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My room was full of kobolds.

"Bo-- kobolds!" I said, somewhat unnecessarily.

"Indeed," Archax added, stomping up behind me, giving my head a gentle pat for the correction. "I was out today getting some new furnishings for your room. Given your current status and wardrobe needs, I found it desirable."

"Given my new...? Oh no... my bed! My... what did they do to my chest of drawers?" Ichyx -- whichever of the 'bolds that was -- and his or her crew had dismantled half the furniture in my room, including my bed and my original chest of drawers, and were busily assembling their replacements. "What are these 'bolds doing to my room!?" I moaned. There was a loud, ominous grumble from behind me. Too late, I realized just what I'd said, and in front of whom.

"I see my choice of sleeping arrangements was well made, pet. You, little one, are in time out. Again." Archax firmly, but not unkindly, took hold of my arm, turned me bodily around to lift me up, and placed me inside what I had at first assumed was a wooden cage where my bed used to be. It was only when I made contact with the mattress on the 'floor' of the area that I really realized where I was -- my new bed, a crib. "You are to stay there until I say otherwise. Supervise if you must, I won't have them overdoing things, but you are very much 'in the dog house', I believe the saying is this time. I shall fetch you some juice. Ichyx is in charge, that is her, and you are to do as she says this time," Archax sternly told me, pointing with a long claw. "Perhaps you will learn some respect that way."

"B-but... I didn't... I didn't mean it!" I complained.

Archax turned back to me from chirping in a low rumble at Ichyx to fix me with a very hard stare. I shrank back from it instinctively. "That's as may be, but you still need to be punished. And I think I have the most appropriate way." He had an expression on his muzzle which I was almost certain was a smirk as he turned back to Ichyx, "Chiku purrr ma uchu ma," he said to her, with a few more words besides that I didn't quite catch, before turning back to me. "Now you, say 'chiku mi uchuu'."

"What does it--"

"Say it for me, please?"

I looked up at him. He looked... hopeful. Pleading, almost. "Fiiinnne," I sighed. I turned to Ichyx and, haltingly, told her, "Chiku mi uchuu." When she heard, I swear I saw her ears twitch. "Uchuu?" I asked again.

"Pichu Chiku ma! Purr purr nichachuu!" she said, with a tone somewhere between what I would have pegged as 'heartbroken' and 'adoring'.

"Umm, umm... Archax, what did I say?" I asked, moving back slightly on my mattress from the advancing kobold.

"Oh, I just informed them you are my... I do not believe your language has an exact corollary, but I told her the barely yoked hatchling of my first clutch needs a... the phrase does not travel well, but 'wet nurse' is close, as he is hungry and scared."

Ichyx was already moving, telling two of her subordinates to let down one whole side of my crib. It slid neatly and smoothly down -- wherever Archax had purchased this, he'd bought quality merchandise -- and she clambered up onto the bed next to me.

"Chiku wa? Ichu Chiku? Chiku Chiku!" Ichyx' words carried on, her tone condescendingly sweet as she babbled babytalk at me, but they were mostly noise. I did hear a certain amount of sibilant giggling from some of the other kobolds. Archax just chuckled and stomped away down the stairs. He returned quickly with a bottle full of juice, finding Ichyx trying to teach me more words. I wasn't sure if she was counting, telling a lullaby, naming my fingers or what, but I did do my best to mimic her. She seemed ecstatic when I did.

Archax leaned in and shared a few words in presumably draconic, or at least whatever dialect of it these kobolds spoke, and handed her the bottle. He then turned to me. "Okay, Peter, you be good now, do as Ichyx says and I'll consider your timeout at an end when they leave."

"Another babysitter?" I complained.

"Indeed. You continue to show me you need them. Now behave, little one! And let Ichyx look after you a little, it won't hurt much. Except your pride, perhaps." Archax chuckled as he left, leaving me to my ignominious fate.

***

With a series of eeps and cheeps, Ichyx gestured her way through my first lesson in what I presumed to be draconic as she held me in her arms. I gathered I was quite a big baby for her, seeing as kobolds were universally between three and five feet or so in height, and even the big ones were small compared to the average height of a human. Still, it did not deter her, and she dutifully made sure I was comfortable as she both made sure I drank the bottle with gentle coaxing and cries of 'Uchuu! Uchuu!' amidst continuing lessons in such subjects as 'one, two, three little piggies', or whichever animal it was she was describing as she tweaked her ways through my fingers with her claws.

Between her lessons, she chirped and burbled at her underlings as they both dismantled my old life and assembled my new one. Swiftly, my room was rearranged with Archax' new furnishings.

In addition to my bed being turned into a crib, the chest of drawers that had held most of my underwear and t-shirts was replaced with a much larger unit with a wide and, as it turned out, padded top. A changing table. My heart sank as, next to it, sprouted what had to be a diaper pail. Expansive shelves found their way onto my walls, swiftly stocked with piles and piles of my diapers, on display for all to see. At least my computer desk stayed in one piece, although the kobolds did move it to better accommodate the new units.

"Drink, little chick," Ichyx said in draconic, rocking me gently. I let her, it was nice. "You are safe and warm, Mama will keep you safe and warm. See how her claws go snick snick snick, see as she sticks the piggie pig pig! One! Two! Three!"

I did my best to follow along, babbling something along the equivalent of, "Little chick drink drink, mama snick snick piggie pig!" which made her giggle and a few other kobolds swoon. As I was held, the bottle did its dirty work. Seeing no real choice, I relaxed until I finally managed to let go enough that my diaper grew hot, with a quiet, but apparently not quiet enough, hissing as the hotness and wetness grew.

