Gortoz 'A Ran - Ch 8 - Meant to be broken...

Story by MrGimp21 on SoFurry

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#9 of Gortoz 'A Ran


Sarah was very different whenever Mikaela wasn't around. Very outgoing, fun loving with a "happy go lucky" kinda personality. And I noticed I changed as well. I wasn't that timid anymore... I had a lot of self confidence, knowing I would kick some ass if anyone tried something with me. I might have even been a little arrogant... Bold and rebellious... But I guess those traits are the cause of puberty. I had a lot of friends during my high school period. I was one of the most popular girls in high school. And so was Sarah... Guys were starting to take interest in her for being so pretty... But maybe that's because she's more of a girly girl and I wasn't. I was more like a tomboy, doing guy things all the time and hanging out with Blain. But nevertheless, being with Sarah was always a lot of fun during my high school period... Can't say I always felt the same about the classes I followed...

The shrieking annoying beeps of my alarm clock awakened me from my peaceful sleep... "Gaah... 7:00 AM..." I punched the button on the alarm clock to shut it up and rolled over in my bed... I closed my eyes and got under the blankets while feeling myself drifting away into a relaxing sleep again until the shrieking beeps of the alarm clock made me snap out of it once more... In a reflex, I punched the button on the alarm clock once more and heard a loud thud. After hearing that, I was wide awake and noticed I smacked my alarm clock to the ground... "Shit...!" I picked it up to see if it had any damage... But after I placed it back on my night stand and felt the soft bed-sheets again... Those big fluffy pillows... "Five more minutes, I swear..." So I got back in bed and snug myself under the blankets and buried my face in my pillows... 'Ceylan!'

"Noooooo...! Leave me alone...!'

'Ceylan! Time to get up!'

"I can't hear you! I'm sleeping!'

I didn't respond to Catherine's sweet yet disturbing voice so early in the morning... A couple of moments after that, I noticed my door opened up... And Catherine walked in and gently nudged me... 'Wake up, sweetie... Summer vacation is over...'

'Mwhuh...'

All of a sudden, she opened the curtains and the warm sun shined right in my face. Normally, that's very nice to wake up to but not so early in the morning... Hehehe... My reaction was almost like a vampire being exposed to sunlight, except I didn't hiss... Hey, what can I say? I'm a tigress, a feline. It's in my blood to be lazy... But at some point, I had to drag myself out of bed by my tail or otherwise Catherine did. Trust me; she would if she had to... But I got out of bed nonetheless and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror and exposed my teeth... "Rawr..." I quickly brushed my teeth and splashed my face with cold water to wake up. But it didn't do the trick for me... My eyes still looked tired... But I got back to my room. I took my nightie off and put my jeans on and a top. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought that I looked kinda sexy and wondered why guys weren't interested in me... I didn't know what it was... Brushing my hair quickly and slowly made my way downstairs where breakfast was already waiting for me... Two croissants filled with ham and cheese, with chopped chive and a little bit of tomato ketchup, baked in the oven for about twelve minutes... Catherine always made that, and it's so simple to make, yet so delicious... I tried to make it myself but it's just not the same when she makes it... Those croissants got gobbled up very quickly... But those croissants didn't do much to raise the mood. A quarter to eight... I still had fifteen minutes left before I was supposed to leave for school, so I did what I always did. Watching TV for a bit. But sadly, time seems to go fast when you don't want to and goes slow when you want it to go fast... And when I had to go, I felt lead in my feet and slowly made my way towards the garden to get on my bicycle... Normally, it would take around 20 minutes for me to get there but that day, I didn't rush myself. I was driving very slowly to my inevitable doom...

