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Eggceptional Get Away: Kickaha

Some might say the foxyote's curiosity often got the better of him. Kickaha would argue that instead he got the best out of his curiosity. That was why when he heard that Trevor and Calex were up to something he had to check it out. Just one of them was trouble, both of them combined was a catastrophe waiting to happen. And where there was chaos and mayhem there would be Kickaha! He had a reputation to maintain after all!

Still upon arriving at the barn he expected to find them at; there was sudden flash of light... And then everything started to look a lot bigger. That was to be expected. But then everything went dark and he found himself really, really sleepy. That was a bit less expected. He had expected something far more high energy than nap time from this union of mischief! But it couldn't be helped... Especially since try as he might he couldn't resist his sudden drowsiness and so slipped off into dreamland.

Kickaha wasn't sure how long he had stayed asleep for... But when he woke up he was aware of the sensation of being extremely cramped. It was still pitch black wherever he was... But he could feel warmth coming from all around him. He tried to squirm around inside of whatever contained him. It was somewhat difficult. His body felt weak... And also different. He couldn't find his hands for starters. There was something there... But he couldn't bend his fingers on them. It didn't feel like the forepaws of a feral animal though. It was something else. He had a theory, but he needed to get a good look at himself to find out what. That meant his first order of business was getting out of whatever dark container he was held in.

Unable to move his hands or feet he resorted to head butting the side instead. This proved to be very effective. The front of his face pushed out into something hard and sharp. He was able to use it to peck right through the wall of what was containing him. Light shined through as the top of his prison completely collapsed. He blinked several times getting used to the light. As his vision cleared and he was able to look down at himself his hunch was confirmed.

He was covered in a series of orange and brown rust colored feathers. The reason he couldn't move his hands was the fact that his arms had been replaced with a pair of wings. They weren't large enough to support his body in flight though. He looked down at his legs, seeing chicken-like talons that were much longer. He then looked around at his surroundings and the prison that had held him. It was an egg, he was sitting in a giant broken egg. Well... He supposed the egg wasn't giant at all. He was just currently quite small.

Kickaha tried to stand up. It was difficult. He had just hatched and was little more than an infant. He stumbled falling out of the egg on his first attempt. His second attempt he managed to fall flat on his beak. It took him three attempts before he could finally stand up and look around.

He was standing in a bed of straw. Looking around he saw red colored wood making up the walls, rafters and ceiling. So he was in some kind of barn. It was hard to judge the size of it... He could see the door leading out of it across from his nest. Judging by the size, assuming it was made for a normal sized human Kickaha imagined he was currently about the size of an adult chicken. Well, he supposed that meant he wasn't a rooster. If he was this big as a newborn he had to be a much bigger breed of bird. Looking at his long lanky legs and feeling the plumage atop his head with his wings he had a pretty good idea.

Before Kickaha could get further along his thoughts the door he had been eyeing swung open. Immediately a man in a checkered shirt and overall strode in. He had a straw hat upon his head and thick boots. He was clearly someone trying way too hard to pull off the farmer look. The man's eyes widened as he saw Kickaha standing in the nest.

"You've hatched already?" The farmer asked. "I was sure we had at least another three weeks based on when I was told you were laid." The farmer walked over the nest and stared down at Kickaha. "But... not much to look at are you?" The man sighed.

"Wark!" Kickaha objected and shook his tail feathers. He maintained that there was quite a bit to look at. He had apparently just been born (for the second time at that) and was already being judged.

"Oi don't you give me an attitude!" The farmer crossed his arms. "I paid top gil to breed two legendary chocobo racers! I was expecting a golden bird! Not a common brown and white-" The man paused and stared at Kickaha for a moment. He slowly reached out two hands and lifted him up.

"Wark wark wark!" Kickaha flailed his wings trying to escape. He did not agree to be picked up by such a kwehstionable person! But even if he was currently a bird that was renown for its speed there wasn't much the newborn chocobo chick could do compared to an adult human. Kickaha was lifted in the air as the farmer looked him over.

"Well now... Maybe you got something interesting after all ol' Bill." The farmer who Kickaha assumed was Bill poked the feathers around Kickaha's chest. "Never seen a feather pattern like this before." He was studying the brown diamond shaped patch in the middle of Kickaha's white chest. "Don't know how fast you'll run but maybe you'll get people's attention after all."

"Kweeeeeh!" Kickaha was good at getting attention, but if this man didn't put him down soon someone was losing a finger.

