FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Entering the dim FurShopper from the roof, I tried not to let the darkness tie into my thoughts that no one would come and hope was forever lost. We three clambered down the ladder, but two canine grins slipped. The dim back area of the FurShopper was even darker to the eyes as the outside light faded. Shadow and I stewed in our own thoughts, with a bouncing Brynn not far behind.

After the fresh outside air, the smell of dead furs mixed with the more ordinary scents of boxes, plastic, and fur sweat. I expected Camp to smell much worse. With all the bodies around, it was almost preferable we all move further into the pressing dark.

Beyond the swinging doors, the brighter store interior reeked of the dead. The main walkway ring was occasionally blocked by the them. It was impossible to ignore the buzzing of flies, intent on making the most of the evening.

Shadow called Brynn to catch up, and I stopped, heart thumping in my chest at a near sound. Muted shouting and forceful pounding was coming from up ahead. The storage room we'd been in before? Shadow noticed me inching towards him, and when my fur brushed through his, he turned his focus to me.

"Um... Shadow. What?" was all I could manage through my gulps.

Shadow frowned, his tail still as he glared into the dimness. He wasn't scared; he must know what the sound was. With a gestured arm, he brought Brynn close to us before addressing me after a long sigh. "There was a single survivor of those raccoons who we locked up in that storage closet. It's why Michael is out and about."

"Is he okay in there?" I paused, stepping closer with a frown of my own, my whiskers angling forward. "Or is it a 'she'? I can't tell with all the yelling through the door."

"It's a female," Shadow grumped, "...with a bit of drug withdrawal."

Brynn stepped forward to put her paw to the door, but hesitated before dropping her arm, little, round ears twitching. Shadow didn't approach the door, looking uncomfortable. In the dimness, his golden eyes were distant, lost in memory. The fur inside, sensing someone outside her confinement, paused before pounding on the door harder. Screams came instead of yells.

"Brynn," I set my paw to the bunny-like lagomorph's shoulder, "let's see what there is for dinner, hmmm?"

Brynn glanced up at Shadow, then followed as Shadow joined me, his muzzle, tail, and ears all low. I worried my Wulf's memories would drive him away from the present again, make him distant and still, but he seemed to perk up a little as I edged closer to him and joined our paws. Something nudged against my hip as Brynn slipped her head beneath our paws and held onto us by our shorts' pockets. We must have looked quite the trio as we entered Camp.

Though the rest of the store had scattered day-old bodies, Camp had been haphazardly cleaned up. Dried blood was still visible on the floor, and trails of it led to where bodies had been moved aside to allow the living comfort.

Some of the usual bustle had returned, though the gazes of furs were distant and few met others' eyes. Tara and Diana were playing near the tents, the squirrel had bandages covering most of one leg. The female pup appeared half-involved, her eyes going distant. Ethan was alone at a table picking through scattered food on his plate, mourning his friend Drew. Ruby gathered food on two plates, and I heard a fur mention Clovis was recovering but not out of the woods yet.

I almost collided with Peter, who made a nasty growl in my direction, causing me to flinch even as Shadow pulled me away. The ferret had his arm in a sling with his shoulder wrapped. He showed me his sharp teeth in a snarling grimace which I couldn't help but compare to those on the undead outside.

While Shadow guided me towards the food tables with a warning growl over his shoulder, Brynn ignored the ferret and led us through the gathered furs to the food table. There, Michelle greeted us with the warmest weak smile I'd seen all day, minding the table from a chair with her calf tied against her chest. The food was hot, made from non-perishable ingredients. It was still healthy enough... but Mom wouldn't have approved of the available nutrition.

Helaina watched as we gathered at a table, all three sitting on the same bench. It made my skin crawl, the way her eyes pierced towards me. The female wolf looked a little cut up, but not too bad. Her gaze was interrupted by Laura and Michael, who joined her at the picnic table.

Two bites before I was finished with my food - of course Shadow had 'wolfed' his down in moments - Burt sat across from us and Howard joined him right after. Neither had brought food. Shadow and I blinked at them, even as Brynn stopped playing with her food and watched the two with serious eyes from between us. Burt hesitated, looking to Howard for a nod before clearing his throat.

"Pups," he said. With a released, long sigh he started again, "I know the timing isn't great, but I- we have a...." The bull's voice died and he rubbed at a horn with a sigh.

I sensed more than saw Shadow's frown.

Howard cleared his throat. "What Burt is trying to say is, we have a request."

"You're welcome to refuse," Burt said in a low voice, the deep tone almost a rumble.

