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"Twaz that dumb box!" Or....How not to make a "flay-me thrower thingie"

A young Gideon Gray and Travis fan fiction

By Dan 1966

(c) Zootopia 2016, Walt Disney Animated Studios (c) The television series "Combat" 1961

Based off a real childhood experience from the author.

The Bunnyburrough County Fair Noon

"Gimme yer tickets right now? Or I'm gonna kick yer meek lil sheep butt!" Gideon Gray fox snapped as he pushed on Floura Willowlamb's head so hard, he could have snapped it if he was more brutal.

For a young fox, Gideon Gray was an abnormal monster at 11 years old. He was almost twice the size of a normal fox kit and twice as fearless...if you wanted to credit any of that to a school bully. As usual his side kick toadie Travis Halfgate the weasel was right behind him with those beady eyes and his toothy grin of approval at the fox kit's cruelty.

"OW! Cut it out Gideon!" Floura squealed back which only encouraged the big fox kit to be more aggressive and cruel...

"Bah"...Bah!....What are ya gonna do? Cry?" Gideon snarled as he ripped the prize tickets from Floura's hoofed hand and shoved them into his denim coveralls as he took a menacing stance with his fists balled out at his sides.

"HEY!" A voice came from the side and the sound of big rabbits feet stomped closer and closer. "YOU HEARD HER! CUT IT OUT!"

It was Judy Hopps the bunny, still wearing her cop costume from the school play she had just done with Floura an hour before. The sight made Gideon flip his hands up and walk towards her....

"Nice costume loser...." Gideon snorted as his toadie Travis ran behind him as if to back up the intimidation factor of his larger companion. "What crazy world are you livin in where you think a bunny can be a COP?!"

Judy wasn't phased at all. She didn't even flinch as she stretched out her paw and demanded..."Kindly return my friends tickets!"

Gideon thumped his paws off his chest. "Come an get em! But watch out? cause I'm a fox! And like you said in yer dumb little stage play? Us predators used to eat pray! An our killer instinct's still in our denna." Gideon snarled as he got almost face to face level with Judy and still the little bunny didn't back down.

"Uh....Gid? I'm pretty sure it's pronounced D N A?" Travis said timidly behind Gideon's back.

The big fox kit was annoyed. Travis always had the idea of correcting Gideon on everything and the fox turned and snarled at him. "Don't tell me what I know Travis?!"

Judy Hopps stood more defiant. Her paws now clenched into fists as she leaned close to Gideon's chest. "You don't scare me Gideon!"

That was a straw breaker! Gideon put all his weight and power behind a brutal push and made Judy fly off her feet and her hat fly from her head as she crashed into the ground in a cloud of dust and dirt!

"SCARED NOW!" Gideon snarled angrily as Judy recovered onto her behind. Travis regarded the twitch in the little rabbit's nose and snickered evilly...

"Look at her nose twitch! She is scared?!" Travis said from a protected distance as Gideon sauntered up and loomed over Judy's face...

"Cry little baby bunny! Cry.....Cry....." Gideon snickered then reeled backwards as a pair of powerful feet slammed into his snoot! No body smaller than Gideon had EVER dared to hit him and the smaller animals who were accosted by the big bruiser cringed behind a tree as Judy had sure sealed her fate by deciding to give the bully a good whop in the kisser!

Gideon was stunned for a moment...his paw moving up to feel the small trickle of blood dropping from his hurt nose and his face down turned into a look of murder in his eyes...

"Awww.....you don't know when to quit do yah." Gideon said with a deep snarl as he flexed his fingers and brought forth his sharp fox claws!

"GRRRRRRRRRRR......" The fox kit growled and then he swiped Judy hard in the side of the face! Opening skin and cutting away fur to show three nasty red claw gouges on her cheek!

Judy felt her cheek and shivered at the sight of blood on her paw then gasped as Gideon slammed her head into the dirt!

"I want you to remember this moment the next time you think you will EVER be ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST A STUPID CARROT FARMIN DUMB BUNNY!" Gideon snarled. Then he thumped her head harder against the ground, got up, high five'd Travis and sauntered off with him through a field flanked by corn patches...

