FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"Discrete Details: Part 3"

By S. K. Gwinne

August 2019

Dennis checked his watch and stretched his back on the uncomfortable, steel bench outside the theater. He had given up checking his phone because it just disappointed him not seeing a new text from Weston. The warm, muggy summer air smelled of burger grease, fermented ketchup, popcorn and afternoon rain. He tried to be patient, but it had been two weeks since the last time he saw Wes and he was, in a word, "jonesing," not for sex necessarily, but to just see him again. Dennis chided himself harshly for letting himself get emotionally attached at all, let alone so quickly.

Another black sedan drove by and turned into the parking lot and he got excited, only to see an elderly Vulpine couple exit and walk for the box office hand-in-hand. Dennis scowled and looked the other way, then shot to his feet with an obvious smile when he saw the tiger boy crossing the street.

"Excited to see me?" Wes asked, grinning at Dennis' energy.

Dennis blushed and shook his head.

"A little," he answered, "it's no big deal though."

As Wes closed the distance between them Dennis thought to ask quietly if he would mind a hug only to be surprised when the Pantherine beauty wrapped him in a powerful embrace that Dennis was quick to return. He stole a quick whiff of his onetime lover's fur before Wes pulled away. They exchanged awkwardly honest smiles, then turned for the box office.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner," Wes apologized softly.

"Not a problem," Dennis forgave, though internally he had to admit how disappointed he had been that he'd had to dine without Wes. "It wasn't that good today anyway."

"Next weekend we should get pizza," Wes suggested as they got to the window. The Canine female behind the glass chewed her gum absently and waited for them to say something. "Two for 'Caesar' at seven-forty-five."

"Oh," Dennis protested uncomfortably, "I can get my own ticket."

"You can get the pop and popcorn," Wes assured, passing a twenty across to the disinterested clerk. "This way I can make sure we sit together."

Dennis pursed his lips and nodded.

"Fair enough."

The Canine female sort of smiled at Wes as she passed him the tickets and his change, and they walked around the booth, through the doors and into the foyer. The older theater had fourteen screens and all the dingy signs of the movie theater Dennis had grown up with, never minding that he had grown up in another town in another state hundreds of miles away. It didn't matter. After ten or so years they all looked and smelled the same. The carpet was stained a musty, everything smelled of buttery popcorn, poster displays had telltale remnants of movies from years ago protruding from behind the current display... and Dennis loved it. It reminded him of being a high-schooler with a wad of fives and tens hankering to get to the theater early so he could spend his change on the shitty arcade in the corner. He smiled appreciatively at the world he used to escape to as a kid.

"What kind of pop are we getting?" Wes asked.

"Uh..." Dennis mulled casually, peering at the options, "Coke?"

"Large Coke and popcorn?" Wes requested, and glanced over at Dennis with a fleeting peculiar expression while the clerk went to retrieve their order.

Dennis opened his mouth to say something, or ask something, knowing that look in Wes' eyes must have been the unspoken intent to speak of something heartfelt and important. But neither of them spoke, they just looked the other way awkwardly and waited for their snacks. Dennis swiped his card to pay for the Coke and popcorn and Wes took the cup and bag as they turned and fenagled their way through the group of people in line to head to their movie.

"Was there... something you wanted to say a minute ago?" Dennis dared to ask, glancing sideways at the tiger walking next to him.

"Uh, no," Wes answered quickly, then hesitated and looked like he wanted to say something.

"We can always talk more later if you like," Dennis offered.

"Yeah..." Wes sighed, looking around at the signs above the screening doors, "that sounds--"

"Wes!"

Dennis and Wes both started at the youthful female voice calling from behind them. They turned, and Dennis could immediately sense the tension in his companion. A Pantherine female of the lioness type, pale and lithe and beaming happily, bounded toward them and wrapped Wes in a strong hug around his midsection. Wes was quick enough to move the snacks out of the way, and shared a concerned glance with Dennis before she broke away.

