their unique flavor, and less about how to eat them.

He noticed his father watching him, which made him a little uncomfortable. "What, do I have something in my teeth?" He groaned, not really feeling up to his family's harassment.

"Let's not tease him too much my love." Said their mother tenderly.

Although it's common practice to tease, harass and playfully "give everyone a hard time" within the community, it seemed they got a significant kick out of targeting Nizhoni. Often times they claimed their teasing was just because they love him so much. But Nizhoni figured it was because of how different he is, but that didn't bother him much.

Their father sat up a little more and his dominance was made clear. "Actually," He said authoritatively, and Nizhoni's ears dropped as he prepared for his reprimand, "do you know what makes today so special?"

Waneta smiled to herself as she began to feed Aditsan. Nizhoni shrugged, more clueless than usual. With a small sigh the old fox elaborated with a smile on his face, "You have grown into a strong young man."

Aleshanee interrupted in a low voice, "yeah maybe if you squint at him."

The old fox smacked the back of her head, "He's beaten you plenty of times."

She whimpered and scooted towards Nizhoni. It's true that during playful sparing matches Nizhoni always came out on top. However, Aleshanee never minded losing to her younger brother.

Songaa resumed, rushing through his planned speech "Anyway, the singer and I have decided that today we will have a sweat to commemorate your fifteenth spring in this world."

There was a strong feeling of what seemed like pride or excitement building up inside Nizhoni. But before he was able to identify these feelings a squealing older sister threw her arms around him, knocking him backwards.

"Oh my goodness, this is amazing! I'm so happy for you little brother!" She cried excitedly.

The old foxes chuckled as Nizhoni's legs kick the air as he attempted to right himself. "Now as soon as you're done we have stuff to do. The Hogan needs to be patched on the west side. And the sheep need to be fed..."

"Wait," He struggled back up with little help from his sister, who had already gotten back up on her log "Is this a joke?" Aleshanee looked over at their parents wondering the same thing.

His father looked at him, tilting his head curiously "What do you mean?"

"Well... it's just that..." He hesitated, thinking back to when they celebrated Aleshanee's fifteenth year. He could remember other celebrations for girls, but he couldn't remember any celebrations for the boys in the community. In fact, he had assumed there weren't any.

His mother smiled at him, "Dear child, you don't need to worry. When a girl grows to a woman we gather as a community for the ceremony. But as far as the boys are concerned, it's a family affair."

"It is a private matter and is sacred for each family," his father added.

Thinking that was the end of it Aleshanee hugged her brother again, "Oh I'm so excited for you!" She exclaimed, squeezing the air out of him.

"But..." He gasped.

His father raised his hand to interrupt him "Put away your doubts my son" Nizhoni looked down at the ground and his sister released him. He didn't feel so sure this ceremony was for him. Although he never said anything, Nizhoni always felt he didn't belong. Not because the other foxes treated him differently, but because of his unique appearance. His ears lowered as he looked at his feet brooding.

His mother lifted his chin and her amber eyes examined his green ones, "You are our son." She smiled at him and pulled him into a tight embrace. They were soon joined by the others and Nizhoni couldn't help but smile. Aditsan gurgled with his foot in his mouth, oblivious to the group hug that surrounded him and his older brother. Finally, Nizhoni was able to dismiss his doubts.

"Alright then." Songaa broke away from the hug, "we need to finish the chores before it gets too late. I will go meet with the singer and get the shade house ready for tonight's sweat."

"Alright you two, go do as your father said."

"I call feeding the sheep!" And just like that Aleshanee was off with a whisk of her fluffy grey tail.

"I got the Hogan." Nizhoni took off to grab a pot to collect water from the river "I'll be right back!" He shouted back to his parents as he ran off with a big grin. The morning went by faster than usual. Nizhoni smiled and hummed to himself as he worked. Even while cleaning the corral, which was his least favorite chore.

After the sun had reached its highest point in the sky the old fox called Nizhoni to return to the Hogan. He came running, overflowing with excitement. His father and mother stood near the Hogan talking. There was something bundled in Waneta's arm, which Nizhoni recognizes as his younger brother.

"I'm here dad." He peaked through the blanket to say hi to his brother, "Hey Aditsan, guess what I get to do!" He smiled as the small cub grabbed hold of his figure, squeezing tightly.

"Midday has passed. You should start to gather the firewood for your ceremony. Go and collect twelve logs from male trees."

Somewhat confused, "But how do I know which ones are male?" Nizhoni asked.

The old fox reached down and placed his hands on Nizhoni's shoulders, "Try asking them." then turned him around and sent him off with a pat on the rump. Nizhoni ran towards the trees, his mother shouted, "Try to be home as quick as possible! I don't want you boys up too late tonight!"

As she watched her son streak up the hill, his fur flashing in the bright sunlight, she couldn't help feeling uneasy. "Songaa," She pressed against her husband "Are we sure about this? What if he isn't able to collect the right logs?"

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm not so sure how to tell them apart either, but through trial and error he'll get it right. Just as we all do."

