The Newbie's Perspective
Jed is new at tabletop games--he's a bit skeptical when his friend's new system starts to incorporate kinkier elements, but then they start having trouble keeping the game under control...
I looked over my character sheet, feeling a little lost.
Andrew had invited me to join a tabletop campaign he was starting. The big husky was so excited about showing off his new homebrew game, he'd insisted I come, even though I had no experience. ("A newbie's perspective would be perfect," he'd said.)
So I was the newbie in front of the regulars as we'd sat down to make up our characters: Andrew, hunched over behind his screen, writing notes about the questions I was having; Kai, a raccoon who was wide enough to need a couple of the little folding chairs to seat his ass on; and Rook, a much slimmer pied crow who was gawking at Kai's belly with open admiration. ("I had another guy in mind too but he couldn't make it--we might see him next time.")
The setting was supposed to be semi-modern, but with extra magic; at first I thought I was building a magic user, but as the afternoon went on and I was looking through the Google doc with all the spells, I was less and less sure. What kind of game was this?
"Andrew!" I said. "Has someone been messing with your file? I don't think--"
The husky's eyes flicked to his laptop where he had the page up on his own screen. "Looks right to me, what's the problem?"
"Well," I said, "For one, it looks like every spell my class can cast has a note under it that says using it adds an inch to my anal diameter?"
Andrew stood up. "What?"
The others snickered as he came around to look over my shoulder. "Huh," he said. "You're right, that's ridiculous. I'll change it to say 'circumference', that'll be a little less OP."
"But--that's--is that usual in these kinds of games?"
"There's precedent."
Somehow I couldn't put my real objection into words, but it still felt wrong somehow. "Erh...can I look over the other classes?"
The husky looked confused. "Why? That's the best bonus there, and it'll help Kai get his cockfighter bonuses."
"But I--"
"Maybe he'll want to multiclass," Kai said, the raccoon giving me half a grin. "Can't blame the guy for wanting more."
"The lion's share for the lion!" Rook squawked, before I could answer.
"It's not really a bad idea," Kai added. "If Jed takes, uh, whatever you called the thief class too, he could pull stuff out of his own ass."
The husky sighed. "Uh, I'm not sure an ass bandit could steal from himself--but anyway, we've already spent longer than we ought to on character gen; I wanted to get through at least a bit of intro before we had to break for the day."
"All right, all right, I'll stick with the analyst," I said.
"Analist."
"Oh," I said. "That'll teach me to assume a typo."
Three adventurers stand in a tavern, where--
"A semi-modern tavern?" Kai cut in.
"Moe's Tavern!" Rook said.
Andrew cursed and did a bit of search-and-replace on his laptop.
Three adventurers loiter in a gastropub where, unbeknownst to them, the people of Faerie have begun sneaking their way back into our world...
It took me a while to get used to what was going on--I didn't really understand what my goal was till Andrew had one of the Fair Folk emerge from the kitchen, cackling about curses in the coffee, and then suddenly I thought I had it.
My job was to beat these monsters down.
"What's this guy look like? What's it take to neutralize 'em?"
The satyr is five feet of pure sex, with about five feet of masculinity sprouting from those little goat legs. It looks like--
"Don't goat legs make it a faun?"
"Shut up, Kai." It looks like he was trying to convert all the patrons of the pub to satisfy his lusts--so you could either find a way to turn him off, or find a way to sate him.
The raccoon looked like he was going to object again, but Andrew cut him off. "Yes, yes, shut up, Kai, of course you could come up with your own plan too, but we simplify things for newbies, right?"
In my mind's eye I could see the satyr. He looked...fun. It'd be a shame to turn him off. But how could I get a cock that big to go off?
I looked over my spell list. The side effect my spells had might've been useful to open me wide enough for him, but I'd have to cast more spells at once than I had power for. Ugh, I thought. There were some really powerful spells that might be helpful, but somehow I hadn't realized that at level 1 all I had access to were a glorified fart spell and...'illusionary hole'?
"Can I cast an Illusionary Hole on the satyr's dick, to maybe get him off?"
"What good's that gonna do you?" Rook said. "Seeing a hole around his dick wouldn't even--."