"Can you imagine that floppy foot moron Travis?" Gideon snorted. "Had the nerve to kick my snoot? She probably pee'd herself silly after I marked her dumb face huh?"

"You showed her Gid. Show'd her real good." Travis said as he skipped along picking up rocks and chucking them around. "So what next Gid? What next?" Travis asked. "We could go skinny dippen in the creek? No! Throw rocks at the train? Better yet? We could get some horse manure and put bags on mammal's porches?"

Gideon thought for a moment then looked around. "Hey? What time is it?"

Travis looked at his wrist watch..."Bout close to three?"

"Oh shoot!" Gideon snapped. "Climb on my back quick! We Gottah haul tail!"

"Why?" Travis asked as he hopped onto Gideon's back and the big fox kit bolted for home. "Why are you even asking you stupid weasel?! Wombat's comin on the box!"

"Oh shoot!" Travis yelped. "We can't miss Wombat! Hurry your butt up Gid!"

"Ok! Stop diggen yer claws in my neck you fool!" Gideon yelped as he ran as fast as he could until he almost crashed through the screen door of his house and caught the attention of his mother...

"Gideon! You're late getting your chores done!" Gideon's mother yelped from the kitchen as Gideon slid in front of the television in the den!

"I'll git em done after Wombat maw!" Gideon yelped. "Travis?! Go into the kitchen an git the corn chips and soda pop! And our stick gins too!"

"Gins?" Travis asked. "You mean guns?"

"Just get to it stupid?!" Gideon yelped as he turned on the television and had himself a war with the rabbit ears on top of the set...."Stupid things. Now I know why they call em "Rabbit ears" because rabbits are stupid!"

"Got the chips and our guns Gid!" Travis yelped as he slid next to Gideon in front of the television as their favorite TV Show came on...

"WOMBAT!" The announcer yelled out as the title music started to play...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Combat!_(TV_series)

Gideon and Travis knew the title song by heart as they had vowed not to miss a single episode of the army war series. They sat singing and swaying to the music as they traded salutes and threw around their stick guns like real soldiers...

"Oh....we're the foxes and the weasels of the fightin fifty fourth! We're not afraid of the Nah-zees, onto victory we sally forth! When the Gerbils git in our way! we'll make those Nah-zees pay! With every shot and shell we'll scare them all to hell! With a Grrrrrrrr...Grrrrrrrrrr....run you nah-zees GRRRR! With a Grrrrrrrr... Grrrrrrrrrr....run you nah-zees GRRRR!"

Gideon stood up ramrod strait and shouldered his stick gun..."Sargent!" He saluted to Travis.

"Yes sir Capt'n Sir!" Travis replied with a salute.

"I want you to take a company of weasels....assault that there hill and don't leave a single nah-zee gerbil left alive. You got your orders!" Gideon commanded as if he were General George S Baaaah-ton.

"Eye eye Sir!" Travis replied with a salute.

"Travis?!" Gideon snorted. "That there's the Navy you idiot. And last I checked? We're not kittens like those squid type mammals. We's grunts like Sargent Chip Saunders the bravest fox who ever lived! Oh....oh.....it's startin....sit down!"

"Wonder what's gonna happen this week?!" Travis said with excitement.

"Don't go yappin all the way through the show Travis?!" Gideon snorted as he wrapped the weasel off his head. Both young mammals were frozen in attention to every detail, laying on a stack of pillows like two G.I.'s in a fox hole waiting for a "Naa-Zee" patrol to pop out of no where...the suspense of the show was enough to get even a bully like Gideon snuggling his fox tail as some sort of comfort stuff-ee against the building tension as the foxes and weasels of Bravo Company swept through some deserted town looking for those wicked Gerbals of the "Herman Goating" Division...

Then the sound of a Gerbil "forty two" machine gun pierced the skins of the two Mammalian youngsters! "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP!" and a young fox fell in the street!

"OH NO!" Gideon yelped. "They got Private Kline! NO!" Gideon reached out and pulled Travis into his big chest and almost chocked him with fright until Travis wiggled away!

"Tarn Gid! It's just a show on the box!" Travis yelped.