Nizhoni wasted no time and worked quickly to accomplish his task. He carefully made his selections based on his gut feeling, supposing his father's advice was only a joke. After having collected the necessary logs he felt confident in his selections and prepared to return home. He lashed his cargo together and slung it over his shoulder. The load was large enough one might assume it was too much for the small fox to handle. And yet, despite his size, he could manage such tasks with little effort. This comes as no surprise to those within their small community. Ever since he was a small cub he had been famed for his remarkable strength and people would occasionally set out to test him. They quickly discovered his limits, but he still earned the title of strongest cub in the community.

It's important to point out that Nizhoni never sought out conflict and was rarely the first to strike. He preferred to talk things out and avoid physical conflict. When he was very young (he had only been in the community for five springs), a group of older cubs confronted him on his way home from collecting water about his unusual appearance. No one had every seen a fox like him with such bright and shiny fur. They assumed he didn't belong with the rest of them. They accused him of being cursed and that he would bring bad luck to the community. They went so far as to wrestle him to the ground and tie him up like a sheep about to be butchered. They took his pot, emptied the water all over him and smashed it on the ground. They all laughed as he struggled against the ropes, with tears welling up in his eyes.

That was the first time he remembered hearing a voice that didn't seem to belong to anyone else, yet it sounded familiar: "remember those who love you and break your bonds". Obediently he thought about his father, sister, and mother. The ropes seemed to turn soft and with a solid pull Nizhoni was able to break free. His assailants ran off screaming. Nizhoni hurled several rocks as they fled, angry at them for behaving so hatefully.

Once they were out of sight he collapsed on the ground and cried, he cried into his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Once he finished and feeling like he was being watched, he looked up and noticed a large stone laying several paces away. As he wondered how he hadn't seen it before, it moved closer to him completely unaided. Nizhoni continued to stare at it while it rolled closer. It stopped in front of him and he waited for something else to happen.

Finally, the familiar voice returned, "Are you alright little one?" The voice didn't seem to come from the stone. It was as if he wasn't hearing with his physical ears, but his spirit ear.

He continued to stare at the stone in a state of bewilderment. The rock tilted, much like what one does when confused or concerned. "Can you hear me young one?" Nizhoni nodded.

"Good. Well you had better head home." Nizhoni nodded again. He didn't know how else to respond. He knew what was happening wasn't normal, but he felt a level of comfort that he hadn't experienced before. So he got up and ran around the stone, stopping on the other side to see if maybe someone was behind it. Nothing was there.

It wasn't much later when those boys tried to ambush him again. Even though the group had shrunk dramatically to only 3 large individuals, they were still determined to cause Nizhoni pain. On this occasion they caught him while he was feeding the family sheep and began beating him with sticks. Nizhoni cried for help and his father came running. One boy managed to smack him across the face, leaving a substantial bruise. This time Nizhoni struck back, nocking one of his attackers almost ten feet back. But before the boys could run off, Nizhoni's father scruffed two of them by the neck while the other remained on the ground in a daze.

Later that night, and at Songaa's request, a public meeting was held to discuss the boys' actions and they were each punished by the community. The elders made it clear that treating any member of the community in such a way would disrupt the harmony and risk a falling out with the Holy Ones. One by one the boys apologized, including the ones from the first attack. From then on, no one ever challenged Nizhoni's right as a member of the community.

Nizhoni didn't worry much about being attacked again, he generally gave people the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, his father encouraged him to remain vigilant and would occasionally surprise him with playful attacks. But he never forgot those events. How he was able to break free, and nock one attacker off his feet. Most of all, he couldn't stop thinking about that rock and the voice he heard.

Nizhoni heard something moving and turned around to see who was following him. No one was there. He set his bundle of logs down and listened closely. Then with a sigh of relief he called out, "You can come out now. I know it's you."

A young Gray Fox came out from behind a pinyon tree with his hands behind his back. "What do you want T'iis?" This was the last thing Nizhoni wanted right now. This was the fox who managed to hit Nizhoni across the face years ago and the same fox he had sent flying back with a single hit. T'iis may have been put in his place, and yet he still harasses Nizhoni whenever he can.

"I just heard about your special day." T'iis had also gone through a growth spurt and now seemed confident enough to challenge anyone. He had always been bigger than Nizhoni, which encouraged him to 'take matters into his own hands' and get rid of this blemish in the community.

"I see. I don't think you're hear to congratulate me, are you?" Nizhoni asked sarcastically.

"Actually" T'iis said maliciously, revealing the thick stick he had behind his back. "I wanted to remind you, you're a curse waiting to happen."

There was a swaying among the trees, words flooded Nizhoni's mind. "His place is clear. His place is here."

"Yeah, don't you have ears?" Nizhoni snapped, forgetting T'iis couldn't hear the voice.

T'iis assumed he meant what the elders had told him so long ago. He didn't even notice the plant life moving without the wind, "The elders have been wrong before you know." He began to move in on his prey.

