Caught
#5 of a new direction
at the end of the last chapter Ryan's mother had just walked in on him and Stephen having sex.
"Ryan! no!"
The two couples stared at each other in horror, the first to break the stare was Ryan's mother, who ran from the room and upstairs. Ryan's father looked after her breifly then turned back to Ryan.
"I better go after her" He said flatly "you boys get dressed".
He turned and walked slowly after his wife. Stephen silently pulled out of Ryan, both of them now completly flacid. Still silent they began to get dressed. Stephen took Ryan's hand.
"Ryan, I'm sorry" he said softly.
Ryan stared blankly at the floor. His eyes turned up towards Stephen.
"What do we do now?" Ryan asked with a slight catch in his voice.
Stephen gazed at him sadly and said "I think it's time we were just honest".
Ryan nodded slowly. they didn't have to wait long, they heard footsteps on the stairs and Ryan's parents walked past, Ryan's father looked at them sharply and said shortly;
"Kitchen. Now.".
Stephen and Ryan trudged into the kitchen, Ryan tightened his grip on Stephen's hand as they sat at the table opposite Ryan's parents. yan's father was th efirst to speak.
"now," he started "it's quite obvious there's something between you two, why don't you tell us how long this has been going on"
Stephen spoke up "about a week".
"he wasn't talking to you" Ryan's mother snapped "you stupid slut! I bet you forced him into this didn't you!? Didn't you!?"
"Sarah.." Ryan's father started before he was interrupted.
"he didn't force me to do anything!" Ryan surprised his parents with the conviction of his statement "we love each other and nothing you say or do will ever change that!"
"But what about Nema? she's a lovely girl" Ryan's mother pressed, emphasising the word "girl" "And whats more she's a vixen!
You can't love a wolf." She spat the word "wolf" as if it were poison.
"Well we obviously won't be having children" Ryan shouted "so you don't have to worry about us polluting your perecious bloodline!".
Ryan's mother gasped "Don't ever say that! Andrew say something!"
Ryan's father tnought for a moment before saying quietly "Ryan, I understand, and it's up to you"
Ryan stared at his father in surprise, "thank you".
"What?!" Ryan's mother screamed.
"We can't tell someone who to love, it's not up to us". He turned to Ryan "But you must tell Nema next time you see her, you
can't keep her in a dishonest relationship, it's not fair."
"Ok dad" Ryan smiled "Well mum? What about you? Can you accept me for who I am or is this how you want me to remember you in years to come?"
Ryan's mother opened her mouth, then closed it again, at a loss of what to say. finally she looked Ryan in the eyes and said;
"I'm sorry, but I can no longer be the mother you need." with these words she stood up and walked from the kitchen. His father sent the couple an apologetic look at went after her.
"Ryan" Stephen sighed "I'm sorry, I never wanted to come between you and your mother, I'll understand if you want to end this."
Ryan's eyes widened in shock "No! Don't say that! Don't even think it! I love you more than I love her and if she can't
accept that then fine. I have no mother. Now come on, my parents know, i think it's time to tell yours."
Stephen smiled "your probably right, let's go."
Ryan absently walked with Stephen, not really knowing where he was going, not really caring. Ryan was full of conflicting
emotions, on the one hand his own mother had effectively disowned him and seemed to hate him for what he was, on the other hand now that his parents knew there was no longer the pressure of having to keep it a secret. As for the former, if his mother couldn't accept him then she was not worth thinking about. He was so deep in thought he didn't even notice when they arrived at Stephen's house.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Ryan asked with concern showing in his voice.
"It's alright" Stephen said "my parents are pretty liberal, i don't expect them to give us much trouble".
Stephen's trust turned out to be well placed, once over the initial surprise that Stephen had a boyfriend they were just happy for him. The only thing that dissapointed them was the fact that Stephen had kept it a secret from them. The two boys retreated to Stephen's room for a while to talk over the remaining problem,Nema.