"However," Howard nodded to the bull, "we feel it's necessary."

"What is it?" I ventured with a single raised eyebrow.

Howard's polite smile didn't match his serious tone. "We would like you to take your car out-"

"-which no one else might drive, cause it might fall apart!" Burt jumped in.

"-with Sanway to his house-" Howard continued.

"-which I don't like, but someone has to go," Burt interrupted again.

"-to bring back some... ahem," the black and brown billy dropped his soft voice to an even softer whisper, "weapons, ammo, and perhaps other supplies."

I was sure Shadow was blinking back at the pair with as much shock as I was. Brynn continued her serious stare. I shut my dropped jaw with a click, lips pulling into a frown.

"No." Shadow's answer was clear.

"Wait, Shadow," I said, placing a paw on his tensed arm. "What do you mean? Why weapons, and why Sanway?"

Howard spoke before Burt could start, "After this past incident, Burt and I are in agreement that the FurShopper needs some better method of protection. We had not expected to be put at risk by other furs. The FurShopper is a large target and known for carrying a wide range of supplies. Peaceful furs are of no issue, but we may need to prepare for more like this last batch of desperate furs."

Burt grunted and nodded his weighty head. "I just don't like you two going with Sanway, with what happened before. Or even out of the FurShopper, for that matter."

Shadow was nodding in agreement, but I wasn't ready to leave it. There had to be a reason Burt would even approach us.

"So, why Sanway?" I puffed out, with an impatient paw gesture. "What's the whole thing here?"

Burt sighed, but it was Howard who spoke first. "As much as we want to trust furs, we're in agreement that we don't want to test things if they find out, or are reminded, about the car."

Burt nodded for Howard, and the billy continued, "It would be a good idea to get you out of here while furs calm down. Fearful suspicion is fueling furs' imaginations about you, Tyler."

Shadow ground his teeth and eyed the furs past the two hooved ones. I had not realized concerns about me were bad enough to cause Burt to worry for my safety.

The billy tugged on his beard. "We need better protection, and the few guns we have are all but out of ammo from when furs got excited the first day the undead creatures rose." At my nod, he smiled. "Sanway has a... rather large collection of weapons, from what Rusty has told me. It would mean one stop, and we'd have it all by the next day."

Burt huffed a grassy breath. "We'll start patrols and safety checks, of course, but we're short on usable weapons. Tyler would need to drive, and Shadow won't let him go without him. Sanway would need to go, obviously. The rest of the space in the car we'd need for weapons and such."

I nodded. "So we're the only option."

"I didn't say that," grunted Burt, and he held up his hooved fingers to count. "Granted, Roger needs to stay and console his family with the loss of Jacob; now is not the time to ask him to leave. Helaina has been acting... erratic." He nodded at my huff of a response. "I'm sure Ethan can't drive a stick. Rusty and Ruby need to be here with Clovis." Burt rubbed at a smooth horn, "I could ask Peter, but I can't get him settled to talk about anything serious. Fur's too broken over losing Jenny."

Howard grunted. "It seems a bad idea to trust this to Laura or Isaac, and Michael especially seems a poor choice."

I suppressed a groan. "And Sanway?"

"Well," Burt began, "we could send someone else to guide you, like Rusty. "

"Nope," Howard said flat. "Even if we could afford him gone, Rusty may be able to get you to the house, but Sanway has the expertise of his own gear and where to find everything. We can't afford to search house-to-house, and we can't send someone who might lose their way. Rusty is new to the neighborhood."

A chill crawled my spine. "Couldn't Sanway just ditch us and come back here, saying we didn't make it?"

Burt shook his head, "He's not that kind of fur for one. For another," Burt's eyes narrowed, "I've already made it clear he's not to come back without you both."

"You already asked him?" Shadow said, breaking his silence with a low growl in his voice.

"Yes," said Howard. "He wasn't happy about it either, but agreed when we told him the details."

I was surprised he'd agreed. Sanway disliked us to the point of clear disdain. He seemed to be hostile because of... fear of Shadow? ...disgust of gays? I didn't want to be alone with the springbok, of course, and Shadow would not want to leave my side, nor I his.

"No one else?" I rubbed a finger between my brows.

"Unfortunately no," Burt grumbled. "If you have any better suggestions, I'm all ears. We've considered everything from any nearby gun shops - there are none by the way - to hauling things here in wheelbarrows. This is what makes the most sense with what we know."

"I don't like it," growled Shadow, reaching over Brynn's lap to grip my thigh.