"Unless you want me to turn that stick of yours into a second tail for you, I suggest you back off." Nizhoni confidently lifted his heavy bundle over his shoulder, ready to chuck it at him if he came any closer. He knew T'iis wouldn't try anything, in spite of his desire to cause trouble he was all talk and no action these days. But he still liked to show off his strength to remind him how he got nocked on his back so long ago.

It worked. T'iis stopped and looked at the bundle of logs, taking in its size and weight. He realized that despite the increase in his own size he was obviously nowhere near as strong as Nizhoni. "Fine," he spat, "but when something bad happens to hurt the community, the elders will realize I was right." and he stormed off, calling back over his shoulder "By the way, those aren't all male logs." He walked away through the trees.

Nizhoni ignored him and set his bundle down again, feeling depressed. After all this time T'iis was still stuck on the idea that Nizhoni didn't belong. A nearby sage brush began to shift unnaturally, and calming voice floated into his mind. "Are you all right?"

He turned to face the swaying shrub, its fragrance wafting in the air, "Yeah I'm fine." He said with a sigh.

"You don't seem fine. Please, have a seat little fox." The earth rose up creating a little seat for him.

Nizhoni sat down next to the shrub and one of its branches touched him on the shoulder, "Y_ou are still full of conflict._"

"I'm sorry." He took a deep breath, "I shouldn't have behaved so poorly. It was disrespectful." Nizhoni had been raised like any other fox in the community. He was taught to reverence the elements and that the Holy Ones may choose to withhold their blessings if he behaved poorly.

"You were right to defend yourself, you did not disappoint me. However, he was 'unknowingly' right about one thing." The brush began to stiffen.

"What?" He was worried about what the sage might be insinuating.

"Ask the trees." The shrub suddenly became stiff once more.

Nizhoni looked at his collection of logs and grumbled, "Ugh, I thought dad was joking." Referring to what his father said about asking the trees about their gender. Despite his initial frustration, Nizhoni took special care in asking each log its gender. He found four logs that claimed to be female and went back up the hill to replace them, politely asking each tree as he went.

Back at the Hogan, Nizhoni's father was sitting next to the fire talking to a very old and very grey fox. The sun was about to touch the horizon, which turned everything a little more golden as the air began to cool.

"Do you think he got lost" Songaa asked the older fox, looking towards the hills.

The old fox chuckled, his voice was soft, yet gravely. "When has he ever gotten lost?" It was true, even as a tiny cub Nizhoni was always able to find his way. He had an uncanny ability to remember directions. "Don't worry so much Songaa. I'm sure he's on his way back now."

"I'm not worried," he retorted defensively. The old fox raised his eyebrows at him. "I just expected to come back with a portion... maybe he's struggling to find enough logs."

Finally, midway up the hill, they spotted a glimmer of red through the trees as Nizhoni made his way back home. "You see?" the old fox remarked, pausing as he looked at Nizhoni in the distance. "What a beautiful coat he has," the setting sun reflected off Nizhoni's fur making him shine in the distance "No wonder the girls speak of him so fondly."

It was no joke that Nizhoni was the one male the girls in the community admired most. In fact, with the news of his ceremony having been made known to the community, there was a renewed competition among the eligible girls as to who would be first to attempt to claim him.

"Yes, beautiful. But..." he turned to face the old fox, "Satinka, is he going to have to live all his days with foxes speaking ill of him behind his back."

"Their concerns are baseless." He said disapprovingly, "You know what he is and what is expected of him." he pointed at Songaa accusingly. He has been in denial about his son's fate ever since Satinka first suggested it to him.

Ignoring his friend, Songaa looked back to watch his son's approach, who had made his way through the trees and was now weaving through the sage brush. His large bundle made him look extra small in comparison "My heart has its doubts old friend."

"You seem more fearful than doubtful." They fell silent as Nizhoni came within earshot.

The young fox dropped his cargo, which fell heavily on the ground, and he ran to hug the old fox. "Grandpa!" he exclaimed as he jumped into his arms, "It's so good to see you."

"Hello, my grandson." Satinka hugged him tightly, "It seems you've grown a little since last I've seen you."

Nizhoni looked around for his mother and sister "Where's mom and Aleshanee?" He thought this was going to be a family affair and was looking forward to having them all together.

"It's going to be just us three. Women generally don't attend this ceremony. Besides they need to stay with your brother." Nizhoni appeared crestfallen.

Satinka held the little foxes face in his hands and lifted his chin so their eyes met. "My grandson. Your love is something we should all emulate." He brushed Nizhoni's fur past his ears, "Be proud of who you are."

He looked down at the bundle of logs. "Nizhoni, is this all twelve logs your father sent you for?"

"Um yeah, it is." He said hesitantly, worried that he might have done something wrong.

"Remarkable." Satinka marveled, turning to Songaa, "The boys' strength and perception is extraordinary." Nizhoni's ears drooped a little. It made him uncomfortable when others talked about him with such esteem. Especially after his run in with T'iis.

"You have done well my son. No fox has ever collected all of the wood in one trip." He smiled at him in attempt to cheer him up. Although Nizhoni hadn't expressed his discomfort in such situations, his father seemed to know.

