Lapis Lazuli
Stupid, stupid me. Lounging around, comfortable and unaware of any danger. I was just there with no idea that I was sitting smack dab in the middle of a war zone. I was happy, content, carefree. Lightly holding and stroking one of my ears with my tail curled around my waist. Enjoying the soft cushion of the couch as it gently indented under my weight. That's when I saw it.
Out of nowhere, there was this bright glint. I can't forget it. It was lapis lazuli blue. Such a lovely color. The glint only lasted a second before I heard the thud, and felt the wind sucked out of my lungs. It was like I had been shoved, hard from the front as I fell over backwards. I instantly looked down to find a wooden pole standing on the right side of my chest. It was a jet black color, with little swirls you would find on polished wooden furniture in a little cylinder that stood erect from my chest. Looking up it, there were no feathers on the end, it just stopped and cut off.
My eyes fell down the slender shaft of the strange object and found it was lodged in my chest. I couldn't feel any pain, it was just sort of there. I couldn't help but stare at it, almost mesmerized. It was like a dream, but when I moved my hand near it, I could touch it, and feel it. I pushed a little, but it didn't move. I couldn't help but be entranced by the dark wooden object now stuck into my chest.
It took me a moment, but I realized that I couldn't see anything of that magical blue color along the wood at all. That's when it hit me. It was an arrow! I had an arrow protruding from my chest and it was stuck! Panic started to rise inside as my heartbeat quickened and I gingerly took hold of it. I tried to pull on it, but it wouldn't budge. Maybe it was a scaled arrow tip. Then I really shouldn't be pulling on it at all.
So I left it there. It felt sort of strange. I could see the wooden length of it bob as my heart beat. Inside of my chest I felt it almost pulse as my heart pumped. Maybe it was my flesh pulsating around the scaled lapis lazuli arrowhead that I was feeling. There was no pain, and there seemed to be no trauma. It was just there and my life seemed to continue on as normal. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all...
Suddenly I felt a feeling of happiness toward it. I can't remember why, but I could swear I loved that lapis lazuli arrow. I wrapped my hands around it again and pulled softly. It seemed to be lodged in my chest cavity, between two of my ribs. I sighed softly, watching the arrow's shaft descend with my lost breath. I moved my hand up and down the strong black material I could only assume was wood.
I can't remember what happened. After awhile with the arrow sticking out of my chest I started to really adore it. I kept it clean, and would idly touch it on occasion. But...something happened... I don't remember exactly what but, I do remember feeling the rhythmic pulsing of it in my chest. One day it pulsed hard. Just once. And my wound began to bleed. I saw the crimson river run from where the arrow had punctured my chest. The crimson river flowing from the puncture. It suddenly started hurting, faintly, but I could definitely feel the sting of pain.
I started to realize that after all this time, maybe the arrow didn't want to be with me. Maybe after all this time that I thought this one lone stray arrow chose me, and stuck in my chest for a reason... Maybe it never actually wanted to be here with me at all... When I started to think about it, the pain increased. My heart rate started to fasten, and the throbbing became more and more apparently painful. Blood squirted out of the wound with every throb, the calmer river that flowed down my stomach never ceasing. The pain was immense. I carried on as normal, and tried to hide the pain.
I could feel tears welling up inside of my every time I looked down at the lapis lazuli arrow. The pain was almost unbearable and the blood was just so immense. I was lightheaded almost twenty-four-seven after the pain had begun. Once, I even burst into tears during my math class and rushed out the door because I couldn't stop crying. I still couldn't help but feel that I cared for the arrow, after it had been lodged in my chest for so long now. That maybe it had cared for me too... Which made the pain seem to escalate. When I was alone or about to try and sleep, I would begin to cry and try to pull it from it's place in my chest cavity. My ribcage unwavering to my plight, holding the lapis lazuli arrow in place no matter how much I didn't want it there. And every night pain and tears gave way to sleep. Being hopelessly stuck with the arrow there, there was nothing more that could be done about it... and sleep over took me every time.
I've stopped telling people about my stupidity. About how I was just hanging around somewhere that I wasn't aware was a war zone. About how the arrow glinted at me as it impaled itself seemingly permanently into my chest. When I cared and dare I say... loved... the arrow as it stood there in my chest. People still ask me what's wrong when I see it and my eyes well over with tears. I can't tell them anymore...
Thinking about it more and more, no matter how high the pain may escalate during my thought process. There were probably many other arrows that found their way into many other people... Maybe even sometimes fatally or maybe it just scraped them as it flew by. The idea that I felt special because an arrow had plunged into my chest just makes me laugh now... because now... after I have tried to plea to it... and have thought about begging and crying to it... To stop hurting and just be happy with me again... I just couldn't... I won't beg to it, and I won't try to bargain with it... I've tried that before... I gave it my al, and everything I have to try and make the pain subside... but nothing ever works.
I've given up all hope of removing I from my chest. And I've given up all hope of it not hurting anymore. I'll just have to live with the throbbing pain and the tears of blood that stain my once soft white fur. I've just...given up all hope...with this lovely, strong lapis lazuli arrow...