FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

To those that look and / or those that are patient with me; here!

Here is my offering. It is purposefully written in dialect, I will post it in three or four sections, because oh! it needs the editing done, oh- yes, ...the editing ... (it burns)

The story of a Bull, telling us of his yearnings and his pain, a'cause he's smart, he is. He's not stooopit, (stupid with 3! O's-- extra stupid!) Well, he's not!

I will at some point post the photo that shows him, the fox? He's real, he is! There was a real inspiration for the story, but it is based on a "real feral fox" Gorrrnn, an' he were so cute, he were! Me heart fairly went out to him, all moth-eaten as he was. Poor bloke, ...

This is dedicated, with affection, to the two longest- on-line friends I have. It's Just a story. It's got a few words that I didn't know before I had to deal with them, here's one; Con-ex. Container Express -- It's those containerized freight that you see on the ships in and out of San Francisco Harbour in the movies. I had to figure it all out, an' I did, you see? 'Cause I'm not stupid. See?

Bull an' Fox

I'm a bull.

Me name's Kevin, I'm a longshoreman. Ya' see?

I unload all a' te boats what comes inna th' docks to us, shiftin' the con-exs. Not by hand, mind you-- nuffin's doon a-hand,-- not n'more. It's all computers, see?

I'm big an' I'm strong from using the chain-falls, and rope hoists an' a' that. But ah'v moved up in position, see? I'm inna crane rig, I sit all day inna cab, and I move stuff wif me crane as has to come off the ships.Ya' see? So I'm sittin' all damn day. But it's steady work, I like it, and I'm good at me job. I can picture how the con-ex's will fit together, picture it in my head. Ya' see? But, yeah, it is still sitting, wif me butt planted inna chair all damn day. So, I'm not so trim as I was a'for, but I'm not fat. See?

Well, I'm NOT!

O.K. as I could stand to loose a few-- I am a few stone over. It's just a little bit of a roll, as what happens a' bloke as turns a few years. An naturally I'm big, I come in at a little over 17 stone, I'm a bull! But I'm not FAT!

Well, ...I'm NOT!

But I us'ta' be real trim. Us'ta have a nice tuck waist, but that was when I was on't boats- shiftin' stuff wif chain-falls. We don' do da' now. Na'... everthin's done a-comput'r now, heck, I don't even look at what I'm lifting, it's all on th'monitor, the comput'r screens. Is' all robah'tized, now, ...see? I decide which con-ex I want t' pick-up next, I aim the claw-- and down it goes, picks that one it does, an'nen I drop it, ... where do you want it? Onna flatbed truck, onna flatbed traincar, innta th' hold f'r another ship t' ship out. An' ah' do it right! See?

I'm not stupid.

I've met some dumb longshoremen, and I've met some smart ones. Longshoremen's not all stupid.

And I'm not stupid, ... See?

Well, I'm NOT!

I'm smart! Me sister showed me how to do all kinds of stuff, -- course that was all before the that big virus went through where so many died, an' she was called to crossed the bridge.

But Harnsmuth's a port town, and lots of docks, an' naturally lots of boats havin' stuff what wants to be off 'em. It's going here, or there, and I'm right smart about me work.

An' bein' a longshoreman isn't about bein' smart nor stupid, ... It's about moving th'frieght. You move th'freight, and ya can move up inna Union. I'm operatin' the

crane, now! ...See?

I'm that smart! See? I'm movin' up!

Ya, see? We're long shoremen, an' we move da freight. Jobs over when the boat's unloaded. So there's workers swarmin' all over th' boat off-loading incoming,

and on-loading what is goin' out. Twenty-four hours, till it's done. See? That's the job, round the clock, three shifts in a day.

I work th' afternoons, second shifts this year. I'm down t' th' docks from three to eleven at night.

I'm a steady fellow, I steer clear of trouble, and me strawboss likes me,... he does.

I work hard, and I'm strong.

And I'm smart, see? I think about what I'm doin', an'nen I do't.

He likes me, the strawboss does, 'cause I work hard and I don't do stupid stuff. I don't pull pranks on the other blokes, I don't get in fights with any t'wolves or who is down t' the Pubs. Well, not n'more. 'Cause I'm steady, see? Ya see what I'm sayin' ? He knows as he can count on me. Say he needs someone to work half a shift extra, or maybe a double. He knows if he comes to me an' asks, I'll say, "Sure, glad ta' have it, Glad t' pick that up, and help." And he trusts me to stay sober. I don't drink on the job. I don't even snack, 'cause we're not allowed to have any food nor drink innta the cab with us.