"Yes, in fact, it took your father six trips. Not including the trips he had to make because he kept bringing back logs from female trees," Satinka teased.

Songaa pestered back "Hey! Don't make me tell him about the issues you had."

"Did you forget to ask the trees grandpa?" Nizhoni asked.

"Oh, did he tell you that?" Satinka chuckled, "It's tradition to tell young cubs to ask the trees but they seldom bother. Did you ask the trees young one?"

"Well not at first but the sage told me..." He stopped himself. He rarely mentioned his experiences with these disembodied being due to his dislike of different treatment.

Songaa laughed awkwardly and put a hand on Nizhoni's shoulder "Oh enough of this. Let's get in the shade house and light the fire." He pulled him towards the shade house. "We've got the rest of the fire wood and everything is all set up. Remember this is how our family has chosen to perform this ceremony..." His voice trailed off.

Satinka grabbed the bundle and noticed not a single piece appeared female. "Simply remarkable." he said to himself as he looked up at the small fox while his father took him towards the shade house.

Nizhoni looked back over his shoulder and noticed Satinka by the bundle. Somewhat embarrassed he ran back. "Sorry I almost forgot." he slung the load over his shoulder and jogged back to his father.

"What a beautiful fox" Satinka said to himself.

The shade house was made up of vertical logs that locked together with the logs that formed the flat roof. Mud and bark filled the gaps, which helped maintain control over the interior climate. At the top was a hole for smoke to escape. Inside the shade house there was a pile of stones in the middle of the north wall and the floor was covered with colorful rugs with various patterns and designs. Songaa sat his son in front of the stones and to the right. He then took his seat behind Nizhoni against the east wall.

Satinka entered, covered the entrance with sheep skin, and sat across from Nizhoni "Are you ready my grandson?" Nizhoni nodded "Good. Please light the fire."

There were two stones lying next to him which he reached out for, his hands shaking. He picked them up and turned towards the pile of stones where he could see logs and bark laying beneath them. He struck the two stones against each other and a torrent of sparks fell on the bark. He leaned forward and blew until flames sprung up and the wood began to crackle and burn.

"Very good young one." Satinka added wood from Nizhoni's bundle and tossed bundles of sage and herbs onto the stones, praying out loud as he worked. He began to sing and chant as smoke and heat filled the shade house. His father splashed water on the stones and Nizhoni's mind started to wander as he drifted off in the steam.

The sun had set hours ago and the sky was now dark, the full moon shone over the valley. Inside the Hogan, Aleshanee was laying on her stomach working on a necklace with Aditsan next to her in a cradle board. Her mother was near the fire weaving a blanket.

"How's this mom?" She held up her work proudly. A beaded necklace with turquoise inlayed into silver blossoms, shone in the firelight. "I think I'm finally done."

Her mother turned and smiled with pride as she looked at her daughter's handiwork "It's wonderful. I'm sure he's going to love it."

"What do you think Aditsan?" She held it over the cub, smiling. Aditsan reached for the glimmering jewelry with wide eyes. "Looks like he likes it too."

Aleshanee had been working on this necklace for almost a year now. Anytime traders would pass through, or when a fox left the community to trade, she would ask for silver. She would trade beads, food, wool and other items for raw ore. She had to learn to purify the ore to make it soft and easier to work. She learned how to use leather and fine clay to polish the metal, as well as the stones she had chosen to inlay. It was a labor of love for her little brother, Nizhoni.

Her mother looked towards the doorway, "Do me a favor and check outside. Tell me if they have finished out there."

Aleshanee jumped up and poked her head outside. The moon would make it easy to spot them. However, there was no one out there and she thought she could still see the faint flickering of firelight coming from the shade house.

"Looks like they should be done soon." She said reassuringly as she returned to her spot on the floor.

"I am surprised they haven't finished yet," she sounded concerned, "Satinka finished singing some time ago."

"Maybe they had trouble lighting the fire," Aleshanee said trying to be extra positive. She didn't like it when mother worried. It usually meant something bad.

"No, the song started after the fire was lit." Waneta paused looking at the doorway, "Either way, I'm sure they're fine."

She moved to the other side of the fire, which was beginning to burn low, and peered into a pot she had next to the fire. The pot was full of steaming water along with a bundle of green sticks, "But, if they don't get back soon this is going to be too strong for Nizhoni."

Everyone's ears pointed towards the door as a noise from outside abruptly broke the silence. Through the doorway Nizhoni could be seen approaching the Hogan, followed by Satinka and Songaa. All three were glistening with sweat in the moonlight and the shade house had finally gone dark. Even at night, Nizhoni's fur seemed to glow in the moonlight. Aleshanee quickly hid her work under a blanket.

"Waneta," Songaa called, announcing their return "please pour us some tea."

She took the pot from next to the fire, poured them each a cup as they entered and handed one to each of them. The two older foxes drank their tea quickly and sat on the floor resting their backs against the wall. Nizhoni sat near his sister and stared into his tea, not feeling thirsty.