"Sorry Travis...it's just that Private Kline's such a cool fella. Aw mammals to hell...don't die Kline!" Gideon expressed a gut wrenching concern as he and Travis watched the mammals of Bravo Company desperately search for the machine gun that mauled their wounded companion.

When the Gerbal gun crew were shown on the screen, the slow pace of the search for such an obvious location drove Gideon and Travis into fits of frustration..."Tarn it all! I can find that stupid gun! What ear you doin Sarge? Playing cards! It's right there stupid!"

"They're trying to flank em Gid!" Travis exclaimed with his stick gun.

"Don't tell me how to make "tack ticks" Travis?" Gideon snorted with a slap raised paw. Just then...one fox, Private Warren, cut loose with the company's dreaded flame thrower upon the hidden nest of Naz-zee devils!

"BLOOOOOSH! BLOOOSH!"

The joy of the two young mammals was elation of kicking legs and waving arms. "YEAH! GIT THOSE DEVILS!"

"WELCOME TO THE BAR-B-Q! WOOOOOO!" Travis celebrated with a bounce and a tush wag..."RUN YOU NAH-ZEES RUN!"

Then the two Mammals were locked in each others arms in grim suspense as the Bravo Mammals and their medic reached their fallen comrade...to joy and relief...Corporal Kine would live to see another episode and Gideon and Travis sat patting their stomachs with great relief.

As he promised...Gideon tended to the afternoon chores, carrying bails of hay to the draft horses in the barn on the family farm. "Now that? That was a good episode huh Travis?"

"Yeah...." The weasel replied. "Sure was Gid. And how bout that flamey thrower? Ain't that thing the hoot?!"

"Yeah..." Gideon replied. "Best weapon the company has. I love that thing, how it makes them stupid "Nah-zee" gerbils scatter!"

"You ain't kidden." Travis said with a snicker. "Wish we had one."

Now....childhood inspiration can be a wonderful thing or a dangerous thing, depending on the child. Gideon Gray to some folks might be just a big dumb bully except...he had a conjuring mind as quick and cleaver as "Ein-Sloth" and as cross wired as Lucifer's butt on a hot plate....yeah....doesn't make sense but it didn't have too in the case of Gideon Gray...

"Wait a tarn second?" Gideon said as he rested a big paw on Travis's shoulder and thought carefully...."Shoot....we can make ourselves one of those flamey thrown things Travis!"

"Yeah?" Travis replied with insidious snickering. "And how do we do that?"

"It's a good thing I'm so attentive to that there box. I dunno why they call it an idiot box? I git a lot of good ideas off watchin "MBS" (Mammal Broadcasting Service) Gideon said as he gestured. "Come on Travis. Follow a genius at work."

Author's warning: I will not be responsible for the following idea should anyone attempt it. Don't do it!

A while later...Gideon and Travis stood in the barn at a tool table with various items scattered over the plywood top. "Let's see....my Tommy gun squirt gun. Some electrical tape. Did you get the charcoal fluid and a weldin rod?"

Travis held the can of charcoal fluid and a welding rod in his paws. "Yip."

"All we need now is a cigarette lighter." Gideon snickered.

Now back many, many years ago...(real time)....try the early 1970's, BIC lighter once made the "Flick", a disposable lighter that once you flicked it on, it stayed on. Perhaps it was because of children like Gideon that BIC created the child proof non-stay lit lighter?

Television + Lighter + child inspiration = blame the stupid box.

But back to our story...Gideon taped the welding rod to the short barrel of the plastic squirt gun then went with Travis to the general store where he bought a whole pocket of penny candy and snatched a "Flicker" off the display rack at the counter...

"Mornin Mister Shay!" Gideon said with a smile. "My paw needs a new "Flicker", he goes through em like he goes through my mom's pies."

The old Tiger didn't think different and with giggling anticipation...the young mammals ran back to the barn and taped the flicker to the end of the welding rod.

Gideon walked out to a dirt patch with Travis and flicked the lighter on, adjusting the flame to full open and gestured Travis back..."Don't want you to get burned if this thing messes up."