An see? That's how it all started. One day I am minding my own business and of a sudden--- Boom! That! is when it happened te me, ... see?

And it comes time for me supper, that's at 7:00 p.m. and I'm eatin'. He comes t' me, the Strawboss does, an' he says, "Hey, me Bully-Boy! Can ya'?" An' he looks at me, "Got double shift. Can ya'?"

An' I say, Oh, yes, Sir! Yes I can!

So I'm pullin' a double shift, I've had me supper, and come the third shift and they get supper- like em' all, and ever'one brings out a supper, but me see. There's a caffeteria, but only for shifts one and two, see. It's closed up for the third shift, who wants to be cooking at midnight? ... They've all just come on an' brought their supperes, and all. Only I haven't gone out to buy one, and I've got paper work to fill out. I'm not old, mind you, I'm not old.

...Well? I'm NOT!

But I'm doin' me paperwork, a'cause I will someday. I'm not ready for it now, cause I'm young, yet. But someday I'll want that.

So, I'm fillin' out me papers to turn in, an ever'ones eating their supper, see? An' a buddy t'me says, "Aye, Kevin. Pulling two tonight, are ya?"

"Yes I am, it's two I have, it is."

"You've gone an' e't yer supper what you've brought, already, an' you with no dinner' to hand, eh?" he says. And I allow as, "No, didn't know I was pulling double tonight, surprize from the strawboss." See, I'm smart, had I a'known that it was t'be a double, I'd a'made double fer me supper. But I didn't, so I had nowt t' eat, an I'm doing paperwork as needs be done. See?

An' Duncan, Bless 'im, says, "Here!" An' he stuffs a sandwich in'na me hoof and walks. He's as strong healthy an' handsome bloke as you could have for a friend, he could'a eatin' it, but he gives a half t'me cause we're inna Union together, what watches out for a mate.

Well, I'm shoulders-high in papers, so I stuff it inna me jacket pocket, for later, an'nen th' whistle goes off, and so it's up inna th' cab f'r me for the rest of the shift.So, after workin' all night, it's most of 6:30 with the dawn shining up, and the clouds all limned in gold, an' after punchin' th' clock I'm walking out to the carpark, to me car, ...

And then that's... when, ... ...when, ...

(*sob*)

N' at's when I see 'im! See?

But, ....Oh, My Dear Greenman! (*sob*)

There he was! This fox, see? In'na road, standin' there. (*sniff*) Oh, gorrn he looked so bad! .... He was standin' inna road, as he was crossing when I saw him. I must'a start'led 'im. He looked AWEFUL, he did, muddy, and dirty, and hair all a-mess. An' you could tell he was not a 'feral', but a 'real' fox, cause he was bigger, and walkin' upright, and he carried himself like he could'a had some pride. But caught crossing, 'e just stared and looked at me.

(*sniff*)

It would like ta' break your heart to look at him; him all so scrawny, his fur all moth-eaten... (*sniff*) First, it was in clumps and what wasn't in'ta clumps was matted and knotted, and mud on 'is tail, and it looked like as he had fleas, and ticks, and mange, nor his hair brushed or nothin'!

He was half starved! He was! An' sooo skinny; it hurt me to look at 'im, see. An' he as could'a been handsome with some care! An' I could tell he were that skinny, see? Cause he didn't have na' clothes on. See? An' so, I could tell -- you know, that he was a lad. I saw him, as I had to look.

Cause I had to look, ... you would'a too, to see him. He was just that pathetic looking I couldn't look away!

Now, I'm not queer, See?

I'm not!

I don't go for guys. It's I knows some of 'em, an' they're ok, but not for me, see?

But this fox, he was like he was starvin' half to death,... But still so handsome, so -- noble like.

I'm not a sentimantal type, see? I'm not! I don't cry when there's a funeral, or in th' 'ospital when a mate's been in a fight down t' the Pub an' is cut up really bad, OK? I'm tough, see? But Oh, gor,.. (*sob*) He looked so BAD!! A stuffed fantod in yer attic that the moths have chewed on looks better than he did, it would.

An' he was so handsome, me heart fairly went out to 'im.