Waneta looked at him concerned, "Is something wrong my child? You should drink your tea to help you recover."

He looked up at her and smiled before quietly taking a sip of tea. The room remained silent as the two women looked from Nizhoni two the older foxes against the wall, waiting for some sort of reassurance.

Songaa avoided their gaze and nudged Satinka "So I heard Yazzie had some new lambs born into his flock and I'm considering trading him for a couple. What do you think I should offer?" Satinka didn't answer. His eyes were fixed on the Red Fox.

Nizhoni finished his tea, "Mom, may I go to bed?" His voice was steady and calm and aside from his silence seemed fine.

"Uh..." She hesitated, his sudden request had caught her off guard. "Yes, my son." He got up, handed her his cup and went to his bed on the other side of the fire.

Satinka rose from his seat and moved toward the exit "Sleep well child." He shot a look at his parents and beckoned them to follow. They both stood and followed him outside.

"Aleshanee, please watch Aditsan." Said Waneta as she walked around her children.

"But..." She complained, but her mother simply scowled and pointed at her to stay.

Once they had left and were far enough away from the doorway Aleshanee walked over to her brother as he lay facing the wall. "Hey" she said quietly, as she placed her hand on his shoulder "You're really sweaty."

Nizhoni chuckled lightly "Yeah, it was pretty hot in there."

"How do you feel?" She asked.

"Actually," he sat up to face her and spoke enthusiastically, "I feel incredible. I'm just very tired." He paused and scratched his head, "All I remember is lighting the fire and Satinka singing. Then it was like I feel asleep." He smiled uncomfortably.

"Wow," she marveled sarcastically, "it must have been really boring if you fell asleep."

"Yeah," he chuckled and gave her a little push, "if I did fall asleep then why am I exhausted?"

"Maybe you were sleep walking. I've heard that some men have danced during a sweat and then forget about it the next day." Nizhoni relaxed some as she spoke. She always knew how to make him feel better.

"Anyway, get some rest little brother. We're going to have a great day tomorrow." She gently pushed him back on his bed and returned to her spot next to Aditsan. Nizhoni closed his eye and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Meanwhile, outside the Hogan the adults were gathered around the fire. They spoke in low voices, so the children wouldn't hear, but the serious tone of the conversation was enough to make anyone incredibly curious.

"Fifteen years since he came to us," Satinka raved in a hushed voice, "Fifteen years I've been telling you about his potential and now with his destiny staring you in the face you continue to deny reality!"

"He is my son and I will decide what's best for him!" Songaa began to snarl, showing his teeth. "He will live here until he dies, and his descendants will bless this land forever."

Satinka pointed his ears back and retorted, "You can't hide it anymore. I know the child can hear the spirits' voices. They stand with him and guide him day and night."

Waneta tried to calm her husband, "Please my love, you can't make this decision for him. If the Holy Ones need Nizhoni for something then you must not refuse them."

Satinka stood and growled "The boy isn't your blood. You have to yield or risk disrupting the harmony!"

"I can refuse them, and I will refuse them!" he rose up angrily, raising his voice "I will not lose another child!"

Immediately and without warning, all life from the fire disappeared and a tangible silence fell. Not even the glowing embers could be seen. They were suddenly engulfed by darkness. Then the fire was reborn, its flames turned blue and the wood crackled loudly. The flames shot above their heads and lit up the night. As suddenly is it happened the fire returned to normal and a defeated Songaa plopped down on the ground. The others remained in quiet awe as they stared into the flames which crackled in the pit as if nothing had happened.

Satinka broke the silence, "The Holy Ones will take the boy from you by force if they must. But remember their love for us runs deep. They will return him to you safe and sound and likely compensate you somehow."

Waneta joined her husband on the ground with tears rolling down her face, "Please, my love, be reasonable. Nizhoni is precious to us and I can't bear to lose him anymore than you."

Without looking at her, Songaa took his wife's hand in his and gently caressed it, "I know."

"Besides, we don't even know when the Holy Ones will need him. It could be many seasons before he may need to leave our community."

Songaa appeared relieved by this idea and sighed, "I suppose you are right. Maybe I am being too protective." he looked up at Satinka. "Old friend, if my son is needed then I won't stand in the way."

Satinka nodded and turned to leave, pausing with his back to them and his head low "For your sake, I hope the Holy Ones do not need him for many seasons. But I can't say they won't come for him..." he looked back at his friends as they sat on the ground "...like a thief in the night." He walked away leaving the couple to reflect on the night's events.

Nizhoni felt unusually energetic and the community began to notice. There was a renewed sense of wonderment regarding the red fox. On one particular occasion, as Nizhoni was returning from a trading errand, a Gray Fox by the name of Klah took Nizhoni aside and asked him to explain the importance of the field. Nizhoni smiled, thinking that Klah must just be testing him, and explained that as people of the field they needed to remember their ancestors and their coming descendants.

