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Tina's Story Chapter 73 Light from the Bottom of a Hole

WARNING: This is a VERY adult story, dealing with rape, incest and other ugly things. If you're young, or not interested, turn around and go back.

Want to meet Felicia and her twin? http://sofurry.com/page/137109

Tina ate her lunch, a half chicken salad sandwich and a bottle of water in the DMV cafeteria, while reading 'English Country Homes" She was alone, happily enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet, when someone approached. It was Felicia.

"May I join you, Mrs. Goldstein?" she asked, politely.

'Why, of course, Tina responded.

Felicia shuffled nervously in her seat. To break the ice, Tina spoke.

"Is...something on your mind?" she inquired

"Actually, yes. ' the small Siamese answered. "I've got a therapist's appointment . I wondered if you'd go with me.?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine. You don't need....."

"Please!" she responded.

Tina was struck by her urgency.

"I ......made the appointment. I know......when I leave.....I may need someone. Please!"

Tina was struck by the pain and urgency in Felicia's eyes.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have Nina?'

"Look at her....'

They both looked at Nina. She sat with Gray, laughing and touching, looking like the newlyweds they are.

"They don't need me screwing that up...and neither does Sis. I've tried to shield her. I guess I'm trying still."

Tina was touched.

"OK, I'll do it. I'll pick you up."

Saturday morning, Tina swung by Felicia's apartment in Binky. The top was down. Felicia was waiting.

"Boy, this is nice!" she commented, getting in the tiny sports car.

The therapist was in the downtown medical building, the same one Tina and the others had gone many times before. The therapist's office was spacious and modern; dark paneling, and Persian rugs. It wasn't long before Felicia went in, and Tina settled in with a magazine.

"I'm Doctor Porter" the therapist offered.

Dr Porter was a striking middle aged red fox. She wore a simple gray suit and pearls. Her longish hair pulled into a ponytail.

"Do have a seat."

Felicia sat nervously on the edge of a black leather chaise.

"Lay down, or sit, as you wish."

Felicia sat, tugging nervously at her short skirt.

"Now, what brings you here today.?"

"I had...a procedure done. A few weeks ago. When I did, they gave me your card. In case I had problems."

"And you do?"

Felicia nodded her head

"What sort of problems?"

"Sadness. The deepest, most awful sadness I've ever known."

"The 'procedure...an abortion?"

Again, she nodded.

"Who is the father?"

"I'm not sure. It...could have been this guy in a bar. Probably, it was my father."

Felicia spoke the words with no more emotion than had she said 'Sugar, please'.

"Your father. Was this....a one time thing?"

Felicia shook her head.

"When did you first have sex?"

"With anyone? I guess I was about five...."

"Five"

"Yes., five"

"What happened, Felicia?"

It was a neighborhood Tom. He was, maybe twelve. He asked if I wanted to play 'Train and Tunnel. I told him I wasn't sure. He asked me if I was scared. I told him I wasn't scared of shit, and pulled my pants down. He got on top of me, and put his ....his...penis inside. I don't think he did anything, just kinda moved around inside me. Then I pulled up my pants, and ran home."

"Did he...'

"Uh huh. I bled pretty good. I was scared."

"Did you tell your parents?"

"No. I'd get beaten, for being 'stupid' So I never told...."

"When did your Father...."

I was...ten, I think. It was Summer. School was out. It was really hot. I had this little short nighty, with matching underpants. It was my favorite. "

"What happened?"

Felicia froze up.

"I don't want to go there."

"Alright. I have an idea. Lay down on the couch. Close your eyes. Have ten year old Felicia tell me......"

After a time, Felicia did as she was told. She lay down, and closed her eyes. After whar seemed an eternity, she began to speak, as a ten year old Felicia would have....

"I was asleep. Then, I felt him there..."

"Your father?"

"Uh huh. I could tell, 'cause I smelled the liquor. I pretended to be asleep. I could feel him pull at my underpants. I didn't do anything, 'cause I didn't want to get beaten....and...."

"and, what, dear?"

"And I didn't want to wake my twin sister. I didn't want her to be scared."

"Then what?"

'Once he pulled my panties down, I felt him touch me, in my girl parts. He has big hands. He put his finger inside me. "

"Anything else?"

"Uh huh. Once he did, I felt him push his 'thing' inside. I was so scared! I hurt so bad! But, I couldn't cry. So, I bit my lip...."

"What happened then?"

"Then he got on top of me. I thought He'd smother me to death. He just kept pushing it into me, until he got all still, then he got up and left. I waited until I was sure he was asleep, then I went to the bathroom. I had blood on me! I was so so scared! I thought I would bleed to death!"

Felicia was in tears, sobbing deeply....

"Can you tell me what happened next?"

"Well, I stuffed my underpants full of tissue, to catch the blood, and I got up, and went to school. "

"Did he...do it again?" the therapist asked, cautiously.

"Uh huh. A few weeks later. The same thing. Then, the next week. Finally, he didn't even pretend anymore. Anytime we were alone. He wouldn't say a word. Just take me to bed. I knew what it meant. In the end, he wanted more. I would put my mouth on his penis. Then, he put it....back there. I HATED that! I'd bleed every time. I asked him, but he'd just tell me to shut up."

"Did you..ever try to tell anyone?"

"What, me? A stupid kid? I couldn't! I had Felicity to protect! If he didn't do it to me, he'd do it to her! I wouldn't let him touch her! That filthy bastard would never touch her! NEVER!

Felicia's tiny body convulsed in tortured sobs. The therapist let her lay there, sobbing herself out, until she finally spoke.

"I think we've done quite a bit today. I think we should end things there. Here's an appointment for next week...."

Felicia walked out, in a trance like state. Sensing that just taking her home would not be the right thing, Tina had a suggestion:

"Let's go get a cup of coffee, shall we?"

They walked around the corner, to a little coffee shop. They took a booth in the back, and Tina ordered then coffee.

"Pretty bad?"

Felicia nodded her head

"I understand." She commiserated

"How COULD you? You have this perfect life......"

Tina just sat there for a time, stung by her words. After a time, Tina reached out, and touched Felicia's paw.

"There's something I'd like to share with you. When...I was little, my mother suffered from mental illness. Of course, back then, nobody talked about it. All I knew was that she wasn't like other mommies. She couldn't....show her feelings....at lest, not like I wanted her to. So, when They sent me to Parochial School, I was excited! Well, when I got to school, there was this sister. She....touched me in ways that adults shouldn't touch children. And I enjoyed it, because I was her favorite. I was her pet. All the other girls hated me, because Sister chose me for everything.....Then, one night, I saw my mother and father....'doing it'. I was so excited and confused, I did to myself, the things Sister did to me. Then I felt so guilty, cause I liked all the bad things I shouldn't like. I was so confused, so guilty....."

There was a long pause while Tina collected herself. While she sipped her coffee, Felicia picked up her head and spoke.

"You're so together. You've got kids, this wonderful marraige...How do you forget?"

Tina looked up to me Felicia's eyes. She laid her hand softly on the young cat's....

"You don't dear. Sometimes....I don't think of it for weeks....months....Then, sometimes it's there all the time."

"But how?"

"How do I go on? Simple. What happened, happened. You can't go back. But you get to decide today. Will you let the past control you, or do you move on, and make a life?

"You...make it sound so simple...."

Tina smiled.

"If only that were true! It's hard work. But there's only one life. This is it...."

Tina paid the bill, and they got up to leave. As they got outside, Tina spoke...

"I feel like ice cream. Will you join me?"