But for all that, he was soooo skinny, it almost made me... made me ... me 'cry' to look on him. (*sniff*)

Now, I wasn't startled to see him there. I work at the docks, and there's a big security fence about the whole of the place, so as stuff dunn't just walk away, see? An' in the woods surrounding the place, is a lot of ferals and runaways, and those as wants th' free life; not inna house, or nothn', but out free. There's squatters here, livin' in ta' woods. Bucks and does, and a'couple a wolves, and the foxes what hangs around em'. And generally ya' don' see 'em. They keep their own company, and they have cook-fires, and huts, or tents, an stuff. They keep to themselves, and don' bother nobody, they go to their jobs and it's all ok, they just live out in the woods, see. It's not bad, I mean I've been camping, you've been camping. It's alright, OK? Execpt for the no runnin' water, an' no 'fridge. But this fox, ...this fox, see? He looked so damn awful, just crossin' the road, and I see him,-- and he sees me lookin' at him, like. See?

An' me heart fairly broke to look 'im. It was that sad, it was. But that's when I had this idea, See?

I'm not stupid!

I remembered, I've got this sandwhich, pocketed, what hasn't been eaten yet! See? Ya' followin' me, here? I've got a sandwhich, an' 'e looks like 'e's starving to death! An he was so good looking, ...oh-- gor he war a 'andsome one, he was. But he looked so bad, and to have no clothes, an' not even be brushed or even washed, .... I mean you couldn't see hardly anythin' cause of the fur, and I wasn't looking there anyways,... Cause I'm not a queer.

But me heart hurt me, an fairly broke, -- ta' see anyone in such sorry straits.

So I says to 'im, " Hey! Hey, ...I've go a sandwich, if you want, ...? I took the sandwich outta me pocket an' I looked at what it was, so's I could tell me "Duncan," Thanks! and know what it was he gave me. Ham, cut most an inch thick, and that cheese, ... the soft one-- with the little triangles in it, it tastes like angels made

it; havva ... hagga ... Hagarty, er summat. It's wonderful!

An I say, "If you want,..." An' I held the sandwich out to him, ...

He was hestitant at first, like, maybe he warn't all that comfortable with strangers, 'e looks up from the road he's crossing, and he looks at th' sandwich, and then at me, an' he almos' smiled. An' he came just a few steps closer.

An' I saw ... his ... face, *whines* OOooohhh Goooorrrrnn,... *Sob*

Soooo skinny, he was! And I could tell it warrn't cause a' him bein' a thin built, he warr starvin', he was! It near hurt, inside a' me! And I walked toward him, all slow like, until he backed a step, and that's when I tossed it to him. He reached out t' catch it, and on purpose, let it drop. And he looked at it, then picked it up after he seen that it was safe, suspicious like, an' he looked in the bag to sniff at it, ...an the smile ... The smile!

He smiled that big he did, that my heart felt lighter, the rest of the day, it did.

He run off, then. Run off inna t' bushes, with the sandwich clutched to 'im, he ran.

Oh, gorrrn, he was so 'andsome, see? It fair touched me inna heart. And I'm not sentimental or nothin'. See?

But I'm smart, I am!

I was walkin' up to me car, when I came to the second idea of the day. I was gonna see if I could fatten him up, so he looked healthy, see? I'm not stupid. I could see that he was having a hard time with his life. So if I bring him somethin' extra that there is to eat, then I know 'e won't starve. An' I could talk to him, and maybe make a friend, see? So the next day, I make extra,-- two sandwiches,-- and pack 'em inna me supper with an extra apple. It's for 'im, see? I 'us gonna make friends with him. A new friend is a good thing for th' heart, OK?

And a friend's something that you've never too many of.

So after work, I'm onma way, out to the car park, and I don't see him, but that's f'r nowt, I ken he's inna bushes, ...

So there's a tree, what had fallen down across th' road, and they've moved it, so's to allow the cars out from the carpark. I sets the sandwiches on the tree trunk, and I walk away. I'm smart, see? I know how to make a friend. I'm listening with one ear, and I'm walkin' away, and I of a sudden, turn. There! He's over to the tree getting the sandwiches. And I smiled.

He's seen me, once, and he got a sandwich.

Then, he sees me, again, and he gets TWO sandwiches, and an apple.

See? I'm smart, I'm conditioning him. He's getting "Conditioned", an I'm doing that to him. Just so I can talk to him, only.

I'm not going to hurt him. He is as needs a friend, and some food, an someone to take a bit of care for him. I dinn't want him for nothing, but to talk to.

I'm not queer!