Howard broke into the tension with a chuckle. "I don't think any of us do. Least of all Sanway. He acted like we'd spiked his tea with manure and beat his favorite dog."

My sudden snicker stopped Shadow's growl. If Sanway was so horrified with the situation, he would do everything he could to end it soon.

"I don't know..." I began.

"No," grumped Shadow.

"I don't know how else to get the materials and protections we need," Howard said. "This is the only option with a high probability of success. We need this to happen. We can't handle attacks like that from desperate furs. This could get a lot worse."

As useful as my whistle had been against the zombies, it would be laughable against any furs. Even the thought of furs' reaction to my attempt had me feeling humiliated. Guns were good. Guns and other weapons could work against both.

I wouldn't be around forever, either. Glancing at the still-glaring Helaina, I figured she had been right about one thing: it was unlikely I would last as long as other furs might. I needed to put in whatever help I could while I was alive.

With a shuddering indrawn breath, I looked to Shadow, who turned his frown to me. I gripped his paw on my thigh before I spoke.

"I think we need to do this, Shadow."

"We don't," he said.

My lips pulled back into a frown before relaxing into a slight smile. He was stubborn and a bit scared. "We're the only ones who can do it, and I know you'll be there to watch over me."

"Who will watch Sanway?" Shadow growled. "He could ditch us, take the car, and go survive somewhere else."

"I highly doubt he'd do that," Burt said. "His only friend seems to be Rusty, and he wouldn't leave him here. I don't think any of us devalue someone we've known from before the Curtains. I guarantee he'll want to return. He isn't the kind of fur who would stab someone in the back. He's pretty straight-forward."

"Straight-forward about his hate too," growled Shadow.

Burt sighed again. "Just because furs hate, doesn't mean they'll act on it. Personal morals can be stronger than someone's hate. Sanway is a fur of strong morals."

"Or at least opinions," Howard chuckled. "Anyway, the springbok's given his word. He's expressed he wants to stay here, and I doubt he would leave Rusty."

Shadow growled, but he looked torn. The golden eyes catching mine were full of worry and a bit of fear.

Though I hesitated, I knew my answer must be 'yes'. We didn't have many options, and none of the surviving furs would be a better option than us. I knew how to drive the Frankenstein heap without it breaking down. Shadow would protect me, I had no doubts there. Certain kinds of supplies, the FurShopper would not have carried. Small knives sure, but any serious weaponry would have to be brought in. What would happen if desperate furs came in again, for whatever reason? What would happen....

A feeling like cold water trickling up my back, in perverse dismissal of gravity, made me shiver hard. Shadow squeezed my thigh, having felt it. The black wolf's gaze spoke of his worry, his fear. I could be the one to reassure him of this too. Our theory of safety, of our survival, and my surety of decision.

"It should be fine, Shadow," I told him with a squeeze over his worried paw. "I think we need to do this."

His shoulder sagged a little. "I had a feeling you would agree. You know I won't leave you to do this alone."

"I know." I nudged his deep-furred cheek with my nose. "And you wouldn't want to stop me, would you?"

The wolf closed his eyes and rested his chin on my shoulder. "You're strong in what you believe in, Tyler. I wouldn't take that from you."

I felt a little teary as I tried to hold a smile, reaching my free paw to grip over to Shadow's back. I felt something shift at my side: Brynn. The little female had a rare smile for me on her tiny muzzle. My heart leapt. Here I was, with wonderful furs, given a task which I would be terrified to do on my own. The reassurances of Shadow and friends could keep me going.

"Okay," I whispered to Shadow. "Okay," I said, turning to Burt. "We'll do it."

Howard relaxed, but Burt didn't. The bull's muzzle opened, as if to say something, and tried again, without success. He seemed torn. He knew we needed to go. I was sure Howard had filled him in even more than he had us. But Burt couldn't want us pups to get exposed again to the horror of the new zombie-ridden Furdom.

Howard ignored the awkward bull. "Is there anything you need from us or the FurShopper before you go?"

I had a sudden thought of Siku Radi, and wondered what she would think of furs taking from the FurShopper. In a way, it had been 'her' store. We were taking... 'stealing....' I closed my eyes and gave my head a little shake to clear it. What did I want...?

"Shadow?" I prompted. Did he want anything?

Shadow shrugged. Made sense... he didn't need anything, not used to having much at all but his backpack... and maybe me.

I stared at the two horned furs. Did I want anything? I had a sudden thought... completely random.

"Anything?" I asked before I thought to speak.

"Within reason, I'm sure," said Howard.

