The Non-Insurgency
He scurried after her. "Do you always walk so fast?"
"I am walking normally," was Arianna's level response, rounding a corner. In a corridor.
"Well, uh ... okay," Ollie responded. Still following her. Eyes darting to her flicker-flicking bobtail. And the poise of her constant gait. And ...
... she stopped. And he ran into her, with a soft bump. He squeaked.
And she turned slowly around, brow raised.
"W-what?" the snow-mouse stammered, ears turning rosy-pink. As they went swivel-swivel. "What? Why'd you stop like that? I ... I ran into you."
"I noticed."
"Well ... "
"I could feel you 'eying' me."
"Eying?"
"You were staring at my tail."
"Tail? I was NOT ... " But it sounded lame a lame refutation.
Her brow arched. She slightly tilted her head (to the right). "You were."
The mouse bit his lip. "That why you stopped? Stopped so ... that I'd stop, too? Dual stoppage?"
"You are blabbing."
"That's me. A regular blabber-mouse," he said quietly.
"I see," was her response. Her white waggle-ears waggling. "Don't you have a duty aboard the ship?"
"I've been conscripted to, uh, be Barrow's medical assistant."
"Do you know anything about medicine?"
"No." A bit of a guilty smile. "I just tidy up the place, and ... refill hypos."
An eye-smile (from her) that couldn't be helped. "Strenuous, I'm sure."
"Oh, very. It's ... very. Got me on edge."
The eye-smile lingered. "And that is why you've taken to watching tails?"
"I only watch one tail," was his immediate response. Upon saying it, flushing. Fearing he'd been too bold. Knowing what he wanted. Just not knowing, entirely, if she wanted it, too. And was it his imagination ... or were her ears flushed, too? The delicate pink interiors, surrounded by the white fur and the charcoal tips. And, seeing as she was saying nothing, he ... picked up the silence. Continuing, "I, uh ... I don't HAVE to leave the ship. I mean, Eveningland is weeks away. I don't have to go. I can tell the Captain to, uh, grant me a field commission. I could, uh, you know ... be a non-commissioned officer. You know, like how Ross is."
"That does sound feasible."
"I could do that," he repeated.
"You could."
The mouse bit his lip, breathing in deeply through the nose. "You think that's a good idea, then?" he whispered. "You, uh ... you'd like that?"
"It is your decision," she whispered back.
He padded a step closer to her, nose close to hers, and voice quiet, and saying, "I know, but, uh ... you'd think it was a good decision? Yeah? I ... that I should stay? I mean, I think I have things to stay for." He briefly met her eyes, and then ... his eyes darted away, and darted back. "Yeah?"
Her pupils dilated a bit. "You wish to mate with me," she whispered, barely audible.
"Really?" he asked, feigning ignorance.
She stared.
A slight nod, then, from him. And a whispered, "Really." A statement now, instead of a question. "Yes," he breathed.
And to think they were both standing in the middle of the corridor. For everything else had seemed to fade away. Like they were standing in a void only occupied by the Holy Spirit, and the two of them.
"I think," Arianna said diplomatically, "it is only fair you knew ... there are three snow rabbit breeding parties on the ship. I received invitations from two of them ... asking me to join. Lieutenant-commander Alabaster, in particular, has been eager to ... recruit me."
The mouse swallowed. "Oh." His eyes darted.
"I was non-committal."
"Oh," Ollie said (again). "Well, that's ... I mean, I don't wanna keep you from your own species. If you have ... species obligations, I ... " He trailed.
"I just thought you should know ... "
" ... that I'm not the only one drooling over your tail," he whispered, flushing hard. And he nodded, and took a step back. "Um ... I ... well, I can't compete with male snow rabbits. I mean, I'm just a slim, squeaky mouse. I'm, uh, sure they could give you a better time."
"Perhaps," was Arianna's quiet response. Her whiskers did a bit of a twitch. Her nose did a bit of a sniff, as well.
But his whiskers were twitching faster. And his nose was sniffing more fiercely.