And so I start doing that, ever'day some food; a sandwhich, maybe two, and some fruit.

So, I start with two sandwiches on the end of the tree trunk, which I put there as I eat my supper. But I'm on the tree, too, see? Only at the other end, and I stay sittin' there an' I eat me supper an' all, drink the hot tea, cause the Do-er can keeps it hot, see? That's what a Do-er does, it keeps the "hot" -- in the "hot tea." I'm not Stooopid, ... Well, I'm NOT!

An' there I am, an' I finish me supper, and then I go, off to work, ---and as I go-- I pick up just one of the andwiches! I walk away with it! So he can see that he coulda had two sandwiches, but he'd a hadda come out to get both -- see? Only he wanted to stay hidden, so he only gets one sandwhich today. And the time I come by next is when I get off-a work, an' I see the sandwich.. is ..not ..there, it's gone. Right? So I go home and the next day I bring three sandwiches, and set them on the trunk, and sit at the other end. I eat my supper, and I hear summat in the rushes. And I can see the rough outline of someone. But he doesn't come out. But he's so hot for it, I can hear him breathin' -- panting in the bush. But he don't come out for it. I finish eating alone on the tree, and pack up. But I pick one up as I go by.

So I take off shopping in the big city the next Satyrday, I'm not there at all,-- I'm off shopping in town, right?

Next day I show up with three sanwiches, and I put two down at the other end and I sit there and eat my ones, and I can see him, and he can see me. An' we're looking at each other. He sees them but I'm at t'e other end o th' tree, and he figgures he can get it and get away, quick as a fox. See? So he jumps out and snags them and runs back into the bush. Only as he grabs them he says, "Hey! Ta." and he looks right at me and dips his ears and his head, and is sudden gone. And this goes on a couple'a days til he'll sit on the end of the trunk and stuff his maw with me sandwiches, while I'm eatin' mine. We're eating in a congenial atmosphere, together, with nowt much to say, but pass the time with food in each other's company, see? Me of my end of our log, him of his.

And on one day, it's sandwiches, fruit, and a comb an' hair brush. So he can clean up, and look respectable.

And on another day, it's sandwiches, fruit, and shampoo, or bar o' soap.

I come back to sit there for me supper then, every day, the whole week. But the next Monday, and when he shows his nose; only instead of having the sandwiches at the end of the trunk, he sees them toward more in the middle of the trunk, and he fidgits for a while, and then runs out to them, nodds and runs back.

He's looking fine. If nothin' else his fur was looking good, and I gave him a pair of jeans and a shirt, and a pack of undies to wear, so he wouldn't have to go without clothes. You know? If he didn't want to, I mean.

And so it goes on like this, until he sees that he does better with the food, if he's willing to take the chance with being near me, and I'm not making any sudden moves, I don't stare at him, see what I'm doing? And I'm right pleased to see that he's all brushed up nice, and it's like he'd been havin' baths an' all, dressed up as he was, inna clean shirt, and clean troos, and his tail all brushed an' fluffy-like.

Oh, he were handsome, he was!

And slow, like, he's all shy and willin' to talk to me, but he's most not saying much, cause the squatters, they are real ven ... vunla ... fragile, not being able to trust their comrads too close, ... An' we started talking, and I found that he'd be doing really really well -- when he got beat, beat bad. That's when he lost his job inna bookstore. And then he was doing a little better, he was workin' nights over doing summthin', til someone stole his backpack, with his clothes, and money, and all. That's when it all went pearshaped on 'im, he didn't have no one to help with stuff. And then, me feeding him was like something good happening after all that. Like his luck was turning.

And I felt better for havin' helped him. But we were meeting almost every day. And he'd sit with me, and I felt like I was helping someone!

So everyday we meet at me suppertime, and once a week, I bring him summat to wear, or a thing that he might need; a thing of big plastic bags to keep his stuff dry, a comb, a shirt, more pants,... and he's wearing shirts an' jeans and he looks thin-- but, you know, really fine. He was still all skinny, but his fur was clean and all brushed out.

And so the fox an' I are meeting any day it's not raining. I'm not of a mind to eat me supper in'na rain, I can tell you plain, on that. But the fox, I tell him what me name is and he tells me his name; his name's Timothy. And he thinks about that for a minute and you know, it sounds all formal and everythin' like that and to make it more friendly like.

N' he says, 'You can call me Tim.'

I smiled. I liked that.