"I didn't know you were going to the movies tonight," she commented, slipping her dainty fingers into the pockets of her tight jeans. A group of high-school-aged females came up behind her--one delicate Vulpine, a tall Lupine wolf girl and an Ailurene red-panda girl with glasses.

"I, uh... made plans with a friend," Wes answered somewhat awkwardly.

"Oh, hi," the lioness laughed, extending her hand toward Dennis. "I'm Shana."

"Dennis," Dennis replied politely, shaking her hand. "Pleased to meet you."

"What movie are you guys going to see?" she inquired further. Dennis got the feeling there might be something amiss, but couldn't place it.

"Caesar," Dennis answered with a smile and a curt nod. Shana raised an eyebrow and appeared to disapprove.

"Hasn't that been out for almost a month now?" she asked. The girls behind her pretended to not be interested and chatted among themselves.

"Dennis hasn't seen it yet," Wes answered with a shrug. "But we should probably go and get our seats."

"Oh, okay," Shana mumbled in disappointment, "well, maybe we can hang out afterward or something."

Dennis suppressed a smile. She was into Wes romantically, not just a friend from school.

"Not tonight," Wes answered assertively, "sorry. I already made plans."

"Okay, well," Shana answered, crossing her arms behind her back and turning on her toes. She glanced at Wes lustfully over her shoulder as she and her friends began to walk off. "See you later then."

Dennis watched them leave, eyebrows raised, and turned to regard Wes, who seemed to be more than annoyed at the intrusion and sighed loudly when she was gone. They continued on their way to the movie theater.

"Sorry about that," Wes apologized irately. "They're cheerleaders for the school football team."

"It doesn't bother me," Dennis chuckled. "I didn't know you play football."

"Yeah," Wes answered quietly, "I'm a... wide receiver."

"I see," Dennis offered, not really knowing what that meant. "Does that mean you catch the ball?"

Wes laughed and exchanged wry looks with Dennis.

"It means I'm supposed to, anyway," he replied.

They found their screen and made their way to their seats. The room and seating had been recently renovated to have fewer--but nicer--chairs, and each landing or aisle had more room. Since the movie had been out for some weeks, the room was mostly empty, with only a couple and someone by themselves in aisles farther forward. Dennis looked around a second time as the lights dimmed and the pre-movie trailers began to roll.

"Did you... do this on purpose?" Dennis whispered, fixing Wes with a knowing look.

"Well, yeah," Wes answered, raising his palms defensively. "How else can I hold your hand or... do other things... discreetly?"

Dennis couldn't hide his sudden smile and slowly shook his head.

"Sneaky bastard."

"Shh," Wes chided in mock derision, "I can't hear the trailers."

Dennis grinned and returned his attention to the screen, only partially paying attention to advertisements he had already seen. Nothing too exciting or appealing made its debut, and anyway he had already seen "Caesar," despite Wes' clever lie that he hadn't. A plottable outcome of having boring weekends meant a single guy who spent a lot of time in movie theaters or eating out.

Before too long Dennis felt Wes' fingers slide over his own on the armrest. He took the tiger's hand gratefully, sharing the affectionate moment and daring to steal a glance at his companion, who pretended not to notice.

The movie began with Roman General Gaius Julius in Gaul leading his army in the heat of battle, but Dennis was only factually watching. His attention was elsewhere. He started by gliding his thumb over Wes' knuckles, then opened the tiger's hand so he could trace gentle circles and patterns in the boy's palm. A few careful, sidelong glances confirmed it was having the intended affect. Wes' mouth opened and closed a few times, and he wasn't able to pay attention to the screen. When the boy shifted in his seat, Dennis could see the outline of his arousal angling upward and to the left. Now was as good a time as any.

Dennis leaned over and planted a slow kiss on the tiger's neck, then nibbled his ear while sliding a hand along Wes' flat belly, finally forcing his way under the loose waistline of his shorts. He paused when he realized Wes had chosen not to wear any undergarments.