Summer break was over one week after my thirteenth birthday. The week before, we had to pick up our schedules and books. But now, the real thing was about to begin. There were all sorts of directions to follow if you were qualified for it. There's LWO for the mentally retarded but from there on, you could only be smarter. VMBO, MBO, HAVO and MAVO... I had no idea what it all meant, but it's some verb or something. I was qualified to follow the direction of MAVO, of which the general direction was Trade and Administration. Oh sure, its fun if you want to be some office prick typing on a fucking computer all day. It's just not me to sit at a computer all day typing stuff... I wanted to be active, I wanted to stay busy and not to sit at the same spot all the time. But I've always been fascinated by technology... My dad once gave me an old, simple FM radio when I was young, and I was always amazed that something so small could play music and stuff. So one day, I asked a screwdriver to see what was in it. To see what made it so special. All I found inside there were circuit-boards, wires and capacitors, and I never could really make much sense of it, but I could stare for hours at it, guessing what it was and what it did. Imagine his surprised look when he noticed the radio taken apart by me... But even though I learned so many new things in high-school, I can honestly say my enthusiasm wasn't sparked because there were no electronic devices to take apart...

'How many of you know this symbol?'

He wrote this strange symbol on the blackboard. PI... Judging by the looks on everyone's faces, no one did... Every other new teacher introduced themselves when we first got to a new class. My math teacher did too, but he was very brief about himself. As soon as I saw the look on his face, I knew I wasn't gonna like him... His name was Mister Morgan... Some old basset hound guy who always wore a tweed jacket and trousers, which were way too short for him, exposing his white socks and wearing those brown moccasins. We thought he never was a popular teacher judging by his looks. His eyes looked around to each and every one of us, staring through those small glasses of his... But he didn't get an answer, even though I had a hunch of what it was... I looked at Sarah who was sitting next to me as she smiled nervously back...

'I see... Pi is one of the most important mathematical constants, approximately equal to 3.14159. It represents the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean geometry, which is the same as the ratio of a circle's area to the square of its radius. Many other formulas from mathematics, science, and engineering include PI... It is an irrational number, which means that its decimal expansion never ends or repeats. Beyond being irrational, it is a transcendental number, which means that no finite sequence of algebraic operations on integers, like powers, roots, sums, etcetera, could ever produce it. Throughout the history of mathematics, much effort has been made to determine PI more accurately and understand its nature; fascination with the number has even carried over into culture at large.'

Then he drew a perfect circle with a template on the blackboard, and wrote "PI=C/D"...

'Note that the ratio C/D does not depend on the size of the circle. For example, if a circle has twice the diameter D of another circle it will also have twice the circumference C, preserving the ratio C/D. This fact is a consequence of the similarity of all circles. Area of the circle = PI - area of the shaded square. Alternatively PI can be also defined as the ratio of a circle's area to the area A of a square whose side is equal to the radius.'

No one really understood a word of what he was saying... Like no one cared or something... I think he lost the attention of the class the moment he mentioned the words "most important mathematical constants"... I really love pie though... 'Another example.'

He wrote a lot of stuff down on the blackboard. When I looked around, I noticed most of the kids were whispering to each other and giggling, while some were doodling in their notepads... 'These definitions depend on results of Euclidean geometry, such as the fact that all circles are similar. This can be considered a problem when PI occurs in areas of mathematics that otherwise do not involve geometry. For this reason, mathematicians often prefer to define PI without reference to geometry, instead selecting one of its analytic properties as a definition.'

_"Don't you ever shut up...?"_I started to believe this guy had a really harsh youth... Sarah passed me a note and had a lot of trouble holding her laughter in... I noticed she passed a doodle of him pulling a really stupid face with big eyes, sniffing a butt... I couldn't help but to snicker quietly but it was so difficult not to burst into a hysterical laugh fit... You could hear everyone snickering quietly while Mister Morgan wasn't aware of it... Poor guy, first time he's ever trying to teach us something and already is being made fun of... I quickly passed the doodle on to the kid next to me and so, it got passed on to all the others... 'The formula is remarkable because it allows extracting any individual hexadecimal or binary digit of PI without calculating all the preceding ones. Most formulae used for calculating the value of PI have desirable mathematical-'

Then all of a sudden, someone burst out in a hysterical laugh fit... The whole class looked up surprised and looked at the guy who was laughing his ass off... He's a hyena so... It didn't really go unnoticed... You know how hyena's laugh, right...? Yeah, figured as much... Hehehehe... Mister Morgan wasn't the kind of guy who'd take shit from anyone... He wasn't that bad, but we weren't realizing back then. All we knew was that he was some geek who loved math and PI... He walked towards the hyena guy and stared at him... The whole atmosphere turned grim the moment he laid his eyes on that doodle... He picked it up and stared at it over his glasses... 'That's real funny... Who made it?' No one answered of course... 'Right... Do it again and I'll have you all in detention for the rest of the year.'