An' see? He's trustin' me, now, and that a fair amount. Am I doin' this right, hunh, ..am I?

Am I?? I am!

I don't fight. ... I don't!

Well, not so much any more. I live alone, see? An' it was a small but happy family I had, until the sickness. The virus carried off almost a fifth of the population, and took my sister with it. Took almost two weeks for her to cross the bridge. Sad long time that was.

An' me folks as what was caring for her, well,... it was like the lights went out. I mean we all got sick, we was all sick with it, and folks dying, and not enough coffins for burying them's as crossed over the bridge, and not enough wood for burnin' the bodies, and in that winter, what was so cold as you can't even imagine, those folks to our block of houses as had crossed over was just stacked like wood until the thaw. Modestly in sewn shrouds an all a that.

But, Oww!! It was a hard time, it was.

And me Mum and Da, they just lost all reason for going on. Da wasn't doing well, after. And he got sick again, with pneumonia, and Mum tending to 'im, and as was needed, well, she wore herself down to nothin' and she crossed over after her heart gave out. Da got all better, but it was too hard for him with just him and me, an' me being at work all the time keeping house and hearth together. An' 'e crossed over just a month shy of Mom's First Year Honoring Ceremony. So it's just been me livin' there. It's all paid for an all. Nowt but the groceries and clothes, and stuff on my account. It was like a 'ome for me, but was all empty, like. It needed more'an just me rattlin' about, alone to home.

Me! In a big old house, all to meself was what it was!

But I was young an' hangin' of an evening in'na a Public House, and tippin' a few back with me work mates. It was generally a good time, but, we're longshoremen, an' sometimes, someone picks a bit at one what has had a bad time that day, and there's some ill will picked up, an' all. One time a bloke, a Puli, new to the docks, was buyin' us a couple'a pints, see? And after a few, he sees that I'm drinkin', but not fast enough as to be to his liking. An' I'm a bit of, "No, I drink like I like, an' not to please you!" An he calls me a tyrant. Me! A tyrant! Well, I told him as he didn't need my permission to think that, but he might not say it to me face. An he swung his drunk fist at me, and I pushed him back, and he fell into sittin' into a chair. Aoooww 'e didn't like that, much, yeah, he didn't! He proclaimed I was "A Tyrant", and he was Death to tyrants, and he swung at me an hit me chest, and I told him, "None of that I'll have from you, I'm a union Bull, and a Bully-Boy, and ta' hell with ya!"

Well, he charged at me with a chair held up over his head.

Told me later, me mates did, that I'd broke his arm in two places, and dislocated his elbow. Oooww, the Bull Steward was none too happy with me, after that. I got no double shifts for a bit. But I'm a steady lad and work hard, and he didn't keep a grudge after the Puli was out of the hospital. He didn't come back with us he didn't. And I was glad for all that, he'd been found out for stealing stuff out the con-ex's, he was. An went off to gaol, I heard he did.

But after that I didn't spend my time inna the Pubs, a'more. Nay, was not fun, not so much fun, of an evenin'. An I kept to meself, a bit after that.

And this is happenin' of a weeks into it, it is, into me getting' him conditioned, he's looking better you know, and I've noticed as he's all brushed out now, and he's fed up lookin' not all peaked, but a bit, ... you know,... good, looking like he was healthy if not well fed, his fur was shiny, and clean, what with bathing and brushing and some shampoo. I'm bringin' him stuff, as what he's needin', and he knows he's to sit on the tree trunk and talk to me, while I have me supper. He'd been using soap and shampoo that I'd been getting him, and givin' 'im, as a reward for keeping supper time with me. I was finding him an affable dining companion, ya see? If e' wasn't real chatty, I could tell him about what I was unloading, or loading, or what I was up to of an evening.

In the intervening months, e's come to see what I'm about, I've gotten so as he knows, he does, that he can trust me not to pull no tricks, pranks, nor jokes to his account, that I'm up an' square with him about what I'm about. See? I've got the fox so he knows about me, an' me about him. An' I've told him the truth 'n all. About me parents crossing the bridge, and me sister -- an' all what she taught me, and him all about his family over on the other side of two rivers, the far side of the little one, next up the coast, after the great river Harmsmuth, ... Him with cousins an' all.

And then one of the old crane mechs down to the shop, he was getting ready to move. Him being old enough to not need to care for so big a house, an he had a tent, he says. He says, "Hey, me Bully-Boy, I'm getting older now, and I'm not out of doors as much. Are you knowin' a home to put this old camping stuff I need a place for, since I won't need use it, again?" And I pause, as if I'm thinking, but I've got it all planned out by now, see?