"Good gamble," he whispered, then slipped his fingers around the thick, throbbing cock. Wes exhaled loudly and laid his head back, allowing Dennis to work his way along the tiger's throat, planting kisses in all the exposed, sensitive places. He pulled Wes' magnificent organ upright and turned his hand to grasp the button, popping it free and jerking the fly open. The Cervine male took a moment to look down and admire the liberated obelisk of flesh bobbing desperately at his stimulating touch.

Then Dennis drew his legs into the chair so he could get a better angle and lowered his head with purpose, planting a wet, testing kiss on the glans pointed toward him. Wes breathed quickly and deeply, aroused and excited and responding to the teasing. Dennis pulled back on the tiger's shallow foreskin, exposing the sensitive head, and snaked his tongue up one side, over the tip, and down the other side. Confident Wes was ready, he licked his lips, opened his mouth, and fell upon the erect flesh with fervor, looping his Cervine tongue around the shaft and dragging it artfully up and over the glans with each receding motion, then burying it almost to his throat with each plunge. Stabilized in his mouth, Wes' cock no longer needed Dennis' hand, so Dennis moved his fingers to fondle and roll the tiger's beautifully-formed testicles, occasionally tracing a firm middle finger along the tiger's solid perineum.

This continued for several minutes until Dennis felt Wes' gyrations become more rigid, his breaths become louder, and he knew it was soon. Without warning Wes grabbed a hold of Dennis' antlers and rocked his hips upward and into Dennis' mouth, grunting with exertion and ecstasy as his orgasm took over. Dennis was barely able to swallow the warm, gelatinous cum as it shot across his soft palette and almost tickled the back of his throat. He let Wes hold him there as he collected the semen and swallowed as often as he could, but it only lasted a moment. It was more and longer than Dennis expected, but still manageable.

When Wes let go and relaxed his pelvis, Dennis placed his fingers at the base of Wes' cock and gently squeezed, then rolling upward, emptying the tiger's shaft of residual semen. He swallowed dutifully and carefully vacuumed Wes' length, letting his lips softly roll over the bulbous glans and then wiping his mouth when he was free. Wes had fallen into a trance-like euphoria and gathered his breath while Dennis made sure he didn't have any "leftovers" on his lips or chin, as sometimes happened.

The tiger regained his composure and tucked his slickened, throbbing member back into his shorts, then closed his fly and pulled his shirt down over the reminiscent bulge. Wes turned an appreciative look to his gratifying friend and smiled, then raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Dennis, in response, hooked his thumbs in his shorts and forced them down over his hips, wiggling his tail free and then laying back as best he could, exposing his half-engorged Cervine cock. Wes wasted no time finding an amicable position, cupping Dennis' scrotum on one hand, and angling Dennis' penis to his mouth with the other. There was the usual apprehension at first, but Dennis' assessment of the boy's skill had been accurate.

Wes used what Dennis identified as a combination of his abilities developed over time and what he had just learned from Dennis' pleasuring. His tongue-work was excellent, the pressure from his suction aptly used, and how he gently fondled and stimulated Dennis' testicles encouraged his excitement. Dennis massaged the tiger's ear with his hand and concentrated on the boy's perfectly-aggressive suckling, rolling his hips and lower back in time with Wes' rhythmic bobbing.

Dennis let his toes and lets jut out and go rigid, drawing his orgasm out, and felt it crest and complete. He exhaled in satisfaction as he pulsed hot seed into the tiger's maw and stroked his lover's throat affectionately, feeling the constriction of each burdened gulp. Dennis could count on one hand the number of times he had ejaculated while being pleasured orally... it normally wasn't his thing. Maybe it was Wes and all the attractive things about him, or his method, or maybe something had shifted in Dennis' preferences, but it had been easy this time, pleasurable, complete.