"But what does that have to do with the field?" Klah asked with such sincerity that Nizhoni felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"Here look at it this way," he knelt on the ground and drew a spiral in the dirt "we grow our cops in these spirals, right? We start from the east, go south, then west, then north, and then we go around again." He pointed as he spoke, bent over his drawing, "you are a field and as such your children add to the field. You grow continuously like a field."

He sat up and looked at Klah who stared back at him amazed, "I think I get it."

Nizhoni laughs and pats him on the shoulder "Well it's about time my friend! This is really basic stuff."

Klah smiled and scratched his head, "Yeah my grandpa has been trying to teach me this for as long as I can remember." He stood up and offered his hand, which Nizhoni shook "thank you."

Nizhoni watched him walk away from his spot on the ground. He wasn't sure if he should be proud that he was able to teach Klah something no one else could. Perhaps the whole thing was a set up as a test, or as a joke. It wasn't until the next evening, when his mother asked him about it, that he realized the truth behind Klah's story.

Nizhoni had just returned home from herding the sheep and his mother was waiting for him holding a colorful blanket in her arms. Apparently, Klah had been struggling to learn many different lessons and his family worried that his personal growth had ceased. Now it seems he had had a major break through and his family was so relieved they came to Songaa's and Waneta's Hogan to share their gratitude for Nizhoni's wisdom.

"They wanted to give you this." Waneta said as she proudly handed him the blanket. He reluctantly took it, it was softer and finer than anything he had ever felt. His mother hugged him tightly, hiding her tears.

Nizhoni wasn't sure how he felt about the gift. He only helped Klah because he asked, he didn't expect payment. He explained his concerns to his father who told him to graciously accept the gift and move on. This answer wasn't very satisfying for Nizhoni. But he tried to follow his advice anyway and move on.

The news about Klah's progression spread quickly and other members of the community began to seek guidance from the young fox. It became impossible for Nizhoni to leave his home without being bombarded by questions about the purpose of life and the meanings behind their own traditions. He answered every question, silenced every concern, and removed any doubts. He had no problem talking about these things, he even found joy in teaching others. The problem was the gifts the community insisted on giving him. Try as he might, he could not get them to withhold their gifts.

Waneta was finishing corralling the sheep, Aditsan playing in the dirt nearby, when she saw Nizhoni running up the hill west of their home. Confused, she walked to join him when someone called her name from behind. She turned to see little Johona running towards her.

"Good afternoon my child." She called and waved as the little cub ran up to her with something in her hands.

"Hey mother." She gasped.

"What can I do for you?"

Johona had to pause, her hands on her knees, as she tried to catch her breath. "I... need to... give..." she huffed in frustration "I need to give this to Nizhoni!" she inhaled deeply and held out a bracelet.

"Oh my..." Waneta took the bracelet from her. The bracelet was fine silver and had four medium sized pieces of turquoise set in it. "What a beautiful piece Johona. I'll be sure to get it to him for you."

Johona seemed to have finally regained her composure, "Thank you!" She smiled and offered Waneta a hug before taking off towards her own home.

She looked up the hill where she had seen Nizhoni last, holding the bracelet to her chest. She couldn't see him anymore, but she had a pretty good idea of where he might be.

"Come on my son" She picked Aditsan up and headed towards the fire pit where Songaa sat preparing the evening meal.

"What was that about?" He asked as she sat down with the cub on her knee.

"Johona asked me to give this to Nizhoni for her." She showed him the bracelet.

He looked at it blankly, "Perhaps this is what the Holy People want of him."

"That could be," Waneta looked into the fire. Her face was sullen, "I still worry there will come a day when they will ask him to leave us."

Songaa placed his hand on her knee "We will cross that bridge when we get there."

She looked at him and his warm gaze filled her with reassurance. "You are right my love. In the meantime, what should we do about these gifts? Nizhoni seems to be struggling to accept them."

Songaa held out his hand for the bracelet, "Let me go talk to him."

"No way!" She handed him Aditsan and got up, "It's my turn this time. Besides, I think Aditsan would like to talk to you." She walked off and began climbing up the hill.

Songaa held the cub up and looked at him perplexed. "Do you have something you'd like to talk about my son?"

The cub stared blankly at him. A light breeze wafted a terrible odor into Songaa's face. "Oh I see," He chocked, "that's what this is about."

The cub smiled at him and kicked his legs. "Let's go get you cleaned up then."

Nizhoni stood at the top of the hill facing into the wind. His eyes were closed as leaned against his favorite juniper. This was the only place he felt he could relax, no matter what. The wind was always just right up here and sounds of the earth seemed to carry themselves from far away. He could hear the community as they called their families home for the evening meal. He could even hear other sounds from beyond the river. They remained a mystery since he had never crossed the river, but they relaxed him all the same.

"What troubles you little one" This was also one of the places Nizhoni felt most comfortable speaking to the bodiless voice.

He took a deep breath, letting the smell of the world around him fill him. "I yelled at Johona today."

"Oh, I see. Did she deserve it?"

"No..."

"Then why did you yell at her?"

Nizhoni sank to the ground and his voice cracked "I'm so sorry" he lamented, "I just don't feel right accepting people's gifts. I'm just a cub! Why do they keep asking me these simple things and insist they reward me so much?"