"Perhaps," she repeated. "It is true that they could give me desirable ... sensations," she whispered. "However, they could never give me any MEANING ... to reinforce those sensations with." A breath. "I admire your faith. And your gentility. Mice have this ... innocence," she said, "about them. You are vulnerable, and you are ... open. And ... " She trailed. And cleared her throat. "Besides, Aria informs me that your species is ... just as capable as any virile buck. If not more so."
A severe flush, and he looked away. And he looked back to her. "I just ... I would like to, uh ... I wasn't allowed to love where I came from," he whispered, haunted. Trying not to remember. But it was impossible not to. "It wasn't allowed. It ... I never got to feel it. I was willing to risk it all to FEEL it," he stressed, "but no femme would take that risk with me. They were too afraid of the wolverines. That someone would find out, and ... the things they did to you, if they found out you'd taken a mate ... " He trailed.
"I am sorry." A pause. "We all have our burdens to bear. However, as I have learned ... those trials, those struggles ... force growth. You learn, and you become more. You overcome."
"Doesn't make the pain go away."
"No ... but it gives the pain a purpose."
He nodded. He understood.
"I have never felt love, either. Snow rabbits have not, as a rule, taken mates. Or ... subscribed to love. However, I believe that can change. Aria did it. I ... could do it, too," Arianna said.
"Start a revolution," Ollie whispered, smiling shyly. "Jumpstart all those frozen hearts. Let them know what they're missing."
A tilt of her head. And a nod.
"So, uh ... " Ollie cleared his throat, and he held his naked, silky-pink tail in his paws (like holding a rope). "Um ... " He looked to the carpeted floor of the corridor. And then back up to her. His eyes the same icy-blue as hers. And both of them with snowy-white fur. But him a mouse, and her a rabbit, and ... so different, still. "You, uh, wanna be my mate?" he asked, swallowing.
"That would be ... "
The lights flickered. Flashed. And then died.
" ... agreeable," Arianna finished, her voice flooding with concern. She craned her neck, and looked around.
"What happened to the lights?" Ollie asked, a sound of panic in his voice.
"I do not know."
"I can't see!" The mouse started to panic. Predators could see in dark. Predators could hunt you in the dark ... he'd remembered cold, cold nights, and ... " ... I can't see!" he squeaked, almost sobbing it out.
Until he felt her paws grab at him. On his arms. "I am here," she said confidently. "There is nothing to fear."
"Then why I am afraid!"
The emergency lights flickered on. Flicker-flicker ... flick. Pale-blue, very dim, and lining the tops of the ceilings, where the walls met the ceilings, as if lighting the way ... but you couldn't see far. You could see just enough, but everything had an eerie glow, and ...
" ... warning. Warning," went the computer. "Counter-insurgency program activated."
"What? What's that?!" the mouse squeaked.
"Shh ... remain calm," Arianna said, keeping her cool (of course).
Ollie nestled right up against her, closing his eyes tight (which made the dark even darker), and putting his nose in her fur. Squeaking incoherently.
She gripped to him, and looked around, and was about to signal for the bridge, to ask what was going on ...
... when the computer began talking again. "Warning. Warning. Counter-insurgency program activated."
"Counter-insurgency program," Arianna whispered, squinting, frowning. "Counter ... "
" ... insurgency program has been activated," said a new voice, still coming from the computer. But it wasn't the computer's voice. "This is Admiral Sleetmute. If you are hearing this, your ship has been overrun by the enemy."
"The enemy?" whispered Ollie, quaking, latched to Arianna.
"Arctic foxes," she whispered, with a STRONG sense of ... darkness ... in her voice.
"I have pre-recorded this message to accompany this program. It has been activated because Arctic foxes have taken control of the ship." A pause. The pre-recorded voice, playing over the ship's computer, echoing throughout the corridors. Sounding ominous in the pale, pale blue ... of the emergency lights. "Any snow rabbit soldiers still aboard ... you know what you must do. Take your lives. God will have mercy on your souls. Better die by your own paw ... than the teeth of a predator. If they capture you, tell them nothing." Another pause. "Arctic foxes, let it not be said that our species is brutish. We are not feral like you. We are civil. That is why I am giving you ten minutes to abandon this ship ... before the computer releases a toxic gas into the atmosphere. This gas will burn your lungs. You will feel like you are breathing fire. You will be burned from the inside ... until your heart explodes."