He felt Wes follow through the way he had earlier, gently draining the Cervine shaft of residual semen and being careful to clean Dennis' cock as well as he could. Dennis could already feel himself softening, and took a moment to let it breath before pulling his shorts back over his exposure. He turned an appreciative glance toward Wes, who winked and smiled and returned to watching the movie while he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

Dennis was satisfied, remarking to himself inwardly that "this is working out, this is good." In just a few days of being together they had been sensitive to each other and established rhythm, met on mutual expectations, and genuinely enjoyed each others' company.

No, Dennis chided himself, this is not a boyfriend, this is a young man who has come to you for guidance and support. It didn't matter if sex was involved, it was part of the mentoring. Could he enjoy it, too? Of course, but he needed to back off emotionally and stop letting himself slide into the thought process of assuming this relationship could become romantic. Dennis did his best to focus on the movie after that, but mostly failed.

When the credits finally rolled and they were ready to leave, Wes convinced Dennis to go to the restaurant down the street for dessert. They spent the time talking about unimportant things like football and work and what movies and music they preferred. Dennis ordered a simple slice of cheesecake and Wes had cherry pie, so they talked about food next. Plenty of similarities there, Dennis annotated to himself. There were the obvious dietary differences, but for the most part they seemed to enjoy the same things.

When they had finished and it was past eleven and the restaurant was preparing to close, they walked together to the parking lot and hesitated by their cars, neither willing to be the one to end the evening.

"I had a great time," Dennis announced for maybe the third time. "If I had known Caesar was that good I would have gone to see it a long time ago."

Wes chuckled and nodded.

"I think I can safely 'mirror that sentiment'," he said, reviving Dennis' phrasing from the morning after their one night together. Dennis smiled appreciatively.

"Do you..." Dennis began carefully, knowing he was about to ask a very telling question, "have any plans tomorrow?"

"Well..." Wes answered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, "I'm supposed to drive up to see my mom for the day. It's been a few weeks."

"Oh, right," Dennis remarked, nodding knowingly, "of course. Maybe next weekend if you have some time."

"Or we could meet during the week for dinner or something," Wes offered.

"Yeah," Dennis offered quietly, "that works, too."

Their conversation passed into a lull, and it became apparent that they had run out of reasons to delay parting. Dennis fondled the keys in his pocket in disappointment and Wes checked his phone. Then they locked eyes. Each looked to the other for some kind of direction, but all they found was silence in the darkness.

"I guess this is 'good night'," Dennis suggested finally. Wes hesitated, then nodded once.

"Good night, then."

Dennis watched a moment longer before turning away. He climbed into his SUV, started the engine, and waved to the tiger in the car next to him. They drove opposite directions when leaving the parking lot, and Dennis sighed in both relief and some mourning at the evening's end.

On the way home he thought about what it would be like seeing Wes again and wondered again at his emotional attachment to the boy. He told himself not to overthink it. This was the beginning of some kind of a relationship, and he had the luxury of being a definite leader in that relationship. He had the duty and the means to dispel confusion and misunderstanding with clear communication. There was nothing to worry about.

What if he tells you he loves you? He thought to himself. He's a kid, and you're his first... he's clearly attracted to you and wants to be with you, and it's more than just sex to him. He doesn't know what love is.

"No one does," Dennis said into the quiet car as he turned left into the neighborhood.

But some know how to handle rejection. What happens when he says those words and looks into your eyes, expecting to hear them back? Will you watch him melt in pain when you let him down? Will you say them back?

"Fuck."

Dennis pulled into his driveway and into the narrow garage, then sat there staring at the unfinished back wall while his car idled. He scratched his chin and wiped at his eyes and face aggressively, hoping to reset this thought process and simply go on to a quiet night.

Then someone pulled into the driveway behind him and turned off their lights.

"Uh..." he mumbled, turning off his car and stepping out, shielding his eyes instinctively, though that didn't help him see into the windshield.