"Calm down, calm down." Bill placed Kickaha back in the nest. "I paid good money for your egg so I plan to make some use of you. Still... You look nothing like either of your parents. Almost feel like they gave me the wrong egg."

"WARK!" Kickaha tilted his head and stared at Bill. He knew Bill was closer than he thought on that point. He would have liked to have said that were he capable of talking he would have explained the entire situation. Of course that would have been a lie. After all, that would be telling. And that was no fun. Besides this Bill fellow didn't seem like the brightest bulb in the room. Most humans weren't. He probably wouldn't even believe a perfectly logical explanation about how a kitten and a brionne could turn a middle-aged foxyote into a chocobo egg. Humans were always looking for a more complicated answer like some kind of breeding accident than the simple explanation that was right under their noses.

"Well you better rest up today." Bill said as he walked towards the barn door again. "Because tomorrow I'm going to put you to work."

"WARK!?" Kickaha was not okay with that! Being stuck into an egg and shipped off to who knows where was one thing! But doing honest work? That was crossing the line!

"That's right work!" Bill smiled smugly. "Though I suppose it's more like training at this point. Look, I only have two possible uses for you. A star racer or someone to pull my plow." He grinned. "Whelp! Enjoy your hatch day!" Bill slammed the door shut leaving Kickaha in the barn.

"Kweh?" Kickaha wished that he had eyebrows right now so he could quirk one. For now he had to do with tilting his head as mockingly as possible. Shame there was no one to see it. Still... If that farmer thought he was sticking around to be someone's beast of burden he had another thing coming! Kickaha steadied himself on his feet then leaped from his test for the barn floor. He fluttered his wings as quickly as he could, almost managing to glide as he slowed his flaw. Once he landed on the ground he ran somewhat clumsily to the barn door. He tried shoving his head against it. That didn't work. He looked up and saw a small metal latch that was used to open the door. It was roughly four feet up off the ground. Easy for any human to reach, but a bit out of Kickaha's reach.

He leaped up into the air and flapped his wings as hard as he could. Though he could slow his fall he couldn't actually gain any height with them. That was an issue. He had to consider his options. He could try pecking at the door until he bore a hole through. If Bill stayed away for multiple weeks it might even work! That seemed unlikely though, and also somewhat painful. He looked around the barn trying to see if there were any windows. There were, but like the door they were latched shut and even higher up.

Kickaha briefly considered just giving up at this point. He was sure there was some fun he could have at the farmer's expense if he stayed. After all if the farmer wanted a beast of burden then Kickaha was absolutely willing to live up to that burden part! Yet at the same time the farmer didn't seem that smart... And that just made messing with him not very sporting. Besides, Kickaha just wasn't cut out for a life of domestication. So that meant he had to escape.

If he had his powers right now he would simply cast a spell, turn into something bigger and let himself out. However being unable to speak and not having fingers somewhat limited him there. He tried to create a bit of lightning from his fingertips only to find it currently didn't work. Problematic, but something he could learn to work around later. For now he was going to need a more mundane solution. Well, he was in a barn. That meant there were likely farming tools around somewhere that he could use for... Something. He'd figure out what that something was later. For now it was time to find the tools.

Luckily, Bill seemed to keep things somewhat organized. On the far wall there were several hooks mounted on the wall. A number of different pieces of equipment were hanging from said hooks. There was a shovel, an axe, a hoe, a weed wacker and a chainsaw. The chainsaw was pretty tempting... But Kickaha didn't see any cans of gas nearby. It would be rude to use what gas was left in it without refilling it! And that was the sole reason Kickaha chose to not use that! It had nothing to do with the fact he couldn't figure out how to wield it without hands. Nothing at all.

In the end Kickaha decided to go with the hoe. Mostly because the bottom of it was close to the ground and he could actually reach it with his beak. Biting down on the metal bits he pulled back trying to remove it from the wall. This proved to be a challenge. A baby chocobo was far stronger than an infant of most species. After all as he had learned he was born strong enough to already walk around. But not being completely helpless didn't exactly mean he was actually strong. Tug as he might the hoe didn't want to come loose from the hook. Kickaha jumped into the air and flapped his wings trying to pull back harder. He kept his beak closed down as hard as he could without risk of poking himself. After about three jumps the hoe finally came loose and the hoe came tumbling down from the wall.

And the wooden handle came down directly atop Kickaha's head.

BONK!

"KWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!?" Kickaha shrieked and ran in a circle after getting hit. He held up his wings to the top of his head where he had been struck with tears in his eyes. Why was he always getting bonked!? Why!? After a few moments the pain subsided and Kickaha calmed down. At least he was getting awfully fast at shrugging head injuries like that off thanks to past experience. That was actually something that concerned him greatly.