Ollie winced, tears streaming down his cheeks. No, no, no, no ...
"The computer has been locked ... by snow rabbit command codes. It is highly doubtful you will attain these codes before the gas is released. I advise you to leave the ship. Immediately. The choice is yours. If even ONE Arctic fox remains aboard ... the gas will be released."
The computer cut itself off.
Leaving the corridor quiet. Except for Ollie's fervent, airy voice ... " ... dear God, I don't know what's going on, but please ... please, help us. I ... please ... dear God ... "
"Can you disable it?" Aria asked, with a rising note of concern.
"No. No," went Jinx, the skunk, at tactical. "And ... this console isn't even HALF-working. I ... we don't have any power."
Ezri, a squirrel, the comm officer ... she piped in, "There was NO comm traffic before this, and the scanners were empty. Ma'am, I swear, there are NO Arctic foxes within days of here ... "
"It must be a computer glitch. Maybe a virus got into the system, or maybe an errant subroutine ... launched the program."
"Every snow rabbit ship comes with such a program," Aria said with a sigh, pacing back and forth behind her chair. "It is to prevent the Arctic foxes from stealing our ships and harvesting our technology. No snow rabbit ship has ever been successfully pirated by them."
"I can understand why," Ezri whispered, her bushy, luxurious tail flagging behind her. "But the war's over!"
"I did not design this ship. I did not implant the program deep into our systems. It was not my doing," Aria assured.
"Why didn't this thing activate when we had that injured fox aboard ... a few days ago?"
"The parameters of the program kick it into activity when the ship is attacked, invaded, and the invading signals are of fox origin ... there are SIGNALS," Aria stressed. "There are very specific, drastic symptoms ... it is a LAST resort program. It has clearly malfunctioning."
"You think?" Jinx asked. "Look, it doesn't matter who put it there, or why it turned itself on ... it's there," Jinx said, "and we have eight minutes to terminate it. Or we'll all dead."
"Escape pods. We have to get to the escape pods," said Ezri.
"The computer will have locked them down. The only hatches not locked are the docking hatches ... which would allow the Arctic foxes to leave the ship."
"There's none TO leave."
"I am well aware of that, Lieutenant," Aria said, meeting Ezri's eyes.
"Where's the computer core? E-Deck?" asked Jinx.
"F-Deck," answered Aria.
"We do a manual shutdown of the computer core ... and isolate the program with our scanners. Delete it manually. We'd have to do everything manually. But if we shut the core down, the gas can't be released, and ... once we find the program and get rid of it, we can reboot the core."
"Which would, in the meantime, leave us totally defenseless," Aria said. "If the Arctic foxes DID show up ... "
" ... in eight minutes? Who's gonna show up in eight minutes?"
"Eight minutes is the time left for the gas release ... it may take DAYS to isolate the insurgency program and delete it," Aria said pointedly.
"Captain, we don't have a choice. You know that ... "
She did. And she looked around the bridge. The viewer was still working. And it showed the dormant stars. And she looked back to Jinx. "Summon anyone in the area of F-Deck. Tell them to crawl through the access tube to the core and manually shut it down ... "
"That'll mean life support will go down, too," Ezri said. "All the heat will be sucked into space. This ship will turn into an icicle."
"I used to suck icicles for breakfast," Aria said.
"Well, I didn't!"
"Uh, femmes? Please?" Jinx said. The skunk was biting his paw. And he removed it from his mouth. Sighing. "Ezri?"
"What?" she asked, wide-eyed.
"The comm! Ask everyone down below, whoever's closest ... to deactivate the core!"
"Oh! Oh ... okay. Uh ... " The squirrel's rodent anxiety was pounding, pulsing through her veins, and she fumbled to do as ordered.
"None of the lifts are working," Arianna realized. She swallowed, and ... leaned against a bulkhead. "It would probably be logical to stay here. No doubt the bridge and engineering are trying to rectify this."
"They better rectify it fast," Ollie whispered, his voice a bit haunted. "We got, like, what, five minutes?"