Wes stepped out of the little, black sedan and closed his door purposefully, striding toward Dennis without making eye contact and without saying a word. Dennis stood just outside the garage and waited, eyes somewhat wide in expectation and surprise. He watched the young tiger hesitate, staring toward the back yard while he warred with himself over what to say. Dennis gave him the time he needed, not knowing what to say himself.

"It's stupid, but..." Wes finally began, shaking his head and looking down, his voice cracked with emotion, "I, uh... it hurt too much to say goodnight, so... I turned around and came here."

Dennis sighed, moved by the show of affection, and grieved for Wes, having experienced these feelings before. The first time, the first person... it always comes with a tumult of emotion. Somehow you find that the thing bringing you the happiness and joy you never knew you always wanted brings with it the most profound sadness and the greatest burden love can--the deep sensation of emptiness brought about by the other's absence.

"You can always stay with me," Dennis stated, placing his hand on the tiger's arm. Wes looked up, eyes moistened by unshed tears. "It was really hard for me to say goodnight as well," Dennis said, trying to recover some professionalism, being barely able to do so. "As long as your dad knows and is okay with it, you're more than welcome to stay here."

He could tell it wasn't exactly the greeting Wes had fantasized, but that he was nonetheless pleased at being permitted to stay. Dennis closed the garage and lead the way inside, smiling sweetly at the Pantherine boy as he closed the back door behind them.

* * *

"What time will you have to leave in the morning to go to your mom's place?" Dennis asked, stroking Wes' hair. They had dressed down to T-shirts and undergarments and lay in the bed. Wes had insisted upon Dennis snuggling up behind him, and their legs intertwined gently over the covers.

"I'm probably not going," Wes answered quietly.

"No?"

"It's, uh... complicated," Wes continued. "She left my dad, like, ten years ago because she didn't want to be with him. He's not an asshole or abusive or anything. Have you ever known him to be a jerk or pushy?"

"No, I haven't," Dennis replied, thinking back over the several years he'd worked with the guy.

"They got married because they got pregnant. She didn't love my dad, but he loved her, and she didn't have many options so they got married. She wasn't a very good mom growing up, and now it's more of a ritual than the joyous occasion it should be when I go see her, so..."

"That sucks," Dennis offered.

"What's your family like?" Wes asked, shifting his tail between them.

"Oh, geez..." Dennis mumbled. He could feel himself peering into the can of worms.

"We don't have to talk about it if you--"

"Nah, it's fine," Dennis assured, "it's just a little cliched and muddy."

"Alright..."

"I have an older brother, Thomas, and a twin sister, Diana. That's it for siblings, though my brother is married and has four kids now. Both of my parents are still alive and convinced that some day I'll wake up and realize I'm not gay. I've tried to tell them that's unlikely, but they're confident. It was a religious upbringing. They're not usually openly hostile about it, but they did decline to help me pay for college because of it. Oh, well. My sister is the only one I talk to regularly."

"Hm. Glad to know I'm not the only one with a busted family."

"I think that's par for the course for families anyway."

"Yea, probably..."

Dennis nuzzled Wes' ear and breathed in the scent of his fur, then placed his hand on the boy's ribs. He was warm to the touch, and Dennis enjoyed taking in the details of how his flesh and bone felt under his fingers. His fur had a silky texture to it, unlike Cervine fur, which was notably coarser. His body was notably strong, but languid and curving, graceful and lithe. Dennis reprimanded himself for having never really given Pantherine males any consideration before... they were truly remarkable, and at least at the dawn of adulthood, incredibly sexy.

Wes yawned and stretched his legs.

"Did you..." Wes yawned, "uh, want to do anything tonight? Because I can if you want to."

Dennis stroked the tiger's ear affectionately.

"We don't have to. It's late."

Wes shuffled briefly and became still, and Dennis reached carefully behind him and turned off the lamp. It was the fastest and easiest Dennis ever remembered falling asleep.

* * *

Dennis dreamed that Adam had come back. In his dream he apologized for everything, and Adam quickly and easily forgave him. They embraced while Dennis cried. Adam undressed him slowly, encouragingly, and Dennis felt the usual mixture of anxiety and joy at the physical attention Adam was preparing him to receive.