"My dear fox. Why don't you want to accept their gifts to you? After all, they only wish to show you their gratitude."

"They're gratitude seems to outweigh my contribution. Shouldn't it be a more equal exchange?" Songaa had taught Nizhoni to always engage in fair trade.

Nizhoni felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look, but no one was there. "Knowledge is more precious than you realize young one."

"But I'm not teaching them anything new." He put his head in his hands.

"Your gifts make your words penetrate into their minds. You don't need to worry about upsetting the harmony."

Nizhoni hadn't mentioned the fact that he was worried that accepting these gifts would bring imbalance. However, it didn't surprise him that the voice had ascertained this without being told. Of all the people he knew, the voices were the only ones who seemed to understand him.

"Thank you." He stood up and stretched, "I guess I should head home then." He turned around to start heading home but was met by his mother, who had just come out from hiding behind a tree.

"Mom!" He yelped. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough son." She moved up to stand next to him, looking out across the land. She folded her arms to hide the bracelet, "So what advice did the spirits offer you my son?"

Nizhoni's ears dropped with embarrassment, "Um... Well..." he fidgeted with his tail "I was told that it's ok for me to accept gifts.... Basically, because you can't put a price on knowledge"

"I see." Waneta unfolded his arms and handed him the bracelet. "Johona asked me to give this to you. Did you really yell at her?"

He took the bracelet and looked down at his feet ashamed, "Yeah." He continued to stare at his feet, waiting for his mother to say something. Instead of specking, Waneta wrapped her arms around her son.

"Go apologize to her first thing tomorrow."

"I will." He hugs her back.

"Now," She holds him out in front of her, "let's go have dinner before the others eat it all." And she kissed him on the nose.

"Ewe, mom!" He laughed and wiped his nose.

Back at the Hogan the rest of the family was gathered around the fire pit. They had already started eating by the time Nizhoni and his mother had joined them. The sun had set, and the sky was getting dark when Songaa and Waneta sent the kids to bed.

"Oooo," Aleshanee teased "mom and dad are going to get 'cozy' by the fire."

Waneta scowled and chucked a small stick, sending her daughter running into the Hogan. "Good night love birds!" She called, giggling as she ran.

Nizhoni picked up Aditsan "I'll put him to bed for you."

"Thank you, son," Songaa waved "good night. We'll be in soon."

He walked off with the little cub in his arms and disappeared into the Hogan. Waneta moved up against her husband and rested her head on his shoulder. There was silence between them.

"What is bothering you my love?" Songaa broke the silence.

Waneta said nothing. Songaa gave her a gentle squeeze, "You don't have to worry. I can handle it."

She took a deep breath, "We need to talk to him. Tomorrow, after he returns from apologizing to Johona."

His ears perked up. "Waneta," he breathed, "he's too young."

"Didn't I tell you he was too young for a lot of things? Yet, you insisted that we push him to. 'He needs to be ready for whatever may come' you said."

She leaned back and faced him, her eyes ablaze with determination. "We are going to tell him where he came from."

Chapter Two

Strange Happenings

Deep in the canyons that meander between high mountains, far to the north of the community, Songaa was engaged in an important mission. He had been tasked by his old friend, Satinka, to collect white clay for use in essential ceremonies. When Songaa asked why it had to be him Satinka simply said, "No one else is suited for such an important task."

And so, he left his family under the assumption that his friend was trying to do him a favor by taking his mind off the recent loss of his first child. A stone had collapsed on the young cub while he was climbing in the hills to the south. It was this same stone that Songaa carried to the northernmost edge of the community as he prepared for his trip for the white clay.

"Here." Satinka pointed at a spot on the ground in front of Songaa "set the stone here."

With a heavy thud he set the large stone on the ground and stood with his back to it. His friend placed his hand on his shoulder and began to sing. The purpose of this song was to heal the mind, and emotions, as Songaa walked away from the stone. Just as he left the stone behind without looking back, he was also leaving his sorrows for his lost child. From now, until he returned, he would try to focus on the family he had.

After a few weeks of travel, he came across a group of Antelope Squirrels, with black and brown stipes that run down their backs. Their bellies and underside of their tail were bright white, and they kept their tails raised high most of the time. They were also very short in comparison to the Gray Foxes Songaa was accustomed to. They fed him and told him where he might find the white clay. He needed to travel up the west canyon, to where the aspen trees began to grow at the bottom.

As he journeyed he took notice of the plants that didn't grow near his home. His favorite tree was much more common here and every time he came across on he would take a moment a take a closer look. This unique tree Songaa was so fond of wasn't especially attractive in the conventional sense. Its leaves were small, narrow, and had a distinctive curl around their edges. It had a variable form of growth, where it could either grow as a low scraggly shrub, or a tall conical tree, and even a combination form where its branches stretch outward like a strange juniper.

What Songaa liked most about this tree were its flowers. The flowers start out small and purple, but when they bloom they turn mostly yellow while retaining some purple on the tips. Later and the season, the seeds would produce these long fuzzy tendrils which he found aesthetically appealing.