And then he continued to talk about his beloved PI while everyone stayed quiet... I looked at the time and only 15 minutes passed away... I almost fell down my chair because I was amazed of how slow the time went... I told myself that this couldn't possibly be happening, but it was... Slowly... Very slowly... He kept on blabbering for a long, loooong time... And at some point... 'You can all forget what I said about PI today, seeing as we'll start at the very beginning. Class dismissed and I'll see you on Thursday.' You could hear anyone sighing and moaning and I could read the minds of everyone. "Then WHY the FUCK did you bothered to tell us?!' Nonetheless, everyone made sure we got the hell out of that classroom as fast as we could...

The next class we had was social studies and our teacher was Miss Aguire. I guess she was around her early thirties and she's an otter. And she looked so pretty... I've seen a lot of otter girls in high school and for some reason, they all look so beautiful. Must be in their genes to be so beautiful. She's a brunette, with long hair that reached to her shoulder blades... Beautiful round curves and a gorgeous hourglass figure... Very nice legs... The way she smiles to the class... Every guy in our class was very fond of her... And one girl... Me... Oh, she was so gorgeous... I fell in love with her the moment I first saw her... She wore black jeans with black high heeled boots that day with a striped blue blouse... She stood in the doorway and smiled at us as we got in... All the guys stared at her in awe... Once we took our seat, she wrote her name down on the blackboard... 'Goodmorning everyone! My name is Rachel Aguire and I'll be teaching you social studies this year. I think I'll just start off by telling a little something about me. It's my second year as a teacher here at Ravensgate junior high.'

She told a couple of things about herself to get acquainted with each other. At some point, Miss Aguire wanted to get to know us... 'Let's make a round around the class and introduce you to the others. Tell us what your name is, where you come from, your hobbies or anything that you would like to share. Let's start with you.' We all introduced ourselves to her and she asked questions whenever someone mentioned something they like to do... When I said I was practicing Tae Kwon Do, her reaction was surprising and kept smiling when she asked me how long I've been doing it. She did that with everyone. I guess its part of social studies. Getting to know one another and what makes us unique... And at some point, we opened up our books and started at chapter one... As with the math teacher, she too wrote something on the blackboard first before she said anything... "Democracy"... She wrote... 'Democracy... A word some countries haven't heard in quite some years... Who can tell me what the definition is of a democracy?

No one answered of course... 'Come on, guys, give it a try. Otherwise you'll make me look bad.'

'... Freedom of speech?'

'Yes, good. That is a very important aspect of democracy.'

'The eh... Right to protest?'

'Yes... Good. Anyone else?'

'Elections!'

'Yes! Very good!' Bascially, the definition of democracy is "by the people, for the people". Take a look at the map. For this example, we'll use the Tohandakahr islands. It has come to be recognized as the oldest democracy on the planet. Joanne?'

'If it's a democracy, how come the map says Republic of Tohandakahr islands?'

'That's a very good question. Does anyone have the answer to that? Yes, Daniel?'

'Because eh... The caracals didn't believe in a monarchy unlike most cultures on the planet?'

'Almost, but not quite. Sarah?'

'Because the citizens elect representatives to make laws and decisions?'

'Very good! Democracy refers to a government chosen by the people, whether it is direct or representative. The term republic has many different meanings, but today often refers to a representative democracy with an elected head of state, such as a president, serving for a limited term.'

That was the first class that ever caught my attention. Not just because of the class that miss Aguire was teaching, but it was the way she was teaching it. She wasn't teaching with a stiff upper lip attitude but very relaxed and made sure everyone was involved in the discussions. I'd never imagined myself to say that I loved to follow her classes...

And then there was of course mister Malik Ndiaye. None one knew how to pronounce his last name... A crazy lion guy in his early thirties who had a passion for what he did. Teaching us something about history. Laid back, fun loving and had everyone's respect. He came all the way down south and had a funny accent whenever he talked...