"See?" Adam coaxed pleasantly. "I'm not upset. I'm just happy to see you again."

Dennis let the larger Cervine male pull his pants down, exposing his nakedness. He felt a rush as Adam's fingers playfully explored his body, and gasped at his uncharacteristic aggressiveness.

"You can do what you like to me," Dennis offered, knowing what Adam wanted, and turned away. He felt the testing finger under his tail and tensed up initially.

"No reason to be scared," Adam said, kissing the back of his neck. "Just relax, my love. Just relax."

"Sorry," he apologized, relaxing and letting the finger in. "It's just been so long. I can hardly believe this is happening."

It was marvelous then, he almost couldn't wait for Adam to be satisfied with him. He closed his eyes and let the more experienced male prepare him, then gasped at the pain of being penetrated.

When Dennis opened his eyes he saw the far wall of his bedroom. Wes had his orange arms around Dennis' waist and was pressing into him gently. He could tell by the sensation it was still the initial penetration.

Adam wasn't here. Adam was gone. Dennis was with Wes.

The jarring shift left him unsettled, but he had the conscious faculty to simply maintain. He let Wes continue, grunting as the thrusts became more needy. The tiger's paws held him tightly, one against his chest and one on his lower abdomen. Wes' muzzle nuzzled his neck, and he could feel the punctuated, impatient breaths of hot air against his flesh. With a jerk and a shudder Wes moaned and came, capitulating to a significant orgasm. Dennis blinked away the remaining sleepiness as Wes whimpered the last few convulsions.

"Wes," Dennis said quietly, "can you pull out now please?" He said it gently, a request, but inside he was horrified and felt victimized at having been taken in his sleep.

"Yeah," Wes replied, and carefully but quickly withdrew from under Dennis' tail. "Let me get the towel."

Dennis waited for a moment, collecting his thoughts. When he felt the rough linen touch his backside he jumped and threw a hand back to halt Wes.

"I'll, uh," Dennis said, "I'll do it. Thanks."

While he sat up and brooded, he noted the change in Wes' breathing pattern. He knew Dennis was not pleased.

"Did I... do something wrong? Was I too rough?" Wes asked.

"I shouldn't have to tell you that it's in no way okay to have sex with someone while they're sleeping, Wes," Dennis replied.

"What?" Wes' tone seemed honestly confused.

"How is that hard to understand?" Dennis asked, turning to look at the Pantherine youth and his disheveled features.

"It's not," Wes defended, "but you weren't asleep."

"I can assure you I was--"

"You were talking to me," Wes continued, holding his hands wide searchingly. "Do you often speak in complete sentences while you're asleep?" Dennis blinked uncertainly, and when Wes didn't receive an answer he shook his head, furrowed his brow and explained. "I woke up with a boner and rolled over to kiss your neck and tell you good morning, and you told me, 'You can do what you like to me'."

"I..." Dennis began unsuccessfully, trying to make sense of it. Hadn't he said that to Adam in his dream? Had he spoken it out loud?

"I know not to rape people, Dennis," Wes grumbled, frowning decidedly.

"I'm, uh..." Dennis said, closing his eyes to guard his emotions and collect his thoughts. "I'm sorry, Wes, I must have been having a dream. I don't blame you."

"It must have been some dream," Wes remarked, "because you were wet down there and were making all kinds of sexy noises. I promise if I thought you were asleep I wouldn't have done anything."

"It was my fault," Dennis declared, shaking his head and forcing a smile. "I guess I was in a deeper sleep than I thought. Why don't you give me a minute in the shower to clear my head? I promise we're okay, I just need a moment."

"Sure, uh..." Wes answered and trailed off uncertainly as Dennis walked quickly from his bedroom into the bathroom and closed the door. He leaned his head backward and breathed, trying to still his nerves, then turned to the shower and got under the water. It ran down his face, washing away dirt and grime, but leaving behind his uncertainties, his anxiety, and his shame.