"Oh, yes, I believe I do, Alex. I do!"

I'm smart, I am. And I have a plan.

I've got for him more stuff over ta' th' Circle store, and almost all the right sizes. Jeans-- in blue and black, and khakis, shirt in white, a jacket, a mack for the rain. The Circle Store is run by the local wiccans, but it's open for everyone, you don't have to belong to their Circle to shop there. It's open, and they're friendly enough, it's not my flavor you know, but they do good for the community. It's all used stuff -- but in good condintion. Almost like unused, but you can afford it, for being on a budget.

I'd been to the Circle Store, and I was lookin' for stuff in his size, O.K? But 'ere was this fox an' all, he's right for a fox, now -- but he wasn't doing well when first I saw him, --him weighin' in at barely seven stone and small change. An now, he was looking right trim! But still not weighing in at much more than eight, eight an' a half stone, tops! But he was looking now like he was right fit, fighting trim as some would say. An' he, needed somethin' he could be proud in, ya' see?

I was into the shop, an' I'd got some stuff, a shirt an' a tie, if he wanted it for a job or summat. Anyway, I'm in the Circle store an' I'm looked the racks down and through, I point out to meself; I've been there, and there, and there... An' this liitle thought creeps in, "Yes. "Ahhh but you haven't looked over Here!" An' I turn, ... And it's like the Green Man was talkin' to me about the fox. And I look an' it catches me eye! There on'a rack to the back, was a waistcoat; near forest green it was--only lighter, darker than the color of Maple trees when th' leaves are just out. This flash of green, not bright, mind you, but rich in colour and I go to it, and it's a waistcoat, just a short-vest really --but only-- it has all of it's buttons, --and it's whip-whale cord on the cloth in front, and smooth and shiny silk or satin or summat on the back, peacock green in back. An' looks to be his size, all right? An' I look and it's the right size for the fox. Ann'a rack next to it? A pearl grey shirt, ... oh, he'd look just the thing with the dark blue jeans, and the dove grey shirt, and the green vest against his fur, oh, he would look fine, he would! An' I'd made the whole shop through, and got what I was about, an' it's like the GreenMan himself knew it was there and didn't want me to leave without gettin' it. So I nab it and haul all the stuff up to the counter-girl, "Looks like to be a bit snug fit, yeah?" she queries me. "Nay, not fer me," Says I to her! A friend was robbed, I'm just helpin'. And she gives me the sweetest, softest smile I've got since, ... well, ... years! An I felt so proud, I stood a bit taller, I did. She had the stuff packed in, and set, and as I pay her due an' she hands me back me small coin change, she winks me! "May it come back three-fold, ta ya," she says.

I felt so good! I'm not so sure that I didn't blush, but I was on thinkin' about how the green would set off his arm-fur 'n his socks, see? I just looked down, an' smiled back, heading street-ward. I think she thought the outfit was a bit sharp lookin'!

When I gave him the bag with the clothes, the next evening at supper, he was so excited, he almost glowed! He pulled the stuff out and tried the most of it for a fit, that's what he did. I did that for him, in hopin' that he'd be able to get a job if needed, he would. But when I gave it to him, I told him, I'd like a shake for me trouble. An' he said he would, ...

But oh, Dear Green Man! It was so immodest of 'im! Him being so used to the squatters camp, he just took his shirt and pants off, right there, and he just stripped -fur up--! He warrn't givin' me a flash show 'r nothin', just to be free to try on the new clothes, seeing nothin' immodest about it --us both being males, --as he did.

Now, I'm not gay. But it made me feel all over queer inside, to see him do that. I didn't know what was going on with him, and by the time I'd recovered from me startlement, and looked away, he already had the new pants on, see? And soon was buttoning the shirt. He said, "Turn to see!" And when I looked, I could only stare at him, he looked that fine he did. He looked like he was just a regular guy offa ta' street, and you walkin' by. Except the waistcoat. That he tried on he did. He just held it up in front of him, then slipped it up onto his shoulders, ....

