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ZCOPS

A Zootopia television script

By Dan 1966

© Zootopia. Disney Animated Studios 2016

For fandom enjoyment only. No monitary gains sought nor desired. All rights respected.

ACT 2

Scene fade in from black

Scene fade into Z COP logo and then into scene.

Scene Location: Downtown Zootopia, Acacia Street

Scene: Judy and Nick are in a room at an Inn on Acacia Street where Nick is getting dressed to look like a "Solicitating" Vixen.

Judy Hopps (voice): I'm Lieutenant Judy Hopps. I've been with the ZPD going on four years now. My partner is Officer Nick Wilde who's been on the force close to three and a half years now. What we're getting ready to do is a sting for animals looking to "solicit" services from a "street walker".

Scene: Judy is tying up a corset around Nick's waist.

Judy: That's as kind a description I can give you about this. Nick gets picked for this operation mostly because he's a fox and he was probably the most experienced street hustler in Zootopia before he became a cop.

Nick: You're so kind carrots.

Scene: Nick raises his hands as Judy works to attach a set of fake breasts on Nick's chest.

Nick: The most solicited animal in Zootopia is a vixen, mostly because we foxes are notoriously vane about our fur, especially our tails. I swear I spend more money on perk products for my tail than anything. What female foxes, especially young ones, are made to do for some people absolutely get me snarling. Some animals actually get a "jolly charge" from a naked vixen around their neck or cuddling and snuggling them....it is absolutely degrading for a tiger to be wearing a naked and shivering vixen around his neck like some piece of damn bling. There's worse. We've found vixens "bob tailed". I don't like dressing up as a vixen but if it nails some dirt bags and gets some young vixens out of this abuse? I tolerate the embarrassment.

Scene: Judy helps Nick into his clothes and works on the make up.

Judy: So.....there's three of us tonight. Officer Jackson is in the lobby right now. We won't call him in unless we get an animal we can't handle ourselves in the take down phase of the plan. Usually when you get this big Bengal tiger coming out with a truncheon, you won't keep resisting.

Scene: Nick looks at himself in a mirror and shows a piece of neck bling.

Nick: This is a voice changer device that'll turn my voice "drippy" meaning it'll cause serious drool when I start talking. The plan is to sucker the animals looking for a solicit to follow me into the lobby where myself and carrots will take them down. Or we'll get super lucky and nail a "solicitor" who might think he or she is big and bad enough to drag me into their car.

Scene: Nick starts walking out onto the street to start the sting while Judy in plain clothes walks to a place where she can cover Nick in case he needs help. Judy will move to the Inn when Nick attracts a "John" and nail the animal when they come through the lobby door.

Nick (voice): So the trick is to wiggle rump, wag the tail and look cute enough to attract an animal looking for a solicit. We've seen em as small as otters to as large as horses and Zebra but I've yet to see something like a rhino or an elephant; that just doesn't happen with your very large land walkers.

Scene: Nick goes into his act. He's on a wire radio to Judy.

Judy (radio): Nice panties there Nick.

Nick (radio): What are you watching for?

Judy (radio): Why don't you turn on "Dale Dorse the amazing horse" on WZ00 FM 200 and get it on? Wag that tail girl! Work that rump!

Nick (radio): Want me to forget I'm a vixen and kick your cotton tail Hopps?

Judy:(radio) Mmmm...you're turning me into a lez-bun-bun I swear.

Scene: We see a car slowing down as it comes closer to Nick.

Judy (radio): Looks like he's interested.

Nick (Radio): It's an antelope.

Scene: We watch the interaction between the antelope and Nick from a distance. It's all on radio.

Nick: Hi sugar.

Antelope: Hi sweety.

Nick: You lookin for some fun?

Antelope: What's your specialty?

Nick: Cuddles and snuggles...you wanna wear me around your neck? Wanna rub my furry self all over you?

Antelope: That and more you cute thing.

Nick: Ok....I have a room at the Inn over there. How about six hours for a hundred or three hours for thirty? Antelope: Three hours sounds nice.

Scene: Nick blows the antelope a kiss and walks towards the Inn.

Scene: We see Nick walk into the lobby with the antelope. Judy jumps out of a chair and pulls a taser and a badge. Nick also pulls his own taser and a pair of cuffs.

Judy: Sir! You're under arrest for illegal solicitation! Get against that wall, hands on your head, spread the legs!

Antelope: Damn cops.

Nick: I'd shut up moron. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. If you can't afford a lawyer, a public defender will be provided at your expense.

Antelope: Don't you look cute officer?

Scene: Nick smiles then kicks for the uprights and puts the antelope on the floor.

Nick: Oops....I missed that fly. I really should stop trying to Karate Cub flies.

Scene: Officer Johnson comes into the lobby to drag the antelope into a room.

Judy: The Inn Keeper is nice enough to keep the first floor rooms empty so we can use them as temporary cells until the chuck wagon arrives to haul them off to jail.