Songaa was able to collect a large amount of white clay and had stated his trek home. He hadn't gotten very far when he came across a stand of tall sage. Such tall shrubs were nonexistent in his home area. Their dark trunks lifted their branches several feet above his head, and he couldn't help but walk through the tall shrubs.

As he made his way through the giant sage, there was a rustling as the shrubs began to sway. Songaa crouched down incase the wind picked up. But he quickly realized the movement was autonomous from the wind. Confused about this occurrence, he remained low and waited for it to pass.

After several minutes the sage's gentle swaying continued and Songaa finally decided to try and move forward. All around him the shrubs moved in the calm air. He walked deeper into the sage, their perfume filled the air. Not wanting to get too close to them, Songaa followed a lead through the sage. There seemed to be an unknown force pulling him forward as the sage leaned forward, encouraging him onward.

Finally, he came to a lush clearing with green grass and blue flowers all around. In the middle of this clearing was single bush, much shorter in comparison to the sibling that surrounded it. What it lacked in height it made up for in girth, its trunk was as thick as the thigh of an adult Gray Fox, and its branches were so close together the shrub greatly resembled a giant mushroom. Its leaves were silvery and covered in prominent hairs.

Songaa cautiously approached to examine this odd sage. Its strange growth form had peaked his curiosity so much so that he didn't even notice the righthanded direction of the swaying of the towering sage around him. He extended his hand to touch the trunk of the sage. He retracted his hand in shock. The shrub was emanating its own heat. Not intense heat but more like body heat, but this wasn't what surprised him. The little shrub began to move, as is it was unraveling itself. The trunk shrank, becoming thin as if an unseen force was squeezing it. The top burst open from the pressure and sent its leaves into the air. Songaa stepped back, shielding his eyes from the debris.

After the remains settled he looked at the aftermath of this bizarre event. The surrounding vegetation resumed its natural state of immobility and the anticipation that had filled the air was replaced with a reverent stillness. The center shrub had withered, and its previously thick trunk had thinned and splintered leaving a hollow center. But what was even more amazing than the shrub was the creature that had emerged and was now sitting atop its branches. A brightly colored fox cub sat there, just staring at Songaa without moving. They gazed at each other for a decent amount of time before Songaa finally decided to make the first move. He walked up and knelt before the cub, whose emerald eyes followed his every move.

"Um... Hello little one." Songaa had no idea what to do. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before.

The little cub continued to stare without blinking. Songaa started to wonder if this 'thing' was actually real, given how still it was. So, he slowly reached out to touch it on the head. The second he made contact with its fur it latched onto his hand as if it was hugging it mother after a long separation. Although, this sudden movement scared Songaa enough to mess himself, he managed not to jump or send the cub falling to the ground. The cub closed its eyes as it cuddled Songaa's hand, his grip was painfully impressive.

Songaa suddenly knew what he was required to do. He took the cub into his arms and resumed his trek home.

"Looks like I have a new..." He paused to check the cub's gender, "Son" He smiled to himself.

"Now, what name does this gift of life deserve?" he asked aloud looking at the tiny cub in his arms, his fur shimmered in the light.

"You certainly are a beautiful little fox." As he pondered this the cub yawned and stretched in his arms.

"How about Nizhoni?" He asked the cub, "Do you know what that means? It means beautiful."

The cub smiled as he dozed off. Songaa began to quietly pray, it was a long journey, but he knew the cub would be able to survive. But still he prayed, every day until he returned home, prayers of gratitude.

The sun was high by the time the story was finished, everyone sat in complete silence around the fire within the Hogan. All eyes were on Nizhoni as he sat, staring at the ground. The moments dragged on before he finally looked up. Although his eyes were tearless, everyone else had soaked their fur with tears.

"Hey," He comforted, "where I came from doesn't change anything." He paused "right?"

"Of course not." Said his mother reassuringly.

"Well it damn well better not." Exclaimed Aleshanee as she choked on her tears. Neither of their parents bothered to reprimand her for her disrespectful language.

"Honestly we didn't want to have to tell you this until after you had grown." Songaa avoided making eye contact. "But, in light of recent events we've decided it would be best for you to be as ready for whatever the Holy Ones might need you for."

Nizhoni felt something he hadn't felt before. He felt calm and yet, there were some anxious undertones as he thought about who he was as a member of this community, of this family. He looked back down at his feet and the silence resumed. His mind raced through his memories as he tried to test himself, to see if he remembered his birth, or arrival, or whatever it was. He always knew he was different, how could he not know? His appearance alone was a dead giveaway, but this story of him coming from the inside of a sage brush. It was almost too much to handle, and yet he felt unable to doubt the validity of this bizarre tale.

Then, with a cheerful laugh Nizhoni broke the silence, "Well ok then, if this doesn't change anything then why are we acting like it's the end of the world?" He got up, walked over to his parents, and hugged them both. "You will always be my parents."

They both hugged him back and Aleshanee jumped in.