"I do not know." The snow rabbit, of course, did know. Her academic mind could precisely keep track of time ...
"Well ... " Ollie let out a nervous breath. "I said my prayers."
"I heard," she whispered.
"You wanna pray with me?" he asked. A purity in his almost-plea.
"You just ... "
" ... again ... we can pray again."
"Alright," Arianna said carefully.
Ollie was huffing, breathing hard. His heart going hammer-hammer, and maybe, if he didn't stop breathing like this, he was gonna hyper-ventilate, but he was a rodent, a mouse, and ... and ...
... a paw was on his side. "Ollie."
"What? What?" He looked to her, wildly.
"You must calm down."
"I ... I can't. I ... " A swallow. A sniffle. "Is this how come you snow rabbits suppressed your emotions? Cause you didn't wanna feel stuff like this?" He sniffled, crying quietly. The fear was pressing all around him. It was so fierce.
"Somewhat," Arianna responded. "We did not choose to suppress our emotions ... it was simply a necessity our lives demanded. We come from a harsh, barren place ... "
"So do I ... " A sniffle.
"That may be, but ... my species adapted in this way. But ... " She hesitated. "You do not know how STRONG a snow rabbit's emotions are. They are primal, feral ... they are too much for our minds to handle. We used to be like animals. We used to kill each other. We ... were very violent. Paranoid. Lusty beyond reason."
Ollie sank a bit, to a sit on the floor.
And she joined him. And took a breath.
"I ... keep ... talking. I wanna hear your voice."
She took a breath through her nose. "We realized we were going to drive ourselves to extinction. We could not survive ... and the tundra was unforgiving. It beat us into submission, daily, and ... over time, it numbed us. But we did not fight it, for ... it was the only solution to save us from our emotions."
The mouse listened. Sniffling just a bit. Ears swiveling.
"As our emotions 'froze,' we learned how to keep them frozen, and ... it became habit, which became instinct. Now, each snow rabbit is born with an emotional block. Some can crack that block, and let droplets of emotion seep through. Like Aria. And ... like myself." A pause. "I have experimented," she admitted, "with emotion."
"It's not all it's cracked up to be," Ollie said. "Lot of bad feelings ... it's ... "
" ... that may be," Arianna admitted. "However, to see someone laugh. To see love in someone's eyes. To see tears of joy, and ... there are things that would be worth it. Even to feel for a second."
He looked at her.
She looked back. Saying, "But I know that I cannot ever fully FEEL. It is not possible. It would destroy me. But just a little taste," she whispered, "would be enough for me. I ... I could taste it with you."
"It?"
"Love. And everything else. I ... "
His eyes watered, and the tears came again. "I'm s-sorry," he stammered. "I know, I'm a male mouse, I'm a waif ... I ... I'm weak."
"You are not weak," she assured.
A sniffle.
"You are very strong. I do not know," she whispered, "what you have endured, but I know a fur of strength when I see him ... and you," she said, "have that in you."
"Strength?"
A quiet nod.
He swallowed.
"But, to continue the tale ... our environment, over time, numbed us. And we allowed it to, for it was the only way to freeze our madness. The breeding parties were started to contain our breeding needs ... before, any rabbit would breed with any other rabbit. It led to ... disease, pregnancy, and jealousy. We could not have LOVE, as other furs would have it, but we desperately needed to breed ... but unlimited partners was a severely bad idea. So, groups were set up. About eight rabbits per group. You mated within the group AND only ... within the group. It was a compromise between love and lust." A pause. "However, I have found it to be a flawed system." She sounded like she wanted to elaborate on that, but she didn't ... not now ...
"So, your species ... thinks love is dangerous?"
"It can be," she admitted. "But I do not believe it has to be ... I want to find out for myself."
The mouse's eyes stung. A sniffle. "So, you'll ... mate me?"
"I believe that was my point, yes."
A sniffle. "But ... we only got a few minutes."
She nuzzled him. "We will be fine," she assured. And then a moment of quiet. "You were going to lead us in another prayer?"
"Um ... um, yeah." A breath. And the mouse put his paws together, and bowed his head, keeping one eye open ... " ... you, uh, you gotta do the same."