Scene: Nick returns to his place and struts his stuff again. It's not long before another car shows up....somewhat hilarious....it's a mouse car.

Nick (radio): Are you seeing this?

Judy (Audio): Tell me I am not seeing this?

Scene: Nick bends down to speak with the mouse who's climbed upon the sidewalk from his small car.

Mouse: Hey there Vixy Chick-zee

Nick (radio): Hey there....what are you looking for?

Mouse: A snuggle and some tongue action....if you get the drift?

Nick (Radio): Are you sure? I mean....really?

Mouse: What? You got a problem with my size?

Nick (Radio): I'm just a little concerned because you're so small and you're asking a lot that's not.....

Mouse: Let me ask you vixy? Do you need the money? Trust me, my tongue can do you wonders.

Judy (Radio): Just take him right there Nick.

Scene: Nick picks the mouse up in his hands and rubs his snoot all over him.

Nick: (Radio): You're right...I do need the money. How long do you want?

Mouse: I'll give you sixty bucks for four hours.

Nick (radio): Ok.....but first? I'm a police officer and you're busted for solicitation there Jerry boy.

Scene: Nick suddenly shakes his hand and arm then fox dives for the pavement.

Nick (radio): YOU LITTLE BASTARD! HE BIT MY HAND!

Scene: Nick comes up with the angry mouse by the tail as Judy comes running over with an evidence bag in her hand...

Judy ( radio): SIR! STOP THE STUPID RESISTING OR I'LL THROW YOU IN THIS SEAL TIGHT BAG TILL YOU PASS OUT!

Mouse: THIS IS ENTRAPMENT!

Nick: (radio) You're the one talking up the expert tongue! Sheesh those teeth smart!

Mouse: Hope I gave you rabies you stupid cop!

Judy (radio): You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. If you can't afford a lawyer, a public defender will be provided at your expense. Now I advise you to shut your stupid squeaky trap!

Scene: Judy walks off with the mouse in her glove protected hand as Nick stands tending to his own hand.

Nick (radio): Little cheese sucker. Damn they have sharp teeth.

Scene: Nick returns to his walking around and soon he attracts another animal.

Nick (radio): Carrots? Here comes a tiger. Tell Johnson to get ready? We're not going to take down this guy without tasers and tiger claws.

Scene: The car stops and Nick begins to do his push.

Nick (Radio): What can I do for you kitty?

Tiger: What could I do for you is the question sweet cakes.

Nick (Radio): You can give me a dose of your tiger hormones there you feline stud.

Scene: Just then the back door of the car flies open and a panther jumps out and snatches Nick up!

Judy (Radio): We have a snatch and grab! Johnson!

Scene: Judy pulls her 9mm handgun and is in a run by the time Nick is pulled into the car. The loud sound of an air gun going off is Nick's own taser/dart gun shooting the panther in the back seat. The car peals out just as Officer Johnson shows up with a shotgun. He blasts a steel slug into the engine block disabling the car. Johnson runs to the driver side and puts the shotgun to the other tiger's head.

Johnson: GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE NOW! GET OUT OR I'LL SHOOT YOUR STUPID HEAD OFF! DO IT NOW!

Scene: The Tiger flops out of the drivers seat as Nick stumbles from the back seat as Judy runs up to him.

Judy: Nick! Nick....you alright?

Nick: Yeah...I nailed the panther in the neck.

Scene: Judy climbs into the car to cuff the panther while Johnson slams the driver down on the hood.

Johnson: Wilde? You ok?

Nick: Oh yeah....when Tony the Tiger there saw his partner get tagged in the neck, he panic'd. I'm good.

Scene: Nick walks over to the driver and pulls out a picture.

Nick: Carrots? This is the guy the Chief marked for us.

Scene: Nick reaches for the items pulled from the driver's clothes and snags the car keys.

Nick: Just going to do a quick rifling through the car.

Scene: Nick opens the trunk and suddenly starts running at the driver when Judy catches him...

Judy: NICK!

Nick: YOU SICK DIRT BAG! YOU BASTARD!

Judy: NICK! CALM DOWN!.........Johnson...get that piece of dirty cat feces out of here?!.....

Scene: We see why Nick is so upset when he goes back to the trunk and starts pulling fox vixen kits (cubs) from the trunk of various young ages from a toddler to a young teenager. He pulls tape off their snoots and wrists.

Nick: You're all ok now...

Scene: Nick flashes his badge and hugs all the kits as Judy picks one up.

Judy: (voice) When we come across something this sick? It makes us want to try even harder to put an end to it. There's some real sick dirt bags in Zootopia but that's why we do the job we do every day.

Scene fade to Z COP logo

Nick: Someone has to put up with the stench to take the trash out.

Scene fade to black.

Start background music: COPS theme

End credits roll

black

end of episode