Dennis felt the tears threaten to come, but shook his head and found the calmness he had kept for so long. He wanted to be angry at himself for becoming so unsettled by a dream, a memory, but was simply too upset to feel any more emotion. After fifteen or so minutes he had regained as much of his composure as he needed, and turned off the water. While drying off he accidentally saw himself in the mirror; his adult, masculine features, the respectable rack of horns on his head. He reminded himself then that Adam was a long-gone memory, a ghost, and none of that mattered anymore. He drank a few sips from the faucet using his hand, then wiped himself dry and returned to the bedroom. He paused markedly when he saw Wes sitting pensively at the foot of the bed. The tiger looked up at him with concern.

"I'm really sorry," Wes offered, and Dennis immediately felt bad for letting his brokenness complicate things with Wes.

"It's not your fault," Dennis assured, sitting next to the boy and taking his hand. "I was having... well, probably not a nightmare, but a dream of some kind."

"A nightmare?" Wes asked skeptically. "What kind of nightmare makes you respond... sexually? That seems pretty twisted."

"It's hard to explain," Dennis replied, gritting his teeth, "and I don't know that we really need to get into it right now."

"Do you want me to come over again?" Wes asked honestly, flatly, and Dennis scowled inwardly.

"Of course, I do."

"Then we need to get into it," Wes insisted. Dennis blinked in surprise and made eye-contact, and could see in the tiger's eyes a kind of resolute surety. "What's going on?"

Dennis held his breath in thought. Was this like ripping off a Band-Aid? Did he simply do it and get it out of the way? He felt admittedly exposed by Wes' assertive resolve, caught off guard. He thought with some feeling that perhaps he and Wes were more peer-and-peer than student-and-teacher, and it loosened the restrictions he normally had in place to protect himself.

"When I was a boy," Dennis began, looking away, "our family spent a lot of time with my aunts and uncles and cousins. There were a lot of us--seventeen cousins at the time--and Diana and I were some of the youngest. We always wanted to hang out with the older cousins, but were often not allowed to. I think I was about eight or nine, and the older cousins were in their late teens... probably your age. The most popular of my older cousins was Adam." Dennis shook his head and sighed, then fixed Wes with something of an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, this is..."

"It's fine," Wes said, squeezing Dennis' hand reassuringly, "go on." Dennis nodded slowly and decided to make it the short version.

"I wanted to be like the older boys, and Adam was the only one of them who paid me any attention. I thought that made me special. When Adam started expressing an interest in touching each other and seeing each other naked, I saw it as an opportunity to be closer to him. I knew that surely wasn't something he did with anyone else, and I was happy to oblige. I remember it making me so anxious and nervous, but I always pretended like I was thrilled by it, like there was no issue. The confusing thing to get across is that... well, it's not like he forced me. He would have let me say no."

"Did he hurt you?" Wes asked carefully, sensitively.

"No," Dennis answered certainly, "he didn't. He was very patient and sensitive. Anyway, these opportunities presented themselves more as we got older because we lived so close. Adam volunteered to house-sit while my parents were gone or needed to run errands, and in those times he and I would get intimate. It progressed quickly. We did, uh... everything. I was comfortable with it and so was he. We were still going on like this when I hit puberty and beyond, but when I started going to high school we got caught. I let my guard down and said something that made my parents suspicious, and they started digging until they figured it out. The whole thing blew up. Adam was angry at me, my parents were angry at me, Adam's parents were angry at me... that was twelve years ago, and I haven't seen that part of my family since. My parents stopped hanging out with their siblings as much because of that."

"Yikes," Wes remarked, "that's... heavy stuff."

"Yeah," Dennis agreed. "My parents sent me to counseling and therapy and told me I didn't love Adam, that it was impossible for a man to love another man like that."

"That's ridiculous," Wes spat angrily.