"It's for any one sense," Kai said, putting a paw on the crow's shoulder. "He's on the right track."
"Go ahead and roll," Andrew said.
I felt it go wrong the moment the dice hit the table.
"Oh, fuck," said Rook. "Snake eyes on your first roll? You're boned!"
Andrew looked across the table at me. "Boned indeed. All right..."
The wizard cast his spell, fighting fear and arousal as he tried to distract the fae satyr. Still being green in his arts, however, the new spell got away from him, drawing greater power than he'd intended--making the Illusionary Hole far more than a mere illusion.
I cried out in pain as I felt the satyr's pole spear my ass.
Not my wizard's ass. Mine.
Rook and Kai stood up as I fell off my chair, but Andrew kept narrating.
The Hole that the satyr's cock was penetrating was not just real, but more real than anything in the world. His cock thrust into the higher reality where unfathomable creatures were dreaming his world of fae and wizards. He would break through, he would--
I writhed on the ground as the phantom cock pulverized my innards.
"Stop it, Andrew!" Rook was shouting.
"I can't help--" the husky said, before the narration resumed. "I can't help but enjoy such a nice tight hole," the satyr said, fixing his gaze on you all as the last of the other patrons fled the club. "As payment for opening this gate for me, I shall have to reward you..."
"And I shall have to reward you well."
The voice was no longer Andrew's--the husky himself had been knocked down, his quiet whimpers under Kai's weight barely audible above my gasps of pain.
It was the satyr's voice.
The satyr was in the room.
The satyr was in my ass.
The hairy goat-man leaned over me, its cruel expression obscured somewhat by the way five feet of cock distended my torso, filling my field of vision.
Didn't I have a rib cage? I thought, trying hard not to pass out as the satyr pounded my hole.
Even though the satyr's cock moved through me somehow without any resistance, it took a while for the pain to dull; he still forced the breath out of me with every thrust, preventing me from protest.
Kai was pinning Andrew down and Rook was trying to force his muzzle shut, to stop the story from continuing--
--but the brave adventurers were too weak to match the power of the fae; they could not even follow him to this plane, where their powers could not reach--
Rook and Kai were both knocked away from the husky, and the satyr raised a hand, holding them in place in mid-air and drawing them closer, never missing a beat as he thrust into me.
I could tell, though, by the way he was slamming into my rump, that he was ready to blow. I only hoped--
--and now, as the satyr prepared to unload in their friend, fae magicks gathered, ready to convert him under the power of the satyr's transformative cum, ready to corrupt him, to bring down the lust of the satyr...
He slammed in hard and five feet of cock throbbed in every part of me.
The flood of his cum felt empowering, as if restoring the damage that his brutal treatment had given the lion. The power of the fae filled him just as surely as that massive cock did, and he felt the need to pass it on to the others.
The satyr pulled out, leaving me feeling terribly empty for a moment before I realized I had a job to do.
I went to where Kai was floating in mid-air, the big raccoon held up by the satyr's spell, and started to pull off the khaki that covered his immense rump--his pants were more than enough cloth for me to get lost in; to be frank, so was the ass that was revealed under that ringed tail, and I was looking forward to it.
As the once-good-hearted lion took in the sight of his target, his concupiscence surged, his member swelling to sizes he had only dreamed of before, a size that rivalled the satyr that himself was advancing on Rook. The storyteller was left helpless to watch--unable to move--overwhelmed by his fear for his friends and the anticipation of his own fate--what would happen to him when it was all four of them against him, all four of them advancing to sink those enormous cocks in any hole they could find...
Andrew's voice was breaking, the husky understanding the fate his words portended but entirely unable to save himself from them. The poor fellow was cowering in the corner, covering his head with his hands; there was no magic holding him in place, only his terror.
He's totally free to go if he wants, I thought. 'Once good-hearted' indeed. I lined my new enormous member up with Kai's hole, driving foot after foot home with one solid thrust and feeling pure energy flow into me as the raccoon cried out in pain. His yelling joined with those of the crow beside me as the satyr took his liberty there as well.
It's not like they need any sympathy, I thought, enjoying the tightness of the raccoon's hole. It doesn't hurt long, after all.