But there was no time to focus on that! Victory was in sight! He hoped. Kickaha dragged the hoe across the barn back to the door. This was much easier! Now that it wasn't caught on a hook it wasn't that heavy. Once he got it to the door he pressed the metal end up against the base of the door. Then he slid his beak beneath the wooden handle and slowly lifted it up until he slid it directly beneath the latch. Then he pushed the handle up slightly further, the latch came undone and the door swung right open.

Freedom!

Kickaha ran out into warm afternoon sun. It felt good to get out of that stuffy barn. Considering he had just spent who knew how long inside an egg he just wasn't in the mood for being cooped up.

But now what was he supposed to do? Escaping had been a bit too easy. Now he was kind of bored and had nothing to do. Part of him wondered if he should wait around for the farmer to show up so he had someone to taunt with his awesome escape artist skills!

"HEY!" The voice of Bill suddenly shouted across the farm. Perfect timing! Kickaha looked up across a field of onions to see the farmer running towards him. "What are you doing out of the barn!?"

Kickaha braced himself and prepared to run. Seeing his body movements Bill slowed down from his spring. He held up his hands and tried to calmly wave them at Kickaha.

"Now now! Calm down! I didn't mean to scare you!" Bill insisted. "There's no reason for my 10,000 gil bird to run off!" Bill attempted to speak in a calming voice as he approached Kickaha slowly. That just made it awkward. Now Kickaha would feel super rude if he just ran off.

So instead he waited, and allowed Bill to close the distance. Bill continued to make what he assumed were calming motions as he approached Kickaha. Personally, Kickaha would have ranked them as 2/5. More alarming than calming. If didn't know what Bill was doing he might have thought he was having a stroke.

"That's a good boy." Bill was now within a few feet of Kickaha. "Just stay right there and we'll get you back into the barn where you belong." He continued to creep closer and closer. He was almost within arm length to grab Kickaha.

And that was what the chocobo chick was waiting for.

Kickaha burst into full speed from where he was, but he ran straight for Bill closing the distance. He then leaped into the air, brought his beak forward... and gave Bill an affectionate peck, almost like a kiss on the face. It wasn't hard enough to hurt him, but it did leave Bill confused as Kickaha landed on the other side of him. Bill just stared at the bird completely dumbfounded not sure what had just happened.

"Wark wark!" Kickaha did his best to smile with a beak. Then before Bill could recover he took off running at full speed.

"H-hey!" The sight of Kickaha sprinting away seemed to rouse Bill from his stupor. He started to give chase. "Get back here you stupid bird!"

There was no use at this point. Kickaha had gotten used to how his body moved and was no longer tripping over himself as he ran. Chocobos in general were of course natural sprinters. That was the entire purpose they were bred for. That was what Bill thought Kickaha had been bred for. And... Kickaha had to admit, he might have had some talent as a racer. It was even something he had done in the past. But there was another reason he was a fast sprinter. The simple fact was not everyone appreciated his line of work. For Kickaha to be successful at his job he had to be quite good at running away. Combine those learned skills with what his body was naturally built for now and there was no contest. Kickaha put more and more distance between him and Bill until he reached the very edge of the farmland. By this point Bill was just a small figure barely visible in the distance.

From here Kickaha continued to run past a line of trees into the forest. He continued for several minutes after the farm was no longer visible through the trees just to be sure there was no chance of Bill catching up with him. Now he had really escaped; and he felt better that he had done it with a bit of style.

Still what was he to do now? He looked around becoming aware of the noises of the forest. He could hear the buzzing of insects, the chirping of birds and the swaying of leaves. This place was full of life. That meant there had to be a plentiful supply of food and water. It wasn't the worst location to start a new journey.

Was that what he was doing? The chocobo chick sat down to rest in the grass and considered his options. He had no interest in going back and living a life of captivity. That was simply far too boring. But he had a feeling he'd get tired of living in the forest every day pretty quickly as well. He had no idea where this forest even was. That was somewhat exhilarating. It made it feel as if there was something new and exciting right around every corner.

"Kweh!" Kickaha shook his tail feathers in anticipation. Yes, this would be quite the fun little diversion. He had no idea where he was, but he was pretty sure it wasn't even the same world as he normally belonged. There were things to figure out, but they could wait. For now he might have a little adventure, make a few new buddies, solve a mystery or two and maybe even explore a real dungeon.

Yes. Things were certainly getting exciting now.

The End