"Um," I felt shy asking, straightening up and moving my paws to my lap.

Shadow tilted his head and gave me a cute look, trying to figure out what I might ask for.

"Um..." I mumbled again, rubbing my paws together. "I- ahem...."

"Yes?" asked Howard, leaning forward.

"I've never touched..." I began, feeling a rising blush sting my ears.

Burt gave me a questioning look while Howard nodded encouragement. Shadow made the cutest quirk of lips and expression, making me snicker and lose concentration.

"Nevermind," I waved a paw, grinning. "Too random."

"No. Go ahead. Please," Howard said. "It's a risk, what we're asking. Anything we can do to help?"

"It's nothing about the task," I dismissed.

"It's okay," Howard smiled.

I bit my lip before blurting in a lowered voice. "Can I touch your horns?"

Three adult furs blinked several times. Brynn kept eating. Furs around us continued to ignore our conversation, focusing on their own words and worries.

Feeling I had to excuse my request, I fumbled out, "I know it's weird, but I've always wondered what a fur's horns feel like. I've never known anyone well enough to ask. I never got a chance. I almost touched one in second grade, but my teacher caught me first. They look different than bone. I've touched bone, and it was smooth. Your horns look bumpy, Howard. Do you touch your own horns?"

The more I said, the more ridiculous I felt. The two horned furs were gaining slow, amused smiles. Shadow looked surprised, even shocked at my rambling.

"Uh - uh," I continued. "Not to mean it's weird to touch your own horns. Did they hurt or itch when they grew? Can you feel through them? Are they-"

"Tyler, Tyler," Burt chuckled. "Hold up there a moment. I know you're curious, but let's start one thing at a time."

Howard, still chuckling, bowed his head, offering his horns closer to me. Feeling somewhere between giddy and the most embarrassed I've felt in my life, I reached a paw to touch my fingers to the hard surface.

It didn't feel as hard as I expected. Spreading my fingers and touching firmer gave a more intimate sense. The horn had close, rippled ridges, a testament to growth and age. The horn formed an elegant curve over his head and ended level with his ears. What struck me the most, which I didn't expect was... it was warm. Warmer than I expected in the cool air around us.

As my eyes widened, and I rubbed a little at the horn texture, Burt grunted back a snicker and lowered his head, saying, "Mine are different than a goat's. Better 'test' mine too."

Wow. Burt's horn was even warmer, more than paw-warm, hinting at hot blood beneath. It had an even texture, with shallow lines along the length which might guide my fingers down towards the tips.

I didn't let my fingers linger, not wanting to appear rude in my touching. My grin couldn't be stopped, and I knew I had a terrible, burning blush. One thing off my bucket list.

Burt closed his own grin with a forced cough, glancing at Shadow. "Well, Tyler. We'll leave you to your wolf. No harm done, Shadow."

Howard nodded to my Wulf, who had a deep frown. "Can't say I haven't thought about it, having divorced a while back now, but he's yours, pup. I'd be more interested in you, to tell the truth."

Wait. What. What?

Howard directed his wink to me, "Never had wolf for dinner myself."

Burt bumped the goat hard with his elbow, frowning, but the smaller male smiled and winked at me. Oh. That. Uh....

The two males rose to their hoofs, one frowning, the other smothering chuckles. Burt stretched his big muscled body, his black hide shifting under his light summer clothes.

Burt nodded, moving those weighty, warm horns. "We meet at your car right after the next Curtain. Let us know if you change your mind. We won't think any less of you if you do, pups."

Howard ducked his head low between us as Burt walked away. His quiet voice was loud in my ears as he addressed Shadow and I, over Brynn's head. "If you ever want some company, let me know. I like to play too." As my eyes showed my shock, the goat winked again. "Or not, as you will. Just leave a lonely goat without playmates."

My lower jaw bobbed as I tried to find a response. The black and brown male chuckled louder as he left, following Burt. With them both gone, Shadow released the stiff grip on my thigh I'd failed to notice.

I turned to Shadow, seeing his paws were clenched over his knees. Why? When he moved to meet my gaze, I saw a disturbing mix of emotions. Sadness, worry, fear? Even a bit of hurt?

"Shadow?" My voice cracked as I reached for him.

He gulped and dropped his muzzle down and away. What had just happened? He had not seemed so affected when Howard and Burt were making their request. I had not seen him look so uncertain since the first days after our meeting. Even when he'd shut me out a couple days ago, when Helaina had scared him into thinking he'd lose me, it had not been so impacting.