Gideon aimed the squirt gun....pulled the trigger....and a blast of flaming fluid balled forth with a spectacular WOOSH!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE GOT OURSELVES A BONIFIDE FLAMEY THROWER!" Gideon yelped joyfully as he let loose another good shot of flame!

Travis smacked Gideon off the butt..."YOU'Z A GENIOUS GID! LOOK AT IT SHOOT!"

Gideon stood with the gun pointed up by his shoulder and snarled with glee. "Let's go kill us some stupid Nah-zees Travis?!"

It was "wahr" the way young male mammals created it. Metal coke cans filled with dirt that made "smoke" when they dumped as they flew through the air. Rocks as hand grenades, sticks as guns, and Gideon running himself silly blasting balls of flame through the air and so far not causing any real damage. After a half hour of fooling around, he stood back to back with Travis by his father's paint and tool shed...

"You seen anything yet Sarge?" Gideon asked as he pretended to hunt.

"Nothin yet there Cap-tin." Travis replied. "Hey Gid? Lemme shoot the flamey thrower now?"

"I'll let cha in a bit Travis." Gideon replied as he skulked about.

"Little bits been a while ago Gid, it's my turn." Travis yelped.

"I said you'll get it in a little bit Travis!" Gideon snapped.

"No fairs Gid!" Travis turned and snarled. "Yer hoggin it! Lemme try it!" The weasel snapped as he bounded upon Gideon's chest and started to wrestle for control of the squirt gun!

"Git off Travis!" Gideon yelped. "Dang it you fool weasel, yer gonna bust it!"

"Stop hoggin it then Gid!" Travis yelped back. "Give it!"

Now....how much you wanna bet things don't ever go right when they need to go wrong? As they jumped about and wrestled for control of the home made flame thrower....Travis got his paw thumb into the trigger guard and a furious stream of flame shot from the squirt gun....

And right into Gideon's father's tool and paint shed....which just so happens had to be saturated with turpentine, motor oil and various other things that go....

"FOOF!"

The two young mammals suddenly froze in horror at the sound of flames quickly spreading through the small shed....

"Oh.....FERRET PELLETS! MY PAW'S SHED!" Gideon screamed in horror! "GIT SOME WATER TRAVIS! HURRY UP! MY PAWS GONNA KILL US!"

Travis scrambled for the nearest water...the Horse drinking trough...scooped some water into a bucket and ran back to throw it into the growing flames!

Now the one thing MBS didn't teach? How you never throw water on an oil based fire....it tends not to work well....

"KAAAAAAFLOOOM!"

What had been somewhat salvageable a pre-teen mammal caused disaster, quickly turned into the "Hinden-bovine" with all the "Mammality" of horror thrown in for good measure...

The shed quickly went from "A shed" to a "cinder" which hilariously collapsed in upon itself like something out of a Bug Bunny cartoon. Only Gideon and Travis weren't laughing anymore...

"My paws gonna murder us." Gideon said in a cowarding tone. "He warn'd me if I ever really messed up real bad? He'd cut my tail clean off Travis?! A fox without a tail is like a building without a foundation....just taint right! We's deader than a nail on a door!"

"Uh? Gid? Nail's ain't livin." Travis said with a gesture.

"Why do you always have to go correctin me Travis?! Especially at such a stupid time as this?!" Gideon yelped as he started running.

"Where we goin Gid?!" Travis screeched as he tried to keep up with the big fox kit.

"Where yah think ya hard headed Weasel?! To ditch this fool flamey thrower!" Gideon snapped back. "My paw's got eagle eyes, I swear....he'll find it for sure on the farm! We gotta hide it good until the storm passes!"

The two young mammals soon found themselves back on the edge of the fair grounds where they scanned over the scene and caught a little female's bicycle leaning against a fence by a bounce house....

"Gid?! Look there!" Travis said as he pointed. It's that dumb bunny's bike!"

"She made it up to look like a cop bike." Gideon snickered.

"And....she's got the same kinda squirt gun we got and the same color too."

Gideon looked at his squirt gun, looked at Judy's gun that was sitting in her bike basket and snickered evilly as he removed the "Flick" lighter and the electric tape from the gun....

"Here!" Gideon passed the squirt gun to Travis. "Yer small and quick? Exchange em out!"