"I just don't know what to say to her," Ryan said with sadness in his eyes "if i just break it off just like that I could just end up making things worse."
"you have to tell her sooner or later, it would be unfair to keep her in this relationship for too long, it's better you just get it over with."
"Ok, I'll tell her". Ryan conceded.
"it's for the best" Stephen smiled kindly.
"I'll phone her and organise to meet".
So he did. after their conversation Ryan left the room and half-walked half-stumbled to the kitchen to reach the phone. Numbly he picked up the phone and punched in Nema's number. The phone rang twice until it was answered by Nema's mother.
"hello?"
"hi, jill, can I talk to Nema?" Ryan put on a false cheery voice.
"Sure, just a sec" Ryan waited for what seemed like years until he was finally greeted with Nema's voice.
"Hi Ryan! How're you doing?"
"I'm fine, can I meet you, we need to talk." Ryan said, more gravely than he intended.
"Oh, OK, are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, really".
"OK then, do you want to come over, my parents are going out in a minute so we can talk in private."
"thanks, Nema, I'll be right over"
"OK, love you". the words were spoken lightly but it was as if she had stabbed Ryan in the heart. mercifully the only sound from the other end of the phone now was the dul tone that punctuated the end of the hardest phone call Ryan had ever made.
"are you OK?" a compassionate voice came from behind him and he felt Stephen's warm arms slip around him, and Stephen's lips moved over his neck.
"I'm fine, i should go and talk to Nema".
And so he left, the short walk to Nema's house allowing only a short time to think. Ryan had no idea what he was going to say to Nema, how was he going to tell her?. Ryan felt like his life was just one big soap opera. He didn't realise he had arrived until he was ringing the doorbell, that was a bad habit he was getting into. Unfortunatly it was Nema who answered the door, giving him no more time to think about what he was going to say. He felt awful, and Nema must have been picking up on this, her face was full of gloom.
"Hi Ryan, come in".
"Thanks".
They moved into the living room like they were going to thier execution. they sat down on opposite sides of the sofa. They sat in silence for a minute, until Nema finally broke the silence by saying;
"Do you want to tell me what this is about?"
Ryan sighed "look Nema, i really like you but I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you"
Nema lowered her eyes.
"It's just" Ryan started "I thought we were good together, but recently I've had different feelings"
"Ryan, just say it OK?"
"OK, the thing is.. this isn't easy to say so I'll be blunt...me and Stephen have been seeing each other for more than a week" Ryan said finally. Nema's eyes darted up in surprise.
"What do you mean "seeing him", you're not gay!" Nema was incredulous.
"Thats something else i had to say, I never knew in they past but I'vecome to realise that I am, in fact, gay".
"i see" Nema said sadly, she looked resigned.
"Nema, I'm sorry".
"I understand, it's not your fault, but if you don't mind I'd like to be alone".
"Thanks for understanding, I'll go".
"Just remember, no matter what, I'll always love you, goodbye Ryan".
"Bye".
Ryan couldn't leave fast enough, he went out the door and left without turning back. As he walked he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, what had he missed. Hadn't Nema sounded a bit odd when they talked, there was something about what she said that sounded so..final. Suddenly it hit him, he raced back to her house and burst through the door. He took in the scene bit by bit, the breadknife, Nema's wrists, the almost cartoon like amount of blood. He raced to the phone and called the emergency services.
"emergency services what service do you require?".
Ryan asked for the ambulance and gave them Nema's address. the ambulance arrived after what seemed like far too long. they took Ryan with them to the hospital and, after much argument, they agreed to allow him to wait with her while they tried to save her. In the end, however, he couldn't bear seeing Nema like that, so lifeless, and he had to leave. Soon someone came out from the operating theatre to talk to him, he didn't hear most of what they said but he could tell from his tone of voice, his expression and the odd snatches of conversation he heard.
"tried everything...too much blood loss...nothing anyone could have done...so sorry".
Ryan was sure he could actually feel on half of his heart leave the other, wither and die.
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