I frowned through the wolf's silence. "Brynn? Could you go play with Dianna and Tara? I need to talk with Shadow."

The bunny-like female looked up at Shadow, who gave her a slight nod with his short glance. Brynn left with a quick look back at us before she bounced over to the other two young. Shadow didn't watch Brynn leave. He stared at his paws. Was it because of what Howard had suggested?

"Shadow? Um... I know Howard didn't mean to scare you. He didn't mean any harm." I placed my paw over one of his. It was stiff under my palm. "Shadow?" His paw clenched harder into itself.

With a long sigh, Shadow looked near me but wouldn't meet my eyes. "Howard is fine," he said, eyes flicking up, but still not meeting mine. His tail sagged even as he made a false effort to keep his ears up.

"Shadow, what's wrong? I know it's something."

The wolf's ears drooped as he replied with a small shake of his big head.

I squeezed his clenched paw. "Dangerous not to share what's bothering you, Shadow. Remember?" I ducked my head, trying to catch his gaze. "We rely on each other."

I raised my free paw and brushed my palm along the wolf's cheek. Moving my paw under his chin to nudge it up, I could feel the tension of his jaw. When his eyes met mine, they didn't hold to me long, but it was enough to see the ache and longing in their golden depths. He dropped his gaze to the side and closed his eyes with a sigh, nudging his cheek into my paw.

I scooted closer to him on the picnic bench, feeling Brynn's recent warmth still lingering. Ignoring our public setting, I pulled his head to my shoulder and gave his ear two licks before leaning my head into his and wrapping my arm around his furry back. My Wulf was hurting, and I didn't know the cause. He didn't sob or cry, but his breaths came in uneven sets as he fought his emotions.

I heard concerned murmurs nearby, and waved away Michelle, who looked ready to intervene. After a moment, concerned furs gave us space. In Camp, all knew the importance of some time to process. I closed my eyes and listened to the black wolf's rhythms. Breathing, heartbeat, twitching ear. They were unique to me, speaking to my heart of the Wulf I loved.

Mentally exhausted furs trickled from the dining area, and Brynn had left with the other two youngsters. Few furs were in sight. When Shadow rubbed his nose into my shirt and pulled away to straighten up, he looked calmer, but I could tell the problem had not resolved.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked, dipping my head low and looking up at him.

Shadow shrugged and stared at the floor, dim in the overnight lamps.

"Would it help to talk about it?"

Same response. I didn't like how he was shutting down communicating with me. How were we supposed to make things work between us? Yet, he looked so upset I didn't want to push him further if he wasn't ready.

"It's okay, Shadow. You can tell me anything anytime. I want you to understand that." I dipped my head to catch his gaze.

He nodded, meeting my eyes. The hint of relief was there, but the aching of his heart was plain. I hoped he didn't wait too long.

***

>>>>NOTE: DAY 17<<<< Dammit! Why was Shadow not saying anything!? A new day had come and the wolf was still drooping his tail and acting strange. He was even back to carrying his backpack and bat everywhere as we did our best to help in moving the many bodies.

As furs gathered in quiet bunches in front of the restroom area, Shadow stuck close to me, yet seemed to be ignoring me at the same time. What was the problem? Was it me? Was it him? How was I supposed to know if he wouldn't even say anything about it?

My huffed sigh didn't impress on him any more than my last fifty similar expressions to his lack of communication. The big canine remained close, as if we were joined at the hip, but he would stare at me when he thought I wouldn't notice. Well, I was noticing enough!

He had held me through the night, as always. He had woken hard in his boxers, as always. He joined me in whatever I did. But so few words were exchanged between us, it felt he had gone mute. His paws, when he touched me, were hesitating yet desperate, as if I might disappear. I had given him a few opportunities, a few prompts to tell me what was wrong, but he hadn't taken them, instead withdrawing more. Withdrawn, but still with me.

Just stop it already! How were we to support each other if our focus wasn't united? He was my wolf-shaped growth and I, his security blanket. My Wulf was slipping further and further away.

The minor scrapes the skylight had left on my muzzle were itching, and I kept rubbing at them with some undue irritation. It couldn't go on.

Shadow made a passable efforts of normalcy with Brynn, but the little pika could tell something was wrong. She kept tugging on his shirt and tilting her gray head with the little, round ears. Such gestures would have been cute, except for the worry we both had for him.

The furs separated into two groups, Shadow and Brynn following me into the males' restroom. When I hesitated on picking a spot, the black wolf took me by my paw and pulled me towards the far wall, where there might be space for us. He let the old pack drop to the floor and joined it.