Travis quickly snuck up to Judy's bike, changed out the squirt guns and came running back. "Done n done!"

"Problem solved." Gideon snorted. "We'll wait till the heat's died down then we'll get our flamey thrower back from miss dumb cotton tail." Gideon grabbed Travis by his shirt. "Come on! Let's git?"

Later...

Judy pressed herself against the side of the family farm house with an old "CB" hand mic in her hand that was tied to her belt by a string...

"This is officer Hopps! I've chased the suspect into the factory and I need back up ASAP!" Judy said into the hand mic...

"Psshhh....Officer Hopps? We can't send officers to assist you right now. Hold fast and wait for back up!" Judy said to herself.

"Can't do that headquarters!" Judy exclaimed. "If Black Bart gets away this time? More people in the city will be in danger! I'm going in!"

Judy whipped up her squirt gun and pointed it ahead of her as she slowly walked along the side of the house..."Officer Judy Hopps ZPD. I'm all alone in a factory with a dangerous suspect who could jump out any time...my heart is pounding...my trigger finger tight on my weapon...my training and discipline are the only things between me and DEATH!"

Judy turned around a corner and came face to face with the evil master criminal of Zootopia....Black Bart himself!

"FREEZE BART! DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE!" Judy yelled. The suspect refused to be still and Judy unleashed a killer stream...

And the sound of a panicking screaming little mammal broke the quiet of the whole farm! From the kitchen, Judy's mother Bonnie poked her head out the window...

"Judy?! What's wrong with Mindy?" Bonnie yelled.

"I hit her in the face with my squirt gun moma...that's all!" Judy replied as she carried her toddler sister to the front door. "Moma! This water smells weird."

Bonnie came to the door and caught the smell of lighter fluid over her little toddler...."Oh my...STU! STU! COME QUICK!" Bonnie paniced as she carried the baby bunny to the kitchen sink and started pouring cups of water on her head!

"What? What is it?" Stu said as he ran into the kitchen.

"Judy sprayed lighter fluid on the baby's face!" Bonnie said in a frantic panic.

Stu quickly turned to Judy..."WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Daddy! It was an accident. I didn't know the squirt gun wasn't loaded with water! Honest! I was just playing cops and robbers..."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WERE DOING!" Stu snapped. "GO TO YOUR ROOM YOUNG LADY!"

"But.....Daddy.....I?" Judy pleaded.

"GET TO YOU ROOM RIGHT NOW OR I'LL BLISTER YOUR BOTTOM!" Stu yelled with a ponting finger!

Bonnie snatched the phone off the wall and frantically dialed it..."Hello! Hello Doctor Merkel? This is Bonny Hoops...we're bringing our baby Mindy in...she's been hit in the face with lighter fluid!"

"I'LL GET THE TRUCK!" Stu snapped. "DAMN THAT GIRL AND HER CRAZY DREAMS!"

Judy tore up the stairs crying and broke through her bedroom door, flopping onto her bed as she could hear the truck peal out from the front of the house.

6pm The Gray fox residence

Alphius Gray stood by Volunteer Fire Chief Sam Koontz (A Brown Bear) watching the fire mammals as they overhauled the remains of his paint shed.

"I can't believe my shed burned down." Alphius remarked as he stood scratching his head in dismay.

"It happens a lot Al." Sam said. "Put all your paint and cleaner inside a closed shed, get it hot enough to make vapors and it'll go up on its' own. Good thing no one was in there when it erupted." Sam gave Alphius a light chest slap. "Don't let it distress you? No harm done, no damage to anything else? Build you a new one. Just be careful to make it a better shed."

Alphius just happened to look around the surrounding ground and noted some discolored ground and some burnt grass...

"My kit's been burning ant hills again." Alphius said as he sighed.

"Maybe you should ask him if he burnt your shed down?" Sam asked.

"Nah." Alphius replied. My Gideon knows better than to touch my shed. Trust me."

Inside the Gray house...Gideon was laying on the couch watching cartoons in the living room as his mother Bethany walked to the wall by the entry way to answer the phone...