'All of you know who you are. What you are. I look around the class and I see millions of years of evolution... I see an Acinonyx Jubatus...'

And then this kid looked at mister Ndiaye with big eyes while mister Ndiaye just smiled at him... 'W-Who, me?'

'Yeeees, you... Acinonyx Jubatus... That's just another name for a Cheetah.'

'Oooooh...'

'Lynx Canadensis... Aonyx Capensis... Canis Simensis... Lycalopex vetulus...'

He walked passed the first row of seats and named everyone fancy names of their species while everyone else gawped in awe at mister Ndiaye. When he reached me, he looked at me and smiled... 'And we even got ourselves a Panthera tigris amongst us...'

"Wow... I'm a Panthera tigris..." It was the way he said it that made me feel a little proud... But the name he used for me sounded so special for a reason... But what surprised me and everyone else was that he knew all those fancy names of our species...

'Millions of years of evolution... My goodness... But we had to adapt to an ever changing world... We adapted speech... Started to walk on two legs... Created civilizations and evolved to what we are today... So! When did we stopped growling, when did we stopped walking on four legs? How's it possible that our primitive minds only held our survival instincts and a couple of millions years later, we knew how to build houses and how to speak?'

No one said anything... I reckoned a speech therapy and playing with Lego's is how they learned it. But they didn't have that in prehistoric times... 'Evolutions takes millions and millions of years... So how is it that we learned all this, compared to all those million years, on a fairly short time? No one...? Not even a hunch?'

'Aliens! They injected us with stuff and made us smart!'

'Hehehehe... Might be plausible. Maybe one day, they find evidence and you'll be the first one to say "told you so!"

'Awesome!'

'But sadly, to this day, no one knows. It's called the missing link. Scientists are still figuring out the clues. But one thing is certain. We all evolved out of them.'

'So how come there are still animals in the wild...? Birds and... Well... Animals?'

'Good question. At some point in prehistoric times, several species in the Animalia kingdom began to separate and evolve independently. The two most notable groups are the Felidae and the Canidae from the order of the Carnivora, respectively felines and canines. Other species started to evolve separately as well, such as marsupials like kangaroos and Lutrinae, like otters and Mustelidae, like weasels, badgers and so on and so forth. But they evolved millions of years later. There always were separate groups of species that stayed primitive. Many of them went extinct when the felines, canines and other species evolved. And so, we grew apart from them. Losing our primitive instincts and every thing that connected us with our ancestors. The only things we have in common are our appearances. We are the dominant species on the planet. But still animals, nonetheless...'

Everyone was very quiet and we all stared at mister Ndiaye while he just looked around the class and smiled... 'Even though our primal instincts disappeared, our intelligence grew... But we still remained our survival instincts... Territorial drifts... We became dangerous... As well for ourselves as for the planet... For millions of years, we waged wars with each other... Whether it was a religious matter or a fight to satisfy our territorial drifts... That's a huge difference with the Animalia kingdom... You don't see hyena's waging wars with lions for countless of years... But sadly, we do...'

I knew all too well what he meant with that. I never saw animals waging wars on the open grass plains back in Salahadihn... We're supposed to be the dominant species on the planet, the most intelligent. And yet we act like fools... We often call the animals beasts... But maybe we should call ourselves the beasts...

I stared in blank space after that... After he mentioned the wars we were waging and it got me questioning about things. I kept thinking about the words he said. And for some reason or another, they stayed with me while I wasn't paying attention to the class anymore... The more I thought things over, the more I thought about the things that happened in Salahadihn. About my parents, about everyone I lost during the war... I didn't even notice the bell rang and that everyone else left... And then all of a sudden, I felt her hands on my shoulders... When I looked up, I noticed Sarah smiling at me... And just like that, everything floated off... And nothing ever happened...

But for the rest of the day, time seemed to go very slow. Way too slow... But the day at school had to end. Sarah and I were talking and laughing but the longer we were driving, the quieter it got... Sarah wasn't responding to anything I said to her... At some point, we reached the small intersection where we normally went our separate ways but Sarah stopped all of a sudden and pulled over... She looked in the direction to the road she'd normally take but didn't drove off... And then she stared down in blank space... And again, she wasn't responding to me... After it stayed silent for a while, she looked at me...