I held onto his paw an extra moment, even as he squeezed and released, signaling me to let go. Trying not to feel my sinking heart, I let him go. He didn't even look at me as I settled by him while Brynn dropped to his other side. With my eyes closed, I tried to imagine everything was well, and we were lying down for a rest together, not because of dangerous circumstances affecting our lives.

So distracting were my worries, I didn't even notice the Curtain approaching. I had not prepared for the savage exposure.

The Curtain fell, and my mind was not prepared for it. Waves and patterns thrashed through me, noticeable as I had acknowledged them. The presence again hunted me, seemed to sense my existence. My distracted consciousness dodged and avoided once. Again. Thoughts of Shadow kept distracting my mind, and the presence seemed to sense me in the maelstrom of sensory chaos.

Did it find me? Did I go undetected? I couldn't know as my awareness shredded itself, leaving me in empty darkness. For an eternal instant.

The Curtain was gone, and the backlash of my senses returning to normal struck. Sounds of furs, upset by the event's occurrence filled the echo-y room. No way could anyone 'get used' to the Curtain in it's torturous power.

My half-numb fingers dug into wolfy fur. I gulped, fighting nausea. The last thing I wanted was to puke in front of all the furs, but something weighed more on my mind. I reached a heavy arm to touch Shadow's side. The black wolf didn't react, his breathing steady under my paw.

After a few quiet seconds, he tensed and pulled away from my touch. With the withdrawal, a side of my heart felt shredded away. Physical pain matched a mental cry. Tears formed in my blinking eyes. What was I supposed to do? What could I do if he wouldn't tell me anything? He would pull away. He would leave, and I would be alone in the vast, scary world. A world seeming to bend and crumble around me.

I couldn't control the nausea anymore. As I shivered deep within, it broke the weak control I'd had over my stomach. I managed to turn away before I let loose my traumatized guts' contents to the cold floor.

Diana gasped and groaned an "Ewww. Tyler puked!" Other furs were more subtle in their disgust or sympathy.

Squeezing tears of sick reaction out of my eyes, I thanked my furry stars Sanway and Isaac were in the other restroom. I hated the thought of appearing vulnerable before them. Shadow's paw rubbed up and down my back. When I looked up, he was focused on me, golden yellow eyes filled with concern. He looked drained, worried, even fearful. But he was looking at me, meeting my eyes. His concern had broken through whatever had been bothering him. He offered me his paw, and I gripped it, feeling his reassuring warmth.

The wolf's other paw dropped between Brynn's ears as he looked to her. "Brynn, why don't you go over to Roger and Erin. Tyler and I have something we need to do. Remember I told you we're going to be gone tonight. Don't tell anyone, okay?" he ended with a sly half-smile.

Brynn nodded and pushed to her footpaws. With a glance back at us and a timid smile to me, she left to join the collie family.

"You okay to stand?" Shadow asked, worry shifting his face into deep concern. At my nod, he frowned deeper. "We don't have to do this, you know."

"I know," I breathed out, closing my eyes before I too stood to my wobbling footpaws. At least Shadow was talking to me again. "I want to, Shadow. You understand?"

He shrugged and sighed. "You don't owe these furs anything."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek as he stood next to me. "I guess," I said with a smile. "I just want to do something. Make a difference in the world, you know?"

Shadow gifted me his own smile. "You know I'll be with you either way."

I nodded. I knew, but something was more important in my mind. I needed to be direct. "Would you like to talk?"

"Huh?"

"About what's been bothering you?" I nudged his side with my shoulder, smiling.

My attempt at some lightheartedness fizzled to failure when Shadow's face fell, closing me out once again. Furry hells! What was wrong!? He turned away, still paws at his sides, tail drooped and lifeless. He hefted the backpack onto his shoulders, where it seemed to bring the weight of the world on him.

Shaking my head, I followed him. He walked faster than me, towards the automotive section and my faithful Frankenstein car. I lost sight of him as he slipped around an isle, up ahead. My heart wanted to sink into my feet. Before, he would have been careful to stick close, not trusting the furs or our environment to guarantee my safety.

Had he become so removed he was no longer interested? Did he care anymore? Did he only care to show me concern when he wanted to? What had happened to our promises, our connections?

I wiped at growing tears as I entered the auto repair garage. Shadow was next to my Frankenstein car, frowning in concern and looking for me. He twitched when he laid eyes on me and looked chagrined. I tried to smile at him, but my smile was fake, strained; my cheeks felt stiff with the effort.