He looked at me funny he did, in the vesty. I confess that he did seem perplexed that I looked so hard to see how fine it looked on him, but I have to tell, he looked like a Gentlefur, in it, he did! Like a fine Gentlefur, an I said as much to him, that he looked so very good in the thing. An' he just beamed, he smiled so broad as I thought his jaw would pop off from the separation! An' I felt so good, too. To have helped a bloke what has fallen a bit in his station, it's a polish on one's hard old heart, a new shine to it, to help some bloke what's gone down th' ladder a'bit. Oh, it looked so good on him, with no stains nor holes, nor buttons missin' on't...

And he did, --shake me hoof, he did. Took his paw, and took me hoof with it, and shook it like a gentlefur would, he did. Oh, he looked so fine, and trim. I took some pride in his smile, cause I picked out the clothes, see? To think I'd a bit to do with it, I did.

So I smiled and he smiled, and then he shocked the shit out of me, see?

What I wasn't expecting was that he would close-up to me, wrap his paws about me, an' give me a hug. No, that wasn't what I was expecting, it wasn't. An' it didn't set well with me for the rest of the shift in the crane, not a bit. It had gotten into me thinking, when he did that, that it'd been almost ten years since anyone had given me a hug.

Unsettled was what I was, and when I got home, I cried a bit ina'da the pillow, for the quiet in the house, and the hug, what I have not had in these many years.

Now I'm not the sentimental type.

Well? I'm not!

But I was not feeling quite meself for a bit, for thinkin' on that. And it took me some days, it did, but I'd made up me mind already-- only waiting for it ta' settle accounts with me heart. But he made me feel it; the being alone, and the big house with me in it, all alone. And so the next week, at Friday, t'supper, with him sittin' on the middle of the tree trunk an' all, I ask him, "Tim?"

But I wasn't smilin' from feeling the heaviness as I was earnest, as I asked; "Tim, I've got a house in town, what's old and still in good repair, ... and living there all by oneself alone is too much house for one. If you hadn't anything against it, could you come an' stay in it with me? I've got two spare bedrooms and it lacks for nothing-- furniture is all there, except it's all an empty house but for me, rattlin' 'bout in it, all alone. See? An' a room of your own, for yourself, an' not worrying that someone will pinch your stuff out yer tent, nor make off with it, ... Could you, then, Lad? An' if you wanted a place to stay that is warm of a winter and not so damp at anytime, I'm offerin' you free room there. I'm not asking anything of you, wouldn't cost you nothing at all. You could live rent free, for the house is paid for, see? It needs nowt, but somethin' to break the drear of the lonliness. Will ya? I'd cover the groceries, and all 'at..."

"I must have made a face or somethin' for he looked at me so strange.

But he didn't give an answer ta' me. Just a nod, and nothing more.

And then I waited 'til the next Friday, t' say something, see?. Cause I didn't, you know, I get off'a work 'til 11 at night, see? And that's really late. Fox don't wanna be prowlin' around that late at night, they wanna be, you know, kipping'. I'm waitin' 'til the week's end and Friday. I stop by at our suppertime, and I say, 'You know your way around the city'?

And he nods.

'You know where Richmond is, right? Richmond Street'?

It is a big street, I mean, it's not the best section of town or anything, but it's not a bad section, there's no crime or well, very little crime. Ok, but it's better than a lot of places. It's not a slum or nothin'. It's just, ... you know, just us. And there are some toughs but, you know, they'll leave you alone if you live there. Cause they know you'll rat out on 'em. I don't go tattlin' ... who's messin' with a bull, right? Forty year old bull? I mean, nobody. Nobody's gonna mess with me. You see what I'm saying?

And, Friday I take the key and I put it on a fancy keychain. I didn't go out and buy one, you know? I used what I had. It was my sister's keychain. And it wasn't a pink heart, it was a red heart but it didn't look much like a heart, it looked more like an arrowhead, right' You know for the longest time I thought it was an arrowhead. And it wasn't, it was just a really long heart, you know, like it had been sagging or somethin'.

And I put it there on the sandwiches. He came up for the food, and he looked at it and he put it in his pocket fast as you could say, 'knife'.

And I asked him, "You know, where Richmond Street is?" He said he did, as he picked up the first sandwich. And there on top of the second sandwich is a pile of bus tokens; you know, about ten bus tokens. So he could ride back and forth.

'2589 Richmond. That's the key to the backdoor. You're not allowed to have any friends in -- just you -- but I mean, I changed the sheets and everything. It's cleaned and got a fresh pillow. Ok'?

And he nods. And I say, "It's okay if you don't show up. But if you want it, It's there. An' I'd be please o' your company'

And that's the way it worked.