"Pishu pishu! Chiku wa pishu? Huush huush..." comforted Ichyx. She hadn't put her claws anywhere near my diaper area, which was a relief to me, it seemed she had simply looked at my crotch. I realized, with a start, that she could see heat. I guessed this was what gave her so-called darksight, and I wondered if it was the same that gave dragons their alleged ability with blindsight.

I wasn't sure, but it almost felt like her comforting made it worse. Or better, depending on whether you counted peeing your diapers a good thing or not. She chirruped to her underlings again, one of which fetched a diaper from the piles -- by perching precariously on my computer seat, no less -- whilst another commented something about the changing table being too high. Despite my best efforts with complaints, this was how Archax found me once another of the kobolds had been dispatched to inform my owner that the actual job itself was finished.

"Archax! Gettem off me!"

"Why ever should I, little one?" The red dragon was chuckling

"They're... they're trying to change my diapers!"

"Well? I think I'll let them. You've spent long enough in that one, though I bet they could take more, hmm? But what sort of owner would I be if I let you be in wet diapers all day though?" He then rattled off a few more phrases in draconic, of which I picked out a few phrases that sounded like 'wet chick' and 'make warm', and stood by chuckling as I was gently patted by three or four kobolds, each wanting their chance with the boss' hatchling. They were each very gentle, but it didn't stop it being highly embarrassing for me, and highly entertaining for Archax.

"Please!" I complained.

"Very well. Come here then." Archax gestured for me to approach. He also gently shooed the kobolds away from me, although once he'd lifted me bodily up onto my brand new changing table, I did notice he called them in again to help. With their assistance, he eased open my overalls one snap at a time, followed by my onesie which he pinned up inside out over one shoulder, exposing my diapers. All the while, he was explaining in a matter-of-fact tone all about what he was doing. At least, I assumed he was, since he was ignoring me and speaking in draconic, including his frequent baby-talk babbles which were sent my way.

I was feeling more than a little self-conscious again and crossed my arms, which is when I realized I still had Suzy's present. Fishing it out of the front pocket of my overalls, I put the binky in my mouth and suckled on it. Somehow, it actually did work and I started to feel better again. The more upset I felt, the harder I suckled on it until I calmed, feeling almost sleepy.

I heard the kobolds cooing as Archax did his best to explain the intricacies of changing his pet's diapers. There was an explanation of the importance of wiping a butt properly with a wet-wipe which made me squeal, the different types of diaper-rash creams that could be used that just made me squirm as each was applied, and a short demonstration on the proper application of powder that caused a sneeze or too, and more cooing as I did so. I idly gathered, from the time they spent looking at and talking about my butt, that kobold diapers were somewhat different thanks to the need for a rear set of tapes for tails. To my increased embarrassment, each of the interested kobolds in turn took a turn putting me back into overalls, one layer of baby-clothing at a time, until I was once more dressed. Even though I now looked 'relatively normal', whatever that was supposed to mean, the fact that every creature in the room had been aware of my previously bare butt still made me feel... kind of awkward.

"There now, down you get, pet," said Archax, as he lifted me down to the ground. "Say thank you to your new babysitters." I must have looked at him pleadingly enough that he chuckled. "Don't worry, most of the time Rashath's kobolds are kept quite busy enough without being told to look after your diapered butt all day, hmm?"

"Archaaaaaaax!" I complained, but the red dragon just chuckled.

"So, say thank you, pet. You say it like this," Archax said, and then made a chirping noise that I just couldn't quite match. I must have got it close enough though, because I heard more cooing from the kobolds I'd pegged as 'female'. A thought made me pause, what if I literally sounded like a baby? What if I was gurgling baby-talk at them? I wasn't sure if that was better or worse... from Archax' face, I wasn't sure if he'd deliberately taught me to babble but I wouldn't put it past him. He was turning out to be a bit of a prankster.

Shortly after, the kobolds were leaving and I was being presented to each one as they passed. Each of them thanked Archax in some sort of ritualistic fashion that he returned, all of it friendly, before chirping something at me in their own language, which I wasn't sure but didn't quite sound like the draconic that I'd been imitating earlier. Some of them ruffled my hair, others gently patted my cheeks and Ichyx pulled my head closer so that she could put her forehead to mine. I wasn't sure what she said either, but it sounded like a blessing of some sort followed up by an admonition to be good and, quite possibly, to keep on studying draconic.

"She likes you," murmured Archax, as Ichyx exited his home, waving. The dragon closed the front door then put me down from where he'd been holding me.

"I'm... sorry I used bad words," I said, softly, blushing hotly.

"I know, pet. For you, these words mean nothing--"

"That's not true," I blurted out. "I mean, I understand. For me, for us, 'bold' is a positive word. B-but I-I understand words are... sometimes mean bad things and some... people can't use them. B-but w-we, here, w-we don't have... context. I'll... try. I've n-never really s-seen a kobold in the, er, scales, until today, b-but I... I like them. I like Ichyx. W-will we see them again?" I was nervous, babbling, trying to cover for my embarrassment, but honest about it.

"I think... I think we should. Hmm. For now, little one, you have freedom to explore your new room or to play outside in the yard. If you wish to travel further, then let me know and I shall consider it."

"Am I, uh, grounded still?"

"Only a little." Archax smiled. Not long ago, seeing that many teeth in one place, and so sharp, would definitely have scared the crap out of me. Now it didn't, and... wouldn't matter if it did.