"Will God not hear the prayer if I do not?"
"He hears it any way you give it ... in your head, out loud ... you can pray any way you want to, but it's, just, the ritual," the mouse explained, "of clasping paws and bowing your head ... it signifies humility. It's ... just comforting to do. I ... helps one to focus more ON the prayer. It's ... you know?"
"I will do as you do, then," she whispered. And she put her paws together. And bowed her head.
And the mouse licked his dry lips. "Dear God ... it's me. Ollie. I, uh ... maybe we're not in a good spot right now. I ... I don't know what's wrong. It's dark, and the ship's gonna do something bad. I just don't know. I just ... please, help us, and ... let me not be afraid. Help me to trust in You. Dear Jesus, I know You've my soul ... I know You've saved me from myself. And You saved me from the wolverines, and I know You've been working in my life, and if it's to end today, then ... I know I'll be with You," the mouse whispered ... very, very quietly. "I believe," he said. A statement. A vow. "Blood on white fur is a ... terrifying sight, but ... Yours is the only blood that washes one clean. That REMOVES stains instead of staining, and I ... thank you for that. Please, help us, and ... thank you for Arianna, and ... help her to know what love is. But not to let her get hurt trying to feel it. But that she could know ... and ... that I could help her. And she could help me." The mouse let out a breath. He didn't have anything left. He nodded quietly, eyes closing. "Thank you, my Lord. I love you. In Jesus' name I pray ... amen."
The snow rabbit, paws still together, looked to her new mate.
He breathed deeply through the nose. And his chest swelled out, and his eyes were a bit more stable, and ... he looked, somehow, calmer. As if that biological anxiety that had been unavoidable a few minutes ago ... had lessened. It was still there. His whiskers were still twitching, and he still smelled of fear. He was still a mouse. But no longer a paralyzed one.
"You are," Arianna whispered to him, more certain than ever, "strong."
The mouse shyly met her eyes. "Arianna ... "
She kept her gaze on him.
He opened his muzzle. And closed it. And swallowed. "Is it too early to say ... that I love you? I just ... maybe I won't get another chance to say that in this world, and I ... I do, though. I'm not just saying it to be saying it. I do. I don't know how, and I don't know entirely why, but I wanna find out." A breath. "I do love you," he assured.
Even in the dark, he saw her eye-smile, and ...
... a voice came out over the air.
Ollie closed his eyes tightly. It was probably the pre-recorded admiral, announcing the Arctic foxes hadn't left (cause there were none here to begin with!) ... and that the gas would be released, and ...
" ... this is the Captain."
Aria!
"We have shut down the rogue insurgency program," she said, and there was a sighing tension in her voice. One that indicated that, yes, they'd shut it down, but it had been TOO close a call ... how much time had there been to spare on the counter? "The engineering staff is to be commended. However, with the core down, we are operating under very limited systems ... I can only advise, if you're not a member of the bridge or engineering staffs, to stay where you are. If you fancy a crawl through the access tubes, go back to your quarters. The program will take a while to purge."
Ollie and Arianna listened.
"When we get the core back online, the ship may be sluggish. I suspect it'll be a few days before we're back to our 'just-launched' peak performance. I will see you all," Aria said, with a bit of dry humor, "when the lights come back on." The channel was cut.
Ollie looked to Arianna.
The snow rabbit, her ears waggling, said, "We will be okay."
"Yeah," the mouse whispered, smiling joyously. "Yeah ... " He took a breath. "Uh ... now that we're mates, and we got all this time, um ... my quarters are the nearest."
"What are you implying?" Her eyes sparked.
"To talk. And, uh ... rest. And ... you know ... "
"I believe I do," she whispered gently. Eye-smiling.
So, the mouse stood, and he offered a paw ... and she took it, and she got to a stand, too.
"There is a question raised, however: who's quarters are we going to reside in? Yours or mine?"
"Yours are probably better."
An eye-smile. "Nonetheless ... we will decide that later."
"Uh ... this way," Ollie said, heading off into the dark.
And she held to his tail, following him.
Their furry bodies, as they rounded the corner, swallowed up by the lack of light. But their voices like flaring embers, dancing brightly when breathed out.