"Tyler-" Shadow started, his voice sounding tight.

"Great. The gays are here," groaned an unwelcome voice.

Sanway stalked in, followed by Burt and Howard. The goat glanced over his shoulder, watching for anyone following. He seemed even less at ease than Burt, who was looking worried enough sending us off into the dangerous world outside the tall FurShopper walls.

"Pups ready to go?" rumbled Burt. At our nods, he continued, "I still don't like it, sending you off. We should find some other way."

Howard, stopping his constant monitor of the hooved ones' back-trail, shook his head. "We've been over this, Burt. This is a feasible option. One of few we have."

Burt sighed, bowing his weighty head and shaking it slow again and again.

Howard huffed. "Well, getting the pups worried all over again won't be helpful. Be concerned for Sanway too."

"I am," Burt grunted, stopping his head's wobble. "He'll be okay."

"Then so will the pups; they're adult enough. Have a little confidence in the plan." Howard huffed a brief chuckle. "We made it as safe as we could, considering the circumstance."

Burt said, "Here's some food and basic supplies." He passed a sack to Shadow, who crouched and found room in his backpack. "We didn't want to gain attention by bringing much. Also, we want the space available in your little car to come back full of gear, not leave with it." His chest rumbled with a deep-voiced chuckle.

Howard nodded his warm, warm horns. "But really, pups, Sanway. Please come back alive. Even if you can't come back with anything else, your lives are more important. If it won't work, pull out."

Burt grunted a loud, "Alive. Safe."

Sanway joined Shadow and I in nodding. We knew what was out there. Sanway must know how dangerous it was out there with the undead all about. Shadow and I had gained our own exposure to the creatures and Curtain.

The antelope did his best to ignore Shadow and me, heading for my car's back seat. Shadow growled and pointed him to the front seat, next to where I would sit. Sanway stood, his nostrils flaring, eyes narrowed at the lean wolf. The antelope looked ready to smack Shadow and claim the back seat anyway.

But after a tense moment, Sanway made his own huff, through the low growls Shadow was making. With a wide roll of his eyes, the antelope shoved himself in the front passenger seat. "Are we leaving or what? Not like those things stay asleep forever."

Howard smirked, as Burt said, "I want them back, Sanway. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah." the antelope huffed. "I got it."

The antelope did his best to glare over his shoulder as Shadow set himself behind the driver's seat with his backpack. He gave me a lesser glare as I settled into the front and pulled out my keys.

"You sure you can drive this thing?" Sanway asked sending a disdainful huff my way.

Before I could speak, Burt said, "He's quite capable and a careful driver. Better than his appearance and age might suggest. Least of your worries, Sanway."

Howard put a hoof on my open-windowed door. "Don't start the car yet, Tyler. Just put it into neutral, and we'll push it outside first. No need to remind furs of this particular asset."

I nodded, releasing the brake and setting the gearshift. Howard opened the bay door, and Burt moved the car, seeming to put little effort into it. We three in the car sat in discomfort. None wanted to break the silence, marred by the whiff the tires made.

Burt continued to push the car through the parking lot, while I spun the wheel, dodging undead furs passed out on the hot pavement. The big bull had no trouble pushing us. When we reached the edge of the FurShopper parking lot, Burt released his push, and I ground the car to a stop, brakes squealing.

Burt bent over, glancing back to where Howard waited in the distance by the FurShopper bay door. "Should be okay to start the engine now."

With a glance in the rear-view mirror to Shadow, I started the car. It rumbled to life, somehow a small bit of reliability in the mess of the new Furdom. I smiled in relief and gave the zombie kitty hanging from the mirror a poke, sending the thing swinging merrily.

Burt tried for a confident smile. "You three be careful. Watch out for each other. I want to hear good things from all of you when you get back, okay?"

We made varying noises of response.

I waved out the window to Burt and Howard as I pulled the car onto the silent road, following Sanway's pointed hoof and grunt.

***

It was a small house Sanway had directed us to. He stood by the open garage door, gesturing us in as his undead neighbors began to stir. I gave him a nod and pulled my car into the two car garage. The other vehicle was a very large SUV. I almost smirked at the antelope, wanting to poke fun at his over-compensation. I guessed the big machine was useless, like most other vehicles.

What made the Frankenstein car any different? Somehow the general old age of it's patchwork parts made the thing work when so many things in Furdom did not. How old was old?

The radio was by some brand I'd never heard of, slow to light and play. The engine, at least by my memory, was basic-looking. The patchwork hide.... It was simple to say no bit of the thing seemed to match with other parts, a single miracle the machine even worked.