'Come on...'

'what?'

'Come on!'

'Where you going?! Hey!'

She took a left turn instead and drove off fast. Keeping up with her was difficult. And while we were driving, we saw the country side... Everything looked so flat with all the crop fields and the farms... The windmills in the distance... Driving so fast... I never imagined that everything looked so beautiful... The crystal clear lake near the hills with blossom trees reflected the beautiful blue skies with the fluffy white clouds... The soft warm summer breeze went over my muzzle... I looked at Sarah while she had a huge smile on her face... It seemed so surreal to witness all of these majestic and beautiful things even though I knew it always was right here for me to see. But maybe that's because she was with me that day... Maybe she made all of these things that look so normal and what we take for granted look so beautiful... I closed my eyes for a short moment and felt that overwhelming sense of freedom... A wonderful thing to feel... And when I looked at Sarah, I knew she felt the exact same thing...

We stopped at the cherry blossom trees and made our way up to a hill where we laid our bicycles in the grass... And once we got up, we saw the endless line of hills and the forest in the distance... I was free again... Free of all the worries I ever had, and even though it only was for about 30 minutes, it seemed like an eternity for me. Then I just let myself fall down in the grass, spread my arms and stared at the beautiful summer sky... Sarah laid down on the grass as well as it stayed quiet for a while... 'Thank you...' I said quietly...

'For what...?'

I never explained to her why I thanked her that day. But I thanked her for making me realize I was alive... To be with her... I felt so peaceful... So happy...

I have no idea how long the two of us sat there in the grass... We didn't talk... All we did was looking around... And to each other... I didn't know what I was feeling when I looked at her that day... I didn't know what these feelings did to me whenever I saw her smiling. I didn't know anything. All I know was that it felt wonderful... But at some point, she sits upright and stared in the distance... 'I don't want to go home...' she said quietly...

'Why not...?'

'My parents are never home... And whenever they are, I only see them for a short time... They wanted to have kids, but they don't want to spend time with them...'

'But you've got Mikaela, Kevin and Jason, right?'

'Yeah...'

It stayed silent for a while again... She was carried away in thoughts... She looked at me and there was something about her eyes that evening... She seemed so sad while she never was... 'But that's why I don't want to go home...'

'I wish Mikaela was my sister... She's very kind and a lot of fun...'

'She can be... She always cooks and takes care of us... But we always have to do something in return... And I don't want to... You don't live with her every day... And sometimes... Sometimes she hits me when I say I don't want to... She's always apologizing afterwards but it will happen again if I say to her that I don't want to...'

'Oh...'

'She takes these pills and... Invite her friends over and they do what she always does to you, Kevin and Jason... I don't want to... But she says I have to give something back for everything she did for me...'

'Don't you like it whenever she does...?'

'No... Do you...?'

'Kind of, I guess... Sorta... I don't know...'

It stayed silent for a long time... I took my ballerina's off and wiggled my toes in the cool grass... But Sarah kept staring right in front of her... And at some point, she looked at me again... 'Ceylan...? Do you love me...?'

'Of course I do... You're my best friend...'

'Even if I don't want to have sex with you...?' she asked me quietly...

'Yeah...'

We gave each other a cuddle and kept sitting in the grass for a while. But at some point, we had to go... We got on our bikes again and made our way to that intersection again... We stopped when we reached the small intersection and said our goodbyes. We would see each other the next morning... But Sarah had a lot of difficulty to peddle forward... I watched how she left until she was nothing more but a dot in the distance... And then I turned left and made my way home...

To me, it felt as if we took a vow that day that was never meant to be broken. To stay together no matter what would happen. It might've been so innocent at the time but when I think of it again, I realized that I meant more to her as a friend than I could've ever imagined... It seems strange to realize how naïve and oblivious I was at the time. But it's something you don't think of, especially at the age of thirteen... All I could think of was what made her so special... Or why she was so special... Sarah meant more to me than Mikaela while Sarah and I never had sex... So how come she became so special...? How come I was thinking of Sarah at night and not thinking of Mikaela...? After all, Mikaela said I was in love with her... I vowed myself I'd never leave them... But I guess some vows are meant to be broken...