"I think they know that now. I tried to contact Adam a few years ago and found out he'd killed himself."

"Oh, no..." Wes moaned.

"The hardest part of that was finding out that no one had told me because they thought it would be inappropriate. They thought it would be inappropriate to tell me that my cousin had killed himself, or invite me to the funeral."

"How could someone be that cruel?" Wes challenged, his eyes moist with unwept tears. He was angry, furious. "What did that even fix?"

"I'm not defending them for it," Dennis assured, "and it's hard to forgive even all these years later. But I can't help wondering if what we did together made him so guilty that he killed himself. The immature and natural part of me wants to say that's on me."

"Wait..." Wes began, adopting an expression of revelation and disapproval, "hold on. This--us--this isn't the same thing. We're two consenting adults."

"I know."

"Well, I'm not so sure you do. Because you're having nightmares about your older cousin who steered you down this path and then lives got wrecked in the process--"

"I don't think it's the same thing," Dennis tried to assure, but Wes interjected hotly.

"Just listen," he said, raising a hand to quell any further of Dennis' assertions. "You backpedaled pretty hard on a number of occasions because you're trying to be careful, and you don't want us to get ahead of ourselves. I get it, that's smart, and you have more experience than I do by a lot, so I'm taking my queues from you. But, you're not corrupting me or using me. I came to you expecting this, wanting this. My father and I instigated this, right?"

Dennis nodded and made to speak before Wes stopped him again.

"I don't need your attention and I'm not continuing this against my will or better judgment. I'm... I'm really sorry about Adam, for how that turned out. That's awful. If you need someone to talk to more about it, I will always listen. But I really need you to not worry that this is somehow going to be the same thing, because frankly..." Wes shrugged with an admitting expression, "I can see the similarities, I can. But this is way different. Adam shouldn't have been fooling around with you that young, that was stupid. His stupidity is on him. We're two adults, and we like each other, so we get to shoulder our own crap and help each other out at the same time."

"Yeah," Dennis admitted tentatively, "you're right."

"That leads me to another point," Wes continued, adopting a more somber tone. "I like you a lot, for... a lot of things. As long as this is going to continue, I want you to consider me your boyfriend."

Dennis swallowed and blinked, but let Wes go on.

"Can we be honest for a sec?" Wes asked, smirking. "Platonic friends don't make out or have sex. That's a fact."

"That's fair," Dennis laughed.

"So you're my boyfriend," Wes stated, "and I'm yours. That means no kissing or banging other people." Then he shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Without mutual consent, I guess, like if I brought a hot friend over and we both happened to want a threesome, or... you know, whatever."

Dennis pursed his lips, trying to contain a smile, and nodded. They were admirably sensible words. It wasn't like they were rushing things, technically. Dating is dating, not getting married, right? And if he was going to be the--at least--temporary stability for Wes, shouldn't that include role-modeling a proper dating relationship?

"Okay," Dennis agreed, "we're boyfriends then."

"Good," Wes said, sighing and smiling widely. "Wow."

"Did you think I was going to say no?" Dennis asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I didn't really think that far into what I was saying," Wes admitted, and they laughed. "It just kinda came out and then I was, like, standing at the edge of a cliff watching my request that we be boyfriends kinda float out there beyond my reach. It was a little horrifying."

"Well," Dennis offered sincerely, "you did good, and I'll happily be your boyfriend."

"Thank you," Wes said awkwardly, then added, "or, uh, yeah. This is good."

Dennis licked his lips and smiled hopefully.

"Now that we sort of belong to each other," he said, "do you think we should shake hands to seal the deal or something?"

He watched Wes' expression go from confused to suggestive, and chuckled when the Pantherine male spun from his seat and pinned Dennis to the mattress.

"Let's seal it like this," Wes whispered, and inserted his tongue into Dennis' mouth.

Dennis held Wes in his arms as they made out and let the last of his reservations about his relationship with this unconventional lover dissipate into the freedom to simply be.