"Hello? Oh hi Wilma. Yes? Oh you need two quilts? Why of course I can add the other one. No...you don't need to provide any more materials, I have plenty. No? No I haven't heard anything about the Hopps's. She what? No......no oh my word? Is the little one alright? At the hospital now? I sure will call and give them my best, oh no..."

Just then...Mister Gray came into the kitchen and listened to his wife's gasping breath. "Yes I will....the poor thing....I'll have the quilts ready by next week. Good bye Wilma." Bethany said as Alphius stopped from going into the living room.

"What was that all about Beth?" Alphius asked. "You sounded full of concern?"

"Oh...one of the little Hopps babies was just taken to the hospital. She got lighter fluid in her eyes. Seems one of the other children sprayed her with it."

The words hit Gideon's ears and he perked up sharply, turning his face towards his parents as they talked.

"Sprayed a baby with lighter fluid?" Alphius gasped. "Is the youngster all right? Gideon? Get over here?" Alphius asked with a finger wave to his son. Gideon nervously walked up to his dad and stood trying not to play with his fingers...an instant sign of blame his father would quickly bring down the wrath for...

"Son? My paint shed burned to the ground today. Did you do it?" Alphius asked. "I see you've been setting ant hills on fire again?"

"No paw." Gideon replied. "No...me and Travis were playing around after chores and then we went to the creek to swim....honest."

Alphius nodded. "Fine...go get washed for dinner." He said as he turned back to his wife. "My word...that poor little baby could lose her sight, what was the other child even thinking?! That's something you'd never expect a Bunny to do."

Gideon felt sick. He felt bad at the dinner table along with serious fear which only got worse as he sat up in his room by himself. He was so gripped with worry that he didn't notice Travis until the weasel climbed from the old tree by Gideon's room and slipped his legs through the bedroom window...

"Hey Gid?" Travis said with a hand wave. "Did yer paw say anythin about the shed?"

Gideon was silent, his paw finger twitching nervously over his snoot and lips...

"Gid? Did your Paw find out and tan your hide?" Travis asked.

"No....." Gideon replied nervously. "Travis? We's in really big trouble and I mean super big trouble."

"Ain't seen none." Travis replied. "What gives?"

"Judy Hopps shot our squirt gun into the eyes of one of the Hopps babies... it... it doesn't sound good." Gideon slapped his forehead hard..."Dang! I didn't think she'd shoot it? I thought she'd smell the fuel and know better! I didn't mean for it to hurt a little baby Travis!"

Travis tilted his head side to side and gave a sarcastic smirk. "Oh heck Gid? It's just another stupid, dumb bunny...who cares?"

Never had Gideon struck Travis any harder than a light slap but this time...he swung for the fence with a brute open hand that sent the weasel tumbling over the bedroom floor!

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID IDIOT!" Gideon snarled. "SHE'S JUST A LITTLE BABY!" Gideon kicked his little bedroom trash can against a wall and grimaced hard..."Stupid little cop bunny is one thing...but we hurt a little baby....we gotta fess up."

Travis snapped back. "Are you stupid?! No one knows we did it! Why do you wanna go and snitch yourself?! We'll get our tails set on fire! they'll call the sheriff on us! Gid? Don't be a dumb tail?!"

Gideon stood up and walked around his bedroom with his head low and playing with his paw fingers...

"You don't have ta worry Travis." Gideon said mournfully. "I'll take all the blame and keep you from any punishment. I can't live with myself thinking I took a baby's sight away....I....I can't! Taint right at all!"

Travis got in front of Gideon and clenched his overall straps..."Gid? Don't do this? Please? You're the only friend I have....they'll throw you in jail for this... don't be stupid?"

"I'm already stupid." Gideon replied with a sigh. "And you better not say anything Travis...don't you play hero for me or so help me I'll get tarn mad and kick yer tail end. Promise me you won't turn yourself in?"

Travis shook his head.

"Travis? Promise me?! Please?" Gideon insisted.

Travis finally relented and backed away as Gideon rubbed his shoulder. "I've treated you awful sometimes Travis? But I've never had a better friend than you. Wish me luck?"

Travis nodded, gave Gideon a hug and went to leave the house by the bedroom window....giving Gideon one last look before he vanished down the trunk.

End of part 1