Laugh at a dragon, go to jail.
#15 of Story Pad
Flash fiction, title given to me by someone and I hammered this out quick like
The traveler stopped before the town entrance, looking at a sign posted there with some confusion.
"Laugh at a dragon, go to jail. It's the law," the sign said.
"And just who in the world would laugh at a dragon?" the man wondered aloud.
"Oh, you'd be surprised," a guard said. "We arrest more people for it than you'd think."
The man looked at the guard confused. "Really?"
"Oh yes. We've had the jail full before."
"Er, okay. But...well, what's the penalty?"
"Oh, not much. Just a gold sovereign."
"Not much? That's a bit steep for just laughing!"
The man shrugged. "It's the rules."
"Well," the traveler said, "I don't think I'll have any problems obeying the rules. Where is good inn?"
"The Blue Boar just off the market square is a good one."
"Thank you, sir," the traveler said and started off down the cobble stone street once more.
The town was a very nice one, he thought, as he took in his surroundings. The cobbles on the street were fitted nicely, a gutter ran down both sides to carry away water, and there was even a walkway on each side for people to use.
The store windows were made of good glass, easy to see through, and there were even street lights, lanterns hung on poles every several feet. Trees grew here and there and the whole town bespoke of a lot of care and time gone into making it a nice place.
"Hate to see the taxes," the man murmured as he walked into the Blue Boar Inn.
The Inn was a good sized two story affair with a huge taproom at the bottom. A large fire pit sat in the center with a boar turning on a spit roasting away hanging over it. He looked up to see a pipe that allowed the smoke flow out through the roof, climbing past a second floor balcony that had doors lining it, presumably going to the rooms.
The man had to admit he was very impressed. It was clean, well taken care of, just like the town. It was, in all honesty, nicer than the capital city where he hailed from.
He sat down at the bar and the bartender walked over. "What will you have?"
"Oh, glass of ale and some bread and cheese if you have it."
"Of course! Bread was baked fresh this morning and we make our own cheese here in town," the bartender said cheerfully as he poured a glass and served the man his food.
The ale was very good and the bread and cheese quite exquisite. The man smiled and shook his head. "This has to be one of the nicest places I have ever seen throughout all my travels and I've been from one end of the land to the other!"
"Why thank you! I'm sure Lord Galen would be pleased to hear it!"
The man laughed. "Oh, I doubt he'd much care about a single traveller passing through is town."
"On the contrary, human," a voice said behind him, sounding amused. "I take interest in everything that goes on in my town."
The traveler turned and nearly fell off his stool at the sight of a dragon sitting before him, watching him with a bemused expression. He wasn't a huge beast by any means, about the size of a pony, covered in blue scales, with white horns that swept back from his head.
"W-what?" the man said.
"I'm Lord Galen, and this is my town!" the dragon replied, holding out a fore claw.
The traveler took the paw tentatively and shook it. "A dragon running a town...how extraordinary!"
The dragon snorted. "There was a small village here before and the place stank to the highest heavens. I didn't have the heart to drive the humans out so I decided to make it better and well...now I own the place!" the dragon said proudly.
"The people call me Lord and are proud of their town and it pleases me to be so! Most people have the sense not to bother a town protected by a dragon so we're quite safe. It's a wonderful arrangement, if I do say so myself."
The man nodded. "Well, I'd have to agree!"
The two fell into a conversation about trade (for the man was a merchant) and the law of the land when the dragon finally stretched himself out with a yawn. "Well, it has been a pleasure to speak with you but I have duties that I must perform!"
"Duties?" the man asked.
"Oh yes, right here in this very inn in fact!"
"Oh?" the man said, curious.
The dragon nodded and walked to the center of the inn, standing before the fire pit, and raised his wings. The crowd quieted down and watched with anticipation. "My fellow townspeople, we are honored to have a few guests with us this eve!" the dragon said, gesturing to the man and a few others.
The people turned and nodded, some applauding lightly and the man found himself blushing. The dragon nodded and continued "As you know, I address the town every evening from this inn as per our tradition!" The people nodded and the man saw a few glance over at him and he wondered what was up.
The dragon stood up tall and rested on his haunches, looking about the room with a serious expression. He coughed softly, then said in a clear voice, "Did you hear about the carpenters that formed a marching band? They called themselves the tuba fours!"
Most of the people smirked and looked away but the man, the other visitors, and several towns people burst out laughing and the dragon grinned.
"Ah ha! You have broken he law! Guard, seize them!"
"Wait, I!" the man started when two guards grasped his arms and started to haul him out the door. The dragon watched with a grin, then bowed, and everyone in the inn burst out into laughter, even the other townspeople who were being lead away to jail.
At the jail, the townspeople grinned and wrote their names down in a book, handing in their gold sovereign, and walking back into the night air, muttering about how they laughed at such a stupid joke and not believing they were caught.
The merchant watched all this and stood before the judge. "Just fill out your name and pay the sovereign," the judge said with a smirk.
"But...I don't understand!"
The man grinned. "The dragon used to take a tribute but people complained that he was just like all the dragons in the old stories, so he went to tax them and people complained about that too. So he made a new law: laugh at a dragon, go to jail. It's how they collect the money to keep the town going you see. Works out better for all involved and even with the stupid jokes he tells, or perhaps because of, the town has plenty of revenue."
The merchant stared at the magistrate for some time then burst out laughing.