The Truth
So the age old questions are asking themselves again...
Why am I fighting this war? What did I do to stop it? Have you really done anything at all? I have saved some but have seen so many fall. I keep telling myself that I can wash off the blood I spilled but my deeds are set in stone. I will never be able to take them away. I live in the river of blood that is this earth and I will drown in it. So long I have told myself that there is a salvation for me but even if I am forgiven by those I have slain, I will never be able to forgive myself. I never asked for this, but I got it. Now I can't turn away. I spend so long trying to fix a problem that cannot be solved by us. We in fact ARE the problem. All we do is continue to increase the blood in the river. I'm not trying to stop it completely, I just want to make it shallower. What do I achieve? I kill and act just as badly as he does. I am a monster within the world because of what I was blamed for while he gets praise because he hides his past and present so well. Almost no one sees the raping, killing, mind control, the way he "recruits" and uses them as a wall of protection for worse actions. I've seen those labs, the inhumane way he treats those who have willingly given themselves to him as well as those he "recruited". Yet I sit here and wage a war trying to create peace. I am condemned for it, I am rejected and hated for being a creature that they themselves have created. He fills the river with more blood and I scramble to slow it down. I lost my friends to the river and to him. I fight day in and day out to slow down a river that no one notices. I cannot give up, I pledged an oath to them. "Even if I have to remain in this river" I fight to keep her from being drawn into the river. They can listen to her and stop the blood. She can help end the spiral of death. I see so much of her mother in her. She can slow things down. But she cannot stop the river. No one can stop the river. WE are the problem, but we cannot stop it completely, even if we all see it. The blood will always be there and my body will lay among the millions in testament to the horror that we are. I will be forced to join the bodies, because I was foolish enough to think that I could stop it. My only comfort is in the hope that as the blood pulls me under, I find true peace.