But I thanked the furry gods it did work, even though it had tied us in this little 'mission' with Sanway. The antelope hauled the garage door shut, leaving us all in the dark until our eyes adjusted.

"You two getting out of the car or what?" Sanway huffed around the time I could distinguish the zombie kitty dangler from the deep darkness.

Seemed a typical garage, including parts, tools and random stored items, but with some OCD level care in tidiness. There was a faint smell of rubber and oil and leather. Light entered the place from a crack beneath the big door.

Shadow patted my shoulder from where he sat in the rear seat. He'd seemed worried for me during the short drive, yet still distracted by whatever weighed on his mind. I wished he'd tell me already. What was his problem? It had to have something to do with me, but I couldn't think of what it might be.

Even thinking back, I had not been able to figure it out. Was it when I'd said 'yes' to Burt and Howard? Shadow had implied it had not been Howard's... suggestive request.

Shadow got out of the car with his pack and slammed his door much harder than necessary. Whatever was bothering him was getting worse. He didn't have to be so harsh with the Frankenstein car. It might fall apart with such treatment. No joke.

"Be quiet, will you!?" hissed Sanway from the joining door to the rest of the small house.

I shook my head and pulled myself out of the car, being the last to follow Sanway through the house door, pulling it shut behind me. Looked like an ordinary kitchen. Sink, powerless fridge, microwave, counter space, oven. Though it was clean. Spotless, as if it was never used. As we moved across the tiled space, a glance into the living room showed similar pristine order.

Huh. Never would have thought.... No it did make sense. Springbok always did seem to have a stick up his fluffy little butt. Looked like it extended to his home life as well.

"Damn pups. What am I supposed to do with you?" the antelope grumbled under his breath. "You're lucky I want to keep you alive. I've got the skills to get you through this, and the stash needed to help us all. Good thing I thought ahead for situations like this. I deserve an award for all I'm doing." He continued to congratulate himself under his breath.

Sanway opened an ordinary door, leading down a set of steep stairs to a sturdy-looking door. Around the door at the bottom were reinforced walls and structural improvements. A bomb shelter? Very near to one.

I shook my head, but the paranoid antelope was leading the way down the stairs and didn't notice. We followed the light hoof-steps down the wooden stairs and into the dark room revealed. Shadow and I blinked when the springbok flipped a light switch in the protected room.

The room had tools and weapons mounted on the walls. Some things I didn't even know what they were for, but they looked dangerous. Guns, knives. The grumpy springbok was some kind of survivalist and weapon enthusiast.

"Don't touch anything!" the antelope grunted.

Shadow gawked at the interior, though he seemed a bit nervous when he spied the bigger knives. I couldn't keep my own eyes off a slender sword. Did Sanway know how to use it?

Beneath the collection of weapons were various kinds of sharpening and maintenance equipment and deep stacks of ammo. More must be inside the cabinets beneath. Damn. Was the male waiting for the hordes of Feathers to focus on invasion of his very house? Bit ridiculous for one fur to load up on this much when he only had two hoofs.

The benefit to us was undeniable. This might help those back at the FurShopper quite a bit in securing the big building. We had enough furs; we needed the means to defend it.

My wide eyes relaxed with my growing smile. Somehow, the undead stood no chance against my imagining of these weapons killing them. Horde, meet endless stocks of an antelope's paranoia. I was reminded of my dad who also had liked to keep dangerous 'toys'.

I caught Shadow licking his lips. My Wulf seemed a little torn between memories the sharp blades brought up and awe at the outlet potential for furs' frustrated aggression.

He gave Sanway assessing glances, trying to determine how much a threat the antelope posed. The answer was crucial considering the incident our first night at the FurShopper, where Sanway and Rusty had threatened us while they thought us asleep.

Shadow took a step away from the weapons. His paws were tense at his sides, trembling and clenched. Following Sanway's gesture as the hooved fur pointed to a side room, the lean lupine looked grateful to leave.

Sanway didn't hide a flare of his nostrils. "Let me decide what weapons we need to take. You two are a bit young to handle most of these. You two can start on the gear in this room. Come this way." When the wolf hesitated after one step, he sighed. "Please? The cord is hanging from the light in there."

I nodded and smiled, touching Shadow's arm and stepping through the doorway Sanway indicated. My black Wulf followed me through the unlit doorway. The light didn't have a string hanging down.

"Sanway?" I turned around, confusion and fear spiking as Sanway closed the door behind us, followed by the firm click of a sturdy lock.